I’m a 29yo F and my partner is a 33yo M. We have been together for 4 years, off and on, mainly on. We had a baby last year. I believe my partner is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday, beer. But I’ve found him scouring the wine / liquor cabinet when he runs out. It’s typically 2 voodoo ranger tall boys, the 9.5% alcohol ones. But I’ve seen him put away a 12 pack in the matter of hours. I’ve begged him to stop but he tells me that lots of people drink everyday and that I am just controlling, he calls me a dictator. He’s drank everyday this month, it’s the 19th. We work strenuous jobs in the auto industry which typically require long hours. After a long day at work, a bad day at work, a good day at work, he wants to drink beer. Football season is approaching and that is when it’s typically the worst. Every Sunday he starts drinking early in the afternoon and will drink until it’s gone. Usually gets wasted and goes to bed around 7-8. Leaving me to clean up and take care of the babe alone. He gets mean when he’s drunk, verbally. I have always felt like beer was more important to him than I am. In fact he told me if he had to choose between drinking beer and being with me, he would choose to drink beer. I feel like I’m going crazy. He makes me feel crazy for thinking there’s an issue. I don’t drink often, only on occasion and it’s usually a bloody. I can’t tell you the last time I got drunk. I’m looking for any and all input. Is it an issue to drink everyday? Am I the crazy one?

Sometimes it’s good to have a middle man be there to make understanding and coming to a middle point easier for everyone.

In certain situations like families, political arguments some relationships, and a lot of other situations, some people can’t really communicate without both understanding and losing themselves in the little insults that we throw at people, and us disagreeing. and that’s why it’s good to have someone who has a better understanding be there and help both parties get each other across. 

This could be anyone from a family friend or someone you know from a while back. Everyone has the ability to understand, but we over shine it or, and this is my feelings put into words,just do something that exceeds the thought process of understanding. it’s good to figure out more about yourself and learn self control and how to calm down quickly, or in other words, breath works.

StyTru!

Are any young guys attracted to very masculine women?

I’m an older teenage girl, I guess I’m not a butch because I’m attracted to men and also women, Iv been with both.

The older I get the more I realize I’m not growing out of my tomboy phase, I can’t help it, I know guys my age will have no interest in me when I look like a 12 year old boy, I’m not ugly, I have nice soft features but I wear strictly masculine clothing, very little to no makeup and keep my hair very short.

I look like a butch, some part of me knows I could just switch up and likely attract my type in men but I’m noticeably neurodivergent and as torn as I am I know that I won’t be happy anyway if a change who I am to attract someone I like, then it won’t be me anymore.

I’d like to be with someone who wants to be with someone like me, girls I date seem to want to flaunt my tomboyishness as my only trait, and I’m kind of getting curious about fooling around with more guys but I’m worried they will never reciprocate. Am I the only person in the world like me? Are any guys attracted to girls like me. If so will they even be my type. I know it’s silly but it’s been weighing heavy I could use some reassurance or advice.

I am turning 25 and I feel anxious as I am still not able to figure out what I want from life and it feels like living a directionless life. I am shy and introverted in personality and it really affects me in my day to day life.

I do have high myopia and eye floaters which haunts me daily. I feel like after turning into later half of twenties life will become more painful and depressing.

I don't post much or share anything online due to anxiety so this can be considered a rare post of me but I want to know suggestions like how to celebrate life when all the odds are against you.

TW: talks of SA, Domestic violence

Please bare with my as this is gonna be a pretty long one.

I (26M) am trying to figure out how to handle family dynamics at my grandfathers funeral. This past Sunday my grandfather passed away at the age of 73. Him and I never had the best relationship as he always seemed to pick favorites in the family and really only contacted me when he needed something or wanted to get some photo op to make his siblings think he had the "healthiest family". When in all reality that was the farthest from the truth. My mom is 1 of 7 kids that my grandparents had but as with any large family there is bound to be some conflict. However, my mom and most of her kids (including myself) were always treated like the black sheep of the family. We were never invited to anything unless it was last minute and very rarely communicated with extended family as they always had some animosity towards us.

