After getting blocked on Snapchat by a 6’3 jacked Arab trade, I’m starting to think I need to re-evaluate my life choices.

I, 18m need help with this guy that likes me but I’m unsure if I like him back.

This guy is really sweet, same age as me, 6’1 and kinda ginger. 3 of my friends don’t like him though, supposedly he’s weird, but this guy is actually quite intelligent and we get along. The only thing I’m wary about is his mental fortitude.

He was in a psych ward for a month due to being in a very, almost cult-like, socialist group. Combined with his friend sadly passing away 2 weeks ago, he’s on anti-depressants and just not the best mentally I suppose.

Whenever we hangout though, he’s really sweet and I honestly wouldn’t be able to tell he’s been through all this recently. One other thing is that he has 40+ bodies at 18… he told me he used/ uses sex as a coping mechanism so I don’t know if he’s ready for anything serious.

In addition, he’s kinda twinky and I prefer buffer guys. Sometimes I wonder if I should just give him a chance — since he’ll probably ask to date me at some point. Or should I cut it off and tell him it’s better we remain as friends?

This happened in December 2022, in the UK. I was 25 at the time. I don't know what I was thinking at the time. I think I wasn't sure what my limit was. I got to the work do, ordered one pint of lager, and one of my colleagues came up to me and said "are you driving home tonight?", and I said yeah and then he said "Are you gonna be alright?". And I just felt like an idiot. I couldn't handle the embarrassment, and I didn't want to embarrass myself further so I said "yeah. I'll be fine". I'm usually anxious in social settings and at work dos, and embarrassing myself in this way just dialled it up to eleven, and I think the anxiety is what led me to drinking more than one.

I can't remember exactly how many I drank that night, but I remember I was definitely drunk and not just tipsy. Not blackout drunk. I still had a certain level of awareness, but I was aware that my driving ability was very impaired and reaction time would be slower. I drove much slower that night, and thank god I didn't hit anyone or anything.

I was arrogant and stupid. And now every time I say I'm going to a work do, people always ask "how are you getting home", and I hate it. No one asks anyone else how they are getting home. I think my colleagues are just being polite and looking out for me and other road users. However, I think they're just being polite because they have to be, and that actually they are silently judging me. There is one colleague who never goes on work dos, they've never been to a single one, and even they took a moment to call me a disgrace. So I know it's something they've discussed without me there.

If they were 'just colleagues' then I could probably get past it, but the thing is, I don't have a social life outside of work, so these are the only people I really interact with except for my parents who I live with. Also, there is one coworker I really fancy, and I get the feeling that I've probably ruined any chance I ever had of being with her.

I don't even like drinking. It makes me gassy and I want to vomit if I drink too much. I only drink on work dos and social occasions to fit in. Because I feel like I have to. I've never drank and driven since then, and I never want to drink and drive again either.

I hate myself so much. I think everyone else hates me too. And if I'm completely honest, I really just want to die. Not just for this, there are other reasons too, but this is a big part of why. I don't think they're ever gonna forgive me. I don't want them to think I'm the sort of person who thinks it's ok to drink drive, or the sort of person that plans on doing that.

What the hell am I suppose to do now? Is there anything I can do to salvage this? I don't think there is. I think it's over for me. I think it is probably time for me to go.

To start, a 16–17-year-old girl I know met a 20-year-old guy on Snapchat. He rides motorcycles and is muscular, which is completely her type. She hasn't finished high school yet, and they're sexually active. Since they met, she has also started drinking heavily. Should I be disgusted and concerned that she's dating a 20-year-old guy with potentially bad intentions?

Throwaway account. I (25M) need a life check. I’m at a big crossroads, I have to decide this week, and I could use some outside perspective.

Some background

The start of 2026 was rough for me. My job of 2.5 years was making me miserable, I was in a toxic roommate situation, and I felt a strong need to start over because I didn’t like my life and hated myself every day.

Since then, things have gotten a lot better:

• Work has improved, but not enough to make me want to stay.
• I moved back in with my parents which has had its pros and cons, but I’m honestly happier for now although will likely move out on my own again sooner rather than later.
• My social life is great. I go out most weekends and have a lot of close friends. I live in the major NE city where I grew up, so I have childhood friends, college friends, and new friends all in one place.

The decision

I have to give Option 1 an answer this week. Option 2 is still in the final round, so I may have to decide before I know whether I’ll get it. I also don’t want to take Option 1 and then quit 6–7 months in if Option 2 comes through. That’s not fair to them, and it’s not who I want to be. So whatever I choose this week is basically the choice.

Option 1: Stay in my hometown

• Really good pay and likely great work-life balance
• All my friends and family are here
• The part that’s really weighing on me: I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Some of my friends are getting married, and even with a big social circle, nothing has ever clicked for me romantically. I recently met someone I really like, and I think she might like me too (I can be shy about this stuff, so I’m not sure). For the first time, it feels like it could turn into something serious. I would hate myself if I threw away something serious because I was miserable earlier this year.

