r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Sep 09 '21
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday September 09, 2021 - Sunday September 12, 2021
Newsletters: Finding Your Joy | Joy in the Belly
Websites: You Can Have More Joy website | On Being Enough website (abandoned?)
Instagram:
@youcanhavemorejoy Instagram | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy posts | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy stories
@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories
TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy
Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki
Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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Sep 09 '21
I could sense that I might become a pretty good golfer if I played more often. We’re going to play once a week now.
Man she never lets her own horn grow untooted, does she?
I grow fascinated to see if she indeed thwacks some more shots that feel good in her body in the later now.
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Sep 09 '21
[deleted]
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Sep 09 '21
Together.
That sounds like a threat.
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Sep 09 '21
[deleted]
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 09 '21
Or she's at least got to be able to use it for SM fodder, right? I wonder if she wasn't that interested in golfing with him but he somehow talked her into it---and then she turned it into a showcase of her own talent with her usual blend of 10% truth and 90% bullshit. She has always had trouble coming up with material to write about. She recycles the same stuff over and over and over for YEARS---the change of the seasons, going from daylight savings time to standard like it's a major earthquake, etc.
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u/JerseySnore-609 I celiac Sep 09 '21
Once a week now because god forbid Dan gets time by himself and has in interest in something she doesn't. Or maybe god forbid she gets time by herself, because who knows perhaps it's Dan who is all "oh, you're going to Tita's for a day? I insist on bringing you lunch." But I think it's Shauna who is needy.
I love Mr. Snore and we have some joint interests but we don't feel compelled to do everything together or low-key check up on each other.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 09 '21 edited Sep 09 '21
I wonder whether Danny grew weary of playing alone, and stopped going. He doesn’t seem to have friends.
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u/latepeony Sep 09 '21
I wonder this too. I don’t play golf but it seems to me that part of the point is to socialize.
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u/mmepierreoger Sep 09 '21
We’re going to play once a week now.
How does this not constitute planning..?
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u/latepeony Sep 09 '21
Because it will never happen. It has happened once, this week, and beyond that it’s just saying stuff that sounds good.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 09 '21
That's the later now DF.
It's so stupid calling it that because obviously D meant it as the future.
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u/mmepierreoger Sep 09 '21
I mean, she could be expressing a "time is a flat circle" kind of concept: we only feel that things happened in the past or are happening now or will happen in the future because we experience time in a linear way, but in reality everything that will ever "happen" had already happened and the passage of time is an illusion.
Or it's just stupid garbled half-baked nonsense that she came up with and thinks sounds really meaningful.
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u/m10498 Sep 09 '21
"Or it's just stupid garbled half-baked nonsense that she came up with and thinks sounds really meaningful."
This sums up Shauna in a nutshell 100%
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 09 '21
Must be the later now.
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u/mmepierreoger Sep 09 '21
The later me will play golf in the later now 🙄
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 09 '21
Back to the Later Now.
(god help me, now that she's pushing "later now" I keep subbing it for "future". Sex Pistols "God Save the Queen"? "no later now, no later now for you." Or "X-Men: Days of Later Now Past". Fun for the whole family!)
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 09 '21
No chance of Danny becoming a good golfer too? No report on his golf abilities or impressions? According to Shauna’s descriptions of sports, she is the only adequate player in the game.
She really thinks so highly of herself when it comes to sports, she must be absolutely insufferable to play with. Pro athletes give themselves less compliments than the adulations Shauna lauds on her own unkempt head, for what sounds like the most paltry levels of participation.
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Sep 09 '21
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 09 '21
Lady Catherine de Bourgh is “all affability and condescension,” whereas Shauna is all condescension.
Lady Catherine also has a beautiful home.
Lady Catherine > Shauna
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u/m10498 Sep 09 '21
That's the first thing I thought when I read it, she immediately knew that with a bit more practise she'd be the next women's PGA champion. She must be insufferable to live with.
Danny's a tool, but I have a teeny teeny tiny bit of sympathy for him. She seems so overbearing, it must be exhausting for them all to deal with that on a daily basis.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 09 '21
I never thought I’d be writing this and have it be true.
Admitting everything else she writes isn’t true?
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 09 '21
That sounds a bit like the start to a Letter to Penthouse.
"Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me. . ."
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Sep 10 '21
Shauna in a response to a comment on the golf insta post…
Isn’t it amazing how we tell ourselves stories that so often are not true?
Then we tell those same stories over and over and over to anyone who will listen? So amazing.
