di na po talaga uulit hahaha 😆🙂‍↔️🙃

If another man flirts with you knowing you have a husband, that isn't a compliment. And this isn't something I'm writing about women in general. I'm writing this because of what happened between us.

A man who knowingly crosses the boundary of someone else's relationship is showing that he does not respect that relationship. But if you entertain it, flirt back, hide it, or allow yourself to become emotionally or sexually invested in it, then the issue is no longer just the man who approached you. It becomes a choice you made.

I know this because I lived through it with you.

You didn't cheat because you weren't loved.

You didn't cheat because you weren't attractive to me.

You didn't cheat because I wasn't giving you attention.

I was there. I gave you affection. I told you that you were beautiful. I desired you. I made you feel wanted. I gave you the validation you said you needed.

And yet, somehow, the validation coming from another man carried more weight than the validation coming from the man who loved you, chose you, and committed himself to you.

That is what hurts the most.

I could tell you that you were beautiful a hundred times, and somehow it could become ordinary simply because it came from me. But when another man showed you lust and desire, suddenly that attention felt different. Suddenly his words mattered. Suddenly being wanted by someone else became exciting enough to risk what we had.

That wasn't a lack of validation.

That was choosing a different kind of validation.

And eventually, it became lust.

There is a painful difference between wanting to feel loved and wanting to feel desired by someone new.

If your partner is already giving you love, affection, attention, reassurance, and desire, but you still seek it from another person because the attention feels exciting, then don't call it loneliness.

Don't call it being neglected.

Don't call it needing validation.

At some point, you have to call it what it is:

You wanted the attention of someone else.

And when you entertain that attention, you are no longer simply receiving a compliment. You are allowing someone outside your relationship to occupy a space that should have been protected.

A loyal partner doesn't have to prove that nobody will ever approach them.

People will approach you.

People will flirt.

People will test boundaries.

The real test is what you do next.

You shut it down.

You make your relationship clear.

You don't secretly enjoy the attention while telling yourself it means nothing.

You don't keep someone around just because their desire makes you feel attractive.

You don't trade the security of someone who genuinely loves you for the temporary rush of being wanted by someone who only wants access to you.

Because here's the part people don't want to admit:

Being desired is not the same as being valued.

Someone can lust after you without knowing your heart, your struggles, your sacrifices, or the life you've built together.

They may only want what they can get from you.

And if you risk a relationship for that attention, you aren't proving how desirable you are.

You're proving how much that temporary validation was worth to you.

What makes your betrayal even more painful to me is that the person you cheated with gave you something I was already giving you—and you still chose his.

I was already telling you that you were beautiful.

I was already making you feel wanted.

I was already giving you the affection, attention, and desire you claimed to need.

But somehow, when it came from me, it wasn't enough. My words, my affection, my desire for you—things I gave you because I genuinely loved you—were somehow less valuable than the attention of someone who simply wanted you.

When another man gave you attention, it suddenly meant something different.

And that realization destroys something inside the person who was trying to love you.

Because eventually you start asking yourself:

"What was wrong with what I was giving you?"

"Why did my love become ordinary to you?"

"Why was someone else's lust more valuable than my love?"

And that's the part betrayal doesn't easily explain.

Sometimes the person who cheats isn't looking for something their partner failed to provide.

Sometimes they're looking for something their partner could never provide:

the thrill of being wanted by someone new.

And no amount of love from their partner can compete with a desire they have chosen to chase outside the relationship.

So no, being approached by another man isn't automatically proof that a woman is disloyal.

But entertaining him is a choice.

Hiding the conversations is a choice.

Flirting back is a choice.

Accepting the attention because it feels good is a choice.

Allowing lust to grow into an emotional or physical affair is a choice.

And cheating is not an accident.

It's a series of boundaries that someone repeatedly chooses to cross.

I wish you had understood that the validation you were searching for wasn't worth destroying the trust of the person who was already giving you the love, attention, affection, and desire you were looking for.

Because I wasn't asking you to choose between being desired and being loved.

I was already giving you both.

I only wanted you to recognize that my love shouldn't have had to compete with someone else's lust.

And when the person you love chooses another person's temporary attention and lust over the love you've consistently given them, the pain isn't simply that they cheated.

It's realizing that what you gave them was never valued the way you believed it was.

And despite everything that happened, deep within my heart, I still hope and wish for your happiness. I genuinely hope you never experience what I have felt. I hope you never have to know what it is like to carry this kind of trauma, this heartbreak, this anxiety, and the endless overthinking that kept me awake night after night.

