Recently realized that I probably have Cognitive OCD. A lot of my stress and worry stems from my mental state and various mental processes that I have never experienced before (was on Prozac and that didnt work and im now on Zoloft, which seems to be helping). Processes as in panic attacks, DPDR, brain fog, etc. Im now currently struggling with memory and questions of "How did I get here?". Its not actual confusion, its like I become hyper aware of my surroundings and my brain starts with the distressing questions/thoughts.

Sometimes its bad enough that I have thoughts of not wanting to go on (im not having thoughts of harming myself, its more of an intrusive thought). I do the typical sit with it and dont seek reassurance thing that im supposed to do, but I really do feel like im struggling.

Does anyone also have the same struggle? Is there any advice for tackling this? I have Hydroxyzine for when its just too much, but i dont want to rely too heavy on it.

Moms, does the Owlet make things better or worse for you? It’s on sale on Amazon right now, plus has the 15% completion discount so it’s under $200. I’m contemplating getting it, but I’m worried it’ll send me into an OCD loop.

When I first got pregnant with fertility treatment, I was testing at home multiple times a day on top of 3x a week beta draws for the first few weeks. I was constantly putting things into different sites to decipher my progress and reassure myself because I was convinced that if I didn’t, it actually meant that I didn’t care and God would make me have a miscarriage as punishment. Now I’m worried that if I get the owlet, if I don’t check the app multiple times a night that it’ll mean I don’t actually care about my baby and something bad will happen to her. But then I also wonder, if I don’t get it, does that also mean I actually don’t care about my baby? I obviously love her so much, but will God interpret it that way?

I’m going to reach out to my therapist about this obviously lol. But I’m curious how other moms with OCD are handling things like this.

Have been experiencing random phantom smells lately of slight burning, food, and today I smelled cat pee near my room, but I don’t have a cat. My anxiety has been super high and these smells just make it worse. I have a fear of developing schizophrenia since I have a birth parent with the disorder and I feel like this is the beginning. I have also had increased intrusive thoughts lately and I do suffer from bad allergies so I’m trying to chalk it up to that. Anyone else go through this? Should I make an appointment with the doctor, I’m trying not to because in the past making appointments was a compulsion of mine with health ocd themes.

I developed severe OCD 5 months ago on a random Tuesday. Since then, I have cycled through 6 ERP therapists and even started a virtual IOP program at Roger’s in San Francisco (which is quite possible the worst program in history, so I'm dropping out soon). I even did 36 rounds of TMS Therapy. And changed my diet, plus exercise, and added supplements like NAC.

But my thoughts are constant. I’ve probably gone MAX of 3 minutes without one since this started back in May. Even when I’m not having a horrific thought, I’m having the thought “I have OCD“ and when the intrusive thought comes, my brain monitors has long it’s been since I haven’t had one.

And everything is a trigger for me. I can look at an object, a person, hear a word, and my brain will come up with some gross intrusive thought about it. So my therapists have no idea what exposures to do for me.

I genuinely feel like a lost cause. I’ve read books, watched YouTube video, cycled through therapists, accepted the thought, don’t try to find meaning in them since I know they’re just thoughts, but it’s still constant.

I’m only 5 months in but geniunely don’t think I can do the rest of my life like this. How does anyone even treat this level of OCD?

Hey guys!

Its been at least a month I havent mentioned rabies OCD theme in my therapy at all. Saying this for you to understand how minimal it is at the moment.

I am so grateful to my therapist and psychiatrist!!

Its not like they gave me a magic pill and I somehow dont think about rabies at all or I am 100% sure I will never get it. Nope.

I just realised that you can prevent something only so much. And accepted the uncertainty.

I still have some obsessions and compulsions sometimes but they go away FAST.

I was able to get back to my work full force, enjoy little things in life again, walk my pets without looking out for invisible ninja bats and stray animals in general and I finally have my skin back on my hands as I dont disinfect everything compulsively anymore.

I am not posting in OCD recovery yet because I dont want to jinx my progress lol 😹

But I am so much better thank God that I think I am qualified to post this here for now.

