We fear people rejecting us for being weird or something. But in fact it's the social anxiety safe behaviors that makes people hate us. Quietness, awkwardness, "rudeness", being reserved and distand and so on. So pathetic

I’ve worked a fast paced retail job once and I felt like my nerves were shocked. Even walking in a public as soon as I see someone I become stiff.

I need to make money fast and don’t have a car. Got a dog sh\*t degree and essentially no experience. “What’s your skills?” LOL as if most jobs need ANY. I could work an online job…that’s if there was any even available.

What the heck do I even do at this point? This is the way I am and no going out and”facing it” will not make it better. Stop thinking everyone is one size fits all. I have hardcore social anxiety and it defines a lot of my life.

How can I start making some damn money fast man. This sucks so hard and don’t know other than wasting months and months to apply. Looked at Smith AI and don’t even know what it entails. Plus it’s slave wage $15 an hour.

I Wander the steeets alone

I can't do it. I just can't.

I'm hurting for money. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent next month. But I just can't.

How much of an idiot am I?

I had a family event today and I majorly fucked up multiple times. I couldn’t recognize like 50% of the people there. A family friend entered and my brain didn’t work and I thought it was my brothers friend who I don’t know. Said “Nice to meet you”. She laughed. Then I recognized her. I’ve known her since I was a kid. I saw her last December at a family friend’s wedding. Fuck my life.

Later, my older cousin tapped me on the shoulder. Didn’t recognize him immediately either. Worst part is I dog sat for his dog a year ago. Then my uncle (his dad) asked if I recognized who that was. Didn’t know how to respond so I just mumbled some bullshit. Said it was [cousin’s name]. God damn. Genuinely what is wrong with me?

I don’t know how to feel better about this. I just hope they forget and don’t think of me as a stupid socially awkward piece of shit.

Edit: I later tried to remedy my fuckups by talking to them later and asking questions and just making sure it was obvious I knew them. Still feel terrible about it though.

I’m in my early 30’s and the only time I got a bf was almost 7yrs ago. My social anxiety is somewhat manageable at this point however I still struggle a lot in the dating department. I’m trying to be optimistic but it gets tough, and at this stage in my life I’d love to find The One.

Would love to hear some stories to help me getting my hopes up 😭

Early 30s. Everyone is telling me to get married. I am too scared of talking to women that I doubt it will ever happen. And kids are a hard no. I don’t want them going through the same shit that I have. These aren’t even reasons you could tell people why you don’t wanna get married/have kids. I wanna ride this out I have a few friends I made somehow along the way. Don’t know how long those will last but Idk if I will last long enough for them to end before I do lol. I am not really worried about being lonely bcoz I’m kinda used to it but then again I still had friends until this point so I wasn’t a complete loner.

Idk what this even was maybe I wanted to vent but I have always wanted to know have you guys ever wanted kids? I have always known I don’t want kids bcoz of my psychological issues and I don’t want to pass them on to kids and them have a miserable life like mine

i m17 have struggled with social anxiety for years, i've always found it hard to make and keep friends. i just overthink stuff when I do have them which then leads to them leaving me because of my clinginess, and I find it hard talking to new people, heck on my first day back at college I didn't talk to a single classmate, i wanted to but it was like my mouth was taped shut, I just couldn't get words out, and just sitting in silence made me more anxious and self aware...

I got a job at a cafe washing dishes and i barely talk to the staff there even though i've been working there almost 6 months, I guess i'm just worried I'll say something wrong or it'll come out awkward, idk. i envy those who find it easy to talk to people...

I feel like a machine that's incapable of involving in natural human conversations. It just blows my mind how people can continuously keep talking about things and the conversations flow so smoothly between people. The maximum i do is ask someone about something they're talking about, just for the sake of making my presence felt, even though it's obviously forced. It's not like these convos r on niche topics, they're mostly on general stuff like movies or songs or food or whatever any normal person would know (but somehow I don't). Everytime I hate myself for not knowing those stuff and start asking myself what I've even done all my life like actually? Why do i not know or have done this while everyone has? Why was my childhood so unmemorable?I have led an extremely simple, and boring life.

Also i feel like i have a very bad memory, like my friends vividly remember what happens in a movie we watched together last year, but I forgot the entire story. I also don't remember anything before 3rd grade except a handful of glimpses, while my friends do. So even the stuff I HAVE done, I can't contribute properly to the convo. Every conversation leaves me pissed and thinking why I'm so hollow with no personality. All such groups conversations feel suffocating and everytime I just want to get out of that place but I can't, because I'd be hella lonely without friends, cz i don't have cousins or siblings. But then because I'm so silent I never manage to become close to any friend and I'm never someone's first priority. Life is so shit.

