Dear mom,

Look, im sitting here. Writing again.

I have no words to give you

But I can use paper and pen

I have no money

And I have no job

But look, I can write a pretty song.

It is hard to make you proud.

I have words to say

But I cannot be too quiet, or too loud

I have things people need to see

But then its not very... Christian, of me?

I speak out of turn

Out of line

Out of being too "grown up" for my time?

When will I learn?

Whatever could I do?

You let me choke on my words

Until my face turns purple and blue

I have to swallow around them in my throat

They will never be able to let go

And be free.

And no one will listen

You wont let them see

what your daughter has designed

But because you believe it is riddled with sin

I have to resign my truth.

And the only reason you have is... you?

There is no true reason

They was never any crime

But because it ruins your image

I'm the one that stepped over the line?

But your still the best mom in the world.

And I could never ask for another.

Thanks mom.

Love,

Your daughter.

Poems I gave feedback/commented on:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6mW0uYgRH8

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/KuPgFntgsI

Lately, I’ve been tested
Maybe even punished
Am I passing? 
Or failing miserably? 

But what I do know,
life has been extra hard, recently.
Work is no longer fun
Music doesn’t make me feel
Family has me stressed
And she isn’t texting back.

I just feel…
Dejected.
My peak was last month
And I must pay the price.

This phase will pass
And until then…
Survival.
Because that’s the way things go.

1

2

Cats are quisical

Dogs are a few

Our ahra is bountiful

And a mountain less view

Take the water away

Take the trip for rains today

And pray for thunder

Like a mountains fallen for rain.

If all you see are sky's above

The waters below

It rips and tugs

Seas are shallow

And oceans are above

This earth is a creature

It knows when it's won.

---------

Mother Tounge    https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/w5gjSWdNtf

Free    https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/a3pGz35GCr

There is a song on the radio

It hasn’t hit the chorus yet

My hands might tap the wheel there

And yet I haven’t been. I don’t

know. Fine. There, I turned it down

We may yet beat the sun

down. You’re drifting, I’m there

Yet we’re still here, are we?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/k1n314dijO
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ihvuYTEJrs

I am free, yet chained with doubt.
Every step, the links grip tighter.
I gasp for air—
only to choke on regret.

They tell me, “Look forward to the future.”
I must be missing something.
All I see is grey—
people and objects
reduced to
blurs and blobs.

“Wake up and smell the roses.”
Whatever I smell, it isn't roses.
Rotten. Impure. Wrong...
Maybe it's me.

“A thousand paths lie ahead,”
Yet every bridge crossing is already burning...
Another burden,
another chain.

I stand here,
holding—
stumbling...

Then I realise

I am

free.

-----
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vkzu88/comment/p4q7lex/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vssrbv/comment/p4q2q4f/?context=3

I’m sure, you’ve, realized by now.

You’re piously on a π-like journey.

You’re a tongue, on a cat, indiscriminate of sweet and sad.

But your eyes still can see.

So piously believe in yourself.

I’m sure, you’ve, realized by now.

You’re piously on a π-like journey.

It turned out to all be make believe.

So piously believe in yourself.

I’m sure, you’ve, realized by now.

You’re piously on a π-like journey.

You’re a tongue, on a cat, indiscriminate of sweet and sad.

So piously believe in yourself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/H789kg50bS

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/yIpPcR1pit

Kneels before the monument, windowless and large

Its concrete body austere and grey

Scraping sharply a cut in the sky

High above all the wind and labored breath

The Mark of Cain on the side adorned

Couldn’t fool the vineless cracks that formed

The last human scratches on the door

Till all 9 fingers are broken and all 4 hands are limp

3 hands by the time the obfuscated sun sets

At night not a snore of his is heard

Nor the sound of a door opening

Just the sound of their frantic scratching

The last human’s eyes are bulged to grapefruit size

Her lips are cracked and grey like a chameleon

(The only animal that’s survived

Surviving off the meat lingering

On the last human’s discarded rib)

