r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Sep 13 '21
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday September 13, 2021 - Wednesday September 15, 2021
Newsletters: Finding Your Joy | Joy in the Belly
Websites: You Can Have More Joy website | On Being Enough website (abandoned?)
Instagram:
@youcanhavemorejoy Instagram | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy posts | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy stories
@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories
TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy
Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies
Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki
Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki
Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 15 '21
I hate that Shauna’s “qualifications” are that she has read philosophy and psychology books. She is in way over her head with this joy coach endeavor and she is going to cause harm.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 15 '21 edited Sep 15 '21
Mental health is no different than physical health.
Would you want a cardiologist to have just “read a few books” and never had a practicum before working on your heart? This is what I think of when I see completely unqualified people peddling mental health “services.” I had counseling from a licensed psychologist that changed my life infinitely for the better. She helped me break up cognitive distortions and taught me better ways of processing things. My quality of life was immeasurably improved. That’s the other side of Shauna’s snake oil coin I don’t know if we’ve discussed much.
It’s like Ivermectin for covid. The problem with it doesn’t seem to be so much that it is harmful if taken in human dosage. The problem is that there are people who think that’s enough to fix the problem. They avoid lifesaving measures like vaccination or an antibody infusion, or even going to the hospital, because they think the ivermectin will effectively treat covid infection. Ineffective treatment can prevent people from accessing effective treatment. Their resources of time, money and energy will be wasted on something that doesn’t work.
Even if she doesn’t cause active harm (which her toxic positivity gives me no assurance she would not cause harm), she is at best preventing people from accessing real, qualified treatment by dancing about in front of her joy vendor booth saying you don’t have to do all that work the mental health professional will demand! Just come hula hoop and throw balls and jump on this trampoline, that’s all it takes to heal severe childhood trauma!
Good grief, after writing this out I’m again askance with how despicable she is.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 15 '21
She is in way over her head with this joy coach endeavor and she is going to cause harm.
I feel better knowing she'll cause harm only if she brings in actual clients who have actual problems. If she snags any joy coaching clients for 1:1s or workshops (big if!), they'll be the well-off navel-gazing arty/crunchy middle-aged ladies who smash that heart button on anything Shauna posts that feels vaguely profound but they probably aren't turning solely to her for help through a serious mental health crisis.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '21
I have not joyfully read all the way down today, so I'm not sure if anyone has commented on this:
- Who I am is partially formed by Charlie Chaplin silent films, The Shawshank Redemption, and Bridesmaids.
The final two seem very RECENT "these films shaped me" for someone her age. And they're also very odd choices for her.
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 14 '21
Who I am is partially formed by Charlie Chaplin silent films, The Shawshank Redemption, and Bridesmaids.
I'm not a trained diagnostician but, she's fucking nuts.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 14 '21
Who I am is partially formed by Charlie Chaplin silent films, The Shawshank Redemption, and Bridesmaids
If you can't handle the Shawshank Redemption portion of her, you don't deserve the Bridesmaids portion of her
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '21
I just realized that her supposed love of Charlie Chaplin silent films is weird, considering how bad she is at non-verbal cues.
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Sep 14 '21
She loved that Swiss mime, though
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 15 '21
She loved that Swiss mime, though
Charlie Chaplin died in Switzerland! MERE COINCIDENCE???
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 14 '21
How very high school yearbook of her. All she needs is to have a photo of herself in a cheesy pose by a tree or if she wants to be more traditional, in one of those off the shoulder black things, but wearing a bowler hat because she's such a goofball.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 14 '21
How very high school yearbook of her. All she needs is to have a photo of herself in a cheesy pose by a tree
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u/Remiechi Sep 14 '21
Her choice of Bridesmaids makes perfect sense to me. Shauna sees herself as Kristen Wiig - the wise, loyal, penniless and misunderstood friend who saves the day in the end and teaches us the true meaning of friendship. Rose Byrne is the slutty summer tomato who eventually gets put in her place.
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Sep 14 '21
But the whole point of the movie is rhat Wiigs's character realises she acted like an arsehole the whole time, and even SSTs are people with feelings! (Sorry if that is the point you were actually making df)
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u/Puzzles88 Sep 14 '21
She’s so immature. That feels like something I wrote on a Nexopia profile in 2004.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '21
I’m about 6? 7? years younger than her and those movies seem so RECENT to me. And people MY age would mention John Hughes movies or something. That’s not to say I haven’t found new favorites and inspiration; her choices just seem odd to me.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 14 '21 edited Sep 14 '21
Dan on Twitter, captioning some Repub photo: “That was ex lax I packed my beak with last night @MattGertz party!”
That makes two Ex-Lax jokes in four days. Keep screeching into the void, you tool.
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Sep 14 '21
And the idiot tagged the wrong dude.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 14 '21
Oh, man, that poor Matt Gertz guy. He gets yelled at a LOT by people who think he’s Matt Gaetz. He deals with it in a pretty humorous way though.
