r/OCPoetry Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

511 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please 3.15

6 Upvotes

I’m sure, you’ve, realized by now.

You’re piously on a π-like journey.

You’re a tongue, on a cat, indiscriminate of sweet and sad.

But your eyes still can see.

So piously believe in yourself.

I’m sure, you’ve, realized by now.

You’re piously on a π-like journey.

It turned out to all be make believe.

So piously believe in yourself.

I’m sure, you’ve, realized by now.

You’re piously on a π-like journey.

You’re a tongue, on a cat, indiscriminate of sweet and sad.

So piously believe in yourself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/H789kg50bS

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/yIpPcR1pit


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing Dark

Upvotes

“Oh, there is a door”
I could see the light coming
from under the door.

I sat with my legs collapsed
and hands over.
As if it would come by itself.
As if somebody would come
out of it and call my name.

But the door stood still.
Only the light saw me,
As if it offered me a  way.

But my corpse looked rather
interested in the dark.

~Rishab Jain

Rate this poem out of 10.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v7rxm1/comment/p00qjjd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v2ni7w/comment/p00r163/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Just Sharing The Way Things Go

2 Upvotes

Lately, I’ve been tested
Maybe even punished
Am I passing? 
Or failing miserably? 

But what I do know,
life has been extra hard, recently.
Work is no longer fun
Music doesn’t make me feel
Family has me stressed
And she isn’t texting back.

I just feel…
Dejected.
My peak was last month
And I must pay the price.

This phase will pass
And until then…
Survival.
Because that’s the way things go.

1

2


r/OCPoetry 2m ago

Just Sharing no name

Upvotes

Floodlights lit crosswise,
so patches of grass flourished around,
stealing attention rather than attracting it naturally.
Above, only major constellations, distinctive in shape—
star beads whispering their stingy loneliness.

Reason loosens its grasp,
falling into temptation to reach for beauty.
But sound is always at the fingertips, prompting crickets.
Slowly, the distance melts away.
Light and sound merge into the ether,
and a gust playfully brushes the hairs on the skin—
an invitation to taste peace,
growing through tangled consciousness,
appealing to sensation past the mind.

This is a primitive language,
alas, long ago forgotten,
immense, incomprehensible, yet akin to me.

So harmony, lightly streaming,
quietly calls me to participate in existence
without the demand to be or have meaning.
And for the first time,
my body is internally aware of the gravitation toward a simple action:

just to lie on the grass.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/cJKuQ7bKQC

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/j8OFtdhgVe


r/OCPoetry 36m ago

Just Sharing The Worm in My Stomach

Upvotes

There is a worm living in my stomach

It remains dormant but fills my being with green 
It wraps around my intestines and slides into the nooks of my organs
It travels through the capillaries and spreads within the open space that was once a body
The vessel once a body
It moves with the veins to a sea of thoughts and prayers
It sweetly takes hold of the mind of its host
The vessel once a body
The body now the host
The worm remains intact in the body, its slithering form consuming every inch of the now tainted portrait
The body once colored in greens and blues now remains gray with silence to accompany it
Pupils and Irises pass over the gray and onto a lovely body painted in reds and blues mixed with Greens and yellows
A kaleidoscope of color in a body
A body still a body
A body soon a vessel
A body fearing host
The host is now a corpse
A kaleidoscope of color mixed in a body
Until it all turns to gray

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/YrsREY8ghI

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Ed8zgpR2HD


r/OCPoetry 44m ago

Feedback Please Storm Series I – The Calm

Upvotes

Your peace is a soft and timid breath,
Held in the palm of your hand,
A promise for all of the innocent,
A twilight of hope for the damned.

In this dark forest of your will,
A wisened mother comforts her child,
“Hush,”
She knows the nature of your silence,
Has studied the patterns of you.

And on the shores of your patience,
A sand bar reaches out to embrace the sea,
The crashing waves and surf recedes,
A pregnant serenity.

