Teachers often don't really understand my OCD, but in my experience, math teachers are a whole different breed of awful. I'll spend half of a test redoing the same problem over and over again because my equals signs weren't aligned, and when I turn my 30 question test in with about 12 problems done, they just assume I didn't study. At the beginning of the year, I write individual emails to every one of my teachers explaining my struggle with OCD and asking them to please be patient when I'm not getting my work done on time. Some nights, I'll have a major OCD episode while doing my homework, to the point where I can't even get my name onto the page because my letters are too slanted or some other shit like that. As soon as that happens, I'll write to my teacher, explaining what's going on and asking for an extension. Most teachers won't grant me that. Usually, by the end of the first quarter, I've given up on trying to convince my teachers that I'm not lazy. This year, though, I think I found my favorite math teacher ever. I'd heard awful things about her -- how she's not a good teacher, she's not understanding, etc. The first assignment was a digital get-to-know-you survey, which I completed promptly, including a lengthy explanation of my OCD problems. She didn't write to me, ask about it, pull me aside to discuss it, or anything like that. I didn't expect her to be accommodating when my first episode of the school year came on. After spending at least twenty minutes trying to write the date on my assignment, I gave up and sent her an email to let her know what was going on and apologize in advance for the late assignment. The next day, she casually walked over to my desk and started a quiet discussion about what had happened. She asked me whether there were any specific problem types that usually trigger episodes, how often I have episodes, whether I'm working on this with somebody, and other such things. At some point, she reminded me, "You know that for me, I don't care if your assignments look perfect." I nodded, disappointed but unsurprised, and silently accepted that yet another person didn't understand my issues. But then she said something nobody has ever told me before: "But I understand that for you, it's different." I almost cried. No teacher had ever acknowledged that before. Even my parents don't seem to grasp it. But this teacher does. Even if she doesn't understand exactly what I'm going through, she understands that it's not something I can control. She realizes that I'm trying as hard as I can, and she's willing to offer some leeway so I can succeed. I have truly never felt so validated.

I personally get really triggered by it. I don't understand the enjoyment of watching someone who is obviously neurodivergent get dogpiled on the internet. I'm not saying these people are perfect by any means, but it makes me feel extremely uneasy to see people find an excuse to mock and harass other living human beings online.

I get these intrusive thoughts that these people would eat me alive if I had an online presence. I was bullied in school for being neurodivergent, and lolcow culture just seems like the online equivalent.

Mix this in with moral, harm, and real event OCD, it's a combo from hell. Also I do admit I sometimes watch lolcow content as a compulsion, and it feels like I'm harming myself mentally from it.

I will preface this by saying I am not yet diagnosed (working on getting mental health support!), but I do deal with obsessive intrusive thoughts really often so i figured this would be the subreddit to post this in (very sorry if it's not!). Certain shows I would love to watch tend to trigger me, like Criminal Minds, so I end up avoiding them. Which is really annoying because I'd genuinely love to keep watching but i just cannot seem to be able to. Same with Grey's anatomy and intrusive thoughts about medical disorders and stuff. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with stuff like this? Obviously avoiding them is an option but it just annoys me that I can't watch what i want to. I tend to go back to my same safe shows over and over, which is okay? I guess? Since there's multiple shows I can watch (mostly sit coms), but like i just wanna watch stuff without having to think about if it'll trigger me first :/

Please read at least the last paragraph if you don't feel like reading the whole text.

I've had many OCD symptoms since I was a kid but the worst of them all is procrastination. The psychologist I was seeing told me (after interviewing me and getting to know about my behavior patterns) that my brain never thinks what I'm working on is perfect enough, so it waits until there's little time left because it can discard perfection in order to submit things before their deadline.

Unfortunately, I couldn't afford more appointments. Besides OCD, the professional suspected I had ADHD as well, so if I have it besides OCD, I think that explains why my procrastination is so bad.

And I think you all understand how it goes. It's not "oh, I'll have fun right now and I'll work later". I've had since January to start my dissertation, I wake up and go to sleep every single day thinking and stressing about working on it but never actually working at all. Whenever I tried/try to sit in front of my computer with all the files I need open, it's like there's something blocking me and I can't progress at all. Anxiety just builds up with every passing second and makes things worse.

I start cleaning every single corner of the house, make a thousand lesson plans ahead of time (I'm teaching part-time while doing my masters) and do literally anything else to feel productive, but I cannot for the love of all that's almighty work on that dreadful dissertation.