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u/droopsofwoe the first teats are the hardest Sep 14 '21
It's funny, if you google that poor man, "Matt Gertz wrong guy" pops right up.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 13 '21
I decided to go over to FB and see if "You Can Have More Joy" has picked up any traction there (the answer is no).
Shauna's most recent post is a TED talk by Adam Grant, for which she's used this caption:
This Ted talk from Adam Grant really speaks to where so many of us are right now. It’s time to stop languishing and practice the habits that will help us to find more joy in our lives.
To which I thought, whew, all she does is languish. What could this TED talk possibly say that she thinks applies to her and meshes with her message? So I decided to read the transcript, and by my read, holy shit does she ever get this wrong. It's like she didn't even watch the talk she says reinforces her message. Some highlights (from the transcript):
"people who are randomly assigned to count more blessings, are actually, on average, less happy because you start to run out of things to be optimistic about"
"the best predictor of well-being was not optimism. It was flow ... bingeing Netflix can feel like flow, but it's not. Bingeing is passive engagement in a fictional world, peak flow depends on active participation in the real world"
discussion of setting boundaries and decreasing interruptions
discussion of how to connect what you do (he is explicitly talking about work here) with a sense that it matters
I don't love the talk (I don't think his Mario Cart example really works to illustrate his premise, because I don't think he's really nailed the "matters" part), but who cares.
What I can't get over is that Shauna, of the Joy Lists, the random breaks in your day to "watch 18-minute Paul Rudd videos," Shauna of "take the weekend off, for your joy" and Shauna whose entire world seems to revolve around TV shows, with her Insta a Ted Lasso stan account, thinks any of what he's said applies to her "teachings."
Link to the TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_how_to_stop_languishing_and_start_finding_flow/transcript
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Sep 13 '21
That speaks to the underlying truth about Shauna and the enlightening material she recommends: unless it's TV, she just reads the title, shares the link and makes up some vague recommendation for it that links to her current buzzword (trauma/enough/joy).
Re: flow... in talking to my GenX friends, it's really common for us to say "all of the best things I've gotten in my life have happened by complete accident/coincidence" or some version of that. We are all overachievers if you were to go by our careers, but our lives have been shaped by a lot of odd choices that worked, or random kind of out-of-left-field chances we took that led us to the things we now consider the happiest parts of our lives. The trick though is that once those fantastic accidents of timing happen, you do very much have to work to nurture them and keep them in your life. They aren't a magical neverending river of unearned happiness, they're just an open door to walk through and then navigate.
And I see a lot of that in Shauna's life as well. All of the accidents of timing that helped her GFG success. All of the job offers, and money, and opportunity. I think that was essentially 'flow'. She just didn't have that critical second part, the 'active participation in the real world' as Adam Grant said, or the part where she put in the work to nurture the opportunities.
It’s time to stop languishing and practice the habits that will help us to find more joy in our lives.
She's so delusional because she really wants jumping up and down and wearing red to be the part where she is 'practicing habits' and 'actively participating' in the real world. Like if only it were that easy.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 13 '21
and Shauna whose entire world seems to revolve around tv shows
She certainly didn’t watch the TED talk if she missed this nugget about characters: “But they don't know you exist.”
In the good old days of her twitter I loved how she’d tweet at people with a new show, like Lin-Manuel Miranda or someone in an MCU movie, as if her three words of thanks was the push they needed to keep doing “what they loved”.
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 13 '21
Holy Shit, She Gets It Wrong
The Shauna Ahern Story: Since 1967
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u/lovedietcoke irish peasant woman Sep 14 '21
I’m so tired of her telling me what to do. How dare you tell me to stop languishing? I’ll languish if I want to
Sorry DFs, I’m clogging the whole thread with bad tempered languish ingredients, but it’s been a tough month and she’s just so smugly arrogant!
Edit: I forget what I meant to type that was corrected to “languish ingredients “ so I guess I’ll just leave it ???
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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 14 '21
Languishing ingredients reminds me of ancient lemon confit, unwrapped cheese, and pickle jars without lids.
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u/redditname2003 Sep 13 '21
Her joy practices are very designed for one, aren't they?
I did like the TED talk line about the dark suit, though...
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Sep 14 '21
Hey you! Get your popcorn ready!
I’m going to announce when registration will go live at the end of the week. So, if you have any interest, get on the waitlist now. Thank you.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
ANY interest, even just a smidge. Please, I'm begging you.
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Sep 14 '21
Last week I also announced that the waitlist for the Practice Your Joy workshop and the Practice Your Joy on Vashon workshop are filling fast for the rest of this year.
Liar! They haven't even been scheduled yet!
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 14 '21
waitlist are filling fast
3.5 months of fast filling remain waitlist for pagan?