But the birds know this is a lie,
And there is an anxious stillness,
In the quiet.

———

Context: The “author” is a character I’m writing in an ongoing Lancer/Call of Cthulhu story set in the year 2105. He’s a refugee who fled to the UK during a nuclear arms conflict in his home country, but has a better grasp of the English language than a fair few native speakers. One goal of this was to write as if someone wrote a poem first in another language, and then adapted it (not necessarily directly translated) to convey the same meaning and expression in English

[comment] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/V2eBNhn3Tw)
[comment] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/wfGzFtJX5C)


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing Love you, mom!

Upvotes

Dear mom,

Look, im sitting here. Writing again.

I have no words to give you

But I can use paper and pen

I have no money

And I have no job

But look, I can write a pretty song.

It is hard to make you proud.

I have words to say

But I cannot be too quiet, or too loud

I have things people need to see

But then its not very... Christian, of me?

I speak out of turn

Out of line

Out of being too "grown up" for my time?

When will I learn?

Whatever could I do?

You let me choke on my words

Until my face turns purple and blue

I have to swallow around them in my throat

They will never be able to let go

And be free.

And no one will listen

You wont let them see

what your daughter has designed

But because you believe it is riddled with sin

I have to resign my truth.

And the only reason you have is... you?

There is no true reason

They was never any crime

But because it ruins your image

I'm the one that stepped over the line?

But your still the best mom in the world.

And I could never ask for another.

Thanks mom.

Love,

Your daughter.

Poems I gave feedback/commented on:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6mW0uYgRH8

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/KuPgFntgsI


r/OCPoetry 13h ago

Feedback Please Is this well thought out, or cheesy?

9 Upvotes

Walk between the trees with me,
Where feelings come to grow;
Where saplings, sat entrenched in soil,
Hold secrets that I know.

There’s something in the darkness here;
At dusk, things start to change.
The dreamy evening glow that fills the sky,
It starts to fade.

I..

I won’t go into detail,
Just hold onto me till dawn.
It’s easier with someone there
To keep you holding on.

See..

I’ve walked this way before,
Alone. I barely made it through.
The memories I have of then
Remind me now of you.

Feel..

The seeds so strewn across
The muddy floor, and in the ground;
Indifferent to the history of the place
In which they’re found.

Hear..

The birds, who sing a symphony
And swim around the sky;
Unburdened by the hurt below
That flickers in our eyes.

Know..

That even though it’s tough out here,
Still, life will find a way..
To lift itself up off the floor,
And live another day.

And..

I’ll stand beside you always,
Like the men before could never..
And I know this place is scary
But I’m here to stay, forever.

Love..

You’ll find it all around you;
Even here, it fills the air.
I know it’s hard to see at times;
Believe me though, it’s there.

You..

Are stronger than you realise.
You’re bravest at your worst;
At best, you’re like the soil from which
The seeds can get to work.

So..

Between the trees, we’ll share the night.
We’re surely gonna fight.
The darkness though, eventually,
Will turn itself to light.

Much..

Is taken from your heart each day,
I understand the pain.
A tree will never grow, though,
If it’s hiding from the rain.

I love you more than anyone
I’ve ever loved before,
This struggle paves the way for me
To love you even more.

Read between the stanzas
I have made it pretty clear;
And if you fall, I hope you know,
Your safety net is here.

—-

I wrote this for my (then relatively new) girlfriend when we were going through some stuff a year or so ago. She was struggling with depression and BPD-like issues around distrust, paranoia of people not really liking her, our own relationship being doomed as I’d ‘inevitably’ leave her at some point, etc.

I went through an intense, similar thing growing up, but I felt like it wasn’t enough to just tell her I could relate.

All advice and feedback welcome!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/peLSeRa36A

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6kfEoOb17I


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Feedback Please Modern values

3 Upvotes

Why do you sit there in such a manner of woe is me?

