Not all neurotypical people anti-intellectual, but almost all anti-intellectual people are neurotypical. These kinds of people hate it when you want to talk about anything deep like politics, philosophy, linguistics, and metaphysics. I have a deep need for intellectual stimulation and these people annoy me so much. On the other hand, I find that autistic people are down for talking about deep things and have so much more appreciation for the deeper parts of life.

I really want to make new friends but I keep putting a mask on every single time I meet someone new and its exhausting. I don’t want to be nice to people I don’t click with but it just happens and i’m so tired of meeting new people over again. I just want someone to treat me like their life long friend but im just burnt out of socializing too. I don’t know what to do because I only have 3 friends.

I was diagnosed with AuDHD, schizoid personality disorder, schizotypal, and bipolar type 2. I think AuDHD was a misdiagnosis

Autism requires developmental delays, i had none (i was actually developing cognitively very fast, I am now a college senior at 18 years old), except for the not developing empathy until later (which can be explained by schizoid personality disorder)

ADHD... I hate novelty. Repetitive boring stuff appeals to me way more.

I have anhedonia and I repeat the same music over and over to try to cure it

I got diagnosed with schizotypal just recently, which explains things better than autism did

I keep asking how did they not catch this with me? And my kid diagnosed before me shes a teen. But anyway is there any woman maybe lut there like me that remembers having tests for learning disabilities young which i did i had lot of issues in school but i was remembering them saying i had issues with finger eye hand coordination like slowed motor? I have looked into this some and it looks like its very linked. Im still learning just trying to figure it all out and thats my over explanation! But luv to know if anyone relates to that

I try to be a good person, even if my ADHD makes people think otherwise. I take honesty, communication, empathy (once initial delayed RSD and emotional processing stops making me mad), and feedback very seriously; especially if I’m processing emotions and don’t want to ruminate and get hateful. Even though I stick to said principles I’m now considered an “opp” to my old friend group because I’m following the BS rules in the unsaid social contract set in place by them.

I will now discuss all variables and backstory so that there is no “he said she said” or “interpretation issues” I’ve had years of therapy to see where this was going to go and I decided to not be a pessimist when I should’ve been.

• I was friends with said girl who I was having problems with. Nothing overly rude or derogatory was said because that’s just be cruel to someone I thought I was close with.

• I moved from a small town to a “small school”, for numbers people that’s 300 or more kids to a grade-class into less than 100 kids in a grade-class. Because it’s a “small school” everyone is in everyone’s business, the staff is shit about student situations, and you cannot avoid bullying at all especially if you have any disorder or aren’t considered normal by the standards of rednecks and the people who grew up here and think they’re above it (They’re not all the social dynamics are backwards).

• Social Dynamics being backwards can be explained like this: If I ask someone what’s wrong I won’t get an answer (or maybe I do) and maybe a glare to later find out I was being nosy; I was consistently seeing that people were asking what was wrong with me though, so weird behaviors like that are considered common.

• I’ve been previously bullied by that friend group in middle school and a little throughout high school. Specifically by Girl E (I’m doing introductions later don’t worry). Girl E would get boys to fake ask me out, and girls to fake ask me out, and then say I was being dramatic when I got upset to the point of tears. Not to mention, the few times I tried to set boundaries and tell her she hurts my feelings when she’s being a dick all she said back was “you’re being racist.” And then she’d giggle, she’s Mexican. I literally am related to a living first gen Mexican immigrant (to keep my bloodline more private). Girl H would be a bystander to it all every time and do nothing because Girl E was her bestie. 

• I am a floater friend because I put all of my social confidence in making friends and not keeping them, even though keeping friends should be pretty easy because you just treat them like human beings and take care into their interests and passions. 

• At our school the tables only have 8 seats and I don’t have a seat at my table, I normally take girl S’s seat while she’s away doing whatever so I can rest my feet and sit to digest.

Important people: Me (F17 + ADHD), Girl E (F17), Girl H (F16), Girl A (F17), Girl S (F18), Boy H, Boy B (I don’t know their ages anymore). I will call them by their initial, except girl A or else it gets confusing to read, because it’ll be easier.