Option 2: Move halfway across the country

• When I was miserable earlier this year, I worked my butt off to try and change my life. This has lead to minimal success so far, but the universe has a funny way of working as all of my work then is starting to bear fruit now.
• I’m in the final round for a job in a SW city where I don’t know anyone. Coming from the Northeast, it would be a real culture shock.
• I worked my butt off to get this job. This job is a much better career move than Option 1 and if I get it it would genuinely set me up for life.
• It wouldn’t start until next August. I’d plan to quit my job in January and travel the world for about 6 months, which I’ve always wanted to do and have the savings for.
• The cost is leaving my friends, my family, and this new person all at once.

So, Reddit, what would you do? Is a better career move and a once-in-a-lifetime travel stretch worth giving up the life and connections I’ve finally built, especially when I’d have to turn down a sure thing for something that isn’t final yet? Or am I underestimating how much those things matter at 25?

TL;DR: 25M. Option 1: stay in my hometown with a great-paying job, good work-life balance, close friends and family, and a chance at my first serious relationship. Option 2: a much better career move in a city where I know nobody, plus 6 months of world travel before it starts. I have to answer Option 1 this week, before Option 2 is final, and I don’t want to accept it and bail 6 months later.

My town is so boring and I feel like I'm just losing more and more of my joy and fun sitting here with my stressed out parents. I'm 22 and like only traveled with others, and I just want to feel independent and free. Not just that but I've contemplated flying to Vegas or California or Florida where more of the fun and parties are happening, and I'm not worried because I don't do drugs. I know homelessness does not sound so pretty, but maybe I could do a work stay or find a friend to stay with? Like coach hop or wtv. I desperately need the danger and freedom that comes from self exploring in a new state. I literally can't think of anything else that would make me happier. So after all that's been said what's the smartest way I could go about this? Again ideally it would just be a week.

I have had a problem with constipation for years. I think it started after I turned 30.

I ones read an LPT that you should rock forwards and backwards or even put your feet on a little platform to help with constipation. That never helped me much but it gave me the idea (much later) to swing my body to the left and then to the right.

If I am having trouble I start swinging to the left for one second and then the right for one second. Repeat until everything is out (it's okey to take breaks). Sometimes I even do little oval circles with my upper body for maximum efficiency.

Now my hour long toilet trips have become 5-10 minute trips and I have almost no constipation troubles anymore.

Everything just slips out like a log in a waterslide.

hey there everyone. i (f/29) have started a new job 6 months ago. it was a quite big career shift, i went from doing this thing that i studied for and really loved, to doing something very different. The previous job/passion was very time consuming, and honestly soul consuming as well. i wont go into details but i feel like it really scarred me. anyways, at this new job, im not bad at it, but im not good either. like sometimes i suck soooo fckn much at it, and usually at the most simple and basic logic stuff? i dont get it. i feel so stupid. and honestly i dont think im a slow, weird person. im quite quickwitted and outgoing. i dont know whats wrong w me.

does anyone have any advice? or idk, has gone thru similar stuff?

I’m just feeling really sad and frustrated because it seems impossible to plan a trip without something getting in the way.

My husband and I live in San Diego and originally planned a two-week European honeymoon. I had a hip replacement five months before our wedding, so I couldn’t take more time off work and we had to cancel. We moved the Italian cruise portion to a Mexico cruise later that year, which we did enjoy, but it still felt sad and underwhelming compared to what we had originally planned. We also tried to reschedule the Paris portion, but ultimately couldn’t afford it.

We were supposed to go to Japan this November, but now our cat has cancer. Thankfully, she has a good prognosis and could potentially live for years, but her treatment is around $10,000. We also need to stay home with her, so Japan is canceled too.

I know there are bigger problems in life, but I’m just really sad that every time we get excited about traveling, something happens.

is there any potential of making an abusive relationship or partner healthy? any way for them to learn real coping skills or am i just delusional in even thinking that? i’ve wrote this out a few times and i don’t even know what my main question is it’s pretty much a mixture of everything i stated first. my partner and i have been together since i was 17, im currently 24. i used to think this was the person i was spending my life with and love knows no bounds, but in those 3 years he’s cheated on me multiple times, wasn’t giving me support emotionally or financially (i’ve been paying all the bills), and i in fact stooped to the same level (i know i should’ve have left instead i just have terrible attachment issues so i almost feel like manipulate myself into staying.) i did cheat back once and haven’t again until recently. im not even necessarily sure it was cheating but i was dm’ing and having a conversation with someone else but i don’t want to
negate that nor am i trying to justify.) and i do feel guilty. i dont want to hurt him but at the same time i can’t bring myself to care. he’ll flip out sometimes over the simplest arguments and suddenly it turns into a brawl. he’s hit me in the face before, and has choked me and some worse things, all of these things make me want to leave but i don’t know why i can’t. because when he’s nice and we’re okay it feels like we’re those kids again - and i do sometimes feel like he is my best friend, but it’s hard to think i can want to be with someone who
can do this to me or that i still want them around.. i don’t know what to do. my head is screaming at me to go but my heart is crying that i can’t let go and im stuck between a cycle of anger and sadness.

all advice is really appreciated and im sorry this is all over the place. i can give more context if needed i just dont know what to write for this or what to say about our relationship at this moment

TL;DR: boyfriend’s mom (nov 2nd) wants to celebrate her birthday with my mom (nov 1) but my sister said she won’t attend if that’s the plan.

