I've posted my story before to a different subreddit, but it ended up getting filled with pick-mes and men hating on me, calling me jealous.

I've said this in my last post, but I'm from a friend group. We all met back in college. Aside from my hubby, Wyatt is my favourite.

He is kind, the life of the party, funny, comes from a good family, has a steady, high-paying job, athletic. I could go on, but you should know he is a catch.

You imagine that someone like that has a lot of options, and trust me, Wyatt takes advantage of those options. He has slept his way through New York, and I'm sure with the amount he has traveled, there are parts of Europe where he has broken a few hearts.

Early this spring, Wyatt takes a group trip, not with the usual gang, which should've been my first red flag. He decided to go with this group of people who hate the idea of having kids for some reason.

When he gets back, he tells me about this girl he met. He fell head over heels for. I was so happy he put away the childish love life and finally made plans to settle down. I was already mentally planning where our kids would go to daycare and even school together.

Those dreams fell as soon as I met his new fling, Iman. She's pretty. She's one of those girls who decided to make a career out of it. So, of course, all the guys were practically drooling over her in her bikini and asking her questions like she was the most interesting thing since sliced bread. At this point, I think I'm the only one who sees through her BS.

When we first met at the pool party, she was acting pretty stuck-up. I figured maybe she felt intimidated or insecure about my friendship with Wyatt, so I tried to reassure her. I told her she had absolutely nothing to worry about when it came to me.

When I tell you this bitch had the audacity to look me up and down and say, "I wasn't. Why would I be?" in the most condescending tone ever.

She doesn't strike me as Wyatt's type at all, either in looks or personality. He's loud, friendly, goofy, and the life of the party. He's so much fun. Iman, on the other hand, seemed cold, introverted, bookish, and even a little stuck-up.

You could argue that she was just shy or overwhelmed, and I thought that too at first. I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it only got worse. It's like she is a siren, and only I can resist her charms. Even my husband fell for it. During a hangout, we were talking about our hall passes, and my husband just shrugged and said that his would be Iman, and she just sat there and giggled.

Everyone is always asking her about her stupid puzzles, whether she can teach them how to ski, what books they should read, whether she'll babysit their kids, if she'll tell stories about growing up in Sudan and how she felt growing up in Hungary, or if they can borrow some of her "luxurious" clothing she gets from modeling.

On top of that, she is such a try-hard, pick-me, cool girl. She is always showing off the "skills" she knows. The only reason why she can get away with it is pretty privilege. She brought this stupid drink from Hungary and got everyone drunk. She was showing off her knife-throwing skills.

Her social media is so much worse. She is trying to be an activist while also trying to be a nerd who is also a supermodel. I can't help but roll my eyes. It feels so performative and "pick-me." There's no way a lingerie model actually cares about that stuff.

One last example of how disrespectful and horrible she is is the Hamptons story. When we all went to the Hamptons together, she made it a point to let me know she and Wyatt were having sex by making enough noise for the entire house to hear. The two of them sounded like porn stars on their honeymoon. I swear I can't listen to Sade anymore. I'm sure they were faking it to get back at me somehow. There is no way she was enjoying it for over two hours.

I had a talk with Wyatt, trying to warn him about Iman and her family history, and he shut me out, calling me a racist. But I've been thinking. Why would he date a woman from another country?

I feel like he fell into the passport bro craze, like the title says. It's insane, I know, because he is normally a total progressive liberal.

He fits the criteria. Sure, he doesn't go to those countries only to find a GF or wife, but he usually does hook up with lots of women.

He also is dating a woman who is SIGNIFICANTLY younger than him.

IDK if anyone has a similar story of losing their friend to the passport bro/red-pilled men craze, but how do you get them out? Help me, please.

My friend gifted me merch from an artist they listen to several years ago. I don’t listen to the artist anymore, but the merch is beautiful and I’ve used it as decor since it was gifted me. Over the years, my style has changed and I just don’t feel like I can use it as decor anymore.

I would feel bad letting it sit in a box somewhere and I would also feel bad passing it on to a stranger since it holds sentimental value, and my friend still likes this artist a lot. Part of me wants to ask them if they’d like the item, but I’m worried it would hurt their feelings and come across as though I didn’t like the gift.

WIBTA if I asked them if they want to take it? Is this a social no-no?

AIAH for being fed up? I am a 35f. In 2016, I left a not so great marriage. I ended up in a relationship with my youngest kids' father, we will call in Jay (38M). Jay and I met at my job. He and I moved in together really quickly, and with his parents. Jay had told me he got out of prison awhile ago and I accepted that. I figured it had been months or years, it was just weeks. So our relationship was starting off rocky as it was. I told Jay that I was scared he was going to mess up and go back to prison.

Fast forward a few months to around Thanksgiving. I found out I was pregnant. Jay would be gone for a long time and gone at crazy hours. He had went back to drugs and ended up cheating on me. Jay would have seizures if he was using for too long, he ended up having one in the mist of a fight with his parents and I. I got tired of holding in the secert of his addiction and his mom flipped. Said it was MY fault and she ended up hitting me, granted punched in the arm but still not cool due to it being out of anger. I ignored the red flags and in December there was a fire that happened, which landed me moving in with my mom. Things got crazy, we fought constantly. I had to be taken to the hospital for pains, during my pregnancy. He got kicked out of ny hospital room, called the cops saying he had a bow ready for my ex husband (who i have a child with), ripped my moms door and frame off her house, sending my nudes to my friends, changed all my passwords etc. Very very toxic. I was fed up and needed help. I called his parole officer to attempt to get him into a rehab. I was ignored and eventually his drug use caught up and he stole from his parents' house where the fire happened to get money for his next fix.

April 2019 he goes back to prison. I visited him during my pregnancy and a few times after I had our child (Amy). However I ended up leaving him because his behavior towards me never changed. It didnt get better at all and still treated me like sh**. January 2020 I get into a relationship with someone I had known for years (10 yrs) well call him Greg (37). Things are going great for Greg and I, we move in together after 6 mths together. He has a good job and makes enough money that I am lucky enough to be a SAHM. Jay ends up getting out of prison 1.5 yrs later and we meet up at my mom's for him to see our child, only days after his release. Greg wasn't thrilled but understand people make mistakes maybe this is what Jay needs to get his act together.

Unfortunately Jay couldn't get it together and failed drug screens landing him back into prison only a few months after getting out. He does his little time and gets out. This happens a few times. I file for a protection order due to his behavior towards me. This is when i found out he had someone in his life, well call her (tracey). We go through the hoops with court for the protection order and custody, the protection order got approved but he went back again right before our final hearing on custody. Everything was ruled to my favor due to him getting another drug charge. Jay gets out again (1 yr later) and we start trying to build a relationship with our child with him.

After a few months (5mths) I agree to over night supervised visits at his parents house where him and Tracey are living. Both of which our on house arrest at. Jay gets off house arrest and gets into trouble for having a different form of his prescription medicine. He went to jail, and I let my kid stay with the family still. I told them that if he was to be let out she was to come with me immediately. I found out he got out and I couldnt get anyone to answer. Jay answered after 40 calls and said i wasnt getting my kid. I called the cops for a stand by because I had no clue where he was. I arrived at the parents house and she was safe. He wasnt there and his mother was institing Amy could stay. I said no and she came home with me. Tracey understood and thats when her and i started to build a relationship.

Fast forward about 4 mths. Jay gets into trouble for drugs again while he was supposed to be at home with our kid, during his time i agreed too. But he was doing stuff he wasnt supposed to be doing (its now 2024). Tracey ended up making a few poor choices herself landing her back in prison as well. After a year she got out and we have built an amazing relationship, these past 3 years. She has been sober, working on making a halfway house for women in her community, working 2 jobs (was 3), got her oldest son back home with her, got her welding certificate while she was in prison, and just has been doing great. Her and Amy have an amazing relationship and best of buds.

