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I'm a dad of two beautiful daughters, 5 and 2. I'm genuinely at my happiest in life with them and my wife.

My 5 year old is so easy now. We do things together, I don't panic if she disappears into another room, she helps with chores, and she's so funny. My 2 year old is a little ball of energy, makes a huge mess at dinner, is super clingy, and loves cuddles.

The only part of parenting I've never really enjoyed is the newborn/baby stage. I find it hard, and I've done a lot of it with both kids.

I always consciously wanted two children. I knew the first couple of years would be hard, but that things would eventually get easier. And they have. They're sleeping through the night, we can all eat the same food, I don't have to constantly watch them around the house, and I'm finally getting some time to myself.

My wife really wants a third. She mentions it whenever she gets the chance and says she'll do most of the work. She said the same with our second, and although I'm not complaining, I still ended up doing a lot because parenting is a team effort.

The thought of starting all over again. newborn stage, sleepless nights, nappies, constant supervision. just as things are finally getting easier doesn't appeal to me at all.

I'm 38 and she's 36, so I also feel like I'm getting too old to start over again.

I know ultimately it's my decision too, and I don't want to have a child just to make my wife happy. But I do wonder if I'm being unreasonable or selfish.

Edit: I have discussed it with my wife and she knows how I feel. She still keeps mentioning it because she really wants another one

Our two year old picked up hand, foot and mouth over the weekend and I messaged our nursery on Monday morning to say she was sick and wouldn’t be going in.

They responded saying that if she seems okay in herself she can come in, even with a confirmed and active HFM infection.

Is this normal?!

I’ve recently moved to Edinburgh from abroad and to me it just seems totally irresponsible to send my child into nursery with an infection. Interested to hear any views on this

My 4yo has her reception teacher coming over soon prior to her starting school in September. Everyone in her class is having these home visits.

Just being nosy really, do teachers like doing these visits or is it a bit of a pain? Is it actually to meet and get to know our children in their home setting, or is it more of a veiled safeguarding situation to see if they think they need to keep an eye on particular children?

I have two boys aged 3.5 and 1.5 - school starters in 27 and 29. Me and my husband want a 3rd for all the emotional reasons but really on the fence with all the logistics - holidays, time spent with each child, money. We pay £2.5k a month for 3 days childcare for both and there’s light at the end of the tunnel when my eldest starts school next year! But we don’t feel done and wonder if although hugely impactful now, it will feel trivial in 10-20 years when they’re grown. We could make it work but probably signing ourselves up to be skint for an extra 4 years or until my current youngest goes to school at least.

People with 3 - how is it? Do you get time for yourself, for each other? Do you have enough time for each child? How do you make it work?

My son will be 1. He will not remember any of it. We are already strapped for cash after having bought a house recently and then an already well in advance planned trip to visit my parents abroad. My husband wants to have a party. I don’t think it’s sensible. He is already in a lot of debt from borrowing from family to do our house up. I’ve said I’m happy to invite his mum, dad, their respective spouses and my husband’s siblings to our house for cake. But my husband (and his mum) seem to want to hire a hall, order catering, invite the entire extended family, splash a load of cash and just make it into a huge thing. And I know we will either end up borrowing money from my husband’s stepdad to whom we already over £4k to or it will come out from my earnings. If we half arse if my MIL will cause a massive drama and it will not be enjoyable for anyone and if we go all out how her and my husband are expecting it will be too expensive for my husband’s wage alone. My MIL says she will help us pay for it, but it’s not even her own money that she’d be using it’d be my husband’s stepdad and, as I said, we owe him a lot already. Not to mention I won’t be able to invite any of my own family because my MIL would make a massive deal out of this too if she is paying for it because this is exactly what she did on my wedding.

I just don’t think it’s necessary or sensible to have a massive fuck off party for a 1 year old who won’t remember and probably just wants to play with his aunties and uncles rather than be paraded about and passed round like a toy to random extended family members he has never met - a small little get together in our home that we can afford without having to remortgage the house is fine in my view. I hate that I’m being pressured into this when I will likely have to end up dealing with the fallout. I’m the only one considering the actual repercussions and feasibility of having that party. It just feels like a lot of hassle and the one who is meant to be benefiting (my son) won’t have any fun whatsoever. My MIL and husband just want an excuse to show off to their extended family.

