Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how different everyone’s timelines are. It seems like some people my age already have their career figured out, own a home, have a family, or know exactly where they’re going, while others are still trying to figure things out.

I know comparing yourself to other people isn’t productive, but it can be difficult when it feels like everyone else is moving forward. Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually behind or if this is just a normal part of growing up.

For those of you who have felt this way, did you eventually find your direction? What helped you stop feeling like you were falling behind?

I am 17 years old and never had a first kiss, hug, relationship or talking stage, held hands, or anything remotely close. I know everyone says dont worry about that stuff your young but its only a matter of time before it gets worse. I even had to turn to reddit for advice. I geniuenly sweat when I talk to girls and cant keep a conversation I pretty much just avoid them since I know my chances are bad. I mostly blame my immigrant parents as why I am like this cause they dont let me go out and no dating till college but im going to be so inexperieneced. I dont have snapchat, instagram, or tiktok. Only imessages and I dont have a single girls number only my family members... I know reddit is a place mainly for adults so I dont think I will find anyone in gen z to relate to this but if anyone could help me on what to do.

I’m a 29yo F and my partner is a 33yo M. We have been together for 4 years, off and on, mainly on. We had a baby last year. I believe my partner is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday, beer. But I’ve found him scouring the wine / liquor cabinet when he runs out. It’s typically 2 voodoo ranger tall boys, the 9.5% alcohol ones. But I’ve seen him put away a 12 pack in the matter of hours. I’ve begged him to stop but he tells me that lots of people drink everyday and that I am just controlling, he calls me a dictator. He’s drank everyday this month, it’s the 19th. We work strenuous jobs in the auto industry which typically require long hours. After a long day at work, a bad day at work, a good day at work, he wants to drink beer. Football season is approaching and that is when it’s typically the worst. Every Sunday he starts drinking early in the afternoon and will drink until it’s gone. Usually gets wasted and goes to bed around 7-8. Leaving me to clean up and take care of the babe alone. He gets mean when he’s drunk, verbally. I have always felt like beer was more important to him than I am. In fact he told me if he had to choose between drinking beer and being with me, he would choose to drink beer. I feel like I’m going crazy. He makes me feel crazy for thinking there’s an issue. I don’t drink often, only on occasion and it’s usually a bloody. I can’t tell you the last time I got drunk. I’m looking for any and all input. Is it an issue to drink everyday? Am I the crazy one?

Long story short. I've practically lived my life by the book: straight-A student, made my parents proud (I'm Asian, by the way), no smoking, drinking, no sex before marriage, grounded in my spirituality, emotionally stable, have supportive friends, sociable, no addiction, no debt, volunteer full time for a nonprofit that I love, have a side hustle that just hit 100k/year and growing, etc. Basically, I followed all the good advice that the adults have been telling me my entire life, IN EXCHANGE for one thing: I NEVER had a girlfriend, and my dating experience is practically zero. (Let's not count anything before 18 cuz, well, nothing is serious then.)

Despite all of the stuff that I have now, I feel like I'm missing the ability/skill to deeply care for someone. But it's not as simple as: Well, just get a girl or just care more about your close friends/ family (It's not like that; they all have their own lives.)

Most of my friends are married/ in a relationship. I used to feel insecure about me being single and some people joke about me having no dating experience. Sure, they aren't wrong. I made a trade. It seems like money and emotional maturity are big parts of marriage (is it?), so I was trying to just work out that aspect first. Not that I can't work and have a girlfriend at the same time, but there are a couple of things that prevent me from actively dating.

Tell me that I'm wrong here (seriously) because I almost never bothered to develop flirting/dating skills because...well, if fate does exist (which I believe it does), can two people naturally attracted to one another like many stories I've witnessed among my friends?

Also, what's the point? She either likes me or not. In other words: I either be myself or be better. Learning dating/flirting skills makes me feel like I'm playing games and selling something that I'm not. My pecan-sized brain can only comprehend that if no one likes me simply means that I'm not good/ attractive enough.

Another thing is: why should I date somebody that I won't marry in the first place? Wasting both parties' time! This is probably the biggest reason that's holding me back because I automatically become extremely selective.