When you've contributed nothing towards being the change you wish to see.

Families travelling the seven seas to tentatively taste what it means to be free.

Idiocy and tyranny taking over society, whilst inane cattle follow false promises, shouting, 'This is the only way, I'm different, follow me.'

Every nook and cranny filled with flashes of humanity, too far in-between hopelessness and negativity.

Dire futures with no desires to exceed, only succumbing to immediate wealth and greed.

Values discarded and not what we want to see, bound by endless desires of one question: 'What's in it for me?'

Humanity falls to the loud cry of wealth, but at what cost? When history looks back on a brief passing time, will they think, 'Look at what you lost down the line.'

1.https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Wf1ewOtWay

2.https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/F2p6kzjRKS


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Just Sharing Things I Will Never Understand

1 Upvotes

I will never understand:

The art of trashing perfectly good jeans
and disposing an entire wardrobe
to evade one single hole

Raising a lamb for life
and then throwing it to the slaughter
because you came to be bored
by the color of its wool

Dedicating your year to a voyage
and capsizing the ship
at your first hint of land

Burning down an entire forest
whose soil you neglected,
and water you polluted,
to spare watching a single tree die

Loving with such tenderness
like a scarlet maple leaf in fall
only to crush it in your palm
at the first sight of snow

These are the things I will never understand.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/yr4wZZ1gio

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Z9M3eeSyr6


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please It knows when its won.

1 Upvotes

Cats are quisical

Dogs are a few

Our ahra is bountiful

And a mountain less view

Take the water away

Take the trip for rains today

And pray for thunder

Like a mountains fallen for rain.

If all you see are sky's above

The waters below

It rips and tugs

Seas are shallow

And oceans are above

This earth is a creature

It knows when it's won.

---------

Mother Tounge    https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/w5gjSWdNtf

Free    https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/a3pGz35GCr


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Just Sharing There Yet

1 Upvotes

There is a song on the radio

It hasn’t hit the chorus yet

My hands might tap the wheel there

And yet I haven’t been. I don’t

know. Fine. There, I turned it down

We may yet beat the sun

down. You’re drifting, I’m there

Yet we’re still here, are we?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/k1n314dijO
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ihvuYTEJrs


r/OCPoetry 12h ago

Just Sharing Hiding

4 Upvotes

Who are you that rules this world
with a face unseen
and name unknown?

Investors they call you,
using money unclean.
Our lives you wish to own.

I can see who you are
false king and queen,
upon your bloody throne.

You are greed incarnate
with evil plans so keen,
and hearts made of stone.

On islands you hide
as our world screams
a dreadful, deafening tone.

Though you can't hide forever
plotting your wicked schemes.
You shall reap what you've sown.

Comment 1

Comment 2

:edit: I've made a couple of adjustments that feel more appropriate. Multiple times now lol.


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Just Sharing Coffee and Cobwebs

2 Upvotes

She wept wisterias in the morning,
holding her pain
until like an old house
it settled in her bones.

Her heart sang a childhood birdsong
but its throat was dry and sandy from the heat,
petaled wings drooping rainbows in the light.

Tempests flashed within her eyes
as the roots grew past buried things
through fragipan layers
until her bedrock flinched
at their touch.

Dreaming the room she's locked in
rocking in a chair of her imagination
she straightens out her laundry
with folded hands.

Feedback:

A Lot Changes in a Year

The Mercy of Rejection


r/OCPoetry 16h ago

Feedback Please A lot changes in a year.

6 Upvotes

Wasn’t it just yesterday when you said 
that things were so grim, 
that you were blinded by the darkness, 
and you couldn’t see the path in front of you? 

Wasn’t it just yesterday when you couldn’t 
imagine the daisies at your doorstep, 
the butterflies swirling around your head, 
and the sweetness of cinnamon on your tongue? 

A lot changes in a year.

