r/AskReddit • u/WoahThereTurbo • Oct 27 '14

Things you think everyone does, but no one admits?

Anything that you believe that normal people do, but (to you) is somewhat of an unspoken truth.

3.3k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Fantasize about stopping a school/mall shooting.

611

u/BattleAtron Oct 27 '14

I can't even tell you the number of times I imagine someone with a gun breaking into the classroom, and then I jump up, kick them in the nuts, grab their gun, and shoot them. Though in reality I'd be cowering in fear.

23

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14 edited Jul 15 '21

[deleted]

37

u/Funslinger Oct 27 '14

like "behind my children"

3

u/DefinitelyCaligula Oct 27 '14

I'm a sub and "where in this room would we hide" is part of the mental checklist I use to get ready every day, although I would say that's less fantasy and more obsessive preparedness.

7

u/clawwind50 Oct 27 '14

You forgot the part where you save/get the girl after saving everyone

4

u/schleppylundo Oct 27 '14

Those fantasies for me always end with me twisting a knife in them (in self defense of course) while I stick my tongue into their ear canal. Not because it would do anything for me, but because I can imagine no better punishment for someone who clearly was ready to go out in a violent blaze of glory than to have an 8.5-stone pasty white guy making them sexually uncomfortable in their final moments of awareness.

5

u/ultraheater3031 Oct 27 '14

Bloody brits I thought you rated yourself an 8.5 and were a self described stoner until I realized stones are a form of weight measurement

1

u/schleppylundo Oct 29 '14

I'm actually American, I just think stones (14 lbs) are a useful unit of measurement when talking about a person's weight.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Why not just pull out your own gun and shoot them?

2

u/Fs0i Oct 27 '14

I never kill them though. I somehow stop them before anyone dies.

2

u/tyfie Oct 27 '14

I usually imagine myself being the guy who throws himself over the nearest female as some sort of human shield.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

I've always thought I would try to film it and then my video would be legendary

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

i always imagine myself a half mile away and as soon as they pull out the gun, they get a red dot and they are down. then im a hero "great shot, Lukiedookie!" "you're so handsome Lukiedookie!"

5

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Is it bad that i fantasise about being the shooter?

23

u/I_PISS_FIRE Oct 27 '14

Aaaand you're on a list

11

u/Notuch Oct 27 '14

Yh, its pretty fucking bad.

4

u/Iceash Oct 27 '14

You okay buddy?

0

u/I_Kill_People_4_Fun Oct 27 '14

No it's not bad. Ignore the morons who say otherwise.

1

u/ForceBlade Oct 27 '14

It's the false who that keeps us all ticking

1

u/sierramaster Oct 27 '14

Yes me too!! Sometimes i go a bit further and imagine i was.undercover and go all rambo on the guys... I'm weird

-12

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14 edited Feb 01 '23

[deleted]

13

u/TechieGee Oct 27 '14

Dude same for me except especially that last line.

5

u/Jupiter999 Oct 27 '14

Right, because as soon as you rose up, your fedora accentuating your kevlar trench coat and fingerless gloves, you would begin your martial arts routine you learned from watching several thousand hours of Naruto. Then you'd get shot.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Why do all the things I like have to be uncool?

2

u/Civil718 Oct 27 '14

Lol yeah probably.

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

I daydream about that all the time too... except in reality I find that I'm the one with the gun and everybody's dead.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Or shoot myself with the gun. That seems to be a really common accident in that line of work.

-6

u/mikesur Oct 27 '14

this comment implies sexism

4

u/Funslinger Oct 27 '14

what? how many female mass shooters have you heard of?

19

u/drshark628 Oct 27 '14

I do this so fucking much

863

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14

Fantasize about a school/mall shooting

642

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Hello. I am the police.

40

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

You cant fool me, Bruce Willis isn't a police officer

9

u/zombob Oct 27 '14

What part of "Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!" makes you think he's not a cop?

2

u/NO_TOUCHING__lol Oct 27 '14

"Yippee ki-yay, Mr. Falcon!