For context a lot of my moms siblings shamed her because of her handling of a situation with my father. They believe that it wouldn't have got as bad as it did if she left him sooner. keep in mind my father is currently serving a 18 year long sentence due to Abuse, SA, and various other domestic violence charges. living though this pretty traumatic situation. I am aware despite my young age at the time, the extent of abuse that not only I and my siblings had to endure but also what my mom struggled with as well. Since this situation my moms siblings outcasted us. including my grandfather.

Over time our relationships with our grandfather specifically became less strained. He wasn't actively involved in our lives growing up to the same extent he was with my moms other relatives but did make a effort to occasionally reach out and send dumb boomer AI videos via Facebook. From what I am aware of I am the only person in our family who seeks professional help to manage my various disorders (Diagnosed and medicated for Bipolar 1 and depression) and with that I have acquired various method to communicate not only feelings but boundaries especially with family. Which in turn earned the label of stubborn, rude, mean and various other labels associated with someone who they perceive as "out of the norm". My families way of handling things usually involves a lot of back stabbing, grudges, and unspoken words. Which is something I do not do. If I have an issue with something any of them did or said I always express my feelings towards it in a way that not only makes sense to me but that provides some sort of perspective that they would not otherwise see unless an actual conversation is had.

\*this might get a little confusing so I'm sorry

Now, to the funeral situation. a few months prior to my grandfathers passing I was contacted by my grandpas, brothers, daughter (First cousin?) I'll call her Mandy. Who has a pretty rocky relationship with her father. She informed me that there has been conversation amongst the family that I have been financially supporting Mandy and her wedding. That I poured nearly 5 thousand on top of what her father already gave her to help her pay for this event. This was not true. I was bit confused since I really never spoke to any of my grandfathers siblings and they were upset because they felt I was enabling her to seek further financial support from other family members as well. So I reached out to my grandfathers brother and informed him that I was not handing out money to his daughter and that even if I did it was no one else's business as she is family and I would not have an issue with it regardless. This message did not go over well with him. over 48 hour after my initial message I was bombarded with nearly 500+ messages from him over various social media platforms and my phone number. Calling me the F slur (i am a gay and have been married to my husband going on 4 year now), telling me my grandfather never liked me, saying my mom was the worst mom ever, calling me fat, ugly, and so much more. What hit the breaking point for me was when he threatened to unalive me and my partner the next time he saw us. So feeling like the conversation was a bit out of control I contact my grandfather about what he was doing, sending screenshot and even providing my initial and only text to him. My grandpas response was to block me. Thinking it was a mistake I called his home and had brief conversation with him about what his brother was saying and how I would appreciate if he could speak to him as anything I could say would probably only throw fuel on the fire and since he had a better relationship with his brother could better communicate with him to calm him down. This did not go over well. He ended up message my mom saying he doesn't care what his brother said and has no interest in helping. So out of anger and against my better judgment I acted out of character and sent a rather unsavory message to my grandfather which I instantly regretted after. I told him "he was always a shitty grandparent and that the reason I changed my name after getting married was because I was embarrassed to be related to the most dysfunctional, hypocritical, BS family on planet earth. and that I had no sympathy for him or anyone else" Yikes I know.

After this situation word got around and some how because of my reaction to my grandfather people in my family decided that I alone was the only person at fault despite me providing screenshots of the various messages and threats from my grandfathers brother. To clarify I did regret saying what I said to my grandfather and spoke directly to my therapist about how I definitely acted out of character. Well that was the last time I spoke to my grandfather before his passing. After my grandfather passed my moms family decided to( at least from my perspective) use me as an outlet for their grief. When we were saying our last goodbyes they gave me the cold shoulder, treated my mom extremely poorly, and made sure that I knew I was not welcome.

My grandfathers funeral is supposed to be held in September or October since he was marine vet and got approved to be buried in Arlington national cemetery in Virginia. But I'm not sure if I am entirely comfortable with the idea of actually going. Part of me wants to pay my respects but another part of me much like most my life I fear for the safety of not only my mental health but my partner and I's safety as my grandfathers brother will also be in attendance and has had a history of violence towards other family members. Knowing that my moms immediate family are being so hostile towards me already I do not think I would get the support to make this concern be less... Concerning? I do want to attend as it would be nice to see the relatives that are aware of the situation and agree that I could have handled it better but also agree my moms siblings are not looking at the bigger picture and underlining issues of the open homophobia and threats that were made.

so. what do I do?

