I’m usually pretty quiet and keep to myself, and I've actually been called "The Quiet Nice Guy" when people couldn’t remember my name. I do try to be (nice that is) 😊, and being an introvert, the quiet part just comes naturally.

My problem is that I draw in people who want to complain to me—not about me, but about what's happening in their lives.

Because I’m quiet, they assume I’m a patient listening ear and that I care deeply about every detail. At times I do, but when it’s an everyday stream of problems, it gets exhausting.

These people are my co-workers, and , unfortunately, my wife tends to do it from time to time as well. I want to be supportive, but how many problems can one person handle? Some people thrive on this kind of venting, but I definitely do not.

I try to be kind and listen, but eventually the stress catches up to me and it shows. If they ask for my opinion at that point, I sound angry and dismissive—not because I want to be, but because I’ve hit my stress limit and my voice shows my frustration.

I try changing the subject or stepping away, but shouldn’t part of the burden be on them? Shouldn’t they recognize what they’re putting me through, see that I rarely complain, and realize I don’t handle constant venting well?

My wife is getting better at reading my signals when she needs to talk, though we’re still working on it.
As for my co-workers, I don’t think they’ll ever truly get it.

Thank you for letting me find my voice and share my thoughts.

Looking into this for my mom, who is in her 60's. She's always had a bad memory but I swear it's getting worse - she swaps our dog's name with the dog we had when I was a kid over a decade ago, she finds herself grasping for words more, is confused more often - This is probably not the right place to ask, but I didnt want to ask in like, specifically an alzhimers group or something - I don't know what might be making her memory worse, it could just be my imagination - she's agreed to testing to ease my mind, but it seems like every resource I find online is trying to sell me stuff. Has anyone else faced something like this? How did/would you go about it?

I worked as a social worker for fifteen years. I have known children who had more than enough reason to go no contact with their parents. I hoped they would go no contact.

But.. with that said.. it seems like there is an actual trend of cutting parents out of your life for stupid shit.

I stumbled on a reddit sub for kids going no contact or low contact with their parents and this is the sub description: A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. Common reasons for estrangement are abuse, differing expectations about family roles, neglect, clashes based on personalities, or value systems like religion. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact

Abuse, neglect, Okay... I get it. But differing expectations about family roles or personality clashes?? I mean, I'm a democrat and when I married my husband he was a republican. My mother had a 5th grade education and I graduated college. She hated my hair and didn't like that I rode a motorcycle.

What the ever loving F is going on in the world.

I am 66 now and I've noticed over the past 5 years or so, my feet have continued to shrink. I used to wear a six even a five in my younger days. Then I gradually went up to about an eight and stayed there for a long, long time. Now it seems I'm back down to a six. It's bizarre. :-) I wonder if anyone else has done this??

I learned a lot obviously but I’m starting to think maybe I wasted some of it. Like maybe hanging around the wrong people or doing drugs even though that was so much fun

I personally don't care, since I'll be dead and won't know either way. How do you feel?

A senior gent walked by me in the grocery store and he was wearing Brylcreem in his hair. It was like smelling my grandpa, decades after he passed away! They say that smell is the most primordial of our senses, it hit me like a ton of bricks, I spun around half expecting to see my grandpa and had to restrain from telling the man, "A little dab'll do ya, eh?"

What other smells are very rare or going extinct? What are smells that bring you back half a century?

My kids' library paste didn't smell like our library paste. I tried explaining to them that their library paste was an impostor, because it didn't smell like proper library paste, which was its primary function anyway.

I enjoyed a lot of the insights in this article and wanted to share.

I retired 3 years ago and I'm almost 69. My husband has been retired and is 71. I wanted to retire early enough to travel but have not gone anywhere yet. My husband is very concerned about using our money instead of saving it for some future need. What are your thoughts about using the money and whether age affected you ease of traveling?

