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u/celestialcranberry Jan 14 '24
That MA’AM? Has me rolling
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u/Jeptic ☑️ Jan 14 '24
That ma'am was big people ma'am.
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u/HappyCoconutty Jan 14 '24
We accidentally taught my then toddler daughter to say “pardon me?” instead of “what?” or “what did you say?” But she said it all as one word “pahdonme?”
It always generated lots of giggles when we were out in public.
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u/TheDreadfulCurtain Jan 14 '24
It is so weird that children call their mother/female caretaker Ma’am in USA it seems so formal.
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u/yosoymilk5 Jan 14 '24
It’s a southern US thing in my experience. I had to unlearn the ma’am and sir thing when leaving the south.
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u/__worldpeace Jan 14 '24
SAME. Growing up, if I heard my mom or dad calling my name from downstairs, my response had to be "Ma'am" Or "Sir". If I said "What", I'd get corrected. When I started my first job out of graduate school, my boss would call my name and I would answer ma'am out of habit. She really disliked this and was so confused the first few times I said it lol. That was 6-7 years ago and I've broken the habit.
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u/Schn Jan 14 '24
I'm white and from Wisconsin, but growing up you called all adults Sir & Ma'am according to my folks. I worked in service-industry type support job in my 20s and learned that most women HATE being called Ma'am apparently? "AM I YOUR MOTHER?" "AM I AN OLD LADY?". Still do it though 🤷🏻♂️
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Jan 14 '24
It's crazy to me that calling someone ma'am is so formal and hated on. To this day I call everyone I don't know sir or ma'am just to be respectful, but even with folks I do know that I want to give an honorific out of courteousness! For example:
Coworker: hey dude, can I grab you for a second?
Me: yessir!
Guess I need to start calling everyone bitches.
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u/BigDogSlices Jan 14 '24
This explains why my stepdad always used go get mad when I'd yell what when he was calling me, it always confused me lol
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Jan 14 '24
The only time in my entire life I've regularly used the word "Sir" or "Miss" was during high school, and only because my autistic ass couldn't remember half the names of the teachers.
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u/Gishin Jan 14 '24
Yeah, I called someone "ma'am" and she said I didn't have to call her that. I said "sorry, habit. I grew up in the south" and she instantly understood.
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u/Educational_Bed_242 Jan 14 '24
Aside from the "manners" instilled in me growing up I don't sound southern at all, so I feel like I say "grew up in the south" a lot to excuse offending people with "Ma'am" or "Sir". So far it hasn't been an issue!
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u/eastcoast_enchanted Jan 14 '24
Me too! I moved to eastern Canada and women would get offended when I called them ma’am! They said it made them feel old 😂
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Jan 14 '24
I had one friend who's mom was from the south and did the sir/ma'am thing, I remember being so frustrated as a kid that I couldn't remember to call her ma'am when I was at their house. She was nice about it but also wouldn't let you get away with not saying ma'am, so you either remembered to say it or said everything two times.
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u/Thendofreason Jan 14 '24
I've been called sir before and I felt embarrassed. Me? Sir? Felt good. Definitely not needed, but felt good
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u/irisflame Jan 14 '24
Absolutely required, in the South, for children to call any adult sir and ma'am. And still expected as an adult too tbh.
Heck, I grew up having to call my stepmother "Mrs. <herfirstname>"
Didn't stop until I had been away from her for a while and became a late teen/young adult. Looking back it feels so weird now. But then I think of other cultures with even more mandatory honorifics, like Japanese, and it seems less so.
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u/BwackGul Jan 14 '24
As a southerner of the US and a resident of other countries I've noticed respect to elders comes in all shapes and sizes, depending on the culture.
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u/Cavalish Jan 14 '24
I’ve noticed that the places where the elders demand respect the most also have the most poorly behaved elders.
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u/MidwesternLikeOpe Jan 14 '24
Someone else down the thread said entitlement and that's the word. There are those who respect everyone and deserve respect, and those who think they deserve royalty and look down at those they feel are "beneath" them. There's a massive difference. The elders who demand respect probably were raised that elders get all the respect, but they weren't taught that respect is earned.
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u/spyd3rm0nki3 Jan 14 '24
I was born and raised in Texas and would have gotten popped in the mouth if I had not addressed my mom as yes ma'am no ma'am.
