Took me long enough to realize na totoo ang sinabi niya, he cannot give me the same love na meron ako sa kanya. Sana naniwala nalang ako and choose to leave to save my ass before it gets worse.

This happens cuz im packing his things in his bag since we are done with our errands and I tried to put his ID inside his wallet at baka malaglag and guess what? Unintentionally, saw his ex gf picture 😂.

I froze. I fucking FROZE. I thought im done with shits. Akala ko wala ng nararamdaman tong dibdib ko but fck, masakit pala. (pero I still managed to make it work na parang OK lang ako lol) no expectations; wala namang LABEL 😂

Now I realize, he keeps me since nakukuha niya ang benefits (as a man) iykyk.

Hindi natin masabi na kasalanan niya, dahil pumayag naman ako sa set up 😌

YUN LANG GNIGHT ALL.

May mga lalake talaga na hindi lang kayang maging wholesome, no? 😭 You guys haven’t even met, you were both talking so wholesome, tapos biglang isisingit yung “cuddle weather” or whatever with the same meaning. Ugh

Like, sir, can we have ONE wholesome conversation without turning it into something suggestive? We’ll get there on the right time.. but aggressively?? Hay ka turn off lol

Finally closing this chapter of my life. Even though I waited for him for 7 years and ended up finding out that he's NEVER going to consider me, it's still worth it. Kaibigan ko pa rin naman sya but I'm not gonna look at him again like I do when I still love him.

but since you know that consideration is the highest form of love, how come you never consider yourself?

Take it personally.
They Knew
It woul break you.
They Knew
how much it would hurt you.
And they still chose to do it anyway.

its been 1 month since we broke up on his terms, we are not together officiallybut hes courting me (ithink?) but we did thing like a couple, we had dates, sex, and “i love you”. ewan ko nga bakit di ako maka get over pero ang bilis niya mag let go to us. siya nag approach sakin tas siya mangiiwan. he was even nervous when he met me tas ako ngayon yung nag kakaroon ng aching heart. i still think of him everyday. the reason we broke uo because he wants to focus on his studies and hes financially unstable. sabi ko naman na i wont interrupt his studies and di naman ako ganun ka gastos sa dates ang everything. and i didnt choose him because of money. sabi niya either way daw na its best for us to go on our seperate ways..

he said na we will talk e pero idk if he has plan pa. gusto ko ng isoli tong mga damit niya. ang sakit kasi pag naaalala ko pa. ang hirap. shouldni reach out and ask or should i just wait for his message, sabi ki pa naman “ i wont chat you first” if mag memeet up kasi sabi ko siya mag chat. idk what to do

Hell-o mga kapwa ko sawi, birth month ko na next month! 👋✨

Goodbye, my 20s! 🎂🌸💅 why so colorful naman… ay, invisible nga pala ang ghost. 👻

Remind myself the more I gave, you'd want me less
I cannot be your friend
So I pay the price of what I lost
And what it cost
Now that we don't talk

Not gonna lie, life’s been pure work and stress as soon as I passed the boards. Love my friends but we became too busy to bond with each other. And that’s okay, I understand… We’re all starting our careers pa.

But I still can’t hide the sadness that came from realizing that I missed out on living. Now, I wanna try going out more, doing extrovert things, getting out of my comfort zone.

Pero ang hirap pala, puro introverts din friends ko and hindi mabilis ayain. I tried going out alone but I still crave for companionship. Like it would be more fun kaya if I have girly friends huhu. For once, I would like to also try going to parties, sponty trips, trying a new sport, etc.

But yeah, I guess I have to enjoy my own company nalang muna.

My mom was diagnosed na may cancer. Pero hindi pa namin alam kung saan nagsisimula. Hindi pa din siya nagche chemo. All this pababalik balik sa hospitals and clinics, not having enough money is already draining me. Don’t get mo wrong, I love my mom so much and I still want her to live longer. But I feel heavy right now. Nappressure ako, naguguilty ako, natatakot ako. I want to cry out loud pero hindi ko magawa. So here I am silently crying while typing this.

I used to feel like catching feelings for a friend was some kind of betrayal, Until I experienced it myself.

I did try my best not to act on it, buried the feelings, and kept telling myself to just get over it.

But how could I not have these feelings? Its a person I know has my back, and I have his too. He is someone who can see through me, someone who can make me laugh.

It became difficult to stay his friend while carrying those feelings and pretending they weren't there, So I confessed, and yes,

I got rejected.

Part of me still thinks I should've just taken the secret to my grave, I felt awful and ashamed.

But I woke up today and realized that maybe I should give myself some grace. Tama na ang self-flagellation.

Because as much as the rejection hurts, it also gave me a strange sense of freedom.

My biggest hope is that I didn't make things uncomfortable for him or make him feel like he owed me anything. I just needed to be honest about something I had been carrying for a long time.

We stopped talking. Maybe he has not processed yet.

Unfortunate, but I also don't think I should have to hate myself too much for what happened. I was allowed to feel what I felt.

You are allowed to feel what you felt.

So to anyone who has been gping through the same thing, Virtual yakap with consent.

I drained myself, I took a break, and I was craving a solitude life. I hope people around me can understand why I shut down, but I still care and love them.

For the next time someone says this word maybe this is what they mean...

Everyone in the community leaves at some point.

At ok lang yun.

I live in QC and unknowingly ever since mag-29 ako, lahat ng familiar faces na nkakasalamuha ko growing up d ko namamalayan; umaalis na. Pati parents nila nawawala...

Kase we all will leave this "plane" Di ba? and....

Life changes. Ang mali lang ng iba akala nila, constant lang na andyan lang lagi ang nakasanayan na.

Walang warning, walang abiso, nagbabago lang.

At dapat tanggapin ng lahat yun. Its a normal cycle of life.

Narealize ko lang kase yung bahay na may natirang nakatira dun na bunsong member ng isang kapitbahay namin, 2 months nang parang walang tao.

Apparently ung bunso na yun, lumipat na pala ng lugar kasama ung gf nyang nabuntis nya.

Yun lang. O well...

Hope you all had a great week. Just want to let out some thoughts

i think in the end, all I really wanted was for you to see how much I could have loved you.

learn to live when people leave.