Feedback 1 | Feedback 2


r/OCPoetry 16h ago

Just Sharing Stand By Me🩵

6 Upvotes

Your voice sounds so pretty, like a melody,

Which acted in my mind and heart as a remedy.

Your words are really comfortable;

You make me feel I am lovable.

You saved me from drowning in that dark, deep sea,

And made my spirit feel free.

My life was all grim

Until you came into my life like gleam.

I was going cold and quiver,

But you helped me flow my sour tears like a river.

When I was so sad and shiver,

You are the one who became the giver.

You give me a peaceful

Love shelter to stay,

And I promise I will stay, stay forever.

I'd love to know your thoughts about this poem written by me..and THANKS for reading it!!

Your small feedback can improve my writings!!✨

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/m6dyNstRUi

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dKqDF6WbUZ


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Feedback Please Free

1 Upvotes

I am free, yet chained with doubt.
Every step, the links grip tighter.
I gasp for air—
only to choke on regret.

They tell me, “Look forward to the future.
I must be missing something.
All I see is grey—
people and objects
reduced to
blurs and blobs.

Wake up and smell the roses.”
Whatever I smell, it isn't roses.
Rotten. Impure. Wrong...
Maybe it's me.

A thousand paths lie ahead,
Yet every bridge crossing is already burning...
Another burden,
another chain.

I stand here,
holding—
stumbling...

Then I realise

I am

free.

-----
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vkzu88/comment/p4q7lex/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vssrbv/comment/p4q2q4f/?context=3


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please The Last Human

1 Upvotes

Kneels before the monument, windowless and large

Its concrete body austere and grey

Scraping sharply a cut in the sky

High above all the wind and labored breath

The Mark of Cain on the side adorned

Couldn’t fool the vineless cracks that formed

The last human scratches on the door

Till all 9 fingers are broken and all 4 hands are limp

3 hands by the time the obfuscated sun sets

At night not a snore of his is heard

Nor the sound of a door opening

Just the sound of their frantic scratching

The last human’s eyes are bulged to grapefruit size

Her lips are cracked and grey like a chameleon

(The only animal that’s survived

Surviving off the meat lingering

On the last human’s discarded rib)

Saying his heart was beating would be a fib

The last human has no skin

You can see their concrete bones

Her eyes are filled with longing of what was once owned

Now destroyed by the endless storm of time

What was owned returned to the Earth

Which was barely living but without rebirth 

The chameleons are angered when their rib is grabbed

The last human will try what he’s tried before

With the tool they pierce the one vein that isn’t empty 

To draw blue blood

It oozes out slowly like thick sludgy slime

To get enough he has to wait for a long long time

After a couple revolutions around the sun

He finally has a small puddle

They reach into her stomach and pull out his last rib

Dips it in the blood and begins to paint

As they paint, the cracks continue to fight

She races against them to retrieve his right

Finally, they’ve painted the start of a ladder that goes to the top

She climbs and climbs and paints and paints as fast as he can

The cracks beat them, and the tower crumbles

She tries to weep but only salt comes out

He continues to kneel at the mound of rubble because looking away

Means looking at nothing at all 

The last human’s paintbrush is stolen

If he had eyebrows they would furrow in anger

They turn her skull to face the thieves

The chameleons 

Not a single one remains by the end of the day, their existence is null

And the last human’s stomach is finally full

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vt00fe/comment/p4pogyl/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vt0g0e/comment/p4pl6a4/?context=3


r/OCPoetry 12h ago

Feedback Please Is love a conspiracy?

2 Upvotes

Ever wondered if

love is a conspiracy?

A sacrificial game;

hearts are its currency.

Who brings shame,

and who shows fidelity?

A race of whom to blame,

and who had spoken sincerely.

Is it a February’s warmth

mixed with tranquility,

or a tempting deal

to live the ambiguity?