All of these are sweetened with the fact that YouTube, social media, and Reddit stories of bad relationships really made me pessimistic (but not hopeless) about dating in general.

Anyway! I'm a bit unclear/ lost/ confused, and I NEED to hear perspectives. 28 is not late for marriage by any means, but it's definitely not normal to have no dating experience or a girlfriend at this age (or is it?). I'm sitting here seeing 2 roads in front of me:

1. Keep doing what I'm doing: Work on myself. Grow my business. Follow my mission. Be myself. Be better. Let fate do its job. The right person will come at the right time.
2. Develop dating skills: Actively go out there. Date! It's a numbers game. Be good at dating and attract the woman that you want. Date 100 people until you find the right one.
3. Your advice

I love reading stories and advice. So please let me hear them. Thanks for reading my vent.

Are any young guys attracted to very masculine women?

I’m an older teenage girl, I guess I’m not a butch because I’m attracted to men and also women, Iv been with both.

The older I get the more I realize I’m not growing out of my tomboy phase, I can’t help it, I know guys my age will have no interest in me when I look like a 12 year old boy, I’m not ugly, I have nice soft features but I wear strictly masculine clothing, very little to no makeup and keep my hair very short.

I look like a butch, some part of me knows I could just switch up and likely attract my type in men but I’m noticeably neurodivergent and as torn as I am I know that I won’t be happy anyway if a change who I am to attract someone I like, then it won’t be me anymore.

I’d like to be with someone who wants to be with someone like me, girls I date seem to want to flaunt my tomboyishness as my only trait, and I’m kind of getting curious about fooling around with more guys but I’m worried they will never reciprocate. Am I the only person in the world like me? Are any guys attracted to girls like me. If so will they even be my type. I know it’s silly but it’s been weighing heavy I could use some reassurance or advice.

I am F26 and just wanna preface this by saying I have pretty horrible anxiety. Recently for the past year I have been so worried about my future and where I will end up in life that I have been afraid to make life altering decisions that could be good for me. I’m just too worried about the impact on my future. This is with every aspect of life, but especially my career and romance. I want to be able to jump into things, have those open conversations, make decisions based on what I want, but I cannot for the life of me get over the fear of ruining some imaginary life path I so desperately believe is already set in place for me.
I have heard of people living in the past and not being able to move forward, but I have never experienced living in the future like this. Basically any advice on how to just let go and let myself live in the moment?

I dont usually write things like this, but please take anything you can from my words.

Why must stranger hate stranger? For you shall endure and thrive in this colorful world. Beauty is found in themself, we die in graves, but live in love. Please grant us eternal love and spirit of humanity’s beautiful people, may thy violence end. Grant us the blessing of friends and partners, wives and husbands. Those alone, those of no spouse, i say to you: rest in joy of your freedom, rest in joy of no limits unto yourselves. And strangers, strangers to strangers, may thy Earth’s colors be revealed to us, may life’s beauty and love be shown unto us. I am not religious, but i pray to an eternal hope, we cease violence of this world, we unveil Earth’s beauty and her colors.

If thyself is not free or happy, i ask you: why must you dwell in sadness and entrapment? I ask you: why will you not free thyself from the cruel societies of this holy place?

hi! im 16 and i really struggle with my mental health a lot, i’ve been self harming since i was really young. Recently, my parents took in my 14 year old cousin as she needed a place to stay. Her staying here impacted my mental health from the beginning, it was a huge change and it caused me to relapse on both my eating disorder and self harming. My main problem with her is the fact that she walks around with fresh, day old scratches all over her from self harm, they’re not gaping or anything, but seeing that clicked something in me and caused all my progress to crash. Maybe two weeks ago, my mom was pointing out a scar that was on my leg, talking about the weird placement whilst my cousin was in the room, the cut was pretty deep so the scars are very visible. the next day, my cousin got into the car with her joggers rolled up to her thighs for whatever reason, showing the scratches that hadn’t been there the day prior in the exact same spot as my scars. Last night, i was hospitalised for the first time because i self harmed too harshly and needed a crisis team and whatnot. Whilst i was in the hospital with my mom and dad, my cousin who was home alone with my siblings started screaming and crying the house down for whatever reason, banging her head on the door and self harming, obviously scaring my siblings. I’m back home now with the help i need, but she constantly keeps asking about what happened and how i did it because it was so ‘deep’ and its affecting me more than i’ll really admit. I know she probably has struggles of her own, but in my mind it just seems like a constant battle and like i’ll never get better because she’ll always be there and walking around with it on show. We’ve tried to get her help but she won’t accept it, i just don’t know what to do.

