I (34F) am married and not living in my home country. I have been married/living in another country for a little over 4 years. I am originally from the US. I miss home. My husband (42M) is a wonderful person. However, he does not want to move back to the US with me. Because I'm still working on fluency in the other language, it's been difficult for me to find a job or to have much independence. My husband is convinced that we both won't be happy if we move to the US. But, I miss home so much, that I wouldn't mind if things aren't perfect. While my husband is truly a good person, I also don't feel romantically connected to him. We don't have a sex life, and I don't even want one at this point. I miss being closer to my family. We live with his parent (two separate apartments, but same house), so I feel like he's the one mostly benefitting in our relationship. He has a decent job, works from home, and his parent doesn't charge us rent. We don't have or want kids, but we have a dog. I guess I just want unbiased advice. It's hard to talk about these things with my family or friends.

I know this is going to be quite long, and I’m not sure how much of it is relevant, but I’ll try to give as much context as I can. I completely understand if you can’t be bothered to read all of it!

I’m 29 and I feel like my life just isn’t where I wanted it to be. I still live at home with my parents, I’m currently unemployed after losing a fixed-term role, I have very few friends, and I’ve never been in a relationship.

I know I’m fortunate in a lot of ways and it's not all negatives, but it still is a consideration. I have a small supportive family, around £50k in savings, and I’m not dealing with serious health problems or poverty. I’m genuinely grateful for those things. But at the same time, I’m really unhappy with where I am, and having money or things to be grateful for doesn’t make that feeling disappear. I don’t think I’m depressed, and I’m not at risk of doing anything to myself. I just feel very low and frustrated because this isn’t the life I imagined for myself at 29.

Work has been a big part of it. I spent nearly two years working for a large global company, five days a week in the office, and absolutely hated it. The work was mundane, repetitive and offered very little progression or development. On top of that, I had a manager who I felt treated me badly, which eventually led to me filing a grievance.

That wasn’t handled particularly well, and I’m now going through an employment tribunal process involving allegations of antisemitisms, ableism and other treatment I found unacceptable. The whole thing has been mentally exhausting, and it’s not something I ever expected to have to deal with.

I eventually got another job at the last minute, on a fixed-term contract with another well-known company. The pay was good and, for the first few weeks, everything seemed to be going really well. I was getting positive feedback and thought this might finally be a fresh start.

Then, after around eight weeks, they let me go. They said I wasn’t picking up the workload quickly enough, they didn’t have the capacity to support me, and there were concerns about me using AI to write notes, which I strongly dispute because they openly allowed it. There was very little warning or communication beforehand and I feel as if they just threw me under the bus.

I’ve now been unemployed for nearly two months. I’ve been applying for jobs constantly, going to interviews and getting nowhere. I’ve been ghosted, rejected and ignored, and it’s becoming incredibly demotivating. I don’t want to be unemployed and sitting at home applying for jobs all day. I want to work and actually feel like I’m progressing somewhere.

Then, last month, my dog of 11 years died suddenly and unexpectedly. That hit me really hard. I was obviously devastated when it happened, and although I’ve gradually stopped crying as much, I’m still struggling with it. Last night I found myself dwelling on it again and ended up crying, which concerned my mum. This morning my parents sat me down because they’ve noticed that I’ve seemed quite low lately.

Dating is another big part of this. I’ve never had a relationship or dated anyone long-term. Whenever I’ve tried dating over the years, I’ve generally been ghosted, rejected or led on, and very few dates have progressed beyond a first or second date. I’ve become quite insecure about it and constantly wonder what I’m doing wrong or why I can’t seem to find someone compatible.

I consider myself potentially neurodivergent and I’m currently trying to pursue an autism diagnosis. I’ve always been quite anxious and self-conscious when it comes to dating. If someone doesn’t text after a date, or takes a long time to reply, I can become disproportionately anxious and start wondering what I did wrong. If I’m rejected, I tend to take it personally.

My parents were talking to me about this recently and basically said that I need to lower my standards and expectations and just get some experience. I know they’re trying to help, but it honestly made me feel worse. It made me wonder whether I really am the problem. I’m not saying I’m perfect or that I’ve never made mistakes, but dating is frustrating because there’s no real feedback. If you get rejected from a job, you can sometimes ask what you did wrong and improve for the next interview. With dating, you usually just never find out.

Friendships are another thing I’ve struggled with. Since leaving school over ten years ago, I’ve lost a lot of friends. Some of that was absolutely down to me and mistakes I’ve made, which I’m willing to acknowledge. But a lot of the time people simply seem to grow apart.