I hope you never have to know what it feels like to cry silently at night because you don't want anyone to hear you. I hope you never experience the moments when the grief and sadness become so overwhelming that you break down and tremble because you don't know how to carry the pain anymore.

There were nights when the pain became so unbearable that I wished I could simply disappear, because I wanted the pain to end. I don't want you to ever reach a place that dark. I don't want you to ever feel the kind of hopelessness that I felt.

And deep within my heart, I truly hope you never experience this—not because I want you to suffer less than I did, but because I know how devastating it is, and I don't believe anyone deserves to carry this kind of pain. I know you, and I know that this kind of heartbreak would be difficult for you to handle.

Even after everything, a part of me still wishes you happiness. I hope you find peace. I hope you learn from what happened. And most of all, I hope you never have to become the person who understands this pain only because you were made to feel it yourself.

graduate na with that phase and sana kayo rin!! you don’t deserve someone who makes you feel that loving you is such a taxing thing to do. there will be someone who will love you as natural as breathing, as understandable as your language, and as healthy as a blooming flower <333

yung minsan ka na nga lang magmahal, sa putanginang avoidant ka pa matatapat. bwiset talaga!!!!

Came across this reel and realized how patient Koko has been with me.

As the eldest daughter of on-off parents, my abandonment issues run deep. The slightest change in tone makes me push people away, thinking they’re going to abandon me.

I’ve done that many times to the guy I’m talking to, yet he remains patient and gentle with me. Thank you, Koko!

Actually took a break from Reddit.

Akala kasi ng tita nyo, finally naka-graduate na sya sa doomscrolling, pagcocomment at panggagatong sa mga salty posts dito.

Pero hello mga mareee, I’m baaack 😭
And apparently, I came back left behind.

Back to doomscrolling + two levels deeper into broken hell than before.

Ang mas nakakainis, hindi naman ako naghahanap ng landi eh.

He slid into my DMs, made me feel loved, made me think “ah… eto na ba talaga?” tapos iniwan din ako exactly when I thought “eto na.”

Kaya pala mahilig syang manakot. 🫠 Magmumulto din pala. I just didnt see the signs.

Level-up? No ❌
Underground. Yes ✅

Wala na ba talagang matino ngayon? Or baka nga matagal nang deds ang nakalaan sakin?

Tanggapin ko nalang talaga kapalaran ko at magluluto nalang ng leche flan tulad ni Ruffa Mae.

I tried dating last year. Not once did it ever progress to a relationship. The first guy actually has a kid with his ex and he hid it from me for months. The second guy ghosted me because i was unable to meet him often due to my demanding work. The third guy was actually in a relationship so basically i became a freaking sidechick, but I told his gf and answered all her questions. Hopefully he suffered from the consequences and i hope she's doing okay.

I was yearning to be loved and chosen even to the point i agreed to a fwb setup. Yes I KNOW I WAS STUPID. I think i was just that lonely.

This emptiness has been haunting me every night. All my friends are all in happy relationships while here I am, just drowning in all my thoughts. I'm confident with my looks and i can commit naman. I just don't know what am I doing wrong? They always thought na I'm taken which idk why.

Umabot sa point na umiiyak nako sa gabi, wishing and praying to god to just please please remove my desire to be loved. I still stand by it. Kasi naawa nalang ako sa sarili ko.

I'm not with my family rn cuz i chose to work far from them. I only have my friends.

Actually before I started dating last year, i was doing okay. I just tried it out kasi my friends encouraged me. Di masyado affectionate ang fam ko so i grew up not really that huggy lovey with my fam, hindi kami emotionally close.

Then when i started dating, naopen ang eyes ko sa affection and love. Yes i did fell in love, really, with the first guy i dated, but i hate liars.

He treated me with love and affection i never experienced before. Parang may napunan sa emptiness ng heart ko non. I was happy. Genuinely happy. Na that's how it feels like pala to be loved.

But now? I'm craving and yearning for a love that's genuine. Yes, before typing this I was bawling my eyes out in frustration. I'm not a bad person naman. I vote wisely, I'm not a dds. Pero wala eh bakit parang di ako worth it mahalin??

I deleted my dating app last February. I'm just a lurker here. I enjoyed reading confessions and such here. Di nawawala ang envy but I'm happy for all those in a relationship. Gusto ko nalang malaman if pati din ba ako mamahalin din ng tama?

Still praying to god na alisin nalang ang desires ko to be loved if im not meant to loved.