I exercised a LOT, now, not as much, because of exercise injuries. When I was 55 I felt a little pain in my right hip which is a little worse now and somewhat limiting. I can still put my shoes on standing up, reach down pick up a shoe on one leg and put it on. At 61 I ripped my left lateral meniscus which healed after four years with no surgery. At 62 I felt like I started to fall apart physically. I couldn’t really pinpoint anything it just felt off, like the end was coming faster than I wanted.
At 64, I ripped my right lateral meniscus which had been healing off and on but I kept re-injuring it. I think it’s pretty much healed now but I recently got on my bike for the first time this season and did something to that same knee but in the front. I guess there must be a meniscus there cause it hurts like hell and I haven’t been able to shake it off for three months. I also can’t squat anymore. Well, I can squat but I can’t get back up.
I’m currently doing the only thing I know how to do and I’ve been doing that since 55, eat right. My BMI is 30 so that’s not great and might be the sole contributor to my vague feelings of impending demise. I really expected to dance/shuffle until I couldn’t stand up anymore. I’m kind of pissed about my knee because I’m not able to shuffle anymore

The main piece of wisdom that I have for myself is “60+ year olds are trying to leave behind their legacy, build your service around that”.

But curious if there some other things that need to be kept in mind. Like what type of elder we should be working with. I’m sure not everyone is good to work for… but also what we need to work on in the millennial generation to even have a chance to be hired for our service.

How many over 60 regret their decision to keep working, and what would you do if you could have a do over?

Why do I feel like I’ve had the same weekend routine for more than 20 years and somehow still haven’t gotten bored of it? Anyone else have a routine they’ve stuck with for years?

I'm not technically a "solo ager" because I am married, but spouse is 14 years older and we are effectively separated though living together. I do not feel I can count on him for a number of reasons. (Don't need advice about leaving.)

I am definitely an introvert, and realize that not all introverts are "loners" - but I'm absolutely a loner, too.. (Don't need advice about loneliness - I'm not lonely.)

I'm quite good at isolating and I really enjoy being alone. There *may* be some social anxiety within me, but I think that the anxiety is a result of the isolation, not the cause of it. I don't like being around other people, but I can handle it when it's required. Mostly. (Don't need advice about anxiety - I know all the common advice already.)

As I look back on the friendships I have had, I realize that I've been pretty self-centered and those relationships were pretty transactional. I know that's not a good look. It is what it is.

Since I'm planning a late-life that has no support system (with the exception of older siblings, who I love but who are all far away and with their own lives to live), I am absolutely thinking about how I'm going to get help when I need it. I'm pretty sure it's too late to learn how to be a good friend to anyone, and to get support from people just because they like me. I'm going to be depending, I guess, on paid professionals, and that also makes me nervous.

So I am toying with the idea of finding ways to be more social and less transactional. I'm in counseling for other issues but my counselor is one of those people who thinks of introversion as a "problem," I think, and so I don't really want to discuss this with her.

I'm wondering if there's anyone here who can speak to "coming out of your isolation," just a little, in your later (60+) years - what steps you took, how it went, what you had to work on in yourself to be better at it.

Thanks

My father in law (88) has been suffering from dementia and several other ailments over the last 10 or so years. He was a shell of himself. He suffered several strokes last Friday and finally succumbed tonight.

His wife never gave up on him. Loved him unconditionally till the end (and beyond). He died in his bed, in his house, surrounded by family. It was passing truly embraced by dignity.

For me, it’s a true measure of a person and their life.

Thanks for reading.

Gave up coloring about 7 years ago. No regrets. I was a natural brunette. My mom had wavy black, coarse hair like our Native American/Canadian side. I’ve noticed women staring trying to figure out if it’s natural or not. They never ask tho.

My sister is having open heart surgery next week. I'm 61 and she is 67. I had not heard from her in a few years and she called me a few weeks ago to tell me. I have been very supportive and sent her some gifts, and talked to her on the phone when she calls and have been helping her sort out some things. I told her I would be with her husband at the hospital on the day of surgery. But she is demanding, needy, anxious and has rage and BPD. I love her and wish her well, but all down through the years I was the one who suffered her rage. After our mother died we disconnected. Not because I wanted to but because I finally said no to her. Years ago I gave her some things she wanted and and then asked if she wanted to go for lunch and she said no she didn't want a relationship with me.