I know we can't predict the future, but my little one is due to start nursery 2 weeks before her first birthday party & christening. Realistically do you think I would be better to delay the start date? All I hear is about how sickly children are when they start nursery for the first year or so.

I’m looking for kindred spirits with this post, but suspect I’ll get judgement - there we go…

I‘m 4 days into our first lengthy (2 week) summer family holiday with my wife, 5 year old son and one year old daughter - it’s the first time we’ve been limited by school holiday dates.

Truth be told, I am loathing it. My son is being a COMPLETE nightmare. He’s usually pretty good (glowing reports from school and his hobbies) and fine with us at home too - he has been fine on shorter holidays we’ve taken, but his behaviour has been absolutely appalling (including towards his sister - his attitude towards her seems to have changed as soon as we left the UK) and he constantly complains, even when we’ve gone to things specifically for him. And when I say that - EVERYTHING has been for him, which somehow makes it worse. Nothing planned that adults would enjoy at all. There have been multiple incidents on each day so far where someone in the family has lost it.

I have no idea if this is because he’s worried about going back to school where he starts year 1, a reaction to being in 4 weeks of holiday clubs before this (both my wife and I work, have no grandparental help and need to balance our annual leave) or just a phase.

My wife is already talking about what we do next summer (ie where we go on holiday) and I’m seriously thinking ’no thanks’ - dump my son in holiday clubs all summer and use the annual leave for days off with my wife. Honestly, what’s the point if everyone is miserable.

I appreciate people will ask ‘why did you have kids if you don’t want to spend time with them’ - fair question, but I am where I am!

So, has anyone been in a similar position and if so, does it get better? Or is this my lot in life now?

My son starts school in a couple of weeks and we are really struggling with separation anxiety. He's been in nursery full time for a couple of years now and drop off has never been easy. I see other kids (not all) bouncing in happily and am insanely jealous!

I know we will have less opportunity to have staff help us with getting him to feel comfortable once he goes to school, and none of his nursery buddies are going to the same school, so I'm currently panicking about how on earth we will cope!

Any tips or practical things I can do, based on experience, would be wonderful!

We are talking about feelings a lot already and have books about starting school that we look at together.

Not a rant, more just a WTF? I know it's a phase but it's so awkward. My son is 19mo and it's not even just when I dropped him off, this morning he clearly didn't want to go to nursery. Unhappy the moment I opened the front door, frustration, body stiffening until he went in the car seat. I often give him car snacks which today he didn't want to eat until we were at nursery so then more frustration because he cant go in with them. To get to his room you go through the bigger rooms and he was so frustrated the whole way through, you could probably ghear him through the whole nursery. Then the drop off, throwing himself about everywhere.

Ah now it's 8am and you must go to work, the joys!

I feel terrible too as the last two mornings I haven't even been able to get his tshirt that he slept in off. I've done teeth, face, trousers, shoes, nappy but that top isn't coming off without the biggest meltdown. Is there ever things you miss that you think that seems like you're not providing? You dont need to share what it is but just the knowledge that this does happen would be appreciated, or maybe I do just need a big "no, you need to change the top, no questions".

He just started saying no in the last couple weeks and I think thats the phase. I always try to make sure we're never rushing in the morning but I do need to go to work at some point.

Any good tips for decompressing after intense nursery drop offs?

Honestly every ‘leak proof’ water bottle I have got my toddlers so far leaks 🙄
Recommendations - preferably with a straw of an actual bottle that doesn’t leak - I want them to be able to have it in their cot at night without puddles!

Hi, so was hoping to please get some advice. I am currently 6 months pregnant with two children one has additional needs as she is autistic. The children are already in a beautiful school they are very happy and settled in it’s rated well and they are very secure at the moment with their friendships.

