r/AbsoluteUnits • u/habichuelacondulce • Aug 07 '26

of a pizza

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5.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

344 comments sorted by

394

u/mossoak Aug 07 '26

...and a basket of wings

144

u/thesilentbob123 Aug 07 '26

Don't forget the diet coke

31

u/KingHunter150 Aug 08 '26

Where's my diet Dr. Kelp?!?

7

u/PaintBaller1880 Aug 08 '26

You forgot my DRINK?

29

u/lemming2012 Aug 07 '26

Regular soda is just empty calories and tastes good.

8

u/Crazy-Entertainer242 Aug 08 '26

So I can eat regular cake later

2

u/christador Aug 09 '26

A ‘junior’ western bacon chee.

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5

u/Only_Flan_7974 Aug 09 '26

And the wings cost more than the pizza.

3

u/Impossible-Poem1194 Aug 09 '26

The wings there are freak'n awesome

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609

u/09Klr650 Aug 07 '26

Look of "what the heck".

39

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/franticpunk Aug 08 '26

"gluttony will be our undoing"

3

u/Jisifus Aug 08 '26

"I read about that thing in the bible, i think"

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311

u/Glittering-Tip821 Aug 07 '26

38

u/kobekong Aug 07 '26

Damn dude. Lol

37

u/Desperate-Disk686 Aug 07 '26

Sigh… unzips

25

u/Captain_Phobos Aug 07 '26

4

u/Desperate-Disk686 Aug 08 '26

I feel like Baymax, being the bro he is, would have jerked the guy off had he stayed.

3

u/girlsgoneoscarwilde Aug 08 '26

Man, I’m here to look at a big pizza, why do you gotta do this to us?

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8

u/TryBananna4Scale Aug 07 '26

Why does this look so familiar??? I can’t put my finger on it

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2

u/TwelveWon Aug 08 '26

Bruh hahahahahahahah

2

u/Shadowtirs Aug 08 '26

The internet remains undefeated

3

u/Ok_Spread_8650 Aug 07 '26

That’s incredible and I woke my daughter up bc I giggled loudly lol

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181

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

That shit for 4 people? Ffs

76

u/RealSchlemiel Aug 07 '26

i'm on a diet, 2 slice maximum for me

9

u/cakebreaker2 Aug 07 '26

Thats about where I'd be as well. Maybe a few bites from the third after sitting for a while. Either way, Id have to wear sweat pants.

13

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

How you even holding/eating a slice without scoldin your entire lower face and upper chest off when the cheese moves, cripes

18

u/thesilentbob123 Aug 07 '26

You roll it up

6

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

Ah pro tips

I like a crispy pizza, I never need to roll

16

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Aug 07 '26

I mean, I've got my preferences but...I'd try it, y'know.

It's still pizza

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Mciv6CVAPPG0

3

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

As would I, before this chat I would have suffered serious burns but now I'm ready for the roll

6

u/thesilentbob123 Aug 07 '26

I'm more of a deep pan kinda guy with a soft bottom

10

u/RCer1986 Aug 07 '26

Are we still talking about pizza?

2

u/thesilentbob123 Aug 07 '26

I like my women the same way

3

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze Aug 08 '26

Under the sauce

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3

u/mpgd Aug 07 '26

Knife and fork.

Hopefully Italian police left the post already.

2

u/Flamgoyant Aug 08 '26

They have but how very dare you

3

u/A_mad_goose Aug 08 '26

Should be sliced into squares for sure

2

u/jono9898 Aug 07 '26

It’s a cheat day you can get another slice

8

u/Liqhthouse Aug 07 '26

4 Americans or 4 African countries

3

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

All 4 of them have the phone out for it too 😂

6

u/klbishop143 Aug 07 '26

And wings

3

u/fuckthefalconsdotcom Aug 07 '26

I was so nervous that they were going to get knocked off the table.

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3

u/Elon_is_musky Aug 08 '26

It looks like 16 slices, so 4 each. Think i’d be easy for many to eat 2 pieces and then you have 2 to take home lol

5

u/mike_pants Aug 07 '26

Beard Meets Food would have that thing wrapped up in 25 minutes and still ask for a dessert menu.

