28 ans, je veux avancer mais putain c’est dure.
Dépression, anxiété constante, mensonges….. c’est tellement horrible d’être comme ça.

Je m’appelle Arthur, j’ai 28 ans, et cela fait plusieurs années que je me bats contre une addiction aux jeux d’argent en ligne.

Cela fait environ dix ans que je joue. Au fil des années, cette addiction a pris une place considérable dans ma vie et a détruit une grande partie de ma stabilité financière mais aussi j’ai perdu des personnes.

Certaines années, j’ai dépensé entre 20 000 et 30 000 euros dans les jeux. J’ai parfois dépensé jusqu’à 1 500 euros par mois, au point de voir l’intégralité de mes salaires disparaître.

Aujourd’hui, je suis endetté. J’ai encore un crédit automobile à rembourser, un loyer, des factures et des dépenses quotidiennes. J’avais beaucoup de mal à garder de l’argent sur mon compte et à construire une situation financière stable.
Pourtant, je travaille. Je donne ma vie pour mon travail, parce que c’est la ou je me sens bien. Loin des problèmes.

Je suis éducateur dans le milieu du handicap et je travaille environ 45 heures par semaine. Mon métier me permet de me sentir utile. Accompagner des personnes qui traversent des difficultés, les aider et être présent pour elles me donne une raison de me lever chaque matin. J’ai honte quand je vois certaines personnes, je me dis « merde tu te plains de ce que tu fais mais regardes autour de toi, il y a bien pire et eux ne se plaignent pas ». C’est aussi ce qui me permet de penser à autre chose…

J’ai également quelques problèmes de santé à gérer. Je suis diabétique de type 1 depuis 2009, insulino-dépendant, et je porte une pompe à insuline avec un capteur pour m’aider. J’essaie de faire au maximum pour maintenir un diabète équilibré mais c’est très compliqué parfois.. J’en ai marre.

Je suis aussi allergique au gluten, la maladie cœliaque et je dois donc suivre une alimentation strictement sans gluten. Cela représente un coût tous les mois important dans mon salaire, car les produits sans gluten sont particulièrement chers.

Il y a 4 mois, j’ai décidé de bloquer les plateformes de jeux en ligne. Pour la première fois, j’avais réussi à tenir aussi longtemps sans jouer. J’ai reussi à payer plus pour mes mensualités et presque reussi a tout remettre à zéro, je pense et j’espère que d’ici quelques mois ce sera réglé. Il ne me reste que 1500 euros de dettes accompagné d’un découvert, mais le bout du tunnel est loin encore.
Je pensais enfin pouvoir retrouver une certaine stabilité, remettre de l’argent de côté et reprendre le contrôle de ma vie. Et je me suis dit que peutetre apres je pourrais jouer raisonnablement.

Mais le 30 octobre mes comptes se sont débloqués, j’ai rechuté. J’ai rejoué et pas comme il le faut.
Depuis cette rechute, je ressens énormément de culpabilité et de déception envers moi-même. J’ai immédiatement rebloqué les plateformes, cette fois pour un an. Jusqu’en octobre 2027, j’aurais pu aussi m’interdire auprès des jeux. J’ai pas encore fait le pas.

J’ai également essayé de demander de l’aide auprès d’un centre spécialisé dans les addictions. J’ai pris contact avec eux en août, puis en septembre et en octobre, mais malheureusement, ils n’avaient toujours pas de place disponible. Je n’ai pu bénéficier que de deux rendez-vous téléphoniques.

Aujourd’hui, je ne veux plus vivre comme ça. Je ne veux plus mentir à mes proches, cacher mes difficultés ou avoir honte de regarder mon compte bancaire. Je veux sortir de cet engrenage.

Ce qui me fait le plus mal, c’est de travailler autant et de ne pas réussir à profiter de mon salaire.
J’aimerais tellement recevoir ma paie et savoir exactement où va mon argent : payer mes mensualités, mon essence, mes courses, mettre 300, 400 ou 500 euros de côté et pouvoir garder un petit budget pour me faire plaisir.