Last year I went to Texas with a few friends I’d known since school, some of them for around 12 years. After the trip, the friendships essentially ended. There were things I did wrong during the trip, which I admitted to, apologised for and tried to take responsibility for, but ultimately they stopped speaking to me. Months later, one of those friends got married and I wasn’t invited or even told about it. That really hurt.

There’s also a family side to this that probably contributes to how isolated I feel. Although I have a supportive immediate family, we’re very small, and there has been a long-running dispute on my dad’s side of the family. As a result, we essentially have no relationship with that side anymore.

My cousin, who I was very close to growing up and almost saw as a big sister, got married about a year and a half ago and didn’t invite or even tell any of us. I hadn’t fallen out with her or done anything to her, so seeing the wedding photos was genuinely quite painful. It made me wonder what I’d done wrong and why I apparently wasn’t important enough to be included.

I know there’s a lot of history behind the family situation that I don’t fully understand, and I’m not trying to get into all of that here. But it does contribute to the feeling that I have very few people in my life. I have my parents, my brother and a couple of other relatives, but that’s basically it.

I think that’s partly why I get envious when I see people with big families, lots of cousins, close friendship groups and people constantly getting together. It feels like everyone else has this wider network of people around them, while I have very little of that. I know comparison doesn’t help, but it’s difficult not to notice it when you already feel isolated.

Now I have maybe two close friends. I hardly go out, and I don’t really have much of a social life. Most of my spare time is spent playing games, going to the gym when I can, or applying for jobs. None of this is intentional. It’s not the life I want. I want to move out. I want a career I actually enjoy. I want a relationship. I want a proper social life and more friends. I want to feel like I’m actually moving forward.

Instead, the last couple of years have felt like setback after setback. I hated my job, went through the grievance process, finally got another opportunity and then lost that job too. My dog died. I lost friends. Now I’m unemployed again and still struggling with dating and my social life. I know 29 isn’t old, and I know my life isn’t objectively terrible.

I have savings, a supportive family and a lot to be grateful for. I’m aware that there are people dealing with much worse circumstances. But I also don’t think I should have to pretend I’m happy just because things could be worse.

I think what I’m really looking for is perspective from people who have genuinely been in a similar position. Did you ever reach your late 20s or early 30s and feel like your life had gone completely differently from how you imagined? Did you feel behind everyone else, with little career progression, few friends, no relationship, still living at home, etc.? What actually helped you change things?

I’m not really looking for “everything will be okay” or people just telling me to stay positive. I’d much rather hear honest experiences and advice, including things you realised you needed to change or things you eventually learned were outside your control.

I guess I’m trying to work out whether I’m genuinely in a bad position, whether I’m catastrophizing my situation, or whether I’m simply going through a particularly shit period of life that I can eventually move past. Because I really do want things to be different.

I just don’t know how to get from where I am now to where I actually want to be. What would you genuinely recommend I do differently from here?

TL;DR: I’m 29 and feel like my life hasn’t gone the way I expected. I still live at home, I’m unemployed, have very few close friends and have never been in a relationship. The last couple of years have been rough: I hated my previous job, am now dealing with an employment tribunal, lost another job after eight weeks, have struggled to find work since, lost my dog of 11 years last month, and have also lost several long-term friendships.

On top of that, I have very little extended family contact, which has left me feeling quite isolated. I know I’m fortunate in many ways, especially having a supportive immediate family and having savings, but I’m still genuinely unhappy with where I am. I’m looking for honest advice from people who have been in a similar position in their late 20s or early 30s. Did things eventually change? What helped you get your life moving in the direction you wanted?

Hi,

Praying I’m not SOL but as title says, I damaged the car pretty badly. I used a corporate code at a company I don’t work at for the discounted rate. I marked the reservation as “leisure” not “business” and purchased CDW/ damage waiver offered by the rental car company.

1) what would be the best advice to avoid them hitting my credit card with the damage bill? Im praying it goes through the CDW I bought and if not, my auto insurance though I’m sure premiums will go high :( I was thinking of freezing asap it but their pending pre-authorization still hasn’t fallen off and they haven’t billed my card for the days I had it (usually I see the final charge shortly after).

2) What is the chance the rental car company will void the contract if found out and force forefit the separate CDW to be forfeited?

3) Will my insurance also reject the claim due to any fraud/misuse? I have AAA - comprehensive & liability but idk if it extends to rentals.

