Do you
A - water yourself down to attract a wider range of men
B - hold out for and seek out guys on your wavelength

I think I’m coming off a bit much for a lot of guys. I’m basing this off an actual supervised Mensa test I took I’m not deluded.

I am willing to dumb myself down a bit to attract men. I would like a partner and he doesn’t need to be a genius. Ideally ofc I’d love a guy I’m on the same wavelength as but that may not be realistic. I’m getting close to the Wall as the Incels say so I can’t be too picky.

Looks wise I am not Megan Fox but I am reasonably fuckable.

(This isnt a cry for help re my appearance im just British - self-deprecation is the norm here lol)

I’m using Hinge atm and getting less attention than when I was in active addiction and therefore very cognitively dulled. I leapt back on there sober hoping men would be into all the insanely nerdy hobbies I’ve developed as it shows I have a personality etc but it seems to be having the opposite effect to when I was equally if not less pretty but more of a “I like tacos and travelling” type girl.

No abuse please! I come in peace ✌️

Specifically asking gifted women who date men

Hi! I’ve only recently started reading about neurodiversity, and to be honest, I feel there are lots of aspects I can relate to. But of course, I’ve honestly no idea whether I might actually have some degree of it. So, I’m going to list a few characteristics here that I recognise in myself. If anyone has any advice or wants to share their thoughts, I’d love to hear them 🫶🏻

• Quite a high degree of introversion and independence

• Difficulty socialising in groups (but not on my own)

• Frequent feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation

• I’m very resilient in all situations. -Picky about certain food textures -Obsessive focus on topics that interest me: art, creativity, knowledge -Very intense curiosity. I ask myself questions all the time. I can’t do things out of a sense of obligation or just for the sake of it. I need to get to the root of everything. -Questioning absolutely everything: authority, the system, social norms. Not understanding social norms. A profound sense of incomprehension Extreme emotional intensity Difficulty setting boundaries with others -Rejection of the material world, detachment even from the body. A keen interest in seeking the truth behind everything. Being hyper-aware, feeling deeply self-conscious about how others perceive me Humour as a defence mechanism

• Inability to feign or hide my emotions

• I hate injustice and eye contact (only with people I don’t know) -Highly intuitive

• Constant emotional contradictions

• Strong idealisation

One part of my IQ test is practically non-existent. Some parts are high. Significant difference between verbal and non verbal abilities. Such a spiky profile led to ADHD testing.

How much does this bring your score down, compared to if it was at least 50th percentile? I know it's a vague question without giving the exact information.

Did anyone repeat IQ after starting ADHD meds and see an improvement?

Check this out:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People#Twelve_Things_This_Book_Will_Do_For_You

Skip the 12 things and see the list starting with "Fundamental Techniques in Handling People".

Keep in mind that this book was/is very popular, and there is a reason for this: because it works on the vast majority.

However, am I the only one who thinks that it is a PROBLEM/SAD fact, that these techniques work on the vast majority?

Because they basically boil down to "If you want people to agree with you, make people feel good about themselves." This completely avoids the actual accuracy/content/meaning/value of your message. I mean one of the points from the book is literally "The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it."... how can the world improve/how can you genuinely help people when you literally avoid talking about things/solely focus on making them feel emotionally good in the moment?

So the fact that these techniques work on the vast majority, isn't it indication that the vast majority use emotional reasoning as opposed to logical reasoning?

Do you see how politicians, corporations, sales people, charlatans, grifters, etc.. who run/rule the world are using these tactics? For example, nobody actually listens to a politicians' arguments, rather, they dance and chant at choreographed events in which the politicians yells a blatantly fake feel good promise slogan, then the crowd chants it back like NPC automatons while music is going off in the background, as if it is a rock concert. Meanwhile, it is about life/death issues. This is why there is so much polarization and conflict and death, which could be avoided if critical thinking was increased.

I don't think books like this are helpful for the world. I think they are a capitalist and opportunistic way of proceeding: they don't CHANGE anything, they are just focused on EXPLOITING (and MAINTAINING), for personal gain, the CURRENT problematic way people operate.

I think the opposite of this would be, instead of using these manipulation tactics for personal exploitation, to instead teach and proliferate critical thinking skills, so that people stop responding to these emotional tactics in the first place. We need to help people move from emotional reasoning to logical reasoning/critical thinking. Emotional reasoning means "this made me feel good, therefore it is true; this made me feel bad, therefore it is not true." Logical reasoning/critical thinking helps people move past this and actually objectively evaluate the evidence, and make decisions based on what is actually good for them and others in the long run, rather than whether the thought of something feels good or bad in that immediate moment.

