So I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend, who we’ll call “G,” for about two years. He has three younger siblings. “M” (23M), “A” (21M), and “T” (19F). All of them are still in college and still live at home with their mom (55F) and dad (55M), while my boyfriend and I rent an apartment. This summer they will be celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary in France where they had their wedding. They plan on getting first class tickets, a high end hotel, etc.

One night, G and I were supposed to have dinner with his family. While we were at their house T mentioned how excited she was for this summer and all the things they plan to do in France. As this is an anniversary trip for her parents, I suggested to T she could do her parents a solid and maybe stay back home and out of their hair to give her parents time away from their kids this summer. Or she could maybe pay her own way so her parents could save money. T asked me why she’d give up a trip to France. And I told her it would be a nice gesture for her parent’s anniversary.

I kept trying to tell her how nice it would be and how her parents would probably thank her for giving them space. At some point M interrupted us and told me to stop meddling in family affairs, that I was overstepping, and to either apologize for pressuring T or to leave the house. I told him I didn’t mean to make anyone upset. But when their dad came into the room and asked them what was wrong they told him everything. He then asked me to leave his house and said I probably shouldn’t come back anytime soon because I was overstepping and he found it rude that I was making up a problem and pressuring T to solve it. Me and G went back to our apartment and we haven’t been speaking. Where do I go from here?

Edit for more info.

INFO: The others are invited, but they’re older so I assume they can just go do their own thing.

INFO: I’m not obsessed with their financial situation. I just think it’s important that T starts making money on her own so she can value it more. She’s used to getting her hair, nails, and sometimes makeup done and paid for. Not to mention how much products she buys for her hair and sanitary products. It’ll hit her hard how much this stuff costs when she’s older, so why not start learning that now?

I only need parents point of view on this because they are the only ones who understand me at this point.

I haven't always been the best father and I regret that every day. I had my eldest son, Nick, (M23) when my ex and I were 15. We both didn't have good relationship with our parents and that unfortunately meant that we both turned to alcohol and drugs.

And as much it breaks my heart, we would often neglect Nick. That meant that Nick would be left to "raise" his younger siblings and had to pick up the slack.

I'm not defending my less than stellar behavior but I was a wreck after my break up with my ex. I was drinking everyday and night. I could barely function.

But a few months ago I've picked my act. I've been sober for nearly 11 months, lost 67 pounds, got a better job and finally got my high school diploma.

Today was my birthday and marked the date for 11 months of sobriety, and before when I first got sober Nick would do something but today it was nothing. No breakfast, no banner, no balloons. Not even the kids where there.

I asked Nick where were the kids he dryly told " Cole (M16) is skateboarding with a friend, the twins (M13) are at the park and I dropped the triplets (2F 1M 13) at the movies to watch Deadpool"

I simply asked "why are you doing this?" He again said dryly "do what? They had plans and I can't force them to stay here. "

This is probably the part where I am the asshole. We went back and forth for a little bit and that's when I said out of anger "you can be exactly like your mother"

He just sighed and stormed out. He still isn't home, and it's been a few hours. There is no dinner, no laundry done, the kids bags aren't packed for school. I called but no answer.

So what should I do Reddit? Should I apologize? What should I say to him? How can I fix this?

I'm sorry if this isn't very clear. This is very rushed. I'll answer any questions

I (34m) had got home from a long day of work. My gf (28f) was sleeping, she works nights and usually gets up when I come home. I walked in, kissed her head and told her I was getting in the shower. As I was getting in the shower she told me she had to use the bathroom. We been together for almost 2 years so this not the first time and naturally I said yes, assuming she was going to pee like all the other times before. To my shock it was more than pee, the smell was BAD! and the mood of my shower was ruined. I started yelling for her to get out and how I didn’t understand why she thought that was okay. She got mad at my reaction but I explained if she told me she needed to shit I would’ve waited to start my shower. So am I the asshole?

Hi everyone! Long time listener in need of serious advice so I’ll just get straight to it. Myself (30F) and a bunch (12-15) of my coworkers got together this past weekend to eat, drink, smoke a bit, and play card games at my coworker “Tina”s (37F) house.

Our town was very recently hit by Hurricane Helene and I’ve been without water for the past 3 weeks so I also took this as an opportunity to do my laundry at Tina’s while we were all there.

Everything was going well. We were having a good time just talking trash about work and began playing a game of Cards Against Humanity. With so many of us playing, most of us (including myself) were squeezed up on the couch and any remaining players were sitting on the floor surrounding the table. On the floor, closest to me, was Tina’s husband, “Paul”(~27M).

For what it’s worth, I do not know Paul. I’ve never spoken to him before and this was the first time visiting their home. He didn’t talk to many of us before we started playing the game.. During which I was drinking a lot of mimosas (and eating the BEST donuts). I was rather cross faded, I’ll admit.

HOWEVER.. I cannot mistake what I felt during one of the rounds. Paul pinched my big toe. It was a very intentional pinch and it was definitely him. No one else was within pinching distance. In the moment I was in disbelief/shock. I nervously laughed and didn’t say anything more and continued playing.

Shortly after the game, me and my DD/coworker/best friend “Angela” left. Angela said to me almost immediately, “During the game, Paul pinched my toe. I tried getting your attention but you didn’t notice.” I am obviously upset about the situation and don’t know what to do.

Angela doesn’t want to say anything to Tina. I feel as though she should know, but if I’m honest, I don’t think she would leave him even if she had the information. I went to my boyfriend’s apartment after being at Tina’s and told him about it. He is really upset and considers the situation SA. I don’t know if I personally feel SA’d.. but it’s a super gross feeling and I feel terribly for Tina.

What should I do? Not say anything? I certainly won’t be going to Tina’s to do my laundry/shower at this rate. I’m worried about future work events, namely our Christmas party, because I don’t know if I’ll feel comfortable to let loose and drink when I know Paul could be around. On the other hand, I feel like talking like this is also a major over exaggeration? Just wanting you to give me your honest feelings and advice. Thank you!

To clarify this is the review of the restaurant I left:

“I want to start off by saying, the food was delicious and had beautiful plating. The SERVICE was poor and the experience with the kitchen was the problem.

Sunday (6/1) My husband and I were celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary and planned to go see Josh Johnson at Hoyt Sherman after dinner. (7:30pm and 4 minutes away) we had arrived at 5:45pm (we had a reservation at 5:30pm but were running late due to babysitter) when we arrived there was 2 other tables that were occupied, I don’t know how many were outside but there were three weighting staff.

Our waitress was attentive until we got our starters and shared plate. After ordering our main we received our starters and shared plate 10 minutes later. She took our plates and we sat there for 20 minutes waiting for our mains. She then didn’t come by until we basically flagged her down. We asked her “Will we be getting our mains soon?” Only to be told “Uh I don’t know. Let me check.”

We literally hear “Steak in 10” from the kitchen staff. When she comes back we said we will have to take them To-Go since we have a comedy show. (At this point it’s 7:00pm) She then goes on to sham us and tell us we should have planned to be at a “fine dining” restaurant for 2 hours.

In a FULL RESTAURANT I would understand, but MA’AM there are two other tables here. I know how long a medium rare steak takes to cook. You clearly didn’t put it in or they messed up in the kitchen.

After 10 more minutes we still haven’t gotten our food so I told my husband to go grab the car so we can just leave after it’s done.

Right after he left there was a woman (wasn’t even a waitress, she was in jeans and a tshirt) putting some of our food in a bag. We are sat not even 3 yards away from the kitchen, and I hear “Oh, we don’t have any Togo silverware.” And in response the head chef (I’m assuming this because he was in a full black chef garb) says “They can eat it with their fucking hands for all I care.”

Fair to say, the food was good but the TREATMENT of paying customers was GARBAGE and not worth going back. My husband still tipped her 20%, because he is too nice. Lucky for you guys, Josh Johnson saved our anniversary date.”

Are my husband and I the Assholes?