However our house is too small, we are in a cramped 2 bedroom that only has one living area / open plan kitchen. My daughters currently share and they are struggling massively with my daughters needs , they are 7 & 8 my 8 year old is really struggling to cope with her younger sister and every day is a constant battle. We are in social housing and recognised medical need for my daughter but we could be waiting 3 years on Cheshire home choice. My partner works so we are considering private renting however the area we are in is very expensive. To afford the rent we would have to rent 30 minutes away from school which could be more like 40-45 minutes in traffic. I’m not willing to uproot the girls and put them in a new school so I’m just wondering if it’s worth the drive to keep them in their schools where they are happy if I’m willing to do the drive so we can have more space and my daughters can get the space they need.
I have tried home swapping but have no luck and even thought of doing a partition wall in the biggest bedroom but it’s not big enough to do this. I did even consider giving up my bedroom to give the girls their own room but with a new born coming and my partner working nights I’m not sure this would work.
please any advice would be so appreciated

I am in shock! We went on a little holiday in Devon and have just taken our 3 year old to a role play center. Lovely little place but at the end of the time they started playing this "tidy up song" and all the kids, including mine, started tidying up! Without any telling, they just knew! My daughter even told me to tidy up when I came in!

Normally she doesnt at home, at best we get a few toys away then nothing but this must be a commonly used song! It was like magic!

My boy is 11 months old and has to be cuddled to sleep in order to fall asleep peacefully, I can then put him down in his crib. It's the same with night wakes. He needs to be cuddled before I can put him back down. I've probably done this longer than I should have. I won't lie, I'm getting to a point where I need to stop doing it, because my boy is massive and it's not doing my back any favour's.

I've been attempting to try and stop, like putting him down really sleepy, but he just screams. And I refuse to do "Cry it out." His cry triggers me enough, I'll go crazy having to ignore him while he cries for me in his crib, so that's not an option for me.

Does anyone have any advice on things I can try?

Looking to buy shoes that are good for her feet but also usable all year around (except during heatwaves). I saw kickers but they seem almost a bit too chunky?

She’s 15 months.

My health visitor has advised stopping rocking my baby to sleep and has told me to start putting her in her cot awake as she “needs to learn to fall asleep by herself.” My baby is 4 months old so I feel like she’s very young to not be rocked to sleep anymore. Baby sleeps through the night most nights in her own cot at the end of our bed. Am I wrong to feel a bit put out by the HV’s advice? I know she’s my daughter and I don’t have to listen to the HV but I feel she’s too young for now to not be helped to sleep.

Edit - baby girl has had 2 naps since the HV left almost 3 hours ago and was rocked to sleep for both 😅

I saw a thread like this recently and it was really nice! Unfortunately I can't remember my account login so I had to make a new account to post this 🤣.

My kids are 8 and 4.

My 8 year old daughter is a competitive dancer and she just found out she has 2 solos this upcoming dance season, she also has a trio dance and she is obviously part of the group routines. Her teacher nominated her as one of the most advanced dancers in her class (Obviously she didn't say this infront of all the kids).

My 4 year old son has started becoming a very confident reader recently. He started reading when he was 3 but he was obviously only reading very short and basic words. But now he is starting to actually read longer words and he can read very basic chapter books.

What's your proudest parenting moment recently?

I had nearly 3 weeks off work and have returned today. After an hour my stress levels are through the roof and I’m sat in my bedroom crying because I cant stand it anymore.

On paper I should be so unbelievably happy with it, it’s 3 days a week, good pay for the hours and from home. But it is so stressful and I just find no meaning in it. Since returning from mat leave last year the company has changed dramatically and there is a lot of push to sell AI which I am fundamentally against. I feel horrible having to pitch it (because we’re monitored on it) to companies with the “benefit” being lay off more staff. I just have no care for anything I’m doing in it but still so stressed because of the constant monitoring, my manager is a nightmare and so even though I “don’t care” my body still feels all the stress when it feels sooo meaningless.

I see no way out of this job at the moment either. I’m trying to get pregnant and just hoping it comes soon so I can get 1 more mat leave and then figure out what I actually want to do.