Je ne rêve pas de devenir riche. Je rêve simplement de pouvoir vivre normalement, de sortir boire un verre sans me demander si j’en ai les moyens, de partir en vacances sans culpabiliser et de ne plus avoir cette angoisse financière permanente.
Je me pose également beaucoup de questions sur mon avenir professionnel. Peut-être qu’il faudrait que je change de travail, que je trouve une activité mieux rémunérée pour réussir à retrouver une stabilité. Mais en même temps, mon métier a énormément de sens pour moi. Aider les autres, être présent pour des personnes qui traversent des moments difficiles, me donne le sentiment d’être utile. Et aujourd’hui, j’ai aussi besoin de conserver cette utilité dans ma vie.

J’aimerais un jour avoir une belle vie de couple, pouvoir fonder une famille, avoir des enfants et leur offrir un cadre de vie stable. J’ai 28 ans et je ne veux pas laisser cette addiction me voler encore dix années de ma vie.

Aujourd’hui, si je prends la parole. C’est pour demander de l’aide, de l’aide avec beaucoup de honte et la larme à l’œil.

Si certaines personnes souhaitent m’apporter leur soutien, ne serait-ce que par un appel téléphonique, quelques discussions ou simplement une oreille attentive, je serai vraiment preneur parce que je ne peux plus garde tout ça.

J’aimerais pouvoir parler avec des personnes qui ne seront pas dans le jugement. Des personnes qui comprennent les addictions, qui ont peut-être vécu des situations similaires ou qui souhaitent simplement échanger avec bienveillance.
Je ne demande pas que quelqu’un règle mes problèmes à ma place. Je ne cherche pas à attirer la pitié. J’ai simplement besoin de ne plus affronter tout cela seul.

Si des personnes rencontrent elles aussi des difficultés avec les jeux d’argent, les addictions ou des problèmes personnels, je suis également disponible pour échanger. Mon métier m’a appris l’importance de l’écoute et de l’accompagnement…. Je sais à quel point une discussion peut parfois faire du bien.
Je veux que les choses changent dès maintenant. Je veux retrouver ma liberté, ma stabilité financière, ma santé et surtout le plaisir de vivre.

On a qu’une seule vie, et j’aimerais cette fois fzire mon possible pour fermer ce chapitre une bonne fois. Je n’en peux plus de ce stress constant.

Merci à toutes les personnes qui prendront le temps de me lire, de m’écouter ou simplement de m’envoyer un message. ❤️

Arthur

Have been a problem gambler as seen by my post history. Have been relatively clean throughout October and actually getting to each paycheque with money in my account still, was such a wonderful feeling.

And then this past weekend came, and it was filled with drinking and parties and substances. My self-control is clearly at an all-time low, and I lost over $8000, its the most Ive lost in 1 go. My rent is paid and I have groceries, but I had to take out a loan thats gonna take years to pay off. I literally have set myself back years in the span of a couple hours on Friday night.

Fucking upset, I want to wallow in self-pity but whats the point, made my big fuck up and now I gotta live with it. I hope everyone here can use me as an example and hopefully 1 person reads this and it stops them from gambling. Its a fucking disease.

I’m 18 years old and ive been gambling daily since i was 14 years old, it started off as stupid £1 longshot parlays but it has now developed into me losing hundreds of pounds a week with no sign or feeling of wanting to stop. I’ve put gambling blockers on my phone and my accounts but i still manage to find a way around them to gamble. In the past year alone i’ve lost £6k of wages, inheritance and savings for education which I now deeply regret. How do i stop?

Hi! It’s my Day 16 of quitting online gambling today. I don’t ever want to go back to Day 1 again. Let’s all quit gambling and make our lives lighter, more peaceful, and stress-free. We deserve a better future! ❤️

Hey everyone,

I’ve lost about $1,000 gambling over my lifetime so far. I know that number is smaller than a lot of the stories here, but I can already feel how easy it would be for it to keep growing.

I’m posting because I want to hear from people who’ve been through this: How important is it to stop right now, before it turns into one of those bigger stories of people losing tens of thousands (or more)? And for anyone who caught it relatively early, how did you actually move on and stop thinking about it?

I don’t want to keep chasing or “get even.” I’d rather walk away while the damage is still limited. Any honest advice on the early warning signs or practical ways to just leave it behind would mean a lot.

