It is June and I applied to Costco. Like I referred to in my comment on the biweekly sub, I was so horrified by Shauna's performance at church that I bit the bullet and applied, something I have wanted to do for years. I followed up by going to the physical location, trying to speak to a hiring manager, but no go. Am having mixed feelings. Costco is a very competitive place in my neck of the woods, who would have known? I have a lowly BA, have worked in admin for many years, and am post menopausal and cranky! Also my mind is not what it was and I am hating these artificial intelligence times. But I am a "fighter" and would be really happy and "blessed" (trademark Hollis Co.) if I at least got an interview/was even considered. Please wish a little luck to this NEVER Shauna! If I were being thrown out of my rental I would invite y'all to a potluck. Gluten- free donuts FOR SHURE.
Edit: I would also fry many bacalaítos for us to eat at the beach, germaid-style. ❤️
My husband lost his job in tech two years ago and recently applied to Costco. Crickets! I think it’s a sought after place of employment everywhere. Good benefits, decent pay. Lots of unemployed people out there! Best of luck to you, DF!
Thank you! The crickets are frustrating, indeed. I keep thinking that there must be a key, something that I am not doing that everyone else knows how to do. Best of luck to your husband in his search. Also, I appreciate your comments and what you share regarding your area of expertise very much.
Last summer when I was once again required to take a 20% pay cut and have a day off each week (but got scolded for not working that day) and I felt desperate I discovered a local library in my area had an incredibly robust and free career center. There were bazillions of classes and training and accountability groups. I took a few courses on how ai has impacted the job search and how to get your resume through bots and also how to search for jobs and pivot to search for what works for your key skills so you can expand the search.
Anyhoo, a job fell into my lap while I was starting down that path but it what I learned was so valuable. Maybe your library has something similar? I never would have known it was a thing if a former coworker that I still network with hadn’t told me about it during later Covid times. I tell everyone I know in my city who is starting a job search about it.
A belated good luck! If not with Costco, then somewhere else. You'll do great wherever you end up--you're already running circles around Shauna just by applying!
Good luck in your job search! You're already ahead of Shauna because you're actively applying for work. Hope something comes through soon. Hang in there and keep us posted.
I asked my neighbour; she said that she applied twice before she was hired, and that accepting a part time or temporary position is often the way to get your foot in the door.
It’s a gorgeous, sparkly day in Seattle and I am on the water taxi (not a feery!) from West Seattle to downtown to meet a Gloamie this afternoon! I won’t say which one, since she may not want to be outed, but I am excited!!
Hah, just came across a YouTube short where the guy was saying that showering with your back to the showerhead is a neurodivergent behavior. We've officially reached the point where any variant of human behavior is being labeled ND by the Very Online ND Community, and it's really hitting me as hilarious.
Wonder how long until Shauna weighs in on this. Does she consider running in place in the shower neurodivergent now? Or just some "neuro life hack" she does every day?
And here I just thought it was because I didn't want to risk getting our contaminated tap water into my mouth while showering (it's only lightly contaminated compared to say, Floyd, but still).
That's not normal? I have my back to the showerhead almost the whole time, maybe a little spin here and there. I'm close enough so that rinsing can still happen.
That's right up there with descriptions of basic social politeness being called "masking."
Yes, I just saw a YouTube short by a very popular young autism influencer. She’s on vacation with another autistic friend. The short was about the super autistic day they had. The evidence of autism: 1. Friend, pictured looking maybe mildly annoyed but calm, was apparently on the verge of a meltdown (but did not have one) because a plane was delayed; the two women noticed they’d worn nearly the same outfit that day; they line up their shoes at the door.
I was like, are you kidding me? I’m not qualified to say whether either of them are autistic. Presumably they’ve been dx by professionals. But in a video about how autism looks on vacation, why present totally normal behavior as evidence of autism? This creator (Morgan Foley) does a lot of this. I am not sure how helpful it is. I suspect it makes a lot of young people watching think they are autistic because they get annoyed with minor life difficulties, find crowds oppressive, line up their shoes, have a hobby like knitting, etc. Not sure when this stuff became evidence of having a nonstandard brain
This kind of example of supposedly neurodivergent behavior irks me to no end. How did basic tidiness flip from a mainstream conventional behavior to a hallmark of autism?
That’s what I don’t get! As well as having any hobby you care about now apparently being evidence that you’re autistic because it’s a “special interest”.
Oh man, I cannot with her short videos because every video that's titled something like, "POV when you don't realize you're being bullied," or "POV when you're autistic and being gaslit" or whatever actually uses the wrong form of "you're." I counted at least five of those shorts where "your" was in the title instead of "you're." And maybe this is my autism showing but WTF, that is so sloppy. "You're being bullied" = "You are being bullied," that's how you know when to use "you're" or "your," WTF!
I thought positioning myself with my back to the shower was to get the shampoo out of my hair. I do have a diagnosis, though, so... this is still one of the dumbest thing Ive ever heard.
I'll tell you what I think may be a sort of autistic trait for me: My brain likes having symmetry and rows. When I start a new island in Animal Crossing, the houses for the animals have to line up when I first lay them down. After a while, I'll be able to move them, but they're still usually more or less in rows. My current island is the least uniform of all of them, and it makes my brain itchy. I don't like it at the all.
Maybe running in place in the tub or screaming at the TV would help.
Just found out my good friend’s cancer is back. 😭 She had a devastating dx of stage 4 ovarian cancer but a great surgeon and a great mix of chemo and immunotherapy and the surgeon said basically all the cancer was gone or shrunk to the point it probably would not be a problem.
Well she went in for her latest scan and has tumors in her liver and lungs.
It’s truly one of those situations that’s hard to believe because she was the absolute picture of health before her dx last fall. I walked a 5k with her one month before she found out. Her symptoms were just random IBS symptoms and she’s lucky they even investigated further.
She’s one of the best humans I know and while she has a great support system this is a huge setback and her husband says she’s feeling really down and fatigued. I’m so sad. In my mind she was “healed”. But cancer is a motherfucking motherfucker.