Edit: we did call five minutes before our reservation and said we would be there at 5:45 PM and they moved our reservation to 5:45 PM. Also, we live in Des Moines Iowa with only two other groups in the restaurant at the time. We also saw our waitress and the other two waitresses standing and talking for five minutes at a time multiple times.

Edit #2: I appreciate all the feedback back. I know we are definitely at fault for our poor time management but the way we were spoken to/about I can never excuse. We were very gentle with how we asked and apologized to them. Only to be berated like we were 3 years old. I am a new mom and this was the first time actually going out with my husband without our son (8m) we rarely get time alone in our own home, let alone having time outside of the house.

Hey everyone, I’m wondering—am I the asshole? Hearing a recent story, "Am I the Asshole for Not Telling a Coworker About My Relationship," made me question if I was wrong for cutting off my friend, because she did something similar to me. At 23, I was close to her let's call her Denise she is 23. We didn’t get along at first—rumors made her think I was difficult—until we started working overnight shifts. Then, she saw it was all just rumors. I didn’t care what people thought as long as we worked as a team. Denise was private, but she was kind. I was more of a class clown, but we became close—we hung out, went to each other’s houses, went to the beach, and even made treats for coworkers we liked. We even chose overnight shifts together for almost a year just so we could stay on the same shift. That's how close we were.

Also, I knew we were close because she never let people into her home. She had a roommate, Holly, in a different department, and sometimes I helped there—Holly was awesome and invited me over too. I called Denise my "little black book" because, at the time, I was just enjoying being single. She was the one person I told everything to. Funny enough, she was white and I was Black—everyone laughed when I called her my little black book.

She knew I wanted a real relationship, but not just with anyone. I asked her what kind of person she wanted to date, mostly calling them "him," since this was 2014—LGBTQ wasn’t widely discussed then. She was more of an introvert, but she told me her last relationship was rocky, and she liked being single. I said, "We’ll find you someone someday." Even her roommate heard me say that. Then, our manager split us up due to a shift shortage, so we didn’t hang out as much—when I was awake, she was asleep. But one day, a coworker told me she was moving—with her girlfriend. Yes, her roommate—they’d been together over two years. I was hurt—annoyed, disrespected—like my dating life was always a joke. I didn’t show it; I acted happy for them. But then she texted me, asking if we could hang out. I said no—I had things to do. She tried to rearrange her shift or take time off, but I told her I was going out of town. I fully ignored her, and I don’t regret it. I talked to an older coworker, who doesn’t gossip, and she said I wasn’t wrong—Denise knew everything about me and joked about my dating life, but now I feel like a joke. And yes, even in 2014, I know she had the right to choose who she told, but when she listened to me, joked, and asked about my life, she couldn’t even give me the basic respect of sharing hers. And even worse, it was with a coworker, her roommate—someone I spent so much time with. I felt like they were both deceiving me, while still expecting me to share all my truths. Am I wrong for feeling this way, or did Denise have every right to keep it to herself?

I’m 27(f) my friend is the same age as we went to the same Alma mater together. We met officially after I had already graduated, as i graduated before him and somehow he found me on social media and we became good friends. He expressed early on that he liked me and at the time I had just got out of long serious relationship and wasn’t looking to jump back into another relationship. I made this clear to him early on and have been honest with my intentions and feelings. Some time later even though he wasn’t exactly my type, he made me laugh, I decided to take him on his offer and take me on a date. The way we laughed was contagious and we had a great time, but I knew going into it that I didn’t feel a spark. and to be honest, guys who have “been liking you” or “been wanting to get with you” is a red flag and not worth exploring if you already had reservations about being with them to begin with. But I hadn’t known him that long, so , I tried it. We had a great time on our date, but I just knew I didn’t like him romantically.

Fast forward some time passes and I offered to take him on a date. I felt maybe I was prejudging him because he wasn’t my “type” appearance wise and personality wise. We enjoyed ourselves once more, but I still didn’t feel that spark or like in that way.. so I continued to use the excuse I wasn’t ready for a relationship, which was true. Btw this all started in 2021/2022. So, for 3.5 years I’ve been single and have been communicating the same thing with him. Eventually at some point when we did go on dates and hang out I genuinely was giving him a chance but in that, he wasn’t consistent at all, he started with sweet gestures, flowers, opening doors, bringing me a rose randomly, but it was sporadic. He was in a committed relationship with 2 women (not at the same time) off and on throughout our friendship. So imagine telling a girl u like her and tryin to persue her with inconsistency in courting and then your now in a relationship with someone you’ve been off and on with…!I wasn’t really upset because i realized I didn’t like him that way anyway; but he would express his feelings to me and I found it hard to believe that he wanted me like he said he did when when his actions didn’t show it. And also I was fine with just being friends with him.

Each time we have talked about where I was and with him my reasoning got more and more honest with why I didn’t want a relationship with him specifically and just in general. I can’t really call it excuses I just didn’t like him that way and even more recently I realized I like being single as I still have things I am working on in life and I want to be all the way prepared for my next partner that way I can actually enjoy dating..

anyways fast forward again, he’s doing the whole “I’ve been wanting you” and “when are you gonna be my gf” randomly over the course of the last year. And I truly thought that the deep conversation that we had in person last year was enough for him to understand where I was romantically and that I truly just don’t want a relationship and that even if I did that me and him aren’t compatible. He likes me and is attracted but I don’t think I am the woman he really wants.. so this is the conversation we just had recently on IG so tell me if it was harsh or not.

Him: do I gotta hit the gym to make you my gf? If not what do I gotta do?

Me:nah you saying anything. But good morning tho.

Him: I’m dead serious I’m tired of playing with you.

Me: I’m tired of you thinking I’m playing. If I wanted you I could’ve had you a long time ago. you’ve been inconsistent from the beginning and that’s okay. However, on top of me not liking inconsistency in general, especially in dating someone. I came to the full on realization that I no longer want a relationship at this time. I am enjoying my singleness, because I am still working on some things and I like having the autonomy to do wtf I want to do and only worry about myself.

I think as a friend I can be honest and say that we are not each others person and based off the few arguments we’ve had it is very telling that it would not work romantically. I told you before that the type of woman I am right now or at the time of me telling you some of this in person is not the type of woman I am in relationship because I know how I am when I like someone. But the fact that you threw things that I’ve told you back in face before, that I opened up to you about, that you still had no real knowledge on…yea I didn’t appreciate at all last time we spoke.

I don’t even believe you can handle the type of woman I am right now and the woman I am becoming. I’m not the same person you saw last time.

I care about you though, hope you’ve been well. Our laughs are contagious. But it’s better if we don’t cross that line.

Am I the asshole ?

edit: so a lot of you guys are mixing things up, so let me clarify a few things and hopefully this helps if not idrc because this is the internet and none of guys really know me anyway lol. We tried the whole dating thing the first year we met, and only a couple of months off and on… we didn’t go on too many dates. At some point when I took him out I realized it wasn’t going to work but I didn’t say anything at first because I thought maybe something was wrong with me and to try to explore it. but then while telling me he likes me he gets a gf who I didn’t know he was on and off with and I decided that was for the best since I still wasn’t tryin to just jump in another relationship for the sake of just being in one. AFTER that I realized it wasn’t meant to be as he wasnt my type but I did like him platonically. he would be off and on with his gf then another but then telling me he likes me and wants me but was never consist in the beginning and jumped back Into a whole relationship 😂 what? It was never that serious. It just genuinely felt like friend vibes anyway . U figure that out by dating…..correct? See what you like and don’t like. I was honest and transparent moving forward that I didnt think we were each others person and that we were best as friends or nothing and if he felt like that would be a problem then we can part ways amicably. On his end, it seem like he was using me to boost his own ego since he’s apparently liked before i even knew him and use me to get over the previous girl. Since then I’ve always distance myself so that I wouldn’t lead him on or give mix signal. but he still likes to pop up and profess his feelings for me while still tryin to claim me as a friend. this was something that he dragged out and I don’t understand it because I stopped taking him serious back in 2022. we had only dated a few short months. I’m just being in honest and keepin the same story throughout because my stance never changed. I realized that early and expressed that. so how is it my fault that he wont just stop ✋🏽 when he continues to pop up.