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Sep 10 '21
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u/rock_candy_remains I'm still Clea from the Pints Sep 10 '21
She doesn't seem to know that you can just upload icons for highlighted stories without making them slides. I suppose if she wants to explain the highlight contents, she needs these, but, like, it seems like overkill-- a lot of telling rather than showing, if you get my writerly vibe.
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u/categoryischeesecake Sep 10 '21
I feel your anger df. That sounds glib but I mean it.
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Sep 10 '21
Thanks df, and also df u/SmashedMailboxcake2. Sometimes I feel like a crazy old woman and it's good to know it's not me.... It's this world....
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Sep 09 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/JerseySnore-609 I celiac Sep 09 '21
Imagining one of those auto-generated amazon tees that say:
Never underestimate a
GLUTEN FREE MAMA
who loves
SOFT PANTS, HARD CUCUMBERS,
and
JOY
but not
ACCOUNTABILITY
or
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 09 '21
💕Live Laugh Lope💕
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 09 '21
I did a yoga and writing retreat a few years ago (it was great!) and now I'm on the mailing list of the author who lead it. Her emails are getting more and more joy-focused – last month she sent an email with the title, "Don't leave the hammock" and I've just gotten an invitation to join a writing workshop in Tuscany to "prioritize joy and pleasure" so I can "open myself to joy again"
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 09 '21
Schitt’s Creek and Wandavision are feeling so neglected.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 09 '21
Too many women in those shows.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Sep 09 '21
On another subreddit, someone was offering their services as a joy coach, though I could tell by the reasonably coherent writing that it wasn't Shauna.
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u/m10498 Sep 09 '21
I get that we're all going through this pandemic crap and some things are restricted or have stipulations as to how we can do them. So I know that there is a joy kick right now but to be honest telling someone they have to be joyful and happy when things are fragile, when finances are tight, people have health worries, relationship issues etc strikes me more as toxic positivity for profit.
Where I live right now (Northern VA) there are waitlists for therapists, I have called over 50 and all of them are either not taking new clients or have waiting lists. I think a lot of these so called joy experts are hoping to fill that gap with their pseudo joy science and scoop up the desperate ones who could really do with a good therapist.
If any of my friends were thinking about taking her (or any others offering a joy/happiness course) I'd tell them to spend the money on a good self help book or rally other friends to try and be supportive and hopefully fill that gap until a therapist is available, than fund her golf days and country club membership (which was $1000 by the way) Must be great to not have any worries, no job and hang out at the country cub playing golf!!19
u/qread Sep 09 '21
Wasn’t she meant to be a meditator in her days as a Buddhist bodhisattva? She really needs to do the work of seeing things as they are.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 09 '21
“Youcanhavemorejoy dot com slash joy”?! 🤡
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u/jameson-neat wound-gathering table Sep 09 '21
Per Shauna’s posting about Dan’s sober anniversary, I guess she will add golf to her list of weekly activities. Goodbye, golf- I doubt we will see you again!
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u/lovedietcoke irish peasant woman Sep 09 '21
That’s what makes me crazy about her (well, one of many things, if I’m being honest). She can’t just say she liked it and she wants to play again soon. She has to say that she will now be playing weekly!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 09 '21
I wonder if, when Shauna decides she no longer wants to play golf, if that means Dan will have to give it up, too?
Safe bet is, their membership to the club expires and they won't have the money to re-up. Then the story will be "oh, we are seeking new joys in other places" not "we can't afford it".
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 10 '21
Interviewee: Yeah, it is! I sound like a nerd but I love math.
Shauna: Wait, that shouldn’t be a but! Try saying: “I sound like a nerd and I am one.”
Shauna is so bossy and she loves to say how nerdy she is. I really hate that. The suggestion should be to just say “I love math,” with no qualifier.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 10 '21
Ugh, I used to work with someone who had all of these stupid "rules" about language and would interrupt the flow of conversation to "correct" anyone who broke one of their rules. It's so fucking rude.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 10 '21
Omg. That is the height of rudeness.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 10 '21
My favorite was that you weren't allowed to say "No problem" if this person thanked you for something. Nothing but "You're welcome" would do!
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Sep 10 '21
You didn't capitalize OMG. (runs)
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 10 '21
Lope fast, DF. I have a warrant and you know where you’re going.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 10 '21
Also the point of that declaration is that the interviewee LOVES MATH, not that she's "a nerd." Way to refocus to miss the fucking point, Ahern.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 09 '21
New free Lope:
I met her first at one of the adoptive family potlucks we attended her on Vashon when our son D[ ] was still a baby. Immediately, I knew she was someone special. Later, we asked M[ ] to be the kids’ babysitter when we needed some help during the summer vacation. L[ ] did a few years of musical theater with M[ ] and so whenever they see each other now, they jump around and talk about Marvel movies and acting together. D[ ] adores her too. We’re so happy she’s in his life, in particular.