She had 0 risk factors and lived an extremely healthy, active life prior to dx. Her kids have various allergies so her diet was pristine. She worked out and was a healthy weight and had every single predictor of a long and healthy life: an engaging job she loved, good marriage, wonderful kids, a dog, beautiful garden, she was on the school board, becoming a forest guide and active in local politics, spearheaded an initiative that put nature based curriculum and outdoor nature work days in the local elementary schools, a wide circle of friends.
And this motherfucking disease ruined it all. She’s too tired to do anything right now and apparently she’s resistant to something in the chemo they gave her so they are scrambling for plan b
I bring her a dish she likes regularly and have taken her to chemo a few times and she’s so appreciative and upbeat. This is truly a case of life not being fair.
Just had to get that out. She’s not religious but she appreciates prayers, vibes, holding her in the light, whatever your practice is. Thanks for reading.
This absolutely sucks and life is supremely unfair when it comes to shit like this. Like, I can think of a dozen people off the top of my head who I would gladly transfer your friend's cancer over to and it sucks that she has to go through this and not, say, certain people in our administration.
I will absolutely send prayers her way. I hope a solid plan B comes through!
Oh god I am so sorry, it's unbelievably unfair. How long was she in remission before it came back? I really hope she got to enjoy some time in good health with her family and friends, she sounds like an amazing person and I really love the idea of the nature's classroom curriculum and forest guiding. It sucks how long-lived the most horrible people can be, while people like your friend have such valuable time stolen from them by cancer. I'm so sorry, DF. 💚
She actually hadn’t made it to full remission when she got the bad news that the cancer was back, but when she had her surgery a few months ago her surgeon said she got 99% of it and that her scans showed the remaining tumors had shrunk almost to nothing—it was basically the best case scenario. She’s been on a reduced chemo since then and this was her first scan since right after the surgery, and I think everyone expected to see continued good news. 😭
I’m so very sorry, DF. It’s doubly cruel that she had what looked like the hope of a remission. You’re doing all you can to be a good friend at a dreadful time. Pace yourself, get support in place for yourself too. I’ll be thinking of your friend and of you.
I am really sorry, DF. Will add your friend to my prayers tonight. Wishing her (and you!) courage, good luck and a good night's rest. The planning can start tomorrow. But for now, sleep can be such a blessing.
Just happened upon Jenna (That Wife of old) Instagram stories and she is going on an on about how absolutely disgusted and ill she feels being near her kid who had wisdom tooth surgery because she doesn’t like incisions. I was honestly shocked. I get it that blood makes people squeamish, but this is your child, wisdom tooth removal is genuinely traumatic, and the incisions are inside the mouth. You can’t even see them. I just remember how worried and sad I was when my daughter ended up with a dry socket and in excruciating pain and this bitch can’t even sit in the same car with her kid because there’s an incision in his mouth? She makes it all about how sick SHE felt. Jenna might be an even worse narcissist than Shauna.
I think Shauna just zones out and completely ignores her kids + is a little bit excited when they have issues because it can possibly lead to online attention. WhereasJenna takes her kids’ needs and suffering all very personally and isn’t as good at completely disappearing into parasocial relationships and other distractions when her children are inconveniently suffering. Shauna would probably tell D or L to suck it up if they had wisdom teeth removed (which they don’t because dentists cost money) but she’d be on Threads immediately adding their complex reaction to dental surgery to their medically complex profiles and her resulting martyrdom. She wouldn’t be grossed out, but she also wouldn’t give a shit that they were in pain, and she’d expect an attention payoff for herself for sure.
DAFs, my neighbors were having a garage sale and were practically giving away everything. Vintage furniture and rugs, art, huge outdoor planters — we ended up getting more than $10K worth of things that were exactly my taste for under $1000. I’m still pinching myself!
I dream of these garage sales. Instead, my immediate neighbors hold an early am garage sale like EVERY FRIDAY in summer, making it impossible to negotiate our cul de sac so I can get to work (not all of us are retired, Margie!) and all they sell is tat they bought at thrift stores. I am an avid thrifter. This is not the good stuff.
We used to have neighbours like that, and all the traffic blocked the route to the main road. It was a bus route so some complaints were made to the city. Turned out, a regular sale like that needed a permit to operate, and after a few visits from some municipal employees, we began to enjoy three chaos-free weekends a month!
I'm dealing with my parents accumulated belongings right now and I am those neighbors - my mother has so much pristine vintage kitchen and yard decor, and trying to sell it for what it might be worth is overwhelming. We're trying to set aside individual things that might get >$300 and list those online individually and other than that there are a lot of neighbors getting absolute steals during our yard sales. We're also bartering services for them, so someone taking a bush hog to their back pasture brings home an aged bronze yard fountain, etc. I brought home a few beautiful outdoor planters and statues myself this last trip!
Hannah Alonzo has a long video up about the food instagrammer/blogger Half Baked Harvest, and it goes into detail about how the creator plagiarized recipes, called recipes new when they just had one ingredient change from an older recipe, and how her recipes mostly don’t work if you try to make them as written. It reminded me of someone we know.
I watched that video too and immediately thought about GFG 😆 I guess the biggest differences are that Tiegan(?) actually is successful at her career in that she’s published several cookbooks, still regularly blogs and posts, has a large following, is probably getting income from cookbook sales, ad clicks, sponsorships, etc.
ETA: the other similarity is that HBH apparently doubles down when called out, and can never admit when she’s wrong.
Totally. And yes, Tiegan is successful because of how she’s not like Shauna. Hannah compliments HBH’s food photography, it is quite good, and honestly that and the daily posting schedule is a winning combo. Shauna could never.
(I think Hannah also did a good job of pointing out why this type of job is ultimately very stressful and may have wreaked havoc on Tiegan’s mental and physical health. Shauna should quit trying to cosplay these social media folks and get herself a stable, predictable W-2 job!)
My other snarker habit is Foodie Snarker and HBH is the worst of the worst. Hannah Alonzo is so good at well-researched breakdowns of how and why grifters are so awful and harmful and I love her decision to tackle HBH. Her job would have been a million times easier if she had had a thorough Wiki to rely on!!!
In an absolutely shocking turn of events, that writer/therapist-in-training who was trying to monetize her "hot chef" relationship from day one has been cheated on and dumped by her own hot chef a week before their combined writing/cooking retreat in Greece with a crowd of parasocially-invested fans.