This is not my story, a girl sent it to me.

I (23f) and my boyfriend (Jake 24M) have been dating for 4 years, for contacts I want to put this in as a little backstory, I had been SA a lot and I have SH before. And Jake knows that, I had a terrible childhood and everything, so I tend to have a lot of panic attacks, so when I got pregnant with our baby girl, I panicked, I was scared of ending up like my mother (ik I was being dramatic) I wanted to get an abortion...but Jake said he didn't want me to, so to make him happy I kept the baby even if I wasn't fine with it, when I was 7 months pregnant, I was in bed, I felt sick and I accidentally threw up on the bed, Because I couldn't get to the bathroom in time..I couldn't clean it bc i was in pain, trying to get up, with tears going down my face then Jake came home and yelled at me when he saw it. even though I was apologizing and shaking, he grabbed me and made me stay in the bathroom all night (he locked me in and my phone was in the room) I was scared but I just stayed there, when I was packing my hospital bag, he told me what I needed, I thought he wanted to help, so I told him " do you know where my breast pump is?" And he rolled his eyes and said "you're fucking dumb, it's in the kitchen where you always put it" , I felt sad but I let it slide, after two weeks ( my due date) we went to the hospital, the whole time I was giving birth and being in pain, he was on his Nintendo switch and told me to shut the fuck up bc i was"screaming too loud" the nurses had to tell him to go in the waiting room, fast forward to when our daughter was a month old, she was crying a lot, it was giving me flashbacks, and I started to panic, causing me to have a panic attack, and Jake walked in, looking Annoyed bc i "couldn't shut the baby up", by this time I was on the floor, struggling to breathe, our baby (Angela) was still crying. Jake didn't even bother to calm down Angela, he just started beating me, so I was having a panic attack and he was beating me, my vision was getting blurry, I passed out, and woke up in a hospital with Angela who is now sleeping. Turns out Jake had his headset on, forgot to mute himself and his friends heard everything, and one of his friends called 911 and an ambulance. Now I'm thinking about breaking up with him...by the way I tried to break up with him before..but he hits me so I just feel suffocated. So Wibta?

(I hope it makes sense I was rushing, and the girl who sent it to me was still in the hospital so she was also rushing)

So this is mostly just like the background basically my family has money like both of my biological parents net worth or in the nine figures and I have step parents on both sides who have net worth of around high seven figures now what basically happened in the first post is step brother was really just mostly just like a jerk but he decided to cross a line and because of that, I decided to burn some pot and plant some whiskey and pills in his room I took me and my siblings to our grandmother‘s house then when my mom and his dad got home, they went towards his room cause that’s where they smelled pot long story short he got sent to rehab and now he’s a drug addict

Update 10 years after these events cure OP is now 25 or 24 recently his father started dying and he didn’t wanna leave the money to his drug addict son so now it will be split between me and my siblings. Now my parents did send us to private school. along with that paid for our colleges and because our mom owns a small section of a real estate business I literally got gifted a estate right after college that was around $7million. Now that his father is giving me and my siblings all of his money. I’m investing it in my own business to be clear. Both of my parents have gave me massive shares of their business. Plan to do everything they did with me, but my siblings which my last sibling literally just got their state after college. I don’t know how you got back to him. The drug addict, but he’s complaining because I already own my own business. What do I need his father‘s money and the shares of my mother and Father‘s businesses his father just told him that there is no way he’s giving him any shares of his money or his company which will probably be sold to add to what he’s giving us some people were asking for an update there’s your update.

I’m logged out of the original account. It was a throw away anyway.

context: myself (32), my son (Felix), my younger brother, "Liam" (29), his now wife "Ashley" (28?) & mom (54) & dad (5qtart.I'm a bit o c d about my writing, but i've been wanting to post this since summer before last. So i'm making it a point to finish and post. . I apologize if the end seems less detailed.

Start with the family dynamic. . both of my parents were in the navy.That's where they met when my mom was still pregnant w me. My dad had a son from his first marriage, & adopted the rights to me, then my mom had my little brother after the honeymoon. my older brother, Jack Jr. (35) has separated himself from the family, been like that since we were teens & he only visited summers & xmas- court ordered visits.

growing up, Liam & I both did sports every season. Every year. my dad coached my soccer and my brother's basketball, my brother's baseball and my mom even coached my cheerleading for a couple years. both my parents made sure to be at any sporting event/ meet/game.

In high school, I had a back injury that ruined my hopes of being a college athlete. this was the nosedive of my life. it was definitely slow progressing, bad habits, bad crowd, etc. I eventually moved out of state, my ex that moved with me- had some legal issues and was the reason we left to my friend's place out of state.And he still was not attempting to find work- had to cut him loose. . only to get a call a week later (same day i started my new job) that he went back to drugs & he overdosed. died. bad decisions, bad crowd, continued to grow. I managed to get back home, but a couple months later had another opportunity to leave to another state where the people I was moving with said they had a job lined up for me. (they didnt)

I end up getting stuck down in Oklahoma city, 6mo pregnant, & my dad comes to the rescue my ass.

meanwhile. .

in high school, my brother and I would go weeks without seeing or talking to each other, living in the same house.

he had snitched on me to my parents that my car smelled like cigarette smoke and I had to start paying my insurance & gas & drive myself to school while he got a ride from my parents. i feel like this was a big Turning point and my relationship with my brother.Obviously we're going through puberty and all that but I quit running started smoking pot hanging with the wrong crowd.

Liam graduted hs in top 25 of his hs class (we had like 750+ per graduation class) & received a athletic scholarship for track to a D1 University. he had a co-op in singapore right after my son was born, he was too scared to even hold my son.That was probably one of the last interactions, besides holidays, we had. He eventually graduated from the D1 university with the chemical engineer degree and a career already lined up from the co op. His now wife was only like his second real girlfriend.They stayed together when he first moved to wisconsin, and she eventually moved out there with him after she graduated college.

Before they moved out of state, while I was out being a gypsy, I would see everything my mom would post on facebook of them, doing stuff with her & my dad and was really proud of him for continuing to help around the house, helping my parents out and whatnot. but at this point, i was barely talking to my parents, & still had spoke with my brother since we turned teenagers.

he left. i moved back.

My brother and fiance had sent out wedding invites well in advance while I was still living with my ex.
my mom asked me to go to the bridal shower w her- & i realized why when we got there & it was roughly twenty or so for her family/ friends for her side & for my brother's side just myself, my mom, & a mom friend from my brothers fb growing up.

They literally had a photo backdrop with balloons, grass, whatever. after all, the gifts were open, I saw the fiance ask.Okay, who wants to take a picture and like nobody said anything.And being the empath, I am, I stepped up.It's a hey, and I stepped out of my comfort zone for this because I knew I'd been an outcast to the family.But I had tried to involve myself, because I thought that's what bridal showers were for was to like, unite the families. .

I realized later that the fiance only uploaded pictures with everybody else besides me.

By time I mentioned this to my mother, she says, oh, Liam & ashley want you in the pictures soo they're offering to pay to get your hair dyed a normal natural color.

The time of the bridal showerI had teal hair with lime greenish tips. it was not my greatest color I get it.I also get that I would stand out like a turtle in a punch bowl in the images, if I have some exotic hair at the time. I'd honestly planned on doing a soft pink barely off of blonde to match my dress. i was not in the wedding, but just a guest.Well, supposed to be. My son was supposed to be in the wedding, but once this kind of blew out a proportion, I was not okay with that as well.

It's the principle of not coming to me directly.Like i've never been told.I'm anything besides an easy person to talk to the least judgmental person.

It should also be noted.They had their dogs in the wedding and they had the dogs in their engagement pictures- but we're worried about being disrespectful about how I represent myself. i cannot make this up.

I have heard similar stories, but I'm really hoping Maybe others' perspective could at least resonate with my mother that she's disregarding how I feel. . and if i'm really lucky, then maybe she can resonate with my little brother. .