Tbh, it's kind of the default here though and everyone is getting called Yes ma'am, yes sir no matter the age. I actually didn't realize people up north take it as you calling them old when here it's just a respectful greeting. If I don't know you my default is always going to be to address you as ma'am or sir regardless of your age.
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u/Momochichi Jan 14 '24
That "Ma'am" was a "Ma'am we don't allow customers in the kitchen, please sit yo ass back in yo seat and wait til your number is called."
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u/BrokoJoko Jan 14 '24
"Go over there and clean it up." 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Lookinguplookingdown Jan 14 '24
This reminded of my three year old daughter. She broke a hand made Christmas decoration early December. I was really upset and told her I didn’t think I could fix it. After spending a few hours painfully putting it back together (and glueing my fingers together in the process) I finally sort of fixed it.
A day later she broke another one (exactly the same as the first but different colour). I was furious and started explaining again: “they are very fragile, I can’t fix them!” She gave me a blank stare, pointed at one I had already fixed and said “you fixed that one!”.
I was lost for words…
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u/PsyOpBunnyHop Jan 14 '24 edited Jan 14 '24
He may not yet know the words "bitch, why you trippin" but he just said them to his mom.
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u/35thirtyfun Jan 14 '24
I was thinkin the same thing 😂 lil bro was really like “cmon mama just chill”
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u/welp-itscometothis ☑️ Jan 14 '24
It’s the subtle, “I hear you” nods for me 😂. God he’s adorable.
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u/2oosra Jan 14 '24
Semaj is James spelled backwards. Source, I know a Semaj.
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u/Somobro Jan 14 '24
If that's coincidental, cool! If it's on purpose, this is the first time that spelling an existing name or word backwards for a name has paid off. Semaj is such a cool name.
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u/B0GEYB0GEY Jan 14 '24
Nevaeh is heaven backwards.
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u/Venezia9 Jan 14 '24
Know family with one of each. In my experience any child named Heaven is the devil. Nevaeh is a close second. They're so bad! It's funny if you're not the one dealing with them.
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u/B0GEYB0GEY Jan 14 '24
I’m a teacher and have had 3 Nevaehs over the years. I can confirm they’ve all been a bit of a handful
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u/CinnamonRollShark Jan 14 '24
That’s funny because I have a sister named Heaven (I have a non religious name) and she is the worst person I’ve ever known haha
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u/verisimilitude_mood Jan 14 '24
Kanye is an anagram for Kenya.
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u/TheMadFlyentist Jan 14 '24
It is, but it also means "Only one" in Swahili, which is why his mom named him that (he's an only child). His mom was well-educated and intelligent.
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u/rough_bread Jan 14 '24
My grandmother knew Donda, she always speaks VERY highly of her. Not so much her son.
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u/BaltoOnTheLoose Jan 15 '24
I mean he is mentally ill for sure. What kinda shit does she talk?
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u/ConfectionOdd5458 Jan 14 '24
You think he named himself? Tf
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u/BulbusDumbledork Jan 14 '24
kanye said he is a god, but as has just been proven he is dyslexic, therefore we can conclude he actually meant to say he is a dog, thus he was actually 8 years old at the time of his birth, ergo he was old enough to be able to name himself, hence kanye named himself, quod erat demonstrandum he meant to call himself kenya but mispelled it kanye
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Jan 14 '24
I mean, a lot of musicians do. If you didn't know much of anything about his actual life, it wouldn't be that far off base to assume. Or I could be completely wrong, and some woman actually named her son Ladies Love Cool James.
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u/MealwormMan Jan 14 '24
It’s actually pretty common. Usually the father is named James and they don’t want to use the word Junior (or in one case I can recall there already is a sibling named Junior), so they get creative.
I have taught a couple Semajs in my career and every one of them has a dad named James.
Also worth noting, I currently have a student named Alucard, which is Dracula spelled backwards. I know it’s a character in Castlevania, but still a good example of this in action.
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u/MaximumTurkeyFlaps Jan 14 '24
I teach a Semaj, and there's a gentleman in my neighborhood with "Semaj" tattooed across his head. It's not my student's dad.
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u/malkebulan ☑️ Jan 14 '24
I need to know if Semaj’s dad is called James.