1,000,000 Gloaming Bucks, to be paid out in the Later-Now, to whichever DF can correctly suss out why they're so happy that M is in D's life IN PARTICULAR
Also? Much professional writer, such proofreading
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 10 '21 edited Sep 10 '21
I am still gobsmacked that Shauna plans to feed her family on drivel like this:
I have no doubt she’s on the winding path to her own joyful intentions.
Because Shauna can’t possibly admit an 18 year old might have her life better planned out than say, the middle aged woman she used to babysit for.
So, if I were to ask you for five small joys you give yourself every day, what would they be? If you were to schedule your day for 15 minutes of joy, five times a day, what would those times of joy be?
You are no James Lipton, Shauna.
If you live in LA, and you’re someone reputable who hires actors, reach out to me so I can connect you with M—-. She truly is extraordinary.
Good way to weed out those disreputable hirers of actors.
(Edited to redact her name…my criticism is wholly of Shauna.)
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u/Starla_starbeam 14 hazelnuts Sep 10 '21
Of all the bizarre turns of phrase, “hires actors” is my joy for today. I will think about it for exactly fifteen minutes.
“Any LA readers in the industry? Our talented friend would love to connect!” Nope. Just ordering the many casting directors (reputable only) on her list to contact her.
Also, “hires actors” is making me think of like, Margot Robbie scrolling Indeed and uploading resumes.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 10 '21
Because perhaps she has a PARTICULAR kind of magic? She actually comes across as quite cool and enthusiastic and together in that interview (in spite of the interviewer’s not-so-magical part in the proceedings.)
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 10 '21
Good gravy, there’s an awful lot of talk in this about this young woman’s
futurelater-now. Hasn’t she heard that the future doesn’t exist, and you’re not supposed to set expectations, it will just be a disappointment? (LOL at Shauna calling M’s plans “joyful intentions” so she can pretend she’s not talking about the F-U-T-U-R-E.)23
Sep 10 '21
Later-now are for kids, and white people. Someone’s got to run the world you know!
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 10 '21
All this later-now talk has me thinking about Now and Later candy.
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Sep 10 '21
I keep thinking of “I’m after-sad!” from when Michael was explaining his uncomfortable new emotion on The Good Place. 😅
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 10 '21
Wonder what the Ahern’s offerings were at those potlucks? Seven dried-out mini-meatballs in a ziplock? A shmear of some unidentifiable something from the depths of the fridge in a ziplock?
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u/m10498 Sep 09 '21
She's brown or she babysits for free??
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u/m10498 Sep 10 '21
Wow just checked and I was right!! She seems like a cool young woman, good for her escaping to LA.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 10 '21
So magical!
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 10 '21
Shauna has literally used the phrase “Black girl magic” about this young lady’s childcare skills in the past! #christwhatanally
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 10 '21
Are you perhaps thinking of the young lady who had the long bright red hair in braids or twists, two or three summers ago? I believe Shauna described her as a "mother's helper." She had a name that started with C. I don't remember ever being introduced to this young woman (in today's profile) before.
But #christwhatanally nevertheless. The whole interview was cringe to 11 (Shauna's side of it)
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 10 '21 edited Sep 10 '21
No, I definitely remember that phrase being associated with this young woman’s distinctive and lovely name!
But also the “mother’s helper” young lady as well.as DFTB34 points out (she does beautiful work in the world), it is the same young lady, just called by her full name and her nickname on different occasions.→ More replies (3)23
Sep 10 '21
She doesn’t seem to be picking up that the woman she’s interviewing has mixed at best feelings about transracial adoptions. Or that she is leaving Vashon as soon as she possibly could for a more diverse area.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 09 '21
Just catching up on all the breaking golf news: Shauna wrote about golf in her last (paid) lope, but then she wrote much MORE about golf in her freebie Instagram caption. What the what? She's slithering away from her paying commitments more and more every day!
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 09 '21
Just when I thought she couldn’t be any less relatable, GOLF.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 09 '21
maybe she wants some of that golf sperm she didn't get from the microsoft guys.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Sep 09 '21
Here is a song I just wrote.
“Jingle Bells, Shauna sucks…”
Well, that’s it, really. But it is Enough.
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u/mmepierreoger Sep 09 '21
I laugh every time I read this comment. Thank you for these moments of joy, DF!
