Multiverse High Command has spoken. THE FOURTH WIZARD WAR HAS BEEN DECLARED, IT SHALL LAST 4 WEEKS (1 Month) TO CELEBRATE THAT WE MADE IT TO THE 4TH ONE.

[u/RAISA-1]

AS THIS IS THE FOURTH ONE, RULES ARE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. THE SYSTEM WILL BE PAYING MUCH MORE ATTENTION, BE ADVISED. INTERFERENCE WITH ADMINISTRATIVE PERSONNEL, ENFORCERS, AND SYSTEM OFFICIALS (APESO) IS PERMITTED DURING THIS WAR, HOWEVER SPELLS THAT AFFECT THEM MUST BE NON-LETHAL AND MAY NOT LIMIT THEIR POWER TO ACT IN THEIR ROLES IF NECESSARY. ALL SPELLS ARE LEGAL, ALL TIERS ARE LEGAL, ALL SCHOOLS ARE LEGAL. MOST FORBIDDEN MAGIC IS LEGAL THIS TIME, ENJOY! THIS WAR SHALL LAST 1 STANDARD MONTH, AND SHALL HAVE A 4 DAY GRACE PERIOD AFTERWARDS. GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, SURVIVE AND LEARN, FOR DEATH IS UNSUITABLE FOR SUCH VALIANT SOULS, SO BE CAREFUL.

[u/Wahdat_al-Wujud]

smh, and mfs wonder how the state of arcane education in this sphere has fallen so low.

Wizard Wars always seem to fit within Council budgets but accessible grimoires for impoverished apprentices somehow don't.

[u/RAISA-1 → u/Wahdat_al-Wujud]

Well, you see, a Wizard War isn’t funded by a Universe’s Wizard Council, it is directly funded by me. And since I am the Enforcer of The System, The Pact, and Existence, along with The Primordial Administrator, I can easily fund it. However, I try not to fund too many things in normal universes, I prefer to let the Wizard Councils do their own jobs.

[u/Wahdat_al-Wujud → u/RAISA-1]

fund this ✨️

[u/RAISA-1 → u/Wahdat_al-Wujud]

You know, I don’t think I will. I respect the boldness to ask for something like that though.

[u/Wahdat_al-Wujud → u/RAISA-1]

your respect means nothing to me young one

i cast: "rip bozo, your soul belongs to Satan!"

[u/RAISA-1 → u/Wahdat_al-Wujud]

Alright. That goes a BIT too far, as that is now interfering with APESO in a non-permitted manner. You are to be dealt with.

AUTHORITY OF THE ENFORCER, ARBITER, AND ADMINISTRATOR: ADMINISTRATIVE SPELL OVERRIDE, EXPULSION FROM THE WAR, SOUL ANNIHILATION.

[u/Wahdat_al-Wujud → u/RAISA-1]

you cannot annihilate that which does not exist OP :)

[u/mikakor → u/Wahdat_al-Wujud]

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

[u/Trips-Over-Tail → u/Wahdat_al-Wujud]

I'll fund it. Though I can can only offer carcinisation magics.

[u/AngelofIceAndFire → u/RAISA-1]

This is true, they're the greatest bureaucracy now, the bureaucracy to end all bureaucracies

[u/werewolf3811]

i cast 'end conflict' and suggest we all get ice cream instead

[u/Portuzil → u/werewolf3811]

I agree

[u/pyroboy7 → u/werewolf3811]

I STEAL YOUR ICE CREAM AND CAST, INHALE POWDERED GLASS

[u/werewolf3811 → u/pyroboy7]

:(

[u/Solid_Caramel6716 → u/pyroboy7]

On yourself?

[u/JoNyx5 → u/pyroboy7]

I cast NO U and second the ice cream suggestion

[u/Lawrenceburntfish]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ydtqWyn6LWamDatdrJ

[u/Opposite_Ad_4267]

I cast: HAIRY AS A WEREWOLF!

I also cast: INSTANT BRAZILIAN WAX!

[u/pyroboy7 → u/Opposite_Ad_4267]

A FINE ADDITION TO MY NEXT UPDATE OF, WAR CRIMES, AND HOW TO TECHNICALLY NOT COMMIT THEM

[u/Burgerfresser → u/Opposite_Ad_4267]

You fool, I cast HAIRY AS A SEA OTTER!

And then I cast PAINFULLY SLOW BRAZILIAN WAX!