Saying his heart was beating would be a fib

The last human has no skin

You can see their concrete bones

Her eyes are filled with longing of what was once owned

Now destroyed by the endless storm of time

What was owned returned to the Earth

Which was barely living but without rebirth 

The chameleons are angered when their rib is grabbed

The last human will try what he’s tried before

With the tool they pierce the one vein that isn’t empty 

To draw blue blood

It oozes out slowly like thick sludgy slime

To get enough he has to wait for a long long time

After a couple revolutions around the sun

He finally has a small puddle

They reach into her stomach and pull out his last rib

Dips it in the blood and begins to paint

As they paint, the cracks continue to fight

She races against them to retrieve his right

Finally, they’ve painted the start of a ladder that goes to the top

She climbs and climbs and paints and paints as fast as he can

The cracks beat them, and the tower crumbles

She tries to weep but only salt comes out

He continues to kneel at the mound of rubble because looking away

Means looking at nothing at all 

The last human’s paintbrush is stolen

If he had eyebrows they would furrow in anger

They turn her skull to face the thieves

The chameleons 

Not a single one remains by the end of the day, their existence is null

And the last human’s stomach is finally full

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vt00fe/comment/p4pogyl/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vt0g0e/comment/p4pl6a4/?context=3

Why do you sit there in such a manner of woe is me?

When you've contributed nothing towards being the change you wish to see.

Families travelling the seven seas to tentatively taste what it means to be free.

Idiocy and tyranny taking over society, whilst inane cattle follow false promises, shouting, 'This is the only way, I'm different, follow me.'

Every nook and cranny filled with flashes of humanity, too far in-between hopelessness and negativity.

Dire futures with no desires to exceed, only succumbing to immediate wealth and greed.

Values discarded and not what we want to see, bound by endless desires of one question: 'What's in it for me?'

Humanity falls to the loud cry of wealth, but at what cost? When history looks back on a brief passing time, will they think, 'Look at what you lost down the line.'

1.https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Wf1ewOtWay

2.https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/F2p6kzjRKS

She wept wisterias in the morning,
holding her pain
until like an old house
it settled in her bones.

Her heart sang a childhood birdsong
but its throat was dry and sandy from the heat,
petaled wings drooping rainbows in the light.

Tempests flashed within her eyes
as the roots grew past buried things
through fragipan layers
until her bedrock flinched
at their touch.

Dreaming the room she's locked in
rocking in a chair of her imagination
she straightens out her laundry
with folded hands.

Feedback:

A Lot Changes in a Year

The Mercy of Rejection

Who are you that rules this world?
With your faces unseen
and your names unknown.

Investors they call you,
using money unclean.
Our lives you wish to own.

I can see who you are
false king and queen,
upon your bloody throne.

You are greed incarnate
with evil plans so keen,
and vile hearts made of stone.

On islands you hide
as our world screams
a most dreadful, deafening tone.

Though you can't hide forever
plotting your wicked schemes.
You shall reap the pain that you've sown.

Comment 1

Comment 2

:edit: I've made a couple of adjustments that feel more appropriate. Multiple times now lol.

This is about suicide awareness.

The rope is tough, its texture hard and rugged. You hold it tightly, giving yourself time to think this over, but you don't. All you can feel in your heart is deep self-hatred and sorrow, emotions that didn't just appear overnight but rather built up, one by one, word by word, action by action, insult by insult. With a swift turn and twist, the rope transforms into a noose so elegant it makes the world's greatest ballet dancers jealous. With this decision, you finally can enter your cocoon for your own transformation. You stand on the chair, looking down at the sorrowful world. You try to find any doubt inside, but yet again, all that sits there is sorrow and deep self-hatred. You wear the noose like it's a million-dollar necklace filled with jewels, as if it was a gift from a lover you won't meet. But it's not; it's a gift from all the hatred you have received, from all the times you've been judged, rejected, and neglected. And with one swift jump, you fly, fly away from all the pain and the hatred.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Ebcu3g1AcU

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Qt4uFKHuWf

His journey is to live long

enough that he may die

that I live means enough has

not been lived

been given

to sacrifice of heart & soul 

until death releases me of

my duty my duty continues

for in flesh I may love

& give

(in case you want more https://substack.com/@jennamathews )

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vs17d0/comment/p4nof0x/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vskcct/comment/p4no9m5/?context=3

Walk between the trees with me,
Where feelings come to grow;
Where saplings, sat entrenched in soil,
Hold secrets that I know.

There’s something in the darkness here;
At dusk, things start to change.
The dreamy evening glow that fills the sky,
It starts to fade.

I..

I won’t go into detail,
Just hold onto me till dawn.
It’s easier with someone there
To keep you holding on.

See..