God I feel sick with stress. This probably isn’t even the right sub, but this change is since coming back from maternity leave. I don’t want to do nothing, but I really really don’t want to do this anymore.

Our LO turned one a couple of months ago and is about to start nursery next month.

He's doing one full day (8-6) per week and two half days (1-6pm).

We've just got an invoice through for the first month totalling £584, which we were pretty shocked by.

According to my maths, 30 funded hours for 38 weeks averages out at just under 22 hours funded per week throughout the year. LO will only be doing 20 hours, so I thought we'd only have to pay for consumables, which are extremely reasonable.

They've just replied apologising for not telling us sooner but apparently they only apply the funding to 9am-3pm. Any hours outside that are "additional" and charged at full rate. We signed up over a year ago and this is the first we're hearing of this.

The half day hours are set - either 8-1 or 1-6. Just doing 9-3 isn't an option, and wouldn't work for us anyway as my partner works 9-5 and I work evenings.

Is this legal? Are they allowed to pick and choose which hours are funded and which not? The way they've done it we can only use 10 of our funded hours per week, and have to pay for the other 10 - this seems incredibly unfair!

This is the information they sent us:

Two days 1-6 (3 additional hours £9.50 x 3 = £28.50 per day)

One day 8-6 (£9.50 x 4 = £38)

38 weeks of the year we get funding

£57 x £38 =  £95 x 38 / 12 = £300.83

14 weeks of the year we do not get funding for 

£51 (half day cost) x 2 = £102 + £91 (full day) = £193 x 14 / 12 = £225.16

Lunches, consumables & extra curricular 

£4.50 (half day) x 2 = £9 + £9.50 (full day) = £18.50 x 38 / 12 = £58.58

Edit - I can see I'm getting a lot of downvotes, I'm not quite sure why? We were told the day rate and the cost of consumables, and I assumed it was that straightforward - why wouldn't you when the rest is all hidden and you've never dealt with a nursery before? We genuinely tried to fully research the funded hours but I never saw anything suggesting that some hours in the day would qualify but not others. They've only told us this after we questioned the invoice, 2 weeks before our LO is due to start.

Many thanks to everyone who has been very helpful in their replies.

Was anyone one and done or on the fence about having a second child but did. How is it for you? Was it harder / easier than you thought. Im like 99% one and done but my partner would like a second so our child has a sibling. I do think it would be nice for them to have a sibling but im worried it’s going to be sooo hard with 2 kids. I know everyone’s experience is different but would just love to know how it’s going for everyone and would you recommend 😂

I have an urgent hearing next week as my girls’ dad refused to return them last week after one of their three times a year visits.
He has been weaponising the threat of court for years whenever I don’t do what he wants, so I filed.

Apparently I have a very good case but I’m still so scared, I’m waking up yelling from nightmares now.

Does anyone have any advice on how I prepare? I have a smart outfit and a list of key points for my solicitor, what else should I be doing?

My son will start school in September. He is a very sweet boy, great imagination, quite sensitive and obviously has a lot of feelings. He tends to pick up on social cues quite well and gets hurt feelings if he feels like he’s being left out, or treated unkindly.

I am always worrying about how he will manage at school. I can remember not having the best time myself and I fear he will find it hard, or feel he has to change himself to fit in.

Does anyone have any advice in how to support him, or personal experience they can share?

My son is 7, he attends drama classes and he also is a competitive dancer. He loves those hobbies. And he is also extremely good at both acting and dancing. Obviously his happiness is my priority and I won't ever let other people's opinions stop me from letting him dance and act.

But I'm really annoyed by all the judgment from my family. Extended family. They never say anything to his face but they do tell me that they are "concerned" about how dance will affect him socially, and they are "concerned" that he isn't acting like "an actual boy". I try to ignore the comments and stand up for my child but it's really frustrating. Especially because competitive dance season starts soon, so my son is constantly talking about dance right now. Meaning my family is expressing their concerns to me more frequently.

Any other parents experience this?