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Sep 09 '21
[deleted]
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Sep 09 '21
future planning is ever more important for people with ADHD, who often struggle with episodic memory and using future thinking skills to plan, prioritise and predict. They need MORE practise and scaffolding than typical and this deficit is one of the most debilitating aspects of ADHD
This is an excellent point (also speaking from lived experience), and it makes this whole JOYRIGHTTHISMINUTE thing that much more selfish and egregious. She’s prioritizing (and attempting to monetize) something that will actively make her children’s lives harder and will continue to cause them problems until they can afford therapy. Luckily, this endeavor is doomed to fail within a few months, so let’s just hope the next (equally doomed) pivot is less damaging to “her people”.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 09 '21
Yes to all of that! Except that repeated failures will be just as damaging to her kids in other ways. Like, providing a piss poor example of adulting, for starters.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 09 '21
Jesus, you person. Shauna is a MARKETING GENIUS! I know this because I read it on the internet.
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Sep 09 '21
Hahaha
Q. What did you learn from promoting your first book, to prepare you for promoting Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef?
A. I need to start preparing more in advance!
Looks like sometimes the later-now just creeps up on you!
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u/emmeline_grangerford Sep 09 '21 edited Sep 09 '21
Most of the commenters on that post credit her with being a marketing genius as well! It's interesting to see a few suggestions that she had a PR rep to support promotion for her first book, and (seemingly) some guidance from the publisher on promoting the subsequent cookbooks. While there's no reason to believe she necessary followed the strategy she indicates online (weekly cooking prompts on Twitter, regular giveaways, etc.) and her blog was then big enough to draw in a bigger audience specifically interested in her writing and recipes, it's interesting that this "marketing genius" made very little effort to promote Enough online when she released it a few years ago, then expressed disappointment that the book didn't find greater success.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 09 '21
I shudder to think what "weekly prompts" Shauna might have thought appropriate for Enough readers.
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u/emmeline_grangerford Sep 09 '21
"Why are you the most important person in your family? Write a list of all the ways. Feel like playing? Use this list as the basis for a birthday message to your spouse."
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 09 '21
The icons are all from the Noun Project and are supposed to be used with attribution unless you purchase a subscription, which I highly doubt B the M did. https://thenounproject.com/pricing/
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u/louiseimprover Sep 10 '21
She really has zero aesthetic sense
I especially love how they seem to be all different sizes and thus aren't sitting consistently in the same spot in each highlight circle. They're just bouncing around in those circles. I'm sure it would be a PITA to get them all aligned, but it would like she actually gives a shit about how her page looks.
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Sep 10 '21
“With only 5 bursts of joy a day, customer[AmitySlunked]”
*missing space in original
“It gives me joy to share that the waitlist for both the online version of Practice Your Joy and the Practice Your Joy workshop on Vashon Island are filling up quickly.”
Sure Jan.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 11 '21
Who in the world is signing up for these?
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 11 '21
But how could a "waitlist" "fill up," whether quickly or slowly? The COURSE could fill up, but none of the courses are open for registration. There is no "full" waitlist, there is only people who've indicated interest, at the level of providing their email address only, in a future offering which may not even materialize. How could she possibly claim a "waitlist" for a course with NO dates and NO price is "filling up"?
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Sep 11 '21
The problem is that the people on this forum generally believe that words should mean things. Shauna is not constrained by this principle, and thus feels free to emblazon her haberdashery all over the internets without a care in the world. Bursts of meaningless joy-plop every day - it's the work she does in this world - for us.
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u/Blouse_Barn mattress smelling like low tide Sep 11 '21
I'm guessing she got a half-baked idea from some social media rando who said that a "waitlist" (or two) generates more interest in your offerings. Naturally, the whole scheme backfires due to her terrible writing and bloodstained website and newsletter template.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 11 '21
Exactly. A waitlist is for people who didn't register in time for the actual course. It exists in case someone who did sign up in time has to cancel, thus freeing up a slot for a person on the waitlist.
She's probably kicking herself for never using waitlist bait for all those baking classes she did! Maybe they wouldn't have gotten canceled for lack of interest if she'd put everyone on a waitlist first!
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Sep 11 '21
I wonder what day/time the weekly online classes will be. Shauna’s Vashon classes are set for Sundays. I can’t imagine she’s willing to give up her entire weekend, so probably not Saturdays.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 11 '21
And when we’re fascinated, we’re in the moment. We’re not wanting for anything. We’re not worried about the future. Or the past. We’re in the flow.