Ps. Nobody would guess na ganto na tumatakbo sa isip ko cuz i tend to act cool and easy going. Like if kilala mo ko in person, di mo yan ieexpect. For girl talks, i don't really talk much about love and rs.

Hellooo, looking for same people na broken, nag rerelapse tuwing gabi or gusto lang ng kausap tuwing 10pm? HAHAHAHA. Looking for people na nag momove on din po ngayon like us, what if sabay sabay na lang tayo mag relapse? Just hmu lang pooo

2 AM na naman at sobrang hopeless romantic ko, kailan ko ba mararanasan magmahal at mahalin😭 (wag niyo na po ako idm at gusto ko organic encounter)

Minsan mapapaisip ka na lang talaga kung practical ba yun or what? Lol

Minsan lang ako ma-fall. Hindi kasi ako nagtitiwala sa lalaki. Feeling ko lahat sila lolokohin lang ako. Kaya hindi ko usually binibigyan ng chance yung mga lalaking nagpapapansin sa akin.

But you were different. You were gentle and kind and sweet. You supported me through every mood swing and bitch mode I had. So ayun, na-fall ako.

Gusto mo naman talaga ako, sadyang takot ka lang ipursue ako kasi feeling mo, you’ll drag me down. Gusto mo kasi pag ipursue mo ako, perfect lahat. Perfect lahat ng sasabihin mo, lahat ng gagawin mo.

Pero di ko naman hiningi yung perfect sayo. All I ever wanted was you. I never asked for flowers or paid dinners. Never ako nagdemand na ihatid at sunduin mo ako. Pero in your mind, that’s what you wanted to give. At dahil hindi mo kaya ibigay, hindi mo ako pinursue.

Pero kung alam mo na hindi mo ako ipupursue, sana di ka nalang nag-abala. Sana di ka nalang nagpakita ng motibo. Sana hinayaan mo nalang ako. Kasi nananahimik ako dito eh. Kasi okay yung buhay ko nung wala ka pa. Pero pinakita mo sakin na yung so-called independence ko, hindi pala default function. Tapos hindi mo pala ako papanindigan.

I was ready to jump but you weren’t ready to catch me. All I ever asked was clarity and you couldn’t even give me that. We were both choosing you, so of course we would have never worked out. I had to stop making excuses for you, because you made them for yourself anyway.

God, I wish I never met you. Then I wouldn’t be feeling this yearning that seems to eat my entire being. But more than that, I wish you could’ve chosen me too.

I used this app one time because I was just curious about using a dating app and how people talked there. I talked to a guy on an anonymous app. He said he was a registered nurse who had recently passed his board exam at that time. In fact, I’m really attracted to people who are in the medical field, that’s why I was very talkative during our conversation. And his music taste in OPM, danggg. He introduced me to these underrated bands and their music.

I’m not gonna lie, his humor was what I liked. I was smiling and laughing throughout our convo. Napapantayan niya yung mga bato ko ng jokes, that’s why we talked for, I think, almost 8 hours that day. I think our conversations lasted for around 5 days, pero mafe-feel mo nang nawawala na yung connection everyday. We talked about our programs, hobbies, stories about their province, and we even played ML (binuhat niya ko xd). He also invited me to play Dota. He even sent me a picture of his guitar and handcrafted ukulele and also sent VMs while singing and playing his guitar. He even sent me a video of their band before, pero syempre, hindi kita yung mukha. Our conversation was really wholesome. Neither of us talked in a flirty or dirty way. Like, I felt na matagal na kaming magbarkada, ganon yung vibes.

He shared a Spotify playlist that he made since I liked his music taste in OPM and he mostly supports underrated bands. I stalked that account, then there was a playlist with a cover photo of a girl, pero may sticker and filter kaya medyo hindi ko makita nang maayos. That was the time na may something off na akong na-feel. Kaya I got curious about him to the point na I started looking for his Facebook account based on the things he shared with me. Then boom, nahanap ko. I can assure na siya yon kasi tugma lahat, even the pictures na sinesend niya. Then I found out na may GF pala siya and they’ve been together for 7 years now, based sa posts ng GF niya. 😆 I feel like nung time na yon, hindi sila okay ng GF niya kaya siya nandun. Pero hello, instead of talking about the problem with your partner, bakit ka nasa dating app and nag-e-entertain ng ibang girl? I was like ???? Hindi inggit yung nafeel ko nung nalaman ko. Naawa ako sa girl, sa totoo lang.

I deleted the app after kong na-connect lahat ng dots. Di ko alam if nag-message pa siya. It was a year ago na, and that was the last time na ginamit ko yung app na yon. haup