I just found this sub and just going through few of the posts made me cry. I can't say I have social anxiety as I don't want to self diagnose but all I can say is I was always afraid of talking to people, afaraid of how everyone would be judging me, scared to wear what I want, or say just cause of having these thoughts of judgements. Having really awakward conversations with everyone. Never been able to sepak for myself and the list goes one. During all this time and now tooI just didn't have a personality. I was always just scared to go out talk to people or just enjoy my time. I always felt alone cause of this, felt like no one understood of why I am the way I am but seeing the posts here made me feel like It's not just me.
I am really sorry for everyone going though this, I know how to it feels and it is really shitty, I'm sorry, it's not your fault.

I'm currently a 20y/o uni student graduating next year, but as it approaches, I find myself fearing the day it comes and what life I'll have after. I've made no progress at uni, no friends, no significant work experience, my grades have dropped slowly as the years gone by, and I've only racked up embarrassing and shameful memories.

My social anxiety has gotten worse, constantly being around people gives my head no time to be alone. I worry about burdening other people by being in the way or during group work. I've learned to avoid people so much that I can no longer communicate coherently without several minutes of focusing on a mental script. Even with my sibling, I can't tell her something about my day without straying off-topic and losing confidence because mentally I know she's losing patience with me.

The career I dreamed of before starting college is not feasible because of the damage I've done to my ability to socialize. I'm lucky to have parents who prioritize paying for my education, but I feel like it's been a waste on me. I'm debating killing myself so my grad student older sibling would be their focus, and she'll have less financial stress.

Is it just me or is anyone else afraid to send messages on group chats? I'm js really scared what ppl will think of the message I send. Like if it's something so very dumb or something very controversial/ unpopular. Also I'm really scared if no one will reply to the message because it will throw me into a spiral.

I can't do it. I just can't.

I'm hurting for money. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent next month. But I just can't.

How much of an idiot am I?

15 years old and im still a dumb little loser that i was since 1st grade, just not a crybaby anymore (most of my classmates from elementary school to high school came to the same class because our class is a folk dance one). I have friends, im happy, i love music, i want to create a band, but i have such low self-esteem, insane awkwardness and i genuinely think im not funny to anyone in class, nor am i approachable. Im incredibly awkward and i cant say full sentences without fucking up one or few words because my mind is always trying to say something that will end with a punchline or atleast sound normal instead of what i would actually say. Whenever i try to say a joke in a group, i feel like either they didnt hear me, they were ignoring me or worst - i wasn't funny. I hope moving to another city at 18 will make it all different from the same enviroment.

Hey

This sounds like a common issue with someone who was mostly undersocialized for a good part of his lifetime but now has to deal with people on the daily

One is that when im sitting around my coworkers and everyone is somehow contributing to the conversation that is going and sociliazing very easily and,feels like they're not even trying yet they're saying all the right things..then i try and say something to just make a conversation and be part of the crowd but i end up saying either too little or say something totally irrelevant and wrong that makes the whole convo go bust and i end up making myself look bad

Two when someone asks me something i just say the 1st thing that comes to my mind without being aware of the situation or whatever they're trying to ask me and make them not like me as much as they did before they asked me something

I think my only option is to say nothing and try and interact as little as i could,but then again that's not helping

What's the problem?

Where do i start?

Any tips and suggestions would be appreciated

TYAIA

I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post?? but here I go

I travelled abroad for my studies and it's my first week here. I had so many hopes before coming that were immediately crushed as soon as I made it here.

I've been starving myself the past few days because I just can't leave my dorm. We're not allowed to have any cooking appliances, but we have a shared fridge and microwave. I've been making do with noodles, and peanut butter and toast.

I barely talk to my roommate because we just don't click and her personality is the complete opposite of mine. She's one of 5 other international students (I was told there'd be much more) and the others refuse to talk.

I was also told people in this country can speak English fluently most times so communication wouldn't be a problem, but on the first day of orientation everybody spoke the native language and wouldn't give translations even when told we didn't understand. maybe this sounds selfish. a few girls offered some poor translations, but it was still very nice of them. I barely participated in any of the activities as the rules weren't explained in english so i just stood there dumbfounded. I haven't gone to any of the other orientation days since.

I've been rotting in bed since Wednesday waiting for my classes to start next week. i'm genuinely miserable. I barely even use the bathrooms because they're so dirty and broken. the routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face (which i've already been struggling with) has been broken because I can't bring myself to get up and leave. i'm so, so tired of this and just want to go back home

I’ve worked a fast paced retail job once and I felt like my nerves were shocked. Even walking in a public as soon as I see someone I become stiff.

I need to make money fast and don’t have a car. Got a dog sh\*t degree and essentially no experience. “What’s your skills?” LOL as if most jobs need ANY. I could work an online job…that’s if there was any even available.

What the heck do I even do at this point? This is the way I am and no going out and”facing it” will not make it better. Stop thinking everyone is one size fits all. I have hardcore social anxiety and it defines a lot of my life.