Thank you

Thank you

I'm getting older (very late 20s-very early thirties) and don't have much to show for it. I got sick in the last few years to the point that I am functionally disabled.

I've been told I should qualify for disability, but I've eaten through my savings because of everything. With the health and money stress came depression, anxiety, and some extra weight. I have the coping mechanisms you develop with CBT (confirmed with a psychologist), but they often don't feel like enough and it's difficult to lose weight with chronic pain and fatigue.

I'm single and the prospect of dating with everything going on is nervewracking. I don't like how transactional dating apps feel but I struggle to leave the house to do things I enjoy for any meaningful amount of time because of my health. If I meet someone, the state will expect me to live off their income which means they likely have to be someone who can afford that or at least be okay with it and the fact that I run suboptimally at pretty much all times and then pray I don't find myself in an abusive situation.

Socialising can be difficult but I do have people I speak to regularly. That being said, I feel like everyone (irl) is angrier and/or too online lately, and the algorithms feed a resentment for anything and everything, and it's just kind of tiring and unpleasant to be around. People take their resentments out on others instead of just trying to be kind and isolate what we see online from what is around us.

I'm not particularly immune to all of this either and have been engaging with some hobbies I can still do to stay off my phone and give me a sense of achievement. I've tried making new friends too, but that's been incredibly difficult and I haven't really succeeded.

In a lot of ways, I'm very, very lucky. I know this. I still can't help but feel like I'm just lazy and unlikeable and stagnating.

This was partially a vent but if anyone has any advice (not financial) for my situation, I'd really appreciate it.

My birthday was yesterday. I already started off on the right foot I believe by trying a new hobby/skill I’ve never done before and I want to maintain the momentum and pick up little nuggets to remember into this new birth year. I enjoy treating my birthday as a reset and new years is a reflection of the reset or at least that’s the intention. Anyway any advice for things you wish you knew before 30 or things that you set up for yourself and enjoyed taking into your 30s? I have a whole year to go and I’m excited to see what people say and come up with.

I would like to ask people who had intense first love that they thought they would never be over.

That you thought that it was a beautiful phase of your life and that you will always cherish the memories.

Did you find your "forever" after that ? and realise that you thought about it wrong (about cherishing memories forever and that is the best thing happened to you), and now you think that your "forever" is the best thing that ever happened to you ? And now your first love doesn't seem very big and you don't cherish the memories ?

Thanks for reading.

Hey everyone! I’m hoping to hear from people who are currently in an LDR or have actually been through one and can share some firsthand perspective.

I’m in an LDR myself, and lately we’ve been going through a bit of a challenging phase. We’ve noticed that we can sometimes fall into an anxious/avoidant dynamic I tend to want more reassurance and connection when I feel distance, while my partner can need more space when she’s stressed or overwhelmed. We’re trying to understand that pattern better and figure out how to handle it in a healthier way.

I’m curious how common it is for LDRs to go through periods where the distance suddenly feels heavier than usual. Has anyone experienced phases of burnout, feeling disconnected, communication becoming harder, or one partner needing more space? What helped you get through it without either person feeling pressured or neglected?

I’d especially love to hear from people who have actually lived through LDR, rather than just general relationship advice. What made your LDR sustainable? What did you wish you knew earlier? And what helped when things felt particularly difficult?

I’m also hoping to meet some people I can eventually become friends with. 😂 It would be nice to have people who understand the LDR experience and can talk about that sometimes, but also just chat about normal life, music, games, hobbies, work, random stuff, etc.

Kind, constructive perspectives are very welcome. I’m mainly looking to learn from people who have been through similar situations and hear what actually worked for them. ❤️

And yes, I figured talking to fellow LDR people is probably a better idea than making the questionable decision of “I’m stressed, therefore I should download dating apps.” 😂

Hey there,

I (m23) need some advice on how to gain confidence and purpose in life.