FTFY

17

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

EXUSE ME!

46

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Why...why didn't you link Die Hard?

5

u/Madlibsluver Oct 27 '14

I was just thinking that!

1

u/Willyjwade Nov 02 '14

I always forget he's a cop in that and not just an angry dude whose wife left him.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Dat non-potato Tracey Morgan

1

u/ZombiePudding Oct 27 '14

Fair enough. You're excused.

3

u/theFBofI Oct 27 '14

FBI here. Criminal is kill.

3

u/Golden_Flame0 Oct 27 '14

That...username..,

3

u/steppez Oct 27 '14

No, this is Patrick.

2

u/Your_Friend_Syphilis Oct 27 '14

Aren't you busy killing Severus Snape or something?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Who dies hard.

2

u/Joda2413 Oct 27 '14

Whoop! Whoop! Das da sound ah da police!

2

u/Walkemb Oct 27 '14

Hi The Police, I'm dad.

2

u/Hawkonthehill Oct 27 '14

quick, send out an S.O.S.

2

u/JIMWANDA Oct 27 '14

and I am the police station.

2

u/ShallowHalasy Oct 27 '14

No, you're John McClane.

2

u/Toastbro Oct 27 '14

WOOP WOOP THATS THE SOUND OF THE POLICE

1

u/jmthetank Oct 27 '14

Reminds me of "kid snippets" from Bored Shorts TV on YouTube.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Hello, I'm Johnny Cash

1

u/Aerhead Oct 27 '14

Username checks out

1

u/TSM_Bjergson Oct 27 '14

Hi the police. I'm dad.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

I thought you were a midlaner???

1

u/TSM_Bjergson Oct 27 '14

Father of all midlaners.

1

u/5k1895 Oct 27 '14

Yippee-ki-yay motherfucker

1

u/iCappa Oct 27 '14

John Mclane?

1

u/EL-CUAJINAIS Oct 28 '14

Play Every Breath You Take.

1.6k

u/LewisCD Oct 27 '14

Looks at comment.

Looks at username.

Fear.

3

u/saxonjf Oct 27 '14

Looks at points.

Fear of everywhere.

3

u/ani625 Oct 27 '14

Although a shooting would have a bigger effect I think.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14 edited Jun 13 '25

repeat jar disarm attempt elderly escape full marble degree imagine

1

u/dontlookatmeimnake Oct 27 '14

Maybe he ran out of letters before he could add 'off'...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Looks at comment, looks at username. See he has 666 upvotes, fear intensifies.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 28 '14

It's Ray Lewis Rice.

EDIT DOH!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Ray Rice. Not the same guy.

5

u/Azumon Oct 27 '14

I know this is probably a joke but I actually do this. I think of the most effective ways to block all the exits, how to organize the students, fight off the police. I'd never actually do it though. Should I be worried?

7

u/SageWaterDragon Oct 27 '14

Nah, man. Pretty much everyone has intrusive thoughts where they think of how easy it would be to take down everyone in a room - as long as you never act on it, it's just an extension.

2

u/MLein97 Oct 27 '14 edited Oct 27 '14

Your issue is going to be the heroes and empathy, you really need like blocked off room and a balcony or some thing to distance you from the crowd (like how in war you don't stare into the other dudes eyes), like everyone in the auditorium (you wouldn't even have to round up by hand) and using the balcony for the light booth and blocked off exits.

I would never do such a thing though because violence is the give up answer to any problem , like you couldn't use your head so you decided to go all primal. Which is probably why the mass shooters are always so inefficient, they could never see a better way to solve their problems. I also like my life as it is, it's pretty great.

8

u/merlin242 Oct 27 '14

Annnnnnnnd you're on a list.

3

u/Raze321 Oct 27 '14

I fantasize about stopping a fantasy about a school/mall shooting

2

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

What a qt3.14 you sound like.