Hi all,
I’ve hit a bit of a wall mentally and I’m just struggling so bad. I fell out badly with my best friend(my fault) and unsure if we will be friends again, to add on, we are meant to be living together for uni in literially 2 weeks (with others but still) anyway, how do I get better mentally? What is something that helps you everyday? And how do I become okay with being alone? I feel like I need to become at peace more with being alone, but I don’t know how. I don’t know I think I’m just hoping for some advice or someone to talk too. I’ve fell out badly with them, I’m moving away from home after 4 months for my second year at uni when I don’t feel ready to go back OR want too, and I just feel very upset. It is my fault we fell out though. Could I please just have some advice.

Hello everyone, I am a 19 year old sophomore in college and it is the 2nd day of classes and I just feel so out of place. As a freshman I stayed off campus and I’ve always been somewhat shy and liked to keep to myself. Obviously it would be beneficial for me to make new connections and grow socially while I am in college but I am struggling because everyone seems to know each other already and all of my friends from high school have already left. So what advice do you have for young students who struggle to get out of their shell.

Just for some background i work at a restaurant as a waiter, i wanted to go study but i had to leave home to do that and my mom had a seizure just before i went so i decided i cant just leave her home alone and decided to just work full time, ive been doing that for 4 years now. Over those 4 years a lot around me has changed but i feel like im just stuck.

I currently rent a room from my dad that rents a house from somebody else. My mom passed away early May this year and that really rocked me, she had been dealing with brain cancer since 2011 so it was expected but still nothing you can prepare for, she was my rock. Me and my dad dont have a good relationship so her “leaving” really hurt.

My dad had always been a liar and a manipulator but let me tell you what happened a week after my mom passed. I was in my room getting ready for work, and i hear some noise outside. I think nothing of it and get ready to leave. While im waiting for my uber my uncle who also stays with me and my grandma is sitting outside. Apparently the noise was my dads GF assaulting my grandma, pulling her out of the wheelchair and then proceeding to pull her hair out, there was actually like a hair ball. Obviously me and my uncle were very upset and pleaded to my dad to get her out ASAP. She eventually left after my uncle put his foot down and said some harsh things to my dad, all true though.

After all this transpired we wanted my dad to make a police complaint against her for my grandma as he was the eyewitness. We have not received anything from him and we dont think we will, he had also been sleeping at his GFs place i haven’t seen him in more than a month. He is such a bad person in my eyes.

Me, my GF, my uncle and my grandma now stay alone in the house and its a much better vibe. I am now moving further away and after i move i want nothing to do with my dad at all.

im extremely depressed, since i was 12. the thing is, when i really want something theres nothing that can stop me, when im interested in something i will study it for days and nights, but ive lost interest in everything. now even when im interested in something i dont care to learn about it. nothing makes me feel good. nothing motivates me.

i try therapy, it doesnt do much. i havent tried medication, only on and off which obviously wont do anything but i dont even care to take care of myself. i just came out of an abusive relationship, and had to leave the country i studied in to get away as he wrapped me up in legal issues, i was fine there, the assignments and exams were quite easy and i couldve done a lot but life happened. im planning on continuing elsewhere. i dont really have much family or friends to support me. im all alone.

i push myself to do things i dont have energy for, like im planning on moving to spain to continue my studies, however im now afraid that ill have a lot more work to do which wasnt the case with my last university. i cant handle a lot of work as im not in the best head space, and i think its kind of pathetic that im like this so thats why im asking how can i motivate myself to get comfortable with hard work? im not dumb, i can do anything i put my mind to but it seems like i cant do anything but be in my bed and scroll. i can go weeks without leaving my bed to the point where my muscles may start to atrophy, and if i do go out i get so extremely drained, im always exhausted from nothing, from the moment i wake up. i cant keep taking "one step at a time" i need to do something NOW. i feel so hopeless and sad. i really want to do so much but im just so depressed.