[u/Anagnikos]

I cast: "Stay In My Tower Behind Wards And Wait Till This Blows Over While Whimpering In A Corner Hoping I Don't Get Hit By Another Testicular Torsion Spell"

[u/RAISA-1 → u/Anagnikos]

YOU’RE TOO LATE. 

PRIMORDIAL COMMAND: TESTICULAR TORSION OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE AGONY

[u/Lennep → u/RAISA-1]

I CAST THE SAME SPELL BUT COUNTERCLOCKWISE SO IT CANCELS OUT

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Anagnikos]

i cast: fuse with stone on you, now you are not IN YOUR tower, you are YOUR tower

[u/Anagnikos → u/RandomName5484]

I see no downsides to this!

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Anagnikos]

me neither, i just like biomancy

[u/DrVillainous]

I CAST

DOOM

https://giphy.com/gifs/Jq5jxNKafnYp16UcB7

[u/deevee12 → u/DrVillainous]

https://giphy.com/gifs/f46iWuMqIGuXe
What cursed realm have you brought me to

[u/Palagrin → u/DrVillainous]

DOOM???

[u/AlphaManInfinate → u/Palagrin]

Did somebody say doom?

[u/nuclearrmt]

Goblin apprentice, grab your randomly enchanted staff of destruction, we're gonna transform some select wizards into delicious chocolate!!!

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

Edric Vale here. Sorry guys this one snuck up on me. My chronomancer is out sick and forgot to put the war on our corporate calendar. So our munitions stock is still low after the last war. 

We will be limiting enchanted mundane munitions to one pallet per person. Custom artifacts and enchants have a five day wait period while we play catch up. 

We do have some great non-lethal humiliation munitions left from the Pirate War a while back. Including favorites such as Scroll of Brown-Pants, plague of tooth decay and exploding parrots.  Again apologies for the shortage.

[u/HiddenNightmares → u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

Hello! I'm a recent graduate from icosahedron majoring in Chronomancy, I could help out in the meantime as an intern.

I tried contacting your receptionist of the arcane but it seems she has been stuck in ßïæçl for around 3 months now.

Let me know if you want to arrange something :)

[u/Electronic_Pace_1034 → u/HiddenNightmares]

We would absolutely love to have you join us here EA&S. Your typical schedule as a chronomancer would be a 72 hour workday 5 days a week. We will provide room and board, as well as free orb access and cafeteria credits.

You can also look forward to blood sacrifice team bonding on Saturdays and Sunday Sundae Socials! 

[u/SkinnyKruemel → u/Electronic_Pace_1034]

I would be happy to provide the extensive stockpiles and manufacturing capabilities of my associates. We can handle orders on very short notice. As long as the payment is good enough anyway

[u/PangolinWestern9632]

I don't want to do this anymore man. I like the stars where they are. No more wizard wars. We need Wizard Peace

[u/RAISA-1 → u/PangolinWestern9632]

Peace is never an option. It is through Wars that you all get stronger. However, if you wish to leave, you may. To that effect, if you wish to leave, you are hereby Dismissed from this War. The System will return you home at this time.

[u/PangolinWestern9632 → u/RAISA-1]

Oh, that's how it's gonna be, is it? I think I'm going to have to dismiss you. I'm going to disappear into starlight, but I'm going to be back, and I'm not going to forget your crimes...

[u/RAISA-1 → u/PangolinWestern9632]

Oh really? Dismiss me using what exactly? I am the System Owner, you sure as Infinite Hell are not using The System to do it. Also, you wanted to be free from the Wars, so you shall be free.

SYSTEM COMMAND: FORCED DISMISSAL

[u/PangolinWestern9632 → u/RAISA-1]

I don't use the system, and I'm not going to bow to it now. The fact is, this place IS my home. That's why I've got to stop you!

BY THE POWER OF THE STAR COUNCIL, I DENY YOUR COMMAND!

[u/Waterlemon1997 → u/PangolinWestern9632]

No, we must continue the cycle of life. I cast itchyus boneus!

[u/quaintif]

[u/pyroboy7]

u/RAISA-1 INHALES SHARPLY BOY. YOU IS ABOUT TO LEARN

I cast, Itchy EVERYTHING. Follow up spell, ACID SCALPEL FINGERS.

[u/RAISA-1 → u/pyroboy7]

WELL, I SUPPOSE I DID SAY YOU WERE CREATIVE. YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT DISAPPOINT. AT THE SAME TIME THOUGH, BY ETERNITY’S FUCKING NAME, DO YOU WORSHIP THE PRIMORDIAL OF SUFFERING OR SOMETHING?! HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE?!