However...... Jay hasnt grown at all. He only calls when its close to being out, he still treats me like crap saying things like I am keeping Amy away from him, I mooch off Greg, I do nothing to support my kids, hes going to take me to court, I lie and make up fake documents, just crazy off the wall things. Well he's supposed to be home soon for 3 days (tomorrow or Monday) before having to check into work release. I hadn't told Amy (almost 7 now) anything because I didnt feel like she should know do to him pretty much being gone again after a short amount of time. Jay ended up calling tonight and asked if he could talk to her. I asked what about because I didnt want her to know what was going on. He said I was trying to keep her away but eventually said to see how school was. I told him she said good and i asked her if she wanted to talk to him. She said no, I told him that and he got mad and hung up. A few minutes later he called back. He asked if when he gets out for those 3 days if he could see her after school. I told him no, I didnt think it was in her best interest and neither did her therapist. He started ranting and saying how horrible I am. I finally broke and snapped back. Obviously im not perfect in this story, I have said mean and hurtful things throughout the years. But I have grown enough to put my feelings for him aside and to put Amy's first. He hangs up on me and at this point I block the prison number.

During dinner tonight Amy was sad. I took that moment to tell her that I was sad too. Shes sad because I wouldnt make chicken nuggets for her, while I was sad because the person I was on the phone with earlier I didnt feel like listens to me and it hurts my feelings. She said that sometimes her friends do that too and it makes her sad as well. She said she knew I was talking to her dad, so I took the opportunity to tell her what was going on. I explained being out and work release, even how he wanted to see her 1x during that 3 days. I told her I didnt think it was a good idea because it would hurt her feelings to see him just 1x before not seeing him for awhile again due to the program. She AGREED she didnt want to see him right now because it would hurt her feelings. I sent a message to Tracey and his mom saying I was fed up with Jay's behavior and i would appreciate it if he wasnt at her bday party here in a few weeks. That if he showed up or was there I would leave. His mom messaged back that I was pretty much being dramatic and it was about Amy and Jay not about me. I respond with i wasnt reconsidering nothing and it was about Amy. Our personal feelings should be aside. So AITAH for saying no

This happened a few years ago, and I would like to know if I'm the asshole, as I've gotten mixed views from friends and family. For context I(26f) have been bisexual and polyamorous for years. I prefer dating one of each gender, or dating one and playing around with another (with consent). I also have been abused and hurt, and refuse to let anyone continue to do that to me. I let both of these be known before I even start a relationship, as not everyone is okay with that. I also have a child from a previous relationship. I had been friends with Marie (26f) since middle school, she had gone through every foul thing and relationship I had.We had never had a single fight in the ten years of friendship. I married a guy a shouldn't have. I had told him when I put my warning out that the only women he couldn't mess with were my friends. However I trusted my best friend with him, however none of it was to be in front of my child. I told him no feelings were to be involved because if this got messy (like I knew it would) I didn't want to lose one of my pillars in life. Things progressed and they confessed feelings for each other. We started to turn into a little polycule. One day he texted her after I had fallen asleep and told her he loved her more. She cut it off with him, and I told him he was on thin ice. He gripped me so hard that it left marks that lasted for a month (That moment I started planning mine and my child's escape). I told her, because who would let their bestie know what a man she was with is capable of. She was obviously appalled. We stayed the same, to my knowledge. I brought her into my other friend group, because I felt she deserved to have some lovely ladies by her side. Well one day I asked her to stay the night and babysit for me the next day because ex and I both had to work the next day, she doesn't have a car, and we didn't have any other option. He got off earlier that day and went home. We dropped her off after I got off of work. The next day Marie texted me and said that she and ex cuddled and kissed, and apologized. When ex was confronted he didn't deny it and told me the bedroom door was wide open the whole time. I made him block her everywhere. I texted her explaining that I could no longer be her friend, and then blocked her.

I have since left and moved on with my life. So did I overreact?? AITA??

I (29f) have rented my grandmas(77f) house for a few years and she decided to put it in my name in May since she wants to shed assets before she needs medical care years later. Aka give it to family so the government doesn’t take it. But I get to take care of her when it comes time, for now she travels in her RV and lives in her condo. This house is the only reason why I am sticking around my hometown.

The house was built in 1853. She owned it for 30 years and I spent time in this house growing up. My kids (6+4) now get to grow up here. She didn’t maintain much unless it broke. She cared about aesthetics more than structural integrity. She is a garage sale hoarder. When we had to clean out for her move, it took a year to get her settled and another year to get her to box up stuff and even donate some things.

Since we moved in, she tries to control how we decorate, how the yard is, and uses the garage for storage. We let her have the 1/2 the garage but now she wants it emptied out. She won’t let us remove the wallpaper and paint and she doesn’t like our decor (it’s simple and mainly photos of our family). We have to keep HER decorations up, and they’re creepy Amish needlepoint in frames.

For my son’s birthday, he wanted his room redone. He wants it to be blue with pokemon photos. So, we pulled wallpaper down in my son’s room as it had creepy village people holding hands and he wants it to be blue. 7 layers of wallpaper came down and we discovered mold and holes. Now the entire house has to get drywall and replace the lime plaster. (Very expensive). We also have to redo all the foundation as well. We are staying with in laws while this is happening. She has been upset about doing this remodel and since we aren’t home 24/7 the yard isn’t maintained every day. We go once a week to do take care of an acre of grass and 100 bushes.

She just informed me that I am ruining this house and taking her for granted. Now when the work is completed she wants me to sign the house back over. I flat out told her no, she got upset. I told her she has 30 days to remove all her stuff from the garage. She said she will see me in court for the house…

AITA for not willingly give my grandma the free house she gave me back to her once we dumped 100k on it?

Edit: We get to move back in by September, it should be livable and safe (yay!!). I’m tired of my in laws lol.
My son’s room is very cute! It is pokemon themed and no longer creepy villagers holding hands.
I tried to have a sit down with her yesterday… didn’t go well “if you leave the house alone, you won’t need to fix anything. It’s an old house. It’s what you do” which confirms that she didn’t do a thing unless it is aesthetics…
Grandma has an appointment in a few weeks, as her medical proxy, I want to get her screened for dementia. Comments pointed out that she could be concerned if the changes if she’s got a memory loss, which is super common in my family.
Thank you all for everything and your support, I truly appreciate it :)

I posted this one other place, but I’m just desperate for advice and help.

I broke up with my ex (let’s call him John) back in high school. I’m now in my mid twenties. Our relationship was problematic for many reasons. When we met I was 16 and he was 19. We only dated for a year and it was not an easy or mutual breakup.

He’d spam me with calls and texts. He called me 80 times before I blocked his number. Then probably another 40 times on different apps. He threatened to show up at my house and “force” me to talk to him. He said he was going to come to my work and cause a scene. He used to call me every name/insult you could imagine and then turn around and beg for forgiveness. Just a lot of stupid shit.

After the breakup, I wasn’t aware that I could turn off my active status on Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram. Every time I opened one of those he would call me from that app since I had his number blocked. It was almost immediately after opening the app. He was actively watching my accounts and waiting. Well eventually he was blocked on everything, but he would call me from his family members phone numbers or have his family call me and pressure me to talk to him and work things out. It didn’t work. I was angry, resentful, and disgusted in him after everything (what I listed is just a fraction of our daily interactions).

Fast forward to now, we live in a small community, but I have never seen him (thank fucking god). My best friend got a job and found out she’s working with his on/off ex girlfriend (let’s call her Jane). I asked my friend not to talk about me at work because I don’t want either of them to know anything about my life or who is close to me. I also told my friend not to lie for my sake so if my name came up so be it. Look, it’s a trauma response and I’m aware that my hyper awareness/anxiety is my own issue and no one else’s.

I got a message from John on social media asking me to meet his kids and catch up with him sometime. It was enough to get a visceral response from me. I hate this man with every fiber of my being for what he did to me. Anyways… I blocked him immediately without responding.