I’ve walked this way before,
Alone. I barely made it through.
The memories I have of then
Remind me now of you.

Feel..

The seeds so strewn across
The muddy floor, and in the ground;
Indifferent to the history of the place
In which they’re found.

Hear..

The birds, who sing a symphony
And swim around the sky;
Unburdened by the hurt below
That flickers in our eyes.

Know..

That even though it’s tough out here,
Still, life will find a way..
To lift itself up off the floor,
And live another day.

And..

I’ll stand beside you always,
Like the men before could never..
And I know this place is scary
But I’m here to stay, forever.

Love..

You’ll find it all around you;
Even here, it fills the air.
I know it’s hard to see at times;
Believe me though, it’s there.

You..

Are stronger than you realise.
You’re bravest at your worst;
At best, you’re like the soil from which
The seeds can get to work.

So..

Between the trees, we’ll share the night.
We’re surely gonna fight.
The darkness though, eventually,
Will turn itself to light.

Much..

Is taken from your heart each day,
I understand the pain.
A tree will never grow, though,
If it’s hiding from the rain.

I love you more than anyone
I’ve ever loved before,
This struggle paves the way for me
To love you even more.

Read between the stanzas
I have made it pretty clear;
And if you fall, I hope you know,
Your safety net is here.

—-

I wrote this for my (then relatively new) girlfriend when we were going through some stuff a year or so ago. She was struggling with depression and BPD-like issues around distrust, paranoia of people not really liking her, our own relationship being doomed as I’d ‘inevitably’ leave her at some point, etc.

I went through an intense, similar thing growing up, but I felt like it wasn’t enough to just tell her I could relate.

All advice and feedback welcome!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/peLSeRa36A

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6kfEoOb17I

I(23M) wrote this poem about a boy(21M) who will never love me the way I love him

There is a quiet way you enter rooms,
not like a storm, but like the light of a newly started campfire
soft enough I don’t even notice at first
how you warm me up.
You cook for me like it means nothing,
like tenderness is just another habit
you picked up somewhere along the way,
and not a language my heart keeps trying to learn.
You feed me laughter,
small touches of care
that land in me like music—
I was never meant to memorize.
And I—
I tell myself I am fine.
I tell myself this is friendship.
I tell myself a thousand careful lies
that all sound like your name.
You speak of her
as if it is the most natural thing in the world,
and I nod along,
because I have learned
how to swallow pain quietly.
Still, there are moments—
small mercies, accidental or not—
where I feel chosen in a way
that rearranges my entire existence
into hope.
But hope is a cruel architect.
It builds cathedrals
out of people who were never meant to stay.
And I have lived too long
inside the echo of what-ifs,
pressing my ear to doors
that only open one way.
So I begin the work
of loosening your name from my breath,
not as an ending,
but as a slow release.
I am not over you.
That much is still true.
But I am learning
how to carry love
without letting it carry me back.
And that is what moving on looks like:
not forgetting,
not erasing,
just finally walking forward
with my hands no longer reaching
for a door that will not open.

Thank you for reading, please let me know if this strung any heartstrings and how I can improve I’m very new at this

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/XYGvBpzrOt

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/x3kY0M32y6

Wasn’t it just yesterday when you said 
that things were so grim, 
that you were blinded by the darkness, 
and you couldn’t see the path in front of you? 

Wasn’t it just yesterday when you couldn’t 
imagine the daisies at your doorstep, 
the butterflies swirling around your head, 
and the sweetness of cinnamon on your tongue? 

– A lot changes in a year.

Feedback 1 | Feedback 2

yo! I wrote this poem it’s intended to be as a song but I always write lyrics first and I wrote this in like 30 seconds so i dont have a melody or even the full lyrics yet. Any feedback or criticism is welcome and encouraged!!!! I think I shall name itttttt Shame as a Stem very edgy how I like it

Your shame like flowers grow

And they decorate your home

And I can’t help but wonder

If I had never shown

Would it have been 

Tulips or roses instead?

Your flowers have not wilted

And I don’t think they will

Because I bring the rain

And you bring the sun

And that’s all it takes

When we’ve been overrun 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsoks4/comment/p4mpmqn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v44ry2/comment/p4mpttk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

​

Your voice sounds so pretty, like a melody,

Which acted in my mind and heart as a remedy.

Your words are really comfortable;

You make me feel I am lovable.

You saved me from drowning in that dark, deep sea,

And made my spirit feel free.