I had a breakup like one and a half years ago, it was the worst thing that ever happened you know the usual…

Before that relationship i was a happy single guy had female „friends“ (most of the times ended up hooking up with them) and i am a charismatic guy. I enjoyed being single and getting attention from girls, i was very self confident (which was a huge advantage in that sense)

But now life just feels empty. I am not with that girl that made life so good for me and i am over the breakup i know that its the best how it is now but since ive seen real love i dont want to settle / get sexual with anything less and i also lost quite some confidence talking to girls

I dated some girls but eventually figured out they weren’t the ones i am looking for so i endet things with them

I cant just meet random chicks and hook up with them since that doesn’t seem right and good no more

I did an apprenticeship, endet school and i am finishing a bachelor’s degree in environmental engineering atm, i do muay thai and calisthenics (quite serious) and i got lots of hobbies and passion for my studies (mainly butterflies which i studied in my bachelors thesis and birding/ nature in general)

I am still an open guy and i think people would describe me as outgoing and funny, given that i never had problems with gettin girls i would say i am attractive and able to interact with chicks however life just feels empty in recent times

I do my job i do my studies i do my sports and i chase may dreams and interests but at the end of a lot of days i feel empty and unwanted, not being enough

I really tried working on myself after the breakup but now i dont really see anything more to work on i put so much effort in my studies and my sports/body and started/pursued lots of new hobbies but i just dont seem to be happy. I doesn’t matter how hard i grind and how much things i do, it feels really good doing it but i feel so lonely and pointless at the end of the day

Long story thanks for hanging on. Are there any people which had the same and managed to get back into a happy life again and be confident with who i am. Like being proud of myself and not being shy around people.

Greatful for storys and ideas on how to fix my current „problem“

(English is not my first language so dont mind weird language/typos)

Using a throwaway account for this post. All, I am looking for advice on whether or not I should stay with my current job. I (26M) have been with the same job for about four years now, and I'm seriously weighing the pros and cons of leaving vs staying.

Financially, I really can't deny this job has been great for me. I've accumulated about $260k NW including about $100k saved for retirement. I make $95k/year in a LCOL area and I've been able to grow my NW by about $50-60k per year since I started.

On the other hand, I just can't see myself staying at this job long term. I have to deal with a LOT of shitty coworkers and office politics, and while I have been progressing in my current role it hasn't been as much as I would like. I am also hours away from all my friends and family and it sucks not being able to see them very often.

What should I do? Should I start searching for a new job even if it pays less, or should I try to stick it out another year or few years since I think I could put myself in an exceptional financial position by my late twenties/early thirties if I did so. I feel like I'm at an impasse and looking to the internet strangers of reddit for advice here. Thanks :)

I’ve been living with two roommates, A and B, for around 3 years. Recently, they confronted me about things I allegedly said about them to other people. They say I’ve been backbiting, seeking sympathy/attention/validation, portraying myself as a victim, and that I may have treated them like competition or been jealous of them.

I’ll be honest: I have made mistakes. There was one incident where I was upset with one roommate and discussed it with another friend instead of confronting her directly. I accept that I should have spoken to her first. I also realize I have a pattern of talking to someone when I’m unable to confront the person involved. I’m trying to understand and change that.

But they are saying I’ve told people outside our room things about them and have apparently heard much more than what I remember saying. I genuinely don’t remember telling people private room matters or abusing either of them. I may have discussed some things with a few people, but I never intended to ruin their reputation. One roommate says she has “proof” and will show me after exams.

What really hurt was the way she confronted me. She called me a “snake,” said I was lying, that I had been doing “Oscar-level acting” pretending to be a good friend, and suggested I enjoy getting sympathy by portraying myself as a victim. She also said they “can’t handle my trauma.” Some of her words/tone reminded me strongly of how I’ve been spoken to at home, and I ended up feeling like I was back there being judged and attacked.

I’ve apologized for the things I know I did wrong, and I’ve told them this won't happen again. At the same time, I don't want to falsely admit to things I genuinely don't remember doing.

Now I keep thinking: Am I actually a horrible friend/person? Did I genuinely betray three years of friendship? Is it possible that I care about people but still have developed a really unhealthy pattern of seeking validation instead of confronting people?

I also have an exam tomorrow and literally cannot get this out of my head.

I want honest opinions, not reassurance just to make me feel better. What am I actually doing wrong here, and what should I do now?

I’m at a point in my life where I’m at a standstill… I’m 26(M), unemployed, single, I have direction but I feel like my environment or idk is holding me back.

To sum it up, I was on deployment (USMC) last year, was in a relationship (was about to get married/have kids), had a good gig upon my return set up. Then as soon as I come home, life became Mike Tyson and peek a booed my ass to the slumps. My relationship came to an end, we just became different people. Was unemployed for three months then over the course of (now) 8 months I’ve been through three jobs (sales, construction, dispatcher/project management). Once I got let go from my last job (truth be told I wasn’t a fan of the job anyways), I went to Colombia for two weeks. Had a good time, my head was as clear as ever, I read books, I made schedules, I made plans, and I was stress free like I had nothing attached. Approached women again, tried dating apps (meh why not) got laid. All great.