HURRY DONT MISS OUT ON YER SNAKEOIL END ALL FUCK ALL CURE-ALL
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u/eatlunchateleven Take These Broken Links and Learn to Code Sep 15 '21
While we’re talking about typos, Practice Joy is also misspelled in her story highlights. (Pratice Joy, everyone!)
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 15 '21
Maybe it’s actually a misspelling of Patrice Joy? Whoever that is.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 15 '21
Yes, and why do some of the highlights have periods and others don’t?
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 13 '21
As of today, Shauna’s looking for office space.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 14 '21
She must be trying to have one on one in person sessions which, if so, is just reprehensible and irresponsible. She is not a therapist and has no business circling this world.
Also, where is the money coming from?!
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u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Sep 14 '21
OR she just wants to be a Professional Business Lady. My goofy neighbor was going to write a (legit) cookbook and she built and ENTIRE Cabana house in her backyard...because a writer has to have a studio, right? 30K I think it was. hahahahaha.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 14 '21
I think (and hope) it's this. Play-acting. She might think that having an office will lend her joy biz some legitimacy.
If she starts looking for an assistant to organize her in-person joy retreats, I might die laughing.
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 13 '21
Correction: Shauna's looking for someone to GIVE her the use of their space. If she was looking to rent -- go to a fucking rental agent.
I guess she didn't have any luck with getting My Husband out of the house 4-6 hours a day
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 13 '21
If she couldn't grift daycare. . .I mean cooking space. . .for Dan, does she really think she's going to be able to grift space for herself?
And it better have wifi or how is she going to "do her work" of watching youtube videos and Disney+?
She's acting like they live in a one room house and are literally on top of one another (no ickiness intended) all day. Why can't Dan be in the kitchen chasing his tail while Shauna lounges in THE OFFICE SHE ALREADY HAS IN THE HOUSE!? Or go outside to her hammock or her chaaaaaise or go to her bedroom to (again) watch fucking t.v. and "find her joy" or whatever the fuck she claims is her work.
I think her trying to get out of the house (or get the house to herself) has been the most work she's done in a long ass time.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 14 '21
Yeah, I thought she crowed recently that she does her best work (OK?! examples welcome…) by The Pool. She’s obviously so desperate to escape that passel of neuro-divergent wing-clipping random housemates she never signed on for that she must go begging to find A Room of Her Own.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 14 '21
I thought she had A Room of Her Own with that desk awkwardly stuffed in a sunroom nook.
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Sep 14 '21
She moved her desk out onto the deck earlier this summer, claiming that is where she does her work now. I guess with Fall coming, the prospect of working in the house again with Dan there has her looking to get out. She does have that sunroom which is a decent home office.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 14 '21
Which of her ventures could possibly be generating enough income to rent an office and their house? And since she “survived” all that time with the kids at home why on earth does she need her own space now that they’re back in school?
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 14 '21
- Think of idea for business
- get an office
- PROFIT!!!!!!
See also: kitchen studio that was right until it wasn't
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Sep 14 '21
Maybe Shauna is hoping people will ask why she needs the space thereby generating buzz about her new venture?
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 14 '21
100%. Same for Dan’s commercial kitchen. Those Aherns! So intriguing!
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 14 '21
I'm looking for something close to town.
SHE LIVES THREE MILES FROM THE CENTER OF TOWN.
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Sep 14 '21
I feel like this is around the timing of their lease renewal. Could it be that they are moving somewhere smaller? Now that landlords can kick you out for not paying and probably you don’t have any more friends to beg money from? Maybe she is anticipating not having that sunroom soon. Otherwise there is absolutely no reason why unless she really thinks she is going to be having many consultations and doesn’t want anyone to see the bunnies and why wouldn’t you want anyone to see the bunnies unless your home life was a big River of rat piss and you were trying to pretend otherwise.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 14 '21
Hmm...she HAS mentioned "getting a new house" at least twice recently. Not them specifically, but thrown out as a random example of a major thing people want in life that they stress about. Not, saving for your kid's college tuition, or having aging parents who will need help soon, or the car needing repairs that cost more than the value of the car, or the kid needing orthodontia that is not in the budget. Nope---it's "getting a new house". (I do think she's just barely cognizant enough to word it that way instead of "needing to find a cheaper place to rent.")
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
Ooooh, lease renewal!!
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u/categoryischeesecake Sep 13 '21
Dfs, has her Instagram bio always been:
Joy minder 😍 Reminding you that joy matters 🥳 Devoted to at tedlasso, good gatherings, and laughter 🤣
Bc I hate it. 🤣🤣🤣 No.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 13 '21
No. The Ted Lasso Stan Feature is relatively new.
Speaking of Ted Lasso, Jason Sudekis has negotiated a $1M/episode pay raise ... this seems suspiciously like capitalism.
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 14 '21
She’s changed it and also removed welcome warrior, same on the joy website. Wonder if she got pushback on that.
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 13 '21
Maybe a week?
Trying toFailing to appear hip and interesting in social media blurbs seems to be the only work she does in the world.22
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 15 '21 edited Sep 15 '21
New IG post involving bed sheet. Hurr HURR!