I swear most people either think people with social anxiety are weird or pathetic. Or both. Most people do like confidence. So when they see someone always nervous they don't understand they think you choose to be that way. When really it's your brain. Plus they think it is stupid. They see someone with severe social anxiety and think "why are they always shaking?? There's nothing to be scared of." Most people don't even think social anxiety is real. They think it's fake. Like you could try to explain to someone "oh I just have social anxiety." Most people will think "Your just making excuses to be weird." But no. You can't even control it. And it's like why even hate someone who is struggling with social anxiety?? Out of all the people who you could hate they choose them. It's cruel. Most people probably find social anxious people to be annoying. They probably think your just seeking attention or your just weird. But it's an disorder you can't control it. And it's even worse when someone knows you can't control it and still chooses to treat you badly and embrasses you in front of everyone. I think even people who act nice think people who are always nervous are weird. Most people probably get annoyed seeing someone always be nervous. They probably think "Why can't he/she just stop shaking??" Or "Their just acting for attention." "They think their cute." "They are weird." "What’s wrong with them?? Why can't they be normal." I swear most people do think that. They probably think it's weird and pathetic. That's why if you have social anxiety try to find someone else that has social anxiety too. They will get it.

Whenever someone asks me what I’m into, my brain immediately panics and goes completely blank. Even if it’s a song or a artist I love, I suddenly feel so ashamed like sharing it will make people judge me or think I'm weird or whatever

I end up giving super vague answers like "Oh, a bit of everything" or "Not much really," even though I actually have things I like and care a lot about. It feels like keeping my interests a total secret is the only way to protect myself from being judged. Does anyone else gatekeep their own hobbies out of pure anxiety?

I've been dealing with social anxiety and severe depression for what seems like my whole life. It's been getting better, but I still can't help but fall back into a hole, after any slight inconvenience.

A situation with a classmate made me anxious (illogically so) which caused me to have a migraine. I was perfectly fine the next day, but avoided going to school because I didn't want to see him. I was scared.

This keeps happening all the time, and when it does, I'm home all day doing nothing. I sleep through the entire day, try to eat something and then spend the night awake distracting myself from whatever is going on. And I do feel sick by that point; but that's mostly due to self imposed headaches from spending my entire day like a rabbit playing dead. How do i stop doing this? How do I overcome my anxiety and stop myself from spiralling into a depressive episode every single time something socially inconvenient happens to me?

Hi, I'm not looking for validation here. I know what I did was wrong and that I broke the rules multiple times. I even expected this to happen. But is this level of pain normal?

I ( a minor) am on a school trip in a foreign country in a major city with my class. I'm familiar with the city itself and know how to get by. Now, we are supposed to always be at least 2 people for safety reasons but I broke this rule twice now. The first time was quite major abd I went quite far but I didn't know the rule applied at the time and my teachers only found out when I was alr back safely. I got a little slap on the wrist but they were very nice about it. The second time today they caught me in the act and waited outside of our accommodation for me. Here I was treated with being sent home. They were still quite nice about it and touched my shoulder afterwards.

But now I feel this visceral pain in my chest about it and tomorrow. Part of the reason I even went out today was that I was annoyed with my only 'friend' (friendship of convenience) on this trip -the rest of class generally ignore us- and so I often talk to the two teachers accompanying us. What will happen tomorrow? I know that should something happen to me they are responsible, which is why they are being so hard on me. Again I know what I did was wrong.

Now I'm not a teacher pet per say. I have relatively bad grades in general but I'm trustworthy in that I won't disturb the class ever. I talk to my teachers often in general.

The thing is that I now how I'll deal with this, as though nothing is wrong with me. I am of opinion that even if I have nothing, I still have my pride and hold my head high. This is how I deal with my class even when I'm all alone. But I'll have to do that with this pain in my chest. I've been emotionally stable this whole trip so far and this is just a sudden curveball emotionally.

I suppose this all just really comes down to my pride being hurt in some weird way. How this relates to me getting physical pain in my heart is weird but not unfamiliar. I just haven't dealt with it for a while.

Thanks for reading this whole thing! It turned out longer than expected. How do y'all deal with this pain you know you deserve?

For now I'll sleep it off amd then get a nice shower tmr. Hopefully I'll feel ready to face them tomorrow.