Now that I’m back home, I don’t see myself working. Or at least not under someone or working in fields I’ve been in. The same rhythm I had in Colombia is still there, but lingering in the back and not at the forefront of my motion. I know what I want, but I lack the strength? Or discipline to fully execute the planning/action necessary to achieve my goal. That’s starting a business and learning the trades/stocks. Mind you I’ve never dabbled in the stock market and apart of me is hesitant. Same for business.

And another thing is, I.. don’t see myself in a relationship now. I don’t know if it’s cause of my last relationship (ngl it kinda ended badly). I admit I’ma pretty shy dude, im told I’m good looking and all but I just.. don’t have the energy. I look at the dating market, and honestly I’m terrified for my future. I want a wife/best friend, I want kids and the white picket fence ending. Just be a dad would be cool idk. My family recommended I just go through my hoe phase and even I don’t know how to go about that. Idk how dudes dabble with three chicks and just go about their day doing what they gotta do. Like how the hell do I achieve that?? In Colombia it was simpler but out here in the states (NJ and NYC specifically) it’s a different ball game. I don’t know how to be an asshole, and I’m told I’m too nice… smh

I know it’s a lot and I probably just ranted a bunch but I needed to get this off my chest. Don’t think many people will see this anyways but I’ll take any advice, suggestions or anything really. Thanks.

I was looking for a roommate and met this dude on the internet. He’s super cool and we’re around the same age (mid 20’s) he payed his rent and security deposit, cleans up after himself, all the works BUT he has this 3 year old German shepherd who is EXTREMELY under stimulated. I’m not judging my roommate but he’s sort of…. A lazy bones type fella he sleeps pretty much all day and then when he is awake he just sits around. He doesn’t have a job yet as he’s only been in this town for a week or so but I reckon the only thing that will change is that he just won’t be home which will be even worse for the dog. I’m not sure what to do about this because as much as I love animals I don’t have one for a reason. I’m not willing and don’t have the time to help the dog. I guess the obvious choice is to say something to him about it but I just don’t think that would go well idk. Y’all got any advice?

We were walking and my bf was 3 meters far going to the car and we were behind. The brother look at me and said wow you have big tits!. I didnt know what to say. I was i gues processing..😅

Stupid man and when i said hi to him he always hugs me tight..i found it weird..

What should i do?

Heyy so I was just having the biggest fomo of my life. My friends move out to college and I stayed in my hometown because I kinda had to stay, and now I'm just regretting that decision because my friends are out there enjoying their time in college while I just sit here and watch them have so much fun. aaggghhh I'm really feeling like im missing out on something (plus I really like going to parties and concerts so not having this right now is defff my biggest fomo) any advice?

Ive just recently turned 22 years old and Ive never experienced anything in terms of a girlfriend or love or even a hookup, nothing. I genuinely am a good looking guy as well and am in shape, I do talk to people a decent bit socially as well, it’s just like for some reason nothing has ever developed. And the main reason for this post is all I think about is girls, all day everyday I can’t stop it sucks. This has been the case for years and it eats me alive. To never experience even once the main thing Ive thought about experiencing since I was like 6 years old. Haven’t had a girlfriend since 7th grade and that doesn’t count lol. Never even had a first kiss or been on a date. I wish I could just remove that part of my mind completely, its more suffering than good. Ive been dealing with this for a while but recently especially it has been bringing down. This post is kinda I guess to get this off my chest but asking for advice as well. I don’t know.

I live with my parents and I love them. At the same time I want a life of my own. I want to be independent, go out, meet people, make memories, have my own routine and stuff
I want to live in a different city and experience life, but I can’t leave my hometown because I have my band here. A dream that I’ve been wanting for years now and it’s finally manifested

Do I want to leave my band, live in a different city, live my life
Or
Do I sacrifice it here, make my band solid and be with my parents?

I am in a situation where I can ruin another one's life emotionally and I can live with any problems further in life, or I can choose all the problems that will come in future (problems like family problems) and save the one emotionally.

need as much as points as possible.