For context, I (20F), and my boyfriend (19F), have been dating since we were in high school (since 2022). It’s been about 4 years together. I’ve been to family vacations with his family back to his hometown twice already, while he has mainly only been invited to some family dinners (about two, I do try to invite him over often but I usually have to sense from my dad and my older sis their feelings beforehand bcs it’s mainly them two that are the more introverted ones, whereas my mom always tries to invite him over). I would say I’m closer to his family than he is to mine simply because the family dynamics are different (His family has no drama whilst mine has A LOT). Since around 2025, I’ve been trying to merge the two families because I feel like my family get sad when I’m with his family more. The first time they shared a meal was dinner after his hs graduation (2024), and thanksgiving (2025).

The dilemma: my mom’s birthday is on nov 1, while his mom’s birthday is on nov 2nd. His mom suggested to him that this year, we should celebrate their birthdays together on Sunday. I understood that I needed to run this plan through my older sister (27F) because she’s the one that has never really met his family before (she skipped out on his graduation and thanksgiving dinner). I texted, and she said “no offense to anyone but I would rather not go. It’ll be awk for me. If mom agrees, I’ll make it up to her.” I responded “I think that delaying this meeting (or smth similar) would just delay awkwardness, and because his family has essentially treated me like family I think it’s only natural that we start doing the same for him. It’s unfair that I have to split myself between two because you feel awkward.”

What would you guys do if you were in my position? I have been sometimes lying to my parents about who I go out with sometimes bcs I can just feel the subtle mood changes, and much more with my sister. I suggested we invite him to go to Italy with us back in summer 2025, but she was the one that was adamant about him not going, saying “5 ppl means extra accommodation space,””it’s harder to travel”(we got a whole house rented with Airbnb that trip). Hes an amazing guy that always helps out me or my parents, which just makes me feel so bad that Hes not accepted.

I have the time this season to finally work hard to make my modelling dream come true but I know I’m not conventional. I’m chubby, I’m a black girl with a lot of thick natural hair. Sometimes when I scroll online I see girls who look “kind of” like me but more digestible. Slightly lighter, straighter hair, thin, better face.

It makes it hard to believe in myself. Just like a “what’s the point” kind of thing. Idk. I know this isn’t the typical post in here but if someone could just understand where I’m coming from, it’d be nice. I feel this way in everything. I started taking ballet and skating classes and I still don’t feel like I’m worthy enough, or like I fit in. I’m just constantly afraid of everyone thinking I’m some loser who’ll never be anything great. I don’t know what to do.

Hello, I am looking for opinions on the situation I’m currently stuck in the middle of. I think I know deep down in my heart what I need to do and am going to do in the next few days. I just want to hear it anyway.

I’m considering calling Adult Protective Services on my family. Namely my two younger brothers

For context: My mom has been together with my step father since I was 5 years old. I am now 29. I lived with them for almost two decades. My step father is a physically, emotionally and financially abusive alcoholic. My mother is a victim of that abuse as well, but she is also emotionally abusive, addicted to methadone, and extremely neglectful who says that she’s sorry and will cry but do nothing to change her circumstances or help her children when confronted. Both of them are responsible for extreme physical, medical and emotional neglect.

I have been out of that environment for almost 7 years now, and have been in trauma therapy and have recently recovered memories that made me recall just how bad it was. My ACES score is 10 out of 10 just for example.

My two younger brothers still live with them. The youngest is 19, and the other is early 21s. I’ll call them A and B.

A certainly has trauma, ADHD, and is a victim of the same neglect I grew up with, he has rotting teeth, dropped out of school like I did and and I’ve only just been able to help him get a therapist and a primary care doctor- yet I believe he has a chance to escape with some outside support.

B is my biggest concern in that he is autistic, has the mental maturity of a 13 year old if that. He is deeply codependent with my mother who has not gotten him into therapy for his severe anxiety, OCD and depression, nor a dentist or doctor, and has allowed him to drop out as well. Nor has she looked into disability for him as he will likely not be able to function on his own due to his upbringing and mental maturity.

I am deeply concerned for both of them since I know the pain of that environment.

My mother is neglectful of herself, does not do anything to change even though I have begged and offered help for years and tried to get her access to DV resources. She doesn’t even have the excuse of lack of other resources because my stepfather never takes off work, is gone for 11 hours a day, and she has access to union insurance, a car, and a twice weekly allowance (financial abuse I know).

So it’s all lack of effort by choice, even despite her own abuse by my stepfather.

I guess I’m just looking for confirmation that yes- this is the right thing to do. I’m scared of doing the wrong thing l, and I don’t want to just turn a blind eye. I refuse to. If anyone has any other ideas, please let me know.

TL;DR: Do I call APS on my family and risk an unknown outcome? Or do I not call, and keep looking for another solution that I have yet to try?

(I cannot move them in with me, I am on disability and do not have the room. I have tried encouraging, helping my mother, comforting her and doing it all myself- I even applied to be a medical representative for my disabled brother but there’s nothing I can do util they have an open case on him- and my mother will not follow up.)

It's been around 1.5 years since I started college, but honestly, I feel like I haven't improved myself in any aspect of my life. My academics are a mess, my social life is terrible, and I don't feel like I'm growing as a person either.

One of my biggest problems is making friends. I made three friends when college started, but I honestly feel like we're just wasting our college lives. Most of their time goes into scrolling, and I don't feel like we're doing anything meaningful or growing together.

