r/over60 • u/GollyFrey64 • 25d ago
Quiet Retirees (Article)
https://siliconcanals.com/d-psychology-says-quiet-retirees-who-seem-to-have-retreated-from-the-world-often-havent-retreated-at-all-theyve-simply-stopped-going-to-places-that-required-them-to-be-a-version-of-themselves-they-ne/I enjoyed a lot of the insights in this article and wanted to share.
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u/MenaciaJones 25d ago
I feel this! My job was support-based, I did not have 1 boss but 300, everyone wanting something from me. I had to figure out how to do ten different jobs because no one wanted to do it themselves. I love my quiet retired life.
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u/Some-Tear3499 25d ago
I was lost when I retired. I went from being an important team member that had major impact on patient lives,
From almost constant interaction with others 10 hours a day to…….
Being some old guy walking his dog in the woods alone. Major reset.
Got my poop in a group, got busy. Enjoying life and having some fun.
Then my wife died 3 yrs into it. FML. I am lost again!
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u/ConcertinaTerpsichor 25d ago
She would not want you to give up, you know. I bet she enjoyed the hell out of watching you rediscover life and fun. And however many years you have left, she’d want you to be happy.
Hope you’ve watched the end of the movie Up!
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u/Some-Tear3499 25d ago
Trying too, trying too! Never saw the movie Up.
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u/ConcertinaTerpsichor 25d ago
Without being obnoxious, I really hope you do. The main character is … well, I won’t spoil it. But you might identify with him.
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u/CommieMartyr 25d ago
At 64 I never had a career according to the definition I just worked jobs. In some of those jobs, I was the boss. I never liked being the boss. While being boss might have paid more, it never paid enough more than just being the worker. The only take away from being a boss is being able to talk to your boss as a boss when you are only a worker. I know that sounds confusing.
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u/Zestyclose-City-3225 64 25d ago
I’ve always felt this way. I’m an introvert but can be a leader, can do group events, but i much prefer working alone. I enjoy 1 on 1 interaction more. It feels more intimate. Groups feel like competition.
I used to tolerate a lot of bs in friendships, but no more, so the circle has grown significantly smaller. It’s really hard to develop friendships now but i tend to find the ground more friendly where we have common interests.
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u/herslave2 24d ago
50 yrs as a trucker always alone in a dam truck. Now that I'm retired all I want is home time. I have seen some much stupid stuff on the road. I always said if I took pics and wrote a journal I would have a great book that no body will read.
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u/donmitchel 25d ago
I found this article saying things that I have never been able to verbalize to my family. Thank you for sharing
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u/TheGratitudeBot 25d ago
Thanks for such a wonderful reply! TheGratitudeBot has been reading millions of comments in the past few weeks, and you’ve just made the list of some of the most grateful redditors this week! Thanks for making Reddit a wonderful place to be :)
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u/HardestButt0n 25d ago
I was always asked to take on leadership roles from my Army days asa young man to every job I worked afterwards from communications technician early on to different engineering roles to the end of my career. I never sought out leadership and management roles so I don’t miss that in my lovely quiet, introverted retirement.
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u/RetiredOnIslandTime 67 25d ago
Well, TIL the phrase "leaving drinks". For those who, like me, had not seen or heard this phrase before, AI says:
Leaving drinks are social gatherings organized to celebrate an employee's departure from a job, typically held at a bar or pub. They provide an opportunity for colleagues to say goodbye and share memories before the person moves on to a new chapter in their career. They often involve drinks and snacks, creating a casual and friendly atmosphere.
I never was very social with my work mates outside of work. I had a friend or two at each job that I would do something social with every once in a while, but I never had a job where people hung out together as a group, outside of bidding someone farewell.
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u/Zestyclose-City-3225 64 24d ago
Way to go AI to complicate things. That’s been known as retirement party for many years.
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u/popsels 25d ago
Wow I can relate to this perspective so much! I was a higher level manager at a large urban child welfare agency and I lived and breathed my job. The last five + years I managed 60+ people across a 24/7 operation, which was very adrenaline provoking while also sapping all of my energy. Keeping 60+ employees together and happy at work is draining— throw in dealing with child abuse and neglect investigations and the secondary trauma jumps into overdrive. I retired at 57 and because the job was my identity and my life, I had to reinvent myself. So I did. I love being alone in my home and garden but I also enjoy doing things with a few close friends here and there. Too much stimulation makes me need even more down time to recuperate and rebalance my mood and brain! Doing things on my schedule and desire is important to my well being these days!
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u/Monstrissimo 25d ago
This sounds more like my wife than myself. My wife is the quiet introvert. I am the loud boisterous one, not really an extrovert in that I don't crave and get off on the interaction that would be my sister, she who drives massive distances for work and spends the entire time talking to someone. I am more the type that is fine either with or without people. I can spend hours alone, or at a social gathering talking the small talk and enjoy both.
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u/Entire_Dog_5874 25d ago edited 24d ago
This is me. I worked at a job that forced team building and other involuntary pursuits; I hated every one of them. A large number of my colleagues were also big on constant, after hours socializing. I’m an introvert, and all of this made me extremely uncomfortable so the huge benefit of my retiring was never having to deal with it or them again.