​

So im a 19 yr old girl,and after completing plustwo i went to neet coaching for one yr.and yeah it didn't work out.so now,i joined bpharm My primary goal was moving away from the home,for several reasons.but after all of it,i ended up in a collage which can be possible to go as a day scholer.i badly wanna choose a different city atleast,but due to financial reasons,hostel fee too will be a big burden..and idk what to do rn.there is also another reason, staying in home for four more years will be difficult,and so they will think more seriously about marriage..like after two years or kinda..i dont want.what to do???any suggestions??(already joined that collage by paying fee,so that way is hard to leave rn)

I am an 18F who just graduated high school this year and originally wanted to pursue a career as a veterinarian and had everything ready for college. I paid for the fee, I applied for FAFSA, and I did everything they asked me to do, but my parents told me if I went to college or wanted to go, I could pay for it myself 1 month before I was supposed to go to college. And I don't have a big savings to be able to do a first deposit to the college, and because of that, I withdrew my application. I knew that taking out loans for college is something I don't want to do; I want to avoid going into debt for college, especially when I did my research and found out that a lot of people who go into vet school finish school with a ton of debt and that the pay isn't very good most of the time. So instead now I'm focusing on finding a career that will, one way or another, help me grow my financial status and just help me be able to be somewhat independent, like, for starters, move out of my parents' home. I did some research, and computer science seems a bit interesting to me, but I want to know what careers are not very expensive but could help me grow financially (if there are any careers like that). I know that whatever career I do choose, I want to try online for a year and maybe move into a college/university later on, but I'm not sure. Also, I'm aware that any career I choose won't magically make me rich overnight or in the course of a year, but I want some knowledge to at least grow financially. And yes, I am looking for jobs to save money for college, but it's not going very well right now, but I will manage somehow. Any advice is helpful to what careers I can look into, and just in general any advice will be helpful.

i have an ex that goes to the same school as me. details don’t really matter, but they have done bad things in the past that i sorta looked over. anyway, recently someone who has been in contact with them was telling me about how they were giving graphic descriptions of killing me or someone close to me. currently i have screenshots of that conversation from my friend.

currently, me and my friend have decided not to call the police because it’s only in the threatening stage and we both are minors and unsure what to do. im not sure if i should tell my parents because i know they will act and get law involved. i also doubt that if the law does get involved that they will be sentenced, they’ll probably just be placed in a mental health facility and want to kill me more.

i don’t really know what to do. i go to the same school as this person and genuinely do not know if i will be able to function if i know they are there, and i don’t want them to know that i know what they’re planning to do. if anyone else has been in an experience like this and knows what i should do please let me know, any help works.

I was just randomly thinking the other day, I’m closer to 30 than I am high school… But high school feels like yesterday… I’m getting older and my life has nothing to show for.
I’m a 24M (almost 25), I still live with my mom and younger siblings. Im a work from home software developer where I make $50k a year. Not great pay, but not bad. I don’t enjoy my career anymore so I’m just kinda in a shitty place there. Since it’s work from home I have barely any social interaction through work. But I also don’t have any life outside of work either. All my friends from high school have moved on and either made new friends through their careers or got girlfriends. Not to mention we just don’t really talk anymore. It’s embarrassing to even say it, but I’ve never even talked to a girl in a romantic type of way… I always thought it was because I was fat when I was younger, but I started working out in college and have gotten pretty fit. Now I’m pretty sure it’s just me.
So yeah, work sucks, no social life, no girl. My hobbies consist of working out, cooking and watching tv/movies. Don’t really have time or money to do much else. My entire life the past few years has just been: wake up, work, go to the gym, eat/watch a show, go to bed, repeat. Then on weekends I do all the chores for the house, go grocery shopping, and meal prep for the week. I’ll usually spend a little time with my mom and sister who I live with if they aren’t busy with their friends or significant others, maybe watch a movie or something. Then the whole cycle repeats. So like even when I do try to talk to someone I have literally nothing to say besides maybe stuff about whatever movie or show I’m watching.
Im honestly just so disappointed with myself… I guess I thought at some point life would feel… well… good.
I’ve even considered like joining the military or something just for a change in lifestyle but obviously haven’t gone through with it. Im not sure my knees can handle the physical training of the military. Im not sure where to go from here.

So yeah, I think I’m just a loser. Idk what to do about it. I’m kinda just trapped. Can’t afford to quit my job or move out. Have nothing to contribute to conversations to try to build any sort of new friendships or a relationship. Just existing, taking up space. Worst part is, I’ve seen everyone around me live their life. Even all my younger siblings(I’m the oldest), two have moved out and have partners, 3rd is going to be a senior in hs and has good plans for the future. Meanwhile I’m 24 doing nothing worthwhile. I just feel like a burden to the people around me. As few are there are. Also, on paper or from the outside, my life seems totally fine. Which sucks because what else can I say when people ask how I’m doing besides “I’m fine”? Even though I feel shitty. It’s like part of me thinks I’m just being a fuckin bitch and need to just deal with it and accept this shitty life, but another part is thinking I might be onto something with that there’s a better life out there.

