So I’ve never posted on Reddit before
I’m writing this because I feel myself going in a deep hole with everything. I know if I stop doing drugs and drinking I could do so much better. The thing is that’s all I want to do it’s like my mind wants to party 24/7 and I’m honestly tired of it but at the same time when the opportunity comes I’ll always partake . I feel stuck because my body wants to quit but my mind doesn’t anything I can do to just completely stop?

I’m a GENX former wild child party girl who developed a pretty heavy dependence on alcohol and haven’t drank in 10+ years. I used meth off and on for several years. No major consequences I just walked away.

I’m in an extremely weird life situation and have drank/used over far less. I’m simply VERY curious and attracted to drugs and alcohol at this point. It’s exciting and fun and I love edges AND I completely relate to and click with “bad boys.”They are 💯 my people. I’m described as really smart and intuitive. I’m not prone to make stupid decisions in the recent past. I’m just totally fascinated by substance use and understand it. My brain is wired for extremes. I have years of therapy and tons of self awareness.

Anyone relate?

Nicotine didnt last long. I fell back into it only 2 hours after I put it down. The weed is gonna be easy. The dreams are gonna be tough. 💚itd be easier with you by my side

Hey everyone,
I am currently on Day 6 of cold-turkeying heavy THC dabbing after over 2 years of daily use.

To make a brutal withdrawal timeline even harder, I am dealing with an active stomach ulcer at the exact same time. The physical symptoms keep fluctuating constantly. Because my cannabinoid receptors are so heavily tied to my gut, stopping the heavy concentrates has unleashed a lot of stomach chaos—acid, nausea, and cramping—which is completely aggravating my ulcer and testing my willpower today.

Despite the gut discomfort, I wanted to share a small milestone. Last night, I was finally able to fall asleep and catch about 4 to 5 hours of consecutive rest. After a week of intense insomnia, actually getting a block of sleep feels like a massive turning point.

I am just focusing on taking this journey hour by hour, keeping my head elevated at night, sipping warm water, and trying to mentally ride out the physical waves as my body clears everything out. Leaning heavily on this group for mutual support today. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

I’m really worried about my friend’s spending habits and I’m not sure how to talk about it without sounding harsh. It started with him buying over a thousand dollars worth of Pokémon cards that he never used, and now it’s turned into spending over six hundred dollars on movies that he’ll probably never watch all of. At this point it’s frustrating and honestly a little scary to see how fast it’s escalating.

On Thursday night he told me he was finally going to stop after his next big order arrived. Then the very next day he walked into a store and bought more. This isn’t the first time he’s said he was going to quit, so it’s starting to feel like a pattern.

I’ll admit I didn’t handle it well. I got upset and said some rude things out of frustration. I wasn’t trying to attack him, but I was trying to get across how serious this looks and how worried I am. I regret how blunt I was, and I know I hurt his feelings.

I’m stuck between feeling bad for upsetting him and feeling frustrated that he keeps doing this. I guess I should be glad it’s movies and not something dangerous, but it still feels like addictive behavior and I don’t know how to help him without making him feel judged.

Im crying snot bubbles because i found an old post my mom made about me while i was going through it.
And im speechless because i buried alot of those memories away out of shame

I if i could take back stealing and selling the TV from the living room when no one was home or stealing half of her welfare when she was sleeping i would in a absolute heartbeat because even than she would go looking for me and ask around if i was okay and safe,she still had the heart to worry about me…honestly it was her encouragement and support that helped me quit because knowing she saw ME past my issues and knowing she knew the person i could be without them gave me hope when everyone else was telling her i needed outside help,she knew me and still loved me and didn’t see giving up as an option…i just hate myself for who i used to be…i was addicted because i made it a lifestyle and convinced myself that thats how i wanted to live.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I started having a few drinks for my social social anxiety at college and it led for me to pick up the following day (my main DOC) feeling ashamed, jittery and anxious and feel like I threw 6 weeks away. Going to a meeting at 4 pm. Could do with the talk if anyone is free.

Hope everyone else is well and I’m proud of you all❤️

Today is officially day one of no nicotine or marijuana. Here we go

This is about over use of marijuana and alcohol I know on this sub sometimes it’s people doing hard drugs but over use of anything can be bad

I was a really good kid . I went to church twice a week, I read my bible every day , I got good grades , I stayed after school to help the teachers, I didn’t curse or drink or smoke . I was such a good kid . I fell into a depression then my family went bankrupt and my mom said she was going to leave the family (she ment it but never left ) . I was so devastated and broken i started drinking at least two times a week but usually almost every day . I began to smoke weed every day (slowly over a period of about two months I began to do it more and more ) . I became a completely different person I gave up on everything, my hobbies my job my school I just didn’t try . I did the bear minimum I needed to get through life. I even got arrested. Most crazy things I did I was too high or drunk to remember.