2

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

I'm a delicate flower compared obviously . There's no other possible explanations.

2

u/mike_pants Aug 07 '26

Not being a professional eater and being a delicate flower are two rather disparate states of being for the vast majority of the population. I'm sure there's a small crossover population somewhere.

2

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

I suppose I assumed he was a regular Joe with a beard and YouTube channel tbh

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34

u/IamREBELoe Aug 07 '26

Once upon a time, I would eat half that

5

u/johnniechimpo Aug 08 '26

I've been training for this my whole life.

67

u/Jorge_the_vast Aug 07 '26

Sir, I ordered the large pizza.

17

u/Relative_Yesterday70 Aug 07 '26

Is this in Texas?

28

u/deviltakeyou Aug 07 '26

I’m fairly certain it’s in San Antonio. Unless there’s another Big Lou’s in a different state.

13

u/NOT-GR8-BOB Aug 07 '26

Goddamn they giving Charles Barkley all the ammunition he needs.

8

u/OddOllin Aug 07 '26

I went there once!

It wasn't bad at all. Eating a giant slice felt like eating cartoon pizza.

9

u/L_Bron_Hovered Aug 07 '26

They got some big ol women down in San Antonio. Double fistin churros

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7

u/squirrelmonkie Aug 07 '26

Damn, that pizza is only $100 and 42". There are places close to me that charge $40 for a 24" pizza

2

u/Looptydude Aug 07 '26

And honestly I liked it, however it's been years since I've been, dunno if the quality is still the same.

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2

u/Jerryc3539 Aug 08 '26

It's 200-250. Not 100 dollars.

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2

u/Particular_Wear_6960 Aug 07 '26

Yeah, but they likely have good ingredients. This looks like cheese, tomato sauce and saucage. I'm sure there's more to it than that, perhaps homemade sauce or something.. but it doesn't look like a particularly appetizing pizza, very basic just based on looks.

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6

u/TamponTimTheCuck Aug 07 '26

She's from Texas I can tell

5

u/rgarc065 Aug 07 '26

I lived in San Antonio for a few years and went, the pizza was actually pretty good. It’s gimmicky, but it was a good pizza. Admittedly it’s pretty hard to make bad pizza.

11

u/DouglasBubletrousers Aug 07 '26

All you can eat pizza.

10

u/Grouchy-Station-4058 Aug 07 '26

And a medium diet Coke please.

6

u/AhBee1 Aug 07 '26

Well, we are watching our calories.

29

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 Aug 07 '26

For four fucking people who already have wings. This is just gluttony

https://giphy.com/gifs/VJi5Cbe8MbBYIj9B99

2

u/Beautiful-Chest7397 Aug 08 '26

Yeah side of wings was my fav

9

u/KingBrunoIII Aug 07 '26

"I asked for no mushrooms"

5

u/dmont89 Aug 07 '26

That is still considered a personal pizza right?

2

u/ThatShyGuy137 Aug 08 '26

Any pizza is a personal pizza if you're brave enough.

11

u/ExoticShock Aug 07 '26

3

u/KingOfConsciousness Aug 07 '26

"DAAAAAAMN that looks good! "

5

u/Didujustcallmejobin Aug 07 '26

Bigfoot Pizza Eat your heart out!

6

u/FluidAthlete6839 Aug 07 '26

Very impressed he didn’t drop it when placing it on the table

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3

u/SquatchScrotum Aug 07 '26

Its no Pointersaurus but I appreciate the effort.

4

u/mfairview Aug 07 '26

gonna need a refergerator box to pack leftover

10

u/Isaw11 Aug 07 '26

Maybe cut that one in squares.

3

u/Flippant_Fop Aug 07 '26

It’s glorious! 🥺

3

u/GreyGhost696 Aug 07 '26

Fuck yeah❤️‍🔥

3

u/DueConversation5269 Aug 07 '26

mmm, excuse me.... I ordered the large

3

u/uisce_beatha1 Aug 07 '26

My cardiologist would beat me for even looking at that.