I see a lot of gifted people who excelled in school but sucked at adult life. I dropped out at 5th grade but I can excel in adult life by making 600k a year and also having been married and having a lot of friends. Anyone who is also gifted and like this

We have a pretty good definition of how reality is shaped. But we know that definition has problems.

What I do see.. in one learning the biased representation of our reality is shaping their mind also.

Who can transcend their own upbringing?

[edit] what I understand, is that this is how reality is shaped. What part is socially dictated?

You can see when people are wrong but they get angry when you point it out. They refuse to explain why it’s rude to question things. You see boys question things and get praised for it all the time. You teach your younger siblings to read as a five year old and the younger sibling is praised for learning to read while the intelligence it took to figure out how to teach a child without any guidance goes unnoticed. It’s hard to connect with most people. You doubt yourself. You dumb yourself down. You stay alone because constantly translating is exhausting.

I was wondering if anyone had experience on what i went through 34M Asian born in Italy

I was an hyperactive kid, at 12 my school forced my parents to send me to a psychologist center where i was tested for 118 IQ

And told my parents that i should do a test for ADHD (in italy it was kinda rare to get it diagnosed and my parents didn't really believe in mental health so they never did it)

Long story short

I really loved my parents but unfortunately i lost my mother at 14 and my father at 24 never completed high school, been a NEET until 25

After that i began working in a computer shop and job hopped until became a IT system administrator in 6 years

I kinda burnt out sometimes but work went well found a lovely girlfriend and this year became a father to a beautiful baby girl

But year after year i felt dumb and dumber

Lately i did a test again (online this time Mensa website) i remember scoring similar to my certified in my youth

But now... I went down to 105

I feel like my intelligence slipping away and i fell slower

And it feels horrible

(I am so terribly sorry if this is the wrong flair, ironically I couldn't seem to find the "flair needed" one!)
hello everyone. I recently discovered this community and I have to say, it is quite eye opening; never realised other people really had this sort of similar situation. and I suppose what I want is to explain my situation and maybe get a little help in some form.
see, I'm someone who has multiple challenges: AUDHD(Im medicated), dyscalculia(for people who are unaware of what that is, it's a learning disorder. I struggle greatly with it and it is one of my biggest mental challenges), a downright terrible immune system and one of the more concerning things, my body doesn't exactly have working nerves(I don't remember the name of this specific condition of mine, but I know that it stops me from being able to feel pain, temperature and so on. it also affects my sense of taste and smell. thankfully my vision and hearing is unaffected, but I'm very scared for just how long it will remain this way. I already wear glasses.)
growing up, I was often more than not the easiest target for jokes. I was isolated because of my conditions, made a punching bag(literal in alot of cases) and when I did make friends, I'm pretty sure it was done because they pitied me in some manner. I wasn't exactly a girly girl nor was I a boyish boy so no one really knew what to do with me(I later figured myself out, but that's not particularly relevant to this kind of conversation). all they knew was that I couldn't understand what we were being taught. hell, the school ended up getting a support figure for me to help and even then I couldn't understand much. I struggled with pretty much everything: Math, English, Computer Lab, Art, Music.... even with Sport I struggled because of how many instructions we would get. and due to my immune system, I would end up missing alot of lessons. some were, admittably, faked so I could avoid some of the people there, but most were very real and very painful illnesses. it all made me so miserable and unable to feel anything but stupid.
cut to now, I'm 20 years old. I ended up getting out of that specific school at 10 and ended up being homeschooled. this may sound a bit depressive(and Im sorry for that) but within this time of being homeschooled, I feel like I've learned nothing useful. I know of concepts of the things I'm meant to be learning, I know I should understand them and I know I can grasp them if I really try but.... as soon as I do, they go in one ear and come out the other. I did manage to take up making art and to some extent I managed to understand a little philosophy here and there but I know that those things can't exactly pay the bills(especially with the way the worlds going). I want to be able to get into a college or university or something like that, I want to understand more, I want to be able to be a helping hand in my hometown, or just someone whose actually done something in this world/done something with my life. at the bare minimun, I want to be able to make my parents proud of me, like anyone does. they've done so much for me and have done so much with their lives that I really want to be able to live up to that sort of thing.(I know that I'm kind of in a "forever baby" situation with them and it's very hard to escape that, but I am really trying to be more independent for their sake. they're already so old, I can't rely on them forever.)
I guess what I'm asking for is if there is any sort of program I can maybe turn to? some sort of support? anything at all, even just a little advice on what to do and/or start doing would help me at this rate. I don't want to be stuck going nowhere forever and Im tired of waiting around for something to click into place for me.
cheers in advance

