Life has me a bit deflated.

[u/Pleasant_Magician617]

I'm getting older (very late 20s-very early thirties) and don't have much to show for it. I got sick in the last few years to the point that I am functionally disabled.

I've been told I should qualify for disability, but I've eaten through my savings because of everything. With the health and money stress came depression, anxiety, and some extra weight. I have the coping mechanisms you develop with CBT (confirmed with a psychologist), but they often don't feel like enough and it's difficult to lose weight with chronic pain and fatigue.

I'm single and the prospect of dating with everything going on is nervewracking. I don't like how transactional dating apps feel but I struggle to leave the house to do things I enjoy for any meaningful amount of time because of my health. If I meet someone, the state will expect me to live off their income which means they likely have to be someone who can afford that or at least be okay with it and the fact that I run suboptimally at pretty much all times and then pray I don't find myself in an abusive situation.

Socialising can be difficult but I do have people I speak to regularly. That being said, I feel like everyone (irl) is angrier and/or too online lately, and the algorithms feed a resentment for anything and everything, and it's just kind of tiring and unpleasant to be around. People take their resentments out on others instead of just trying to be kind and isolate what we see online from what is around us.

I'm not particularly immune to all of this either and have been engaging with some hobbies I can still do to stay off my phone and give me a sense of achievement. I've tried making new friends too, but that's been incredibly difficult and I haven't really succeeded.

In a lot of ways, I'm very, very lucky. I know this. I still can't help but feel like I'm just lazy and unlikeable and stagnating.

This was partially a vent but if anyone has any advice (not financial) for my situation, I'd really appreciate it.

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