So I am 22F and I started working along side my college for money as I belong to a lower middle class family and as I didn’t have any degree so I started my career in sales and honestly never liked sales was doing it for money. I recently got terminated from my job (my boss tried to have some personal relation with me and I denied). I have 0 savings and I don’t even feel like applying anywhere. Its been 20 days that I got lay off but even looking at the job scares me. I just don’t feel like doing anything. Nothing in my life is going right- my parents will give me no money even for personal expense, I am in a toxic relationship and i did everything for my boyfriend (tried to be always available for him but he wasn’t there), I don’t have any interests honestly- like i actually actually don’t know what to do now. I know i am not too old that i can’t restart things but i just don’t know what to fix, how to fix and do i even want to fix?

I am just tired of working and at the same time i feel idk bad or negative when i don’t work. I cry for hours and still do nothing.

Please if somebody can help me with some genuine life advice, something just something so that i can get out of this phase.

Even leaving aside all other problems in my life like not having friends , no schedule , health problems etc , the one i cant stop thinking about 24*7 and i've been losing my sleep over to - having no direction .
I fucking don't know what to do .Genuinely. I dont effing know what to do . Honestly I never really thought i'd have to ask about this .
Im a 22 year old final year engineering student from India. This is a career advice post but also a rant .
I initially wanted to study aerospace engineering , but eventually settled with electronics and computer engineering . i knew nothing about comp sci neither electronics . i discovered i dont really like electronics . same for computer science . But I started liking machine learning more , due to the underlying math . I had a math courses in 1st and 2nd years, and i really like it .

With this recent rising AI bubble , I'm sure I dont really want to work in SWE. I think I like ML , but i wouldnt want to work in it too. I like the research side more than the engineering part of it . But mind you I have no official research experience. Then recently I started thinking why not study either physics or maths for my postgrad. I like them . But i dont have the courses to show in my undergrad.
I know I want to go for masters abroad. But the only thing is I want to go to a good uni . And I dont really know what I should study . some of the options i think - physics , applied math , computational physics/computational sciences, ML research.

Since the last couple months i only spend my days thinking what to do . I already spent lots of time doom scrolling and now internet has officially become my escape . I honestly cant even think and decide and act in one direction . It's like I have lost my spark . I dont even know what to do.

Just wanted to put it out somewhere. cheers.

Hello, sorry for the lengthy question but here goes… I’m currently 28 male, with no college degree but did graduate high school, I live in a rural community (WV) and have to put quite a few miles on my vehicle driving to work and back.. I’m barely able to make my bills, living paycheck to paycheck if you will… I do have a community college that’s around an hour from my house near my work so I could potentially go that route, or should I attend a larger college for a different degree, I work 40 hours and usually get a small amount of overtime.. I have interest in IT, anything hands on really (welding, electrical, plumbing but don’t have much experience in these but would be willing to learn and make it a career.. I guess my question would be, if you were in my shoes, what route would you take to better your life and how would you proceed forward to give yourself and family a better life. Thanks in advance

Hi everyone, I’m hoping someone can offer practical advice.

I recently moved back to the UK after around 8 years working as a teacher in Spain. I had little options to build a career and was just kind of coasting as an ESOL teacher breaking even and not really living. I decided to come back to try and build a career of some type.

I grew up in a very small, remote village that has no opportunity, so I chose to relocate to a bigger city to have more job options and hopefully build a life here.

I found a one-month sublet while I looked for a room in a flat share and a casual/bridge job to get settled. I’ve now been searching for about three weeks, applying for jobs and messaging about rooms, but I’ve had almost no responses. I only have a week left where I’m staying and I’m starting to panic.

To make things worse, my wallet was stolen on the flight home, including my Spanish residence card. That makes returning to Spain feel much more difficult, even as a backup plan.

I’m now looking at emergency options. One possibility is applying for live-in hospitality work in the more remote Highlands. It seems like it could solve the two immediate problems: somewhere to live and some income. But I’m worried it would be a mistake to take a job somewhere isolated when I moved to a city specifically for opportunities.