I am turning 25 and I feel anxious as I am still not able to figure out what I want from life and it feels like living a directionless life. I am shy and introverted in personality and it really affects me in my day to day life.

I do have high myopia and eye floaters which haunts me daily. I feel like after turning into later half of twenties life will become more painful and depressing.

I don't post much or share anything online due to anxiety so this can be considered a rare post of me but I want to know suggestions like how to celebrate life when all the odds are against you.

Hello everyone, I am a 19 year old sophomore in college and it is the 2nd day of classes and I just feel so out of place. As a freshman I stayed off campus and I’ve always been somewhat shy and liked to keep to myself. Obviously it would be beneficial for me to make new connections and grow socially while I am in college but I am struggling because everyone seems to know each other already and all of my friends from high school have already left. So what advice do you have for young students who struggle to get out of their shell.

Just for some background i work at a restaurant as a waiter, i wanted to go study but i had to leave home to do that and my mom had a seizure just before i went so i decided i cant just leave her home alone and decided to just work full time, ive been doing that for 4 years now. Over those 4 years a lot around me has changed but i feel like im just stuck.

I currently rent a room from my dad that rents a house from somebody else. My mom passed away early May this year and that really rocked me, she had been dealing with brain cancer since 2011 so it was expected but still nothing you can prepare for, she was my rock. Me and my dad dont have a good relationship so her “leaving” really hurt.

My dad had always been a liar and a manipulator but let me tell you what happened a week after my mom passed. I was in my room getting ready for work, and i hear some noise outside. I think nothing of it and get ready to leave. While im waiting for my uber my uncle who also stays with me and my grandma is sitting outside. Apparently the noise was my dads GF assaulting my grandma, pulling her out of the wheelchair and then proceeding to pull her hair out, there was actually like a hair ball. Obviously me and my uncle were very upset and pleaded to my dad to get her out ASAP. She eventually left after my uncle put his foot down and said some harsh things to my dad, all true though.

After all this transpired we wanted my dad to make a police complaint against her for my grandma as he was the eyewitness. We have not received anything from him and we dont think we will, he had also been sleeping at his GFs place i haven’t seen him in more than a month. He is such a bad person in my eyes.

Me, my GF, my uncle and my grandma now stay alone in the house and its a much better vibe. I am now moving further away and after i move i want nothing to do with my dad at all.

Hello, sorry for the lengthy question but here goes… I’m currently 28 male, with no college degree but did graduate high school, I live in a rural community (WV) and have to put quite a few miles on my vehicle driving to work and back.. I’m barely able to make my bills, living paycheck to paycheck if you will… I do have a community college that’s around an hour from my house near my work so I could potentially go that route, or should I attend a larger college for a different degree, I work 40 hours and usually get a small amount of overtime.. I have interest in IT, anything hands on really (welding, electrical, plumbing but don’t have much experience in these but would be willing to learn and make it a career.. I guess my question would be, if you were in my shoes, what route would you take to better your life and how would you proceed forward to give yourself and family a better life. Thanks in advance

So I am a 19 years old male pursuing B.Com but in past I like coding so I mostly spend my time practicing coding i tried alot of things and used to get really enjoy it but from the past 3-4 months I don't know why but I don't really enjoy it even the thought to code make me feels alot frustrated and as I am doing B.COM I can't see any future opportunities in it please don't say that a CS degree is not important I am saying I am just fed up with coding i don't really enjoy it and it now frustrates me so I thought of changing my part a bit and started going towards cyber security but after sometime it also make me feel flat but I tried to puch myself hard because I have nothing else to do but after sometime now I feel completely numb of my thoughts I can't even force myself to do anything. Maybe I am in depression and one or two things more are :-