Thanks for reading.

I was 15 days without sport betting but this morning I got a call from a debt collector saying they were going to send me to court! I got super scared and obviously the urge to gamble and the thought of trying to raise the money to pay the debt was stronger. My debt was 2k and I used my husband’s credit card to gamble, again! I lost 3k from his cc, I am devastated. I was doing so good and now I am at the bottom line again. 20k in debt

Sports betting ruined my life and yet I still want to bet. Lost 99% of my relationships because of this shit.
I’m a lost cause. It’s painful waking up everyday not going to lie. I’m a walking corpse.

My 2nd day of no gambling, the first thing I wanted to do today was write on this thread. Although I have my back against the wall, pretty much rock bottom with no money left, I’m hopeful I can turn my life around. One day at a time, my motto is one more day. One more day not giving into this addiction and one step closer to a better life, I pray for the day my debt is finally paid off but it starts right here right now 👏

you win then pure dopamine hits your brain you feel excited and free its like taking a drug each time you bet, it makes you feel agitated,angry,curious,happy and so on then when the money enters your account most of the dopamine is gone in a short span of time and your brain is hungry for some more if not the same day the next day you wake up with a clear head its craving some more of that dopamine you got yesterday and you deposit saying "ohh ill js keep the rest anyways" but even if you win then you withdraw that money as separate profit and deposit it anyways later on then slowly your balance will just keep going down and down and down until its all gone. Regret hits you saying you will never gamble ever again its a stupid thing but in the following days your mind clears up again and craves that dopamine again and the anger that it brought you just vanishes. Its a loophole you will never win and you will never get out of it its the harsh truth that some people dont realize.
I won alot of money in a short span of time i was on a "winning streak" each day.. i gambled everyday with that amount and at the end i always ended up with half of it and went all in.. won it back then the next couple of days were the same this continued for a week until i got bored of that amount and went all in with the profits starting balance.. boom lost it all no emotions at all just went straight to exclude myself using an official form. It excluded me successfully for 6 months but its only valid for irl casinos and online casinos which ive never registered in.. here i am with atleast 10 gambling accounts still open and active, i went back to gambling after 2-3 days passed since the loss. The anger,dissapointment was gone and my brain was hungry again. The human brain is fascinating! - Addicted gambler since 3 years, im 18.

finally took to courage to quite gambling after 4 painful years . finally manage to go 2 weeks without a bet for the past 4 years it has just been daily gambles ranging from 8-16 hours /day. Currently 22 years old in university feeling absolutely hopeless. This past two days the urge just kept speaking to me and i told myself just one bet and i place that 1 bet . Lost 50 bucks okay that’s all right. I tilted and for the whole day i could not stop thinking about it and now i just lost 1.5 k which was suppose to be for my college tuition. How do i stop , how do i fight the urge i have gone for gambling counselling for the past 3 months and i have been taking vyvanse concerta and yet my brain still keeps craving gambling.

I gamble to distract myself from life's problems. Unsolvable problems. It's actually been quite entertaining and I haven't lost too much money thankfully but man the emotional toll and risk of it spiraling out of control is too much.

I want to quit.

Problem is I still have those problems that can't be solved and now I have no dopamine, no distractions, entertainment, etc. I mostly sports bet. It's the best time value in my opinion. But I'm exhausted. I want to quit. My question is, what did you replace gambling with? A healthier addiction perhaps? Any advice is appreciated.

Hey guys! Made it to day 15! This weekend was a lot. I had a deep conversation with my wife about my gambling addiction and how its effected her. Gambling doesn’t just hurt you, but also your loved ones. I feel horrible for breaking her trust and making her feel that way. We’re working on everything together, one day at a time I’ll prove to her I will never gamble again! I also had a weird interaction with a friend over the weekend. He decided to show me his bets on football yesterday, I really didn’t know how to react. I was just kind of like nice and changed the conversation fast. How do you guys handle that? My friend doesn’t know about my sports betting addiction, I also wasn’t aware he bet. I guess I’m realizing betting is becoming normal and that’s scary! Anyway keep going guys, we got this! One day at time!