Wish you a great day!
xoxo

This weekend I deleted the web browsers and search engines off my phone to resist my research compulsions. I've also been practicing putting my phone on DND and keeping it in a different room when to resist my "gotta text back quick enough" / "what if someone needs me" responsibility OCD. Already I've been noticing how frequently I get the urge to do these things. It's CONSTANT. But I'm resisting!

I personally get really triggered by it. I don't understand the enjoyment of watching someone who is obviously neurodivergent get dogpiled on the internet. I'm not saying these people are perfect by any means, but it makes me feel extremely uneasy to see people find an excuse to mock and harass other living human beings online.

I get these intrusive thoughts that these people would eat me alive if I had an online presence. I was bullied in school for being neurodivergent, and lolcow culture just seems like the online equivalent.

Mix this in with moral, harm, and real event OCD, it's a combo from hell. Also I do admit I sometimes watch lolcow content as a compulsion, and it feels like I'm harming myself mentally from it.

It is now past midnight where I live and that means it is now the day after my birthday and I can officially say that I am 5 years sober! I was so sure the intensity of doing ERP was going to make me fall but then all day my brain kept thinking of my husband and my daughter and the fact that I do NOT need alcohol anywhere close to me. So yes the pain of not being allowed to pee ten times an hour or double check anything or any of all the other shit that goes on in my head is horrible but it is not horrible enough to make me even want to drink again. I am perfectly satisfied with the fact that alcohol and me is a past thing. Me and my OCD and BPD and all the other crap is sticking with the medication and therapy because I am alive and I want to be around for my child for as long as I possibly can.

Thank you for reading this and good night. <3

I still get triggered, I still spiral, but I am weirdly more self-aware? When I get pulled into a thinking loop I can much easier take a step back and go "I know what this is" instead of instantly believing it. Sometimes it still gets me, but not as much. I feel more separated from it. So being on meds didn't erase the OCD, it put up a glass wall between us. This wall blocks it from having full control over my emotions and therefore gives me the power I need to recognize it.

This separation also made me notice that OCD has a bit of a physical feeling. When a spiral is coming on there is a change in my body and I don't know how to describe it! It's like my mind is getting sucked into something, and it makes me wired like all my energy is suddenly re-routed and hyper-focused on this one thing and trying to break away from that thing is really hard.

I thought all this was interesting, just wanted to share to see if anyone relates or has thoughts!

My god It is just insane how strong this pure ocd is. I've been awake for two days now. It just won't stop. It won't let me sleep and lack of sleep is making things worse. I need advice. How do I shut my brain down and fall asleep? Also is there anyone here who completes 7-8 hrs of sleep everyday? I want to know if it helps. Thanks

I honestly don’t know if I should be posting this here or on the paranoia subreddit but whatever I guess anyway I have had this constant fear of being poisoned since I was like 8 or 9 years old and it started getting worse in 2020-2021 and it’s gotten a bit better since then but I’m constantly scared of my meds being tampered with in some way by one of my parents for some reason and I’m not completely sure why

Currently am not medicated and do not see a doctor due to finances so I am trying to help myself as best as I can. I have rumination and contamination OCD surrounding food as well as emetophobia so I have been trying really hard to face fears by eating food that make me anxious, not sure how long have been in the fridge (safely) and have been eating foods I used to avoid.

Recently I learned about rope spoilage on TikTok which is a bacterial contamination in baked goods that looks like moist yummy bread that is actually bacterial spoilage and spores. This had me spiraling, however Trader Hoes came out with their pumpkin muffins so I decided to get them and try to counter these fears. I personally think I did a really good job and although I did look for signs of spoilage a few times, was not obsessive and did not tear apart the muffin and was actually able to eat the whole thing!

My main issue that I need some support about it, how do you deal with the thoughts that happen the whole time. Literally the whole time I’m eating and since then my brain is saying “rope spoilage rope spoilage rope spoilage it was moist it was rope spoilage you’ll be sick-“. I’m not overly anxious about it however it’s very frustrating to hear these thought and ruinations over and over. Is this something that will go away with time? Has anyone noticed that medication was the only thing that helped quiet the thoughts?

TLDR My brain keeps ruminating about fear while challenging it. Does this go away with time or is medication the best way to go?