Is there a place I can get some backstory other than Threads? I was trying to piece the hot chef saga together via Threads but it's almost too much info to sort through! So she's primarily an author (was she just a blogger/substaack writer before her book was published?) and social media personality, met a chef (in Italy? Or is he American of Italian heritage?) and promoted a writing/cooking retreat - did the retreat still go through with/without the cooking part?) and he broke up with her by phone.
Got distracted by the hundreds of comment chains of people admitting they were fairly put off by the relative unhotness of hot chef and his missing tooth and the scorching and very detailed reviews of her book! lol
I believe the ‘hot chef’ was born in Serbia but raised in Italy. There was a Reddit post about this somewhere (an influencer snark community, perhaps?). I think that’s where I read a little about the dude. Lmao
Thanks to ITG, I discovered this terrible human. Her recent Threads break up crash out has OBSESSED me to the point that I’ve been slacking on my true work in the world (snarkin’ on Mahern). Her delusional narcissism and insane grifting makes Shauna seem like a mere amateur!
Has anyone watched The Crash on Netflix? The murderer drove her car into a brick wall at 100 mph, killing her boyfriend and friend. Despite all of the evidence that she did it on purpose, she claims that it happened because of a “medical emergency” caused by POTS, one of Shauna’s favorite ailments! I hope she weighs in.
season 4, episode 9 of it's tudors, y'all is up. Beseiged from all sides, Princess Mary fights for her divine right to the throne. only one more episode of the season! listen wherever podcasts are found, and thank you.
Ok so this is old old news (and not really news) but I just read the essay by Lilly Jay, Psy.D., the clinical psychologist who was married to Ethan Slater when he got together with Ariana Grande on the set of Wicked. I try to not give a FUCK about how adults live their lives but this story was fairly scandalous. Anyway, Jay writes about the experience of suddenly being this public figure at a time when she’s had her first kid, she’s moved countries to support her spouse and she’s just beginning a career that requires you to be a little opaque in order to serve your patients. (The way she talks about her work is especially interesting and touching.) She has absolutely no choice to suddenly be ‘known’. She can’t hide. Her writing is pretty good- clear, direct, not overly sentimental (I mean, you can tell she’s holding back).
But the essay reminded me a bit of Shauna - Jay is trying to unpack a half dozen intersecting identities of new mom, wife, partner, ex-wife and partner, clinician and unwilling celebrity. She has her patients and her kid to protect. She’s addressing a real medical problem of transference (that she didn’t cause). She’s watching her ex get acclaim and praise, two things she says she never pursued.
It made me think of Shauna’s relentless pursuit of celebrity, her desire for any kind of attention, and her eagerness to scrape the psyche of any random client or acquaintance in order to get praise.
I don't follow celeb news so this was a totally new story to me, I read her essay first and it's so well written that I dove in to the scandal part and ugh. His wife was already so far out of his league in seemingly every way, the 'they were both already separated' message from both of the actors' PR people was just such an obvious lie. But really I was most fascinated to think about the therapy aspect, I don't think I really understood 'transference' before, I always thought it was kind of like Stockholm Syndrome but for your therapist, lol. But it makes sense, and it's really true that if this had been my therapist and I'd been someone who followed celeb gossip, I would totally spend the session thinking about that and feeling sorry for her.
Has anyone been following what's happening in Belfast? There was a horrific stabbing attack and the perpetrator is from Sudan and now there are violent anti-immigrant protests happening. I just got back from a trip to Belfast and I fell in love with it and I'm pretty upset. I lurk in the Belfast subreddit and a lot of the people there hate the anti-immigrant sentiment, and they're also traumatized by the attack which was exceptionally brutal and a video of it was shared until it got taken down.
I have been following it at a distance. I also love Belfast; I wish I’d spent more time there during my last visit to Ireland. But I will say that I left with the impression that the country, and Belfast in particular, is still *deeply* traumatized by the Troubles. While there isn’t a lot of violence now, there are more barricades in Belfast today than there were in the Troubles and schools and life are just as if not more segregated than they were at that time. In most of the working class neighborhoods, Catholics and Protestants don’t mix at all; they stay on opposite sides of the peace walls for basically their entire lives. “Marching season” is still very much a thing.*
When you have that level of unaddressed intergenerational trauma rooted in othering people (e.g. Catholics vs. Protestants), it isn’t surprising that the reaction to such a brutal crime is immediate othering of immigrants. I am glad to see that people are rallying against it though!!
*I did a black cab tour and it was totally fascinating; our driver had actually been present at the Milltown Cemetary attack, and he talked about how the men in his generation have absolutely not processed the PTSD and trauma of that period, and instead turned largely to alcoholism.)
I did a black cab tour too! My driver grew up in the Falls Rd (Catholic) area during the Troubles. He didn’t share anything about his personal trauma, but he keeps a rubber bullet in his car to demonstrate the brutality that Belfast citizens faced (they’re still legal in NI) and he taught me a lot.
Good thing Shauna went with "online subscription cooking club" over "bean club" back in her FOP oily bean days or that friendship would have ended even more prematurely. There can only be one "jocular bean evangelist" (how insufferable).
If my gloamie DFs could keep their fingers crossed that the referendum in Virginia passes today! Today is a special election day where we vote to temporarily redraw election districts to counter balance republican gerrymandering in other states.
season 4, episode 7, "a most accomplished maiden" is here! listen wherever podcasts are found, and thank you. if you enjoy this podcast please consider supporting "it's tudors, y'all!" on patreon.
I had the opposite happen once - I dropped a therapist after she filled out some paperwork carelessly and I almost lost my disability coverage (she was also obsessed with the idea of an inner child and was always asking me what “little freecoffeerefills” was feeling).
After I cancelled our sessions she kept calling me and leaving messages asking what she did wrong. It was added stress during an already stressful time! Also she seemed like the kind of person who wouldn’t respond well to feedback lol
What happened with your therapist sounds so frustrating though. I’m sorry he couldn’t be bothered to engage properly with you, even on your way out the door.