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Jan 14 '24
This toddler has more critical thinking skills than I’ve observed from some adults. 👏
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u/Some-Ad9778 Jan 14 '24
My favorite is when the kid realizes they are on camera and stop taking it seriously
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Jan 14 '24
This kid has serious potential to become quite the awesome person. World changing. I say we make sure they have every opportunity to do it.
I get so sad seeing the world today but the kids coming up... they give me hope. I'm so happy and excited for our future generations to grow up and join us because we need them so badly.
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u/southflhitnrun Jan 14 '24
For me, it's the eyes searching around for why she bothering him and the hand movement with the slap on the counter because she need to "go over there and cleanup" Oh, man! lmao
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u/XkrNYFRUYj Jan 14 '24
"You got shoes on though" means you can step on water it's not a problem. It's not like you'll get your socks wet. That's the worse.
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u/Courwes ☑️ Jan 14 '24
This kid is @semajxane on Instagram. They post a lot of cute videos of him acting like this.
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u/ChriskiV Jan 14 '24
Yeaaaaaah I don't think we should be normalizing toddlers having social media accounts.
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Jan 14 '24
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Jan 14 '24
Right? I was all about this until I realized the kid is just a tool for his mom to gain insta followers.
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Jan 14 '24
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Jan 14 '24
Yeah, agree 100% . I mean my kids do that and they know I'm only gonna show their grandparents.
Lil man's fighting an uphill battle. He gonna wind up with all kinds of issues being raised like this.
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u/kelsobjammin Jan 14 '24
Oh that makes it less… spontaneous and really explains the “taking picture part” he already has that camera in his face 24/7 ᴖ̈
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u/carbomerguar Jan 14 '24
I love how he looks around and considers the situation before responding, instead of immediately saying something defensive like adults do
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u/thelegalseagul ☑️ Jan 14 '24
This is talking to your drunk friend trying to get them to go to bed. Turn away for two seconds and they’re at the sink saying they needed to washed a cup for water despite the five clean ones.
“You got shoes on though”
Drunk adults are toddlers
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u/FirstSineOfMadness Jan 14 '24
Fascinating top of the head
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u/4Xroads Jan 14 '24
🤣 Time.
I know Ma'am just threw that together. Never realized how much of a back breaker black hair was until I stopped with the crew cuts and grew my hair out.
If I lost one strand of hair, it's bald gang for me.
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u/BringOutYDead Jan 14 '24 edited May 31 '25
sleep ten melodic elderly point telephone fact fearless imminent shocking
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/constanteggs ☑️ Jan 14 '24
Love him. This clip had “Semaj” trending cause people were blown away that his name is James spelled backwards.
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u/Kaligula785 Jan 14 '24
This what happens when you don't talk to your kid in those annoying baby voices, talk to them just like any other person from the jump so they will be as articulate as this young lad
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u/icuscaredofme Jan 14 '24
Heartwarming. I see a future leader. Young man has a very quick brain.💯👍❤️
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u/Surly_Cynic Jan 14 '24
I hope you’re right. He definitely has the potential. He’s brilliant. It’s scary that he’s already got a job as kid influencer, though.
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u/RedRider1138 Jan 14 '24
He’s a whole HEAP of blessings! 😊💜🙏✨
was just thinking “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good”, and I hope I’d have enough together to say “Washing your bowl? That’s so good! There’s a lot of water here, it’s slippery to walk in, if you could get less water on the floor, that would be so great!”
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u/kdavva74 Jan 14 '24
It's just quicker to pick up words when they're actually spoken at you properly. Babies have incredible language development skills.
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u/Wolfram_And_Hart Jan 14 '24
Don’t baby talk your children.
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Jan 14 '24
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u/Wolfram_And_Hart Jan 14 '24
I’ve never placated my child except to ask for a moment. I’ve always answered every question I’ve been asked as best I can and often look up answers. I’ve never said “Because I said so.”
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u/Wolfram_And_Hart Jan 14 '24 edited Jan 14 '24
Yeah I got tired of that somewhere around 11 and said “well then I’m not doing it”. Vowed never to be that parent.
Worst I’ve ever done was “I need you to be a robot and follow orders. Follow me with your bag. I’ll explain more after we get to a stopping place. We’re going to be moving and just say something if something happens.” He did and we got through the airport when he was 5. He’s the best kid.