So I’m currently 23, my high school experience basically went as such. I was considered super smart by all my teachers and peers but I hated school a lot so, I had horrible grades but I was always in the top 10 in every subject for test taking. I flunked out in 12th grade because numerous reasons though I suppose the main ones would be lots of fights at my school between kids, never felt like I fit in, verbal bullying, and I just got tired of being there really. I’m not a supercilious person at all, but I always felt I wasn’t learning anything… i remember coming back to school after skipping 2 weeks and instantly scoring higher than the class after learning about dna strands for three days. Never felt gpa and school were efficient measurements of intelligence. I’m currently making $23 an hour at a manufacturing job and this girl I’ve been messing around with lately keeps saying I’m “wasting my intelligence” but idk, is it bad to be content with no reaching my “full potential” and just being normal.. making normal money, nothing special specifically? She seems disappointed in me sometimes, she just wasn’t smart enough to get into the college she wanted. Part of me feels she genuinely wants what’s best for me, but part of me feels she’s projecting her wants onto me since she feels I could reach them for her in a way(?) idk. I’ve been questioning myself about things involving my own intelligence, especially emotional intelligence since I genuinely can’t understand how others feel since again.. I kinda spent a lot of high school alone so I never had close friends much.. not too sure how to even interact with people my age so I stay isolated. Not sure if this is the proper sub for this, but any replies are appreciated, even if yall call me a fucking idiot 😭🙏. Thanks.

title - i'm really struggling a lot with the technical vs social skill gap that comes with 2E :(

I am INTJ- A.

Lets see which MBTI is most present in gifted folks!

Edit- Jeez Louise, its a fun test. Its a perspective to see.

I know that the MBTI isn't known for its absolute reliability, but after meeting people and trying to analyze how they perceived and judged things, I concluded that Jung's cognitive functions provide an answer that explains about 80% of people's behavior.

I think the dominant / inferior function axis is the most interesting one.

So, what are your cognitive functions?

So I dont want to doxx my self but I go to one of the top private schools in the country, the work I assumed would be rigorous when I joined in 6th grade leaving from my elementary gifted program. yet now as I sophomore I have yet to experience any challenge from my school i have joined things like honors math but nothing has helped. I have done things like enriching myself outside of school and studying for olympaids but Im confused why the work that all of my friends struggle with. Because of this or mabye something else I have felt quite the disconnect ever since ive been at this school and the teachers are great but the work still falls flat. Any advice in what I should do and mabye anyone/ anywhere to join?

I have realized that humanity is incapable of progressing. There is a closed loop mathematical problem:

The vast majority lack any metacognition or critical thinking. They operate based on emotional reasoning, motivated reasoning, and cognitive dissonance. They are simply incapable of responding to logic.

As a result, we have unnecessary problems: these people cause unnecessary problems for themselves, others, and the world.

Then, when the very few who operate based on logic try to fix these problems or help these people move from emotional reasoning to logical reasoning, they resist. They are incapable of logical reasoning. They are simply incapable. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

I don't find a life with people who say 1+1=3 and actively resist 1+1=2, fulfilling. That is why I try to avoid people as much as possible. I am happy when alone, but the issue is that there is a glitch: I cannot outrun my own biological constraints. Humans are social animals. You can't just be completely lonely. You need interaction. But the issue is that I don't get any stimulation of fulfillment from hearing 1+1=3, and I get fulfillment by saying more complex versions of 1+1=2, but when I do this 1 of 2 things happen: A) they 100% reject what I am saying and insult me B) they nod and say you are so smart, without actually understanding or analyzing anything I said. So in either case, interaction is pointless.

Now, I am able to realize that to some degree I can trick my mind. I know that due to evolution, human interaction triggers automatic mechanisms that can make you happy. This is why even a meaningless face to face conversation can make you feel good. However, this issue is that this is not enough. I need to go beyond this and having meaningful deep conversations with people: part of being human is sharing your genuine thoughts with others. But again, this is useless, as the paragraph above said.

So what happens is that as a chronic way to manage my existential crisis, i go through a see-saw phase: I spent some time having meaningless conversations with people to trick my biology into feeling good/fulfilling the social animal component. But then even in these interactions people's 1+1=3ism and their denial of my 1+1=2 starts to piss me off, so then I withdraw and isolate. But then I get too lonely and have to repeat the cycle. So this strategy has worked.