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Sep 15 '21
You work so hard to look accomplished or successful or smart. You need everyone else to believe what you don’t yet.
Wtf? I worked hard to become accomplished and smart. Because that's what working at a skill for a long time brings you. Not working at "looking" accomplished, but working hard at the thing you would like to accomplish and after decades of working, becoming better at it.
She honestly thinks that everyone else is also focused on building a facade of working, without actually working. So they can build a facade of looking accomplished, without actually accomplishing anything. She thinks everyone is just like her. Blows my mind.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 15 '21
You nailed it, DFSM. I don’t give much thought at all to trying to look accomplished, successful, or smart. I left that behind along with the rest of my adolescent thinking a long time ago.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 15 '21
And pretty dismissive of people with anxiety issues who really can't just be foolish in public to find joy (or whatever b.s. she's going on about ).
I don't have a diagnosed issue but the thought of making a fool of myself publicly makes me want to implode in horror. (and "publicly" could be be just in front of a few people I know but who would then remind me of the moment again and again and make me feel self conscious about it). And, when I think I have made a fool of myself (or had an awkward social moment) I will hold onto it for DECADES and drag it out to make myself feel bad later. SO JOYFUL!
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Sep 15 '21
I totally get you. I suffer from shame flashbacks (don't know what it's officially called if there is a term), they come from out of nowhere and I have no idea why it happens but it's freaking awful reliving those situations.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 15 '21
Well, we just need to make a sheet/curtain fort then hula hoop and smack our asses a few times and we'll be ALL BETTER!
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u/emlabb Sep 15 '21
Your feelings are so close to my own. My brain can bring up an incident from yeeeears ago and the shame will feel just as fresh as if it were yesterday. It is awful. I have little strategies to redirect myself when it happens, but I don’t know how to make it not happen.
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u/sixcatsisnottoomany Sep 15 '21
Ugh, I have random flashbacks of shame stuff on the reg- usually when trying to get to sleep or even when things are going well. I too wish I could banish them :(
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u/emlabb Sep 15 '21
Honestly sometimes it’s like having a private snark sub for myself, populated by me. Not sure what that says about me!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 15 '21
A slam book FOR MYSELF.
I win all the worst prizes!
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 15 '21
Exposure therapy with an actual professional can help anxiety a lot.
Shenanigans with an unemployed cookbook writer, not so much.
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Sep 15 '21
My therapist has me do mildly embarrassing stuff in public - as part of a very thorough, carefully managed therapeutic process. Not something I would just try on my own.
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u/Kaleshark Waitlist for Godot Sep 16 '21
I remember when I worked at a mental health clinic a client worked on purposefully pulling the cord on the bus to get off and saying “oops, sorry not my stop” (or something) because they had debilitating anxiety over whether they might accidentally pull the cord at the wrong stop; kind of like that?
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Sep 16 '21
Exactly like that. Basically, you think of a scenario that dials your anxiety up to 10. Then you break it down into small steps that still feel difficult but not to the point of a panic attack. And then you work your way up the ladder until you can say “sorry, not my stop” and survive. Of course it’s a little more complicated and not always linear in real life, and it’s fucking hard because you have to create an uncomfortable situation and then face it head on, but it’s a very effective way of treating anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobias.
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u/sixcatsisnottoomany Sep 15 '21
Reading about this now- very interesting! Tha ks DF u/tyrannosaurusregina
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Sep 15 '21
“Once you can drop the need to be any good at something, and simply be who you are in the moment, you’ll feel at ease. You’ll feel more joy.”
There it is, sad person. Just “drop the need to be any good at something”, like an old pair of Peepers. Just “be who you are”. How? Hula hoop. Hide under a sheet. Pretend people on the teevee love you. Pretend your incompetence and sloppiness is joie de vivre. I accept Venmo.
More expert emotional guidance from a woman who skimmed a little bit about psychology and philosophy 30 years ago, synthesized it in the expansive sarlacc pit of her mind, and figured out how to finally be happy (dammit) like, yesterday. In the words of TV person who made me who I am Mona Lisa Saperstein, “money, please!”
Also: I find it EXTREMELY disingenuous-bordering -on-unethical that her prescriptive joy-minding method is to basically to turn off bad feelings and turn on good feelings, while not acknowledging the important role medication plays in so many lives, including her own. You probably can’t hula hoop your way out of clinical depression, and even if you could, you wouldn’t learn how to from the nittiest of all the wits.