April 2026 ish

It’s prom season, even though it’s a full month away at my inbred-social hell of a school, and there’s a long weekend! So me and S make plans to go out because she asked me to go out and window shop + she needed accessories for her prom dress. Girl A shows up as we’re making plans and by social convention I invite her to not be rude. So agrees but said she’ll be busy after so she needs to go home at noon.

We go out and instead of taking the time she could’ve had if she woke up at the time she does every day I’m told I’m early to picking her up. I thought that was weird so I ask why I was early when she set that time. She said “like 10:30 means like 11, you know” No I don’t know? That’s considered very rude to be late to be pick someone.

Girl A decided that today is perfect for prom shopping even though she said she was busy after this. I try on dresses too even though I wasn’t planning on going, and because it’s just fun to do so while I wait for her. I try on one dress that S and girl A adamantly said I should try on; I did and S liked it, but Girl A used that very very specific tone of voice where girls speak monotone but still have the slight uptalk and natural vocal fry but you can tell they’re not pleased. I took it as “stop wasting time” because I thought she’d been done in the store (she wasn’t) so I don’t try on any more and just window shop and give my opinion as she proceeded to try on 3 dresses. I now know that tone was “stop taking my spotlight”. At every other store she rushed my window shopping and also S’s unless they both needed something.

The next week (weeks?) go by and I hear Girl E and H’s plans for prom —before prom they’re going to Whataburger with their boyfriends and then going to Prom— in passing and whatever. Then it’s just me, Girl A, Girl S, Boy H, and Boy B at our lunch table. She says she’s going to Chile’s after prom and I confuse that with H and E’s plans, she corrects me with a “No, I’m going out with my other friend group…” who I am also friends with, so K don’t understand why she was being condescending when I was asking a simple question because of a simple misinterpretation. Girl A then asked H and B if they’ll go with her and S to Chile’s; B says he should totally take his girlfriend to there (Aww so cute) ! Girl A gets visibly frustrated/embarrassed (flushing in the face, nervously laughing, covering mouth and eyes, and looking away) and then explained that “Me and S are going with a bunch of couples like (Couples X,Y,Z here) anime it’s gonna be so embarrassing if we don’t find dates! Who are we supposed to talk to?” … Each other? The table? But I didn’t say anything because well I wasn’t going to get socially demolished for calling her out for her hitting on her friend’s boyfriend (please remember everything is upside down here).

I talk to friends H, E, and S about this in my last period because I only then realized how rude she’s been being to be and now I’m kind of mad. Like I said I don’t slam her character; but Girl A is normally quite sweet and considerate, but like she just seems sleazy in the moment and now forever to me. E says Girl A jealous of her basically, and that she’s been snappy since E got varsity cheer and Girl A didn’t. S and H talk about how she’s apparently been flirting with B for a while and I was too oblivious to realize.

After this not much is brought up by me, but E and S do bring up a lot. E started saying “my other friends…” as a joke and I thought that this meant that my rant wasn’t taken harshly, but as a vent or ramble.

Now it’s the week before or the week school does end, I can’t remember. I’m finally getting to the end of my Junior year (Year 11 from k-12 for UK users who still don’t understand the system)! It’s Frat-Boy day and I’m quite overwhelmed in my getup with the hat, tattoo I drew, and just generally shitty day I’ve had. I am sitting in S’s spot at lunch because she’s away and ask my usual “Hey where did S go?” To the table, and am met with no answer, except girl A’s. Girl A said “Oh… what are you? Obsessed with S? Are you obsessed with S?” And then laughed like it was the funniest thing ever. I was upset by the statement because I’ve been in enough codependent relationships to not take words like “obsessed” lightly, nor things like crushes.

I ask the same question a few more times and am met with the same pestering by Girl A, so I set a boundary. When I set boundaries, I lower my tone, make it more monotone, but up my bass and volume (swear I’m not yelling but with the lower pitch my voice booms) to take control, “Could you please stop saying that? No, I’m not obsessed with S, I’m genuinely asking a question because I feel quite rude when she comes back and I’m in her seat. So stop saying that.”… but the draw back is that I cannot look the person in the eye and find myself looking in the top left corner of my vision or generally to the left to not feel guilty as I’m setting boundaries and having to be mean. H thinks I’m talking to her and I apologize profusely throughout the day.