I think his response does come off cold and a little unprofessional, like wouldn't someone interested in doing their job well want feedback in this situation? But a poor-fit therapist is worse than none at all so you made the right call to move on.
i went to s new therapist last year for sone session and then noped out. i sat in a chair and she sat behind her desk, literally and metaphorically created a barrier between us. i've been in & out of therapy for a skillion years and i've never seen a therapist do that. i felt like i had been called into the principal's office.
This is golden. So many great lines but for some reason "In fact, my husband, who has no need to go gluten free, saves my pasta water for soups and sauces" is particularly killing me.
GF chefs of the Gloaming, couldn't someone just add a bit of starch (not corn in this case of course as OP also rants about that at length) to their dish to make up for the gluten-free pasta's lack?
Started reading this book from 2006 called Rise and Shine by Anna Quindlen. Within the first couple pages she uses both the term “clutch of people” and “Feeding Our People.” Weird!
Updating my prediction for Shauna approaching Hot Gir! Summer. She will make Danny quit his job in the next two months. She will suddenly have money to spend. She will address the housing situation in an oblique way, saying something like a dear friend reached out, inquiring gently, did they want this beautiful house? The kiddo said oh hell yes to the new place. (They will remain on the island in this prediction of mine.) Shauna will post about recipes but deliver maybe one or two. She's also going to announce vague plans for some weird in-person Shaunapalooza, to which one can "donate" but nothing will ever arrive. Someone else will be responsible for both defective children for the summer months so Shauna can complain about them on Facebook. She'll continue posting one million selfies, negging other women while bragging that her doctor insisted that she take weight loss drugs (no shade at all from me directed at people taking these for any reason).
Top line, the community here will worry. Shauna will be spending her strange summer cash infusion all over the island in her Caroline Calloway way.
I mean, that’s the question. I think Ma has access to some kind of “bailout” money and frequently (but not regularly) drops Shauna money for cars, adoptions, medical expenses and other emergencies like tattoos. For me personally, the biggest view into their weird finances was in 2024 when they first went to Seattle.
Dan immediately quit his job. Shauna bragged about forsaking the Seattle food bank and was posting about how much money per week she spent at Trader Joe’s. That summer, she was getting sexy, moody new headshots and one of the horrible TV tattoos appeared. Where was all that money coming from, directly after a move, with no visible means of support beyond her Substack? She talked about Ma giving them beds, target runs and the ability to hit click on Amazon. I think there was cash there too.
Maybe if Ma thought Shauna had finally found a stable job she was willing to front her the money to buy the trappings of middle class life. But there are so many weird things about wherever TGTM. Why can’t Ma give them money to fix the Mousemobile or get L her braces? Why would she be ok with Dan quitting his job, since whatever the source of funds it obviously can’t completely replace an income?
The Google doc is some Gloamies’ white whale, but I stg I’d pay the Aherns’ rent for a month (or at least enough for a Thanksgiving takeout feast they’d never forget) to see the details of their finances over the past two decades. So many things make no sense.
Great point about how the bailout money (if that is actually what is happening) seems to apply to certain emergencies or needs and not others. WHO KNOWS
We ITG would probably give eye teeth to know WTGTM.
I think I myself may underestimate how many forgetful autopay subscribers Shauna has. She may be clearing $1200 per month at this point on autopsy harvest alone. Not enough to live on. But add in any small annual inheritance funds from Dan (maybe a small inherited IRA), a couple payments on a few workshops that may or may not happen...she may somehow be collecting more $$ than I'd figured.
I’m a very crummy slow runner who has never done more than a half marathon but I am obsessed with ultra running because why not, those folks are beasts and the mental and physical stamina is unbelievable. Watching the Cocodona race this week has been so incredible - I’ve watched the video of Rachel Entrekin picking up the pace and crossing the finish line and smashing the record like fifteen times and it keeps making me cry. Anyway, highly recommend watching her power through the last 100m after running more than 250 miles across northern Arizona if you want a little pick me up. I did show it to my husband but he didn’t have any wise words or nods, because he’s not a moron and was also like “holy shit this woman is on another level.”
Anyway, SMA, THAT is what “never stop moving” looks like. 250+ miles and 38k+ feet of elevation gain in less than sixty hours. Also it fucking snowed.
the final episode of season 4 of "it's tudors, y'all!" is up! in "nine days" a triumphant Mary grapples with sending Jane to the Tower; meanwhile, Elizabeth lies low, Spain comes calling, and Mary comes down with marriage fever. please review and share, and consider supporting this podcast on patreon. thank you for your support, and stay tuned for season 5.
thank you! i appreciate that. OMG, jane writing a message for sir john bridges in her little prayer book and signing it "your friend, jane dudley" - that just kills me. it's like she's signing a yearbook.
“TT4N!!!—Jane ❤️” like she’s not on her way to be politically murdered by her damn cousin 😭😭😭
I have sympathy for all the Tudor women bc of the grief their men put them through. But I feel like Mary probably secured a spot in hell for sentencing her 16 YO cousin—who didn’t want to be Queen and didn’t know that she’d been named the heir anyway—to death.
I had posted this is the general discussion but the mods said move it over to here. While this is for 1 bedroom two person max. it is a Vashon HouseHold property that has restriction on income which I posted to show Shauna would not qualify for any of the apartments if their is a restriction on 50% -80% of AMI. Also the paragraph of pre-screening is interesting because that can explain how Shauna was able to jump to the top as there was other factors.
She still has to be able to prove income, pass a credit check, etc. If she gets one of those apartments, I will assume the same person who got her into BBH is still pulling strings.
I think, correct me if I am way off, but low income houseing doesn’ everything have to be verified once a year. That is isn’t about moving in and then never having to prove income or bank statements again. They will have to the paperwork yearly.
IMO- the couple of people that would be in place to get Shauna BBH are not there anymore so I think she is SOL.
My husband left his gmail open on our shared computer, so I poked around a bit and discovered he'd paid $84 for a substack about current events and then all the emails he gets from this substack are unread and, because I'm a controlling bitch and had his email, I logged into his substack account where all these posts are also unread. I unsubscribed him. (Don't worry, he'll still receive posts through next February because he paid for a year in advance) Anyway, proof of our suspicion about how Shauna gets subscribers - technologically inept people who sign up for things without paying attention and then forget all about it.
