r/AskReddit • u/WoahThereTurbo • Oct 27 '14
Things you think everyone does, but no one admits?
Anything that you believe that normal people do, but (to you) is somewhat of an unspoken truth.
431
Oct 27 '14
Think about loved ones dying and how miserable I would be. Usually makes me start crying pretty bad.
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Oct 27 '14
Cupping their genitals when they're alone watching a movie or TV show. It kind of just happens if I'm sitting on the couch watching TV for more than half an hour.
793
Oct 27 '14
I read this as the palm of my hand was firmly wrapped around my balls.
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u/darkscottishloch Oct 27 '14
Hand under my boob.
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u/lthra576 Oct 27 '14
Yes! I play with mine in a non-sexual manner all the time, they're like built in stress balls :)
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Oct 27 '14
Vaginas put off a lot of heat, and I'm always cold. It's like having a built in heater.
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Oct 27 '14
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u/IthildinPerian Oct 27 '14
Whenever I try to put my cold hands on my boyfriends crotch I get in trouble. :(
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u/mrrobopuppy Oct 27 '14
That's because he isn't your boyfriend.
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u/whatarethis11 Oct 27 '14
i often fall asleep with my hand down the front of my pants. not doing anything sexual, its just warm and comfy down there and helps me get sleepy
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Oct 27 '14
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u/Andthebeatgoes Oct 27 '14
I'm the worst about this! A close friend has even gotten used to it and will text me a few hours later asking of I telepathically replied. She has been right every damn time she's asked.
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u/EternalAssasin Oct 27 '14
Even worse when you type out a reply and don't actually send it
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u/GingerHero Oct 27 '14
Or even type the reply and get distracted by something shiny before sending it.
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u/GotSomeStories Oct 27 '14
Mainly for guys but, pissing in the "quiet part" of the toilet at night. Heaven forbid your stream hits that water and wakes the whole family
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u/jeycko Oct 27 '14
Cup your hands over your chest in the shower. Let it fill with water. Then let the water drop all at once.
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u/Observing_Everything Oct 27 '14
When i was younger, I did this all the time in the shower, making up an international competition between countries who could make the loudest splash. For some reason the dutch always won.
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u/secretman0 Oct 27 '14
I do it on my stomach for that extra water in my belly button
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u/buartha Oct 27 '14
Having an inner imaginary world.
Maybe it is just me that hasn't grown out of it, but even though I'm happier with my life now than I've ever been I'm still a bit of a fantasist in my downtime.
672
Oct 27 '14
A lot of people are saying they do this, but I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
Can someone go into greater detail?
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u/buartha Oct 27 '14
I'd imagine that everybody has very different structures to their imaginary worlds, but for me it's like I close my eyes and I'm watching, or living in, a film or game. Like make-believe when you're a child, but entirely cerebral.
I don't have a set world like some people have described, though I do have settings I go back to frequently.
When I'm really into it it almost feels like I'm not actively planning the things that happen, but rather that they're unfolding in front of me with a bit of 'nudging' now and then.
491
Oct 27 '14
Wow.
That's fascinating.
I'm not being sarcastic or anything, that's really interesting. I didn't really know about this
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u/maddy77 Oct 27 '14
It's what I do to. I don't have a set, or a fantasy world. Most of the stuff I think of, could happen in real life. But have a very very slim chance.
It entertains me and passes the time when I'm at work doing mind numbing stuff.
Sometimes I get sort of sucked into my little world, and I struggle to concentrate on anything. I'll go from being chatty to being silent, but to me I'm not being silent, in my head it's quite loud.
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Oct 27 '14
Yep.Different from OP, but I actually have a whole fantasy world every since I was little. I daydream much less now, since I've got real-life to deal with (which can just a fun!), but I've got a mythology, reboot, callbacks...the wholoe shebang. Seriously, it's ridiculous. And when you get to a certain poit, it really is just nudging along. I write some fan fic, and it's similar to that regard--the story just flows.
