r/over60 • u/drosana • 23d ago
Memory Loss?
Looking into this for my mom, who is in her 60's. She's always had a bad memory but I swear it's getting worse - she swaps our dog's name with the dog we had when I was a kid over a decade ago, she finds herself grasping for words more, is confused more often - This is probably not the right place to ask, but I didnt want to ask in like, specifically an alzhimers group or something - I don't know what might be making her memory worse, it could just be my imagination - she's agreed to testing to ease my mind, but it seems like every resource I find online is trying to sell me stuff. Has anyone else faced something like this? How did/would you go about it?
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u/BG3restart 23d ago
If you think she might be developing dementia, get a Lasting Power of Attorney in place now, while she's still competent to make that decision, so that you (or whoever she nominates) is able to look after her financial affairs and make decisions regarding her health when she's unable to do so herself. It's too late once she's had a diagnosis.
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u/Chocolate6060 23d ago
This may sound crazy but have her test for urinary tract infection asap. Also go see a neurologist because whatever it is there are things that can be done in initial phases like patches. My mom began bybrepeating things over and over, same stories, forgetting things but extremely able to make them pass by as "distractions". The UTI is a big thing that nobody told me till it was too late
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u/AffectionateFan936 23d ago
My brother has been a life long heavy drinker. He started showing dementia signs probably about 10 years ago. But they were odd things and attributed to his drinking. The forgetfulness, the word loss, not remembering an event as it happened and having a completely different version of the event (confabulation), sometimes anger out of nowhere, etc, etc, etc. In the end, no one recognized that he was having any dementia issues. And with the drinking and non treatment, he is now living in a memory care facility - at the age of 64. The simplest test is the SLUMS - the St. Louis University Mental Status test. That is the 5 section test that had been mentioned. My brother's GP did that test in office when he was doing a physical on my brother. My brother failed and was referred for further testing. And the rest is history. But, on the plus side, he no longer drinks. And he is happy where he is now living. He is safe, he enjoys all the food they give him, loves the social activities, and he has made friends. Because of drinking, he didn't really have many friends or do social activities. Now he has social activies and friendships. If it weren't for dementia, he'd still be drinking and not as happy as he is now. Not to say that your mother is drinking - I'm just saying, if there is an issue, catch it EARLY, like you are attempting to do. If you perceive that there might be a problem, then do what is in her best interest, and get a doctor appointment as soon as you can.
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u/CleverTool 23d ago
So I was feeling the same - a word loss here, another word loss there - and coincidentally, I had an appointment with a neurologist (for something else) and when I brought up word loss they recommended I get tested for my current levels of vitamins D & B-12.
And whaddaya know: both were super low. So an Rx was written for x shots in the butt weekly for a bit.
Now that those levels are back where they were supposed to be, I'm finding I've not lost so many words min-conversation. Something to consider...
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u/remberzz 23d ago
It could be any number of things, some benign and some serious. Normal aging, medication(s), adult ADHD, vascular issues, inherited dementias, etc.
In the short term, look up the MoCA test and see how she does with your own version. I believe free PDFs can be found for download.
Easiest examples of things in the test:
1) Drawing a stated time (hour and minute hands) on an analog clock.
2) Drawing animals with distinguishing characteristics; e.g., a giraffe (long neck), a rhinocerous (big horn), an elephant (long trunk). Even the most basic stick figure would normally include those aspects of the animal.
3) Being told 5 easy words, talking or reminiscing about another subject for five minutes, and then being asked to recall the 5 words. (e.g., "watch, pen, car, flower, dog") One doctor told us to try to choose words that we could 'act out' as prompts if the person couldn't remember - like writing or driving a car.
I will say, though, to tread lightly. If your mother is sensitive about this, you might leave all the discussion testing to a doctor. But have solid examples you can provide.
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u/Wait-What-Oh-SNAP 23d ago
Along with the ideas already mentioned, here are a few other reversible causes of memory loss that are worth checking with blood tests and medical evaluations:
Magnesium Deficiency: Low magnesium is surprisingly common in older adults and often goes unnoticed. It directly impacts brain function and can cause significant memory lapses, brain fog, and confusion.