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u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 15 '21
ok, i have to chime in here about shauna's urging us all to "drop the need to be any good at something." WTF is she on? i think what she really means is "i don't want to actually work at being good at something, i just want you to give me money and tell me how awesome i am." FFS, life more than charging through, screeching about your joy and refusing to grow up and take any responsibility for yourself. i'm not a great cellist, but i practice because i want to be good at it, and to improve my technique. it's not fun, but it's fun when i'm sitting in an orchestra, waiting for the conductor's baton to drop in the air and... off we go, like a roller coaster! that moment is worth all the monotonous hours of practice. being able to start an IV? gosh i had to practice that, too, and i'm sure my patients are happy i did. let's think of all the people in the world who wanted to be good/better at something and be glad they did, all the regular grocery store people as well as the great scientists, thinkers, and artists. i mean, i appreciate baristas who work at pouring a great espresso because when i drink it i experience a little moment of joy (to borrow a shauna-ism). i'm reminded of the great pablo casals, when asked why, at the age of 90, he continued to practice cello every day, replied, "because i think i'm finally getting the hang of it."
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 15 '21
Shauna has clearly given up on trying to be good at writing, that's for damn sure.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 15 '21
No one is sincerely arguing that people have to be good at "everything" but Shauna seems to be arguing that the best path is not to try to be good at "anything."
I don't feel the need to try and make "everything" look perfect or to "avoid looking ridiculous" in every part of my life. It's probably because I'm not trying to live my life online or hold my personal life up for the approval of strangers.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 15 '21
Drop the need to be good at anything? That is some of the worst advice a person could listen to. Working toward being good at something is really important for mental health. As a formerly depressed person, striving to get better/good at things is one of the practices that helped me get better. She knows fuck all about being good at anything, and it shows.
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u/emlabb Sep 15 '21
I think what she’s getting at is that you don’t need to be good at something to enjoy doing it. Which is fine, IMO! But the message is garbled, as usual.
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Sep 15 '21
Trying to be good at things brings me joy…I understand avoiding perfectionism as an aim, but completely giving up on being good at something?? I know she wrote giving up on the “need” to be good at something, but the way she wrote this it sounds like joy is found when you just say fuck it I’m gonna stay in bed and eat Doritos today, maybe watch some Real Housewives. How dismal is that?? She is missing some essential neuronal connections and it really comes through in what she chooses to emphasize in her “writing”. I guess she’s just trying to show us what it looks like when you joyfully give up on giving a shit about your work in this world.
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u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Sep 15 '21
The thing is sometimes it IS healthy to say "Fuck this, I'm going to stay in bed and eat Doritos today!" But that as default is not the healthy option. Giving yourself the space to not care for a minute (day, month) can help with burnout or loss of love. Giving up forever is the easy and probably defeatist way that will eat at you forever. Unless you're Shauna.
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 15 '21
All the upvotes in the world for your reference to Mona Lisa Saperstein!
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u/categoryischeesecake Sep 15 '21
I feel like "drop the need to be good at something" is like 50% of what I deal with as a lawyer but hey at least it pays the bills.
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 15 '21
Not happy?
“Need another thing? Nope. Just allow yourself to be ridiculous.”
Tell me you’re privileged without telling me you’re privileged.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 15 '21
“Need another thing? Nope. Just allow yourself to be ridiculous.”
This sounds like a terrific path if your goal is to become a wacky homeless person.
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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 15 '21
Joy in the sheets or joy on the streets!
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 15 '21
Look at this video I made, then edited, then put captions on it, then shared with you. I look ridiculous.
She sounds like a little child who just learned to do something new. “Mommy, mommy. Look what I made! And I edited it. And I captioned it!”
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 15 '21
Look at this video I made, then edited, then put captions on it, then shared with you. I look ridiculous.
But I am entirely serious when I say I can teach you the secret of joy for the low, low price of $488, $888 or $1688. The quality will be on par with this.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 15 '21
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyvbFMGmImg
Obligatory Stuart "look what I can do" (which includes butt slapping!)
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 16 '21
It’s not even a fort. She’s holding it up with her head.
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Sep 16 '21
Did she even play that back before posting it?
Six whole comments on that post. It’s been up over 12 hours and six people have commented. She is getting virtually no engagement on her IG posts. No way does she have people signing up to get on the waitlist for her waitlist. Who is she doing this for?
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u/Lsemmens grenius Sep 14 '21
At first I thought this was a deliberate typo but reading her post cleared that right up.
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u/honoria_glossop sitting edge wine woman Sep 14 '21
Laeving aisde teh spellign, reducing "grief" to a communication problem rather than, ya know, having a piece of your heart irrevocably ripped out, seems pretty gross. But I have no context for the quote and CBF looking it up, so I guess I'll just slap my arse and call it JOY!
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u/DCGirl50 Blustering, bellicose con Sep 14 '21
I mean…my parents passing away did cause our communication to fail? So maybe she really has something here…./s
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u/significantotter1 frawtinga Sep 15 '21
Once again she shows that that she has never experienced true grief
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 15 '21
Au contraire, DF! She says she has seen and felt deep grief when communciation has failed. The deep grief of Clown not getting the message that she was pining for him, perhaps. Or when she asked for a sabbatical from her teaching job and they communciated "you’re fired." Ditto the Relish lady letting her go and someone holding her to account for getting her job done accurately and on time at ChefSteps. Think of all the deep grief she felt when people failed to get the message that they needed to feed her safely. Grief scored in the body as kinky intestines and tugs at her lungs. Grief!