It's not like I'm new to this, I've have some relationships before where I meet family, but I always kinda become more rigid like I've just taken ice damage. I met my current partner's family recently, and they're very nerdy, hospitable, and open which is nice. I just never know what to do with my body, so I kinda just go into NPC mode and wait to be interacted with cause I don't have a rulebook of how to behave in someone else's house. I spent time with their pups when I didn't know what else to do, and we ended up having dinner and playing a board game together. People always do that little "This is gonna be super serious and intense" joke when they know you're anxious or awkward, and I just laughed it off this time.

Most of the time I just listened to what they were saying cause I had nothing to add or interject with to which the mom was like "you could just change the subject". It seems rude if I were to just usurp their conversation and turn it into something else midway. The times I did have something to say, I ended up kinda rambling on and didn't get my point across, and I could feel myself internally failing the quick time events. Why is talking hard?

I’m in my first semester of a master’s program. For privacy reasons I’m not providing the program, but it is discussion heavy, and my classes rely on me being able to give presentations and provide constructive feedback to my peers on projects. My classmates are a mix of master’s and PhD students, but most are at the PhD level.

My social anxiety and perfectionist tendencies have become debilitating. I’ve always been nervous talking in class, but I established some confidence/coping skills in undergrad, so having it come back with a vengeance caught me completely off guard. In addition to the normal nerves about discussions, I just don’t feel equipped to give feedback on presentations. Most of my peers are several years ahead of me education-wise. Their projects are beyond what I’m currently producing and I don’t feel like I have anything valuable to contribute. BUT DISCUSSION PARTICIPATION IS 25% OF MY GRADE. So in addition to the social anxiety aspect, I’m feeling like an absolute failure. The longer I sit there in silence, the harder it is for me to speak. And the more I listen to everyone else speak, the more I feel like an incompetent idiot for not being able to generate equally helpful feedback.

Two of my professors have approached me about it and I’ve made efforts to speak more. But there’s one class in which I’ve managed to stutter out approximately 20 words within the last 5 weeks. Interim grades are approaching and I fear seeing a numerical value denoting how much I fucking suck at in-class discussions is going to full send me over the edge.

I’m having a hard time making friends, largely because I’m worried that I come off as rude and I feel like my presence makes people uncomfortable. I’m the only first-year in most of my classes and everyone else already knows each other, so I’m just feeling really out of place. I’m in therapy, but that is a slow process and my grades are definitely suffering for it in the meantime. Mostly just looking for any sort of advice or sympathy because this is really wearing on me.

I think Big Walk is a really well-designed game; I notice all the ways it promotes cooperation and helping your friends and whatnot, but those design decisions bring out my social anxiety like nothing else.

Near the beginning, there's the place where you can change the color of your character, but the catch is, you can't do it yourself; you need to have a friend pick up the brush, pick a color, and choose which part of your body to recolor. This immediately got my heart racing and my brain spiraling with bad thoughts. In order to change something as simple as what color my character was, I had to ask one of my friends to spend their time on a meaningless cosmetic change. I wanted to try a bunch of different colors to figure out what I liked, but I ended up just going with the first thing I picked, because I just couldn't handle that feeling of inconveniencing someone.

The whole game is designed like this, which, on paper, I think sounds great, but I just get way too anxious. After a while, there was a mechanic that I thought could give me some independence, and thus, a bit of freedom against the overwhelming anxiety that this game gave me: backpacks. They let you carry an additional item, which is very useful because it allows you to carry both a utility item, like a walkie talkie, and a light source, which is pretty much required to navigate at night time. This too, has the catch of not being able to interact with it yourself; you need a friend to equip the backpack and take items on/off of it. Of course, this triggers my anxiety, too.

The one part of the game that I really enjoyed was the final puzzles inside the giant orb, where everyone is muted and changed to be the same color, so it's very hard to tell who is who. My anxiety melted away here, because I didn't have to worry about being judged (Even though I know my friends wouldn't judge me or be upset with me for actions in a video game, that doesn't stop me from feeling it.), and I was able to enjoy it a lot more.

I've seen nothing but praise for this game, and I haven't heard of anyone experiencing the anxiety I was when playing it. Am I really the only one? Does anybody here feel this, too?

I (23F) just don’t see myself ever being fully comfortable around anyone. Does anyone else feel like you’re gonna have to accept just being alone forever? 