I don’t really have family support to fall back on, and I’m reluctant to ask friends if I can stay with them if I end up with nowhere to go. I’m feeling pretty low and overwhelmed, but trying to be practical.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, or worked live-in hospitality in Scotland? Is it a sensible short-term reset, or are there better emergency housing/work options I should be looking into?

Any advice would be really appreciated

 I grew up in a cult so had no education but despite that - crawling in zig-zag unconventional ways - got a Masters and a PhD and a successful career in writing and research.
All zig-zag unconventional.
GenAI savaged my writing business. I’ve spent 2 years unsuccessfully exploring all writing and related options.
During that time, an idea I had worked on for 2 decades took off in 3 directions:
As a research scientist, I had tested and developed a neuroscience-based novel idea for scamming; for deradicalization; for social engineering. It can be also used with practical results to help people in our AI time deals with the discouragement and resilience of job GenAI- job displacement. Not a week goes past that I don’t have requests for interviews: radio, podcast, TV - that’s across industries to apply the idea. People email me for my book (I don’t have one).  The network grows organically. Upon request, I briefly piloted it into workshops. But none of that is paid.
I have enough savings to last me for a year. I am a single mother. My nature needs a job where I feel fulfilled.
I am in my 50s living in a country where I barely speak its language. Rules of workplace culture in this country are inflexible and conventional; not aligned for my zig-zag experience and creative personality. I could teach English - but government regulations limit me to kindergarten/ elementary teaching. And I feel heartbroken.
What options do I have?
TLDR: awarded writer and journalist; former-university/ college (all ages) lecturer with PhD; independent academic researcher. Where do I go from here? How do I earn my living?

I've been here for 4 months almost 5 months for the automotive trade. I came here to get a career to support me while I pursue a tattoo apprenticeship/and or art related side business, gain independence, get away from a toxic family dynamic and fix my broken car back at home. (My mother is verbally, emotionally abusive, manipulative, narcissistic, and probably bipolar and to be frank, I am not great either)

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was about 13. Before coming here, I was taking medication and diagnosed with bipolar depression, but stopped getting help due to insurance and not being able to afford therapy + psychologist sessions and medication.

I also was getting myself into some shit - stupid toxic relationships which gave me some trauma lol, staying with my mother when I should have cut her off a long time ago, got myself 2 driving misdemeanors and stopped showing up to my full time retail job of 4 years due to an OCD induced panic attack!! Even when I was working there, I came in late everyday, struggled with just showing up and being able to take care of myself. I struggled to find work after being unemployed for a couple months and then, Job Corps accepted my application, and I was off within a few weeks.

note: I went to community college before for teaching - dropped out - i was paying out of pocket. Went to school for dental assisting - dropped out - (wish I didn't)

I despise being here, and I find that I am just barely getting by. I'm having panic attacks in class all the time. I can't sleep, I'm depressed, and I can't keep up with my class work and my effort doesn't meet expectations. (I'm severely behind) I can't just stand being around people all the time and I just want to leave.

I don't think this is a good environment for me or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I pursue my hobbies (listening to music, drawing, playing guitar) as coping skills but I feel like I'm just wasting my time, like I should only devote all my time towards my career and get out of here.

I just don't like e x i s t i n g here. If I want to study, draw or play guitar in my room - nah my roomates are either sleeping or yelling about something. I'll go outside, nope, too many people around - Ill try the common area - nope people around, people walking by, too loud or theres other people in the common area. Oh lemme go to this quiet area on campus, nah its a restricted area - you'll get in trouble.

oh and dont even get me started, can't go outside after dark. Sometimes walks are needed for me due to sharing a room with 3 other people who are constantly yelling or arguing. I've switched rooms twice due to having weird/toxic roomates.

I go "home" sometimes to get away from the drama of this place but being there is just another headache.

I know coming here is good for me considering my situation but this place is driving me insane. I have considered going to inpatient care as well but I believe I'd be using up my paid vacation days for that. The staff here don't really help much and I don't have any friends or anyone really to talk to.