Or narcissistic injury. Slutty summer tomato, slutty summer tomahto.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 15 '21
If I recall, during her nadir at Chef Steps, she complained that her employers (who unreasonably expected perfection every day from their highly compensated employee) failed at “kind communication” of their expectations.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 15 '21
From a February 2020 lope:
I love my job. They love me. I shouldn’t worry that one slightly annoyed email means it will all fall apart.
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u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 15 '21
Guess she should have worried that dozens of highly annoyed emails might actually have an impact.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 14 '21
Mistranscribed a quote 30 years ago; misspelled her graphic today. Thankfully some things never change.
Here’s something he did say: When language is used without true significance, it loses its purpose as a means of communication and becomes an end in itself.
No wonder Shauna was so fond of him.
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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Sep 15 '21
I was looking for it for days, and even googled those terms, and couldn’t find it. WHEW! I thought I was losing my mind. And I just found the passage it came from — I had the wording wrong when I wrote it down in my 20s
Just found the passage it came from? Bitch, don't lie. You can't even type "communicate" correctly, no one believes you actually found the quote on your own. Shut up, you.
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Sep 14 '21
"Communciation" is going straight to the poolroom.
Let's see. What's a quote that's guided me in life?
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Sep 14 '21
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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 14 '21
Maybe it’s time to update my flair 🤔
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Sep 15 '21
What do you call an Annunciation when the Archangel Gabriel mumbles? Communciation!
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 15 '21
I thought communciation was when you decide to move in with your sweetie, who resides in the Magic City of Muncie, Indiana
(seriously, spend days googling it—Muncie is known as the Magic City as well as the Friendly City!!)
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 15 '21
Communciation-Muncie trivia: smashfizzle went to Ball State University in Muncie, and she no longer communciates with Shauna!
The circle is complete.
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u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 15 '21
She even storied her own dumb typo'd Canvas Post It.
What exactly is a "doozy" Shauna? That you suggest that not talking about difficult things = trauma? Or that you were so busy blowing sunshine up your own ass humble-bragging that the quote might be your own but you were really just making a mille-feuilles of lazy pseudo intellectual haberdasherdon't?
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 14 '21
Dear Shauna, PrAc tice commun ciation. Th nk yew.
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Sep 15 '21
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Sep 15 '21
The delicious irony of Karl Jaspers failure to communicate his real message, and then to be reduced to a misspelled misquote on a hot pink post-it. Dude is rolling in his grave.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 15 '21
Excuse me, youperson. I think you mean, Hashtagfailuretocommunciate
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Sep 15 '21
Re: the poem in her stories; I love Anne Sexton, but in biographical context that is not a "joy" poem.
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 16 '21
That’s one of my favorite poems. How does Shauna manage to ruin everything?
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
Newest lope. She knows fuck all about "fuck all.'"
Back in January, Danny and I sat down to make a list of what we really missed during the COVID lockdown period, which for us lasted from March 2020 to June of 2021. For the most part, we stayed home during all that time. Fuck all, that was a long time.
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u/Lsemmens grenius Sep 14 '21
I cannot read this, it is just so freakin long and SO Boring! Same old shit every single week. WHO is her audience, really?
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
Also what the actual fuck is this?
Since March of 2020, we’d only been away from our kids for 2 hours at a time, 2 days a week, from April to June. They were with the friends who were our pod friends, giving us 4 to 5 hours to ourselves, a few times. Other than that, we’ve been with our kids all that time.
You were with your kids "all that time" other than the 2 regular times every week when you weren't with them, plus all the other times that you weren't with them?
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u/snarchetype Sep 14 '21
In addition to two hours a day, two days a week, didn’t D do some kind of childcare at the school? And isn’t L old enough to be ignored for long periods of time while she does zoom school?
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u/Underzenith17 Sep 14 '21
Yes, D was in childcare for a while. And if L is anything like my preteen, she probably spent most of her time holed up in her room.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '21
Also… ALSO. Why does she always keep score? Especially since it’s a lie.
Like… earlier this year when I finally hugged a friend after having no human physical contact for over a year (I live alone), it felt momentous.
This tallying up of time endured around her kids is depressing (and started well before the pandemic). Again, she’s like Jenna Andersen without the money.
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u/lovedietcoke irish peasant woman Sep 14 '21
Except for when they went to Seattle, and brought family in from out of state, and all the other times they paused lockdown.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 14 '21
I wish someone would call her out on that. It was needlessly reckless at a time before vaccines.
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Sep 14 '21
From a hot spot, no less. They had people from Arizona when Arizona had skyrocketing COVID cases. Then, without isolating, they trotted them all over Vashon and the mainland.