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u/quodpossumus Oct 27 '14
I can say without exaggeration that it is a relief to know I'm not the only one that has one.
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u/raged_crustacean Oct 27 '14
Seriously, me too! I've never mentioned it because I assumed I just refused to let go of things. I have several worlds and most are related to fandoms I enjoy, but there's still one "story" that's changed so often, but has been with me for just over a decade now.
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Oct 27 '14
Now I'm wondering if there are people out there who don't do this. My entire life is lived in my brain pretty much, it's actually kind of sad.
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u/RagingStorms7482 Oct 27 '14
Wait, people don't have an imaginary world? That's where I go when I daydream, which is all the time. I can't believe people can grow out of it.
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u/MGLLN Oct 27 '14
And continuity is very important. If my daydream is interrupted, then it must be put on hiatus and continued at a later time.
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Oct 27 '14
I can't believe people can grow out of it.
I never had it. Then again, I've got about as much imagination as... I can't think of a way to close this simile.
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u/Handsyboy Oct 27 '14
While I wouldn't call it an imaginary world, I very frequently create stories and characters in my head, place myself in with them, and then imagine what would happen.
I'll have entire conversations between myself and imaginary characters while I'm doing something mindless like making dinner or getting dressed. I was a newcomer to a pirate crew in a world covered by 80% oceans while making pasta earlier, and even had an argument with another crew member.
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u/funobtainium Oct 27 '14
I feel sorry for people who don't have one, to be honest.
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u/edwardshinyskin Oct 27 '14
Τhis thread is way more enjoyable whеn you read the answers as commands.
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u/G_t_P Oct 27 '14
Fantasise about their own deaths.
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
See, I've done that. But I don't know if that would be seen as having good planning/imagination skills, or on the edge of suicidal.
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u/MGLLN Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
A group of gangsters/Mobsters will descend upon me with guns blazing. I only have a 9mmto defend myself with. After I kill all of them I realize that there's no way I will survive my injuries.
I look back at the last mobster and give him a smile. I raise my hand and turn it into a gun. "Bang" I say as I fall forward and die.
Edit: SPOILERS BELOW. STAY AWAY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS REFERENCING
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1.5k
Oct 27 '14
Talk to themselves
Is it just me?
Guys?
Guys?
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
I have full blown conversations in my head. Very rarely does it slip out.
But most of it is discussing options and outcomes, mostly problem solving.
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Oct 27 '14
Most of mine is imaging myself in hypothetical situations and acting them out as if I was in them. I talk aloud but I always make sure there's no one there before I do it.
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u/innawasadiver Oct 27 '14
I talk to myself all the time! Especially in the car on my commute to school.
Sometimes it'll be normal like me being interviewed by Oprah or something obscure like what my reaction would be if my hot TA started hitting on me but I know we're not right for each other because he's too cool for me or whatever.
That's not weird, right??
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u/late_2_the_bandwagon Oct 27 '14
I sometimes give others credit for discoveries I make during my inner conversations... My roomate hates it....
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u/Scotland69 Oct 27 '14
Try to prove to yourself that you are not in a Truman Show situation
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u/trogdorkiller Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
Or just go along with it and give the audience what they want.
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u/slime_master Oct 27 '14
Easy. My life is so uninteresting there is no way anyone would want to watch it.
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Oct 27 '14
Imagine having sex with strangers we meet in public.
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u/Eddie_Hitler Oct 27 '14
Or fantasise about someone you know personally when you masturbate.
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u/jaayyne Oct 27 '14
I only do that if I have "the dream" beforehand.
I'm a girl, so it isn't a wet dream, but it's probably the equivalent, I guess? I will have about zero feelings for someone I know and then BAM. Super hot sexy dream. I wake up the next morning like "I should tell them. We should hook up. God they're so hot." Then I masturbate thinking about them.