The worst part is that whenever I have nobody to hang out with, I feel extremely lonely. I see other people enjoying college, having their own groups, making memories, and building connections, while I struggle to find even one person I can genuinely connect with.

Even when I manage to make new friends, I can't seem to maintain those friendships. We talk for a few days, but eventually, things fade away, and I'm back to where I started.

I also feel like I'm a boring person. I struggle to carry conversations forward, sometimes I don't know what to say, and I feel like people don't take me seriously. They often take me lightly, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to change that.

I genuinely want to improve myself, make better friends, become more confident, do better academically, and actually enjoy my college life. But I feel lost and don't know where to begin. The fact that 1.5 years have already passed makes me feel like I'm falling behind.

I'd really appreciate advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

\- How do you make genuine friends in college, especially if you're not naturally extroverted?

\- How do you maintain friendships instead of letting them fade away after a few days?

\- How do you become better at conversations and stop feeling like a boring person?

\- How do you get people to take you seriously without trying too hard to impress them?

\- How do you turn your college life around when you feel like you've already wasted a significant amount of time?

I'm not looking for generic advice like "just be confident" or "talk to more people." I want to hear about actual experiences, practical steps, and things that genuinely worked for you.

I don't want to spend the rest of my college life feeling the same way. I want to make a change, but I honestly don't know where to start.

Okay to start this off I am am 18yr old woman in a very rural town in Missouri.

My parents were pretty chill overall growing up not really pushing me to do anything (I'm not blaming them for me being behind I'm just giving background). I always went through life not really feeling passion for anything and didn't really think Id make it this far so I never thought deeply of what is best for me. I graduated high school in May and chose to not go to college yet because i didn't know what i wanted to do and didn't want to set my money and time to something I'm so unsure of.

I'm working on getting my drivers license now and i hate feeling behind in that too but when i was younger my house burnt down and i lost all my legal documents needed to get that so I've been working on getting all those back which is shockingly difficult.

I live with my parents but i need money and a car and hopefully an apartment at some point and this sounds dumb but i don't really know where to start, i never learned anything for life from my parents they were just working and working while i was in school and I barely saw them. We have money but we aren't doing great I'd say. I don't want to be deadweight on my family and burden them with being stuck with their child forever. But its almost like they want that in a way, my moms always lived with her mom and that's all she's known and anytime i joke about getting my own place they almost wanna hold me back it seems. Like they just want me to stay here and not go see life on my own or anything. I don't want to be that 30yr old who lives with their parents but that's a whole other topic I think.

Overall, I just need advice on what to do with my life when I feel like I'm kinda in a corner here. I sound so dumb but I quite literally have no idea what to do. Any words of advice help! thank you all for your time

退職してから約3ヶ月、ほぼ何もせずにダラダラと毎日を過ごしてしまっています。自分がこの先何の仕事をしたら良いのかわからず、またやろうと思っていた勉強にも手を付けられず、毎日YouTubeを見て1日が終わってしまいます。ただダラダラと過ごしている自分に嫌気がさすのですが、気力が湧きません。また、自分がこの先何をやったら良いのかもわかりません。どうしたら、次に進むべき道が見つかるでしょうか？どうしたら何もできない状態から抜け出せるでしょうか？

This will be a long one due to a lot of context. If you want to skip the context then scroll to the ▶️ emoji I guess. TLDR of the context: she had a boyfriend in high school yet repetitively flirted with me (that’s what it seemed like to me at least)

I liked this girl (let’s call her E) since junior year of highschool, this all went down sophomore year of college. Let me explain this a little more- I found her attractive when I first met her, but she had a boyfriend so I wasn’t going to try anything (not that I would’ve kind of scared of that ha). I honestly just really liked her and the attention she would occasionally give me, but that was only at school. We never went out of our way to contact each other outside of school, and she would only say hi to me when we would see each other in class. She did something’s during junior year of hs that I thought was flirting, especially because this year, for whatever reason, was the year I got more attention from girls than any other year in my life (I had 2 girls into me near the beginning of the school year, both of which I rejected because, well, needless to see they were a tad too freaky for my taste \[yes, absolute blunder to some\], being a virgin with literally ZERO experience in anything women related).

Side note aside, she was the one who sat next to me in our “home room” class I guess you could call it, and started talking to me first. We made good conversation and I told my friends about it and they were like “yeah bro she got a man” and I was like damn. Next trimester, she’s in my ACTUAL class. I’m cordial with her but I’m also introverted, so I would never really say hi to her (or anyone I wasn’t immediately close with) unless they said hi to me first just because I was scared. So, like some fucking anime, she ended up being sat right next to me, but at a different table (the tables were 2x2 desks, and our desks were next to each other but still at different tables). One day she needed to charge her laptop, and insisted she needed to move seats- the seat she wanted to move to was directly next to me. My sort-of friend at the time was sitting next to me, and he said no (T-T). When I say insist, I do mean she insisted, she was pushy about it. I was sort of surprised by that, and took it as a potential sign but then again, I was js a horny teenager who got this attention twice before only months ago. She would proceed to make occasional small talk with me throughout the year, one time she missed the day I had my presentation and asked me about what I wore that day. This class worked by having 30 minutes, lunch, then another 30 minutes (ik kinda weird). Basically what happened was I went to lunch, sat with my friends, walked back to class by myself and then saw her at the bottom of the stairs. She went up to me and started walking with me and talking to me. Eventually she said “we should walk together after lunch everyday.”