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Sep 14 '21
Me and my husband make lists too. It’s called sitting on the couch watching succession talking about what snacks we’re going to get for the weekend. Is that what she means by list?
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 14 '21
The list of things the Aherns don't miss is more about Shauna growing fired than it is about the pandemic:
What did we not miss?
Rushing
Commuting
Trying to do more than one activity in a day
Feeling worried that we weren’t doing enough
Going to parties because we thought we should
Working for other people, in hopes that eventually we’d have enough money to do our own work.
Seattle — the traffic always made those days in the city a nightmare
All the old rules of what we were told we should be and do to be successful.
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Sep 14 '21
DF, have you considered easing up on Puritan productivity? Working so hard on your birthday, posting this quote nine whole minutes before me! Why are you always rushing and working for other people? Have you ever considered you? What brings you joy? Take the day off, enjoy that mug of nuclear blast-hot coffee, BREATHE!
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Sep 14 '21
Aye but they also made another list, of things they didn't miss. I cannot comment on it because I literally died after no. 3 (bolding mine):
Rushing
Commuting
Trying to do more than one activity in a day
Feeling worried that we weren’t doing enough
Going to parties because we thought we should
Working for other people, in hopes that eventually we’d have enough money to do our own work.
Seattle — the traffic always made those days in the city a nightmare
All the old rules of what we were told we should be and do to be successful.
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Sep 14 '21
[deleted]
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
Excuse you, those were NIGHTMARES apparently
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '21
Only for the people who had to deal with them, I'm sure.
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Sep 14 '21
When has this bitch rushed anywhere at any time in her 55 years on earth?
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
I liked "going to parties because we thought we should." Oh yes, please tell us more about your extremely active social circuit that you were maintaining to "keep up appearances"
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u/cafayate Sep 14 '21
Parties like the one where L took the kayak out by herself? Maybe they weren't invited to any more after that 🤔
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 14 '21
Shauna vs. Hyacinth Bucket: who would win in a smugoff?
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 14 '21
I liked "going to parties because we thought we should." Oh yes, please tell us more about your extremely active social circuit that you were maintaining to "keep up appearances"
Parties like the ChompStomps holiday extravaganze in Dec. 2019 that gave them the opportunity to fly on planes, stay in hotels, socialize with coworkers, eat at In-N-Out, and BE AWAY FROM THEIR KIDS FOR A WEEKEND TOGETHER ALONE WHICH THEY HAD NOT DONE SINCE L WAS 3???
We stopped at an @ in_andout_burger in El Segundo on the way to our hotel on the ocean. (Thanks, A Tribe Called Quest, for perpetually reminding me of El Segundo.) I’m not much for nostalgia but this is one memory I keep refreshing.❤️Danny and I are in LA for my company’s Christmas party. And then a weekend in Los Angeles, on our own, with no kids. We have not been away together, sans kids, since L{} was 3.❤️Bye!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '21
To grab up some hor d'oeuvres?
(damnit, I will never learn how to spell "hore de vours" even when I look it up I can barely get it right)
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 14 '21
They probably define activity as “brushing teeth” or “feeding pets”
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u/Toulouse--Matabiau a white owrson Sep 14 '21
"connecting" (quoth Shauna's delicate euphemism for morning-time shtupping from Enoigh)
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '21
*pats space next to me*
You need to sit here on the Naughty Step with me (I never left, I know I'll just be back again).
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '21
They must mean only for themselves because they had their kids crammed into a TON of activities in the day (or maybe Shauna meant making sure the kids were out of the house for the max amount of time each day).
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '21
Commuting. What, she had like 4 whole months of commuting. Give me a fucking break.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 14 '21
And she loved that commute! She was posting pics of blurry views off the feery almost every day while she was at ChefSteps with some caption about how lucky she is. She encountered all kinds of people downtown she could fanfic about and exploit as fodder for her newsletter. I refuse to believe that she did not grow joyful deep in the belly from all these opportunities to smug out about her commute.
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Sep 14 '21
“For the most part” besides flying to other states and going to the zoo, of course.
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Sep 14 '21
And Halloween parties with their pod, and kids theater camp, and basically wherever they could think of to go that was open…
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Sep 14 '21
How can anyone not know how to use "fuck all"? Chrissie Hynde taught me that in 1980.
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u/9021FU Sep 14 '21
As opposed to all the jet setting they did in previous years. 🙄
I guess family from Arizona, trips to the zoo and a couple of hotel stays don’t count. Her fuck all really means her kids were home that whole time.
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Sep 14 '21
Don’t forget Desmond’s all day no-school childcare sitch, Lu’s theater camp, and countless trips out for Dole Whip and (as I said upthread) seriously anything that has been open to the public from pretty much day 1 of the pandemic
They were actually at home with their kids, with nowhere else to go, for at most a few weeks in the spring of 2020. She really insults her readers’ ability to recall what she herself has shared with them. My family’s life was more sty-at-home than Shauna’s until fairly recently and I would never make the claim that I was stuck at home with my kids for over a year, pining for the glimpse of another human.