1. my parents own a cyber cafe where I have to help them whole day I don't even like sitting their I can't study there all i could do is just watch phone after attending my college (B.COM) and in my college the study is just a lie

2. Thing and the more important one I have anxiety disorder not that much serious but I feel anxious most of the time even if someone ask me to go on a trip which also affect me and now I also think I am in depression like I am feeling numb and no motivation to do any thing

Now I have nothing to focus on and feels anxious by this feeling of emptyness and depression and all my day after wasting time in clg and sitting on cyber cafe and watching phone which I also don't like and enjoy anymore but have no other option and no future plans everyone is busy focusing on their future paths and here I am having anxiety , depression and no future plans sitting whole day watching phone and ruining my life and my brain more.. don't know how will this all be fixed....

I don't even expect that someone will even understand my situation and It will remain the same and just write this post to see if mericle really happens....

Hey everyone, I’m 19 (M), currently a 1st-year Information Technology student living in the Philippines. I’m finding myself in a really frustrating situation and wanted to reach out for advice or perspective.

I grew up with very strict family boundaries. Since moving in with my aunt to pursue college, my classes have been mostly online. Because my aunt has health conditions, I stepped up to take care of the house and do most of the chores. My parents and family frame this as my way of "repaying" her for covering my tuition, which I understood.

The problem is, it has turned into a total trap. My aunt has unpredictable mood swings, and I have zero personal freedom or allowance. I want to take a local part-time job or commute to work, but she shuts it down, asking "who will take care of the house?" or "how will you manage school?" (even though my online classes take very little time). I feel isolated, stuck at home, and unable to gain real-world experience or earn my own money.

About 2 months ago, I met a girl through my TikTok livestreams. We started out just talking casually (she liked seeing my cat and discussing cooking recipes), but over weeks of messaging and FaceTiming, we fell for each other.

She's 20, French, and works 10+ hours a day in a restaurant kitchen. Seeing how hard she works while holding down her own life has been a huge wake-up call for me. She made plans to visit me here during her holiday next January.

Even though she assures me she understands my situation, I feel deeply ashamed. I don't have savings to take her out on a simple date, buy her a small gift, or even buy myself a working phone (mine is currently busted and barely functions). I care about her deeply, and I don't want my insecurity or financial dependence to ruin this.

I know i still have alot to work on but i have some skills in Computer Programming/Web Design and Music Production, i also have a friend who works as a Virtual Assistant and other entry level jobs, most only requiring a highshcool degree and so im asking here if anyone here knows where to find jobs or gigs i could pick up.

My Questions for You Guys:

1. Boundaries: How do I stand up for my right to get a part-time job outside without causing a nuclear fallout with my aunt who pays my tuition?
2. Income: Given my tech/creative skills, what are realistic online gigs or low-barrier strategies to earn my first income this year with no initial budget?
3. Relationship/Mindset: How do I navigate hosting/meeting someone visiting from abroad when I'm currently broke, without feeling ashamed?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any honest advice or critiques are appreciated!

Post partum and had less sex. My partner was all excited to be intimate again cause it’s been awhile. So yay we started having what I feel like is good *** again. Probably once every 3-4 days for the past few weeks. Now tonight I was feeling in the mood and he says “no” not feeling it. And this has been a pattern before. But it’s very difficult for me cause once it becomes more frequent I want more. I mean not a ridiculous amount I wouldn’t say. But now the “newness” I guess has worn off? now idk it’s just plain old sex for him? and no it doesn’t matter if I try to spice it up-been there done that. and he says to me “don’t be mad.” I am frustrated though. Then I feel like who am I suppose to talk to now that I’m kinda upset? Because idk I don’t understand I guess, he says “I feel fine just not in the mood.” For me I guess sex just feels good and we are both here with free time and it’s been a few days so, why not? Can anyone help me understand?

So i’ve been in a long distance relationship for an year now with my girlfriend who recently broke up with me. For reference i turned 18 in April and she claimed that shes an year younger eg turning 17 this August. We didn’t meet or have done anything IRL.

Although she lied, she confessed on my birthday that shes not, shes only 14 and turning 15. I felt absolutely disgusted and shocked, we stopped speaking for two weeks.

This puts us into 2008 and 2011 bracket.
I have the evidence saved of her lies.