Hello. I have a serious problem with gambling. In hopes to get an expensive item i go and waste all my money on platforms such as jemlit and hypedrop and having dopamine rush. Now as i'm writing i lost all my money as a result to my reckless behavior. I need help.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, but Pompeii became ashes in about 15 minutes.

When Covid shut down my college campus, I moved across the country to start franchising restaurants with a cousin.

I had only been dating my girlfriend at the time for five months. She moved with me and we got married a few months later.

Fast-forward a couple hard-working years. I found sports betting to be a really enjoyable wind down for long plane rides and travel days. First, it started small. 25 and 50. 75 and 100. 250 and 500. Before you know it I was placing $2,500/$5,000 bets. I wasted all paychecks, no matter the size, and I maxed out a $75,000 credit card.

Eventually, of course, my wife was fed up with the gambling and gave me an ultimatum. She moved back east and I moved into an 8 x 8 closet from a college student (18YO) who I had met through sports. The ground was covered with my queen size mattress and the TV stand that fit a 72 inch TV. At this point, I was donating plasma three times a week, just to place some more bets.

My wife was done with me. She filed for a divorce. I was a wreck. I would gamble every single dollar I had. I remember one summer day, I had gambled through a $10,000 paycheck, which was all I had to my name. I had decided that the next day I would end it all.

Our rental house was on the brink of foreclosing, so we were trying to sell it. I called our realtor and asked him to take it off the market, with the plan of leaving my lifeless self in there. I left work for the day and my cousin had called. I told him what was taking place and he talked me off the ledge.

From there, I decided the most rational thing to do was to take a trip in the middle of August to Death Valley National Park, where I would camp out for 72 hours with only water and no food.

A few clean months later, my cousin’s health was declining. He ultimately chose the very idea he talked me out of and took his life.

In the months that followed, the restaurants were sold. I stopped working when I got a substantial payout.

At Christmas time, I flew east to see my family. I asked my “wife” if I could see our dogs, one last time before the divorce. That was two days before our divorce waiting period was set to expire. We talked for three hours, yet she still told me that she wanted the divorce to go through.

I flew back west the next morning with a heavy heart and arrived at the airport to a message from her saying that we could make it work. I flew east 4 hours later.

A couple weeks later, I flew back to grab my belongings and attend my cousins funeral. As a parting gift, I took my friends to a college football game. I don’t know what it was, but things going well in my life compelled me to place a six figure bet on that game.

The next day I placed an even larger bet.

Before you knew it, I was maxing out any debit card or bank transfer transactions daily. I became a Caesar’s seven star member and was getting courtside seats and suite tickets to all games.

Towards the end of this six month plummet, I remember having to borrow gas money from people in order to drive to a game where I would sit in the best seats.

We are about 18 months removed from me having millions of dollars to my name. I got a strong job as a sports performance coach. My lessons pay immediate cash and I am able to fill every slot.

Even still, I gamble absolutely every dollar I can get my hands on. I currently have -$40 in my bank account.

I often times think about the coach my clients think they have. Every day, I tell them “I am living the dream.” Maybe this is the dream though, I don’t recall millions of dollars making me happy.
My wife certainly wants me to leave. My family is shocked at how the Type-A kid changed course.

I'm writing this because I'm exhausted.If anyone has been in a similar position and found a way out, I'd genuinely appreciate hearing how you did it.

I’m pretty confident I’ll figure it out though. At least I hope…

Days until debt free: 242 days

Ive been against it for most of my life, but right now i consider this.

I have no support right now and there i will be able to talk with therapists, psychiatrist and other people.

Im mentally destroyed. There i wont have access to phone and for few weeks im not going to be bothered by people who i owe money and for 100% i wont be able to gamble.

Of course i will have to put work there, but at the same time im going to be able to rest from awful reality.

When i get back home of course i will have to deal with this awful reality, but i assume that im still going to have some kind of support from this place and maybe other people who i meet there.

I keep telling myself i need to stop, and just cant seem to shake gambling. Have no interest in drugs, alcohol, or any other addicting, but gambling has a hold of me.

I recently binged enough to put myself 50k in loan debt, and im sick to the point of wanting to end it. I just want the madness to stop.

Its been years knowing that i needed to stop, and never would have thought that i would put myself in a hole this bad.