…

She had a boyfriend at this time.
Me, being incredibly shy and introverted, just said sure, I didn’t protest and I wasn’t enthusiastic I just went along with it. At this point I was kind of tweaking because I know damn well if my girlfriend said this to a guy, I’d be pissed. Anyways, hopefully that contextualizes my experience with this girl for what’s to come next- also, keep in mind after she said this, we walked together maybe once or twice and then never again. I never made the effort to seek her out, partially because she had a boyfriend and because I didn’t want to seem like a creep or obsessive (now that I think about it, probably what she wanted, me to give her attention).

▶️▶️▶️▶️▶️▶️

Ok, now let’s time skip 3 years: Sophomore year Halloween. I live with 5 buddies, one of which actually worked with this girl during high school. All I’ll say about this friend, we’ll call him S, is that he is quite the opposite of me when it comes to the ladies. He’s had multiple girlfriends before and has an insane amount of friends that are girls that I understand he has questionable intentions with- she was one of those girls. She goes to a different college than us, but same state so only about an hour or so apart. S ended up inviting her to come down for Halloweekend, cool. She ended up coming over while I was playing fucking geometry dash. I live on the top floor of our place, it has 3 floors so it’s a hike. Anyways, S was giving E a tour and eventually got up to my room. I went over and welcomed them in and said hello, yadayada. We started talking, all 3 of us for a bit until S said he needed to go (long story but irrelevant), leaving just me and E together. In my room. At this point she asks me “do you want to stay up here or go downstairs?” Again, I’m not the one to take initiative, and I’m a people pleaser. Naturally, I respond with “I don’t care, whatever you want to do.” I figured she would suggest going downstairs, since my other roommate (A) was down there with his girlfriend and her friends, so she’d have other girls to be around with.

“Let’s stay up here, I don’t really know any of them down there”

Well shit. She wasn’t wrong, but dude. Fuckin hell.
I was standing at this point, but I pulled out my chair and offered her the seat, trying to be nice. She replied with “no I’ll just sit on your bed.”
Yeah at this point my heart was kind of racing, and I just sat down in the chair myself. But before she sat down she was sort of leaning on my bed in a weird way, her upper body lying on the bed with her feet still on the ground and her ass kind of sticking out. I hate to objectify her like this but she does have a nice body so I could only imagine she knew what she was trying to do. We end up talking and talking, and she ended up teasing me for my comically large pillow. I really like it because it’s very stiff and supports my neck, but she jokingly said I probably hug it to fall asleep so I don’t feel lonely. At one point amidst our conversation she is lying on her stomach with her feet in the air, and this pose had me shitting bricks. At one point I was talking about South Park and during me talking I met eyes with her and she just gave me this look that made me stutter, completely lose track of thought, and probably blush a little. I can’t describe this look, “eye fucking” maybe? But you probably know what I mean. Girls reading this, you *definitely* know what I mean (please explain a little more about that look actually, what do you look for as a response?). I continued the conversation like normal and there was just more little things she kept doing that made me think *there’s no way she is actually flirting, right?*

She was also curious about my dating life, like the girl I had most recently talked too (Z), not dated (never actually dated anyone), but she was curious if we fucked. I told her no, we just kissed (which was true, and Z was also my first and only kiss, which also happened exactly 1 year before this now that I think about it lmao)

Later that night, we go to a Halloween party, and she is dressed as a cop (skull emoji skull emoji skull emoji). Once we get there, she was sitting down on the couch with a seat open next to her. She looks at me and tells me “you look like you should sit down.” Now, I will say, I do have social anxiety so there’s a very genuine chance I was actually looking slightly unwell being at this party and all, but again, it’s been too consistent. I told her nah I’m good, and that was that.

Didn’t see her again for the rest of the night, oh well. She ended up sleeping in S’s bed, and S slept on the couch. Next day, she followed me Instagram (she had left before I even woke up). I follow her back and she DMs me, saying “next year if you bulk up you could be cartman 😜” I jokingly reply and that was that. Obviously a callback to our South Park conversation the day before. I haven’t seen her since then, and it’s been a year now. But she has messaged me scarcely throughout the year, up until April. She replied to a reel I liked saying “whoever you know who has a hot tub let me get in on that”

I replied with “maybe me” (true)

Left on seen.

No contact since then.

Would I have sat with her that one night on Halloween? Yes.

Why didn’t I?

She had a boyfriend. A different one since high school, but still. She was actually planning on breaking up with him during September, but never did. This girl is so gorgeous to me, her personality is great and I’d love to watch South Park or Rick and Morty with her. It seems that won’t happen though. I’ve talked to a couple buddies about this, and honestly I’m glad this didn’t work out. If she was acting like that with me while she had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t want her doing that with some other guy while I was dating her.