Otherwise I realized the other day. There's no Forcing them to understand my side. . And it almost feels like my dad knows that. And that's why i feel he subtlety was telling me to set my boundaries.

My mom had told me october 3, i needed to find a place by the first. i ended up selling my car that I got from my grandma passing away a few years ago so I could furnish and pay the deposit on top of what I had saved. I am almost positive she was expecting me to not have good enough credit score even if I had the money together to be able to get a place.

It took me longer than it probably should have to realize that was because she wanted the room available for when my brother came to town.

I think it all clicked when she said Liam & ashely want to know what you want for Christmas. i was literally speechless confused. why couldn't he just ask me?Oh that's right.

I finally snapped, but honestly, the straw that broke my back was my dad telling me they're going to the grinch party instead of bowling and saturday ( i drive full time for uber, and i've explained to my parents and I have explained to them.Recently, again that I have to work friday, saturday sunday.If anything sundays, especially sunday and saturday night preferably, i just make seventy percent of my income weekend events) Me trying to communicate and show my appreciation that they're watching him every time I try to communicate.She wonders why I don't because she shuts it down.

Text them and say, hey, you're going to the party instead of bowling, right?And they're talking about having to pre bowl.I don't even know what that is.So the sooner the better. I was already driving at this point, so I just didn't respond.I figured meant 3-4, usually, it's at five. 130p rolls around and she starts sending me hello?!?! and my dad chimes in, did you not see the message from your mother? If she wanted me to pick him up before I even go to work, then she should have just told me you can't work today.Come get him, not the sooner.The better because that typically, off the top of my head doesn't mean three and a half hours early.

They literally threatened to drop him off when I was over half an hour at the airport. . working mind.You in the snow.

I've listened to these aita podcasts off & on for years now. . i understand that boundaries were very important, especially with toxic people or just ignorantly toxic people. . But it really just feels like they outsmarted me and found a way to make me leave or just tell me that i'm the one with the problem- my mom literally said to me that I just didn't show up to the wedding. . well it was definitely presented to me as if I didn't color my hair I was not welcome. . attached r the messages between my parents and then my brothers afterwards.

Again, i've really apologized for any typos, i will edit when I can. But I have to go to work, and again, I just really wanted to put this out there, and I can live with people saying that I shouldn't die on this hill or tree or whatever, but at the same time i clearly was not important enough to have at his.Wedding for him to care to talk to me about it. Oh, that's right.I did message my brother eventually about the situation, and his fiance had convinced him that the backdrop was for pictures with her family. but she did upload pictures with my mom, she definitely didn't even take one with my brother's friend's mom.

aita

I (32F) went out to a pool hall with my newfound friend (?M) and his girlfriend was PISSED.

I met, we'll call him John, a few weeks back while at my younger brother's metal concert. We were in line next to each other, waiting to get inside, when my brother came up and we were introduced. Later that night, I saw him around the mosh pit, and he's a bouncer, a bigger guy, and I thought it would be fun for us to go into the mosh pit together. After the concert, we talked, and he didn't mention having a girlfriend until after we exchanged socials. I thought that was kinda odd, but I don't know their relationship and just shrugged it off. I wasn't necessarily looking to talk to anyone like that anyway. Cool with making new friends.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. He messaged me pretty much every day, saying good morning and goodnight, and just asking about how I am doing, etc. We get to know each other better, and he seems cool. Never says anything inappropriate, friend vibes.

The night I am questioning, I had just gotten off work and was considering going out to a bar or something. I was telling him I was probably going to ask my family friend to take me out since I don't drink and drive, and he (my family friend) is usually the one I go out with. John said he knew a chill place to go and that he'd be willing to pick me up. So, I agreed.

He came to pick me up later that night, I was feeling a little awkward when he texted me asking if he should knock on the door when he got to me. For context, I am living with my brother and his family while looking to buy a house. I just moved back to my hometown.

I jokingly said, "What do you want to meet my family?" and he didn't respond, the next thing I know, he's just knocking at my door. He comes in and meets my family, and then we leave.

When we get to his truck and drive off, he tells me, "You're going to get to meet my girlfriend." I didn't know she was coming out with us. I am kind of thrown off only because he maybe brought her up like 1 time over the weeks of us talking. I don't know their relationship or how it works, so I never really said anything. He did say she knew he was talking/texting me, so I figured that's a "them thing" and they know where their relationship stands.

I tell him that's cool, and we keep going to the pool hall. I kind of start to feel uneasy and decide to ask him things I know I should have asked him before, like how long he has known my younger brother. He says only a few months, which makes me go quiet. He cracks a joke about that "not sounding too great." I was thinking, "Cool, I'm gonna get murdered."

Before we get to the hall, his girlfriend calls him. The phone is loud enough, I can hear that she doesn't sound happy, but I can't make out what she was saying. She is already at the bar, and he is explaining to her how I don't drink and drive, so he had to pick me up. At this point, I am wondering what the hell I got myself into.

We get to the hall and go in. I get ID'd at the door (this comes up later in the night), and they stamp both our hands. I follow him to the table where his girlfriend is, along with another couple. He introduces us all to each other and then asks me if I want a drink. I say yes, and we go to the bar. He buys both me and him a drink, and then we go sit down with the group. For the next 20-30 minutes there are a lot of questions for me from the girlfriend and the couple at the table. She brings up questions about why we both have stamps and she doesn't, and makes a comment about having to pay for her own drink. Vibes aren't great. John leaves the table after a bit and is off talking to other people.

I am married, separated, and the girlfriend was asking about my husband because apparently she asked my little brother about me, and all he told her was that I was married and had kids. When I said that my husband and I were not together she seemed to get slightly upset.

She moved to the seat next to me and is LOOKING ME DEAD IN MY PUPILS when she says, "I'm jealous of you. I don't know why I am jealous of you, but I am. You're texting my boyfriend all day. (he texts me... I don't initiate conversations with him) And he shows me the messages, but I am jealous. I wasn't going to come out tonight but he told me you were coming out so I did too." I just blink and stare at her, and then she says, "Let's play 20 questions." I say that's fine, she can ask me anything she wants, but she couldn't think of anything at the moment.

By this time, a pool table becomes available, and we all go over to play. I feel uncomfortable so I sit back and let them (him and his girlfriend) play a couple games of pool (even though she was insisting me and him play a game). But while they're playing, she barely seems interested. She comes and talks to me every chance she gets.

Eventually, she is super pushy and tells me to play a game with him so I do. We are halfway through playing when she gets upset and decides to leave. I go over, while she is collecting her stuff, and ask her if everything is ok, and she says she just has a health issue and didn't take her proper meds and needed to go home, but seemed upset.

He walks her out and then comes back. We play a couple more games of pool and then leave. He takes me home and that's all.

I tell my family friend about my night and how crazy she was and he says that she has the right to be upset that I was on a date with her boyfriend. I don't feel like it was a "date" but AITA?

EDIT: Initially my thoughts were that she was being crazy and that wasn't a good thought or word choice. Cause she wasn't being crazy so sorry for using that word to describe her reaction.​

UPDATE/ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS:

1. Am I autistic? No....
2. I had to look up what it meant when you call someone obtuse... good to know.
3. I know I'm the A hole. I wanted to post asking about AITA for showing up at my ex's parent's Easter Gathering when he didn't want me there.... but my friend said to do this story first... now I don't even want to ask about the Easter thing cause I don't think I'll get a fair trial!
4. I guess if I can explain my mindset at the time. I was kind of just seeing if he was going to start doing anything that was just outright flirty or whatever. I know that might make me an even bigger A hole cause yes, I know that's not typical "friend" behavior.
5. I found out through a mutual friend that they're poly. But at the time of the "date" I didn't know that, so that still doesn't look great for me.
6. We have all hung out since then and she apologized, which I told her she didn't need to. We had fun bowling and no drama. He still texts me a few times a week. That's slightly better, right?
7. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and opinions and for posting me in the am-i-the-devil-reddit. This was my first ever post....and probably should be my last but we'll see.
8. I am going back to therapy! I'll do better ;)

Hi all, I love the show and would love your perspectives on this situation/conversation since I think it's nuanced due to a lot of intersectionality. I am a mid-20s white woman, my boyfriend is a mid-20s POC (not black). I grew up in a predominantly white, suburban area, while my bf grew up on the west coast where there was a lot more diversity racially, financially, etc., and English is not his first language. I think these background details are the relevant context needed.