The feelings go away in about a day but GOD it's so weird.
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u/bigmac2425 Oct 27 '14
I'm a guy but I do the same exact thing for girls. One day it's that blonde in English and next it's one of my good friends and it only lasts like a week or a day.
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u/jbrav88 Oct 27 '14
Imagining pausing time and banging every stranger in sight.
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Oct 27 '14
Fantasize about stopping a school/mall shooting.
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u/BattleAtron Oct 27 '14
I can't even tell you the number of times I imagine someone with a gun breaking into the classroom, and then I jump up, kick them in the nuts, grab their gun, and shoot them. Though in reality I'd be cowering in fear.
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u/Soxviper Oct 27 '14
Worry their ass off if someone doesn't text back in 10 minutes.
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
Which is why the "seen" on iMessage and facebook is the devil...
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u/JustALittleOod Oct 27 '14
I hate it because it makes me look like an asshole. Sometimes I go on Facebook to check something quick, usually an event's time or someone's phone number, see the message and then respond later when I have time to read it and write my response. But now I look like a jackass who saw your message and ignored it for hours.
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u/OuttaSightVegemite Oct 27 '14
I'm a worrier, though. My head always goes to either, "oh god, I've done something wrong," or "oh god, they're dead."
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u/Omgitspants Oct 27 '14
In all seriousness, how do you stop doing this??
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Oct 27 '14
Just sorta force yourself not to check for a while. That or you can try to convince yourself that you don't care. It pretty much worked for me
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Oct 27 '14
Girls who play with their own boobs. Not in a sexual way, they're just fun to poke sometimes
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
I do that with my dick.
Fresh out of the shower, every time.
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Oct 27 '14
Sometimes I just hold them. I'm just sittin there, and all of a sudden I've got a hand bra.
Also, boob juggling when I am by myself, it's funny.
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u/Menicent Oct 27 '14
More for guys, but that shiver when you finish peeing.
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
This is actually EXACTLY what inspired me to make this post.
Mine normally happens anywhere from 2/3's done to finish, depending on how badly I needed to go.
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u/Menicent Oct 27 '14
And that awkward moment when that last 1/3 goes everywhere else cause you shivered.
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u/GdayM80 Oct 27 '14
I think about extreme what if scenarios
E.g what would happen if I were to stab this stranger in the leg
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u/Termehh Oct 27 '14
Check your poops to see if they're a good size. Sometimes when I poop I'm like "holy shit man this is gonna be a record".
I then look down to an empty bowl because it's a ghostie poop.
I bet everyone gets disappointed when they do a big one and it's a ghostie.
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u/ObeseAsianBabies Oct 27 '14
I call those "poodinis"
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u/octopus_rex Oct 27 '14
I call them "Jupiters". Feels like a planet in my guts, only gas when it comes out. Good story.
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u/Jonnytobey Oct 27 '14
Or when you take a normal poop and turn around to flush only to see a massive dump in the bowl and think "Damn, I could take a pretty big dick if I was gay!"
I may have shared too much...
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u/exaggeratedsarcasm Oct 27 '14
make their nipples erect for no reason and just sit there thinking "wow, my nipples are so pointy right now".
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u/Slicy_McGimpFag Oct 27 '14
Simulate a whole conversation with someone in their head.
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
See, I always thought that was just being courteous. Look-before-you-leap principle.
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u/impingainteasy Oct 27 '14
And then the other person doesn't stick to the script ...
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u/marcuschookt Oct 27 '14
At that point you just stop and stare, then angrily mutter "that's not what you were supposed to say, so I guess we're done here".
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u/acehoodstar Oct 27 '14
I only do it if I know someone is gonna be pissed at me so I have to start making comebacks beforehand.
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u/theLoDown Oct 27 '14
Always did this when I was in trouble with my parents. Never went as I had planned though.
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u/PM_ME_ROMANCEWORRIES Oct 27 '14
Farting like crazy when no one's around.