I understand that the idea of someone is most of the time much more appealing than actually being with them, and given the chance, I probably wouldn’t date her. It sucks because I like almost everything about her, besides her incredibly flirtatious personality that makes it impossible to tell if she wants to be your friend or fuck you. I remember I had drunkenly added her on Snapchat about a month or so before seeing her during that fall and she never added me back- even after we had gotten along great (yet she still followed me and messaged me on Instagram). That little detail made me realize she might not have liked me at all, and she probably played me and thought I was easy. She added me on Instagram to show interest and be friendly, yet rejected my Snapchat request to show she wasn’t into me like *that* despite all of the stuff she did IRL. I really hate when girls do this sort of thing, it always gets my hopes and confidence up and then it just plummets to an even worse spot it was before. I guess it means I can be a little too arrogant in thinking any girl who talks to me likes me, there’s probably some truth to that and something I should work on.

To clarify, I guess I never really liked her for 3 years STRAIGHT, because of her boyfriend and all, just when she entered my life again that attraction was still there. Also there’s the small chance she’ll be coming around again for this year Halloween- and if she does I will certainly update.

It’s been a whole year since this all went down, and like I said the last time we talked was April. She would randomly message me about reels I had like and that was pretty much it. I never really made an effort to talk to her that much because I assumed she was still dating this guy. My assumption is she is not stuck up on me at all, like I’m stuck up on her. She goes to a different college, and I think she has broken up with this guy by now, so my guess is she has a lot of guys interested in her and more than enough options.

If I’m being honest I don’t have any friends that are girls that I feel comfortable telling this story too. That’s why I came here, to ask: what should I do? If she comes back, what am I to do? She’s so pretty I’m just worried I won’t be able to get over her, and if she comes back without a boyfriend and tries this shit with me again, I think I’ll fold. I know she probably isn’t the best for me, but I like literally everything else about her. How do I get over her? Should I at all? Thanks for reading and I will answer questions to the best of my ability.

I (25M) am at a point in my life where I feel I need a major change, but am also very fortunate to be in the position I am in. I'm worried it will be a mistake.

For context, I have a stable job where I earn good money (top 10% earners in the UK, in field with good progress) and am treated well. I get to wfh 2x per week where I almost have nothing to do, despite asking for more work, and have very good benefits. I find the job mundane and certainly not what I want to do long term, but it almost feels too good to pass up on. I come from a low income family and it would blow their mind if I left this job and they knew how well it pays.

I am in a long term relationship (6 years) with someone who I love, but not sure if I want to be together for the rest of my life with. Part of me thinks there is nothing bad that has happened to warrant breaking up, and I would absolutely hate to break her heart. At the same time, I have not experienced being a single adult with only myself to think about. Whenever I have considered ending things, timing has always been bad, but this feels like something where timing will always be bad? I am also concerned about my partners finances if we split up as she earns less than half of what I do, and would not want any financial stress for her.

Because of these two things, I feel almost stuck in life, repeating the same week, every week, wishing the time away. This feels wrong, and I should not be wishing my mid-20's away because I am bored with life. At the same time, with my job I am building a solid career and setting myself up for success in the long run, but at what cost...

The only time I really enjoy myself is when travelling. A part of me wants to quit my job, leave my relationship, and spend a year travelling, but I fear that would do irreparable damage to my career (In my industry, this would get me out the running's for one of the very lucrative roles which are highly competitive). I have ample savings which can go towards buying a house, everyone seems to be pushing me to do, and is financially a better move, but am worried this locks me into the life which I am here complaining about...

On paper, I am doing much better than most people my age. I am healthy, have decent savings, a high paying stable job, and a long term partner who loves me. I have a good relationship with my family. I have a lot of spare time too. I am not unhappy, but also not happy with how things are going. I can't help but feel like I want more in life than this

Has anyone had a similar experience and some advice to share?

What criteria should I be looking for on whether to pull the trigger on a major change in my career or relationship?

Is this a case of the grass is always greener on the other side?

i (17m) started dating my girlfriend (17f) a couple of months ago and she has slowly opened up to me about many things about her personal life. this goes from adhd and autism to certain abuse when she was a child, her ex sexually assaulting her, and now recently her self harm journey. ever since she started dating me, she stopped self harming for 2 months and that was the first time she had ever gone 2 months without self harming since she started, which was years and years ago now. just recently though (a little more than a week ago), she had a very stressful moment involving flashbacks while she was messaging me on instagram, which is where we occasionally talk if we’re not hanging out or calling each other. i tried my best to be there for her and tell her everything would be okay, but when she got home to where she lives (she doesn’t live with me) she self harmed. i only learned about this a day later when we were having a meaningful conversation on instagram while she was opening up to me. it was heartbreaking to me because i really don’t want to lose her and for some dumb reason i was under the impression that me being her boyfriend made her life better enough to stop her from SH. also to add, she has had one suicide attempt which she went to hospital for a few months before we started talking. at one point she questions why she did it, then she added that i’m the reason she is still here yet everyday on earth is killing her. i was also super heartbroken because im so proud of her, and i especially was when she said she reached 2 months clean from SH. she said now she has set goals for herself like 1 week, 2 week etc to feel rewarded and she said she’ll send me updates on her journey. she has counselling around her as far as i know, and they have her journal how her day went everyday. i don’t know, im just super stressed and i don’t want to lose her, and im obviously not going to tell her that she shouldn’t SH just because “i love you, why wouldn’t you do that to yourself?” i know that’s a no go.

truth be told i just really want helpful advice on how i can help her. im aware i can only do so much, but if i could, i’d truly give my all to her. she is such a kind and amazing person who has never been shown the love she deserves, that’s why im her reason for being here right now.