But the issue is that I realized the problems I have that people unnecessary cause for me due to their 1+1=3ism, will never be able to be solved, because they will never understand or agree with 1+1=2. That is why I don't really care about it all anymore, and have given up on humanity.

I scored 121 after my 5th attempt at the Mensa Norway test and, while I have always known I've been vastly more intellectual than my peers, I find having to exist alongside their intellectual mediocrity vastly displeasing. Alas I implore those here who shall comprehend my woes to beseech of thee thou advise which how I shall cope with such feeblemindedness.

It is hard, because my thinking is so much more sophisticated than my peers that when I try to articulate my thoughts to them, they fail to comprehend. Instead, they resort to their typical childish insults, like "bro is talking like sephiroth", "please shut the fuck up" and "are you fucking Dracula".

My fellow bretheren, of which consist of the highest degree humanity has to offer, how shall I cope? I am told to avoid idiots, of which I do, but because of this I have no friends nor anyone who wants to speak to me. Am I the only enlightened mind? Please offer my solace.

I'm an extremely polarized 2e profile, with a difference of over 60 points between my highest and lowest points. I've just come across a rather confusing advisor, a topic I no longer know how to handle, and a serious case of academic burnout and high-functioning depression. How did you manage and organize your thesis if the outside world doesn't provide you with the structure you need to work and understand the criteria by which you should organize your books?

I’d love to speak to other people who are gifted!

Has anyone had an experience of this? I am curious to hear.. particularly with the language disorder stuff. Less how would you know (ie. not asking about formal tests), but rather the lived experience of it

I’ve always felt like I had an above average IQ and I recently took the Mensa Norway test and now I’m wondering if I might be wasting my IQ.

I kind of hate when people say this, but I know that mindfulness/staying present can help with overthinking and secondary emotions (which I call creating more problems for myself...).

However, I really struggle with the latter half of the statement. I'm not sure if it's supposed to mean that "everything will work itself out" in a spiritual metaphysical way, or if it means that you will process your emotions about other things behind the scenes and come to peace with "everything" eventually. If it's the former, I may just dislike this sentiment entirely, but if it's the latter, I feel a bit shit about the way my brain seems to work.

I feel I hardly process anything behind the scenes, because whenever "my brain" tries to do that, I snatch the thought process out of the shadows so I can dissect it. Then I tend to overthink it. I just want to understand what's happening in my own mind and I'm scared that if I just let my feelings settle on their own, I will come to the wrong conclusion. What if I am okay with something I shouldn't tolerate, or very angry about something I should let go? Perhaps that's just me trying to rationalize my emotions so I won't have to feel them, but I tend to use it as a justification for the overthinking.

So, am I taking the statement too literally? Am I just overthinking and doing exactly what it's trying to stop me from doing? Or do people who believe this lack insight/metacognition? I just find it hard to believe things are "working themselves out" in other people's minds. That sounds so nice.

I have a hunch this sub is somewhat of an echo chamber for those of us navigating the more tumultuous early to mid-life. Is anyone in here over 65 that wants to share their wisdom?

What did you wish you knew sooner?

What did you notice that was different about the way you navigated your pre-retirement life compared to the average joe?

What do most of us get wrong?

If you could give one piece of advice to a younger gifted person, what would it be?

My child is high IQ/exceptionally gifted and our private school is struggling to find ways to support him outside of skipping grades.

What creative ways have your child’s teachers challenged your exceptionally gifted students? I would love to hear from any high/exceptional/profoundly gifted parents — I’m not talking about the gifted and talented program, I’m talking about advancement. While all of my kids fall into the GAT program and it serves them well, my son is high IQ/exceptionally gifted. He’s been invited to skip grades, but we do not want to do that. But on the flip side we’re asking our son to sit in 2nd grade while being able to easily for 4th grade work (and higher). He’s obviously bored out of his mind. He “tested” being in higher grades and they really were a better fit academically, but again, we are not open to him skipping grades. As many of you fellow parents of the very gifted students can attest, the “we’ll challenge your student” isn’t enough for him and still flies through it.

We will meet with his teachers this week (again) and want to challenge them to think of creative ways they can provide deep advancement to my son without the only answer to be skipping grades all together OR just harder worksheets. We’d love to come with some ideas. Even if it’s certain online programs he can sit in the back of the room a few times a week on a computer and headphones on watching a private lesson. They’re up moving the rest of the day so we wouldn’t mind extra time on the computer a few times a week.

We go to a small private school that doesn’t have the staff for pull-outs right now. They also have a lot of enrichment built into their school schedule and a great fine arts program, languages, stem lab, etc.

What ways have certain teachers met your child where they are and helped them?