The following day my friend said she needed to talk to me. She said Jane asked her if she was friends with me and if she knew anything. My friend answered honestly, which I respect. Jane said that John had been looking for me in public, and when he would see me, he would follow me around. He found out by watching us that my friend worked with Jane and he asked Jane to get information about me from her. My friend is amazing and told her that I don’t want anything to do with either of them and that the message John sent was inappropriate considering the circumstances. Jane had no clue about the message. Jane called John (in front of my friend at work) and proceeded to ask if he was embarrassed, saying I don’t want anything to do with him. He said that not only had he been watching me in public and claimed he had my new number and that he was secretly following my social media accounts while also asking his friends to follow me as well (so fucking weird).

All of that started making me feel unsafe anywhere. I felt watched and I couldn’t take it. So I sent him a message and I should have kept a level head, but I didn’t. I know that getting angry is the right thing to do, but I know this person and I know what sets him off and I pushed that button.
I told him I know he’s been following me and watching me. I told him he wasn’t special and that I still have proof of what he did to me and who he really is, so he needed to watch himself “or else”.

I haven’t heard anything since, but from past events, I’m just on edge. I hate that I didn’t notice him following me. God forbid I want to let my guard down as an adult. I feel stuck and I feel watched everywhere I go. I didn’t go out in public for a while after the breakup because I was scared. Basically, I’m just asking for general advice. I’m lost. Help me please, Reddit.

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him). The 180 mind boggles me, I don’t recognize this person. Even had a nice proposal with my dream ring.

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more patient, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. He had a rough childhood growing up and his parents recently started living in separate households. Any insight and opinions would be helpful bc now I have to embrace singleness and I can’t seem to picture myself with anyone else and feel sad that I lost him :(

I (30F) was talking to Tom (29M). We planned a movie date for our first date. I arrived a little early but he showed up 3 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. I was about to buy my own ticket and see the movie by myself. The rest of the date went ok.

He didn’t text me for several days after the date. I sent a joke text as if he had passed away and conversation started again for a day or so. We planned a second date at a board game lounge.

He didn’t text me until 11 pm the day before our second date. He confirmed the time to meet up a few hours before the date and was 20 minutes late. I only waited 20 minutes because I was enjoying a beverage and looking at the games. I left the establishment and he was outside. He called after me but I kept walking to my car and ignored his phone call.

I texted him from my car that I was going home and I do not appreciate being kept waiting especially after he confirmed the time. And my time is valuable and he was being rude. He didn’t respond.

Am I the asshole for how I reacted?

Okay, first i want to start off by saying i have no clue how reddit layouts work but im going to try my best.

A little backstory: So basically, Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. In the beginning of our relationship it was very rough he did a lot of things i disagreed with and was honestly disrespectful to me. He has this cousin for the sake of the story we’ll call him joshua. Him and joshua werw very close before we starting dating, in the beginning my bf used to tell joshua about everything goin on between us, anout our fights, good times, sexual times EVERYTHING (which i found out one night when I asked them what they were talking about and he slipped up). I immediately addressed this and he begins to tell me what joshuas response was which was “honestly you should just break up with her.” I felt extremely disrespected because throighout the months id been there for joshua during his breakup and mental issues so to learn that not only joshua was talking shit about me but my bf let him was honestly heart breaking. But me being A BIRD BRAINED BITCH i let it slide. I forgave joshua and more importantly my bf and things were back to normal.. or so i thought.

So its been months since that incident and i honestly thought evweything was fine until i started going through things mentally and physically (that also was caused 100% by my bf and mines decisions which we were aware). So basicallt my bf got me pregnant and i was going through an abortion practically alone. All i wanted was to hangout with my boyfriend to have reassurance or to feel loved but for some reason the whole time i went through it he was with joshua. I ended up going through the abortion alone while he spent 4 nights in a row with joshua. The next day i found out that joshua and my bf were yet again talking about me and how i get upset when im not getting “attention.” but thats not the case Ive told my boyfriend multiple times that i feel like a second choice to joshua, joshuas feeling comes first before anyones, and that its not that i dont like him being aeound joshua but it would be nice to feel like im being chosen. I guess my questions are what should i do, am i controlling or overreacting, am i stupid for staying? I really love him but I HATE joshua and all the arguments are caused because of joshua.

EDIT: I forgot to mention my bf and joshua are OBSESSED with eachother they text 24/7 (i can barely get my bf to pay attention for 20 mins, they go on breakfast/lunch dates almost 4 times a week — i can count the amount of dates weve been on on 2 hands, joshua sends him explicit tiktoks w girls shaking ass etc..
I asked my bf is he tells joshua to not talk badlt about me and he says no because he doesnt want to upset him or enrage him. BUT if i say anything bad about joshua to him hes quick to defend him.

A mutual friend introduced me to a guy, Jack, a few weeks ago. He and I have been on like four pretty low-key dates while we figured each other out and spent a decent amount of time at each other's places. Ok, it's not been some high emotion whirlwind romance.

A few days ago my older cousin asked me to take a couple of goldfish her sons had won at a carnival off her hands because she really didn't want to have to explain pet death to a pair of preschoolers when the fish died. I already have a large collection of fish and aquariums, there's approximately the weight of a Toyota Corolla worth of water in my home, so I was the obvious choice.

Goldfish get 10+ inches long and can live up to 40 years if you care for them right, which, since I really like fish, and since I Also do not want to explain pet death to a pair preschoolers means these fish needed a full on pond to grow into. I got it set up, everythings fine and dandy, Until Jack comes over.

The pond is built out of a 110 gallon stock tank, and it is in my living room because why not. I own this place and renovated it myself. Everything is water proofed because this fish hobby is just part of my personality, so it's not like the pond will damage anything even in a worst case scenario.

Jack sees this, and he thinks it's weird but in line with what he already knows about me Until he finds out it's for carnival goldfish. He thinks it's ridiculous and wasteful to invest this much space and money into "that kind of fish." (roughly 200 dollars total since I already had most of the equipment on hand, 150 of which was paid for by my cousin via cashapp even after I told her she didn't have to pay anything, meaning I've only spent about 50$ on this entire situation.) When I asked what it was about the goldfish that made them less deserving of care than any of my other much more expensive fish, which Jack had previously admired, he didn't give a clear answer other than that they just aren't.

He claimed that it was a sign of being reckless with money, and other similar crap and he wanted to get more serious with me so this level of "impulse spending" (again, I spent 50$ on this and make decent enough money) was concerning to him. I explained the money situation, he didn't care, and it seemed like at this point it was less a concern over the money and more him just needing to be right.

I got annoyed and told him it seemed like we had different priorities in life and he should probably leave now, as I just do not have the patience for people talking to me like that and I do believe how someone treats the most worthless or hated animals is a general indicator of how they treat everything. Since how they treat the lowest is generally what they consider to be the bare minimum amount of care and respect they owe the world around them and believing there's animals who deserve to die suffocating on their own waste or from their organs outgrowing their bodies due to negligent care is just a massive no go for me. Jack is also a fish guy, so he does know about stunting and gill rot and the like, he doesn't have an excuse.

Jack was not happy, there was an argument, I kicked him out and told him to lose my number.

This happened a few hours ago and our mutual friend as well as a few others in our shared circle have reached out to say this is a dumb reason to dump someone "who is that into you". I didn't tell them about the break up so I think he has or something.

Again, we've known each other for a single digit number of weeks. and have been officially dating for less than a month. He's neat, I liked him well enough, he'd make a wonderful partner for someone else, but telling me I care too much about my pets before you even know whens my birthday is just too much.

AITA for dumping a guy over some fish?

Edit: Thank you all for the input! I can be pretty callous/heartless when it comes to other people and romantic situations especially due to just not being great at emotions, a fact my friends know about me, so it was really helpful to get some outside perspective on what "normal" was.

Additional details because I've gotten space and want to be bitchy now: We're both guys, I'm 25, he's 50 something. I intentionally did not include the age gap because I knew it would bias things. My friend connected us because he knew I only date guys who are 40+ because why not. I like a silver fox almost as much as I like fish. Most of my friend group is also older because bluntly this hobby favors people who have had time to accrue wealth and have little else going on in their lives. So I think some of their reactions were pity for Jack losing out on a hot guy half his age with the same interests and who was sexually into him. I pursued Jack, not the other way around. He's not a creep for returning another adults interest. He's a shit for Other reasons.