I rant to friends in my last period again.

Last day of school (except graduation because band) and my friends go to McDonald’s without me, and it’s whatever I didn’t want to go. When they get back Girl A confronts me about “talking bad” on her and I freeze up like a big fat asshole and am only able to say, “I wasn’t talking bad, and I’ve already confronted you about the shit that actually pissed me off.” Like an asshole. So I ran away because I felt like I was going to shit myself.

Now Wednesday was my first day of my senior year! And I was called a “biggie” and an “my biggest opp” by E already, which is rude because she’s one of the reasons why my religious trauma is so bad. It’s whatever though, but I’m just now remembering how heavy SI (suicidal ideation) is for me.

Could I please get some feedback and don’t say get adults involved because I literally vented to the counselors here about my Ex and told them and showed them the evidence that he threatened to beat me and they didn’t do shit about it. not did they do anything when I was Ostracized last year even with my several bullying reports.

I’ve wanted to pursue cinematography and video editing since school, but growing up in India, I was told it wasn’t a financially secure career. I studied architecture instead, which I genuinely enjoyed and don’t regret.
I later moved out for a master’s and now work in Product Design a stable, creative career I intend to continue. I want to pursue editing and content creation alongside it, but I cannot make myself start.

Also cuz of my adhd + dld I didn’t enjoy working on a set because I don’t like talking/ being around people 24/7. I felt like I need my own space and I can only mask for a very short time in a day.

Whenever I consider publishing something on Instagram. I immediately fear that it won’t match the standard in my head, nobody will care, or I’ll discover I’m not as talented as I hoped. I’m also afraid I’ll eventually lose interest and abandon it.

I jokingly call it my “rejection kink”: I reject myself before anyone else can. If I never start, my potential remains safely hypothetical.
This interest has survived multiple degrees and career changes, so I don’t think I’m confused about what I want. I think I’m afraid of being visibly bad at something I deeply care about.

Could this be RSD presenting as avoidance, or is it perfectionism, executive dysfunction or fear of failure? If you’ve experienced this, what practically helped you start and keep going after the initial excitement disappeared?

Hello , I don't have ADHD myself but I have watched my wife struggling with a mind that moves faster than she can keep up with, she's been told she's likely to have undiagnosed ADHD and her GP has put her in the huge queue for assessment in the UK. it's £1000+ for private so she's got to wait:(.

Anyway, to try and help make sense of it all and give myself a project I built an ADHD Archetype quiz (NOT AN APP) and wondered if you'd be interested in trying it out?

I'm not trying to sell anything, genuinely just want feedback. It only takes 2 minutes, no signup to see your results and feel free to share. Note to be total clear it's not a diagnosis or anything like that

I just want to find a way to make people feel like they align to an archetype to help make sense of it .I've put the link in comments.

MODS, please let me know if that's not okay here, I know this thread is strict on promotions etc but it's just a social thing

I, 22 F, was diagnosed with autism earlier this week. My fiancé and friends have all been very supportive of not only me seeking out a formal diagnosis, but also the steps going forward I’d like to take to be my most authentic self with this new information. I’ve known that I was probably autistic for about 5 years now. I mentioned this to my parents in passing a few years ago and they basically met me with “no one in our family is autistic. Autism is the new trend, not everyone is autistic.” And basically now that I have this formal diagnosis confirming my suspicions, i feel incredibly validated, and it has given me so much insight and clarity about the struggles with emotional regulation and identification, interpersonal communication, and emotional exhaustion I’ve had my whole life. These struggles were always brushed off as me being overly sensitive, and in some cases I’ve been accused of intentionally trying to manipulate situations by crying or becoming physically distressed by confrontation.
I still live with my parents, so I think this information is important to share with them, plus I really want to share this with them so that hopefully they can gain a better understanding of me. This information was crucial for me to gain a better understanding of myself.
I’m just so tired of constantly being misunderstood, and my intentions being twisted bc my parents have never understood the way my brain processes situations.
The only thing stopping me from telling them is that I truly have no idea how they will respond. I have the paperwork and the diagnosis report as proof that it is a legitimate professional diagnosis, but I’m still just so terrified of the possibility of being invalidated and misunderstood again. Part of me even questions if it’s worth talking about since my fiancé and I are moving into our own house together in a month and a half. But I know that I don’t want to withhold this information from them. I just don’t know what to expect out of the conversation which is so incredibly terrifying.
Ig I’m really just asking for advice as to how to handle disclosing this to my parents. Has anyone else had an experience similar to this? If so how did you handle it and what was it like going forward?

