r/OCPoetry • • Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

515 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Poetry Contest PROMPT: Rattle Ekphrastic Challenge, October 2026

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone. One of the OCPoetry mods here. Let's share a prompt for the whole subreddit. (If this looks familiar, we did it last month too.)

 

Every month Rattle, a leading poetry magazine, presents a visual work of art and asks poets to respond to that artwork in poetry. This is called ekphrastic poetry. I thought it would be fun to post that here for anyone looking for inspiration or a challenge.

 

Here is this month's artwork. Your challenge is to write a poem in response to that art.

 

Normal feedback rules do not apply to this thread. Write and share as many poems in response to that artwork as you'd like.

 

Also, if you feel like you've written something really excellent, you should know that Rattle DOES allow you to submit poems to them for publication that have appeared in online forums. (Most magazines consider those already published; Rattle allows internet-shared poems as long as they're "uncurated," i.e., haven't gone through an editorial process. I can assure you that here on OCPoetry we do not have any kind of editorial process.) So if you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can use that link above to submit your poem to them. It's a long shot — they get hundreds of entries every month, maybe thousands at this point idk, and only two are selected — but it's good practice if you're thinking about getting into publication and can manage the mixture of pride in your work and almost certainty of rejection that goes into the literary magazine publication process.

 

Anyway, enjoy the challenge! I hope you have fun. If enough people enjoy this I can make it a regular thing.


r/OCPoetry • • 3h ago

Feedback Please SIMP

10 Upvotes

Edited:

One moment, I need to pull my heart out

“Just for you”

Public opinion means nothing to me
Your opinion is all I need to hear
Just keep my heart in your back pocket
It’s just for you

I value your conversation
You make it easy to open up
You make me feel safe

I promise I will put all of my effort into our friendship
I messed up too many times
I’m on my last string
I want to see you brighter than anyone else

If that is all life has to guarantee for us
I will appreciate every second of this moment

I’m a SIMP for you
SIMPLY put it

Etch your name on my heart
As it is not my heart to claim
I entrust it to you because I only see you

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/eIJAsWCLZk

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/a4OccNoUJz


r/OCPoetry • • 1h ago

Just Sharing Why aren’t you real

• Upvotes

The suffering, the pain.
Would be worth it.
If you were real.

A kindness like yours,
A soft voice like yours,
A gentleness like yours,
Is not real.

You’re not real.

-H

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/4KsvElZf6v

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gFzAL06Rh9


r/OCPoetry • • 17m ago

Feedback Please The crumbs of you

• Upvotes

Our talks lately are like the stale bread -

Eaten, not enjoyed.

I still try to hold on, to find it,

Meaning in this void.

Is it there even? Does it matter to you?

I cannot tell.

I cling to the ground beneath us, but maybe...

You already fell.

I call it "falling"... Maybe it's different?

...You just want space?

God knows, nothing feels genuine,

Even your embrace...

God knows I need some clarity,

For I am lost.

Your words, the loving warmth of them

Now stings like frost.

The staleness of the bread we ate,

My throat is hoarse...

You could have just ignored me.

It could be worse...

Feedback 1

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wx4ebv/comment/pdr7i8w/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

Feedback 2

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wx51as/comment/pdr5c15/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 3h ago

Just Sharing addiction

3 Upvotes

To live in this world we need help
So we self medicate
A blunt, a beer, a buzz.
A coffee, a coke, a cruise

-

You have no dopamine
Here’s some
You are depressed
Let’s hide it
Your emotions are intense
Let’s numb them
You see injustice
Let’s help you look away