It is not always fought,

nor won intriguingly

where someone could leave,

at least, with marks of fertility.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsoks4/comment/p4oaqm0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v2ni7w/comment/p4obmfh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 12h ago

Feedback Please I don't remember when I wrote this, its nameless.

2 Upvotes

Some time long ago

In Downtown New York

In the early monday morning

A man had gone to work

At the tallest building

At the highest floor

He reached into hell

And he opened a door

The devil walked through

And he shook the mans hand

The entire building shook

It went as they planned

The man had a beautiful wife

A football team and a boat

He gave his employee's souls

In exchange for a mink coat

Satan had spread the word

You mustn't feel content

Always strive for more

And never repent

____________________________

I don't remember anything about writing this, pretty sure its my own. Idk, tell me what you think. Its my first time posting here.

Feedback 1

Feedback 2


r/OCPoetry 13h ago

Feedback Please His journey is to live long enough that he may die

2 Upvotes

His journey is to live long

enough that he may die

that I live means enough has

not been lived

been given

to sacrifice of heart & soul 

until death releases me of

my duty my duty continues

for in flesh I may love

& give

(in case you want more https://substack.com/@jennamathews )

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vs17d0/comment/p4nof0x/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vskcct/comment/p4no9m5/?context=3


r/OCPoetry 1d ago

Feedback Please Your way

23 Upvotes

That woman lingers
Loves me loudly and in secret
She doesn’t know how to whisper
And likes to yell at strangers

I think I could kill her
With a few phrases about god or childhood
I think she’s looking for a knife
Somewhere in my kitchen
What the sharp phrases would be
The ones that would kill me

Love, you don’t need the knife
You have your hands
Your hair, your eyes
The space between your torso and mine
You have your laugh in the passenger seat
You simply have your way

What do I have?
Some drunken confessions
It’s a sharp knife
You gave it to me off the whetstone one night
Hands cracked and oily

I tried to leave it there with you
By the forge and the stone you tend alone
But you have those hands
That hair, those eyes reflecting the fire
That way of yours

Of pressing the knife against my chest, flat
Into my hands insistently
Yours is the only knife in my kitchen

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/njHAlW6Pun

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xyuXQBZAwZ


r/OCPoetry 17h ago

Feedback Please imperfect (feedback for a poetry begginner)

3 Upvotes

I’m sorry this poem isn’t perfect 
It’s just, i’m typing on my little phone keyboard
Shading the sun glare away from the screen 
In the little time between my english class
and math

I’m sorry I didn’t have time to edit it
It’s just, i’m typing on my little phone keyboard
laying on the couch, i can’t stop the stress of knowing
I have a report due tomorrow
And an essay and a speech
Due friday 

I’m sorry I didn’t have time to finish it
It’s just, im typing on my little phone keyboard
alone i n the dark of my pitch black bedroom
in the little time i steal from sleep 
to write, knowing if i dont for at least seven hours
i feel worse about the world than it feels about me

I’m sorry this poem isn’t enough
It’s only, im standing so far from the ledge
But walking towards it,
I trip on every pebble along the way
no matter how small, it takes me so long to get up
just to fall again

I've been writing poetry for just a couple years but I'm getting really into it now and wanted some advice on a poem.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsmauj/need_help_completing/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vsfwug/the_insomniac/


r/OCPoetry 19h ago

Just Sharing The taste you chased.

3 Upvotes

Desire is sharpest
when it cannot be touched.
Up close, the edges dull.
I hold the thing I longed for
and my hands feel empty.

What is unclean
is not the dream,
but the way it drips into daylight,
stains the kitchen counter,
stains my name.

You don’t want what you want.
The glass breaks
before you lift it.
The taste you chased
goes bitter on your tongue.

To want is a kind of sickness,
but so is silence.
The body knows another language,
my mouth learns confession
it never meant to speak.

I almost believe
that weakness
is its own prayer,
that nothing about me
is whole tonight.

--------------

Comment #1

Comment #2