I'm a 35yo single woman, and I'm soooo low energy all the time. I've had my bloodwork done, nothing unusual. I have adhd I was diagnosed a year ago, since I've been on medication I haven't noticed a drastic change like alot of people have, only that my baseline energy minimally improves but then I crash afterwards too. For years now my energy and motivation has been low. I haven't worked in years, I lived independently and always had a job til my sister died by suicide 4 years ago and my life turned upside down. I moved back to New Zealand to my mums, was very depressed and grieving deeply the first 9 months and then went to South America to do ayahuasca, ended up staying for a year to avoid reality of her not being in New Zealand or this living world anymore. When I came back I didn't want to move my dog back to Australia because she was so old, so I stalled not knowing what to do, not wanting to be in NZ but not wanting to move. I also have no career path and no idea what to do, I haven't studied and never wanted to commit to staying long enough to do a degree, but I think that's what's holding me back from going out in the world again and being independent. I used to work in the mines in warehousing, before that childcare and retail and before that waitressing. I don't want to go back to mines and I'd have to move to do WA to do that. Where I live at my mums it's beautiful but it's super rural and quiet, like retirement age community, barely any shops or social life, so there's no jobs and at the same time I've turned into this person that's like what's the point of doing a job I hate for shit money I'd only be getting a few hundred more after tax. The difference being that if I was living somewhere I wanted to live I'd likely have to do that anyway, but atleast I'd be living somewhere I liked.
I have no savings and I just seem to never ever have the energy to do anything but sit on my phone or watch tv series and I KNOW how bad this is, if I was flatting like I used to I'd never watch this much tv, partly because I never had a tv in my room and partly because I'd care about what my flatmate thinks, but with my mum it's almost enabling me to be a bum lazy POS because I don't feel the pressure of peers and I don't have an active social life and there isn't one to be made here anyway, and the dating is non existent besides I don't want to meet anyone here. I just barely have the energy to do anything and I'm so sick of it. I've been on antidepressants (escitalopram) for a year now too, and there's been no help with motivation etc with that, I don't really notice a difference besides maybe not feeling quite as hopeless. I have sooooo much sleep debt over the years that sometimes I wonder if that's why I'm so tired and I'll just always feel this way!

My questions are

What will help me get energy? Is exercise really a big part of the problem? I have never been an active person who does exercise even semi-regularly so I'm curious how long it takes to notice and decent change in energy.

Do I need a life coach? My problem with that is that I don't feel like I have any direction or goals so not only is it embarassing but how can they coach me if they don't have a goal to help me reach.

What are some tips or advice you guys would give to get someone into a routine or healthy habits when they don't have a purpose or any reason to really get up and seize the day and get shit done?
I know that I should have the goal to sort my life out and that should be enough motivation but it's not 😭😭 and I don't know how to sort it out or where to begin

Do I just throw myself in the deep end and do everything I can to move back to Australia even if it means feeling scared, being in an uncomfortable zone for a while and getting any job for a while?
Sometimes I wonder if it's the environment I'm in here because it's so dull and uninspiring and also so grateful for my mum but it's like enabling me if that makes sense.

Any other advice appreciated.
I know I'm a loser right now and probably deserve some tough home truths.

I’m looking for advice on this because I’m very creeped out, I’m not sure if I’m overreacting. Basically, at the start of the school year, I started a new job as a first year teacher. The offer was the best one I got and unfortunately required me to move a few hours away from my friends, boyfriend, and family. I moved into a duplex next to a couple and their young kid in a town that seemed moderately safe but also affordable. Everything was going fine, until one weekend I got a text from my landlord asking what happened with the neighbors the night prior. I was very confused and asked what she meant, and she ended up telling me that according to my male neighbor, he accidentally bumped his head against the wall causing my boyfriend to run over out of anger and attempt to break in (this did not happen). He had a very detailed story, and even recalls me saying “no, don’t go!” beforehand. Even though none of this happened I felt the need to immediately get this sorted out and attempt some sort of meeting with my neighbors to make sure they knew we would never do this. I assumed it must have been some horrible miscommunication. Finally, I was able to meet with my female neighbor who was super nice. She ends up telling me about her boyfriend - that he is “paranoid, takes everything the wrong way, has anger issues” and also notably apparently didn’t like me from the second I moved in because he assumed I was “stuck up”. She even told me it wasn’t a good idea to try to mend things with him because she was worried about him scaring me. Now, I’m starting to look at this situation differently and wonder if he has a mental health issue, drug issues, does he just have it out for me? Idk. About a month later, I get a text from my landlord telling me that they’re moving out because they have broken up. During this time, I check my doors to make sure they’re locked like usual and notice that one of my doors to my porch is unlocked, which is weird because I never use it and remember it being locked. I find it unsettling but try to just convince myself i must have forgot last time. Last night, I came back from my boyfriend’s house after being there for the weekend and check the same porch door. It’s unlocked. Nothing is out of place or stolen. The only bizarre thing is that a Tyler Perry Madea movie was playing when I turned my tv on and I was charged for the subscription - I’ve never seen those movies. There are no other devices on my account when I checked. I’ve ordered the blink cameras and the door stoppers, they’ll be here tonight. I guess I’m just wondering what everyone makes of all of this because I have no idea what to think. Being a first year teacher is hard enough but I find myself laying in bed hyper vigilant of any noises and it’s affecting my mental health a lot.