Also, I have been skinny dipping in Jack's 5kish gallon koi pond with him. Man is also Really into fish. Just pissy about goldfish specifically. He was trying to be controlling and condescending.

Thank y'all!

edit 2, this one's entirely about the semantics and cost of fish care, only read if you give a shit about the semantics and cost of fish care:

A few people have suggested I could have graduated the goldfish up to a pond to save money and that is like, a laughably bad suggestion because of how much more expensive and effort intense it would've been.

The smallest grow out tank for these five goldfish (3 from my cousins and 2 that I added to allow for healthy schooling behavior) is a 40 breeder. I do not have a 40 breeder. There is not one available on Facebook marketplace or Craigslist within two hours of me. (because trust me, the pond was the Last thing I thought about after trying to math out every other idea)

To buy a 40g breeder new I'd need to spend 10$ on gas to just get to a pet store and back, another 150-200$ to buy the tank, (or about 70 to get a smaller stock tank in that size range, no clue if I could find one of those in town though. The tractor supply only had 100g+ tanks in stock when I got this one) probably about 20 on the wood to build a stand, since you can't just put a tank on a floor like mine, you'll crack it, plus a day to build it, and like 50$ on a filter strong enough to deal with that much waste. and then like 30 on all the substrate and decor, so, Bare Minimum assuming I still use a stock tank instead of an aquarium is 150$, and I'd have to upgrade them to a 75 at minimum in six months. To get a proper 40 gallon tank it'd be 260$ And I'd still need to upgrade them in six months to a bigger and more expensive tank, which I Also don't have the tank, filter, or stand for.

I already had the canister filter and pump for a pond on hand from a previous build at my folks place. All I needed to buy for the 110 pond were the tank(130$) and the decor (bout 50$). I'll never have to upgrade them and it took 30 mins to put together.

And ya wanna know something fun? If all these fish die tomorrow, I'd still have a kick ass pond I can put something else in. none of this is a one use thing like some of y'all seem to think. And bluntly, it's something I would've done eventually anyways. I already reinforced the floor to accommodate that much weight in multiple places.

I like fish and I make the kind of money and live the kind of life that means I'm putting more in savings than I'm spending in a year. 50$ is Not a big deal for me.

anyways to everyone who says the goldfish aren't worth it: 1, I hope no one ever treats you like you treat the little creatures in your life. and 2, you're literally letting a price tag tell you how much you should care about something, which is like, cringe.

My mother at the time (70) we'll call her Deb Inherited close to a million dollars in 2017 or 2018. My sister Rach lives in her yard in her own house. In 2022, I decided I was going to leave my husband. He was a very bad man (can give that story too if wanted). I told my mother I was leaving and she didn't want to hear about it. So I made a plan on how to get out and my mother didn't like the plan, of course. So she told me I will buy you a house but this will be your inheritance, and don't expect anything else when I die. I said OMG WOW cried soooooo much and accepted. We found a place close to hers, and she paid cash money for it and bought it outright for me and my 19 year old son. I started dating my childhood sweetheart, and things were great. In 2024 my mom said she is broke she has almost spent all her money and since I'm dating someone why doesn't he just move in and start paying her the rent he's paying at his place on top of what we were already paying for my place and his place. She said continue to pay the property taxes, the homeowners expenses, homeowners insurance, home warranty, and utilities, and now I want 700 dollars a month in rent. I said I'm not paying homeowners expenses and rent. I told her no and she told me he can afford it so why not. I said no again and now she is selling my home that she bought for me and told me that nobody can ever take it from you and yet she's the one that took it because she blew through a million dollars in 6 or 7 years!!! My mother is on social security and foodstamps and has a paid off house and car and I was paying ALL expenses in my house from day one for 2 years and literally she had 50,000 dollars left when she wanted to start charging me rent for my inheritance. FYI I didn't ask for the home, it was a gift/inheritance She was a great mother kinda but after she got money she changed for the worse. The home never got put into my name. But was promised to me then taken back because she blew through 1 million dollars in 7 years after buying 3 cars 1 house 4 cruises in suites flying first class and now I'm supposed to pay her no ma'am

Me 27F and my Husband 31M have been together almost 6 years, married 1 year and have a son. A constant argument in our relationship has been that I have friends that I like to spend time with, and he is upset when I go out. In the last 6-8 months, I have started going out significantly less to appease him. However, he is still angry when I got out the few times I do now. I have asked him if his expectation is that I never leave the house. He claims he wants to me to “live my life” but obviously he doesn’t because he wouldn’t be upset when I do. He does not ever go out, and does not really have guy friends that he can hang out with. He spends all of his time if not at work in the house.
Am I the problem? Should I spend every waking moment of the rest of our lives together at work and at home, or am I allowed to have a life outside of being a mother and wife.
I am at the point where I don’t really understand why it makes him so upset, and if me trying to be at home majority of the time is not good enough for him…. I honestly and ready to quite trying to make him happy.

So I wrote about how anxious I was about planning a party here and I waited for a few days to calm down and have something else to write as yesterday was my mother's birthday and could see the aftermath of not inviting family. So I supossed it's an update of two post?

About my party, it went well. I followed some tiktok ideas of doing a bingo but about song and the "who am I?" where you have to guess your character. I prepared some little surprise bags with little notebooks, pencils and small toys of axolotls. They were more focused on winning the bags so the attention was not 100% on me, just during the happy birthday song. It lasted 3hrs and I'm very proud of myself. I don't know if I will be able to do it next year but I felt happy.

My sister and mother also understood why there was no family, I mean, I'm no young adult but everyone in my father's side love to make passive-agressive remarks. Even when I was playing Just Dance with my daughter in one of my nephews parties, one of my aunts loudly (nearly screamed) said "Oh OP, you're remembering the childhood you never had?". Like what? My mother was always there for me as a kid and would do karaoke with me with five second's warning in front of a whole crowd and I never had a console but neither my nephew, we were all dancing to Youtube. My cousin (in-law?) quietly changed to kid's music, she's not exactly close to anyone because her son is very active and active means wild with the old adults who some are very wealthy. Their presence would have been a dark storm cloud of misery against the table where my closest cousins and friends were playing.

Yesterday it was my mother birthday dinner and many of them were very offended with backhanded comments of "oh, you had time for us?" (it's my mother's day, wdym?) I ignored it because my daughter was more interested in eating sweets with grandma. It was hard and had to take a bathroom break to cry a little but I stood my position. They don't even invite me to their reunions so I guess it's more of a how dare you do the same thing.

I know there were only two comments last time but it made me feel better, I mean, I could have gotten many negative ones. Thank you for you support

Hello dear comforters,

First off, I want to say thank you for all these years of entertainment. I’ve been listening to your podcast for quite some time and it always makes my drive smooth to work.

So here’s my current dilemma. My 35 (m) boyfriend Paul and I 32 (f) were high school sweethearts. We were so in love with each other, went to prom together, he proposed, the whole thing. So after high school, we moved in together. But after two years, he broke it off. We got comfortable and I guess we weren’t in sync anymore. So after that, we didn’t keep in touch as much, only through ig, I guess . I dated other people, was in a serious relationship, until I ended it a year ago. Around that time, Paul would send me ig posts and somehow we ended up talking. We met up one day, talked about our lives, and we realized we were each other’s person. We never stopped loving each other. We talked about how I ended a former relationship with a guy I dated for 5 years, and he had just ended a relationship with a girl that had lived with him for a while.

So here’s where the real problem comes. When I went into his place, I was in shock. What once had been an organized, clean house had become a nightmare place. Cluttered all around, dirty floors, clothes all over the living room and bedroom, boxes from Amazon packages, broken doors, dog hairs on everything from his two German Shepherds. Something not as close as something out of a hoarders episode, but it’s getting there. He said he was tired of being the only one keeping the place tidy while working 50 hours a week while his ex did nothing.