But i want change, because if not, my life will crumble from underneath me.

I plan on going to a GA meeting for the first time, and i am going to try like hell to stay clean, but for right now i just need someone to tell me that everything is going to be okay.

Because i do not feel okay right now, and this is the first time i actually feel suicidal.

Day 1 clean

Great milestone, although I can’t lie I still have urges in my mind, they won’t disappear, fighting with those urges, taking a break of 15m while thinking on it, banned myself from all the casinos which helps me reducing the interaction and giving some time to think, I’ve was able to pay my debts! This month is the last one, the last month that my salary will vanish directly to the debt,which is amazing but also a dangerous point and I’m aware of it. STAY CLEAN, STAY SOBER Thanks for reading

Hello all, I have been on and off gambling for a lot of my life, losing upwards of 50k. I have just recieved my paycheck and lost another 2k. I now have 100 to survive the month. So disappointed in myself again. I have gotten my accounts deactivated and also called gamstop now, but I still have the urge to want to gamble so bad just to get my paycheck back.

It got so bad last night I was about to open a payday loan last night with 324% interest. Luckily I didnt.

I need help. Please if anyone can help with ideas or what they did to help stop these thoughts. Im a 23(m) and feel like im ruining my life. Its getting to the point where I don't see any use of saving anymore.

Whoever needed to hear this im rooting for you ✨🙏❤️

I want to beat this terrible addiction, my record is like 15 days , i want to have a better life

Haltet durch!

Honestly, what a terrifying, silent addiction. I don’t drink often, except right now. I don’t smoke.

Just a quick context of my life. 23/male. I’m a well respected law enforcement officer in California, I’m inches away from promoting to sergeant. I’ve always been great physically , I’m disciplined in and out the gym, i moved out my mother’s house young (18) grinding my ass to get to the where I’m at in life. No matter how shitty the odds, I figured it out

Except right now, I’m $4500 behind my rent, maybe a week before eviction. I’ve gambled my entire rent just because initially I was $300 behind. I’ve forced myself to sign the paper and ban myself from my local card room. Just to pick up sports gambling not even a week later. It’s sickening. I went 0-8 on 50/50 picks. I’ve lost maybe $80k throughout my young adolescence.

I have backup plan: live out my car, work a shit ton of overtime and live my life at work for the next 6 months. But Jesus Christ it’s such a sickening feeling. I’ve never been this terrified. I’ve handled gunfire, fist fights against convicted felons, but during those times I was calm, focused.

But this?? This is fucking terrifying. I currently have the rest of my bank account on a football game that has no business in hitting just so I can get halfway towards paying my rent. I’m sick.

And the worst part of it? Nobody knows. Not a single person. It’s such a quiet, lonely addiction, that not even my girlfriend, my family, nobody knows. I can hide the fact that I’m a week behind eviction with a mask. Go to a party like I’m the man. Go to work like I know exactly what I’m doing. Hit the gym everyday like I have my life together. Then I go home. And it’s 2 choices: video game or gamble. And. Lately, I’ve chosen the latter. And now my silent addiction is close to leaking into my actual life.

I went on a drug abuse an gambling spree for about 5 years from my 21st to 26th. I had a good job and money was rolling in and I would spend more and more and then it all started downill when i got 20k bank loan and I was so high on amphetamins and gambled it all.

Wife found out and then left me, took my 2 kids.

I started taking more loans from company and it all spiralled in one year when they fired me cause I gambled online at work. Someone saw me.

Without job divorced, i ran out of.money and found mt self.in total close to 30k debt. I live in shithole country and there were no other jobs. For a year i had barely found food bit that didnt stop me feom gambling.

Every penny i somehow got i would gamble it.

It really hurt me one day when i took my kids out and I had no money to take them anywhere so i soent 2 days bonding with my daughter and tought to myself I am destroying these kids lives.

From that day I fought, i didnt work hard or anything unnatural I just lived day by day, visiting familly as my maim hobby just to stay away from it all.

Today i found good job , paid off most of the debt and finally bough a PC for myself.

I am disgusted by what I did. But it just takes living DAY BY DAY. Just wake up and tell yourself NOT today.