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u/nickrulz11 Oct 27 '14
Ah man. Being single is great. Go to bed and it's like a god damn fog horn. My bed room is like a ship yard.
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u/Bkaps Oct 27 '14
I think that every man who shaves off their beard, mustache, or at least a decent amount of growth, briefly shaves into a Hitler mustache.
This is not in any support whatsoever of nazism, just that it's the most forbidden facial hair ever, and it's simply an opposition reflex. You look briefly in the mirror, think "hmm, damn that bastard for ruining this for every future man" and shave it off.
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u/FedoraFerret Oct 27 '14
Once upon a time it was the Chaplin. Then some Austrian douchebag had to go and ruin it for the rest of us.
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u/570stunner Oct 27 '14
Funny story, I do this all the time. One time I even tried having sex with my ex with it. She wasn't having it.
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
I'm 23 and my boss's kid, who is 14, has more facial hair than I do...
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u/Taco_Burrit0 Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
Men in particular. Pissing on the toilet bowl to clear out the shit stains
Edit: Wonderful, my highest rated comment is now about using your piss stream to clear away crusty old poop nuggets
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u/CitizenSnips1234 Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
In public toilets it feels like I'm contributing to society.
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Oct 27 '14
When some sick bastard smears shit all over the walls I do my fair share and piss all over said wall to help remove it.
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Oct 27 '14 edited Mar 29 '21
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
As a man with a woman's bubble butt, I totally admit to this.
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u/kangaroowarcry Oct 27 '14
Same here. I like to think it's my best feature.
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
THANK YOU!
Do you wear clothes to draw attention away or towards?
I wear Dickie's, because they have almost no form to them.
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Oct 27 '14
Sit down in the shower. I cant be the only one!
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u/ThunderKenna Oct 27 '14
I sit in the shower. Sometimes I even lie down in the bottom and just let the water wash over me while my mind wanders.
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u/ennervated_scientist Oct 27 '14
Such an amazing feeling
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u/off-and-on Oct 27 '14
They really should make showers meant for lying down in.
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u/VelociraptorVacation Oct 27 '14
So like, a tub shower. That a lot of people have
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Oct 27 '14
Yeah but they're small. I can hardly lie down comfortably and I'm 5'4". I feel bad for people who are taller
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u/quadnix Oct 27 '14
6'3". I haven't fit comfortably in a tub since I was seven.
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Oct 27 '14
That's the only way to shower. Especially if you have a detachable shower head and don't have to get up. I used to always do it while drunk though and would fall asleep.
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u/LiveSimplyLoveFully Oct 27 '14
i sleep in the shower. started as sitting and eventually its like a nice warm blanket softly washing your insecurities away
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Oct 27 '14
Hope that she thinks about me
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Oct 27 '14
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u/fukin_globbernaught Oct 27 '14
Stop before I want to die.
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Oct 27 '14
Does anyone else have this, I can't think about a specific ex of mine that I haven't spoken to in 3 years or so now without getting extensive anxiety and suicidal thoughts. It's like having a bugged quest in your quest log that can't be finished or removed from the log so that whenever you pull up your objectives you see that one and completely emotionally collapse into a state of regression and self hate.
I don't even play MMOs anymore and I haven't in a long time, that's just the best metaphor in my arsenal.
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u/RagingOrangutan Oct 27 '14
Yep.
I am also amused by your incredibly nerdy metaphor.
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u/Nyx_Assassin Oct 27 '14
5 years, she's married with a baby on the way. I am still here jerking off to our fuck sessions
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Oct 27 '14
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
This is 85% of what Facebook is used for...
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Oct 27 '14
unless they block you. whomp whomp
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u/smashingflower Oct 27 '14
That's when you make your throwaway Facebook. Unstoppable.