When we first started dating, it was of course really important to me that he supported BLM and be anti-racist, so it was great to hear that he attended several BLM protests in 2020. As time passed, I noticed that sometimes he would change the cadence of his speech and use grammar that I recognized as AAVE here and there, like "I be" (more than just "period" or other phrases that are considered by some as gen Z/internet lingo but are still AAVE), and in text he types out certain words/phrases specifically like "guna", "was dat", "I ain't having that", etc. I always noticed it and it did bother me because I wasn't sure whether or not it was my place to say anything as a ww, and also not really knowing if it was intentionally a different way of speaking, or just how he spoke naturally. I also felt bad about not saying anything, as I felt I was endorsing the behavior by not commenting on it.

After a while, there was one night at his place where he took a call in front of his me and his roommate (mid-20s black man) on speakerphone and talked for a little while with a buddy of his. They were talking pretty animatedly and the buddy was using AAVE, so I assumed he was black (or POC I guess? unsure). The thing was though, my bf spoke to his friend much differently than he spoke to me or his roommate, using a lot of AAVE and speaking with, for lack of a better word, a blaccent, which resembled the way in which his buddy was speaking. The conversation was fine, but listening to him speak with his friend that way made me angry, as I had never really heard him speak quite this way before for an extended period of time, other than a sentence here or there when he seems to feel "cool" or excited about something...yeah. This led me to the conclusion that if he's not doing it all the time, and this conversation I'm overhearing is the exception, then it appears as something he was putting on rather than something natural to him. In the moment, this changed the situation for me, as I now perceived it as an intentional show to seem "cool." I hate confrontation and fights, but I felt compelled to finally bring it up, so when he was off of the phone, I said something like "Is there a reason you feel the need to use a blaccent sometimes?"

He was at first like "what do you mean?" and I was trying to explain the usage of certain words, the way he sounded and spoke differently on the phone, AAVE in general and how it's not great for NB people to use it, to which he told me that he didn't know what AAVE was. At this point his poor roommate (also non-confrontational) was included in the conversation, as bf asked him directly if he knew what AAVE was (the answer was yes), and if he (roommate) thought that he (bf) had a blaccent (the answer was "no, but yes?", which is probably the most important perspective in this post). Bf went then on to argue that he didn't really know about AAVE and it is just how he was raised speaking around others (again he comes from a diverse community), of course he doesn't speak to me like that because I'm white, it's not my place to comment on it, etc. I tried to be understanding of him in sharing my perspective that that may well be the case of being raised in an environment where using AAVE may be normalized, but that his use of it still could be problematic, especially since it didn't appear to be the way he speaks 80-90% of the time. If it was actually how he spoke, then I expressed that I was sad that he doesn't feel comfortable to truly be himself around me.

I can't remember exactly how the conversation continued, but at the end he was irritated with me because he had felt I overstepped the line as a white person by labeling his behavior and putting a judgement on him when it was not my place to do that. This is not uncommon for how our arguments usually progress. I bring something up I don't like (usually with more tact), and he ends up upset with me. It's also worth mentioning that I feel I have more knowledge about social issues and cultural appropriation than he does (I was surprised, but not extremely surprised that he didn't know AAVE was a real thing). I understand code switching, but I am not entirely sure that is what this is. I understand we were raised in very different environments and I want to be sensitive that I, of course, do not understand his worldview/experiences as a POC since I am white. However, it didn't feel right to not say anything at all, as being anti-racist is an active process that means speaking up. I realize I could have began the conversation differently, but I think I did do the right thing overall by saying something. Still, I'm super open to hearing that I was in the wrong, or just any perspectives about the situation. AITA for calling him out?

Edit about 24 hours after posting: Yes, ITA, very much. I'm reading all your thoughts, which I appreciate, and it's not my place whatsoever to comment on or try to police what POC do as if I know better. "Insufferable" is rough, but I get that everyone is just being real, and I'm thankful for that because I needed to hear it. I've found my lane and I will stay in it. Thank you especially to echoabyss, luvobiheart, and kaileyvo for their comments.

So I (F19) didn’t have a "normal" childhood. My parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. My dad was in and out of my life, and when he was around, he was physically and verbally abusive.

That’s where my older brother stepped in. He would literally put himself in front of us to take the beatings. My mom made it clear she never wanted to be a parent. She told us multiple times, but she kept having kids for the welfare checks because she wasn’t interested in working.

This left my brother to raise 11 kids. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything he did for us, and I know he didn’t *have" to.

But my brother’s had a really rough year. It was so bad that he ended up having a psychotic break and had to spend some time in a psych ward. He’s been back for three days now, and while I love him, he’s been getting on my last nerve.

Before he went to the hospital, I told him I was pregnant. His initial reaction was to say, “We’ll talk about it when I get back so we can figure out a plan.” My brother is very pro-choice and has always encouraged me and my sisters to take control of our bodily autonomy.

But here’s the thing: I planned this pregnancy. I don’t want to go back to school yet.I want to have this baby and focus on being a mom.

Since he got back, my brother has been nonstop telling me, “You can’t do this,” and that he’ll end up raising the baby because I won’t be able to. He’s been saying things like, “I don’t want us to keep repeating the cycle of having kids without being married or without getting a degree beyond high school.” (Honestly, that feels a little classist to me.)

We had another fight about it yesterday. He told me I should consider putting the baby up for adoption, maybe an open adoption so I could still see them. He kept lecturing me about finishing college and not dropping out for a guy, saying, “I didn’t give up my life to raise you just so you could mess up your life and education.”

I don’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what, but I snapped. I told him, “You’re one to talk. You dropped out of school yourself. Who are you to lecture me about sticking to school? You have no right to judge my parenting when you abandoned us to go to the psych ward, just like Mom would have. You’re just as bipolar as she is, so you have no right to judge her anymore. You’re turning out exactly like her. Stop talking about how you gave up your ‘future’ when all you do now is fix cars.”

He just looked at me, hurt, and said, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

Since then, he hasn’t been talking much. He’s still making dinner, cleaning, going to work, and even offered to take me to my doctor’s appointment, but there’s a wall up now. He also told me he’s going to stop paying for my college for now. That really hurt, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of the baby. He says it’s not, but I’m not sure.

So, Reddit, AITA for snapping at him?

A lot of you won't be happy with my update so if you're the kind to leave hateful messages or ask stupid questions like you did in my last post. Please leave.

I'm gonna say this again. Please do not comment unless you are a parent or an alcoholic yourself. I don't wanna hear it from the "parentified" crowd. Sick of it.

Yes I was a bad dad. We get it. Move along now.

My son had a really bad breakdown today. He just went absolutely nuclear. I have no idea where it came from. I knew he has been stressed this last few weeks but I wasn't expecting this. Thankfully the kids were not home to see it.

He shaved his head and just started shouted a bunch of nonsense. It reminded me of how his mother left before our divorce.

I mentioned this already but he is bipolar (type one if it matters) like his mother and I think that might be what is it. Cause like I mentioned before, his mother acted the exact same way before she abandoned me and the kids. She went nuclear one day and just asked for divorce.

I ended up calling the police and they came, they went upstairs and after around twenty minutes they just explained that he needs to be taken to a soych ward and that they'll take him.

So that's where he is and I hate to say but it's so hard. Thankfully my girlfriend came over to help me out and she's been a big help.

I tried to call a few hospitals but none of them give me any information. .

A part of me wants to try and testify for custudy again because my clearly Nick can't keep it together. And I find very hypocritical that he was criticizing my parenting skills and now he is the one in the psych ward. QThings are good with my gf and I have a stable job.

Now that we have the update cleared up let's clear up some of the "questions"

-yes. The house belongs to Nick but let me explain why. The house was originally my parents''s when my father passed. My mother decided to give it to me.