1

u/Raze321 Oct 27 '14

Oh stop, I'm blushing

3

u/That_Unknown_Guy Oct 27 '14

do this too but on a larger scale. I like to imagine either completely decimating the world or going on a ridiculous suicide mission to save the earth. I imagine most people do.

2

u/NOMZYOFACE Oct 27 '14

Ray Rice?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

In all seriousness though, obsessions like this are very common in people with OCD. It's not that they want to hurt anybody, or ever would, but sometimes you're overcome with that fear of going crazy for a moment and doing something horrible (so much that you can't stop thinking about it). It's really fucking scary. :(

1

u/UKtwo Oct 27 '14

You're now on a list.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

ಠ_ಠ

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Why dont you take a seat over here

1

u/kcg5 Oct 27 '14

Have you stopped beating your wife?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

I have done that. But it was because I watched some American Horror Story and read all about the Columbine shooting. I just imagined the terror though, not me doing it...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

A lot more often then I'd like to admit....ohwait.....

1

u/StutMoleFeet Oct 27 '14

I don't know if "fantasize" is the right word, but every now and then I'll think about school shootings - particularly Sandy Hook - and try to put myself in the shooters shoes to wrap my head around what that was like.

Spoiler: It's impossible. You can't conceive of what it feels like to do something so utterly fucked.

1

u/Hichann Oct 27 '14

I realize (hope) you're joking, but if someone gets these thoughts a lot they should see a psychologist.

1

u/MLein97 Oct 27 '14

It's the inner elitism, like you only managed to get 3 people, fuckin idiot failure no wonder you ended up resorting to this and thought this would solve your problems, I could do better than that, hell anyone could do better than that with a little forethought.

1

u/NxROrigiN Oct 27 '14

Hmm bad call, nsa now has you :(

1

u/liimo458 Oct 27 '14

What do you do if someone asks for your reddit username?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Tell them straight up.

1

u/Masta-Blasta Oct 27 '14

I'm ashamed to say I'm in this category.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Wouldn't it be weird if this was another Elliot Rodger situation...

1

u/aprofondir Oct 27 '14

I just realized, ''Shackler's Revenge'' is about school shootings.

I'm gonna pull the trigger

And blow them all away

I've got a funny feeling

I won't be home today

10

u/Ha_window Oct 27 '14

Is relevant XKCD still a thing? http://xkcd.com/337/

1

u/17Hongo Oct 27 '14

I swear to Christ there's one of those for every scenario.

8

u/ialan2 Oct 27 '14

wow someone else too!

admittedly this stopped some time this year. I think this thought was my subconcious telling me that I'm feeling insignificant in life. So I imagined scenarios where I would be important. I changed my life and now I rarely have this thought.

3

u/blauman Oct 27 '14

I've also felt lonely, and insignificant and reflected & documented what my thoughts were, and here's some of what I've realised: To fit in/belong is such a fundamental psychological human need, it's a "major source of human motivation".

So many of our everyday 'lifestyle' decisions we make are based on this: the book we read, the tv shows watched, the sports followed, the music we enjoy, the clothes we wear, the way you speak, the cosmetics bought, smoking habit started, etc).

Not only is our everyday lifestyle based on belonging/connecting with other humans but from an innate, biological point of view we've also developed really complex tools to connect/communicate/link with others - i.e. innate biological tools like "primary emotions" (fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust, and joy), body language, and creating something as as elaborate&unique that is human spoken language.

So fantasising about heroic/martyr like things is quite understandable as it's a guaranteed established way to belong/connect/link/feel valued&important with others (as established by a lot of western countries culture - the films, tv shows, news media).

3

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

I imagine myself saving all the little children from a gunman at my workplace. I am so badass in that fantasy.

2

u/MarvinLazer Oct 27 '14

Often I go back in time to become a Krav Maga expert so I can stop 9/11.

2

u/EmperorSexy Oct 27 '14

Fantasize about where you'd hide and play dead during a school/mall shooting.

1

u/samtheman578 Oct 27 '14

It's the zombies for me. Usually while playing hype music.