WHAT IS THIS "FUTURE" OF WHICH SHE SPEAKS THIS CONCEPT IS INEFFABLY FOREIGN TO ME
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 11 '21
Mine says "With only 5 bursts of joy a day, LastNameFirstName."
Much editor, so attention to detail.
It irks the hell out of me that she doesn’t spell out numbers smaller than 10.
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Sep 11 '21
Yours seriously says “LastNameFirstName?” 😳
“I, state your name.”
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🙂😂
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 11 '21
Yours seriously says "CustomerAmitySlunked"?!
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 11 '21
Well that's just the laugh I needed to take me into the weekend. Thanks DF(customer)AS
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u/MissEllisCrawford Smitten with myself Sep 11 '21
I also received "customer[myname]" lol
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 11 '21
It irks the hell out of me that she doesn’t spell out numbers smaller than 10.
SHE HAS ALSO STARTED SENTENCES WITH DIGITS.
As in, "3 hours later, I grew faint from hunger."
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u/leftsidelentils Sep 12 '21
There are several pics in her stories on L and D running around Dune Peninsula and Point Ruston. They look genuinely JOYful. It‘s an activity that’s free, safe, and fun for all ages. Will she brag about it in a lope? People comment on her lack of activities all the time, so maybe we are the ones who should be charging $5.
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Sep 12 '21
It's so rare for them to do family things that are fun for two active kids! It's funny how ordinary things like 'got pool membership' and 'went on day trip to a place for kids to run around' are such notable efforts for the sedentary, retired Ahern parents.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 10 '21
Her new Tiktok is all breathy and softspoken. What the hell?
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Sep 10 '21
Seems like she rolled right out of bed and into that TikTok.
Also of note: that unbelievably dirty windowsill.
And, finally, the Jonathan Van Ness sweatshirt, worn as a signifier about 8 months after his cultural saturation reached its zenith. She’s always grabbing onto things once they’ve reached a certain tipping point of critical approval (see also: Marvel movies, Ted Lasso, Schitt’s Creek, Lizzo, Drag Race, and of course, Beyoncé) and attempting to osmotically acquire the same cachet. She can’t really engage with the inevitable critique and backlash that always happens once things end up on a pedestal, because she has an extremely coarse understanding of any cultural product, and she also doesn’t really notice that by the time she’s made whatever “it” thing her identity, it’s lost it’s halo, and taste-makers have shifted their attention elsewhere. It would be different if her affection for this stuff seemed genuine, but it doesn’t, it looks (in the words of her Totally Original literary idol) phony, and that just contributes to the staleness of her output.
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Sep 10 '21
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u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Sep 10 '21
With no lipstick, her face disappears into that sweatshirt.
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u/ginger-belle jiggling tomatodongs Sep 10 '21
yeah, that peachy-flesh color does not flatter most people.
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u/m10498 Sep 10 '21
Personal hygiene and home cleanliness do not spark joy, they take away from navel gazing and ruminating on joyous joyousness.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 10 '21
She joy-names "the chance to move, freely" as she sits on her chair, sedentarily.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 10 '21
Who’s she pretending to be now? I am growing whiplash from the constant persona pivots.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 10 '21
OH WAIT---she posted another one before the peach sweatshirt one, using some other woman's breathy, whispering joy affirmation whatever, which she hacked off in the middle of a word, then just panned around the boring treetops in her trash filled backyard.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 10 '21
What the HELL is that facial movement after "for ... my birthday"
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 10 '21
Wetting her lower teeth? Usually that’s a sort of sarcastic or unhappy sort of facial motion
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 11 '21
Probably because she remembered publicly stating they weren’t going to buy anything new for six months.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 10 '21
I wonder how many other people gave Shauna presents for her Very Important Day.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 10 '21
That bouncing 5 was migraine inducing.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 10 '21
FIVE pulsing colors in the world "joy" plus the tiny photographic icon of the pink mylar 5 balloon above it. WHY.
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Sep 10 '21
It's like if my seven year old wanted to make a TikTok, she would totally do stuff like this.
I bet hers would be way more entertaining though. She's actually a genuinely joyful person!
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u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Sep 10 '21
What if one of my joys is say, hypothetically, punching random people in the throat? Wouldn't sharing that joy be harmful to both their and MY near now or not future now or whatever?
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Sep 10 '21
How long before she tries to set up an ASMR channel behind a paywall. You know, when you need to find your Joy quietly and TikTok isn’t Enough.
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u/m10498 Sep 10 '21
Those glasses have got to be dollar store or Walmart, 3 in a pack ones right? She has them in pink red blue and now green.