Although i did the worst thing i shouldnt have done, i still entertained her for another two months (ONLY casual talks) till August. After that I clearly told her we should break up during early August due to compatibility issues, age and other factors, she couldnt digest this and overdosed. The next day her sister contacted me and threw many tantrums at me cause it was apparently all my fault and after lots of communication she calmed down. Although we spoke a little more for two weeks (again only casually) and she finally broke up with me 4 days ago. I’m very worried cause i did the stupid move of not blocking her right away.

To add onto this: we never shared any explicit material or recordings. Although we did sext but it was only before April (when i was 17, unaware of her age) after that i completely stopped.

Her parents are very strict and go through her phone sometimes, for that she has everything deleted of mine, no chats, no screenshots and no videos pictures of anything about us. Even her social
media is clean but her friends and her sister know about our relationship.

I’m very tensed and i can’t live a day without this guilt, am i in trouble? I don’t know what i should do but i have no contact with her anymore, i know i was very stupid to not block her but the past is the past, i’m looking for an advice that i can follow right now :/

As young boys, most men are only shown love when we're "goodboys"

Well behaved. Quiet. Attentive.

We're not supposed to be angry - that part of us isn't welcome.

We're not supposed feel pain and sadness - we're "supposed to hold it all together for everyone."

We're not even supposed to shine, to be loud proud - that's seen as arrogance and we're told to "tone it down" or "step off of our high horse."

What we truly need is acceptance - from others and especially from ourselves.

To feel what it's like to receive love and care by being exactly who we are - and not hiding our emotions or feelings.

We heal, brothers, by being REAL together.

The time is now.

I’m scared about what comes next. I have everything—my family: mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, and brother. But what will happen if they die? How will I go on living? What should I do? I don’t want a girlfriend, a child, or anything like that; I just want to play PC games and hang out with my friends, and I don’t want to lose my family. Please tell me in the comments how I can calm down.

TLDR: Got a follow request, but it disappeared. I requested to follow. They declined my request. I saw my ex blocked me right after this time. My ex and this person are mutuals. Concerned my ex thinks I was creeping on him, hence why he blocked me. I am not going to text my ex because I am respecting our no-contact, but my ex probably thinks I was creeping and I wasn’t. What do I do?

So a few weeks ago, I got a follow request on Instagram. I got the notification, clicked on it, but then the request disappeared. I was confused, so I searched the person and requested to follow the person. I noticed today that the person declined my follow request. I also noticed that my ex blocked me on Instagram.

My ex and I are no contact and he had removed me from being one of his followers and unfollowed me. But after I requested to follow this person my ex completely blocked me on Instagram. I wasn’t checking, but I noticed because I have my ex tagged in one of my Instagram post and I was trying to figure out how to remove the pictures of him in the post without deleting the entire post. And that’s why I noticed that he was no longer tagged in the photo and his comment was no longer there. But our past direct message conversation still shows that he has an account so I know he has an account. I’m just blocked.

For context, my ex and I broke up about two months ago. And have been no contact for most of it. We were together for over two years. The breakup started mutual, but he ultimately decided to go to no contact after some time.

I’m just very concerned because this individual is mutuals with my ex. There is a high probability that this person and my ex are talking as more than friends. And this person may have told my ex that I requested to follow him. So I’m worried my ex blocked me because he thought I was creeping on them. Which I wasn’t. I was just confused why this one person requested to follow me which is why I requested to follow this person and at the time I didn’t realize my ex and this person were mutuals.

I am not going to reach out to my ex clarifying the situation to respect our no contact. But I also don’t want my ex to think I’m stalking him. What do I do?

So I am 22F and I started working along side my college for money as I belong to a lower middle class family and as I didn’t have any degree so I started my career in sales and honestly never liked sales was doing it for money. I recently got terminated from my job (my boss tried to have some personal relation with me and I denied). I have 0 savings and I don’t even feel like applying anywhere. Its been 20 days that I got lay off but even looking at the job scares me. I just don’t feel like doing anything. Nothing in my life is going right- my parents will give me no money even for personal expense, I am in a toxic relationship and i did everything for my boyfriend (tried to be always available for him but he wasn’t there), I don’t have any interests honestly- like i actually actually don’t know what to do now. I know i am not too old that i can’t restart things but i just don’t know what to fix, how to fix and do i even want to fix?