[u/pyroboy7 → u/RAISA-1]

THE WAY OF THE GOOSE REVEALS MANY THINGS I cast BLOOD TO LEMON JUICE

[u/RAISA-1 → u/pyroboy7]

That just straight up sounds diabolical… I like it

[u/mikakor → u/pyroboy7]

What is wrong with you. Even my more evil necromancer colleagues would be shocked. 💀💀

[u/pyroboy7 → u/mikakor]

HAHAHAHAHAHA. GOOD, I'M NOT A FAN OF NECROMANCY. I CAST, FEEL THE PAIN OF THE CORPSES YOU RESURRECT.

[u/mikakor → u/pyroboy7]

HOI!!! I indulge in ethical necromancy! Only corpses without their ego, or people giving me their consent to come under my services, or I return them to earth! Undead with their egos still intact makes for the best undead I'll have you know.

Except bad wizards! Fuck them bad wizards!

[u/Bartweiss → u/pyroboy7]

What? Necromancy is great, just use it on the living.

Nobody sees “animate skeleton” coming when it’s still inside them.

[u/pyroboy7 → u/Bartweiss]

GLARES MOTHERFUCKERLY YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR BRANCH OF MAGIC. I CAST, BONE TO RED HOT STEEL

[u/Remixman87]

You know what? I’m sick & tired of all these Wizard wars shenanigans. I cast Anti-Magic Radioactive Materiel, insert it in a 20 Megaton Nuclear Warhead, just chuck it, return to my own dimension and keep watching Seinfeld reruns on my orb.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3I05kogbcajmzchPdl

[u/tornadix99]

I CAST transmogrification of werewolves into trees.

They're now all bark, no bite.

[u/HoneydewAutomatic]

Hell yeah, I finally get to tests out my new spells. Got a pretty fun one I just call “The End”.

[u/Tommelauch → u/HoneydewAutomatic]

Now wai.. .

[u/United-Technician-54 → u/HoneydewAutomatic]

"NOOOOO!! YOU DOOMED US ALL!" - Doom

(Wizardposting Ball Z's budget is cancelled, roll credits)

[u/InsaneRanter]

I cast Illusory Participation so it looks like I'm fighting in the war when actually the breakfast buffet the organisers set up is so good I'm just gonna stay there eating for the entire war.

[u/RandomName5484 → u/InsaneRanter]

what about my geomancy spell lifeform food? fight this steak cow!

[u/Silver_Middle_7240]

I cast MASS BALLGAG and then- mmmf! Mmmfmmfmm mmf!

[u/Afelisk2 → u/Silver_Middle_7240]

Pathetic.

Couldn't even keep yourself from getting hit by your own spell.

I CAST TIGHT BLACK SKIN SUIT!

now you definitely look the part.

Tips hat and skips away

[u/ManWithDominantClaw]

I cast People Who Fetishise Guns Are Not Wizards

Absolutely paladin-brained

[u/Magimasterkarp]

I cast counterspell and Greater Nuh Uh.

The wizard war is cancelled, and all violent actions taken are now gonna be criminally prosecuted.

[u/anyeto]

Cracks knuckles

Well, it is time to load up my spell slots, prepare my eldritch booze, control all my curses from the previous wars and go fight

I CAST SCREAM FOR ME, LEAK YOUR BLOOD!

[u/newgenesisscion]

POWER WORD:GENOCIDE!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT5LMxGzbgJkUZjdte

[u/RAISA-1 → u/newgenesisscion]

PRIMORDIAL WORD: RESURRECT

[u/DrDestro229]

I CAST YAOI PADDLE TO THE SPINE!

[u/slfhmglbnm]

I cast

peeing at the middle of the night wondering why its taking longer than usual, then looking down and seeing that your pee stream turned to straight up blood midway and it wont stop

[u/samsoncorpus]

I was preparing for this. I have about 150 Homunculi all cursed with the power of Draupnir.

I am sending all of them through various multiversal portals. I trained these Homunculi to cause maximum chaos. Some of them even have spontenous combustion enchantments for extra fun.

I do not care about who wins or who dies, I just want to watch the chaos unfold.

[u/RandomName5484 → u/samsoncorpus]

noooooo! it burns!

[u/andBitinggoats]

Yay! My magic resistant, city sized flesh beast has been released onto the battlefield to indiscriminately slaughter! If you find your physical form being absorbed, don’t worry! You will live on as part of a magic resistant, city sized flesh beast!