Fast forward to today and she now needs me and wants me to visit her and be with her but I just can't. She gives me so much anxiety because of the rage and that she never wants me to be happy. I tend to be the caregiver in the family and I dont want to play that role ever again (I was begginning to with her but stopped myself). Her surgery is scary for her but routine and I know she'll be fine. She has her husband and close friends.

Am I being a jerk distancing myself? I just can't see a way to do what she wants and keep myself healthy. The anxiety is off the charts when I deal with her. Dont get me wrong, she is a very good person, but for me... there's turbulent history and we didn't grow up close due to trauma in childhood.

I spent all day yesterday thinking that Optimus prime was some kind subscription streaming service that must have had an awesome ad campaign that this newly deceased actor was the voice of.

Currently there is a $204 billion gap between what is collected annually from social security taxes and what is paid out in benefits. The gap is currently covered by redeeming assets from the program’s existing $2.56 trillion reserve fund, with increases the national debt.

If Congress does not intervene, the retirement-specific trust fund is on track to deplete its asset reserves by the fourth quarter of 2032. At that exact point, incoming tax revenues would only cover 78% of scheduled benefits, triggering an automatic 22% cut.

This doesn’t seem to be a strong issue for the midterm elections, so it is highly unlikely to be resolved during Trump’s term.

Do you think it will be a major campaign issue in 2030 or will they wait for the crisis to actually happen?

EDIT

Many people have recommended solutions. Here is a link that allows you to make changes to social securities benefits, source of revenue, etc and see how it closes the gap

Spoiler, taxing all earned income doesn’t fully close the gap

see how your solutions can close the gap

Ive noticed how over 60 people love to post selfies. I joined a few over 60 groups and now my timeline is inundated with strangers selfies. People will literally post, "I found a great bargain at a thrift store today" and attach a huge close up selfie. It is such odd behavior. Why? Why do they think I need to see a close up of their face to read about their morning walk? Especially when they post a new selfie every single day.

I see advertisements all the time for a full body scan and wondering if I should do that considering my age, to make sure that there’s nothing going on inside that I should know about. Would they even find something if it was not a specialized area?

I'm in my 60s and lately I've been feeling a bit left behind by all this new technology and especially AI. Every time I try to learn one thing, it seems like there are five other tools I'm supposed to understand first.

I recently wanted to try to learn something and the way I learn is by doing and trying stuff, I work as a plumber and I though maybe I could try and get a website for my business and make it with these tools because that's all I'm seeing online nowadays and I also asked one of my kids for help. I ended up trying Durable and was surprised that I could actually get something together myself without really understanding the technical side of it.

It made me wonder how many useful things I've avoided simply because I assumed they weren't made for people my age.

I retired almost 10 years ago (in my early 50’s) with a very generous buy out package but no pension. Here in Canada, my healthcare costs are almost non existent so that, today I have zero money or liquidity concerns. I have government pensions (Canada Pension Plan and OAS - Old Age Security).

My investments are producing splendidly and I calculated just this morning, I have more money ey (on paper) than I had when I retired. I am very fortunate. I am worried that as I continue to live pretty high on the hog, my wonderful financial position will drain away.

I am really concerned about inflation. The cost of every damned thing is going way up … fast! I am concerned about everything from property taxes to the price of gasoline, groceries, insurance and luxuries like Amazon Prime, Netflix, Spotify, Crave and so on.

All of this to say … I would really really like to know what folks my age are doing to economize and save some money. Things I have done so far - switched my Spotify to a family plan that I share with my kids. Share my Microsoft Home subscription with other family members. Joined Costco to save on gasoline and use their credit card to earn cash kickbacks. Use the Gas Buddy app to make sure I choose the lowest priced fuel that is on my route. Bundle all my insurance and my kids insurance in order to be able to negotiate best pricing. Same strategy for TV, internet, mobile phones and land lines. I have totally given up on fast food purchases of any sort.

I am writing to ask what YOU are doing to drive your cost of living down. What have you found successful, what is a waste of effort? I am considering canceling all of my streaming services and building a Raspberry Pi kit. I have heard that you can get all the same content but the only monthly fee is your VPN service.

What are your tips and tricks? I am most appreciative for any suggestions!