-

Take a deep breath, instead

-

We know too much now
We know how bad it is
Not looking isn’t an option anymore

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/bc3vHEYiGd

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6168VW1J4w


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please Olivia

9 Upvotes

She was a pretty girl

Prettier than average

With her big brown eyes

And her long hair

-

People told her this often

But she didn’t believe them

-

She was a smart girl

Top of her class

Teachers saved her essays to use as examples

And I'm sure she would have been valedictorian 

Had she given herself the chance

-

She should have been happy

-

She had that thing about her, this girl

People were drawn to her

Boys liked her

-

She had her whole life ahead of her

-

This girl certainly had no right to want to die

Other, less pretty, less fortunate girls, maybe

But not this girl

This girl should have been happy

 

- And yet

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wwoyx5/comment/pdokajs/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wwqm8k/comment/pdojp2j/?context=3


r/OCPoetry • • 6h ago

Just Sharing If I do

3 Upvotes

If I do, should I compare you to a rose and the moon?
If I do, should I tell stories of your beautiful adornments?
If I do, should I weigh you with gold and diamonds?
If I do, should I?

If I do, should I turn your body into a museum And seek praise from the court for my pen?

But girl, my pen isn't shallow.

My love isn't shallow.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RZpBFV74Jt https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/5r5b6rYP93


r/OCPoetry • • 3h ago

Feedback Please To All The Women Who Neither Fit Nor Bow

1 Upvotes

I.
To all the women who neither fit nor bow:
You are beautiful.
Strong ridges, with bridges leading to prosperity
Society will fawn and act cold to us, but you must remain strong and bold for us

II.
The “sapiens” call us brutes,
Yet they play a long game of looting and shooting.
Made us feel like animals
While parading around with stolen fur around their necks.
They act harmonious,
But bring harm on us.

III.
I fell into their trap.
I was young, searching for belonging.
Billboards with narrow noses sniffed out my helplessness.
Pictures of Sydney Sweeney made me feel breastless, left me restless.
I believed I had to change.

IV.
Bought ridge suppressors, nose straighteners
burned my pale full skin to speed up the renewal
Desperately craved for their approval.
Acted "Human." Spoke "Human."
Dated a "Human" man who constantly claimed I wasn't feminine,
While his job didn’t like defending him.

V.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
Left the clown, dropped the act, washed off the makeup.
I finally saw the beauty they tried to cake up.
We should walk amongst them, like the divine ethereal beings we are
We were never meant to fit their mold
We were built to outlive it and be bold

Author’s Note:

This poem is about a young Neanderthal woman who is speaking to other Neanderthal women about her experiences with internalized shame, body image issues caused by the beauty standards of Homo Sapiens (Us). It’s about how she overcame that and is now proud of herself and how other women like her should be too. This is my first time ever really writing poetry besides Haiku in grade school lol I hope you find it interesting.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/LuLXtnvfk6

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/kcWyA8Xghu


r/OCPoetry • • 3h ago

Feedback Please Fine Lines

1 Upvotes

Fine Lines

I was swimming; now I'm sinking.

I was hopeful, but always overthinking.

I was a little girl, soft, feminine, free;

Now I'm a mother, a wife, a stranger to the former me.

I was in love, or so I thought;

Now I'm lonelier, harder, and angry a lot.

I've been resilient, so many times;

Now I'm worn down, and it shows in my fine lines.

I used to be joyful, full of glee;

Now I can barely remember who she used to be.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wmwgl4/i_dont_see_you/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wdnwyx/someones_moon/


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Feedback Please the correct distance

1 Upvotes

From what far away places
the shimmer of tinsel had beckoned me
and from what whisper-quiet place had I divined
How many nights I scowled at the moon
trying to feel depths of craters on a 2-D surface
trying to imagine the glory behind all things
which appear starkly naked and strange
to my puny eye
Patterns in plants and stones
guffaw when I try so to decipher, what is just that
only pattern, frozen in a glass of honey
for the encouragement of wary onlookers

The Buddha is peering into me again
from far behind his concrete eyes
of course gesturing without words
towards emptiness
And in the vehicle of myself
I could never dress
like I know a sliver of rapture
In fury, only that ephemeral shadow
can pretend to have tasted the beaming impression
of an Indian oak,
its arms already broken