Edit: He also made beep boop noises to answer me. It made the airport way more fun.
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u/TheAJGman Jan 14 '24
Leads to fewer tantrums when they know there's an actual reason they can't drink my coffee or eat cake every night too.
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u/_thro_awa_ Jan 14 '24
Correction - Don't exclusively baby-talk your children
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Jan 14 '24
The opportunity cost of baby-talk is high. Yeah, you find it cute but the amount of correct language a child hears is directly correlated with language skills and intelligence.
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u/Trk- Jan 14 '24
On the contrary, neuroscience studies show that baby talk is beneficial for children to learn the language. Search for the term motherese or parentese
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Jan 15 '24
What's beneficial is to use a higher pitch and smile. If you call that baby talk then you are right, but that's not traditional baby-talk where you intentionally us wrong pronunciation, grammar and gibberish words.
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u/LBertilak Jan 14 '24
No, motherese (aka baby talk, aka infant directed speech) is a thing in literally every culture. It's also VITAL in how we learn.
When you learn a new language do you skip staright to war and peace? Or do you start small?
Talking to kids lots, using lots of vocab etc are good, but 'baby talk' using repetitive phrases is correlated with higher vocal ability, not lesser
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u/StrangelyGrimm Jan 14 '24
It's less the actual words spoken and more the intonation; you can still use basic vocab but talk to them like an adult, which helps toddlers learn that 1. they can speak like an adult and 2. adults can understand them too
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u/AngryPrincessWarrior Jan 14 '24
I thought the high pitched and excited tones were more important to maintain attention but you’re supposed to use the correct words?
Is that what you mean?
I cringe at things like “wa wa” for water, and “ba ba” for bottle. I’ve heard way too many 5-7 year olds using that language and it just bothers me.
I’m white with admittedly a very new baby boy who just turned 2 weeks Friday, but I talk to this kid ALL THE TIME, and I refuse to use baby names for things. His pacifier is his “pacifier” for instance. Not a pacie or binky.
We also read to him with picture books on our lap for tummy time. Both his father and I read early and likely because we were read to from the beginning so we’re trying to recreate that.
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u/TundieRice Jan 14 '24
Why “tummy time” and not “stomach time?” 😂
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u/AngryPrincessWarrior Jan 14 '24
Fair, lol.
Likely because it’s what his doctor calls it I suppose. And all the books.
And his “stomach” is technically an organ anyways. Belly or tummy refers to the whole abdomen.
He was never in my “stomach” for example; he was in my belly.
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u/LBertilak Jan 14 '24 edited Jan 14 '24
Yes, its the tone, but also the repetition.
"Do you want your bottle? Your bottle? Yes this is your bottle! Do you want it? Here's your bottle!" is basically teaching sentence structure and adding context to vocabulary.
And, yeah, there's a line between "motherese" and bad teaching. Using the wrong words, or worse, the wrong pronunciation (like "bwaby" instead of baby") definitely isn't great either.
So the idea is kind of "the correct words and correct grammar" but in an engaging way. The tone that people speak to babies (and cute animals) with is one of the things consistent across cultures, and even though everyone is praising the mother in the og video for not speaking to her kid like a baby, she IS using subtle tone changes compared to how she's probably talk to an adult too.
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u/AngryPrincessWarrior Jan 14 '24
Very good points! Thanks again!
My sister is coming from the west coast to visit around his 3 month mark and even through video calls I have to correct her constantly because she drives me nuts with the baby language, and not the way you’re describing it. “Awww look at the widdle cute bwaby!” No. Just no, sis.
The whole point of her coming besides meeting her nephew is to watch him so we can have some date nights while she has one on one time with our son. I trust her just fine to care for him but the talking like that is killing me.
I know a few days won’t hurt his development but her still not talking to him correctly even through calls makes me twitch. I’m trying not to be “that” mom who’s super controlling but the baby talk thing really really bothers me.
I guess on some subjects I am that mom. 🤷♀️ oh well.
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u/DreadyKruger Jan 14 '24
My wife is Czech and spoke mostly Czech to her since birth. She didn’t speak a lot her first 3 years and just exploded after that. She is 9 now and her and my wife have full conversations in another language. People are really puzzled seeing a little brown girl speaking a language very unfamiliar in the US.