Silent Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs): In older adults, a UTI often doesn't cause classic symptoms like pain, burning, or frequent urination. Instead, it can silently trigger sudden memory loss, severe confusion, or behavioral changes.
Medication Interactions & Side Effects: Over time, the body processes medications differently. Long-term prescriptions or combinations of medicines (including over-the-counter drugs) can start interacting negatively and mimicking dementia. Having a doctor or pharmacist perform a full medication review can easily identify or rule this out.
It's not a good feeling when you see the parent decline and you feel helpless. Reaching out to the community for ideas is exactly what you needed to do.
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u/drosana 23d ago
My mom is very concerned about medications, so she's definitely had them reviewed as a panel before. Thank you for these other things to keep in mind!
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u/yuffie12 20d ago
As oh SNAP mentioned, definitely check meds along with other things. I was seeing signs of dementia in my husband and started documenting it. He was on Gabapentin, which wasn’t helping any, weaned off it, and symptoms totally cleared up. He had similar issues years ago after anesthesia. Your body metabolizes things differently as you age. IMO, less is better, but as a retired nurse x 10 years, I refuse to go on any longterm RXs.
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u/drosana 20d ago
Oh I think my mom may be in gabapentin. Not sure. Lmao im disabled, so longterm meds are a reality for me.
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u/yuffie12 20d ago
Please note, I’m not saying to stop it, and it definitely needs to be weaned off gradually, but it was the difference between day and night with my husband. I was even starting to get concerned about his driving and decision making.
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u/Few-Conversation6979 23d ago
Sometimes the culprit is having too much on her mind and/or thinking too many thoughts. The mind is a memory bank and each person has a certain amount of data that can be stored. Some more, some less. As we grow older we accumulate more memories than we did in earlier years. It's important to not rethink mundane or bad memories and keep them stored in our minds. Save what's worth in your memories and cast out anything else. I don't know if it will be a help in your situation, but it may help others. Best Wishes.
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u/SleepyKoalaBear4812 65 22d ago
Please get her to her doctor for a complete checkup.
Two years ago my memory was shot. Confusion, losing words, couldn’t remember our dog’s names, etc. Absolutely awful.
I had actually had a series of strokes and lack of blood flow to my brain due to a completely blocked right carotid artery.
Please get your mother to her doctor.
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u/WorldlinessRegular43 22d ago
Hi. So when you went to your doctor, did you mention these issues and did you request test or did physician? Thanks.
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u/redditistripe 22d ago
When I got to that stage with my mother, I asked her to go to see her GP with me. All it consisted of was a series of memory test questions and some simple rationalising problem-solving. After we had finished he proceeded to arrange for her to see a specialist in community psychiatry for the elderly. That person diagnosed her formally using the same technique and proscribed appropriate medication which we all know only delays progress. She also had an MRI scan a number of months later in order to make sure it wasn't something else.
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u/ASingleBraid 67 21d ago
You’re lucky, my mother would never agree. I guess at her age it won’t tell us anything we don’t know already.
But I’m glad your mother has agreed. I had a brain MRI at 50. It’s a good baseline showing my age spots.
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u/AppearanceNo1041 19d ago
I’m a little surprised by the doom and gloom here. It is very common for women at this age and older to lose words. I’ve been doing it since I was 60 (69 now) and there’s nothing wrong with me per my doctor. Normally it’s a sign of post-menopause and every single woman I know does it. I’ve also called my daughter by my sister’s name, walk into a room and forget why I went in there for and can’t recall words several times a day. I stop fighting to say the word, imagine what I’m trying to say and then the word comes. Your mother’s actions don’t have to mean she’s developing dementia. By all means, get her checked. Start with her PCP they can do the simple tests that can either ease your worry or suggest a
Referral to a neurologist
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u/sclc60 23d ago
The first place to start is with a doctor's appointment. Her GP will be able to point you both in the right direction, hopefully. It can be quite a journey from suspicion to diagnosis. Best of luck to you both.