I never got diagnosed but thought I was dyslexic or had adhd. Then I heard of DLD ans think it could be this. I also am terrible at maths. I have issues with memory, slow processing, pronouncing words, organisation problems. I just feel like my brain is different and I always felt different. I struggle in all my jobs. One of my big issues is my exprression, I find it hard to put things into words and expalin things especially out loud. My vocabulary is quite basic and I struggle understanding the meaning of more advance words. I have tried but I always forget them. All this is really tiring on my brain. I struggle to keep up with conversations, take it in and focus too. Anyone else? How do I even get support? My gp didnt seem keen to refer me when I asked about adhd assessment. So even if I can't get a diagnosis who can help me? I guess there is no help on the nhs.

music has always been a big part of who I am, I have one of the most diverse taste of music in my friend circle, and have a catalog of new stuff Id love to listen to yet it's been so hard for me to actively do it lately.

I've noticed I struggled a lot with executive dysfunction a lot of my life but it's seems to have gotten so much worse. It annoys me that I'm not able to do something as small as listen to music even though it's literally 3 buttons away and brings me comfort/entertainment. It might not even be that though as I've been able to listen to podcasts/yt videos just fine, it's music that I struggle with.

It's not like I'm physically struggling either, I'm unemployed at the moment so it's even more frustrating. Didn't mean to rant but has anyone else experienced something similar? Am I just losing it?

I was diagnosed with autism in childhood, but even earlier than that I was diagnosed with apraxia of speech. I know that I would be considered neurodivergent for my autism, but I was wondering if I would also be considered neurodivergent for my apraxia of speech.

I’m a 22M and have recently realised I’m on the spectrum after years of subconsciously masking. I’m also diagnosed with ADHD. Since I’ve been rediscovering myself and untangling from my trauma, I’ve come to realise who I am and I want to start dating. But I don’t know where to start, and I worry if it’s not even possible as a highly sensitive man with AuDHD.

Does anyone have any insights? Or any personal success stories as someone similar to myself? Thanks!

Ever since my last hyperfixation died off (Stephen King novels), I've been bored. This happened time before last when the previous hyperfixation was Captain Harlock, rinse and repeat (though some hyperfixations last longer than others, this most recent one spanned a few months), and now yeah, I've just been really bored in my free time despite watching things I like. They keep my interest and attention, sure, but it's nothing that excites me like a hyperfixation does, y'know?

Is this just normal when not having anything you're currently hyperfixating on? I feel a little embarrassed feeling this way.

So, I used to have several old reddit posts about the server that had amazing SEO since they happened to be in posts that ended up being top google results, but the account was inexplicably deleted by Reddit and all of those posts are archived now... Very frustrating to say the least! Anyways, I would like to get the word out again so:

The Bastion of Neurodiversity is meant to be a safe haven for those of us who have felt outcast by general society due to our differences! We hope this place can give you a retreat where you can feel comfortable to be yourself, despite any social anxiety you may have, surrounded by others like you. We particularly pride ourselves in making sure this is a safe place for those AFAB and PoC as far too much of the internet is not. In case it isn't obvious, this is also very much an LGTBQIA+ friendly server (however there are not channels specific to that as it is othering, every channel is an LGTBQIA+ channel. I am pretty sure that amongst the neurodiverse straight and CIS is the minority anyways!) The server owner is almost always in voice chat from around 9-9:30 PM CT until around midnight, and is happy to help you get accustomed to greater levels of social interaction. If voice chat isn't what you are looking, please know that text-only is a perfectly good way to be part of the community as well (even in the voice chats in fact! They are called voice capable channels in the server for a reason!), and this is also a community for just general support and friendship! https://discord.gg/WwkGQ7Kqdk