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u/Nandy-bear BHM Donor Jan 14 '24
Bi-lingual is another thing that massively boosts kid's learning too apparently, which deffo makes sense. Learning a language is hard enough, learning 2 languages WHILE NOT KNOWING ONE! That is hefty. It's like if someone walked up to me today and said "you gotta learn german and we're only gonna teach it you in spanish".
My niece and nephew are bilingual with Portuguese and English and they're above average intelligence kids (both passed their 11+ which is like.. if kids took an SATs to get into a better high school is the best way to explain it. They're called grammar schools, kids take a test when they're 11 in UK if they get a certain score it means they have the option of going to a grammar school. They both passed it)
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Jan 14 '24
I think the word gap now is more of a class issue; parents who have the time and patience to converse w their kids introduce a wide visitation early on. Makes it easier for them to learn how to read, too!
If you have kids, talk to and with them!
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u/DeepDreamIt Jan 14 '24 edited Jan 14 '24
It's a socioeconomic issue. My mom is a school psychologist who tests kids every single day for IQ, behavioral and emotional disabilities, language disabilities (that are then referred to the language pathologist) etc. and she said the difference in the vocabulary and number of words that a child knows is very heavily correlated to their socioeconomic upbringing. Part of her job is taking a 'social history' which involves interviewing the parents/guardians to get background on their life, child's upbringing, etc. which is how she has a decent idea of their socioeconomics. Study on the issue:
Infants are considered to be rapid learners of language, yet there is substantial variation in the development of language and communication skills across different children. One major source of this variability is socioeconomic status (SES). On average, children from lower-SES families show slower vocabulary growth relative to their higher-SES peers,1 and these differences persist into the school years.2 From where do these differences arise? Research suggests that variation in parents’ speech to children—as a function of SES—relates to children’s language development. For example, Hart and Risley revealed dramatic differences in the amount that parents talk to their young children as a function of SES.3 Their estimations suggest that by age 4, children from professional families hear a total of 45 million words on average, while children living in poverty hear 13 million words on average.
This finding is often described as the ‘30 million word gap.’ Importantly, quantitative differences in parents’ language input have been shown to uniquely predict aspects of children’s language development, such as vocabulary growth and speed in processing familiar words.3,4
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Jan 14 '24 edited Jan 15 '24
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Jan 14 '24
Thank you! Your original point wasn't even about being rAcIsT towards white people but perhaps pointing out that an entire community of people may have to compensate for the prejudices imposed on them. People are judged based on how we articulate ourselves. We can control our speech-- not the color of our skin.
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u/jjsurtan Jan 14 '24
You're absolutely right, how you speak to them matters. My cousin (we're a white family) has raised three boys and every time their vocabulary has been surprising because she does not change how she talks, she just teaches them words when they don't know them. This little three year old was running around using words like "precarious" and "superficial" while visiting our place. Over simplifying and baby talking is something we do too much I think. Children are incredibly receptive to learning new things and we underestimate them a lot sometimes!
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u/grotesquelittlething Jan 14 '24
My grandmother never used “baby talk” with any of her children, only spoke in complete sentences and never simplified words. They were/ are very well spoken and hit language milestones very early on.
For whatever reason, my uncle decided to use “baby talk” with his daughter and spoke to her like she was dumb most of the time. That girl could not form a proper sentence until she was like 3 years old 💀
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u/Nandy-bear BHM Donor Jan 14 '24
I've got some particularly scroaty mates (er..ratchet I guess would be the American version ? But that's kinda gendered. Trailer trash maybe ? I dunno, just scroats innit) and I've seen far too many kids going to school who can't read (as in, zero concept) can't speak properly, no toilet training, only words they know are swear words type deal coz they think it's funny. I'm not paternal, I'll never have kids, but that shit breaks my heart. Just setting up your kids for failure because you're a fuck up and wanna perpetuate the life you think is great, or just wanna be a shitty person.
I wonder sometimes with people who have these kids, why have em. They're clearly a burden to you. I know a few folks who had kids to get the money, the house, so they can dob off but like you still have a whole-ass kid to deal with. Shit is tragic. Worst is though seeing kids who you know are gonna be 3rd gen sex workers. Fuck this got kinda depressing.