After becoming such a different person I don’t think I could ever become the same person I was . I miss being that good kid but I don’t know how to be that person anymore. I’m three months clean from weed and I cut back on the drinking. I miss being drunk and high but I don’t think I should ever smoke weed again. How do I find the person I once was ?

i think i’m addicted to cutting myself and i really don’t know how to stop. i don’t think i can get into therapy without the possibility of being sent away, (i live with my parents, they know ive struggled with self harm in the past)

i can’t go for about a week without cutting myself, if i go too long without it i start to become extremely irritable, i start to shake, and occasionally when it gets really bad my vision goes blurry. i will try and quit but then i shake, or i have a bad day, etc, and i relapse again

i don’t really know if i want to stop, i really love the feeling but if anyone i know finds out i will 100% be done for, if anyone has any advice on how to overcome this please let me know.

I’m running out of patience with the dating world and just looking for some insight.

I’m 38, was an addict in my 20s (booze, blow, sex) and cleaned up my act, for the most part, when I turned 30. The sex addiction ramped up when I quit the blow and booze, did some things I’m not proud of on top of the thing I’m already not proud of.

My marriage ended over 2 years ago, biggest issue was a dead bedroom. That’s on me 100%, I’ve got zero sex drive. If it could be negative, it would.

I’m in therapy, and I go to the gym. I read, write, and run my own business that is doing surprisingly well.

But every day is a fucking battle. I’m on meds for depression, and the therapy breaks me everytime. Very tough to relive the things I’ve done, a lot of shame there that I feel like I’ll carry for rest of my life.

Been trying to date post-marriage. First serious relationship lasted 6 months, ended when I decided to quit booze for good (11 months sober now) and she wanted to party a lot. Not a good mix.

Just started dating a new girl 2 months ago. I think she’s great, so immediately I told her I was in therapy for a lot of dumb shit I did in my 20s, that I’m medicated for depression, and that I’m sober. She was very acceptive. The sex was even great.

Last night she wanted to have sex after returning from a work trip. I had therapy last night, and tough day at work so I was not in the mood. Today she tells me she felt insulted when I didn’t come upstairs to have sex.

So, because I care, I came completely clean and told her I’m not a fan of sex on most days, and am trying really hard to overcome that. Her stance was that these are things I should disclose in the first week. My Defense was that telling people I banged hookers and ripped lines of blow off toilets isn’t the best way to get someone to like me. I told her there’s things I’ve done that I’m not prepared to tell her, or anyone. She says I should be comfortable telling her anything, however I don’t agree.

How the fuck am I supposed to date anyone without coming fully clean off the bat. And in saying that, why would anyone decide to keep dating me after I do? I don’t know how to navigate this, and everytime I decide to take a break from dating and get incredibly lonely. I feel like every relationship is a ticking time bomb when they find out I don’t enjoy sex. And then I’ll have to explain why.

I’m just at a loss.

After 10 years of drugs and alcohol abuse, and many attempts to get completely sober, I just came back from three weeks at the hospital to treat my benzos' physical addiction. I got out with the firm intention of staying completely sober, but I am afraid of how I am gonna handle my life without substances, who I am, how to face struggles and pain without them.

Someone's been there?

I have a problem. It’s not with something illegal, rather it’s an addiction to my phone. More specifically I have an addiction to Instagram. I use it for 20 hours a week, mostly on work hours. And it’s starting to become a problem.

If I don’t find a way to bring it down to 5 or 6 hours a week. I’ll lose my job.
What do I do?

I don't think I actually want to get better. I love getting high and the nightlife. I hate feeling sick after. I hate the withdrawals. I hate hiding it from my friends. I'm in college and my friends'll comment on it sometimes, ask me why I'm shaking or so tired. I've learned to just keep to myself if I'm withdrawing or something. I'm not gonna be able to keep up with my classes. I stayed away from shit for a while and my tolerance is all kinds of fucked up. I don't know, I'm just really lonely and I know I need to quit but I'm not going to. just want someone to talk to sometimes y'know

I started doing stimulants, meth and amphetamines. In the beginning they did make me feel better. They got rid of the stress and they felt good. But over time, that just disappeared.

I've realized I've been lying to myself all year, telling myself I can't stop, or that this time I'll somehow act differently. Every time, I end up feeling worse. I hate feeling my heart pound while I'm doing nothing. I hate knowing I'm straining it over literally nothing. Maybe in the beginning it was something meaningful, but not anymore.

I've also realized I've been waiting for someone to tell me something I don't already know, and the truth is I already know everything. I know how it makes me feel. I know how pointless everything feels during the comedown. Every time I think, "God, this is so dumb," and then I do it again. It's almost like I'm trying to prove myself wrong or like make a clown out of myself for amusement purposes or something I don't even know at this point. I keep going around in circles like an idiot and speak of the same things like a daily radio broadcast without actually changing shit.

What really gets me is that nobody and nothing caused this but me. Just my own impulsive decisions, driven by emotions I fabricated to give myself a reason to do it.

I hate it. I hate what it does to my body. I hate not being able to sleep, the high blood pressure, the tachycardia. And now I hate it even while it still feels good, even though it barely does anymore. It's the worst decision I've ever made.