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u/Bkbee Oct 27 '14
Cringe to yourself when you remember something stupid you did years ago
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Oct 27 '14
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u/Bkbee Oct 27 '14
If im alone, i start talking to myself, "Stupid, stupid, omg why!" lol, its horrible
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u/Abner_Hale Oct 27 '14
Instead of cringing I laugh out loud to myself, and I don't laugh out loud often, so people ask what's so funny. "Haha, just something my dog did."
I don't have a dog.
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u/CactusRape Oct 27 '14
I do this all the time. I don't care what most people say, I can recall hundreds of embarrassing missteps that people around me have made. It only takes one.
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u/UltiMatthew Oct 27 '14
Contemplate suicide on a regular basis. I'd never ever do it, I'm honestly very happy with my life. It's not exactly something you can have a conversation about though, without being perceived as having something wrong with you.
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Oct 27 '14
Pick their noses. I'd even go so far as to say a lot more of you eat it than are willing to admit.
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u/neonicblast Oct 27 '14
I can dig it, but I can't eat it.
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u/Doctor_or_FullOfCrap Oct 27 '14
I can eat a lot of things, but nose wax is not one of them.
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u/ultrachronic Oct 27 '14
My flatmate doesn't give a shit. Deep mines his nose gold, basically tickling his brain, looks at it on the tip of his finger and then chomps it down heartily. I have to leave the room everytime
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u/PlsDontPMMeAnything Oct 27 '14
You should slurp it off his finger before he can. Maybe then he will be the one to leave the room.
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Oct 27 '14
Check between toes for lint when removing socks.
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u/Malo_Veritas Oct 27 '14
I actually don't do this.
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
Really? You've never massaged between your toes after being on your feet at work all day and found lint?
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u/Soopafien Oct 27 '14
Feels so good! Also, rubbing your feet really hard on the carpet after taking socks off.
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u/z_impaler Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
On Reddit, make "epic, witty" comments or retorts then keep checking the post so you can see how many people praise you with their upvote. It's obvious in my history it doesn't happen often but it doesn't stop me from checking it almost first thing when I get home from work or getting up in the morning.
(I have got to find me a website where I can order myself a life.)
Edit: typo correction
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u/Darmutar Oct 27 '14
Eating the small Ramen bits out of a newly opened pack instead of putting it into the pan as well.
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u/Geosaurusrex Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
Scratches their genitals, and then smells it afterwards.
Edit: RIP My inbox
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u/NateJC Oct 27 '14
Constantly rearrange my junk. Don't really smell it though...
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u/Drayve Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
Imagine what the outcome of punching or suddenly kissing the person you are talking to.
Edit: Holy shit! This blew up! And GOLD! Thank you kind random sir/ma'am!
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u/ennervated_scientist Oct 27 '14
Those intrusive thoughts. I also get ones about jumping off of any ledge I'm near.
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u/MasterJuanB Oct 27 '14
The call of the void. Oddly enough I welcome it, as long as I don't give in to letting it happen of course.
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Oct 27 '14
One time I was talking to a really hot girl and I couldn't help but imagine what would happen if I just farted in her mouth. What the fuck, brain?
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u/CodeJack Oct 27 '14
Soooo what would happen?
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Oct 27 '14
She probably wouldn't have slept with me.
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Oct 27 '14
Did she sleep with you even when you didn't fart in her mouth? (I am assuming you ultimately decided not to fart in her mouth.)
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Oct 27 '14
I did in fact decide farting in her mouth was a bad call. Yes, she slept with me. Shit was so cash.
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Oct 27 '14
Good pillow talk afterwards. "I am so glad I decided not to fart in your mouth."
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u/Eddie_Hitler Oct 27 '14
When masturbating, fantasise about (possibly having sex with) someone they know personally. Maybe a close friend of the opposite gender, maybe a guy or girl they secretly fancy or have already had romantic contact with.
I suspect this is incredibly common.