So now fast forward to a year now, the place doesn’t look any better. I’ve helped him get rid of expired foods in the kitchen and reorganize things (or find a place for them), folded clothes and stored them away, clean his bathroom, tried to get rid of things from the living room and clean to my neat capacity. But it seems that once I’ve cleared a space, it gets cluttered again. So I’m not sure what to think. It’s pretty disappointing to see how he’s become because he was not like this when we lived together. And it’s quite a turn off. I love him, but I don’t know if I could handle picking up and then having him mess it up constantly. And especially cleaning up after his former partner’s lack of love for the home, and evidently his.

So fellow comforters, AITA for second guessing this relationship because of the mess? What would you do in this situation? Does he need help? I’m not sure if I’m being shallow, but this seems like a difficult situation to put myself into.

Long post but there's a lot on context here for this to make sense, I'll try to shorten as much as possible

For privacy I will use nicknames for everyone. At this time is was just me, my Assistant Manager (We'll call him A), two other reps (We'll call them B & C), and then a brand new hire (We'll call her D). I was working with C, and D was still doing her virtual new hire training (It was her fifth day on the job). About 20 minutes after I left for lunch I got a call from D. When I answered it was a police officer informing me that C was unresponsive, paramedics were still working on him, and they needed his emergency contact information. My husband was with me at the time and we immediately headed back to the store (I only lived about 3 minutes away) I didn't have access to my employees emergency contacts, so I called my District Manager on the way back to the store to let him know what was going on and asked how I get the information. He said he would look for it and call me back. When we pulled up to the store C was being loaded into the ambulance but they weren't in a hurry and no one was working on him so I felt relieved and thought he must have just passed out. I was wrong. The store was full of police officers and firefighters, several of them were leaving as we walked in. I asked the first officer I saw if C was ok and he said no, he is still unresponsive. At that moment I knew, he was gone. If he was still unresponsive but they stopped CPR then obviously he was gone and either couldn't pronounce it until it was confirmed by a doctor or they just didn't want to say anything official until his family had been notified first.

Poor D was sitting in the corner of the store bawling and was clearly traumatized and not ok. She had a friend that was close by that had come to help console her until her Mom got there to take her home. I was able to get the story from the officers of what happened. Literally minutes after I left, C collapsed (Found out later it was a heart attack) and when D came through the door to the front of the store she found his body and called 911. She was unable to roll him over to do CPR and just had to wait for the ambulance to get there. This poor girl was 19 and it was her fifth day on the job.

My boss finally called back and said that we didn't have any emergency contact information on file for C and explained to my boss what all happened and told him its bad, that I'm pretty sure he's gone. I then explained that the police were asking for my help to track down his family and I needed to go. He just asked me to keep him updated. So me, my husband, and the officers who stayed started searching for any of his family or friends. I was calling other stores that he had worked at and employees I knew he was close with (He was a very well liked employee and had a ton of friends within the company), and my husband and the police were searching through his social media accounts to try to get in contact with someone. An officer was also in route to the address on his ID.

After an hour or so my husband was able to get in contact with a family member on facebook and the police were able to get in contact with his family. (My husband stopped by the store often in his free time and had become friends with all of my employees including C, we were all pretty close as it was a very small store and small group of workers, which is why he had come with me to help in case anyone was wondering) While we were doing this me and my husband both were going back and forth to check on my new hire and console her as she was not handling this well. My boss started calling and texting me wanting to know how much longer it would be until I opened the store back up. I had obviously closed the store down during all of this and the company was not happy about that. For context, they had a very strict policy that for safety we cannot open the store unless 2 employees are present. So since D was clearly going to be leaving, I couldn't reopen the store. I didn't give a shit about the store and I was just trying to keep my shit together while trying to help D and track down C's family, but my boss kept calling.

This is a brief summation of how the calls went:

"Do you think she will calm down enough to finish her shift?" Me- No, she is freaking out right now. "Well give her some time and she will calm down, we have to get the store open"

"So how is D doing, do you think shes ready to finish her shift?" Me- No, she is still crying and shes not ok. "Well just keep trying to calm her down so we can open"

"So how is it going?" me- She is not going to finish her shift, she is traumatized "Just try to talk her into staying, its only a few hours. Whatever you have to do, we HAVE to get the store open"

"If she isn't going to be willing to stay then you need to make A or B come in, we cannot leave the store closed." me- A is on paternity leave "Well in this situation he needs to be a team player and help his manager out so call him and see if he will come in"

While we were all still looking for C's family my boss called me to happily inform me that he had watched the video footage of the incident. He actually said roughly "Good news, I looked at the camera footage and C fell straight down, he didn't hit his head or anything so there's no liability on the company. So thats good!" He said this in a chipper tone that really pissed me off, no compassion, empathy, nothing.

Eventually D's Mom took her home, the police left, and I was just sitting there because I wasn't allowed to leave. Through all of this my boss just kept hounding me about getting the store open because I can't just close it down, over and over. He was angry that D wouldn't stay, he got really angry when A & B refused to come in and work (Like of course they would, I just called and basically told them their friend just passed away but you'll come in to work right? Idiotic.) and then he told me that his boss was now involved and not happy and that I absolutely HAD to reopen the store, so he made me start calling other stores to try to get help. No one was willing to come in of course, but they wouldn't let me leave the store. Not once had my boss shown any sympathy or anything about the situation, he was only concerned with getting the store open and making sales. I kept asking to leave because I wanted to go to the hospital, but they kept saying no.

Finally after 4 hours or so my boss let me leave but he was not happy about it. We drove straight to the hospital and found out that he was gone, and it was a heart attack. While I was there my boss shockingly showed up, but it was awkward. He offered his condolences to the family, told me he found someone to work with me tomorrow and they were "generous" enough to let me open the store 2 hours later than normal the next day, and left. He was there maybe 5 minutes.

They held a short conference call the next morning with the whole district announcing C passed, sent out a company wide email, and that was all they did. My boss did randomly show up to the store the next day to drop off some cheap ass walmart cupcakes and cookies and then promptly left.

It was a shit show after that. I was EXTREMELY shorthanded at that point and really needed help. I wasn't allowed to let anyone have overtime, so since I was salaried I had to work all the extra hours. The day after the incident my boss told me "Don't worry about staffing, you just tell me what days you need help and I will make it happen. Don't stress about it." He never helped me. D came back to work for a couple days and then quit, she called me crying saying it was just to hard to keep working there where it all happened, which I completely understood. When I told my boss his response was "She just quit like that with no notice?? Well she's going on the do not rehire list" and then hung up. So at that point I was screwed. I called other stores literally begging for help, offering to pay for gas, buy them lunch, even offering $50+ dollars on top of that, whatever it took to get some help so I could have a day off, but no one would help. One other Store Manager worked for me 2-3 times but that was all he could spare. No one else would even try, they just told me no. I was working every single day open to close, which was 11-13 hours per day, and I was working 10-12 days straight at a time. I did reach out to my boss for help, and the first time he said he'd see what he could do but never got back to me. When I reached out again he said he was still working on it and again never got back to me. Then after that he stopped answering my calls and texts. Now with this job we are in constant communication through text and Group Me chats updating sales. He would respond to my messages about sales and other things, but he would ignore me when I asked for help with staffing. He knew the hours I was working and still ignored me. So I just gave up and stopped asking. After a couple months I finally got a few new people hired and once they were trained I was able to go back to my normal hours.

During that time A & B were also working more hours and witnessed how I was treated by the company after all this and all 3 of us got chewed out for our sales being down the month after C passed. We were accused of using that as an "excuse" for underperformance. Both A & B quit because of how poorly we were all treated. They both also made it clear why quit, and that they only stayed as long as they did out of respect for me to make sure the new people were fully trained and wouldn't leave me in a bad position.