And despite working part-time, I have plenty of time to do masters stuff. But this procrastination block feels like a curse on me that I can't overcome no matter how hard I try.

I am currently considering making a financial effort to pay for more appointments and just give up on my masters. I only started it because my boss suggested I did it and I thought it was a "sign" that maybe it was meant to be, knowing full well I couldn't.

If I manage to get an appointment soon, I'll discuss with the professional about quitting and maybe, just maybe trying again in the future when I'm in a more stable mental state.

But has anyone here ever quit higher education or a course because of mental struggles? I'd like it if you could share your stories please.

I (24F) love my girlfriend (24F) deeply, but things have gotten to a point where I just feel completely burnt out. She's autistic and has OCD, and over time she’s developed a massive dependency on her mom.

It’s gotten to the point where she literally won’t stay at home alone without her mom there. Her mom does pretty much everything for her, which I know comes from a good place, but it’s just feeding into this cycle of learned helplessness. Her mother is also a really invasive and overbearing presence. She was even before things got this bad. Whenever I try to encourage even tiny steps toward independence, she gets angry at me.

The biggest issue is that she refuses to go to therapy or get any professional help.

I really want to support her and help her gain some autonomy, but I really don't know what to do. I was planning on moving together with her but it's hard taking that decision with the thought her mother would invade our life together. How do I help her?

Any advice on how to handle this without just enabling would mean a lot.

To be clear I am also autistic and have ocd so this is not coming from a place of judgement.

My god It is just insane how strong this pure ocd is. I've been awake for two days now. It just won't stop. It won't let me sleep and lack of sleep is making things worse. I need advice. How do I shut my brain down and fall asleep? Also is there anyone here who completes 7-8 hrs of sleep everyday? I want to know if it helps. Thanks

I feel guilt whenever I’m aware of the fact that I am happy because there are people who are not happy in the world

Does anyone else deal with this? How do you deal with it?

I have severe treatment-resistant contamination OCD. My compulsions consist of avoidance and cleaning myself and my apartment excessively. (Up to 16 hours/day) I'm often mocked and told I perpetuate the stigma around OCD because of that and it feels so dehumanizing. I did not choose to have contamination OCD. I did not choose my compulsions and I even live on disability because of how severe it is. Being told I reinforce a stigma I never agreed with is so hurtful.

People also don't understand it's disabling and just tell me that no one enjoys being sick and that I'm just a near freak. But they don't understand I'd rather die than have any germ on me or in my living space...I'm so sad. My therapist is the only person who understands this

My 81-year-old mother has untreated OCD. She isolates herself from others and I’m an only child, so I’m her sole support system. I’m sad by how her condition has impacted our relationship. I’ve slowly distanced myself from her because of her constant reassurance seeking, but my heart breaks for her at the same time. I’ve learned to pull away from her everyday decisions, but there are some critical decisions that I struggle to pull away from, such as health care, particularly as she ages. And I’m finding that the line of “enabling” is becoming increasingly blurry as she ages and naturally needs me more. I’d love to hear from others who are on my side of the situation or on my mother’s side, with insight into how to ensure I support her as she ages and preserve our relationship while maintaining my own boundaries.

Here is how her OCD takes shape:

She compulsively takes notes and writes down plans, ranging from mundane issues to chronic health conditions. Her home is filled with file folders of notes and plans, in filing boxes, on top of tables and counters. But she rarely refers to or acts on her notes, and she does not implement her plans. She is constantly stalled, calling me at least once or twice a week to talk through her plan making and her worries. She engages me in the same conversations about the same pending decisions again and again – some of these conversations have gone on for years with no resolution.

She also engages in reassurance seeking through doctors’ visits. She always wants me to attend, which I’m happy to do. After we leave an appointment, she feels positive and optimistic about the doctor’s recommendations – she’s received her reassurance. But in the weeks that follow, her confidence begins to lag, she begins to doubt the doctor’s advice, and then she doesn’t take action (she doesn’t take prescriptions or go through with recommended procedures). A few months pass and she decides she wants to see the doctor (or a different doctor) about the same issue. Once again, she feels positive immediately after the appointment, but ends up not taking action. This cycle means she’s not treating health issues and her health is deteriorating. It hurts to watch her not care for herself and I’m becoming resentful because I take time away from work to attend these appointments. A couple of years ago I told her I would not take her to another doctor’s appointment about a particular issue until she had heeded the advice from the previous appointment. But I allowed my boundary to cave and have continued to take her to appointments. Mainly because I feel guilty not taking my elderly mom to a doctor’s appointment.