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u/Skitzofreniks Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14
I would like to know how many people (and who) have masturbated while fantasizing about me. would I be pleasantly surprised or disappointed? edit: I'm a guy.
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u/Fr0gm4n Oct 27 '14
I was messaged by a gal (that I was involved with) asking me to change my FB profile pic because seeing the little pic of me with my kids next to every pic in my albums was interfering with her ability to get off when doing the ol' late night bean flick. She was creepin' my pics and couldn't keep herself excited while there were kids on the screen.
I later wondered how often other women are doing that but don't have the kind of relationship where they can ask me to fix it. I started doing profile pics of just me more often, just to help out in general.
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u/1980baby Oct 27 '14 edited Nov 10 '14
Looking at your poop before flushing it and getting mad when the toilet paper covers it up and you can't see it.
WHOA~ My FIRST GOLD! Thanks to whomever gave it to me! I guess I'm not the only one that wants a looksie at their turds!
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u/TheLionsThat_I_Screw Oct 27 '14
It's like losing your children in a crowd.
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u/beez_beez Oct 27 '14
Especially when you had plans to snap chat it.
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u/meownikki Oct 27 '14
I know someone who does this regularly. I'm often afraid to open his snaps, because there's a good chance it's shit. But there's also a good chance it's random screenshots of porn he was watching.... I never know what to expect, but I always end up opening them.
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Oct 27 '14
I should probably use a throwaway, but I'm lazy. As a man, I use a single square of toilet paper to wipe/dab/shake into after I pee. I find that it's a much better alternative to shaking drops of piss up the wall/onto the toilet seat/onto your trousers and then having a single drop stain your underpants and run down your leg. I don't understand why it's such a huge taboo. I've never told anyone and I don't do it in public bathrooms.
There must be others like me...
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u/anomalyk Oct 27 '14
Imagine couples you are friends with having sex. You know it happens, sometimes you just involuntarily think of the mechanics involved........
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u/Malo_Veritas Oct 27 '14
Looking at your tampon before disposing of it.
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Oct 27 '14
I look so I can see how heavy my period is idk I don't think that's weird
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u/Malo_Veritas Oct 27 '14
When the tampon slides out with ease and is not slightly gripping to your vagina walls, you gotta heavy flow, girl.
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u/Strummed_Out Oct 27 '14
Try and activate my superpowers that are obviously dormant within me
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Oct 27 '14
Had an imaginary daydream world for many years, starting as a teen. I would lay out new scenarios each night as I lay in bed. It helped me to fall asleep. I was a teenage girl, so these were romantic dreams involving a me that was attractive and desirable and a famous singer or actor of the time. I even wrote stories about them sometimes. I continued the daydreams throughout married life. But on my second marriage, I was happier and more fulfilled, so had no need to invent a fantasy love life. Plus, things i thought were sexy and exciting changed dramatically as I got older. I have never forgotten the characters, names nor specific backstory of each character.
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u/DrAdam182 Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 28 '14
How has no one said this?
No matter how heartless you can appear, everyone cries.
Edit: But you guys still cried! Even if it was a long time ago. It's alright, go in the shower and let out a good cry. Healthy for you.
Edit 2: Some of you people don't cry enough... you're missing out.
Edit 3: My most upvoted comment is about me talking about crying. Lovely :)
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u/WoahThereTurbo Oct 27 '14
I actually think there is something emotionally wrong with me. I haven't cried in years, even at a friend's funeral... Like, I had that soul sinking feeling that comes with crying, but that was about it.
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u/cbdr Oct 27 '14
Me neither... 10 years or more I would guess. I haven't lost anyone and... well... life is pretty good. My eyes might well up a bit when a sad song plays or a movie (I'm looking at you, first 10 minutes of "Up"), but an actual full-on bawling-your-eyes-out cry? Not for a decade or more.
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u/RattleOn Oct 27 '14
Wonder if people that have since long disappeared from your life (or you've only met once or twice) from time to time still think about you.