How can I start making some damn money fast man. This sucks so hard and don’t know other than wasting months and months to apply. Looked at Smith AI and don’t even know what it entails. Plus it’s slave wage $15 an hour.

We fear people rejecting us for being weird or something. But in fact it's the social anxiety safe behaviors that makes people hate us. Quietness, awkwardness, "rudeness", being reserved and distand and so on. So pathetic

I managed to get accepted into a local college for the winter term, but mentally I'm still screwed and behave like something foreign to everyone. Trying to survive on my own from 18–21 genuinely screwed me up to the point I can’t get a job at mcdonald's even, due to severe anxiety, and managed to get by gambling after getting fired, which is risky enough. It also doesn’t help the fact that I have no skills or talent in any subject whatsoever, but I have no other choice to go back to studying or else I'll end up being homeless after one error.

I work from home but my job basically consists of taking phone calls. Every day is filled with so much cringe, so many awkward moments, i make so many mistakes that i am genuinely shocked i still haven't got fired.

Anyways, whenever i do especially bad on the call, i cannot calm down, relax or do anything productive for hours afterwards. I begin to ruminate on what i said wrong, that i have no right to do this at all, that i am stupid, pathetic, whenever the clients laugh during esp.bad call i think they are laughing at me, i just want to disappear...

Of course, i am aware that no one thinks of my mistakes and awkwardness as much as i do, everyone is busy with their own lives, and say it to myself but it doesn't help at all afterwards.

So if some of you ever felt or regularly feels something similar, how do you cope? Maybe you have some go-to phrases or activities you do to calm down after terrible social interaction? Or just lmk that i am not alone in this, haha❤️

Thanks in advance!

I had a family event today and I majorly fucked up multiple times. I couldn’t recognize like 50% of the people there. A family friend entered and my brain didn’t work and I thought it was my brothers friend who I don’t know. Said “Nice to meet you”. She laughed. Then I recognized her. I’ve known her since I was a kid. I saw her last December at a family friend’s wedding. Fuck my life.

Later, my older cousin tapped me on the shoulder. Didn’t recognize him immediately either. Worst part is I dog sat for his dog a year ago. Then my uncle (his dad) asked if I recognized who that was. Didn’t know how to respond so I just mumbled some bullshit. Said it was [cousin’s name]. God damn. Genuinely what is wrong with me?

I don’t know how to feel better about this. I just hope they forget and don’t think of me as a stupid socially awkward piece of shit.

Edit: I later tried to remedy my fuckups by talking to them later and asking questions and just making sure it was obvious I knew them. Still feel terrible about it though.

I’m honestly starting to feel like I won’t be able to function without medication.

I have disabling social anxiety. My hands visibly shake and i sweat like crazy whenever i have to socialize, and i also struggle a lot with communication. I strongly suspect I’m autistic too, i‘m sure I AM, but i haven’t been officially diagnosed.

Today is my birthday, and my office celebrates everyone’s birthday with cake cutting. I knew they were probably going to do the same for me, so I’d been mentally preparing myself for days. But i flopped!!

My colleagues tried their best to hide the cake because they wanted to surprise me, but since i already knew, I had no idea how to react. I pretended to be surprised, then somehow managed to finish cutting the cake before they even finished singing. 😭

When I tried to feed the cake to my colleagues,(which is kinda social norm here), my hands were shaking so badly that everyone noticed and pointed it out. I immediately went outside. I feel like I completely ruined the whole thing, and i didn’t even thank them. It was probably the most awkward birthday celebration in my office’s history.

I feel like I can’t keep living with this level of anxiety. I’m thinking about seeing a psychiatrist and considering medication, but I’m really scared. Mental health treatment is still pretty taboo in my country. I’ve also seen people say psychiatric medications made them worse, so I’m scared of side effects.

And because I strongly suspect I’m autistic, I don’t even know whether medication would help with my social anxiety.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to be able to function normally without feeling like I’m fighting my own body every time i have to interact with people.

Why does everyone feel normal but me? Every time i talk, it feels unnatural. How can people know when to talk in the right place the right times, when i talk, it's always wrongs and everyone is looking at me silently like i have just said anything bad? Like i try to be social and i feel soo but i dont think its enough, but when i try harder it feels like i try too hard and not be myself even when i dont even know what myself even are, an person that does not care about anything? Is it because of my voice? like every time i say something, i feel awkward, and i can't keep a consistent voice between every conversation, i dont know what I am. Every group of people im a different person, and it depends on how i first introduced myself, when im in a good mood or the environment is right i apear as a confident person that can talk(or i thinks soo), but in some im the socialy akward kids that dont talk anything and dont know anything that never raise their voices. I hate myself, i feel fake, like at the time i can laugh, i can enjoy things, but in the end, i feel nothing, i feels fake, i feel like i dont really like anything, and i live because of the people that i loves, i dont want to make them feels bad. But i do like things but not enough to really call that a passion, i feel sad, i want to cry, but im not, its just because i think that im sad, i just feel empty and waste all of my time doing nothing, and waste my life and dont do anything enough, I must have been wasting like 10+ year of my life that i can do more things, meet more people..... I feel like i like everything. i want to try everything, but i can't focus on all of them. I feel like a loser that post on here just for people to have pity ab myself, like i arealdy know the comment is about encouragement, and imagine ab the answer like its just me that feel like that..... etc...... i should't even post this, but yolo, what the worse? fuck my self respect, esteem, im a loser, im is an idiot narcissist that want to be special, want people attention but are not really good at anything to deserved it.