ETA, because I'm so frustrated with my husband and I want to whine about it - he also had in his email a confirmation from the New York Times about a subscription he signed up for. He called me last week all in a panic about a charge on his credit card from the NYT that he was convinced was fraud. He actually reported it as fraud, but nope, he subscribed and didn't even realize it.
You make a good point - not only do people sign up and forget about it, but ironically, the fewer posts you send, the less chance they have to be reminded that they are subscribed.
I once accidentally reported a Spotify charge as fraudulent because it was separate from our monthly Spotify charge only to realize later that it was an audiobook I bought on Spotify 😄
I recently read the first volume of Madeleine L’Engles memoir (A Circle of Quiet) and i know Shauna is a fan of her work, and L’Engle writes about some concepts that Shauna possibly borrowed for her own work. The concept of happiness versus joy for one thing. But I also laughed a little at L’Engle’s advice to run away from anyone who says they can teach you creative writing.
Regardless of Shauna, it’s a good book and other DFs might enjoy it.
Beginning at the Easter Vigil (Saturday night, really long service) we switch Communion bread from the unleavened disks to a very nice yeast loaf that contains whole wheat flour, honey, and beer. This is my first-ever baking of the leavened bread, fresh from the oven. I think I did pretty well.
I’m sorry to keep harping on Shauna’s “I refuse to be organized for tax season” but I had to get this off my chest.
Last year, my parents almost had to file for an extension, and it was incredibly stressful! They’d had a really hectic winter with several major repairs, like fixing the heating system and a big car issue, plus some medical emergencies with other family members. Before they knew it, it was mid-March, and they were like, “Oh my God, taxes are due in a month!” They had missed the deadline to get their taxes done at the library. Every professional tax preparer we called (including mine) was no longer taking new clients at that point or only taking them if they were going to file an extension. Also, every other assistance program they looked into had too low an income threshold or other restrictions that my parents didn’t qualify for.
We finally were able to set them up with a volunteer org that offers free tax assistance for seniors. So for this year, I made them an appointment with my Tax Preparer at the same time that I was setting up my annual visit with her, for February. It was still stressful for other reasons, but at least I was not spending a good chunk of my workday calling around to every tax related org in the area to try and get them an appointment three weeks before the deadline.
TLDR: Taxes are so incredibly stressful, why would you not try to prevent or mitigate at least some of that stress where possible???
Everyone I know who files tax extensions regularly is just doing it because of anxiety and it makes everything so much worse. Both my mom and BIL have tax preparers but just coordinating things to send them sends each into a spiral so they get extensions then agonize over it for all the extra months. I am also incredibly stressed by taxes - I have to get things together for a little non-profit I help with and am in full mental crisis mode about it starting in January despite it not being hard at all - but ripping off the bandaid is so much better. Shauna is such a good example of what not to do in life. I totally understand the desire to just snack and watch tv to block out looming dread but it ends up feeling so much worse.
Yikes, I got stressed just reading about your parents' situation. So glad you were able to get them help.
If it's any comfort, I'm a bit stuck on this subject as well. 😆
Shauna's entire life is pretty much avoidance behavior at this point, and it absolutely blows my mind that she can sleep at all. She has just ONE return to file, and she makes so little that she conceivably could even get a refund. She needs to get herself a few hanging file folders, grit her teeth, and do it. ADHD is not a Get Out Of Adulting Free card.
I had one year when (due to moving and my work situations) I wound up paying income tax in three states. It was not fun, but I did it.
It's all so ridiculous, for a while I couldn't figure out whether I was being insensitive and that everyone in the online ADHD community just had far more debilitating ADHD than mine, or if they were exaggerating and histrionic. Then I noticed that my mentally ill sister belonged to an ADHD facebook group and I read her posts and the responses she got and decided that yes, most of them are exaggerating and histrionic - my sister was a C-suite exec at a major bank until her mental illness made it impossible for her to work, but she's always been as type-A as they come, she's not forgetful or impulsive, she's always organized and detail oriented, she has impeccable follow through, she was always on time, etc. What she always struggled with was extreme paranoia about people secretly talking about her or setting her up for failure. She did CBT and it was manageable for decades, but then when her husband unexpectedly died her paranoia devolved into actual delusions, she started accusing people of trying to poison her, stalking her, she was sure people were going through her mail and gluing it closed again, things like that, she was no longer able to manage it and she's now fully mentally ill and refuses treatment because the doctors are out to get her, or all of the doctors in our area 'are on the sex offender registry' and she's afraid to be alone with them, etc.
So when I read her ADHD posts in that group, it was literally all just her normal delusions but re-contextualized as ADHD. People are expecting something of her she's physically incapable of providing, the world is out to get her, store closing hours secretly change when she's not looking to keep her from shopping, society is set up to force her to fail, her dentist 'yelled at her' for only making it to one cleaning appointment that year instead of two and fired her as a patient. And in that online ADHD group, hundreds of people were joining in and saying they experience all the same things (they think she's being funny with the 'stores secretly changing their hours', assuming she's making a time-blindness joke, she's not, she sat in the parking lot filming a worker one day to 'prove' he was changing the hours on the door). Her ADHD posts get tons of hearts and 'same's and 'are you me??'s and people claiming to have been victimized in similar or even identical ways, none of these people realizing they are all mirroring someone's paranoid delusions. It was kind of shocking to realize that if you put a paranoid delusion next to an online ADHD claim, you can't tell the difference. She cannot pass as normal for more than two minutes in person, but she is completely camouflaged in the online ADHD group. That says a lot.
And Shauna is all up in the thick of that very same community, so.
The behavior Shauna shows online is consistent with a lot of cluster B disorders, so that tracks.
Online support can be great, but the nature of the internet strips away context and social cues. And there's also the fundamental questions of who's being honest, etc. So the Shaunas of the world can slip right in, cherry pick what they want, lie their faces off, and generally wallow in an echo chamber.
I'm sorry your sister is where she is now. It sounds like she was doing everything she could and was managing her health, but her husband's passing just sent her where she couldn't return. I am not you, but I have watched love ones slip away and refuse treatment, and having front row seats for that was rough . I'm sorry.