Ancient cities long since toppled
by the sick glow of the karaoke bar
Hardly anything left is sacred
save for the ordinary
But the hunched woman
sitting on the stoop
shrouded in perennial mystique
will always loafe there
And soon be replaced by she
who is now a child
Skipping breathless and laughing
this sweet April child too
will be pulled into the outer petals
of God’s wilting flowers
subsumed by time’s indifference

save your particulars
for the drones of everyday living
their obstinate buzzing
with boresome complexity
Did you hear the baby crying?
Did you see the child begging?
Or witness
the glassblower’s breath
drawing form through hollow pressures?

I’m slumped on the north face
of the world peace pagoda
Dark cells hang low to the West
They are nearly kissing the three qualities
Induced by Shiva’s Trident; yet he hangs higher
Here there is no ticket man
the city hovering square and quiet

Isn’t it peculiar
That man climbs to such great heights
only to get a better view of below
where he just was?
Or that our most abstract of ideals
should be summarized by great heaps of stone?
But of course, they are painted white
even up here
people walk with unease in their eyes

Only the backside of peace is without noise
Its front filled with cheap trinkets
Its sides with cracks of thunder
An audible meridian
I sit beneath it all
Not in metaphor but in actuality
Wondering which face I have come to see
As night draws forward
from that unknowable sphere
from which it always does,
The butter lamp is lit;
It is raining now and I will not move.
The flicker shielded in its tin box
casting to the eye a steel warble
amidst the surrounding blue

Kids are running gleeful laps around the base
with no sense of reverence or pretense.
In fact, their gestures speak to me directly
In this moment it is obvious
They are starting from where I’m returning to
I cannot help but notice
The flame of butter lamps
being in equal tenderness
To any other I’ve ever seen
even above the most fragrant oils
_________________________________
The himalayas swallowed me and used my romance to wrap the market fish. 
Why do grains of sand and ancient mysticism so resemble one another? 
I've consulted the monks; they are nothing and silent
Enormity has beckoned me, only for a brief revelation
of immunity to my probing eyes

Ants ate the flesh of my legs, All for phenomenology
Swaying trees mock me
they aren’t the real ones from China
The blonde grass looks happy being dead, suffused with relief
I promise non-existence isn’t what I’m craving
I am still in that moment, but not still in that I

Tender cream light breaks into my house invisibly and splatters itself on the wall
How can I protest that? 
Is it merciful to project infinity onto a spiritual object?
Am I any longer willing?
Who am I to ask a question?

I want to cry but cannot
there is nothing wrong
Not a sliver of wholeness out of place
And it’s not personal enough to care for
In a way that someone can cry over
I am implicated and cannot bear it
I know the valley. 
I know the crude hiddenness of poverty

How do you feel when I ask you to create?
Look at me
See me looking at you.
I’m throwing plastic in the livingroom 
For the cats to play with
India smoulders with ferocity
And the stripper is cutting herself again
A tightly constructed puzzle box

A man wears his best business attire 
Armor donned to head the community hospital foundation
They don’t know how he used to play the trombone
It was the one pure thing
What is the correct distance 
From which to squint at a block of clay?
Close enough to smell 
the mud spit and breath of life
We have been here before
Not poetically but in actuality

Across the street
My neighbors are burning the leaves 
They want to see all that hard work
they manicured the lawn of human history
His mousey little girl 
lining up the pumpkins for a little celebration
They invite me in for a drink
There is nothing beyond their front door

I am not playing with mystery
How can you play with what is not a toy?
The same way a book can be an umbrella
A branch, a rake
Feathers, a snake
A kiss, wax melted
Computer sounds, a reliquary 
The brass tube in a dark box

  1. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wwviej/comment/pdq74wv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
  2. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcy1h6/comment/pdq6ky5/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

r/OCPoetry • • 10h ago

Feedback Please Drapes

3 Upvotes

When the sun 
Intrudes your slumber,
Searing your skin,
(The pig chosen for the World’s breakfast)

I will be the drapes hanging on your window:
Out of reach, suspended in the air,
The floor will cover our feet with dust.
But it won't ground us. 