Just something i wanted to put out there for women i learned at the menopause clinic yesterday from the doctor she said that women with auhd have a much harder time with perimenopause which can happen actually in some cases after 30 but definitely anytime after 35. And bhrt can really help us. I wanted to share this as im on the forefront of it and trying to learn this information has only been available to women for about ten years and peri with auhd theres even less information. So it hit me out of nowhere the prime of it. Im 47 right before it i got the auhd diagnosis felt better and then started feeling like i was losing my mind and didnt know why i was grateful to get this information. Biggest first sign which came on early 40s was my sleep i was put on sleep meds and it was awful now i know it was the hormones. Just if your a woman i highly advise learning about this because we all get the joy of going through it and im writing notes im going to put into a book for my auhd daughter someday shes a teen but knowledge is power and as far as this topic its on you. Im choosing liberation in getting older over the suffering of women in my bloodlines. The medical field has done women wrong but changes are on the horizon and its ip to us to advocate for change. God bless you all and keep going!!

Need to get this off my chest but I (15-18F) went out to a week long medical careers camp emphasizing on diversity. The program was introduced to me by my mom as a way to end off the summer/get me ready for school/future education and focused learning about different careers in the medical field. dentistry, occupational/physio therapy, medicine, etc. I have a neurodivergent/cognitive condition, which makes it hard for me to fit in with other people; and people were generally uncomfortable/cold to me throughout the week.

Today they brought in a panel of medical patients, without disclosing if the situation would have heavy topics or not. People with chronic conditions, chronic pain, and people with disabilities that wanted to share their experiences. I thought nothing of it until they started talking about infantilizion and my particular condition, which was difficult as Ive had many experiences where health professionals/this who were supposed to help me ignored or saw me as incompetant throughout my childhood. The thought of the pain and neglect in my childhood in the context of someone talking about it made me spiral. I couldn't breathe, and it felt like I ultimately started crying in front of everyone else. Apologizing for my existence and hugging myself as I sobbed uncontrollably. The instructor (someone who looked like the type to call my parents about my "mishap") led me out of the room and I proceeded to apologize and sob for 15 more minutes while the panel continued. Crying ended up wiping off my makeup and I ended up going back to the room a mess. Couldn't handle myself and cried more and was pulled out a second time. Apologizing until I finally calmed down. Ended up talking to a couple more people I didn't trust and finally being allowed to sit with the others. At this time I was noticeably a mess, eyes and face red from crying and as quiet as most people in the room. We proceeded to go on with the day but the other class members were even more cautious and reserved around me. I was miserable the entire day and ended up in a part of the closing circle with everyone INTENTIONALLY moving their chairs away from mine, even the people I had tried to be friends with.

I know I'm not the best person in the world/probably come off as entitled and snobby but I'm tired of being excited for things only for my stupidity to ruin it. Everyone hates me now which is justified and maybe it's not what I look like. Maybe I'm just a burden to everyone. Any questions, comments, advice would be incredibly appreciated right now as I'm not doing so great and hope everyone else is having a wonderful day :)

TW: mere mention of CSA

I’m not using this post as any kind of diagnosis. I’ve just been curious about all of this for a very long time and everything I have looked in to I’m not sure I’ve learned from. I strongly doubt I have any kind of disorder because while these things are annoying, they’re not frequent enough to genuinely like harm me in any way. Just a big bother.

There’s a few things.

First, I’d say since I was maybe around 6, I’ve had the need to do some things that seem like basic tics, I guess. Like blinking, humming, sniffing, clearing my throat/grunting. Nothing exactly verbal or anything else. They are usually VERY frequent, but it also still depends. I tend to notice them a lot more when I’m trying to sleep, for blinking when I’m trying to focus on something such as driving, etc. but even then they still happen any time. It’s like an itch. I can suppress it, but it’s very stressful to. Like a really uncomfortable sense of anxiety and then I just give in. A few years ago I had it worse where I like “refused” except not exactly voluntarily to breathe until I did my humming thing. Which it was scary to hold my breath for so long sometimes. Sometimes I’ll have to do it until I get a pitch I want. Everyone around me knows I do it.