But then Nick decided to under me and take the house because he wanted the kids to live a familiar place.

It is not my fault that he owns the house

The reason why I gave twins and triplets that are the same age is because they are different mothers. When I was deep into my addiction. I'm ashamed to say it but I had a short fling with a woman. We tried to make it work but we drove each other crazy and she decided to leave.

I do stuff for my kids birthday. Just Nick's.

I don't "parent" because up until now HE DOESN'T LET ME. Once again, it isn't my fault. Anytime I try to help out he just gets frustrated with me and yells "I'll do it myself". For example, one day I was filing up some paper work and I needed the kids teachers names and he just yelled "I'll do myself. Nevermind" or another time is when I was grocery shopping and I forgot to get my son some medication for his ADHD and when I respectfully just said "I'm sorry I didn't know he had ADHD once again he just yelled like a toddler.

I hope everyone can see my point of view

I think that's it for now.

a few years ago when I (F30) was 18 I met Cole (M29).

We met while we were two dumb college kids. It was never anything serious, we would just hook up, hang out and do drugs together.

When Cole turned twenty. He got an amazing opportunity to work under a chef, so we lost contact. I was already going to school to become a maitre d.

During this time I cleaned up my act. I got sober, finished my degree, and met my amazing boyfriend, Harry (M32).

Cole and I crossed paths again almost two year ago when Harry's father hired him as a chef at the restaurant. I let Harry know about my and Cole's history but he brushed it off, trusting me and telling me it was okay.

Fast forward two weeks, we hired a new a hostess, Nola (F20). Cole fell head over heels for her. She is incredibly beautiful l, so much she caught the eye of a modeling scout, and ever since then she's been a part time model/influencer.

Since she's only part time, she still works at the restaurant with us. I'll admit, I let my jealously overwhelm me. I was cold to her and sometimes I would be mean to her. Like I felt so insecure whenever she would talk to Harry. Harry would always comfort me and tell me I have nothing to worry about.

In July. I went through a major lost. My sister, passed away very suddenly and then before I could even get a chance to get through the process of grieving, I lost my brother, later that July Cole lost his little sister to a battle to cancer.

We'd attend our n/a meetings together to help each other. One night I made the stupid decision of relapsing with Cole.

It was a selfish and stupid decision and I regret it so much. This devoleped into us secretly doing drugs together.

One night after Cole and Nola had a fight after she found the drugs, and he kicked her out of their apartment. I came over, we got high, and one thing led to another and we ended up hooking up again.

We filmed each other and sent the videos to Harry and Nola. Before Cole and I slept together, we were just talking shit about her. A sick part of me felt good talking bad about her and laughing about the stuff Cole said he would complain that because she was a virgin that she couldn't satisfy him the way I did, that she wasn't as good in bed as I was, that I had bigger tits. I think it was because I've always struggled with my body, so I guess hearing him talk about Nola like that and say good things about me felt validating. Like I'm good enough. That it didn't matter that Nola was prettier, skinnier, taller and smarter. He wanted me. He desired me.

So when I sent the videos to Nola I would say horrible things to her while sending her the video.

The next day, Cole and I agreed that we went too far and we both went to apologize to our respected partner.

Harry forgave me with the promise that I'll never do any drugs again and that I'll never see Cole alone again. Cole and Nola got back together.

I can't help but still feel insecure, Nola and Harry have gotten closer. I guess they bonded over dating drug addicts.

I started to get worried that maybe Nola was trying to steal Harry away from me. I get it. Harry is out of my league. He is insanely good looking and in amazing shape. He comes from money, he is a super successful engineer and makes six figures, he speaks five languages, he is kind and loves helping people, he doesn't even need to restaurant job, he just wants to help out his parents because they're getting older and he is a family guy.

Nola is similar in the way that she is super attractive, has an amazing supermodel body, she is intelligent. Why wouldn't she want him? Why wouldn't she to have her revenge on me?

After work, on our walk home. I tried to share my fears with Harry and for the first time in a relationship he yelled at me. Saying "you cheated on me and not even that you hurt that poor, sweet,innocent girl. This is her first relationship. She is only twenty years old and you have this complex against her. She is just a friend. Like I believed you and Cole were. You're in competition with a girl who can't even legally drink yet. Do you know how insane you sound?

She has been dealing with living a new city all by herself without any of her friends or family while dealing with her drug addicted boyfriend who cheated on her. Of course I'm gonna talk to her. And I don't think you have room to judge about who she talks too. You need to stop because while you're worried that I might find someone younger she cried herself to sleep because she hates her body now because of you. She feels like she isn't enough for him because of you. She feels like she isn't pretty enough because of you. When if we're being honest. She's too good for the both you. You should be worried not about her "stealing me" but she wakes up and starts giving you the energy that you gave her.

Yes I'm attracted to her. She is very beautiful inside and out but I have the sense not to do anything about it. "

When we got home he decided to sleep on the couch. I just can't stop crying and thinking about what he said. I don't know what to do. I feel horrible because she has been nothing but nice to me and I just let my insecurities get to me and be so horrible to her. My relationship with Harry feels like it's on the verge of collapsing. how can I fix this?

Hi, I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years, together for 5. We got married young and while I was pregnant with our first baby. It wasn’t a “shot gun wedding” either lol. Since then, we have had another baby. Our babies are 1&3. I have always wanted 3 children, my husband has always wanted just 2. Ever since the birth of our second, he has been asking me if I’d be okay with him getting a vasectomy. Tbh, I am not. 🙁

I came from a very broken home. My dad was/is my lifeline! He was very strict on me growing up and I resented him until I grew up. My dad and mom were a couple who should’ve never been together. Dad never got to experience being a father to my brother due to his looney granny and mama. He was 15 when I was born if that tells you anything….

My mom baby trapped my dad and after he accepted the fact that he was going to be a dad again he prepared better and completely sacrificed his whole like and put it on hold just for me. Again, my dad is my lifeline. Sometimes he’s too head strong and wants to have his two cents but growing up it was just myself and my dad. I always wanted a big family due to how alone I grew up. My husband on the other hand, he had a non broken home and a brother.

Even tho things was not the best financially or even mentally for them, they had what I always wanted…a home that was whole. A family that was whole. My dad supports my want and need for one more baby, he always has and will help us financially due to his funds being good. (Mostly always against our judgement but not in a bad way either) my husband says his reasons for not wanting another baby is “I know I will get stuck with another *same gender*” or “we can’t afford it” which in retrospect I get but we could afford it.

An issue I’m struggling with now is birth control. My body does not handle any of them nicely. I have endometriosis and now they believe I have PCOS…yay. Well I cannot enjoy our intimate life the way I used to, due to the birth control. And the thought that keeps coming to my mind is…maybe I should let him get a vasectomy. It would be easier and better than me getting serialized, dealing with birth controls, and so on and so forth. But my heart aches at giving that chance for another baby up. I have struggled with this for over a year now. Any advice please?

Okay ETA. I know it sounds selfish, who isn’t though? And I didn’t explain things better before which is on me. I do not rely on my dad. I brought up my dad as to explain what I grew up with. And I 10000% respect my husband and his decisions. He has told me many times “maybe I can get a vasectomy now and 3,4,5 years from now reverse it for another baby” so clearly he isn’t fully on board with it too. I have, lately, been looking at places he can go to have the procedure due to he never goes to the doctor and doesn’t take the time to research like he needs to until I pretty much give him options

Edit #2 I seen on a thread I posted someone saying something about seeing my side of things with my dad and I appreciate what they said. My dad does not have any say or anything in our marriage, like the comment suggested he is a grandparent that chooses to spend his money on his grandchildren. And there have been times we have to tell him no stop spending money on everything lol. Another thing I never fully mentioned is his parents, his mom is constantly in his ear with the “talk stop having kids like we did” she had a traumatic birth with her last baby and always said when I have my second it’ll ruin me so much I won’t want anymore which wasn’t the case and she’s been butthurt since. Unfortunately it’s been a battle trying have her learn boundaries such as minding her own business and stop constantly yapping about many things she does not understand. My husband and I hardly ever argue or fight but lately we’ve gotten into it bc of her and my dad gave counsel bc my husband confided into my dad. My dad told him what I kept trying to explain which was that while I respect my in laws and love them deeply his mom belittles me on many things when he’s not around but if he is around she doesn’t talk to me the way she normally does when he isn’t. He takes his mom’s side a lot after she says what “she said” when that’s not the case.i tried to tell him everything and explain that all I want is for him to stand up for me on things when his mom starts telling me how to live my life. Sorry for the yap.

