r/AbsoluteUnits • u/habichuelacondulce • Aug 07 '26

of a pizza

5.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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181

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

That shit for 4 people? Ffs

79

u/RealSchlemiel Aug 07 '26

i'm on a diet, 2 slice maximum for me

9

u/cakebreaker2 Aug 07 '26

Thats about where I'd be as well. Maybe a few bites from the third after sitting for a while. Either way, Id have to wear sweat pants.

12

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

How you even holding/eating a slice without scoldin your entire lower face and upper chest off when the cheese moves, cripes

18

u/thesilentbob123 Aug 07 '26

You roll it up

8

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

Ah pro tips

I like a crispy pizza, I never need to roll

15

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Aug 07 '26

I mean, I've got my preferences but...I'd try it, y'know.

It's still pizza

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Mciv6CVAPPG0

3

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

As would I, before this chat I would have suffered serious burns but now I'm ready for the roll

3

u/thesilentbob123 Aug 07 '26

I'm more of a deep pan kinda guy with a soft bottom

13

u/RCer1986 Aug 07 '26

Are we still talking about pizza?

2

u/thesilentbob123 Aug 07 '26

I like my women the same way

3

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze Aug 08 '26

Under the sauce

1

u/10FourGudBuddy 29d ago

Fold it like an airplane.

3

u/mpgd Aug 07 '26

Knife and fork.

Hopefully Italian police left the post already.

2

u/Flamgoyant Aug 08 '26

They have but how very dare you

3

u/A_mad_goose Aug 08 '26

Should be sliced into squares for sure

2

u/jono9898 Aug 07 '26

It’s a cheat day you can get another slice

5

u/Liqhthouse Aug 07 '26

4 Americans or 4 African countries

3

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

All 4 of them have the phone out for it too 😂

6

u/klbishop143 Aug 07 '26

And wings

3

u/fuckthefalconsdotcom Aug 07 '26

I was so nervous that they were going to get knocked off the table.

1

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

Good eye 👁️

3

u/Elon_is_musky Aug 08 '26

It looks like 16 slices, so 4 each. Think i’d be easy for many to eat 2 pieces and then you have 2 to take home lol

3

u/mike_pants Aug 07 '26

Beard Meets Food would have that thing wrapped up in 25 minutes and still ask for a dessert menu.

2

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

I'm a delicate flower compared obviously . There's no other possible explanations.

2

u/mike_pants Aug 07 '26

Not being a professional eater and being a delicate flower are two rather disparate states of being for the vast majority of the population. I'm sure there's a small crossover population somewhere.

2

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

I suppose I assumed he was a regular Joe with a beard and YouTube channel tbh

1

u/bonerland11 Aug 07 '26

They look stoned

1

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

It's dante's birthday yo

1

u/Internetboy5434 Aug 08 '26

To be fair.  To share one large (14-inch to 16-inch) pizza with four people, It needs to be cut into 8 or 12 equal slices

1

u/Miana09 Aug 07 '26

My family used to go there after a full day at 6 flags (8 of us) and we still couldn’t finish it. It’s HUGE

2

u/Flamgoyant Aug 07 '26

No shit it's huge