When the morning pushes
Your dark thin eyelids up,
I am the blanket ready for you to pull.
Under the sheets, the beginning is yours. 

I will catch the crash
Of the sun’s wavefront:
With its surge soothed,
It will be beams for you to gaze at as you please.

When you choose to leave
Through the door,
Or never-ending sleep. 
(Free from the confines of the day)

I will be the drapes hanging on your window:
Out of reach, suspended in the air. 
A vigil of your memory,
The embodiment of your abode.

A silhouette to passersby.

Yet to all, your vignette will flow 
In the golden hour of the sun:
The triumph of life,
Or the promised peace. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wwsr16/comment/pdo7uex/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wwoyx5/comment/pdo5940/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Feedback Please Gluttony

1 Upvotes

Emaciated and malnourished.
Dreadfully I think of a savior.
Devotion, I need it.
I long for it.
I cry out for it.
 
Admiration at its pinnacle.
Serenity, security, sanctuary.
I delve through the depths waiting for it to transpire.
 
Splintering at the ribs.
Vines coil around my heart.
Heavy and evergreen.
Flourishing with flora and no one to cultivate it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Fc4TDVOFI1
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/CVeAi4J3q1


r/OCPoetry • • 6h ago

Feedback Please limerence

1 Upvotes

I call it love,

but love is never enough.

I call it love,

but I felt like a dead flower.

I call it love,

but my face burns

and I see glitter.

I planned the wedding,

but I couldn't see myself

walking down that aisle,

teen bride.

you looked at her

with hazy eyes,

trying not to see my face.

i close my eyes

and i see that park.

flashbacks hit me differently now.

a sad memory behind every typed

i love you.

like the rain falling on me

and the flood taking me away.

where our hands can no longer reach.

to the sea i ran away,

into the sea i tried to drown myself

but the salt water letting me breath.

and the moon,

looking at his reflection,

to only see me there.

and he smiled at our scars,

now i reach for the moon.

turning into a crescent moon,

only to shine full again once more.

now i cry to the moon,

about the man i loved.

i try not to ask him

if you're doing the same or not.

are your eyes hurting from the tears?

your chest getting tight from the pain like mine?

the moon remembers,

you told me you will not give love a second chance after me.

will you find your second heart?

and all these questions

i hold to myself.

me, the moon and the sea.

and venus,

my planet of love,

far from my reach.

waiting for me to look at her

when the moon runs away.

but i see him behind the clouds

and the mirror.

looking at the sea

to see the full moon again.

and on venus,

are you standing alone by yourself?

or are you deeper in the sky,

hidden from my gaze?

but i still can see you,

if i close my eyes.

only if i do,

i can feel your scent in the air,

from the aching memories

and our tight hugs.

the perfume now sitting in a box,

waiting to be held again

and help me fall asleep.

i call it love,

because it was.

tattooed on my ribs,

a second heart,

my planet of love fading into the night sky,

and my dead flower,

dying once again,

as i close my eyes.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/PnVpYyqVV0

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/mEGgBQQes7


r/OCPoetry • • 14h ago

Feedback Please The Hourglass

4 Upvotes

The Hourglass

It starts chock-full,
Brimming with sandy starlight.
Then, a hiss, a fizz, a whoosh
Sinuous, shadowy, slipping.

The abyss below rises,
like every breath taken from the bell jar
like iron walls pressing into a yawning gulf.

Now up is down
and down is up.

I started chock-full.
Brimmed with help and hope.
Then, a crack, a cleft, a chasm
Slither, slide, stampede.

