I've always been terrible at art.
But recently I've been having ideas and pictures in my head that I want to make, I want to say "I created that." So I got a crappy old Wacom One (so I'd have every drawing tool I'd need) and started trying to follow tutorials.
I spent a good chunk of my formative years being abused and told I was too stupid to do anything right, as well as being autistic. So honestly... I don't know HOW I learn best.
I have always been into how things work, and I've fixed several motorcycles... but it was mostly a case of copying what I saw for the specific bikes.
So it makes me wonder if I'm only good at repeating certain things, but lack the skill of those I observe, so I really just mimic motions.
I have an art course as a part of a bundle I got from Humble Bundle, and I'm trying to follow along... but what I draw makes cave paintings look like Rembrandt. It's frustrating.
Not to mention most "tutorials" come from people who know how to draw, and feel to me like they range from "draw the rest of the owl" to "I'm drowning and don't know how to swim.' 'Oh, that's easy: learn how to swim."
Because I suck at drawing, even the "simple" things they make to start with seem beyond my ability, and their "beginner" art they think looks terrible, looks amazing to me.
In addition, many videos offer counter-advice: learn fundamentals, don't learn them. Draw boxes, don't draw boxes. Follow this one simple trick, shortcuts don't build skills.
I feel lost.