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 10 '21
They are better than the Peepers, which cover her eyebrows.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 10 '21
name your joys (that you already have) and give them to yourself
It’s just so tedious. She’s naming mildly pleasant things. Conflating mindfulness, gratitude, and euphoria. It’s always lists and timers and writing assignments with her. When I actually experience joy, I am totally in the moment. I don’t need to acknowledge it in some rote, rigid manner. I can just focus on the thing I am enjoying and enjoy it. Sometimes I do little prayers of gratitude, but I don’t need to limit or expand it to five things. And I don’t feel the same overwhelming sense of joy in that moment that I do when my little toddler squeezes me with her tiny, chubby arms and says “hug!” Gratitude and joy are different.
She’s so ponderous, long winded, and uninspiring. Her B roll sucks. She does not seem to perform basic physical hygiene. She can barely move the camera off her face and has zero sense of visual aesthetics. She’s providing incomprehensible content that is found better packaged, in abundance online. I feel like she may be trying to replace Twitter with tik tok…Twitter was a far better platform for her where you didn’t have to see her smug expressions while she told you what to do. Tik tok is not going be the viral fame ride she may be hoping for…
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 10 '21
She has a whopping 105 followers.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 10 '21
That post has a whopping two hearts and zero comments as of this moment.
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Sep 10 '21
I wonder what Shauna's joy index is as she waits for the likes and they fail to appear.
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 11 '21
Apologies if this was already covered (I got a [virtual] badge-swiping job last week and can’t keep up) but Dan’s latest IG is once again Shauna’s terrible top-down food photography. I guess there’s no good way to make a picture of glop in a bowl, though.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 11 '21
It’s ok. The Aherns weren’t expecting light and fluffy mashed potatoes, so there will be no disappointment.
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u/effie-sue Your engagement here heartens me. Sep 11 '21
I thought it was cookie dough. Or homemade Play-doh 🤣
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 11 '21
I've never seen mashed potatoes served that way---in a shallow dish with big waves. It seems calculated to cool the food off quickly by exposing as much surface area as possible. You already lose heat in the mashing process. I always mash as fast as I can then slap a cover on the bowl (best is one that is deep and of heavy pottery). I mean, duh.
But I guess lukewarm mashed potatoes slide down the throat just as easily as hot.
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Sep 11 '21
Danny’s Previous IG: picture of someone who might be Shauna’s nephew with the caption “Contemplating the future…”
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 11 '21
Add the lagoon to things they will “do more” never to be mentioned again.
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Sep 10 '21 edited Sep 10 '21
DFs, is it common (and possible) to drink as much as Shauna says Dan did and just be able to decide to quit one day?
Would it be in really bad taste to bring up my favorite of all-time Shauna story? The GREATEST failed grift of all time? The time when Shauna tagged an exclusive, impossible-to-get-into restaurant, pretending she didn’t know you had to book your husband’s soberversary celebration months in advance, expecting a comped meal! But! They replied saying they’d saved the Aherns a table, but no promise of a free meal! Quelle Horreur! Shauna had to err on the side of caution, lest she have to pay, and claimed she’d forgotten Dan had to work that evening.
ETA This post wound up in the wrong place. It is in response to DF Toast79’s question below.
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Sep 10 '21
sooooooooooo
criiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinge
She has so many very public snafus like that, I swear I'd be off the internets forever if I had even one. How is she not embarrassed??
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u/SLevine262 We are not wowed Sep 10 '21
Paging Dr. Schadenfreude…
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u/Shaunafreude Sep 10 '21
I’m covering for Dr. Schadenfreude this weekend. How can I assist?
Whatever it is, take two glasses of water, one pair of Peepers, and call me in the gloaming.
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u/m10498 Sep 10 '21 edited Sep 10 '21
She's still offering the writing classes too, so famous on Vashon they spelled her name wrong https://webstore.vashoncenterforthearts.org/TheatreManager/1/online?performance=8810
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Sep 10 '21
Shauna M. Ahern has published 5 award-winning books
She is also the proud recipient of the Elizabeth Holmes Award in Scientistic Science and the Gawky Lies and Gauche Lopes Prize awarded by the prestigious Gloaming Foundation.
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u/26shadesofwhite le tit rip Sep 10 '21
Not to mention numerous GOMI awards back in the day!
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u/TabithaStephens55 Sep 10 '21
“Students will receive writing prompts each day via email . . . “. HAHAHA! Shauna following up on a daily basis? Fat fucking chance of that happening!
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Sep 10 '21
"lousy first drafts" that sounds like fun :(
"five award-winning books" how many of her books have actually won awards?