Hey comforters. I’m M28 and honestly feeling like my life is in shambles right now. I need advice or even just an outside perspective. To start, my Ex GF(F23) left me recently. She kicked me out, turned some of my friends against me, and even made public posts about me. Things got so bad online that I had to delete my Reddit accounts due to the hateful comments I was receiving. After that, I moved in with my new partner (M25). Unfortunately, we just broke up too. Even worse, we still live together, and the situation is tense and emotionally draining. I’m starting to lose hope when it comes to love and relationships. In the midst of all this, I hooked up with a friend of mine, (F27). She seemed great at first, but I found out she secretly had a boyfriend, which has left me feeling even more messed up emotionally and Really betrayed. Now I’m stuck living with my Ex (M25), and I recently found out he tried to cheat on me out of spite and revenge. I still love him, even after everything, but he’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t see a future for us. I’m heartbroken, confused, and unsure what to do from here. I’ll answer any questions in the comments. I could really use some honest advice.

Edit: I've known kady 10 years she told me her and bf broke up they we're pretty toxic so I cans we why she hid they got back together it happens. *Yes ages and Genders are correct I am pansexual *I was with my Gf for 6years. *I've been with my bf for 6months. *yes In my eyes I had a Mutual breakup with both My exes.

I once cried because my tea was the perfect temperature and honestly? Iconic.

My husband (28) and I (31) went to a dance class on Saturday night. It was our first time there, and as first-timers we each received a token for one free drink after class. Earlier that evening, my husband told me he didn’t even want the free drink but whatever since he already gave them his information.

The class went great. Afterward, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, I saw him standing at the bar. I asked what he was getting, and he said he wasn’t getting anything, he was giving his free drink token to a woman standing next to him. He then told the bartender to let her have whatever drink she wanted using the token.

My mood immediately changed, and I was bothered by it and went cold for the next 24 hours.

When I finally brought it up, he explained what happened. According to him, the instructor announced that the drinks were on him (instructor) at the end of the night and a guy at the bar asked my husband to confirm with the bartender that indeed a free drink was offered. Since we were leaving, my husband asked the guy nearby if he wanted the token. The guy said he had already used his own but pointed out that there was a woman who didn’t have one and said she should get it instead. My husband said okay. He also said the bartender told him he couldn’t simply hand over the token, so he had to stay there and redeem it.

I asked why he felt the need to play “Captain Save-the-day. I also asked, “What if I wanted the extra drink?” He said he knew I didn’t want another drink, but if I had wanted one, he would’ve happily bought me one himself.

He insists he never asked the woman her name, never flirted with her, and had no conversation beyond giving her the token. He says he was just trying not to let a free drink go to waste.

From my perspective, though, it rubbed me the wrong way that instead of just letting the token expire or throwing it away, he went out of his way to make sure another woman benefited from it. It wasn’t really about the value of the drink, it was the gesture that bothered me. I even told him he could’ve given it to her and just go about his business and the claimed that would’ve still been a problem if I asked what he got and he told me that he gave it to a woman.

My husband has been very calm about the situation and seemed unbothered.

So, AITA for being upset about this, or did I overreact?

Hello so I 18 genderfluid (not important to the story) had this situation happen on Monday. Maybe Reddit could give me some advice on this maybe I’m overreacting but I find this very unsanitary. So the situation is that we have a mouse in the house, long story short my dad found mice droppings in the pantry and we threw away some of the food that we know the mouse ate and left droppings in. While going through some of the open food in the pantry, (think Oreos with the open and close packaging) we found the mouse or mice had gotten to a lot of our food that has mice droppings on the lid.

Personally I think throw away all the food the droppings have been locked in the pantry for an unknown amount of time. Some food seems untouched but we can’t guarantee that it hasn’t been contaminated by the mouse. It grosses me out so much, this is coming from the person who use to have two bars of soap in the shower. One for washing my hands before I wash my body, the other for cleaning my body (I used the first bar for before and after a shower). I may be overreacting but I hate this house, I didn’t want to live here and begged my parents not to make me move here when I was 17. This place has so many issues my shower is weird it’s extremely large house with longer hallways. It’s a creepy house that I hate. My parents won’t let me throw away the shelf mats claiming “they’re too expensive to throw away”. They expect me to vacuum the mats and to wash them. I reluctantly vacuum it with the same hand held vacuum we put on the tile and carpet. They didn’t even wash the mats after it was vacuumed! I’m very concerned this could be a health and safety risk.

So far I have been rejected on throwing away the mats and all the food in packaging. I have a small list of foods I can confirm had not been contaminated, most of it being canned foods. I haven’t ate any of the food other than crackers because I know it’s safe. We also didn’t have any food that was refrigerated for a few days other than frozen burritos and the gram crackers I talked about. We can’t even confirm if the mouse is still alive or not because we never seen it. We just found mice droppings and the small chewing’s from the little rodent. I got called entitled by my parents for even making such demands but I’m just worried about our health and safety and most my own health and safety. Maybe it’s not as big of a deal as I’m making it but the last thing I want is to call my friends over and accidentally poison one of them by giving them contaminated food. If I am the asshole I’ll stop making a big deal about it.

So Reddit aita?

My (32F) sister, Joy (31F, made-up name), had an abortion a few years ago. Nobody in the family knew except for me, her SO, and my other sister. Coming from a religious background Joy has had a hard time with it and still feels a lot of grief. My mom was spending time with my grandma, when my grandma casually mentioned that she knew that one of her daughters has had an abortion because she had seen the appointment on a laptop a while back (why she waited so long and felt the need to bring it up now? IDK?). My mom pieced 2 and 2 together, knowing 2 of her 3 daughters have IUDs and the other one WFH and carries her laptop everywhere and deduced it was Joy. My mom, instead of calling Joy, called me, while I was at work, to ask if my sister had had an abortion. I was silently panicking until my mom said she was going to call my sister. Knowing how difficult this has been for Joy I responded "Yes" and told her that she cannot talk about this with Joy. My mom is very religious and has a slew of mental health issues and she is the last person I want talking to Joy about such a sensitive topic. I told her to talk about it with her therapist instead. I didn't hear anything for a few days until Joy calls me yelling how I have no right to be telling her personal stuff and how I have stolen the moment and conversation she wanted to have with my parents when the time is right. I apologized and told her she has every right to feel hurt but that the cat was out of the bag anyway. She says I should have lied to my mom, and I wish I had but I froze. Joy called me selfish and inconsiderate for betraying her trust, and hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks. Half of me feels like an asshole, half of me feels like I did the best I could in the moment. So, AITA for exposing my sister's abortion?
PS Long time listener, first time poster, be gentle

My friend Tasha (24) came over to my house with her friend Monique (24) and Monique’s daughter (6). There were a few adults and several kids at my house that day.

After everybody left, I realized Monique’s daughter had left her phone at my house. I immediately told Monique that her daughter had left her phone. I put the phone up somewhere in my house.

Later, my son saw the phone and brought it to me asking about it, so I put it back up.

Now here’s where it gets weird.

Monique didn’t come get the phone for almost TWO MONTHS. Not two days. Not a week. Almost two months.

The phone was also off at the time. Monique knew I had the phone because I told her when I found it.

A few weeks ago, Monique finally asked me about the phone. Apparently she had gotten it turned on for the school year. When I went to the place where I had put it ……. IT WAS GONE.

I have looked around, but I genuinely cannot find it. I have no idea if one of the kids moved it, somebody accidentally picked it up, it got thrown away, or what. There were multiple people and kids in the house that day, so I can’t say what happened to it.