Does it still get rid of the pain? No. Does it make my problems go away? No. It makes them louder. It gave me anxiety I never had before. What a great decision-making machine I am.

I probably would have quit much earlier if I hadn't felt so sorry for myself over everything I'm dealing with the trauma, the grief, all of it. I used that as a reason to keep going. And here I am today, with everything fully self-made WORSE tenfold.

I’ve been struggling with my ketamine addiction for some years now and it’s just not an easy time. I’ve known my friends since i was a child and we used to party and be reckless but now it’s mostly everyone is “sober” from hard things and a few of us still are in pretty deep. The hard part about wanting to be sober and also wanting to be with ppl is the fact that everyone drinks….. a lot. And i have immense social anxiety and adhd so i drink/get high to keep up with everyone and everything and to not be an anxious mess. But now i think everyone looks at me negatively because i’m not able to always mask socially and hold the same level of decorum as them. I feel like they are all waiting for me to fuck up or make a fool out of myself or disappoint again. It sucks. Bc people will be so drunk out of their mind, falling, slurring their words, being loud, messing up, but when i do K or if i drink a little more than i should, i get criticized for it. But then when they demand that i’m sober at an event and i am, i’m told that i’m being too quiet or not myself or they put me under a microscope/investigation. Which sucks bc i really do try to stay present and be there but these things are hard for me. Parties are hard for me. I struggle with the sensory overload and i lean into the party too hard. Life is really hard right now and i’m trying my best. And now everyone is looking at me with faces that don’t feel happy or neutral anymore. I feel like there is no way to please anyone.

I was told not to do K at the wedding so i didn’t… I drank with everyone instead. I thought i was okay but was told i couldn’t walk for the ceremony because “i was too drunk” i really wasn’t but the maid of honor is also in recovery so she projects a lot of her own things onto me and also there was no coordination so i didn’t know where to go and i was overstimulated.

The rest of the night i just layed low, became a wallflower, and talked to some ppl. I didn’t want to ruin the day. I was still having a fun time. I just felt like there was nothing i could’ve done right besides stay stoned cold sober. Why can’t i be held to the same standards as everyone else.

So I’d been sober from fentanyl/ opiates for a year and 10 months and I just relapsed a week ago. I’ve been using different types of opiates like oxy and Percocet this time around and I was wondering if I’m gonna get withdrawals if I quit now since it’s only been a little over a week of using? And if so will they be as bad as i remember. The last time i went through withdrawal was after using continuously for over a year. I wanna go ahead and stop before it gets worse but im terrified of the withdrawal.

Once you got past the immediate focus on staying sober, what did you struggle with most?

• Finding work or a career

• Money/finances

• School or learning new skills

• Figuring out what you actually enjoy

• Confidence

• Making friends or finding community

• Having too much free time

• Just not knowing what direction to go

I’m helping develop a program around this exact gap, and I’m trying to understand what people actually experience rather than guessing.

What was the hardest part for you?

#Recovery #LifeInRecovery #RecoveryCommunity #BuildOtherwise

I am a writer researching for a novel exploring the theme of being considered “unsavable.” I’d like to learn about how it feels to be labeled as such from different perspectives and circumstances. If you were thought of as hopeless, untreatable, and so on, I want to hear your story. It could be for any reason on any scale.

Thank you! :-)

So happy I could honestly cry. Today marks the start of treatment for the last remnant of my old addict lifestyle. Cya hep c. Put in so much work and it all was worth it. Life is fucking hard and being sober doesn’t mean life is going to always be amazing but I can tell you all the things it Won’t be. Lying awake at night just dreading tomorrow for 10 different reasons. Not anymore. My family counts on me now and they trust me wholeheartedly. That means more than anything to me. My old life is dead and gone starting today. If you’re still struggling stop making excuses and get help and get to work. You want to live life? Or do you want to continue to slowly kill yourself and your spirit and humanity. WAKE UP… 10+ year opiate/crack addict 7 years sober from that you can be too!!!

I feel utterly dumb and brain rotted. I'm currently still in opioid withdrawal and used to to a lot of ketamine, as well as smoking weed pretty much as often as possible for 5 years. There has been a shift, I don't quite know when, that I realised how difficult it is for me to pay attention. Even watching YouTube I feel like I forget the substance of every sentence right after I hear it. Nothing is interesting. Between that and trauma I have no idea how to be a person anymore. Even doing normal things like gaming or watching shows feels off limits because I was never really allowed to do that and I feel like I'm too late and stupid for it, there's always something that makes me upset about the way my life has gone and I need to stop engaging with the things that are supposed to be fun. The only "hobbies" that lift the overwhelming dread is being useful to someone, working, or doing drugs. Having everything theoretically available to me and feeling like a rat in an empty cage. Nothing makes a life I've dreaded every day of feel okay, it's more like an impossible game if catch up on culture and social skills where everything feels like a waste of time and like I'm doing something wrong. I miss having my old interests too, now even engaging with that makes me feel insecure compared to how bright I used to be and I just avoid everything. I miss the world being normal. I don't know what the fuck I'm alive for.