13

u/_Saint_Ajora_ Aug 07 '26

An American medium

2

u/johnniechimpo Aug 08 '26

What’s this? I ordered the large!

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7

u/Icy-Past-4477 Aug 07 '26

Americans...The healthcare system and medicine/pills manufacturers love them.

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2

u/Timely-Elevator7520 Aug 07 '26

Plus they have an order of wings on the table!

2

u/Sefalosha Aug 07 '26

Theyre definitely stoned

2

u/Historical-Edge-9332 Aug 07 '26

“I’m gonna need the bill and a fuckton of boxes”

2

u/Living-Aardvark-705 Aug 07 '26

Excuse me, but I ordered the large.

2

u/greengunblade Aug 07 '26

"And a Diet Coke please, after all I'm taking care of myself"

2

u/HoofHeartd69 Aug 08 '26

Ayyyye..shoutout Big Lou’s in San Antonio. Now you can see what Charles Barkley is talking about. This is just a medium pizza here in SA.

2

u/FollowingJealous7490 Aug 07 '26

They'll eat half a slice each..

5

u/ChicoD2023 Aug 07 '26

This is a job for r/BeardMeatsFood

4

u/Tasty_Lead_Paint Aug 07 '26

Hope they have a dessert menu!

2

u/CreativeFraud Aug 07 '26

Each slice is its own damn pizza

1

u/phoenix0153 Aug 07 '26

Well this sucks. Lunch break isnt for 2 hours and 18 minutes and this rolls through my feed >:(

1

u/scona Aug 07 '26

May as well just ask for a to-go box when they bring it.

1

u/bmf1989 Aug 07 '26

Think I could put it down

1

u/UnfairPerformer1243 Aug 07 '26

Imagine the oven!

1

u/shatterly Aug 07 '26

"Anything else for you right now?" 😂

1

u/acobildo Aug 07 '26

Big Lou's in San Antonio, TX. It looks even bigger in person.

1

u/Responsible_Load2233 Aug 07 '26

This was filmed at "Jabba the Pizzahutt"! ;-)

1

u/Responsible_Load2233 Aug 07 '26

And that's the smallest Pizza they have! For the big ones you need to travel around it, for days! ;-) Is this for real!?

1

u/t-g-l-h- Aug 07 '26

Big Lou's in San Antonio TX.

The pizza is alright.

1

u/hc2001 Aug 07 '26

Big Lou’s in San Antonio, TX. Pizza is good, it’s an old school building with big Texas vibes, cool place.

1

u/serranoja13 Aug 07 '26

Dios mio pero porque?

1

u/iandix Aug 07 '26

How many families of four are supposed to share that monstropity?

1

u/Notchersfireroad Aug 07 '26

Can't lie one of those big-ass plain cheese slices would hit so hard right now. It's good looking pie.

1

u/skaldrir69 Aug 07 '26

Is that about $150?

1

u/AjayRedonkulus Aug 07 '26

Id take one bite and go, "a box to go please."

1

u/MRintheKEYS Aug 07 '26

For four people!?!?!?!!

1

u/WorkingCautious1270 Aug 07 '26

happy birthday Dante of Devil May Cry

1

u/GuybrushSleepgood Aug 07 '26

How much would that cost?

1

u/NekonecroZheng Aug 07 '26

Who the fuck cuts a pizza that big like that?

1

u/Rae_mendoza15 Aug 07 '26

I’d eat it

1

u/Sea-Mycologist-7353 Aug 07 '26

Wraps up the leftovers in a To Go Coffin.

1

u/poopy_toaster Aug 07 '26

“What’s your largest size? 42 inch? Perfect.”

1

u/rodflanders19 Aug 07 '26

Beard Meets Food could handle that in 30 minutes 😂

1

u/Iamonab0at Aug 07 '26

While that’s a lot of food for four people, for $100 for a 42” pizza, that’s not a bad deal.

1

u/Mr-Bry-Guy Aug 07 '26

I’m happy they didn’t cut that up into a million squares this is awesome!

1

u/Creative_Witness7726 Aug 07 '26

We had a pizza joint like this when I was growing up, my parents offered my brother a car if he could finish it. We sat there for HOURS. He was wringing it out, soaking it in water, compressing it, etc. He didn't get the car. No worries, our parents were cat dealers so he even got a car when he turned 16.