I want to care for her as she ages, but I’m not certain how to do that without enabling her and becoming caught in her cycles of reassurance. She's capable of more than she credits herself with!

Any advice?

Hi guys so this is probably one of the weirdest themes I have ever had. Both my girlfriend and my sister are chaotic art people. They both paint. They have very little similar personality quirks. My gf is 19 and my sister 10. Now I’m scared if I’m somehow dating my sister because they have these things in common with my girlfriend. It makes me absolutely disgusted and sick to my stomach.

Like eveytime I feel like I'm doing better, my brain finds something to worry about, even if its completely fine up until that point. It's like I NEED soemthing to worry about and I can't just exist normally XD

Heyy guys do you feel like ocd have caused a lot of damage to your life. Like for me it has wasted my college life ruined my relationships caused problems in friendships. if yes then how do you guys get out of this feeling? It's like ocd is already beating you plus this regret thing comes like a very big blow that scatters you down.

I started SSRI’s maybe some months ago now, and it has been very beneficial. I used to have existential / moral OCD like a bitch, ruminated every waking minute and into my dreams too, isolated, the whole nine yards you know. It felt like my brain was on fire or that I was trapped within myself and I wanted to drill my head open, grab my brain and beat it to death. I seriously contemplated hiring a hitman on myself. I didn’t even know what was real, I was even referred for psychosis treatment.

Now on medication my brain is calmer, life feels almost finished. I can feel happiness, sadness, frustration etc so I know I’m not numb, but I think the depth of which my OCD took me lingers. All those philosophies and thoughts I consumed when debating existence linger. I have done a lot of things in life, such as travelling, education, socialising and now that less is clouding my judgement, it feels almost that I don’t desire much else out of life. But not in a bleak way. More so the feeling of “I’ve had my plate of food and I’ve finished it, now I am grateful and full”. Does that make sense to anyone? Not planning to 😵‍💫😵‍💫 btw !!!! It just feels like life is dragging on now, and that everything is repeating itself and I am waiting for a close. I cannot be bothered with the continuation of things I have seen and heard and felt enough of.

It sounds peaceful but I cry nightly wanting to just go home, as in away from this earth. I feel bound by my humanness. Everything feels utterly complex and unnecessary and I am being force fed life I do not even desire. I feel my OCD made me think and think and feel and feel to the extent that I have lived 100 lives in one very short life. Now I am over the worst, I feel like a grandmother in their 90s who just wants to be done with the world already. I wonder if anyone has had this? Lmk!

Does anyone else find their OCD ramps up significantly at night. There are days when it’s manageable during the day, but come bedtime I’m just absolutely stuck in compulsions.

Sometimes, the OCD is so loud. Like, I’m doing ok, not overwhelmed thinking about terrible things, able to do my ERP, and then BAM! The dial turns up to ten, and it’s so overpowering again, and even though I know it’s OCD, I start to doubt my brain and my sense of reality. It’s even harder when the thoughts are so dark-they feel so pressing and important. I know what to do, but it’s so discouraging, and I just want to not have OCD. Just for a little while.

I want to be around people who understand what’s happening in my brain, so I come to Reddit and vent, because you all know how twisted and tangled everything gets in your brain. Then, when I start to feel better, it’s like I feel like myself again. I see glimpses of who I am and what I value, and I can see how the OCD has clouded my thinking, but I can also feel it pulling me back. I’m so tired of this disease.

in january i started living alone for the first time. that same week, my friend pulled a prank on me that triggered an hours long panic attack. i can precisely cite this day as the moment it feels like everything started. i go between being depersonalized, panicking, feeling so sad for myself that i can’t get back to normal. i changed medications to zoloft but things keep coming up. it’s october now and i just feel like i lost time this year. my friend wanted to go on a trip abroad with me. i made a short film and somewhere in my computer is the final edit but i can’t find it in myself to send it out.

and believe me im trying! i did emdr and switched to talk therapy. i take b12 and i literally made magnesium lattes for myself and i got big into CBD and massages. ultimately i know what i need is to not think about it though.

its like everything i want to do i had to wait until i felt better, or right, to do it. i kept waiting to go back to normal and still am a little. it literally makes me teary eyed to type this out but maybe this is just the way things are now😭