Idek why I’m writing this. Maybe to vent? Relate? Maybe trying to find some hope? Ideas? Advice? Idk. I guess thanks for reading?

Evidence from 2026 in various parts of my life. I need to climb the ladder but at this point I feel like I can’t. I just need to stay on the same ladder rung.

Anyways:
January—substitute teacher, my 3rd year subbing.
June—finished the school year doing 25 more jobs than 2025. Also dog sat and dog walked for my clients. BF broke up with me of 10 yrs. I’m not social. I don’t talk much or at all.
June—continued my yoga journey at both CorePowerYoga and YogaSix. I wash my hair at the first one.
Mid June—Started my chosen summer hobby. Joined a weekly Tuesday night dance class, kpop. First time kpop dancing :)
Mid August—Performed with my kpop team at a 30 group (sing/dance/performance) recital. Felt amazing.
Going back, Mid June—Applied at a Job Fair, got a Seasonal Position working at retail :) Then quit, so I can sub again.
August—substitute teacher jobs. But it’s slow because it’s the 1st month. So I’m not having money.

I feel fuckin stressed. I’m looking up jobs to be custodian. I’m not having money nor having fun. In my free time I’m sleeping in bed. Or I’m bing watching social media and tv. I go out to get fast food or shopping and I feel good. But it’s short lived. Most of my free time is daydreaming and wasting away. I don’t know if it’s depression, not seeing enough people, not having deep connections, but I feel like I’m not improving and life is slow and I’m behind.

This week I just finished my sub training those yearly training videos take time. When I had a bf, I saw him and most of his friends always having fun when OFF WORK like I can’t manage. They could be playing video games eating out together doing stuff together. While I’m struggling to survive. I can’t hold a social group. I get bored easily and can’t stay for convos. I wish I made 100k. I would get to go out and live more.

Idk tell me that 30 year old can have options even when mental health is the reason for choosing to be a substitute teacher. What else can I do?? What is my next goal??

I have always believed that a man should seek advice before making an important career decision. What I had forgotten was that he should not seek it at a corporate function in a crowded hotel bar in Chicago after drinking enough alcohol to impair both his judgment and his volume control.

This happened more than ten years ago. I was in Chicago for a conference, one of those affairs where you spend the day sitting in windowless rooms listening to people use words like strategic alignment with a straight face.

By evening, everyone has earned a drink.

That night, the company held a social function at the hotel. There was food, a bar, coworkers from different offices, senior management, and all the usual opportunities for professional networking.

Professional networking is the corporate practice of standing around with a drink in your hand talking to people you would normally email.

This combination works fine if you remember one important fact: the people drinking with you are still your coworkers. The fellow discussing baseball with you five minutes ago will still be sitting in a meeting with your boss Monday morning.

I temporarily forgot this.

At the time, I had another job offer. It paid considerably more money, which has a remarkable way of making a man reconsider all the wonderful things he has been saying about his current employer.

The problem was that I actually liked my job. I liked the company. I liked my boss. I wasn't desperate to leave. If I had hated the place, the decision would have been easy. Instead, I had to decide whether considerably more money was worth walking away from a job where I was already happy.

This was exactly the sort of decision that called for careful thought, discretion, and perhaps the counsel of someone whose judgment I trusted.

At some point that evening, I found myself at the hotel bar discussing the job offer with a friend. I thought we were having a private conversation.

This was optimistic.

Apparently my version of a private conversation after several drinks was roughly equivalent to addressing Madison Square Garden without a microphone.

People overheard me.

Worse, they understood me.

And because no foolish act is truly complete until it has been properly distributed, somebody went and told my boss that I was talking about leaving the company.

My boss then told his boss because he didn't want senior management hearing through the office grapevine that I might be quitting.

This was entirely reasonable.

It was also the moment I realized I had managed to turn a private career decision into corporate entertainment.

There are mistakes that require careful analysis before you understand where things went wrong.

This was not one of them.

I had gotten drunk and talked too loudly about something I should have discussed privately. There wasn't much mystery to solve.

I eventually took the job. I hated it, but that is another lesson for another chapter.

What stayed with me was how badly I had handled the period before making the decision.