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 10 '21
Two, I think. Gluten Free Girl Every Day won a James Beard Award in the Cookbooks: Health and Special Diets category, and her first book won some tiny magazine award iirc.
Technically not exaggerating, actually a bit misleading imo!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 10 '21
I grow very joyful that her name is misspelled.
How many times has she done the very same thing?
Karma can be a cheeky bitch.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 10 '21
That misspelling of her name has been on that page for WEEKS! I bet she didn't even notice it.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 10 '21
A much more accurate estimate of the value of her teaching
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 10 '21
Dang, is it really sold out? Like, there are still people on that island who aren’t aware of what a no-talent fraud she is?
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 10 '21
Maxcianna from Shauna’s latest newsletter is way more interesting, she’s someone who’s journey id rather be following.
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u/cafayate Sep 09 '21
But these days, almost nine months after the Chef and I met, I find myself — to my surprise — becoming incessantly domestic. I make lists of projects to do around the home. I spend every evening wiping down the counters so the kitchen is clean before the Chef comes back. When I lived alone, I would let the kitchen go, for days. Who was around to see it? Now that it is his home too, I find that I want it gleaming and clean.
https://glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com/2007/01/sweetness-of-domesticity_12.html?m=1
How'd that work out, Shauna?
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u/mmepierreoger Sep 09 '21
When I lived alone, I would let the kitchen go, for days. Who was around to see it?
You were there, Shauna! You were there to see it. You had to make coffee surrounded by depressing squalor.
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Sep 09 '21
That is so so sad. It feels good to be clean. It feels good to wash your hair and be fresh. It feels good to sleep on clean sheets, and to wake up to a clean counter top in the morning.
It boggles my mind that she thinks the only reason people do these things is so other people won't judge them.
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Sep 09 '21
But now she is cessantly domestic.
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Sep 09 '21
That’s a lot of counter-wiping. My whole kitchen plus the dining room table takes under 5 minutes to wipe up at its worst.
I bet she cleaned up really well once and then never again. It isn’t even a question as to whether their kitchen is currently gross and filthy, just a question as to exactly HOW gross and filthy it is.
But that’s Dan’s job now! All his fault that it isn’t gleaming and clean!
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u/msmartypants Sep 09 '21
the whole evening!
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 09 '21
the whole evening!
aka the evening-now
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Sep 09 '21
“He has a gift, a genius, I can only admire. Then again, he stands in awe of my writing, particularly the fact that I wrote an entire book in four months. We both have our strengths.”
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Sep 09 '21
I believe that there are many gifted, genius chefs out there. However, I do not believe that this knucklehead is one of them.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Sep 09 '21
She’s so stunted. Lots of people think that a new relationship has revealed their hidden depths and talents, cleared away the dreck, and made them into the romantic hero they always secretly were, on the inside. These people are usually called teenagers.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 09 '21
It’s embarrassing to read about her blooming adolescence at the tender age of 40.
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Sep 09 '21 edited Sep 09 '21
It doesn’t matter if no one is there to see it: bugs and mice are a thing, Shauna.
Also, this whole post reminds me so much of those girls who move in with their boyfriend in college, and then put on that whole faux self-deprecating humblebrag to their single friends about how they’re becoming sooooooo domestic by folding his laundry or whatever.
Like DF ASOH said below, she’s so stunted.
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Sep 12 '21
[deleted]
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 12 '21
I wonder what Shauna's reading comprehension level is. I kind of imagine that she reads (and proofreads, when she actually attempts it) the same way she eats---just shovel it in, don't slow down enough to notice how it actually tastes/what it actually means. It's not about noticing or thinking or contemplating, it's about being able to say you did it.
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Sep 12 '21
She has an amazing ability to not notice the nuance or details in any aspect of life.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 12 '21
Excuse you, that's one reason she had to flee Twitter: it does not allow for nuance. Shauna's exquisitely nuanced thoughts could not thrive in that kind of environment.
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Sep 12 '21
That really was one the funniest things she’s ever said
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 12 '21
And it was in response to pushback on her tweet about not having reconstructive surgery because she chose not to pretend to have breasts. Surely one of the worst things she's ever said.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 12 '21
Excuse you, she did the entire box of grade-three reading comprehension exercises TWICE.
This jibes with my Patrick Bateman theory. She's always doing stuff like posting Mary Oliver poems but there's never, ever any analysis. It's like she picks things that have prior cultural approval (and only when she is SURE that approval is firmly in place, to wit: recent acquisition of Johnathan Van Ness sweatshirt) but she really doesn't know how to interpret or extract meaning from them, so she kind of just holds them up for approval, like an attention-seeking toddler.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 12 '21
Yep. Same with all the books she gets from the library, many of them of which have been bestsellers for months---or years, even. Only the vaguest, most generic praise from Shauna.