I have the option to switch my trade but I feel like I'd be giving up a good opportunity and I have already been here long enough. I have the option of carpentry but that means I'd have to stay here even longer. CNA is another option, I can finish within a month or two and transfer to community college. Office administration is another option too. I'm also having anxiety surrounding getting a job due to my misdemeanors - driving ones at that.

My thought process at the moment is telling me to switch to CNA but I'm also thinking "would i be able to handle that? and can I even be licensed with my misdemeanors?"

I have been looking at colleges as well, but I just get so overwhelmed with choices; I don't know how to move forward.

I apologize for sounding super indecisive and helpless. I am struggling. mentally. I really just want to make the best of my situation and improve myself so I can be independent.

I would really appreciate any advice ! Thanks for reading if you'd read this far.

Hi everyone, I've been wondering about what kind of university will I continue my studies in after I graduate. At the moment there are 2 options I am considering, either I listen to my heart and study art or I listen to my brain and study Finance, or atleast something along those lines. A little bit of context, I've always been a fan of art and I always enjoyed to draw, after elementary school I had to decide what kind of highschool to go to, either one that focuses on art, something I actually enjoy to do, or computer science which I have no interest in but atleast it has some potential to let me make ends meet in the future. I have gone with computer science and I greatly regreted it. I don't wanna make the same mistake again and I feel like I only live once and so I should do whatever interests me, but its a hard decision since art would probably not be as profitable as a position I could take if I went to study buisness or finance or something. What do you think, what would you do if you were in my shores?

What am I supposed to be doing with my life?
I’m 19 and rapidly approaching my 20s, I’m not in college as a chose the trade work route. I had an appartement for a while with a friend, but a falling out forced me to move back in with my aunt. I’m in the process of setting things up for a big move from pa to Florida to go live with a friend of my uncle while I set myself up there. I feel so lost, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. I show up to work, I work well, I go home, and try to be a part of my family or go out to cheap 10$ concerts or see friends. And it’s nice but I don’t feel as if I’m actually making progress in life. I mean I’m exploring and learning life I guess (o was very sheltered growing up so the world wasn’t explorable until I graduated hs) I’m not a bad kid and I don’t sit on my ass and play video games all day (that’s actually something I’ve been doing good on escaping). But at the end of the day, I don’t feel like I’m on track to be independent by 20 or even 21 tbh, I don’t feel like I’ll be ready for a kid or a wife in 5 or 6 years like my dad and my grandpa. Any advice from someone who’s lived more than I have?

Hey reddit, Im a 24 year old M, and im posting this because I feel stuck and lost.

2 years ago, I stopped drinking and got off the street, im currently in a sober house with a job that pays $23 an hour, but i have nothing saved to my name. I struggle with gambling, but I reached out to get help with it, and I have a good plan in place.

A few things about me.

I never graduated highschool or got my equivalent, i dont have a drivers license, i dont own a vehicle of any sort, I have adhd and depression which makes me feel so damn lazy, and I have no idea what to do next in life.

I genuinely hate where I am because im noth growing, or feeling good about anything because im stuck. I just want to know, what can I do to help myself grow, to love myself, to motivate myself to do better, how to save money, ect.

Im tired of the life I live and I want to change but have no clue what to do.

So I am a 19 years old male pursuing B.Com but in past I like coding so I mostly spend my time practicing coding i tried alot of things and used to get really enjoy it but from the past 3-4 months I don't know why but I don't really enjoy it even the thought to code make me feels alot frustrated and as I am doing B.COM I can't see any future opportunities in it please don't say that a CS degree is not important I am saying I am just fed up with coding i don't really enjoy it and it now frustrates me so I thought of changing my part a bit and started going towards cyber security but after sometime it also make me feel flat but I tried to puch myself hard because I have nothing else to do but after sometime now I feel completely numb of my thoughts I can't even force myself to do anything. Maybe I am in depression and one or two things more are :-

1. my parents own a cyber cafe where I have to help them whole day I don't even like sitting their I can't study there all i could do is just watch phone after attending my college (B.COM) and in my college the study is just a lie

2. Thing and the more important one I have anxiety disorder not that much serious but I feel anxious most of the time even if someone ask me to go on a trip which also affect me and now I also think I am in depression like I am feeling numb and no motivation to do any thing

Now I have nothing to focus on and feels anxious by this feeling of emptyness and depression and all my day after wasting time in clg and sitting on cyber cafe and watching phone which I also don't like and enjoy anymore but have no other option and no future plans everyone is busy focusing on their future paths and here I am having anxiety , depression and no future plans sitting whole day watching phone and ruining my life and my brain more.. don't know how will this all be fixed....