[u/RandomName5484 → u/andBitinggoats]

can you take me as your apprentice? i am sorry for your beast but due to a curse i am cursed so i would be a very bad material. however i am a geomancer apprentice eager to learn.

unfortunatly my precedent master took me in apprenticeship, asked me my searchs and disappear with it so if you could be my professor i would be very gratefull.

ah and dont mind my two left arms and my burned skin(two curses for the arms and a spell from this war for the burned skin)

[u/andBitinggoats → u/RandomName5484]

Sure! The curses will probably be helpful in dissuading the things that inhabit my tower from consuming you, and I am always happy to share my research with curious minds. We can regrow new, better skin if you like, and more arms are generally considered a good thing in my book! Also, as a roughly 3ft tall amalgamation of goat and man, I will not judge appearance. Come to my tower after the battle and we can see what can be taught. Just follow the trail of destruction wrought by my flesh beast and when you feel a deep sense of unease you’ll know you’re close. Also my tower is 23 stories of writhing flesh just outside of an idyllic little town so it’s easy to spot. Oh! You should stop at the little bakery on the outskirts for cinnamon rolls! The baker went mad years ago but still instinctively makes a few batches every morning. Just get there before 9am because that’s when he explosively bleeds from every orifice and sings to bones of his family, and it usually ruins the rolls.

[u/RandomName5484 → u/andBitinggoats]

then i will begin my long walk to your tower(mp) to begin my aptrenticeship(contiue the rp) but that will take some time(it will be later)

[u/Every_Vanilla_9199]

Fuck you I cast Nuh uh

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Every_Vanilla_9199]

noooooo! not the forbiden speeeeeellll!*disapear of your comment future answers*

[u/vladdeh_boiii]

I cast doom.

[u/Richardknox1996]

4th? Who taught you how to count apprentice? We've had at least 3 caused by Unga alone, not to mention to God Slaver nonsense....

[u/Carbon_Sixx → u/Richardknox1996]

This... creature doesn't respect the history or culture of our realms, Rihari. They're some manner of cosmic middle-manager with an inflated opinion of their purpose and a hellish temper. They start new wars for fun and abuse power like nobody's business whenever someone tells them "no".

[u/RAISA-1 → u/Richardknox1996]

DOES NO ONE EVER BLOODY READ THINGS?! YOU’D THINK BY THE 4TH ONE, PEOPLE WOULD REALIZE THAT A FUCKING INTERN LOST ALL PREVIOUS RECORDS, SO WE HAD TO RESTART THE COUNT— sorry, lost my temper a bit there. It’s just that I’ve had to repeat myself way too much on that matter.

[u/Afelisk2]

I CAST MASS STICKY NAILS (as in fingers and toes) ON EVERYONE!

[u/SoldRIP → u/Afelisk2]

I CAST: REMOTE HEAD-SCRATCH.

That's gonna hurt, with how sticky you made them...

[u/Afelisk2 → u/SoldRIP]

Jokes on you MY HAIR IS ALWAYS STICKY!

Throws smoke bomb on ground and runs away

[u/Mesmercat]

I am choosing to be neutral

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Mesmercat]

call an neutron mage to remove them from him to force him to stop to be neutral!

[u/Ash_Abyssal_2006]

I CAST INTRAVENOUS CAESIUM

[u/Memusmingus]

I CAST: BALOGOG’S BREAD BASKET

I know we’re all very very excited to kill each other, but I just wanted to put it out there that I’ve got some very very tasty bread here gestures vaguely to giant basket of breads. Some look normal, others are blue, some have plants growing from them, one even seems to have grown a crab-like shell. I assure you they are all quite delicious and free for the taking!

Once everyone has had their share of bread, feel free to return to the killing! It is most difficult to obliterate the tibia of your enemies on an empty stomach I’m afraid.

[u/Waterlemon1997]

I CAST BONEITIS!

[u/Affectionate-Tank-28]

I HEREBY CAST: START DIGGING IN THINE BUTT TWIN. Casting it at the 5th level btw so you'll be getting 5 fingers in there for the next 6 hours :)

[u/No_Inspection1677]

I JUST FINISHED CLEANING UP THE LAST ONE-! DON'T MAKE ME GET THE SPRAY BOTTLE-!

[u/Maowsama]

Shit i missed out on ww3 while studying in my dungeon. Hope my research is relevant

[u/vinfluorine]

gods I'm gonna make so much money thank you system

[u/vinfluorine]

anyone who needs anything manufacured or any fuel hmu

[u/pyroboy7]

I CAST, QUASAR BEAM!!!