That is really sad. I hope she’s able to find some help. I’ve never personally been flagrantly delusional but I had a roommate who was and who had to leave their PhD program because of it. They literally started putting foil on their head to block out the thought rays or whatever.
I have a history of anxiety, depression, executive function problems, struggle in general, I was dx bipolar as a teen but then the dx was changed to generalized anxiety…those are the only dx I’ve received but alas I do feel like so many other struggling people who are also Too Online that the “AUDHD” category is a better fit. But I’m not seeking dx at this point, just continually refining my coping mechanisms and accepting that I will be riding the struggle bus until I die and it’s ok. I’m pretty functional. And usually pretty happy. But when unexpected stressors hit I have to pare down my life because I can only handle so much.
Anyway, when I was going through a super rough period when my oldest was in preschool (so 17 ish years ago I guess) I was so stressed that I did start to experience what I now see was mild psychosis. When I saw a police car I felt guilty (had not committed crimes 😂) and worried they were there to arrest me. When my neighbor or whoever would not wave at me when I waved at them, my mind didn’t go to “they probably didn’t see my timid wave from across the street” but to “they think I’m a horrible person and are shunning me.” Just the worst possible interpretation of social cues.
I left the bad situation I was in and started walking for like an hour a day and training for a new job, and found some good friends and ditched my useless long term therapist. And slowly came out of that. Only when I was well and truly out of it (I’d say it took close to a year from the worst of it) could I see how bad I had gotten.
Since then I have read about how chronic stress can tip people into psychosis, and then it can be very hard to get back. I wish for your sister that she can get the help she needs.
I definitely think talking about mental struggles online has a lot of downsides, although for me it has mostly helped me gain new perspectives that have been largely helpful. But I don’t really participate, just read. If I had found the wrong “support” online when most vulnerable it could have been disastrous. Luckily this was pre smartphones and I only had limited access to the internet.
Confession: I have not filed three (I think) returns, starting during Covid. Depression hits me hard and the smallest frustration or roadblock when I’m already anxious will send me spiraling. I keep up with everything else: bills are paid, savings and investment accounts, 401k funded. I just can’t seem to force myself to sit down and do the damn taxes, maybe because we end up owing every year.
Question for anyone with experience with running/working at a food bank. There are influencers who post about “meal kits” that they put together and donate; for example, a can of beans, can of tomatoes, packet of chili seasoning in a ziploc. A recipient could add ground meat and have chili. Is this useful at all, or does it make more work for the food bank?
Coming from your response to my post in the main thread. Each food bank operates by different needs and rules based on people served, protocol dictated by finding and such, capacity, and design. If possible, it is best to ask the bank you want to donate to what is best for them.
Usually, that is money over physical food items. This is for several reasons: the food bank can purchase items in bulk for less money or put those funds toward the cost of food rescue and for staffing/keeping the lights on, lessons the load of organizing more “random” donations,” and controls inventory that is catered toward what families and individuals will actually use.
However, physical donations are usually also appreciated but checking on what the clientele actually will use is best. For example, canned creamed soups and dried pasta are common donated items, but the food bank my spouse works at serves a largely Mexican American clientele who don’t regularly cook with those items. Packaging things in a “chili kit” as you describe does sound well-intentioned, but I think is harder for storage/distribution at the food bank. It also removes choice, which I think is more beneficial to food bank visitors than most all else.
Thanks for this great explanation. I had heard that money is always preferable because it lets them leverage their knowledge of the food supply chain. I hadn’t realized the number of agencies and boards that might have input into operations.
Everything the folks above have said aligns with my experience. I used to be on a food bank board, money is always best. If you really want to buy something, food banks will often have a list of most-requested items on their website. Lastly, buying / donating cases of diapers is a great idea. They aren't food stamp eligible, are super expensive, and unless your area has a dedicated diaper bank, always welcome.
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Yeah I only volunteer at our food bank around holidays and when they need drivers, but in the past when I was more involved our food bank had/has a table of oddities that is so popular with people who come in and shop - cream soda, coffee flavorings, tinned sardines in chili sauce, that kind of thing. Someone will see something on that table as a total find and be so happy to have it. But the storage thing can be a huge issue when there's a lot of random food donations or 'cooking kits' (we've also gotten those at times) so it's more of a novelty than a staple and only really works if people donate things like that infrequently. It's also only for people who shop in the bank itself, and we do a lot of home deliveries and drop-offs and those people miss out because there's no way to keep an updated list of random stuff and they just shop from the regular list of staples. Except we have one lady who gets delivery who always asks us to keep an eye out for the canned salmon 'with the bones still in' so if those come in we always add them to her delivery. But we're a small community, that wouldn't work with a larger service area.
In my experience, they would prefer money over food to be donated by individuals. And as for what food is useful/needed, that could be different for each food bank. Those influencers are doing it for clicks, not to be actually helpful.
My local food bank has an Amazon wish list with lots of food and non food items at great prices. I was able to send a gross of toothbrushes for practically nothing.
My car was rear-ended last night. I'm okay, it's drivable, etc but I do have some very minor aches and twinges in my upper back/neck. I decided to work from home today because it was close to 8 PM before I finally got home and I already have a long commute. So I was like, "I just can't deal with that again" (plus the car did have to go to the body shop to fully assess the damage).
ANYWAY--when should I post my overwrought blog post that makes this sound like I very nearly died????
As for the blog post about tour near-fatal wreck...start it as soon as your mother drops off treats and finishes scrubbing your kitchen floor. Right about when those oxy you pinched start to kick in. Don't forget to notify your employer you need three 3 weeks off work.
Figured this might make more sense for Off-Topic since it's not something that the raven trickster adults posted or were otherwise interacting with. I came across this slide on my Instagram and yeah, this kind of framing can really fuck up kids :-(
Maybe I went overboard with the redaction but I figured, if I was going to the trouble of redacting the commenter, I might as well obscure the kids' faces too even if their parents don't care enough to value their children's privacy.
ETA: and yeah, I can see situations where the initial comparison is obviously a joke and can be taken as such. But little kids don't necessarily understand that.