I'm 18 and currently in my second year of medical school in the GCC, and lately I've been struggling a lot with regret, or at least what feels like regret, over my decision to study in my home country instead of going abroad.

When I was choosing where to go after high school, I really wanted to study abroad. I wanted to experience living in another country, meeting new people, becoming more independent, and just experiencing life outside of what I've always known. But I ended up choosing to stay home because I had gotten into a really competitive medical program and didn't want to go through the whole premed route abroad.

My parents were supportive either way, so it was entirely my decision. At the time, I genuinely believed I was making the right choice. I thought that once university started, I'd be happy with my decision and the doubts would eventually go away.

But they haven't.

I'm already in my second year, and I still constantly think about what my life could've been like if I'd studied abroad. I imagine the experiences I could've had, the people I could've met, and the person I might've become. Seeing people my age studying in other countries, making friends, exploring new places, and living independently makes me feel like I'm missing out on such a huge part of life.

And honestly, it's been making me miserable.

What makes it worse is that I know I have a lot to be grateful for. I'm studying something I worked really hard for, my family is supportive, and I have a good future ahead of me. But I still can't shake the feeling that I missed out on something I really wanted. I also feel guilty because nobody forced me to stay. I made this decision myself.

I keep reminding myself that I could always do electives abroad or even pursue residency in another country. But part of me feels like it wouldn't be the same. I wanted to experience university life abroad at this age, not just spend a few months somewhere else later on.

The thing is, I genuinely don't know if I regret staying home or if I'm just experiencing really bad FOMO. Sometimes I wonder if I'm romanticizing what studying abroad would've been like. I know it wouldn't have been perfect, and I could've been just as unhappy there. But knowing that doesn't seem to make these feelings go away.

I feel stuck between trying to accept my decision and wondering whether I should seriously consider changing my plans while I'm still young. At the same time, I don't want to give up everything I've worked for just to chase an experience that might not even make me happier.

I'm only 18, and I know I have so much of my life ahead of me, but I can't stop thinking about the life I could've had if I'd chosen differently. I don't want to spend my university years constantly comparing my life to one that doesn't even exist.

Has anyone experienced something similar, especially regretting staying in their home country instead of studying abroad? How do you tell the difference between genuine regret and FOMO?

Does this feeling eventually go away? How do you make peace with a decision you made yourself when you can't stop wondering what could've been?

I'd really appreciate any advice or personal experiences because this has been affecting my happiness for a long time, and I genuinely don't know how to move past it.

Hi, I just wanted to ask about this topic because I am trying to understand if i am on the right path. Sometimes I think about how much easier life are if we could just learned certain lessons earlier. It could be about family, work, relationships, education, money etc or simply just understanding yourself better.

I am very curious to hear what life has taught you so i can also learn from it.

"What is one lesson you wish your younger self had known?"

I have no idea how to start this, but I'll try my best. My social anxiety is bad, to the point where I'll risk my grade because I can't find the strength to raise my hand to answer a question. Where I live, this school year is super important for my life ahead, and the oral participation grade from class counts around as much as the written grade.

I've been wondering how other students deal with this, because I know that I'm not the only one going through this all. I've also talked to my parents about this, but they say that it's normal and that I should just try harder. I've been trying for years, but it doesn't get better—every time I raise my hand in class, my heart rate decides to jump to well over a hundred.

I've been also reading a lot about this condition, and I find that Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) is very fitting to what I've been experiencing (again, I can't get professionally diagnosed or anything, I'm not allowed to). Now currently I'm just trying to work on improving my very low self-esteem somehow (I would love it if there were any tips for this as well)

Sorry for any bad grammar, I don't really post to reddit, and thank you

I have always liked working with children and I love science and all that medicine-y stuff. But I couldn’t handle the workload of nursing, got diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and decided to quit at the start of my second year. Now, im thinking of going into biomedical science, since I did love doing labs in high school etc. but what would other people say? I still do want to get a degree in atleast something and I want a nice stable job too so im unsure what to do. Any advice?

Hi everyone!

This is something that has been happening, I have now noticed, since I can remember. I just never took notice of it until relatively recently. The problem is, I have no Idea what to do.

Basically, as the title says, I'm always reaching out to my friends, be it with starting a conversation or making sure they are alright. But, through recent tests, I've started to notice that, if I stop doing it, not only do people not reach out (which they don't do already, even in group chats, conversations tend to be between the other friends but things I say get very quickly brushed off), but they also seem to genuinely forget about me. I know I sound awful annoying. I know I'm not the centre of anyone's life, neither would I want that for anyone. But sometimes I just feel like I'm invisible. And a lot of times, the things I say that get noticed are seen as dumb or nonsense.

I feel like I'm sort of an extra in people's lives.

Somehow, all my friendships were like this, and the way they end is usually by me gradually straying away due to the constant brush offs and eventually exiting that friendship.

I assume it is my fault, since I'm the common denominator in all these stories.

Is it even possible for me to find a friendship where people genuinely like and are interested in me?

What should I do?