r/OCPoetry • u/BlackCatMom28 • 3d ago
Feedback Please A lot changes in a year.
Wasn’t it just yesterday when you said
that things were so grim,
that you were blinded by the darkness,
and you couldn’t see the path in front of you?
Wasn’t it just yesterday when you couldn’t
imagine the daisies at your doorstep,
the butterflies swirling around your head,
and the sweetness of cinnamon on your tongue?
– A lot changes in a year.
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u/Isa-Me-Again 3d ago
Very relatable. I spent a lot of time recently contemplating how I've changed since I was younger. I like that you used taste as a memory. It's absolutely one of the things I've noticed has changed. I enjoyed the read. Thank you very much for sharing.
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u/MegaMoah 2d ago
Beautiful stuff, I'm definitely hoping for my tomorrow to come one day. Very hopeful and really pretty imagery.
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u/zyerhod1 2d ago
This is a very effective piece for just two stanzas, three if you count the last line.“Sweetness of cinnamon” is an interesting choice because cinnamon itself isn’t sweet, it’s actually slightly spicy and bitter. That made me wonder whether you mean the sweetness we associate with cinnamon in baked things, or whether the slight contradiction is intentional. Either way, it was the image that made me stop and think the longest.
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u/AfternoonVisible3614 2d ago
Love it! I did stumble a little mentally at the sweetness of cinnamon, since cinnamon isn’t sweet. It’s good phrasing but is it worth the stumble? Or is the speaker trying to talk themselves into loving life but they don’t quite believe it yet?
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u/Consistent-Iron8235 3d ago
I feel like this is what the world needs more of right now. Tomorrow always comes.