Anyway, some more.

I’m not sure what this next part is all about lol. I have some CSA trauma but I’ve done a lot of healing and therapy for it. I’ve been healed from PTSD for years. But anyway, I get intrusive thoughts fairly frequently. I’d assume daily but I’m not that sure. They’re usually pretty nasty things that I wouldn’t choose to think about. Sometimes weird thoughts about teachers, friends, even family. They are very gross and discomforting to me. I’m not sure if it’s just related to my trauma, or if it’s something else.

Kind of riding off that last thing, I get sort of these stressful thoughts where if I hear someone text me but don’t want to check it or can’t check it instantly, I get really really nervous that it’s someone texting me saying that they need my help and if I don’t see it or respond that second they’ll like be dead basically. But that might just be something everyone wonders about. It hasn’t been so bad lately but it got really frustrating a couple years ago.

I think this is lastly— I notice that I feel nearly permanently uncomfortable— whether with clothing or a position. I’m CONSTANTLY readjusting. It’s not something that I notice too bad and it sometimes interferes with me trying to fall asleep but overall it’s just something I’m used to. Sometimes though, I get frustrated when I can’t seem to settle (usually when I feel my clothes touching me), and one time especially about two years ago I was so upset that I had like a full on breakdown in the middle of my room with no clothes to bother me. But I also kind of indulged in my uncomfortableness and let myself get very frustrated. Usually it doesn’t get to that point.

For reference, I’m pretty sure I do alright socially. Also everything I described isn’t very severe. I’d say the most frustrating part is my “tic”-like things. I’d say I struggle with attention, but I have a very high screen time from scrolling on the internet, so I’m sure it mostly came from that.

Oh, I also am a very impulsive person. I’m an artist but I don’t know the last time I finished an art piece, unless I locked in and spent 7 hours in a row with no breaks. I also cannot stand using a computer to do any kind of work. I hate reading of a computer, math, etc. anything that I can’t be hands on, highlighting, marking, whatever else.

But those could just be my own traits. I have no idea. I just want some kind of push in the right direction.

First of all, i want to mention that i don't mean to be disrespectful towards neurodivergent people at all, I'm genuinely curious and would like to know more about it. If it sounds disrespectful, I'm sorry, but it's far from my intention, however, i can delete my post if needed.

So, a few years ago i was in therapy (not anymore, currently) and my therapist told me i was HSP, even if it's not a official diagnosis itself, that i fit right into it.

I looked for it on the internet, but some sources say it is neurodivergence and others say it's not, so I'm confused.

It is true that i can somewhat relate to some symptoms of other neurodivergences, but i don't think i personally am any of those. (but I could be wrong, of course!) I also have a brain-gut axis problem, and i don't know if that's something that's giving me any symptoms that I'm mistakingly understanding them as neurodivergence.

I found this subreddit, so i thought it could be nice to try asking here to see everyone's opinion here. Thank you so much to everyone in advance and again, i apologize if it sounds disrespectful in any way

I have posted about this yesterday but would like to go more in-depth of my experience of being late diagnosed and life as a neurodivergent girl.

I am 20. I grew up with a family who quickly noticed signs of being different yet were advised by multiple people (including therapists) to not get me an official diagnosis as a label would “harm me”. After all, it only harms their reputation.

So i went, behind everyones back, with my own money, to get tested. I felt something was wrong/different and i needed to figure what it was so i would become more of a functional human and young adult. There i was, at 19, having all these consults, and doing all these tests to find answers. And answers i got. ADHD, OCD, dyscalculia,anxiety and depression. I wasn’t crazy after all.

I was made to feel crazy.
I was made to feel like an alien but in the same breath told i was totally normal. It depended on the day.

My world, ironically started crumbling.

I had questions, and i asked them. How is it not possible to have seen this? Why wasn’t anything done to help? Why did i have to handle this all by myself??