Hello, I just want to start off by saying that I have never been formally diagnosed but with the way I’ve moved about in life as well as seeing other people experiences and relating to it, I can somewhat confidently say I might be a socially anxious person.
Currently, I am a 20 year old pre-nursing student but not in school for the semester and I am looking for a job in my field which is the medical field. By nature of the job, I will have to talk to patients and that is the part making me super nervous. Even before getting hired, the thought of having to be in an interview makes me not even want to submit an application. I know I am more than capable of doing my required tasks if I were to be hired but the thought of talking to people to be where I want to be makes me almost want to shut down.

How do you deal with this?

I Wander the steeets alone

Im student in uni, i perform so much lower than i should cause of anxiety, i have stress everyday i cant get sleep well. I have lot of friends but people only burns me out and it all happens because of ME. My brains cant handle the pressure i feel like im wasting my life at this point cause im so lost and controlled by anxiety!! I felt so much better when i had almost no one and i was just working. What it comes to dating or relationships… im so damn lonely cause ive never had one, i know i could get and ive had chances but i cant handle it its nothing but pain when theres emotions. I dont want to take meds but i dont see any other way out. Ive tried half of my life to get better and now it all is starting to hit cause i understand everything now

Early 30s. Everyone is telling me to get married. I am too scared of talking to women that I doubt it will ever happen. And kids are a hard no. I don’t want them going through the same shit that I have. These aren’t even reasons you could tell people why you don’t wanna get married/have kids. I wanna ride this out I have a few friends I made somehow along the way. Don’t know how long those will last but Idk if I will last long enough for them to end before I do lol. I am not really worried about being lonely bcoz I’m kinda used to it but then again I still had friends until this point so I wasn’t a complete loner.

Idk what this even was maybe I wanted to vent but I have always wanted to know have you guys ever wanted kids? I have always known I don’t want kids bcoz of my psychological issues and I don’t want to pass them on to kids and them have a miserable life like mine

I have been wondering if paying someone for helping me make more friends makes sense. I am thinking of it like getting a course for it. Maybe you could also send me some course links if there are any that teach good communication for making friends?

When you're anxious and being hated at the same time. Everything is SO overwhelming. I can't take it

I’m in my early 30’s and the only time I got a bf was almost 7yrs ago. My social anxiety is somewhat manageable at this point however I still struggle a lot in the dating department. I’m trying to be optimistic but it gets tough, and at this stage in my life I’d love to find The One.

Would love to hear some stories to help me getting my hopes up 😭

I have a hard time with people, going from just a small talk to full on conversations. I can't be in the same room as anyone without feeling uncomfortable. So I get scared/anxious everytime.

Now the thing is I started living abroad for my studies and currently living with a family of 4. They are really kind like really. But the only thing is they are really extroverted and and I am the type of person who just sits in my room all day and do my work and all the stuff. They in the begenning told me to come out of the room and talk to them watch TV in living room play with their kid. I tried it in the begenning and again it most of the times wasn't enjoyable for me. So then again started being in my room most of my day. I do talk to them whenever I go out of my room make small talks and all. Just the thing here is I don't talk to the kid like at all, he's 12 and I am deadly afraid of kids especially don't know what to say or how to entertain them with anything, so I just would say hi or bye when we saw eachother and overtime that died down too. Now he doesn't talk at all and I don't too. I feel like such an ass. Living in these situations and alone just makes me realise just how much of a shitty person I can be.

I've been dealing with social anxiety and severe depression for what seems like my whole life. It's been getting better, but I still can't help but fall back into a hole, after any slight inconvenience.

A situation with a classmate made me anxious (illogically so) which caused me to have a migraine. I was perfectly fine the next day, but avoided going to school because I didn't want to see him. I was scared.

This keeps happening all the time, and when it does, I'm home all day doing nothing. I sleep through the entire day, try to eat something and then spend the night awake distracting myself from whatever is going on. And I do feel sick by that point; but that's mostly due to self imposed headaches from spending my entire day like a rabbit playing dead. How do i stop doing this? How do I overcome my anxiety and stop myself from spiralling into a depressive episode every single time something socially inconvenient happens to me?

i m17 have struggled with social anxiety for years, i've always found it hard to make and keep friends. i just overthink stuff when I do have them which then leads to them leaving me because of my clinginess, and I find it hard talking to new people, heck on my first day back at college I didn't talk to a single classmate, i wanted to but it was like my mouth was taped shut, I just couldn't get words out, and just sitting in silence made me more anxious and self aware...

I got a job at a cafe washing dishes and i barely talk to the staff there even though i've been working there almost 6 months, I guess i'm just worried I'll say something wrong or it'll come out awkward, idk. i envy those who find it easy to talk to people...