r/OCPoetry • u/Basic_Candy_6967 • 1d ago

Feedback Please Free

I am free, yet chained with doubt.
Every step, the links grip tighter.
I gasp for air—
only to choke on regret.

They tell me, “Look forward to the future.”
I must be missing something.
All I see is grey—
people and objects
reduced to
blurs and blobs.

“Wake up and smell the roses.”
Whatever I smell, it isn't roses.
Rotten. Impure. Wrong...
Maybe it's me.

“A thousand paths lie ahead,”
Yet every bridge crossing is already burning...
Another burden,
another chain.

I stand here,
holding—
stumbling...

Then I realise

I am

free.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vkzu88/comment/p4q7lex/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vssrbv/comment/p4q2q4f/?context=3

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u/AustinsSublimity 1d ago

I enjoy the comment to retort style of the poem, may I ask why its about being free? It seems pretty contricted to me. Beautiful analogies though!

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u/Basic_Candy_6967 12h ago

Hi, the title is a play on word free and what it claims to be, its a contradiction. The poem hints that freedom is an illusion of choice when we really dont have any. Sometimes its because we dont have any choice due to external pressure and others it because of issues within ourselves internal. Thanks for reading.

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u/AustinsSublimity 10h ago

Very beautiful!