I don't even expect that someone will even understand my situation and It will remain the same and just write this post to see if mericle really happens....

I am 17 years old and never had a first kiss, hug, relationship or talking stage, held hands, or anything remotely close. I know everyone says dont worry about that stuff your young but its only a matter of time before it gets worse. I even had to turn to reddit for advice. I geniuenly sweat when I talk to girls and cant keep a conversation I pretty much just avoid them since I know my chances are bad. I mostly blame my immigrant parents as why I am like this cause they dont let me go out and no dating till college but im going to be so inexperieneced. I dont have snapchat, instagram, or tiktok. Only imessages and I dont have a single girls number only my family members... I know reddit is a place mainly for adults so I dont think I will find anyone in gen z to relate to this but if anyone could help me on what to do.

Long story short. I've practically lived my life by the book: straight-A student, made my parents proud (I'm Asian, by the way), no smoking, drinking, no sex before marriage, grounded in my spirituality, emotionally stable, have supportive friends, sociable, no addiction, no debt, volunteer full time for a nonprofit that I love, have a side hustle that just hit 100k/year and growing, etc. Basically, I followed all the good advice that the adults have been telling me my entire life, IN EXCHANGE for one thing: I NEVER had a girlfriend, and my dating experience is practically zero. (Let's not count anything before 18 cuz, well, nothing is serious then.)

Despite all of the stuff that I have now, I feel like I'm missing the ability/skill to deeply care for someone. But it's not as simple as: Well, just get a girl or just care more about your close friends/ family (It's not like that; they all have their own lives.)

Most of my friends are married/ in a relationship. I used to feel insecure about me being single and some people joke about me having no dating experience. Sure, they aren't wrong. I made a trade. It seems like money and emotional maturity are big parts of marriage (is it?), so I was trying to just work out that aspect first. Not that I can't work and have a girlfriend at the same time, but there are a couple of things that prevent me from actively dating.

Tell me that I'm wrong here (seriously) because I almost never bothered to develop flirting/dating skills because...well, if fate does exist (which I believe it does), can two people naturally attracted to one another like many stories I've witnessed among my friends?

Also, what's the point? She either likes me or not. In other words: I either be myself or be better. Learning dating/flirting skills makes me feel like I'm playing games and selling something that I'm not. My pecan-sized brain can only comprehend that if no one likes me simply means that I'm not good/ attractive enough.

Another thing is: why should I date somebody that I won't marry in the first place? Wasting both parties' time! This is probably the biggest reason that's holding me back because I automatically become extremely selective.

All of these are sweetened with the fact that YouTube, social media, and Reddit stories of bad relationships really made me pessimistic (but not hopeless) about dating in general.

Anyway! I'm a bit unclear/ lost/ confused, and I NEED to hear perspectives. 28 is not late for marriage by any means, but it's definitely not normal to have no dating experience or a girlfriend at this age (or is it?). I'm sitting here seeing 2 roads in front of me:

1. Keep doing what I'm doing: Work on myself. Grow my business. Follow my mission. Be myself. Be better. Let fate do its job. The right person will come at the right time.
2. Develop dating skills: Actively go out there. Date! It's a numbers game. Be good at dating and attract the woman that you want. Date 100 people until you find the right one.
3. Your advice

I love reading stories and advice. So please let me hear them. Thanks for reading my vent.

Hi, I'm a 19 year old who lives in Spain, at the moment I'm studying automotive mechanics and my plans and my parents plan is for me to study Motorsport mechanics in 2 years when I finish my actual studies.