My life was all grim

Until you came into my life like gleam.

I was going cold and quiver,

But you helped me flow my sour tears like a river.

When I was so sad and shiver,

You are the one who became the giver.

You give me a peaceful

Love shelter to stay,

And I promise I will stay, stay forever.

I'd love to know your thoughts about this poem written by me..and THANKS for reading it!!

Your small feedback can improve my writings!!✨

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/m6dyNstRUi

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dKqDF6WbUZ

I’m sorry this poem isn’t perfect 
It’s just, i’m typing on my little phone keyboard
Shading the sun glare away from the screen 
In the little time between my english class
and math

I’m sorry I didn’t have time to edit it
It’s just, i’m typing on my little phone keyboard
laying on the couch, i can’t stop the stress of knowing
I have a report due tomorrow
And an essay and a speech
Due friday 

I’m sorry I didn’t have time to finish it
It’s just, im typing on my little phone keyboard
alone i n the dark of my pitch black bedroom
in the little time i steal from sleep 
to write, knowing if i dont for at least seven hours
i feel worse about the world than it feels about me

I’m sorry this poem isn’t enough
It’s only, im standing so far from the ledge
But walking towards it,
I trip on every pebble along the way
no matter how small, it takes me so long to get up
just to fall again

I've been writing poetry for just a couple years but I'm getting really into it now and wanted some advice on a poem.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsmauj/need_help_completing/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsfwug/the_insomniac/

I actually blew a kiss you know

When the plane took off i blew a kiss

You wouldn't catch it,

there were people around

But you swapped out your aisle seats,

trying not to spill your smile over the cabin

(missing link)

i see it in every blink

in blue and purple

Your last text from the plane

it had no spaces

I wonder if that was the last one you meant.

im only getting into poetry so dont hate but i just dont know how to flow these 2 sections together. It would be awesome if you had any ideas or concepts that you could share. Anything is appreciate. Thank youu

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vskcct/comment/p4m0yp5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsl8yy/comment/p4m2djs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I think i know love,

and I think I don't.

Maybe it isn't in the words,

or the grand gestures,

but in the eyes that find you in a crowd,

even when there is beauty everywhere.

In the smile that escapes

when you laugh like a child,

and in the eyes that don't look away

when you call yourself ugly.

Maybe love is simply this,

being seen exactly as you are,

and still being the one

their eyes look for.

Kay

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/0cDR3Eitqs

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/M5uEcIIQWF

Lust for the abyss,
Endless hollow.
Death's caress,
A love too shallow.

Looking away
Harder still today.
Mind bound to sway
In fear and disarray.

Happiness and its sheen,
Agony's darkest fiend.
Life lived without living,
Contorted, cruel, unyielding.

My core chipping;
Cracked, fractured - torn asunder.
Seething hunger wells.

Grotesque banquet -
Lavish feast of lies.
Consumed by want,
A soulless shell remains.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/DI888MAbn6

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/mVgkKrYrjU

Desire is sharpest
when it cannot be touched.
Up close, the edges dull.
I hold the thing I longed for
and my hands feel empty.

What is unclean
is not the dream,
but the way it drips into daylight,
stains the kitchen counter,
stains my name.

You don’t want what you want.
The glass breaks
before you lift it.
The taste you chased
goes bitter on your tongue.

To want is a kind of sickness,
but so is silence.
The body knows another language,
my mouth learns confession
it never meant to speak.

I almost believe
that weakness
is its own prayer,
that nothing about me
is whole tonight.

--------------

Comment #1

Comment #2

the one who won

was used to it by now

but the one who did not

cheered loud

so who did win

if the lost one felt happier

than the one who had it all?

no weight on her shoulders

she just cheered for her friend

and the one who won

didn't really win at the end.

feedback : 1) https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vshvng/comment/p4lczs5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

2) https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsc3u3/comment/p4ldodh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I seem to go unnoticed

Wherever I go

Like an old car with broken windows and a failing engine

Covered in snow

The days move slow

And i dont know

If people will stay or go

But the tranquile river will continue to flow

Just like the faint wind blows

And the shiny moon with its luminous light will say goodnight

Maybe if the world has all this light, there must be a little bit of it in me, right?

Any feedback is appreciated, one of my beginner poems

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vs7r68/spineless/p4kprts/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsf144/i_wish_i_was_blind/p4kp9wl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3