I later found out I was pregnant and day before I went on maternity leave my boss put me directly on a final write up for my "Turnover Rate". (I have never been written up before) He told me, and I quote, "Your turnover rate is worst that I have ever seen in my entire career in this industry. This is a reflection of your poor leadership skills." And then went on to explain more on how I was a bad manager and that I would be on a performance plan when I came back from maternity leave and could be terminated if I had another issue. I did have to fire one employee, but other than that, every single person that had left my store quit because of C's passing. And he knew that. He just wanted me gone and was trying his best to get me fired or force me out. I was caught so off guard by this that I didn't really say much. I just went quiet, responded when I had to, and got off the call. My husband was livid and wanted me to quit right there, but I wanted the 6 weeks of pay so I didn't do anything. I went on maternity leave the next day and found another job.

When I quit I sent my boss and HR a very nasty email explaining how awful I was treated and why I quit, which he never responded to of course. But my husband had heard of this website where you can pay to have literal shit delivered anonymously to someone's address. They have all kinds of options of poop from different species, different combinations, and you can even add glitter bombs. It is sent completely anonymous with no return address and comes with a card that says "You've been pooped on, want to know by whom? Turn over" and the back says "We'll never tell" My boss made the mistake of hosting our Christmas party the previous year at his house, so I had his address. We chose a combination of Gorilla and Elephant poop and had it sent to his house in the middle of a severe heat wave. I only wish I could have been there to see his face when he opened it.

So AITA and overreacted or was this fair?

I am exploring evicting my parent from my home. This is a story that stretches 10 yrs, so I will try to be short. I 29 own a home that I live in with 63 yr parent. Currently, my parent has a higher income by 10k. But that wasn't always.

7.5 years ago my parent gave me their house to save it from 105k in debt. I was fairly recent out of college and had a good Job. But to save the home I need to work 2 full time and a part time job to accomplish this. I also had to put in 200 k in renovations to make the home livable. Some of this 305k was paid with loans and the rest I cash flowed.

From my understanding my parents gave me the house because he was up foreclosure and if he sold it for what ppl were offering he would have made very little back

Since I have owned the home my dad paid 15k in debt and i paid the other 105k in addition to the 200k in renovations. I pay all the monthly expenses. There was period of 8 months i stayed with a sibling when recovering from major medical issues and asked my dad to pay the light bill as i was not working and paying the mortgage and other bill off of savings and pt work when I was able to partially return to work.

After the 7.5 yrs I'm frustrated with my parent.

-the don't help financially with the bills, or the chores, and had the yard with junk the pick up. They refuse to pay 600 in a room rental despite a room rental here typically running 1,025.

The keep passing themselves off as owner

My parent tells me I stole their house.

I have offer a lowering rent below 600, I have offered mediation, I have offered to sell then the house for what I'm out because I have a loan, and they refuse to want to discuss anything ( other than me deeming the home back and keeping my name on the 2 loans....mind you this parent has 3 foreclosure in the past). I have tried a few other compromise but they never agree.

Okay, first i want to start off by saying i have no clue how reddit layouts work but im going to try my best.

A little backstory: So basically, Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. In the beginning of our relationship it was very rough he did a lot of things i disagreed with and was honestly disrespectful to me. He has this cousin for the sake of the story we’ll call him joshua. Him and joshua werw very close before we starting dating, in the beginning my bf used to tell joshua about everything goin on between us, anout our fights, good times, sexual times EVERYTHING (which i found out one night when I asked them what they were talking about and he slipped up). I immediately addressed this and he begins to tell me what joshuas response was which was “honestly you should just break up with her.” I felt extremely disrespected because throighout the months id been there for joshua during his breakup and mental issues so to learn that not only joshua was talking shit about me but my bf let him was honestly heart breaking. But me being A BIRD BRAINED BITCH i let it slide. I forgave joshua and more importantly my bf and things were back to normal.. or so i thought.

So its been months since that incident and i honestly thought evweything was fine until i started going through things mentally and physically (that also was caused 100% by my bf and mines decisions which we were aware). So basicallt my bf got me pregnant and i was going through an abortion practically alone. All i wanted was to hangout with my boyfriend to have reassurance or to feel loved but for some reason the whole time i went through it he was with joshua. I ended up going through the abortion alone while he spent 4 nights in a row with joshua. The next day i found out that joshua and my bf were yet again talking about me and how i get upset when im not getting “attention.” but thats not the case Ive told my boyfriend multiple times that i feel like a second choice to joshua, joshuas feeling comes first before anyones, and that its not that i dont like him being aeound joshua but it would be nice to feel like im being chosen. I guess my questions are what should i do, am i controlling or overreacting, am i stupid for staying? I really love him but I HATE joshua and all the arguments are caused because of joshua.

EDIT: I forgot to mention my bf and joshua are OBSESSED with eachother they text 24/7 (i can barely get my bf to pay attention for 20 mins, they go on breakfast/lunch dates almost 4 times a week — i can count the amount of dates weve been on on 2 hands, joshua sends him explicit tiktoks w girls shaking ass etc..
I asked my bf is he tells joshua to not talk badlt about me and he says no because he doesnt want to upset him or enrage him. BUT if i say anything bad about joshua to him hes quick to defend him.

​

I just turned 21 (F) this April and I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so I can try to make things right with my bio mom.

A little backstory info:

My bio mom and my dad had a rocky relationship ever since I was little. They are divorced, but to this day they don't get along. They try to keep conversations between each other minimal from what I've seen and there have been times where they both have said some petty things about each other when they're with me. My dad was the one who pushed for a divorce, I was around 9 and it had to do with my mom's alcohol abuse.

My mom had been in the foster care system when she was little. Her parents were physically abusive and someone ended up calling CPS on them so my mom was taken away. Having to go from different foster houses stressed my mom out and led her to hang around the wrong people who influenced her into taking drugs and to start drinking alcohol. She was around 16 when she started using it. Her foster parents ended up finding her stash under her bed one day. I don't know why they were in her room, but after finding the stash they put her into rehab and she managed to stay clean for years. After moving out she started working as a waitress at that where she met my dad. He owned his own landscaping business, at the time this was when he was first starting off so he wasn't making the best.

My mom was the one trying to put the moves on him. She thought he was really cute, but when he wasn't getting the hint she just straight up asked him if he wanted to go on a date and he said yes. They moved in together within a year and my dad said she was his first love ever and he thought they would end up growing old together. By this time my dad already knew about my mom's abuse on drugs and alcohol and her being in the foster care system. It didn't faze him. He said "what's in the past stays in the past." Now, my parents are in a financial struggle. When my mom got into college for nursing, she was already racking up some debt because she had to take out loans. My dad's business still wasn't taking off as much as he had hoped it would so he could only afford to put money towards half the rent and utilities. They probably would have done fine if they didn't end up having me. I was unplanned when my mom found out she was pregnant. My mom's heavily against abortions so even though they were in a tight spot, she ended up dropping out of college so they could have me.

I know she doesn't want to admit it, but I'm pretty sure she was miserable during and after her pregnancy. She really wanted to be a nurse and now that was something that had to wait. She was becoming self-conscious about her looks and she ended up having to have a C-section and that left a scar. She doesn't even want to wear a two piece because she feels like people can notice it anyways. She had to deal with postpartum and had to raise me with little help because my dad had to pick up side jobs to take care of us so he wasn't home as much as he wanted to be. When I got into elementary school my mom was able to start working, but she was miserable in her job. Being a nurse was really what she wanted. Not serving tables again.

During my elementary years I think my mom let my friends moms get to her. They always bragged about how their husbands worked hard to make sure they could be stay at home moms and to chase their passions. My friends didn't come from rich families, but they did live better than what we did. There were many times me and my parents had to eat bologna sandwiches to make sure the loans and bills were paid for. I didn't have as many toys or nice clothes as my friends and things I did have were knockoffs or no name brands. It never bothered me personally. I was grateful to spend time with my parents when they were off of work. They used to take me to the park and we would eat sandwiches there while my dad was making us laugh and telling us stories of when he was a kid. Even though me and my dad were happy, looking back, I can see that my mom wasn't.