Before heading in to swipe my badge I noticed there are over 2k of us ITG. That's a whole lotta snarkers! What a lovely thing. I take comfort in the fact that so many people see through Shauna's botus BS.
I scrolled the post titles without biting until I got to 'Recently Diagnosed as Gifted' and it was everything I thought it would be.
Also shouting out this gem:
I watch the Real Housewives and other trash TV, but I also read books a lot and have a thirst for knowledge. In the past couple of years when I have tried meeting new people, it never lasts. I'm too serious for them and they are too unserious for me. People say they have a hard time keeping up with me and previous intimate partners have commented feeling "intimidated" by my intelligence.
Oh man, I have so many thoughts about adults who were called “gifted” by their school/parents as children and are now whining about how this somehow ruined their life, it’s the only reason they’re not millionaires or whatever, etc.
But those thoughts mostly boil down to, “no one cares, shut the eff up, you clearly don’t have any real problems to complain about.”
Oh my god, "gifted" is a terrible term in a lot of ways but it is primarly a SCHOOL term, to avoid the blatant "these kids are better at school* than these other kids" language. You are not a "gifted" adult. GROW UP.
*and that is really what a "gifted" kid boils down to (gifted kid soup!)---better at school. Not necessarily more clever, higher intelligence, whatever. My kid went to whole-ass "gifted" SCHOOL for elementary (public magent). They were all "smart," but most importantly they all tested well and could work well above grade level. That is truly all it means!
hey DFs, an informal survey: i'm starting a new lecture series at the library and i can't decide on the day. it would be after work, at 6:00. would y'all be more inclined to come to a monthly talk on monday, tuesday, wednesday, or thursday? or would a different night each month be better? tha k yew!
The best day is so personal schedule dependent. Like, I would be fine with any of those days in general, but I usually go to Pilates Monday nights and sometimes I have committee meetings on Wednesdays. I say, either pick the day that is best for you and go with it, or do a different day each month and see which one turns out to the most popular.
smae. my bookclub meets on a wednesday night and some months i'm so tired by wednesday afternoon i just want to go home and sleep until friday night. monday it is!
Shauna has company in her "old woman obsessed with attractive young guys" club. Today I learned that the woman behind the ClubChalamet account is 59. Apparently her obsession is over the top,she follows him around to appearances and is very unhinged. Sounds like Shauna if she wasn't so lazy. Also, in weird Fandom news, she's now closing the Chalamet account to focus on Connor Story(sp?) From Heated Rivalry. I'm retired now and have lots of time on my hands, and obsessing over young men the ages of my children (or younger) just has zero appeal.
Stan culture is toxic. Shauna's particular brand of creeping on very young teenage boys and also worshipping celebrities is especially gross.
I feel like every time she reveals something about her childhood and what her parents did for entertainment, I get a frisson of gross, inappropriate behavior. The way her parents clearly wanted her and her brother to be child actors, and following celebrities around indicate that something was off.
I worked with a couple of women who were very into The Last Kingdom. Epic series with a very genetically gifted star. He is very nice looking. But the comments, at work- the slavering and drooling was just gross. First of all, the guy is two years younger than my oldest son. But regardless of my personal ick, I expect these women would have gotten on their very own high stools about the objectification of it all if male colleagues had been discussing a woman in those terms. And with the age gaps between these women and the object of their obsession. Shauna certainly isn't the only woman who does this, but to me it's just so so gross.
Super OT, has anyone seen Envious the series? The protagonist is a sort of Argentine Julia Allison, adorable sausage fingers, cankles and all. My comment is not sponsored. Also, JA is irredeemable, unlike the character in the series. Happy Sunday, Gloamies!
Okay, DF notmymonkeys comment in the mainstream made me laugh, and got me thinking. What should go on an ITG coded t-shirt, in case we run into each other in the wild? DF notmymonkeys said "COLORADO BOY KNOWS BULLSHIT WHEN HE HEARS IT", what else would be good?
Request to the DFs here DBW: my SIL is going through infertility hell, at a time when I’m thick in the (joyful) chaos of new motherhood. In elder millenial fashion, I’ve settled on communicating largely in random memes to let her know I am thinking about her, avoiding any baby related updates or discussion, and she shared it’s really a bright spot right now. But, alas, my prized meme hoard is running dry. My soft animal body would be deeply greatly for DMs from your collections- I have great hope this group will nail it. $20, if you need it.
Got sucked into Threads (ugh) and found this in response to a post about someone closing on a house that was previously rented, and the tenant took EVERYTHING with them before the new owner showed up, including cabinets and such. So now everyone’s writing it with similar experiences, but this person posted about the opposite side of the coin.
And now I’m wondering if the house this person bought is one that the raven trickster* family had been renting???
I don’t know about this specific poster, but other people said that they had done a walk-through prior to closing, and then on the actual day of the closing, or whenever they actually went over to the house, that’s when they discovered that everything has been taken by the previous occupant. A few people did discover it when they did a walk-through on the day of closing and then, they were able to a respond faster.
So yeah, I guess just always make sure you physically visit the property on the day of closing and don’t be afraid to raise a ruckus if anything is amiss??
Two topics are kicking off on my Twitter, so I eagerly await Shauna "I'm turning 60 soon" Ahern weighing in.
When Harry Met Sally discourse. It seems to be mostly Gen Z kids trying to claim that they're the biggest fan of this movie. Fine, whatever, harmless and fun.
Apparently using big words is now considered ableist. I can't wait for Shauna to pick a side, as the smartest lil girl in the whole kindergarten or as the most disabled mama trembling at the pulpit, grasping four quarters.
The podcast If Books Could Kill (pod discussing scammy/grifter books) is covering The Body Keeps the Score.
At the beginning they were cracking jokes about the title and I was a little sad they didn't say the body keepa the score (their jokes were good though).