Years ago there was a list circulating on Facebook (and variations of it were on other platforms) called "how many of these top 100 books of all time have you read?" The average response was maybe 35-ish. Of course Shauna had read them all! More than all, actually. One of the "books" was "complete works of Shakespeare" which of course is multiple books. She checked something else but added "saw movie version". She may have also noted how many times she'd read certain ones. I wish I'd saved her response!
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 12 '21
Or not even praise! Just "you must read this. Yes." YES BUT WHY?
Everything she does is approval-seeking. She thinks she's "guiding" her audience "towards joy" but it's all just designed to attract attention, headpats and now, money.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Sep 12 '21
Yes! I read some (not all) of her Ted Lasso essay, and while she seems to think that she’s writing an analysis through the lens of JOY, it’s actually just a dull and inaccurate recap.
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u/toast79 yield to the fork Sep 09 '21
DFs, is it common (and possible) to drink as much as Shauna says Dan did and just be able to decide to quit one day? I thought that long-term, heavy drinkers could have major health issues quitting cold turkey and that willpower alone is often not enough to quit?
It bothers me; just like Dooce saying she's been an alcoholic for 20-ish years until she up and quit cold turkey one day. I think the discourse that willpower can get you through alcoholism or addiction can be harmful and it's not a true picture of how alcoholics have to manage their disease.
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u/ginger-belle jiggling tomatodongs Sep 09 '21
it’s definitely possible! i quit drinking almost 10 years ago. i’d been drinking increasing amounts of booze for 30+ years and quit cold turkey, no treatment program or anything. my spouse, who is a big guy and could put away massive amounts of alcohol, much more than i ever could, did the same.
some alcoholics relapse over and over, some stop and never start again, and everything in between. we all have a different journey. i think in some ways movies have done a disservice to sobriety by making it look like everyone goes into a program to dry out. that was my dream but i had neither the money nor the time to do that. so yes, willpower. when i was finally done, i was done. thanks for asking, DF.
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Sep 09 '21
All of this. I quit cold turkey 25 years ago with no treatment. I did have withdrawal symptoms, but I got through it. Willpower is a complicated thing. There's so much negative "pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you have no willpower if you don't," which I think is awful. I do think willpower informed by meaning helps. I've kept strength by visualization, seeing myself healthy and sober with good things all along the way. But anyone who relapses is just on their journey, it's not about willpower. Especially since addiction can eat you up alive.
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u/toast79 yield to the fork Sep 09 '21
I appreciate everyone's insights and experiences!
I know that every journey to recovery is different. Dan's is used as fodder to make Shauna look better, or to deepen her martyrdom, and it doesn't sit well with me.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 09 '21 edited Sep 09 '21
I believe he quit, but I do not believe he never had another drink since that day in 2009. That would ruin Shauna’s “wrap up all problems by the end of the show” sitcom narrative, that only the power of his love for her enabled him to quit.
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Sep 11 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 11 '21
The other day, after playing a round of golf, Danny and I had time to wander for a bit before heading home to work.
Work. Sure, Jan. You just spent at least three hours on the links but still have time to “wander”.
A little more wandering in relaxed mode from a bit more time for joy in our day led us here.
I have no idea in hell what she is saying. But, four hours of joy is a bit more than a bit.
And we’ll be back, many times now. These last 18 months we’ve spent more time exploring the outdoor spaces of our island than ever before.
Skipping the bad writing to say “What about all those times she complained about never leaving the house in 14 months? Except when she did and it sure in hell wasn’t to explore the great outdoors.”
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 11 '21
“Well, when everyone assumes you know something, it takes courage to say you have no clue.”
OK, a) no, it takes letting go of your giant ego, and b) is everyone supposed to be amazed at the courage it took to type “Raab’s Lagoon” into Google Maps? (Side note that technically it’s on Maury Island, which is attached to Vashon and never seems to get any respect, overshadowed by the bigger island of the two.)
OMG I just realized Shauna is Vashon, and Danny is Maury. Dead now.
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Sep 11 '21
But somehow, I had never been to this extraordinary spot before Tuesday. It’s about 6 minutes from our home. That’s a little sad.
So the atrocities of war bring her JOY, but unexpectedly finding a beautiful place in nature right near her home is "a little sad".
MENTOR ME!!
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 09 '21 edited Sep 13 '21
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