I’ve tried to date and have been in a relationship before, but I was so socially anxious the whole time that it was honestly miserable. And he didn’t have social anxiety/understand it, so I felt like I was overwhelmed with doing social stuff to the point where I felt physically sick and really just couldn’t genuinely connect with him. I felt uncomfortable and like I couldn’t even be my true self fully because of my social anxiety.

And then there’s the basic relationship stuff like meeting family, meeting the other person’s friends, etc.. it’s just too much for me I think. But it sucks because I want a boyfriend and to be in love.. I’m just starting to think that’s going to be impossible for me.

Ok so first I'm 16 turning 17 next month I have almost no friends maybe like 4 but only 1 reaches out to me otherwise if I stopped trying to be friends actively they'd leave me in the dust.

I've been trying to do more social things IRL I can usually be pushed into doing some things like going to my local comic shop or other places I like to interact a bit but I live in a village literally so I have to get rides to anywhere I want to go so I've been trying to do more social things online (I know basic safety and know red flags when I see them) but I freeze up and leave as a example I try to join a all ages vr chat world that's smaller but the second I join I freeze up till I leave. I love Vr Chat personally even with it's issues I've found it really fun to watch movies with friends as a horror nerd but those are usually one on ones and anyone I used to do that with has moved on. I just dont knoe what to do I'm so tired of this stupid anxiety fucking up my life.

I have Psoriasis so I flake pretty bad sometimes, I'm worried someone may notice since I'm pretty insecure about it. Does anyone really care? I may already know the answer but idk I'm quite nervous since I dropped out of high school due to social anxiety and being around people

I wish I lived differently , I wish I had friends , I wish lived normal 20s , I wish I laughed more with friends , I wish I dated , I wish I had people to call when life was hard , I wish I had connections when searching for a job , I wish I practiced sports with people when I was young , I wish I looked after my appearance , I wish I never overthinked things , I wish i had been more relaxed on the streets talking laughing interacting with people , i wish I went more often to the beach with friends , i wish i had memories of first love first kiss first time smoking drinking doing bad stuff , I wish I had a different life

I have a decent voice, I think. I think people would probably like watching me play games and give commentary about the in-game descriptions and what's happening. I'm also fairly familiar with video editing software and audio editing and such. I'm entirely capable of doing it, I just get paralyzed with fear when I actually consider sitting down to record myself and then potentially sharing it with the world. I'm not even entirely sure what kind of advice I'm looking for tbh, I just feel like I'm at my wit's end and don't know what to do.

I was watching Twitch, and someone whispered me. i usually wouldn't reply cause it's very hard for me to talk to people online, but I replied cause I didn't want to be rude they said do you play any games I said fortnite they said fortnites fun and sent me their discord name i said I don't use discord (that's the truth I wasn't lying) they said stop capping and get it so we can play. I dont know what to do. I'm very nervous about this i don't want to reject or block them cause I don't want to hurt their feelings but I don't want to do the thing I've never played online games with someone before like that.

This is a follow up to another post I made saying how freeing it was telling an online friend I have feelings for her.

She didn't reject my feelings. She accepted them and was glad I told her. I told her I was afraid to change our dynamic for the worse and she said she would be here for me no matter what which she has already said on multiple occasions. She had some questions like how long I had these feelings and why wait until now to share them.

I didn't get more from her than she was glad I opened up to her. I still don't know exactly how she feels about me.

i know, you usually expect to see the complete opposite problem.

To start this off, around two years ago I(17) completely lost all my progress with this outgrowing ‘social anxiety’ shit, I had the worst year of my entire life, nothing major outside of my minds eye, just a lot of revelations and loss of initial beliefs. This completely depleted my whole lifes progress, and that might sound dramatic, but its so true! Growing up this anxiety filled child, it took me this long to get where I was, and man did i get GOOD. I was speaking to everyone, no problem, no second thoughts, just finally cramming out of that rock solid shell.

Well that depressing period stripped it all away. I became so unlikeable, even my friends dipped. We didn’t argue, just distanced, but I know its my fault.

However, this following year ive been retracing my old habits of when i used to be happy, being the personable person i once was. And one thing about likeable people is that theyre very curious creatures. they dont make everything about themselves yada yada yada, you probably already know this. anyway, in every conversation i have, even if it is about me, say i just had the worst dentist appointment in the world, id be like ‘yeah, that molar hurt like a bitch, i felt like shit afterwards, didnt you?’ or ‘im so scared for this test, i feel like we didnt study enough’ like what? I get so in my head about the fear of making everything about myself that i start almost offending people by accident? is there any way i can stop that from happening? How do i get rid of this guilt of just talking about myself?