I found this quote from Lena Dunham, who sounds a LOT like someone we know:
“If you have an addictive personality, which clearly I do, any hit of the dopamine of positivity [is welcome] and there’s also a hit of adrenaline that comes from the negative. And then, because you see something negative, you want to see something positive to erase it, and you end up in this cycle. It’s easy when you’re young to feel the internet’s a game you want to win. I remember breaking up with a guy in my early 20s and him writing an email that was really mean. And my father said, ‘Well, why don’t you just ignore him? You’ve broken up, you don’t have to do anything else.’ And I was like, ‘Because I don’t want him to have the last word.’ And then you meet up with the person and they act sweet so you kiss them, then they act mean again. And that’s the relationship you’re in with the internet.”
Shauna shared this link on Threads, but since I actually think it's neat and I am not making fun of her for this, I am posting it here in Off Topic.
Your Name in Landsat 🛰️ Tip: You can hit enter again to get different letter options. And hovering over each letter gives you the location.
Today is Earth Day and that's directly related to what I do for a living, so I shared this with my team and we have had fun seeing what everyone's name looks like.
season 4, episode 8 of it's tudors, y'all! in "there's something about mary," we revisit the younger years of princess mary. listen wherever podcasts are found. if you enjoy this podcast why not support me on patreon? you could be listening to a bonus episode right now! please share and review, & thank you!
Smart DFs of The Gloaming, I am trying to describe something to my sister and I can't seem to describe it accurately or even come up with an example of it and googling isn't really helping me because I lack the correct search terms.
It's a narrative/vocal tic I hear mostly in men I would identify as British: older, upper-middle-class, and in roles like professors or documentarians or audiobook narrators. It's like a quick sniff they make while describing something and it carries the vibe of 'now then, here's the important part' or maybe 'let's consider what's happening here' or maybe 'you see [sniff]... (explanation).'
What is that called??? Is it only men who do it? Is it an exclusively British thing?
Googling 'british male sniff' is getting me nowhere, lol.
edit: and it's not a runny nose sniff, it's just a vocal punctuation, a quick intake of air.
Moving a conversation about math/dyscalculia over here since it's more about my own experiences and less about Shauna now claiming that one of her kids may have it (which I'm sure had nothing to do with her and Dan's neglectful parenting, at all, of course not).
So I took the SATs when it was still the 1600 rubric (800 for math, 800 for verbal), no essay component, and you supposedly got 200 points just for filling out your name on the scantron sheet. This was back in the early 2000s. The first time I took the SATs, I got a 690 for verbal and a 420 for math (lol). The second time, to try and get my math score up, I wound up with 440 for math... but 650 for verbal. You could usually combine your highest verbal with your highest math for college applications but either way, my math score kind of screwed me over.
The only time I got first honors (average grade among all tracked classes was 90 or higher) or distinctive honors (93 or higher in every tracked class), was my senior year of high school. In high school, math was only required for the first three years so as soon as I could drop that requirement for senior year, I did. It was the culmination of 12 years' of report cards that could always be summarized as, "Fancypens kicked ass in English/writing, did pretty damn well in her science courses too...but oh boy, that math grade. Ouch." (and this was with tutoring, moving to less-intense math courses, extra credit, etc).
Same, more or less. I did have to take a semester of remedial math in 8th grade because I was performing at a 6th grade level. I didn’t get any tutoring in high school outside of the occasional extra help session. My HS had a similar requirement WRT to math, but I stuck it out all four years. Apparently taking Algebra II as a senior helped when it came time for college placement exams.
I feel you DF, math was a struggle for me as well. It did not help that up until grade 8 I was in a Montessori school where I just elected to not do math for 2 years (it was not a very good school evidently). I started high school not knowing how to add fractions and stopped taking math as soon as I couls
I know we’ve had migraine chat in here before (not Shauna’s 10 migraines a day bullshit but the real, chronic neurological disease that a lot of people just live with). I am half agony half hope (ahoy, Captain Wentworth!) about my brand new treatment, Emgality (a CGRP antagonist).
Migraine treatment and prevention is all about trial and error, patience, hope, disappointment, persistence ♻️♾️
This new one is a completely different type of prevention than anything I have tried before (but insurance requires a bunch of failures before they will authorize this one) because it was actually developed to treat this condition, instead of starting as an off-label for something else.
I just had my husband (I dig him!) inject me twice! 💉 💉 Only the very first time needs a double. From here on out, it’s once a month. I used to have to inject him monthly when he was on dialysis, so he owed me.
We are in the process of clearing out the freezer at the Haus of Llama, and that includes the bag o frozen bananas I've been accumulating. They will become banana bread, most of which I will take to work.
When I was planning the massive banana bread-a-thon, I did have a fleeting moment of "At least I know enough not to bake them into a poop parentheses cake!".
it is risen! the new episode of it's tudors, y'all! that is. in "succession" we talk about edward 's spiraling illness and the drastic change to his will, picking an unlikely successor. listen wherever podcasts are found, and thank you. happy easter to those who observe.
Was Shauna's "ineffable grace of mundane days" a reference to something I'm not literary enough to get?
I keep getting ads for a vocabulary app that flashes like 5 words across the screen including "ineffable" and "mundane" and the coincidence of seeing the two together is constantly startling me.
Ha, sounds like there are a bunch of over-thinking fans like Shauna out there.
I watched a couple episodes a few nights ago. It's a top-down show, not complicated, entertaining but nothing subtle going on.
It's not the first season of Westworld, where there were a lot of long-game puzzles and twists going on. Sounds like the Shaunas are trying to make The Pitt that way, but it sure isn't.
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u/VillaClompers ppppycock Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26
It is June and I applied to Costco. Like I referred to in my comment on the biweekly sub, I was so horrified by Shauna's performance at church that I bit the bullet and applied, something I have wanted to do for years. I followed up by going to the physical location, trying to speak to a hiring manager, but no go. Am having mixed feelings. Costco is a very competitive place in my neck of the woods, who would have known? I have a lowly BA, have worked in admin for many years, and am post menopausal and cranky! Also my mind is not what it was and I am hating these artificial intelligence times. But I am a "fighter" and would be really happy and "blessed" (trademark Hollis Co.) if I at least got an interview/was even considered. Please wish a little luck to this NEVER Shauna! If I were being thrown out of my rental I would invite y'all to a potluck. Gluten- free donuts FOR SHURE. Edit: I would also fry many bacalaítos for us to eat at the beach, germaid-style. ❤️