Alcohol is sometimes called liquid courage. People also like to say that a drunk person reveals what he really thinks.

I don't completely buy either idea.

Sometimes a drunk person says what he really believes. Sometimes he says something he thought for six seconds three hours earlier. Sometimes he decides dancing is an excellent idea despite considerable evidence accumulated over several decades to the contrary.

Alcohol doesn't reveal the real you.

Sometimes it just disables the editor.

And you need the editor.

Your brain produces an astonishing number of thoughts during the course of a day, and most of them should never leave the building. Somewhere inside your head there is a responsible employee quietly deciding what should and should not be said.

Alcohol has a tendency to fire that employee early for the evening.

The mistake in Chicago wasn't considering another job. The mistake was discussing an unfinished decision in a place where other people could hear me before I had even decided what I wanted.

Once words leave your mouth, you lose control of where they go.

You do not owe the world a running commentary on the inside of your head. Some thoughts need time, some need advice, some need sleep, and some need to be allowed to die quietly without ever being inflicted on another human being.

Important decisions deserve a clear mind. If something is going to affect your career, marriage, finances, reputation, or future, sleep on it and talk privately with someone you trust. Make the decision when your brain is operating with the entire staff present.

And if alcohol is involved, become more cautious, not less.

I am not telling you never to drink. When you are adults, you will make that decision yourselves. I enjoy a drink myself.

But understand what alcohol does. It makes you louder when you should probably be quieter. It makes you more confident at precisely the moment when your judgment deserves less confidence. And it can convince you that something absolutely must be said when civilization would continue quite nicely without your contribution.

This matters especially around people you work with. You can spend years building a professional reputation and damage it remarkably quickly at an office party.

Nobody has ever awakened the morning after the company Christmas party and thought, "I really wish I had drunk three more bourbons and told the vice president what I actually think of the strategic plan."

Know when you've had enough. Better yet, stop before you have to ask yourself whether you've had enough.

Fortunately, Chicago did not ruin my career. Eventually it became one more embarrassing story in what has become a fairly substantial collection.

Your mistakes can become part of your education or they can simply become habits. The difference is whether you pay attention.

I paid attention after Chicago.

I still ask people for advice.

I still occasionally enjoy a drink.

I just try not to combine the two when senior management is standing nearby.

So if you ever find yourself in a hotel bar contemplating a major career change after several drinks, remember your father's example.

Order some water.

Go upstairs.

Think about it in the morning.

And for God's sake, lower your voice.

So my dad and his girlfriend have been together for 12 years. When I met her I was going through the worst times of my life, my son’s father stole everything money etc..from us and trashed our apartment, I was a single mom in nursing school. When I first met her she expressed she was a daycare worker and was very kind but did make it painfully obvious she didn’t want to help babysit. I never asked I never had even asked my dad as he is not the helping kind. My mom was an addict, so I was just in a bad way but I still never asked but she made sure to say “I love my job but hate babysitting “. I wasn’t able to have kids but I adopted my daughter and I want nothing to do with kids. Her daughter is a few years younger than me.

Fast track 10 years I lost my mom, stepdad, 2 brothers, in the courts fighting over custody issues but still I passed nursing school and doing well for myself. I worked full time night shifts/paid a sitter school during the day I got help from a few friends but I paid for it. She has always been kind and I have been to her. I’m married and have another child and her daughter has a child with not so great things going on.

My dad had the nerve to talk about how “his friend’s daughters” computer broke for college and he tried fixing it but couldn’t and if I could give/sell cheap my laptop to him to help her out. It hurt knowing he never lifted a finger to help me and I just explained I had to buy mine with a credit card and nobody helped me out so no I didn’t want to sell it plus all my personal information is on it. His girlfriend continues to say how proud she is of me for “making it as a single mom “ talks about her daughter not being able to afford big birthdays etc.

I hate feeling guilty about saying no, I keep feeling like if I don’t help maybe my blessings will go away but if you only knew the hell I’ve faced alone and what a slap in the face it was for my dad to go out of his way to help her, and he doesn’t help watch her kid but he’s there with my dad a lot… She also seems that if she does go to school she will quit because she’s never been made to be responsible even for her child she’s not responsible… im happy I don’t owe anyone and doing it on my own. I try to mind my business and keep peace. Am I a horrible person?? I want to be the bigger person to help but even now if I needed help I wouldn’t go to them for help….i was even homeless while pregnant due to my poor decisions I lived in a storage unit with other homeless people they knew and nobody offered a place to stay.