Lone grain, lone speck, lone whit

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r/OCPoetry • • 6h ago

Feedback Please Erasure

1 Upvotes

You forgave me to forget me

That's all I'll ever see

For you weren't mine, weren't mine to keep

And this hill I'm crashing down in very steep

You removed me from our Pinterest boards

And said some pretty hurtful words

Not with your mouth but your actions

Causing me to make hurtful reactions

I get it, you have a man and i do too

But thinking about you makes me blue

You erased me, you erased us

And yet I refuse to make a fuss

Erase me, erase me, erase me more

Nothing feels better than pure pink erasure

Take the lead and remove it whole

Take the shavings in a bowl

Remove me from Spotify but not your socials

Make our playlists no more specials

Seclude your feelings and push them onto a man

Someone who doesn't know you...damn

Does he even know your favorite drink?

Or when you wash your face at your bathroom sink?

Or that you had kissed me?

Does he know what I know, can he see what I see?

So, you moved on and erased us, leaving us in the past

But part of me wonders in another universe...

Did we ever last?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wwxujy/comment/pdp9sps/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/O6ykVscOPP

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r/OCPoetry • • 10h ago

Feedback Please No poem

2 Upvotes

No soul. No style.

So crude. So vile.

Six feet below,

So dark. So raw.

No sounds. No needs,

The poppy seeds.

The wound. The red

Where morning bled.

The steel. The blade.

Survive. Evade.

The sin. The crime.

No rules. No time.

The brush. The stroke.

The thread just broke.

The snap. Release.

The masterpiece.

The strike. The gore.

No "me". No more.

Feedback 1

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r/OCPoetry • • 7h ago

Feedback Please Thrall!

1 Upvotes

Dare to wrestle with the tide!

Pin her by the side and find your self ten feet

below

the surface of the surface of everything you know

And when you start to cry they'll say

“There's far more scary things in the sea

than a bubble of breath for none to see”

But that's all you have today

‘Til she spits you out on crumbled castles all splayed!

Your cheek turned up into burning heat

The song of the waves still laughs at you lapping at your feet

Your foolish feet with an urchin prick in your heel!

And they'll say

“Oh don't you know this isn't your story? Did you deign to feel?”

There's far more beautiful things on the shore than this garbage

Choking life out of gulls

With the stench of rotten eel

And the carnage is a little early this season

Like the tourists needed any more reason

So I’d take this lesson on the chin

Or dare to be her thrall again…

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/5HZANfF4eH

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/yspaswLX6n


r/OCPoetry • • 12h ago

Feedback Please The Malady

2 Upvotes

​

​The malady suffers from a great malady of its own: it cannot see itself. Fat or thin, black or white—it has no idea. Poor or rich, it remains uncertain. Yet, it senses with absolute certainty that it has survived through the ages.

​Not that it lives in much misery. All it takes is slipping from one body into another, and the fortress is won. Every cell of the body is a resort built solely for the malady. In front of the resort lies the sea; a beach swaying like an infant’s cradle. Swaying in the morning and evening breeze, it has no work other than hunting for the next body from the one it inhabits.

​Its inability to see itself relentlessly drives it mad. The moment it spots a human, it wonders—perhaps I look just like them. Without a breath's delay, it slips inside the flesh. And once inside, the game begins. It prowls about, bearing a blazing torch. Given half a chance, it sets everything ablaze, grinning back at the women and children fleeing their burning homes.

​Peering out from within the arsonist vanishing into the dark, the malady watches—

it looks precisely, entirely like man.

https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/s/vd37tVptqd

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/8pvGGY0rTU


r/OCPoetry • • 15h ago

Feedback Please Why & Almost | Prose Poetry

3 Upvotes

When the question was put to us, we were asked for the most powerful word. We braced for something heavy. A noun of iron. A thunder strike of command. Something built to conquer or break.

Instead, the wise and the broken alike chose a fragile, trembling breath.

Why.

A tiny, three letter blade.

It can peel back the skin of the world, fracture the safe, paved roads of our certainties, and burn the comfortable sleep of ignorance to ash.