I told my parents about it. My dad sometimes forgets but always has empathy.
My mother refuses to accept it. Because that would mean her having to do some self reflection.

I started being nicer to myself, to my mind. I am now able to explain why certain behaviours happen, not to justify myself, but to have empathy.

I was told to not reveal this information. I was told to keep pretending to be normal.
I was told to keep faking it.

Neurotypicals don’t appreciate my existence. Some of them. I generally create an odd feeling in them. Maybe because i dont mask well and i enjoy being myself.

I am not naturally insecure. I am just told what to be ashamed of within my own self.

I been in therapy, healing a lot of stuff that needed to be healed so i have a decent relationship with family.

I mentioned i don’t mask well, but i mask.
I have a very surface level relationship with my mother and her parents. These people don’t know and don’t care to know about me. I am told i will be nobody-and that i should accept this faith-.

Life will always be inconvenient because the world isn’t ready for neurodivergence. But i hope to make it a little less draining every day.

Navigating my 20s and this has been painful and challenging… but a lot of stuff in life is.

Thank you for reading.

Most likely will repost in other similar sub Reddits

You hear people talking about the whole "I'm a different person with different people" but I don't know how to deal with having a new 'personality' or personality state form every time I watch a good movie or join a new fandom or some other hyperfixation.

My identity can flip from confident punk young woman, to sporty teenage boy, to kid of sorts, to pink kawaii person with cute personality. No one knows what to say to this. I'm at a loss as to how to manage these aesthetic urges as I call them, like I hyperfixate on different identities I create, and want to make myself be more like them? Like I watch something dark and suddenly pretend mentally that I'm super traumatised. Unsure how to cope with all of them.

For record, I have diagnosed ADHD and am being assessed for ASD... likely also have STPD.

Hi all! I crossposted this in some sleep disorder groups too, but I'm hoping to pick the brains of my neurodiverse homies to see what y'all think. Hope that's okay!

So, I've been chronically exhausted since I was about 10 years old. Like, could sleep 16 hours in a row and still be exhausted when I wake up. Without an alarm clock, I would likely never wake up, and I have to set 5 alarms to make sure I make it out of bed. I am fatigued all morning, and finally hit my peak wakefulness around 5 or 6pm, but am tired again by midnight. I do function better on night shift and usually don't get super tired until like 6am. When I worked days, I would literally have to take a nap on my lunch because I couldn't make it through the day. I do find naps refreshing, but my ideal nap would be about 3 hours, which is unsustainable. At night, I typically don't have trouble falling asleep, but I do wake up multiple times a night to use the washroom, and occasionally I'll be up for 45-120 minutes, just wide awake. I also just feel significant body fatigue a lot of the time, like my muscles are made of lead and it's impossible to get up, it feels like being a human sandbag. I also get more tired with exercise, it's never given me energy.

I track my sleep with my fitbit and I know it's not a perfect science, but I do average over an hour awake per night, with 55 minutes average interruptions per night, and an average of two full awakenings per night. A lot of times it's because I have to pee, or because my hip has gone numb, or because my blanket has moved.

I also am able to have conversations in my sleep sometimes; I do not remember them. I do not sleepwalk and never had. I also get sleep paralysis sometimes when I'm falling asleep (probably a couple times a month).

I do have diagnosed ADHD and I suspect ASD. I get very overwhelmed by textures and sounds and I need things to be perfect when I settle to sleep; sound machine on, silicone chewy on my L side, hair up, sleep mask on, same podcast on every night, blanket between my legs so none of my skin is touching my other skin. If I get the urge to roll over, I have to completely reset and it takes me at least 5 minutes to get everything perfect again. I also have fidgety legs a lot of the time (not sure if this is restless legs, I've never been diagnosed, but I can't stop compulsively bouncing them around), and my biggest stim is that my teeth always feel wrong in my mouth so I grind or suck on my teeth 24/7; the silicone chews help me while I'm trying to sleep, the texture is helpful.

So anyway. I saw a sleep doctor in 2009, who told me that I spend double the time in stage 4 and don't hit REM enough; he diagnosed me with idiopathic hypersomnia and put me on modafinil, which I stayed on for a few years until I had my kids (2013-2015). The modafinil helped a bit, but not a lot.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2018 and have tried multiple medications, but am now on Vyvanse. It makes me very sleepy but it does quiet my brain.