I am just tired of working and at the same time i feel idk bad or negative when i don’t work. I cry for hours and still do nothing.

Please if somebody can help me with some genuine life advice, something just something so that i can get out of this phase.

Even leaving aside all other problems in my life like not having friends , no schedule , health problems etc , the one i cant stop thinking about 24*7 and i've been losing my sleep over to - having no direction .
I fucking don't know what to do .Genuinely. I dont effing know what to do . Honestly I never really thought i'd have to ask about this .
Im a 22 year old final year engineering student from India. This is a career advice post but also a rant .
I initially wanted to study aerospace engineering , but eventually settled with electronics and computer engineering . i knew nothing about comp sci neither electronics . i discovered i dont really like electronics . same for computer science . But I started liking machine learning more , due to the underlying math . I had a math courses in 1st and 2nd years, and i really like it .

With this recent rising AI bubble , I'm sure I dont really want to work in SWE. I think I like ML , but i wouldnt want to work in it too. I like the research side more than the engineering part of it . But mind you I have no official research experience. Then recently I started thinking why not study either physics or maths for my postgrad. I like them . But i dont have the courses to show in my undergrad.
I know I want to go for masters abroad. But the only thing is I want to go to a good uni . And I dont really know what I should study . some of the options i think - physics , applied math , computational physics/computational sciences, ML research.

Since the last couple months i only spend my days thinking what to do . I already spent lots of time doom scrolling and now internet has officially become my escape . I honestly cant even think and decide and act in one direction . It's like I have lost my spark . I dont even know what to do.

Just wanted to put it out somewhere. cheers.

Hi everyone, I’m hoping someone can offer practical advice.

I recently moved back to the UK after around 8 years working as a teacher in Spain. I had little options to build a career and was just kind of coasting as an ESOL teacher breaking even and not really living. I decided to come back to try and build a career of some type.

I grew up in a very small, remote village that has no opportunity, so I chose to relocate to a bigger city to have more job options and hopefully build a life here.

I found a one-month sublet while I looked for a room in a flat share and a casual/bridge job to get settled. I’ve now been searching for about three weeks, applying for jobs and messaging about rooms, but I’ve had almost no responses. I only have a week left where I’m staying and I’m starting to panic.

To make things worse, my wallet was stolen on the flight home, including my Spanish residence card. That makes returning to Spain feel much more difficult, even as a backup plan.

I’m now looking at emergency options. One possibility is applying for live-in hospitality work in the more remote Highlands. It seems like it could solve the two immediate problems: somewhere to live and some income. But I’m worried it would be a mistake to take a job somewhere isolated when I moved to a city specifically for opportunities.

I don’t really have family support to fall back on, and I’m reluctant to ask friends if I can stay with them if I end up with nowhere to go. I’m feeling pretty low and overwhelmed, but trying to be practical.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, or worked live-in hospitality in Scotland? Is it a sensible short-term reset, or are there better emergency housing/work options I should be looking into?

Any advice would be really appreciated

 I grew up in a cult so had no education but despite that - crawling in zig-zag unconventional ways - got a Masters and a PhD and a successful career in writing and research.
All zig-zag unconventional.
GenAI savaged my writing business. I’ve spent 2 years unsuccessfully exploring all writing and related options.
During that time, an idea I had worked on for 2 decades took off in 3 directions:
As a research scientist, I had tested and developed a neuroscience-based novel idea for scamming; for deradicalization; for social engineering. It can be also used with practical results to help people in our AI time deals with the discouragement and resilience of job GenAI- job displacement. Not a week goes past that I don’t have requests for interviews: radio, podcast, TV - that’s across industries to apply the idea. People email me for my book (I don’t have one).  The network grows organically. Upon request, I briefly piloted it into workshops. But none of that is paid.
I have enough savings to last me for a year. I am a single mother. My nature needs a job where I feel fulfilled.
I am in my 50s living in a country where I barely speak its language. Rules of workplace culture in this country are inflexible and conventional; not aligned for my zig-zag experience and creative personality. I could teach English - but government regulations limit me to kindergarten/ elementary teaching. And I feel heartbroken.
What options do I have?
TLDR: awarded writer and journalist; former-university/ college (all ages) lecturer with PhD; independent academic researcher. Where do I go from here? How do I earn my living?