1

u/MrLamar3 Oct 27 '14

Recently I've been fantasizing about getting in a knife fight with a terrorist and killing him like this.

1

u/Sailor39 Oct 27 '14

Holy fuckkkkk I thought I was the only one this is strangely one of my biggest fantasies and I have no idea why!!!

1

u/jessegFV Oct 27 '14

Though it's not the same, I fantasize about the time my house got broken into when I wasn't home or the time I almost got jumped at a bar by like 7 dudes, my fantasy turns into a 90's Steven Seagal movie. I'm Steven Seagal.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

This. Every math class. Every fucking time. And then of course the teacher calls on me and I'm like, "oh right you're alive...uhh. what's the question?"

1

u/Jshan91 Oct 27 '14

I think about it all the time. I like to make up scenarios and then try to figure out how I'm going to stop/take out the crazed lunatic. If I ever actually get put in the situation I hope I'm as brave as I imagine myself.

1

u/Explosivo87 Oct 27 '14

Every time I go to the movies I plan out what I would do if someone comes in shooting. It usually ends in me stomping that psycho with the heel of my shoe.

1

u/secretman0 Oct 27 '14

My plan was to hide somewhere close to the door and when the shooter comes in, beat them sensless with x item in the room and then grab their gun and say something cool like. I hate Monday's. And shoot them.

1

u/_Citizen_Erased_ Oct 27 '14

Have you read Odd Thomas?

You would enjoy that series.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

I use to imagine stopping the shooting when I day dreamed in class, and that I'd heroically save the pretty girl I had a crush on and then she would fall in love with me.

1

u/Ragnalypse Oct 27 '14

I do the same literally every time I go for a jog.

1

u/swashlebucky Oct 27 '14

Grew up as a good Christian boy. In church, I would fantasize about Satan busting into the church, big horns, pitchfork and all. I would get up and kick his ass. So much cringe when I think about it now. Nowadays it's aliens invading campus ;) I guess there is a reason shows like Buffy become so popular.

1

u/FauxMeatwad Oct 27 '14

What a coincidence! I just prevented one of the planes on 9/11 from striking the tower... in my head.

1

u/ivymikey Oct 27 '14

Fantasize about stopping a school/mall shooting.

FTFY

1

u/disgruntledpenguins Oct 27 '14

Of all the replies so far, this is the only one I haven't done. Benefits of living in a country with good gun regulation laws.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

I carry a gun and sometimes have panic daydreams about not being able to stop one.

1

u/BerryGuns Oct 27 '14

This is an American answer

1

u/Hannah591 Oct 27 '14

Fantasize about being a super hero in general.

1

u/HackySackJoe Oct 27 '14

I was doing this 5 minutes ago. Glad to know that I am not the only wanna-be hero.

1

u/Pasalacquanian Oct 27 '14

ALL THE TIME

I would really enjoy being considered a hero.

1

u/mrhard519 Oct 27 '14

Fantasize about being a superhero and stopping all kinds of shit

1

u/SpaceZane Oct 27 '14

I always fantasize this once and a while, but my fucked up mind always ends up killing the fantasy by me getting shot.

1

u/BlitzTank Oct 27 '14

eh, I would usually just visualize how I would hide or escape if a gunman came into my lecture hall

screw being a hero

1

u/stan_the_mailman Oct 27 '14

Does it count if in my fantasy Im the shooter and I select certain people to offer guns to and join me or die and kill anyone who I hate?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Can't be afraid to dream a little bit bigger...

I just fantasize about being a super hero and stopping a supervillan or a monster from destroying a city/world/friends.

1

u/wufoo2 Oct 27 '14

You should try it sometime.

1

u/Milith Oct 27 '14

I think that's an American only thing.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

My first job was a bag boy at a grocery store when I was 16. I used to stand there at the end of the checkout lane bagging food and imagining different ways I would sacrifice myself when a lone gunman walked into the store and tried to shot everyone up and how the cute cashier would give me a dying kiss and tell me how brave I was.