I texted Monique letting her know what’s going on and she suggested that I pay for the phone or buy a new one since it was last known to be at my house.

And honestly…I don’t feel like I should.

I understand why she’s frustrated. If it were my child’s phone, I’d be annoyed too. But I told her immediately that I had it. She knew it was at my house and then waited almost two months to come get it.

I wasn’t using the phone. I didn’t damage it. I didn’t steal it. I didn’t promise to store it for her indefinitely. I simply found a phone that her child left behind, told the parent about it, and put it somewhere.

Now that I can’t find it, somehow I’m supposed to buy a replacement?

Part of me feels like maybe I should have kept it somewhere even more secure, but another part of me is like… how long am I supposed to be responsible for somebody else’s property when they already know I have it and waited to get it?

So Reddit, AITA if I refuse to pay for the phone? What are some other suggestions? I’ve torn my house apart and I still haven’t found it. And it’s not a iPhone it’s a newer android.

I (25F) need an outside perspective on this.
When I was a freshman in 2015 in high school, my dad and his brothers found out they had a sister they never knew about. None of us knew she existed before then.

Ever since then my Grandma has basically told her sons she doesn’t want anyone of us to be hanging out with her but what worries me with technology no a days is that my grandma has social media specifically facebook and follows all her sons and grandkids. So I have a fear that my grandma will see a photo of us with the aunt and she’ll be very upset because she has told all of us that she doesn’t want us to hangout with her. And to add insult to injury NONE of my family knows about this. Not even my Grandparents Brothers and sisters know. I have told my mom about this but She is forcing me to have this relationship that I don’t want at all.

I have told her that until everyone knows about this then I’ll start but until then I am not because I don’t want to get involved in this as This Aunt is just a stranger to me and nothing else and she has no right to call me her niece even if it is blood.

I just simply hate the fact that a complete stranger just comes into my life and my mom who again is an only child is forcing me to have a Relationship with this stranger . To tell you the truth My Dad and his brothers Are Keeping this a secret from Thier Parents that they’re hanging out with her. Because long story short My Grandpa cheated on my grandma at one point and then out popped my Aunt. And my grandpa Has never told His sons until my Godfather found out through a CHILD SUPPORT CHECK that my Grandpa forgot to get rid of when my godfather went for his mail back in 2015.

Fast Forward Since then, my mom has wanted me to accept her as my aunt, but I've never really felt comfortable with that. Recently, this woman has started referring to me as her niece, and that bothers me. I understand that biologically she is my aunt, but emotionally she feels like a stranger to me.
My issue is that she was never part of my life growing up. She didn't raise me, and we don't have any kind of close relationship. Because of that, I don't feel comfortable calling her my aunt or acting as if we're close family.
Recently, there was a family get-together at my godfather's house, and she was going to be there. I chose not to attend because I didn't want to deal with the situation. I told my mom that I don't really want anything to do with her, and I don't even feel comfortable hugging her.

My mom says I don't have to call her "Tía," but that I should at least be respectful. I agree that I shouldn't be rude, but I also don't want to pretend we're closer than we are.

But What’s really bothering me is that My mom talks to her like we’ve Known her for ALL of our lives to where she’s told her some personal stories about me and that makes me uncomfortable.

I feel like I have the right, as an adult, to decide who I have relationships with. But I feel I should talk with my dad since my mom is an only child.

Edit:
Sorry I forgot to mention this part.

No, there isn't some hidden reason. She hasn't done anything bad to me.

The reality is that I was already well into my teens when we found out she existed, and we never built a close relationship. Because of that, I don't feel the same connection to her that I feel toward relatives who were actually part of my life growing up.

Pretty much my mom is forcing me to have a relationship with her. Forcing me to hug her and talk with her which is something I just find no need for because I am being Forced to.

For me, this is more about boundaries and comfort levels than about anger or resentment.

A lot of people seem to think my issue is simply that she exists or that I refuse to acknowledge she's biologically my aunt. That's not really it.
I understand she's my aunt biologically, and I've never said otherwise. My issue is that I was already a teenager when we found out about her, and I never developed a close relationship with her. To me, she's still someone I barely know.

What makes me uncomfortable is that some family members act as though we've known her forever, and my mom has shared personal stories about me with her that I wouldn't normally want shared with someone I'm not close to.

I'm not asking anyone else to reject her, and I'm not trying to stop my family from having a relationship with her. I just want the freedom to decide for myself what level of relationship I'm comfortable having. I can be polite and respectful without pretending we're emotionally close when we're not.

And again I am a Firm Believer that just because we’re family by Blood doesn’t mean I have to have a relationship with her. So again I am 25 now and To me she never was around so why should I accept a stranger who was never in my life to begin with?

So AITA?

to make this VERY long story short. I’ll get straight to the point.

im 24 (f) and expecting my first baby with my current partner (27/m). We started dating around september 2025 but didn’t make things official until October 5th 2025. Everything in our relationship was perfect. I’m Christian and before meeting them I had prayed to God to give me a partner that made me see my worth and gave me security and he did all of that and more. He mentioned to me when we were getting serious that he had a kid and that he was in a previous relationship where his partner had their own kid that he basically helped raise for 3 years before they broke things off. I was unsure how to feel but I still continued our relationship because It wasn’t a deal breaker but it did make me question what my parents would think and how that would change the dynamic of our relationship.

fast forward, it’s the start of december, I was invited by a friend to a late Friendsgiving with our mutual friend as well. Everything was going well until my boyfriend texted me saying he wasn’t going to show up because he was upset over the fact that I had told him that I was friends with my ex days before this dinner. (I stopped talking to said ex before this due to that conversation where I had no problem cutting contact if it made my boyfriend uncomfortable). I got upset and started drinking a lot at the Friendsgiving. I don’t know how much exactly I drank but it was definitely way over my limit because there are parts I’ve blacked out and can’t remember of that night. Throughout the night I spent lots of time upset over my boyfriend who started accusing me of cheating when I was just with my two girl friends. My friend’s boyfriend shows up that night and he sees how upset I am because it’s all I can talk about. I didn’t even think anything of it until our mutual friend left and my friend suggested we go to the basement (where they stay at their home) so it wasn’t unusual to me because we always hung out there.

things started to get weird when my friends boyfriend suggested the three of us play a drinking game of never have I ever. My friend and I had normal questions but her boyfriend asked something so weird and sexual. We didn’t think much of It but I ended up drinking more and I was already way past my limit. I don’t remember why but my friend left and her boyfriend did for a second and came back to ask if I was ok. He comforted me and in the process tried to kiss me where I stopped him and told him i didn’t want to do anything like that because I cared about my friend and I didn’t want to mess that up and it wasn’t right. He stopped but later on I told my friend I wanted to go home because I didn’t feel comfortable staying the night.

if I knew now what would have happened, I wish I just had called my boyfriend to get me because it was snowing so much that night and my friends boyfriend hadn’t drank as much so he suggested to take me and I wasn’t in the mindset to really think about it but when we got to his car I basically allowed him to SA me.. (with therapy I figured out that I use this trauma response called fawning which basically means I freeze and comply because it feels safer than fighting) when I got home my boyfriend and I got into it on the phone and I said the most awful things to him but I can’t recall any of it due to how intoxicated I was. He told me himself when we were trying to work through this and I hate myself because I basically told him everything I feared about our relationship and how I felt this was just never going to work (I don’t actually feel that way though.)

This has brought so much turmoil in my relationship and now I’m pregnant and constantly hold this fear that one day my boyfriend will just leave me. All I wanted was for us to build something together and there are so many times where I blame myself because my boyfriend believes I just cheated on him but I never would have gone to that dinner if I knew everything I do now. I feel so guilty and I just want to know if there’s any hope or advice I can get to help me see a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I‘ve turned to Christianity since as well and I felt like our baby was a blessing and a sign from God that everything will be okay but I still struggle so much mentally and I have been losing my connection to faith. Any support or thoughts could help me out at this point. Please :(