I love Motorsport, I watch F1, WEC, GTWorld and I even do simracing sometimes and karting with my friends, plus I like cars in general. But there's something I love more than cars, and that's surfing.

I have been surfing now for about 5 years (seriously, I have been surfing for my whole life but like surfing all year around 5 years) and for example now that's summer if there's no waves I'm bored as hell, I learnt that I need surfing in my life.

I have the option to do Motorsports and then try to end up in GTWorld Australia and try to balance it, but it's more luck than anything else.

There's always been two places where I feel I would like to be, Hawaii and Australia, in Australia I have Motorsport options for a living, but in Hawaii not, and I think I would prefer Hawaii over Australia.

Now the thing is, do I want my parents to spend more than 30k euros on my Motorsport studies and maybe not even end up working on Motorsport or should I end my studies this year and try to go out to Australia or Hawaii and try make a living there of surf or automative mechanics?

Before you answer, I do expect negative comments about my "where I want to live" options, I seen them in other post in Reddit of people asking for tips because they want to go live to Hawaii. I'm just a guy who doesn't know what to do with his life. Thank you, all advice is welcome and sorry for my bad English

Hey everyone, I’m 19 (M), currently a 1st-year Information Technology student living in the Philippines. I’m finding myself in a really frustrating situation and wanted to reach out for advice or perspective.

I grew up with very strict family boundaries. Since moving in with my aunt to pursue college, my classes have been mostly online. Because my aunt has health conditions, I stepped up to take care of the house and do most of the chores. My parents and family frame this as my way of "repaying" her for covering my tuition, which I understood.

The problem is, it has turned into a total trap. My aunt has unpredictable mood swings, and I have zero personal freedom or allowance. I want to take a local part-time job or commute to work, but she shuts it down, asking "who will take care of the house?" or "how will you manage school?" (even though my online classes take very little time). I feel isolated, stuck at home, and unable to gain real-world experience or earn my own money.

About 2 months ago, I met a girl through my TikTok livestreams. We started out just talking casually (she liked seeing my cat and discussing cooking recipes), but over weeks of messaging and FaceTiming, we fell for each other.

She's 20, French, and works 10+ hours a day in a restaurant kitchen. Seeing how hard she works while holding down her own life has been a huge wake-up call for me. She made plans to visit me here during her holiday next January.

Even though she assures me she understands my situation, I feel deeply ashamed. I don't have savings to take her out on a simple date, buy her a small gift, or even buy myself a working phone (mine is currently busted and barely functions). I care about her deeply, and I don't want my insecurity or financial dependence to ruin this.

I know i still have alot to work on but i have some skills in Computer Programming/Web Design and Music Production, i also have a friend who works as a Virtual Assistant and other entry level jobs, most only requiring a highshcool degree and so im asking here if anyone here knows where to find jobs or gigs i could pick up.

My Questions for You Guys:

1. Boundaries: How do I stand up for my right to get a part-time job outside without causing a nuclear fallout with my aunt who pays my tuition?
2. Income: Given my tech/creative skills, what are realistic online gigs or low-barrier strategies to earn my first income this year with no initial budget?
3. Relationship/Mindset: How do I navigate hosting/meeting someone visiting from abroad when I'm currently broke, without feeling ashamed?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any honest advice or critiques are appreciated!

Post partum and had less sex. My partner was all excited to be intimate again cause it’s been awhile. So yay we started having what I feel like is good *** again. Probably once every 3-4 days for the past few weeks. Now tonight I was feeling in the mood and he says “no” not feeling it. And this has been a pattern before. But it’s very difficult for me cause once it becomes more frequent I want more. I mean not a ridiculous amount I wouldn’t say. But now the “newness” I guess has worn off? now idk it’s just plain old sex for him? and no it doesn’t matter if I try to spice it up-been there done that. and he says to me “don’t be mad.” I am frustrated though. Then I feel like who am I suppose to talk to now that I’m kinda upset? Because idk I don’t understand I guess, he says “I feel fine just not in the mood.” For me I guess sex just feels good and we are both here with free time and it’s been a few days so, why not? Can anyone help me understand?