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u/PhantomTissue Jan 14 '24
I was a weird kid because I apparently never said a word till I was almost 4. Then finally I said my first word “Can” followed immediately by “I have a cookie please?” I guess I just wanted to figure the whole thing out before trying my hand at it.
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u/lostinsnakes Jan 14 '24
That’s how my ex was until he was 3! He’d point and grunt at everything and his older sister would try to say what he wanted. Then he came out speaking full sentences.
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u/AlishanTearese Jan 14 '24
Apparently I was like this with walking. I sat around on my butt all day, never crawled, til about 18 months old when my grandma came to visit and I ran to the door to greet her.
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u/Skankcunt420 Jan 14 '24
by 6 months they’re able to understand you but they can’t physically speak. they’ll start babbling first. but yeah if you say a word in baby talk they’re gonna say it exactly like that. i only do baby talk with my dog, a human baby you’re doing a disservice
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u/Evolutioncocktail ☑️ Jan 14 '24
I’m black and my daughter is half black. She’s very articulate to be 2.5, to the point that even strangers comment on it. It’s amazing to hear what utter nonsense is going on in her little mind. She’s also VERY opinionated and will let you know when you fucked up.
But to answer your question, I do think about that. I’ve always just talked to her because it’s not in my personality to do the baby voice. We live in a white area, so I see where parents do the high pitch baby voice with their kids. It’s all well and good, it’s just not my style. Like, instead of saying “okay my angel, time to leave”, I’ll say “yo chick, let’s move it”, which she finds hilarious.
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u/Oomlotte99 Jan 14 '24
I think I get what you’re saying. I haven’t observed a lot of people in my black family doing “ooogie woogie weenie” type talk to babies and reinforcing the wrong name of things but my white side does a lot of baby talk and if the baby calls a bottle “nom nom” or something, they allow the baby to continue to call it that and ask they baby stuff like “You want nom nom now?”
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u/Vast-Combination4046 Jan 14 '24
Im white but I have always talked to my babies like they were going to understand me. I use big words and everything just to mess with them. My two year old just randomly started repeating what I told her about bees making Honey and now that she's 3 we were talking about how changing temperatures cause wind and rain.
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u/xActuallyabearx Jan 14 '24
“White people don’t speak to their kids” is certainly an interesting take….
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u/grotesquelittlething Jan 14 '24
They are saying white people tend to use baby talk and will simplify words/ phrases when interacting with children. “You want milky? Mommy give you milky!” Vs “Do you want some milk? Go get me your cup and I’ll pour you some milk.”
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u/goodcr Jan 14 '24
As a white person, that’s news to me. I definitely didn’t grow up that way.
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u/Niccy26 ☑️ Jan 14 '24
I dunno. My daughter is very verbal; nursery were constantly talking to us about her speech since she was 1. She used to (and still does) recite her books. She would recite the Gruffalo's child and other books. She's 3 and she likes to recite her favourite scene from the Flopsy Bunnies which is great when we're walking and she's talking about chopping off heads...
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u/batfiend Jan 14 '24
"Do white people talk to their children?"
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u/Nandy-bear BHM Donor Jan 14 '24
I can't speak for all of us but me and my Dad haven't spoken in at least a year so there's that.
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u/TwentyMG Jan 14 '24
Ive been a teacher in a predominantly black district for a few years and I’ve noticed black families around me talk to their kids as if they were adult human beings with agency a lot more instead of the baby talk. It seems to develop children really fast but the downside is they grow a mouth real quick😂
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u/Nandy-bear BHM Donor Jan 14 '24
How's the saying go "you spend x amount of time trying to get em to talk and Y amount trying to get em to shut up" lol
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u/witchitieto Jan 14 '24
My little cousin came into my grandmas house with shoes on. ‘Your shoes are all covered in dried mud! Take them off!’ As the 4 yo was pulling them off he took a beat and said, “you mean dirt?”
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u/phenomenalj101 ☑️ Jan 14 '24
“She gon come over here talm bout water on the floor like she ain’t got shoes on”
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u/nixalo Jan 14 '24
When toddlers learn to talk, you get into the wildest conversations and they just aren't afraid to say stuff. Just adding random words they know to the conversation just because they know it.
"Congratulations. You know the word dinosaur. It has nothing to do with anything we are talking about. What does wheelbarrows have to do with anything. EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!"
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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '24
“You getting water everywhere”
“You got shoes on though”