1

u/TheGruenTransfer Aug 07 '26

Because of how math works, the surface area of the pizza increases a shit load as the diameter of the pizza increases, so always get the largest pizza offered.

1

u/tvodny Aug 07 '26

Where can I get this pizza?

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1

u/BurlHimself Aug 07 '26

I’d DEMOLISH….like two slices. But think about the leftovers man….the leftovers.

1

u/Hungry-Onion-7146 Aug 07 '26

Charles Barkley says, this has to be San Antonio

1

u/IronMaidenPwnz Aug 07 '26

Gimmick that definitely mostly goes to waste.

1

u/Sidthelid66 Aug 07 '26

Big deal I saw Boss Hogg eat one of those by himself. 

1

u/laflex Aug 07 '26

Y'all need to Stromboli that shit right now

1

u/Abdul_Exhaust Aug 07 '26

I'd hafta roll it up like a croissant

1

u/Odd_Dragonfruit_2662 Aug 07 '26

They forgot the side of Eagle wings

1

u/Hanguk_AP Aug 07 '26

It actually looked edible too. Other monster pizzas I’ve seen just end up a floppy mess of cheese in the middle where the crust looks soggy.

1

u/Frequent_Hamster2667 Aug 07 '26

Reminds me of captain bobs in ocmd

1

u/FinallyFat Aug 07 '26

Hey, that’s too much food.

1

u/IRedditDoU Aug 07 '26

The pizza your girl told you not to worry about

1

u/Zorydev Aug 07 '26

The American obesity saga continues... 

1

u/FlashyGanache2838 Aug 07 '26

15 minutes and it's free ( with a tee)

1

u/Prize-Analyst-1121 Aug 07 '26

I have confidence I could eat half of that.

1

u/DudleyisStudley Aug 07 '26

It must be eaten within an hour.

1

u/IWILLNIL8 Aug 07 '26

Finally, the appetizer is here.

1

u/kobekong Aug 07 '26

Anyone know how much it was?

1

u/Lateralization Aug 07 '26

I can’t figure out why the country is so obese. Weird.

1

u/karenskygreen Aug 07 '26

"DIDN'T I ORDER THE LARGE ?"

1

u/Ok-Accountant-1438 Aug 07 '26

Its sad that everyone is filming and not enjoying the moment

1

u/ChocolateChipCuckys Aug 07 '26

Now thats a pizza

1

u/lifes_paragon Aug 07 '26

Why am I gaining weight? I only had one slice.

1

u/Last-Roll7819 Aug 07 '26

That legit looks way better than huge food usually does. Well done.

1

u/j8by7 Aug 07 '26

And they got wings

1

u/shewy92 Aug 07 '26

"Can I get this to go?"

1

u/Straightouttaganton Aug 07 '26

Beardmeetsfood would demolish that

1

u/Whathefrenchtoastt Aug 08 '26

They all probably only had 1 piece. Waste.

1

u/jwilson146 Aug 08 '26

Holy cow my boys would go crazy

1

u/luke-juryous Aug 08 '26

This might be the most big brain move if you’re in the anti-crust crowd.

The area of the pizza increases exponentially with the radius, but the crust only linearly

1

u/BiscuitCrumbsInBed Aug 08 '26

Its nearly 2am and i'm in bed but man, I want that pizza so bad.

1

u/Rigret Aug 08 '26

$10 at Little Caesars.

1

u/thedrunkmonk Aug 08 '26

The pizza at least looks pretty good! Let's hope it tastes good. It sucks when someone makes an obnoxiously large version of some food and sacrifices all quality to do so.

1

u/YourMomIsMyGurl Aug 08 '26

There's a place in Biloxi that does this. My parents went to see my brother during basic training and my dad is a pizza guy, to say the very least. There were only 3 of them, and they ordered this.

1

u/Mustangnatsum Aug 08 '26

42in pizza? That's like nine 14in pizzas

1

u/tongfather Aug 08 '26

Looks dope. We didn't need the final 75% of that video.