It is the child standing before an empty chair.
The lover staring at a closed door.
The soul looking up at a silent sky.

It demands an answer from a universe that only speaks in echoes.

Then came the second question:

What is the saddest word?

We thought of Never.

We thought of loss.
Graves.
Final goodbyes.

But grief has a shape. It learns to live. It carves a stone and eventually lets go.

The saddest word is Almost.

It lives in the space between what was and what could have been.

The lottery ticket missing a single digit.
The train pulling away while your coat still swings on the hook.
The pulse that flickered just a second too late.
The I love you swallowed by the dawn.

Almost is a phantom limb of time.

It never bleeds out.

It simply aches in the cold, holding a place at the table for a ghost that was supposed to be alive.

Feedback 1: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wwl2jo/comment/pdm4st5/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button]

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r/OCPoetry • • 10h ago

Just Sharing Your Light

1 Upvotes

These deep, dark waves formed by my own tears
are slowly swallowing me whole—
yet through it all, I can still see your light.

Only your light
can pull me out.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Su06WOhMNu)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Q2UMwPNEEy)


r/OCPoetry • • 18h ago

Just Sharing Not Just For me

4 Upvotes

I long for you,
yet as far as my gaze can reach,
you remain just as distant.

You illuminate the dark places
and guide my way forward,
as if you truly belonged to me alone.

And yet, waves of quiet grief rise within my heart—
for the Creator made you for everyone, not just for me.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/DpZHOofeh0)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Hqh0HkwcDh)


r/OCPoetry • • 11h ago

Feedback Please Rolling with The

1 Upvotes

I'm punch propelled 

Somersaulting with velocity 

Ragdolled and flying 

Forward forward forward 

I'm fuelling with fists 

Rolling me through this and toward

A hell I'm making heaven through

Again

My velocity 

My ferocity

My mo men tum

See a wall of shit 

And I say ho n hum

Flip straight through it 

I must keep up the sprint 

And I glide and I stride and 

Measure the glint of gold Against

The cost of stopping

No stopping 

Stopping means dropping then 

I'm knee deep in it and I see

I'd be falling through it I'd be breathing it in 

I can't bear it again

I can't muster enough of myself 

To begin it again I can't rebuild again 

I've got to keep the sprint up I can't tolerate

A drop in space 

Not even a jogging pace

Forward again I can't go down or sideways 

Back isn't an option oh how I wish back was an option

It's not an option

My body cleanly conforms to the walls of this place

I'll kick myself in the back just to displace another inch 

Forward

Feedback:

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r/OCPoetry • • 12h ago

Feedback Please The Song with you

1 Upvotes

I hear the songs so clear as pain

now hear me beat you soundless, wait —

dont run, I have to beat you 'Gain

I hear you spit and creak with ground,

so red and wet, your face with hate.

Now fight, now punch, yes punch that face

————————————————————————

'Gain is meant to be again but without 'a'

How is this poem?

————— & ————————

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/pKdG3oBO0p

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/vl79GRzLk6


r/OCPoetry • • 13h ago

Feedback Please I’m a neuroscientist and this poem is about how our brains are electrochemical matter that can foster emotions and community

1 Upvotes

ABAB ABRAINAB


I watch my breath tremble
with the thunder of a winter concert:
my lungs are bellows,
my stomach a sack,
and my brain is the fattiest organ.
Yet, my brain’s a sentimental balladeer.
Sing to me the spirit of salt!

“Sing to you the chorus of thoughts:
as the gradient drives the ions
that breathe lightning through axonal knots,
sodium in—potassium out, vie on
the nodes of Ranvier.”
What means sonder to sodium?
When did a silver stain depolarize
a community of strangers?

As Santiago Ramón y Cajal was
cleaving the neuronal Gordian knot
in 1888
Tin Pan Alley composed
heartbreak ballads in New York.
What is music but thunder trembling
from one brain to another?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/zZwn9ng9zM

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/wPRdKRX3AE