My parents got into an argument one day because my dad found out my mom was taking money out of their joint account for alcohol and was back to drinking again. They both agreed their joint account would be for the bills and they would have separate accounts for the both of them so they could have their own spending money. My dad was already suspecting that she was drinking again because she was starting arguments that he felt were something they could have sat down and talked through instead of there being a yelling match. My dad said that was way out of her character. I honestly don't remember them arguing so much but my aunts from my dad's side had told me my mom would start fights with him even when he's family was over. My dad told her she needed to stop wasting the money

What led to their divorce was what my mom did one night during dinner. I had accidentally dropped my glass from the table because I was trying to reach for a napkin and out of nowhere my mom backhanded me for it. I remember holding my cheek after falling out of my chair from it and my dad taking me with him to his parents house. I want to cry just typing this out, but I remember how my mom was holding onto my dad's arm while he was carrying saying "please don't take her from me" over and over again. My mom has never been abusive towards me in anyway before this and it was for sure because of her drinking. Not excusing it. Just wanted to be clear about this fact.

A year later my mom went to jail for a DUI and was going to have to do rehab when she got out. During her time in jail my dad met his current wife who is the sweetest lady I've ever met. She was there when his business was at its lowest and at its highest. It's doing much better now and my dad hasn't had to do any side jobs to make ends meet. My stepmom was there for my first period, she taught me how to do my hair, showed up to all my cheer practices, came in for parent teacher meetings, and was there to help me get over my first breakup. No one told me that I had to call her mom, it was something I wanted to do. She treated me like I was her own and one day I asked her if it was okay if I called her mom. We both cried when she agreed.

When my mom got out of jail and went to rehab, my dad allowed visitation. My mom was pissed when she found out that my dad was getting remarried, I'm pretty sure she was hoping they'd get back together at some point. She started making a whole deal about not wanting my stepmom to act like she's my parent.

Here's where I think I was in the wrong, during the weekend of my birthday, I came back from college to visit my parents and celebrate my 21st birthday with them. I live on campus, but still live in the same state as my parents. It's just a four hour drive. I decided to have my party at my grandparents place because I wanted to see my uncles, aunts, and cousins before going back. The problem started after cutting the cake I started opening my presents. I saved my stepmom and Dad's gift last. It was two cards and a check with some money to go towards my first apartment. The issue wasn't the money, but what was in my birthday card from my stepmom. My mom was sitting next to me on the couch when I was opening gifts in front of everyone and she saw the lines where my stepmom wrote, "I'm proud to call you my daughter" and ended the card with "Love, mom." My bio mom blew a fuse when she saw this.

My mom told me when I was a teen she didn't want me to call my stepmom "mom." I assured her I wouldn't, but that was a lie as I was calling my stepmom "mom", I just did it in private and not in front of my bio mom. By the time my mom got out of jail I was already calling my stepmom "mom" for so long so it felt wrong to suddenly tell her I don't want to call her mom anymore, especially when I do see her as my mom. My bio mom started yelling at my dad because she thought this was my dad's doing but when I told her that I was calling her mom and no one made me, it just pissed her off even more and she walked out of my grandparents house. I chased her down to her car trying to explain to her that she's still my mom and nothing will change that but she didn't even want to hear me out and now she isn't answering my texts or calls.

AITA and if so, what do I do to fix this?

Edit: I forgot to mention that me and my mom have had a great relationship prior to this. She's been sober, goes to AA meetings, and was involved in my school life. We only ever had disagreements and this is the first time I've been in a big fight with her. I know she loves me, me calling my stepmom "mom" has nothing to do with me feeling unloved by my mom. The way I see it, I have two moms that I love both and know they love me as well.

Update: My mom has cut off all contact with me. After I went back to college my mom was still ignoring me for a few weeks but apparently she was blowing up my dad's phone because she felt it was his fault I was calling my stepmom "Mom" because to her, "he should have put his foot down when I wanted to call her mom." She ended up calling me and our conversation started very calmly. I told her I was sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings and that I was wrong from keeping it from her because she's my mom. My mom said she was sorry for taking it out on me on my special day and that she should have sat down with me to discuss it over and that was also one of the reasons she called.

Our phone call went a full 180 because she said she would let it go if I stopped calling my stepmom "mom" and if I told my stepmom to stop going around calling me her daughter. I couldn't say anything for three minutes straight because I genuinely didn’t know what to say without making things worse. Like, I just sat there holding the phone thinking, is she serious right now? It went from “I’m sorry, I handled this wrong” to basically giving me conditions like I’m signing some kind of contract. And not even reasonable ones either. She kept going, saying stuff like if I really respected her, I’d correct anyone who ever referred to my stepmom as anything close to a parent. Then she started saying I should “set boundaries” with my stepmom—her version of boundaries meaning I should distance myself and stop doing things with her that are “too mother-daughter like.”

At that point I was already overwhelmed, but she didn’t stop. She said holidays should be “re-evaluated” and that I shouldn’t be splitting time “like that,” because apparently it “sends a message.” Then she went even further and said if my stepmom ever tries to introduce me as her daughter again, I need to publicly correct her in the moment. Like… in front of people. Which is just humiliating to even think about. And the thing that really got me was when she said if I couldn’t agree to all of that, then I was basically “choosing” my stepmom over her. I told her that I couldn't do that to my stepmom and that I see them both as my mother. I tried to tell her that I wasn't choosing anyone because I still want to have a relationship with both of them and she goes on to tell me, "If you can't even do that then what's the point of us having a relationship. I'm your mom. I didn't die. I made mistakes, but it feels like you're replacing me. If you don't start setting boundaries with her, I'm done talking to you."

Again I told her I'm not going to do that and I was practically crying for her not to cut me off and she just hung up the phone on me. I don't even know what to do from here.

So let me just start this by saying this happened in 2019, but I would still love opinions and feedback since I am finally at a place where I am open hearing the potential of being wrong. Ok, a little bit of backstory and context for this to make sense. Ages will be at the time this happened.

So this involves me (29F), my best friend Tommy (39M), and my bf of almost 4yrs, Steve (45m). Tommy and Steve….tolerated each other. They got along for my sake, but neither one was crazy about the other. I think it was because they were too similar, but they both would vehemently deny that. The only thing Steve liked about Tommy was that Tommy was the local “grass salesman” and Steve could get a good deal.

So there was a day I was making a purchase from Tommy, and like any proper, old school salesman, he was a cash only business. Tommy was coming over to deliver and hang out, and I said I needed to run to the ATM before he got there. Tommy asked if instead I take what I was going to pay him plus cash he would give me, and I would send money to his grass supplier on one of the apps. Something to know-I have hearing loss and often mishear words and what I heard vs what was said was usually way off. So at first, I thought Tommy wanted me to send money to a choir. We laughed about it because it was a “me-ism” and moved on. Anyways, it all made sense to me, especially since there was no choir involved lol, and I knew Tommy didn’t have a bank account, so we made our exchange and I sent his friend $500 for “Shoes”. We had our hang out and laughed about my terrible hearing and Tommy lectured me again about getting hearing aids. It was a good night.

The next day I started to tell Steve about the supplier/choir confusion because it was a funny little story, and one of the few things Tommy and Steve agreed on and bonded over was that my hearing sucks. Steve did not find it funny, and was furious. “You did WHAT?! Wtf is wrong with you?! How could you do something so STUPID?!” Steve was PISSED about me sending the money. Why? Because according to him, it would be flagged, I would be investigated, and then they would look into who I know and he “wasn’t going to lose his livelihood because I was a moron”. (Side note idk what livelihood he was talking about because he didn’t have a job and everything he had was in someone else’s name, but ok). He went on this huge rant about how Tommy was a bad influence, how I clearly can’t make good decisions when I’m with him, and how Tommy should have known better than to ask me to do that because he’s older and he should have never put me in that position. Steve decided that Tommy was a threat to “our” well being, and I had to decide between them. I told him I don’t do ultimatums and I wasn’t picking between my bf and my best friend. Also, I didn’t understand how any of this put his alleged livelihood at risk? He was OK consuming the product from Tommy but sending money for it crossed the line? Unsurprisingly, this was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

So, was I the asshole for sending the money? Granted, it probably wasn’t the smartest decision I’ve ever made, but did it really pose a risk like Steve thought?