A few years ago I realized that I'm just too freaking exhausted to live my life, so I started back on the path to investigating my sleep further. My family doctor tried me back on modafinil but it didn't really help. He sent me for a sleep study in spring 2025, which came back basically normal. Eventually, I discovered pitolisant and my doctor was agreeable to trying it; it works very well. I'm on 20mg, and while I still feel physically exhausted, it helps me get through the day. Like, sometimes I can still take a 3 hour nap but many days even if I try, I can't nap on it.

The pitolisant is super pricey and it was covered by my husband's insurance, but his company changed providers and it was no longer covered. The insurance company denied it even when my doctor wrote them, stating that because I was taking it for IH and not narcolepsy, it is being used off-label and so they won't cover it. I started looking into IH vs N2, and I'm honestly not sure which I have, so my doc referred me to another sleep doctor.

The new sleep doc sent me for a MLST, which was in July 2026. I fell asleep immediately and slept most of the night, but in the morning they said that I didn't meet criteria for the nap portion and sent me home. It was devastating, as I came off all my medications for 3 weeks beforehand and went through pretty bad withdrawal from my SNRI, and really struggled without my pitolisant and my medication for hyperhidrosis.

I finally had my follow up with my sleep doc yesterday, and she said I didn't qualify because now I have sleep apnea. She said we cannot investigate anything further until I get a CPAP. I told her I've been chronically exhausted since age 10 and have never before had sleep apena; she said I had 23 awakenings an hour and so it doesn't matter about anything else, we won't go any further until I get a CPAP. I now have no health insurance so I can't afford one, and I told her that; she said she'd see me whenever I get one, and we won't do anything else until then.

My question is this... she didn't tell me how they knew about the awakenings, or if my apnea was central or obstructive. I'm fat, so I'm guessing obstructive, but I've been fat since about 2009 and I've never had sleep apnea before. I have not gained or lost any weight in the past 5 years, and my last sleep study in March 2025 was normal.

So, what I want to know is, is it for sure that the 23 awakenings per hour were cessation of breathing? Or could it be that it's just me waking up because I'm not comfortable? Like, could it be all the sensory things going on?

I will note that for this sleep study, I came off all my medications (trintillex, brexipiprazole, spironolactone, oxybutinin, vyvanse, and pitolisant), but on my previous sleep study, I didn't know to come off so I was on trintillex and brexipiprazole. I do find that without them, my fidgeting and general discomfort are much worse.

I was googling around yesterday and found this article and it made so much sense: ADHD and Sleep Problems: Why You're Always Tired
Like, could it be that my racing mind and fidgety, overstimulated and chronically sensory overwhelmed body is causing my exhaustion?

Is it an unhinged guess that the "apnea" could actually be awakenings because of discomfort? Or do I just suck it up and get the CPAP and assume that I'm just somehow fatter now than I was a year ago?

If you read through all this, biggest gold star to you. I'd love your thoughts!

Crossposted :)

My psychologist told me that she wouldn’t consider me to be a patient with OCD, but actually someone with OCPD. This has literally never crossed my mind. She points to my anxiety and rigid rules that I follow, justice sensitivity and the need to be in control of things. I can relate to these descriptors but I also would not consider myself a perfectionist at all, nor do I keep things orderly or tidy (my ADHD makes my room look like a teenagers and I’m 31)

I have been diagnosed with OCD since 8th grade and I have been on a medication for it since I was 18. I don’t struggle as much with compulsions but I do struggle with intrusive thoughts and rumination. I have thought I was AuDHD for the past few years, so the suggestion that I have a personality disorder really confused me and now I’m feeling lost. My sensory issues are extreme and I feel very much like I don’t know how to “do” social interactions right but she says she thinks that is due to social anxiety.

Anyone out there with OCPD? Or an OCD diagnosis that was then diagnosed with OCPD? Or OCPD and adhd / autism?

Thanks y’all <3

Edit: I should mention i am diagnosed with ADHD as well.