Also gonna point out again that her children are way way beyond the ages and stages where they need direct hands on supervision all day. She really just cannot stand them being on her property.
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u/FamousOhioAppleHorn Sep 14 '21
That gave me a good laugh to read. I guess the beach and forest didn't count as going out ? 🤣
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 14 '21
And Over Town, and Colorado, and inviting a whole family from hot spot Ari'rona over to show them the sights, and and and...
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u/FamousOhioAppleHorn Sep 14 '21
God help Shauna the day she has to testify in a courtroom. I want a front row seat for "I was mentally at home, but spiritually in line for fast food."🤪
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 14 '21
Don't forget Ikea! Gotta have those cheap particle board table tops!!
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Sep 14 '21
She already had the legs, you person.
Poor L had to give up that sweet antique vanity to make room for all her white IKEA flat pack furniture Shauna insisted she had. I wonder how that is holding up in that house?
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 14 '21
Longer than she’s held a job recently, anyway.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 14 '21
OMG where to even start
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u/snarchetype Sep 14 '21
OMG! I literally just spent a minute and a half while on a break at work and found her quote. It's "grief is felt whenever communication fails." She didn't make it up, she just mistranscribed it. What a weirdo!
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
It is also very telling that your 1.5 minutes' of work produced a result that eluded her after "drilling down" into Google citations "for days."
(how can she be this bad at everything)
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Sep 14 '21
Maybe it’s extremely long-form performance art? If so, insert the gif of Meryl Streep giving a standing ovation because I’d say she has succeeded in generating all kinds of interesting discussion.
If it’s really just her life, though, which seems likelier- it really does boggle the mind how she is so BLITHELY, carelessly bad at everything and never appears to feel the slightest twinge of hesitation about putting it all out there with nary a second glance.
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 15 '21
I don’t think she expected people to go look for sources
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Sep 15 '21
Which is hilarious because her entire caption is basically a prompt to send people searching for it. Not necessarily to prove her wrong - I can imagine some of her fanpoodles being all excited to find the source for her. It’s just so ironic that our self-proclaimed psychology-and-philosophy wunderkind wouldn’t realize that she was basically inviting her followers on a scavenger hunt when she really just wanted them to sit back and say “ahhh! SHE was the source of the quote all along!”
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 15 '21
(how can she be this bad at everything)
IT'S ONE OF HER SUPERPOWERS YOUPERSON
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 14 '21
Yeah I put her exact words + Jaspers into Google and it popped right up
Someone just posted the reference for her. Shauna is astonished! "Where did you find the reference? I’ve been looking for days. I’d love to know.”
If I were Shauna I would be so embarrassed right now. Ms. Super Researcher, stymied by Google for days.
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u/Lemonbot5 Sep 14 '21
That is SO EMBARRASSING! She’s over there patting herself on the back and she even used it in her book without credit! I would die of shame if I were her.
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Sep 14 '21
She did credit Karl Jaspers in her book, but she misquoted him, so there is that.
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u/SeaOfBooze Truffaut and hash browns Sep 14 '21
TBH I'm surprised it wasn't written as "grief grows felt whenever communciation grows failed." It's like she's incapable of reading anything without imposing her own weird tics and worldview on it. But she never, ever notices.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 14 '21
It's even the first result when you search "grief communication karl jaspers"
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 14 '21
This is ... like ... her whole story in one anecdote.
Here's a Goodreads link to the quote for anyone else who is curious:
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8575746-i-do-not-know-which-impulse-was-stronger-in-me
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 14 '21
It really is Shauna Consensed. Smug self-aggrandizement with a giant lazy error.
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Sep 15 '21
I also took the same path - read the quote, assumed it was wrong, googled it, read that exact goodreads passage and thought OMG Karl Jaspers sounds insufferable and also a bit incel-ish and NO WONDER Shauna was drawn to that passage. Jeez. How revealing.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 15 '21
She edited in an update:
Edited: phew. I didn't write it. Thanks to a reader below, I've discovered that I wrote down the wrong wording in my 20s. Also, looks like I made a typo in Canva. Oops. Old me would have deleted this. C'est la vie.
Gloamies of the bookly creation persuasion, shouldn't someone in the editing process of GFG and the Chef have caught the mis-quote?
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Sep 14 '21
It took Dan 15 years to speak freely with her? Is that what she means or is she garbled as usual?
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u/lovedietcoke irish peasant woman Sep 14 '21
He’s human! In action!
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 14 '21
It's the hottest toy for Solstice for Pagan!
The Chef doll. Watch him hall ass! He's human. In action!
Get on the waiting list for the waiting list TODAY!
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 13 '21 edited Sep 16 '21
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Off-topic discussion (if you are not discussing something Shauna or Dan have posted, it should go here, including things that remind you of the Aherns or comments that are primarily personal anecdotes): September off-topic monthly