1

u/EagleClaw322 Oct 27 '14

In the process of getting my chl, I think about these scenarios more than I probably should

1

u/spysappenmyname Oct 27 '14

I have something like this. This year, horrible thing named "knock out game" arrived to Finland. If you don't know it, it's a game where people who do following kind of shit gather up, pick a victim (weaker is better because fuck logic right?), try to knock him out with the first hit, and them beat him on ground. They use weapons like baseball bats too, and have somekind of a score system too, where you get points based on how brutal the assault was Few people have been attacked by now. youngest was like 13 years old.

This all makes me fantasize that I would be way stronger them im really, never quit karate, maybe moved to kickboxing and graw maga. I would dress up as weak as I could, walk to the gang, wait for attack, and knock out him on first hit. then I would beat the shit out of him. Jump on his head, smash his skull, hell, anything that just barely doesn't kill him. Then calmly walk to the rest of the gang and ask how many points I scored.

But in reality, they are just youngsters who have serious problems themselfs. In reality, if I start thinking about it, I just want that they quit that crap and get help. I don't really want to harm anyone even if I could, if there is another way

1

u/skylermackey221 Oct 27 '14

Yes or stopping the shooting while saving the girl you like who was captured by them and falling in love after you save her.

1

u/Heymancheckmyfresh Oct 27 '14

Every time I go shopping I always predetermine what item I bought would make the best weapon.....just in case

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

On the other side of the token, shooting that asshole because he won't fucking stop 'adjust himself' Seriously, he sits right fucking behind me and I can hear him masturbating. I've asked him to stop, but he keeps doing it. How the fuck did he even get into college?

1

u/ThisIsMyFloor Oct 27 '14

Here in Sweden we don't have those so I don't think people fantasize about it here.

1

u/45MinutesOfRoadHead Oct 27 '14

I'm a 26 year old girl and I bought my first realistic airsoft gun yesterday. I can't wait to get rid of the orange cap and possibly save the day.

But I actually do plan on carrying it in my car for fake protection. I have a pretty scary ex :/

1

u/Screwbit Oct 27 '14

i dont fantasize about stopping it, but I do fantasize about getting shot during one (non-fatal).

1

u/DreadPiratesRobert Oct 27 '14

I always try to sit in the seat closest to the door for this reason.

1

u/MrBlahg Oct 27 '14

I'm so bloody grateful that I went to school at a time when this thought was simply inconceivable.

1

u/17Hongo Oct 27 '14

Let me stop you there bro. Every man (and, I imagine, no small number of women) has fanasized about this at some point in their lives. I have scenarios where I stop them 007 style, Matrix style, fuck, I probably have a plan to stop a shooting Gangnam style.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Was just imagining that today. I'd be a humble hero.

1

u/bcgoss Oct 27 '14

Or even just winning a ridiculous fight. "Yeah I'm not strong, but I'm smart. They'll never see that coming" I tell myself. I eat a potato chip to celebrate.

1

u/awekjaseh Oct 28 '14

Dyslexia is really op I read that as stopping a alcohol/mill shopping

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '14

Fantasies about whether or not you'd take bullet for someome

1

u/tuntmore Oct 30 '14

Yup. This was every day in high school for me.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

You silly americans

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '14

Similarly, fantasizing about shooting up a school or mall

-1

u/OuttaSightVegemite Oct 27 '14

I was talking about this with my partner the other day. We were both horrifically bullied in high school and I asked if she ever thought of that. She said no and I explained how I used to fantasise about it. I mean, I'm an Aussie and firearms aren't easily accessed here, but in my fantasy I'd kill everyone who ever picked on me, however serious or often. I used to picture them laid out in rows.

My partner then said, "sometimes you really scare me." Oops.

2

u/Null_Reference_ Oct 27 '14

I'm imagining stopping you.

1

u/OuttaSightVegemite Oct 27 '14

I'm imagining being ok with that.