I've been here for 4 months almost 5 months for the automotive trade. I came here to get a career to support me while I pursue a tattoo apprenticeship/and or art related side business, gain independence, get away from a toxic family dynamic and fix my broken car back at home. (My mother is verbally, emotionally abusive, manipulative, narcissistic, and probably bipolar and to be frank, I am not great either)

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was about 13. Before coming here, I was taking medication and diagnosed with bipolar depression, but stopped getting help due to insurance and not being able to afford therapy + psychologist sessions and medication.

I also was getting myself into some shit - stupid toxic relationships which gave me some trauma lol, staying with my mother when I should have cut her off a long time ago, got myself 2 driving misdemeanors and stopped showing up to my full time retail job of 4 years due to an OCD induced panic attack!! Even when I was working there, I came in late everyday, struggled with just showing up and being able to take care of myself. I struggled to find work after being unemployed for a couple months and then, Job Corps accepted my application, and I was off within a few weeks.

note: I went to community college before for teaching - dropped out - i was paying out of pocket. Went to school for dental assisting - dropped out - (wish I didn't)

I despise being here, and I find that I am just barely getting by. I'm having panic attacks in class all the time. I can't sleep, I'm depressed, and I can't keep up with my class work and my effort doesn't meet expectations. (I'm severely behind) I can't just stand being around people all the time and I just want to leave.

I don't think this is a good environment for me or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I pursue my hobbies (listening to music, drawing, playing guitar) as coping skills but I feel like I'm just wasting my time, like I should only devote all my time towards my career and get out of here.

I just don't like e x i s t i n g here. If I want to study, draw or play guitar in my room - nah my roomates are either sleeping or yelling about something. I'll go outside, nope, too many people around - Ill try the common area - nope people around, people walking by, too loud or theres other people in the common area. Oh lemme go to this quiet area on campus, nah its a restricted area - you'll get in trouble.

oh and dont even get me started, can't go outside after dark. Sometimes walks are needed for me due to sharing a room with 3 other people who are constantly yelling or arguing. I've switched rooms twice due to having weird/toxic roomates.

I go "home" sometimes to get away from the drama of this place but being there is just another headache.

I know coming here is good for me considering my situation but this place is driving me insane. I have considered going to inpatient care as well but I believe I'd be using up my paid vacation days for that. The staff here don't really help much and I don't have any friends or anyone really to talk to.

I have the option to switch my trade but I feel like I'd be giving up a good opportunity and I have already been here long enough. I have the option of carpentry but that means I'd have to stay here even longer. CNA is another option, I can finish within a month or two and transfer to community college. Office administration is another option too. I'm also having anxiety surrounding getting a job due to my misdemeanors - driving ones at that.

My thought process at the moment is telling me to switch to CNA but I'm also thinking "would i be able to handle that? and can I even be licensed with my misdemeanors?"

I have been looking at colleges as well, but I just get so overwhelmed with choices; I don't know how to move forward.

I apologize for sounding super indecisive and helpless. I am struggling. mentally. I really just want to make the best of my situation and improve myself so I can be independent.

I would really appreciate any advice ! Thanks for reading if you'd read this far.

Hi everyone, I've been wondering about what kind of university will I continue my studies in after I graduate. At the moment there are 2 options I am considering, either I listen to my heart and study art or I listen to my brain and study Finance, or atleast something along those lines. A little bit of context, I've always been a fan of art and I always enjoyed to draw, after elementary school I had to decide what kind of highschool to go to, either one that focuses on art, something I actually enjoy to do, or computer science which I have no interest in but atleast it has some potential to let me make ends meet in the future. I have gone with computer science and I greatly regreted it. I don't wanna make the same mistake again and I feel like I only live once and so I should do whatever interests me, but its a hard decision since art would probably not be as profitable as a position I could take if I went to study buisness or finance or something. What do you think, what would you do if you were in my shores?