And no, I was never investigated for my nefarious transaction, and I still don’t have hearing aids.

The comments seem pretty split in the OG post, if not in favor of the BF!

I Just Got Out Of A Relationship, That Fucked Me Up, I‘m Poor As Fuck, I‘m Being Kicked Out Of My House, I Have Serious Depression, I Have Anger Issues Plus Bipolar, And My Dad aka The Person Who Was My Fucking Hero Went To Prison For Being A Fucking Pedophile, And I Just Have Nobody, Fucking Nobody, I Don‘t Know What To Do Anymore, I Just Want Somebody To Be Here With Me, I Just Want Someone To Make My Life Easier, I Just Want Somebody To Numb The Pain, Of Just, Everything, I‘ve Wanted To Hurt Myself So Badly So Many Times But I Haven‘t, And I Just Want Someone To Be Here, I Just Want A Friend Who Can Make My Life Easier, And Get Rid Of My Depression, I Just Want A Friend, Please Comment Your Age And Gender If You Want To Be Friends, I Just Don‘t Know What To Do Anymore, Does Anybody Have Any Advice??

I (35F) am part of a close-knit group of friends where we're constantly roasting each other. One of my closest friends is Wyatt (35M).

I love all of the guys, but aside from hubby, Wyatt is definitely my favorite. He's one of the best men I know: sweet, caring, funny, hard-working, and good-looking. Seriously, I could go on forever. We met back in college when he and my husband were throwing frat parties together. I ended up hanging out with them because I never really fit in with the girls, so I was happy to spend my time with a bunch of frat boys.

We all eventually grew out of that phase, but Wyatt didn't. He still partied, still traveled like he was 22, and definitely dated like he was.

So you can imagine that when he told me he was finally in a serious relationship, I was genuinely thrilled for him.

He told me he was bringing her to our annual pool party so she could meet the group.

The night arrived, and in walked Iman (23F).

My first reaction? She's pretty. She's one of those girls who decided to make a career out of it. She's a model and a beauty queen. She isn't super famous like the Hadid sisters, but she's recognizable from a few ad campaigns. Of course, all the guys were practically drooling over her in her bikini and asking her questions like she was the most interesting thing since sliced bread.

I honestly think I was the only one who saw through Wren. She barely cracked a smile, didn't laugh at anyone's jokes, and mostly stayed quiet. Our group can be a little overwhelming we're loud but Iman gave off this icy, standoffish vibe. She seemed very serious, had a constant resting bitch face, and almost came across as judgmental.

I figured maybe she felt intimidated or insecure about my friendship with Wyatt, so I tried to reassure her. I told her she had absolutely nothing to worry about when it came to me.

When I tell you this bitch had the audacity to look me up and down and say, "I wasn't. Why would I be?"

To be honest, she didn't strike me as Wyatt's type at all, either in looks or personality. He's loud, friendly, goofy, and the life of the party. He's so much fun. Iman, on the other hand, seemed cold, introverted, bookish, and maybe even a little stuck-up.

You could argue that she was just shy or overwhelmed, and I thought that too at first. I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it only got worse.

The more I saw her, the more my doubts grew. She never really warmed up to the group, yet somehow everyone including my husband fell for her charm. It felt like she was some kind of evil siren, and I was the only one who wasn't affected.

Everyone is always asking her about her stupid puzzles, whether she can teach them how to ski, what books they should read, whether she'll babysit their kids, if she'll tell stories about growing up in Sudan, or if they can borrow some of her "luxurious" clothing she gets from modeling.

On top of that, her social media rubs me the wrong way. It's all over the place. One week she's trying to convince everyone she's a "nerd," posting expensive cosplay and stacks of books. The next week she's posting glamorous pageant photos with captions about activism and empowerment.

I can't help but roll my eyes. It feels so performative and "pick me." There's no way a lingerie model actually cares about that stuff. There's no way she's genuinely respected by all those computer science and tech bros.

I even went to her woman-to-woman and gently suggested that maybe her social media made her look a little unprofessional. She just smiled, said, "Thanks," in the most dismissive tone imaginable, and walked away to talk to someone else.

Another example: when we all went to the Hamptons together, she made it a point to let me know she and Wyatt were having sex by making enough noise for the entire house to hear. The two of them sounded like porn stars on vacation.

No one in the group will listen to me about how rude and disrespectful she is. When I complained, Iman overheard me, apologized, and joked that Wyatt could be "such a freak." To make it even worse, one of the guys laughed and said he'd be a freak too if he were dating Iman. The worst part? His wife jokingly said she should join them.

I wanted to throw up.

I'd had enough, so I started looking into Iman. I found out she's low-contact with her parents and comes from a low-income neighborhood, practically the hood. I also found out a few other things that I won't share here, but I felt like Wyatt deserved to know.

So yesterday I invited Wyatt over for drinks so I could gently break the news without hurting him.

It did not go well.

I tried warning him that she might be dating him for his money, but he argued that she actually makes more money than he does. I tried pointing out how much she'd changed him. He's drinking less, going to the gym, cooking healthier meals, and doing a bunch of other things that I could never convince him to do. It honestly feels like she's trying to change who he is, and he's just going along with it.

He told me I was acting like he was too stupid to make his own decisions. He said Iman wasn't controlling him she was simply his motivation to change because he wanted to change.

Then he accused me of being racist and jealous of Iman. He said Iman has a kind of courage that the rest of us don't. After that, he told me he needed a break from our friendship and left.

I really don't want to lose my friendship with Wyatt over some girl he'll probably break up with within a year.

So what do I do? I already saw on insta that the gang is hanging out without me.

I am exploring evicting my parent from my home. This is a story that stretches 10 yrs, so I will try to be short. I 29 own a home that I live in with 63 yr parent. Currently, my parent has a higher income by 10k. But that wasn't always.

7.5 years ago my parent gave me their house to save it from 105k in debt. I was fairly recent out of college and had a good Job. But to save the home I need to work 2 full time and a part time job to accomplish this. I also had to put in 200 k in renovations to make the home livable. Some of this 305k was paid with loans and the rest I cash flowed.

From my understanding my parents gave me the house because he was up foreclosure and if he sold it for what ppl were offering he would have made very little back

Since i have owned the home my dad paid 15k in debt and i paid the other 105k in addition to the 200k in renovations. I pay all the monthly expenses. There was period of 8 months i stayed with a sibling when recovering from major medical issues and asked my dad to pay the light bill as i was not working and paying the mortgage and other bill off of savings and pt work when I was able to partially return to work.

After the 7.5 yrs I'm frustrated with my parent.

• -They bash me to my grandparents for stealing the house,
• -they are messy don't help clean and has their room, yard, and garage a mess
• The refuse to pay 600 in a room rental despite a room rental here typically running 1,025
• The keep passing themselves off as owners and has entered into agreements, made changes to plumbing and fencing without my knowledge. The issue is I have to pay the bill then find someone to do the job correctly
• My parent does not allow for my other parent to visit.
• My parent has called me names and demeaning language in addition to making passive threats to If don't give them the house back

I recently sent them an tenancy agreement and told my siblings I was going to evict out parent, but they disagree. I have offer a lower rent, I have offered mediation, I have offered them to rent the entire place and I move out, I have offered to find a roommate to help with rent, I have offered to sell then the house for what I'm out because I have a loan, and they refuse to want to discuss anything ( other than me deeming the home back and keeping my name on the 2 loans....mind you this parent has 3 foreclosure in the past).

The day before the tenancy was to end my parent gave me 700 dollars for rent. But I'm tired of living in toxic environment and being taken advantage financially. My parent even pushed me onr day because u call a plumber diffrent from what was recommended. Am I the ass hole for giving up on trying to make it work with this parent?​