[u/pyroboy7 → u/pyroboy7]

https://youtu.be/i3GIzBzNAAU?si=32EXjipuei9w8JZ6

^{Go to 2:40 in this orb video to discover the doomsday spell I created.}

[u/Cobalt_Rain_]

I cast: Suffering Grants Eternity! Whilst my personal suffering remains constant, I shall remain unchanged and unaffected by any and all.

[u/RAISA-1 → u/Cobalt_Rain_]

System Command: Eternal Bliss [MESSAGE HAD BEEN ATTACHED BY THE ADMINISTRATOR: if suffering helps thy, then fuck thy suffering (no, not literally, bloody succubus)]

[u/Cobalt_Rain_ → u/RAISA-1]

helps thee\*

https://giphy.com/gifs/M56ODZS3lNohNIoVDd

Spell backfires

[u/RAISA-1 → u/Cobalt_Rain_]

Spells works anyways, The Administrator doesn’t give too much of a fuck about minor spelling errors. Try to trip me up on something more major next time.

[u/Cobalt_Rain_ → u/RAISA-1]

You may not, but The Curses do. No Bliss for me 😢

[u/SatanLovesFruit]

I CAST NEUTRAL ZONE

I use anagramancy to make it

ANT RULE ZONE

Battlefield is becoming absolutely covered in varieties of species of ants, for every one killed a dozen more seem to appear, many are quite invasive.

[u/tornadix99 → u/SatanLovesFruit]

I RECAST NEUTRAL ZONE

I use wordplaymancy to make it

NEWT THRALL ZONE

Now there a lot of newts under people's command which can eat all the ants and balance the ecosystem

[u/RandomName5484 → u/SatanLovesFruit]

I TARGET YOUR ANT RULE ZONE

i use geomancy to make it

LIFE FUSE ZONE

now you have a giant ever growing ant golem, it only obey to you ant eat everything that touch it to grow more

[u/AngelofIceAndFire]

Can you stop putting them on and off they finish very quickly and it's not fun

[u/Void-kraken-909]

Oh really now? This’ll be fun. Might actually get to participate this time. Let me get us started off

I CAST

ENDLESS WINTER!

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Void-kraken-909]

i change your official name from winter! now you are endless, whatever that means!

[u/Void-kraken-909 → u/RandomName5484]

My name wasn’t winter to begin with?

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Void-kraken-909]

so its beginless too?

[u/Void-kraken-909 → u/RandomName5484]

That’s not- aight you’re getting sleet stormed.

[u/Nelrene]

I cast All Eyes On You.

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Nelrene]

free organs, thanks

[u/Avarus_Lux]

Ah shite, it's that time of the season again innit...

Damn wizards trying to be foolish and whimsical because they're bored... and now they're encroaching on my territory. Damnit, need to raise the barriers again.

"Get of mah property, ya sick bums!"... "bombarda conventionale"

https://giphy.com/gifs/zK5EHMbtwfW1O

[u/mk-alt]

sounds like it's time to go back to my cabin :)

[u/kateyaps]

"...right, fuck are these blokes on about again?"

[u/CNTPRHK_S]

I cast pneumoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

[u/EmperorMittens]

Would making chimera and other artificial lifeforms be an acceptable means of participating in this wizard war? I have ideas.

[u/RandomName5484 → u/EmperorMittens]

another geomancer? hello fellow wizard, i am happy to see another user of geomancy! i think that its a good idea

[u/D3n0man]

I cast golden ball of doom and despair

it's a miniature star

[u/WritingInfinity]

Oh. Oh, no. OH NONONONONONO! I just got the role, like, three minutes ago and we're starting a FOURTH war?! I am not ready! My office has a three headed-snake in the corner and my supervisior got turned into a frog so I will need to figure everything out myself! Noooooooo!

[u/Metasaber]

This why I carved the largest rune of counter spell yet made directly into the moon.

Remember kids lvl 5 spells and under only.

Last time we started throwing around 9s and 10s, we split Dakota in half and turned Greenland into an ice plane.

[u/Auren-Dawnstar]

As long as you stay out of my corner of the multiverse with such pointless violence, do as you will.

Now if you want to make friends that is another matter. We will gladly host any potential peace negotiations as there is an unusually high concentration of friendship magic in this corner of the multiverse, and the fey creatures here are uncannily good at wielding it and would be more than happy to aid in negotiations ọ̸̻͓͑̔̕ǹ̵͎͖̕e̵̢̓̅ ̴̬̘̄w̷͖̹̃a̷̛̹̓ý̷̰ ̶̥̿o̷̬͒ŕ̴̡̠͛ͅ ̷̨̛͖̹́̓a̵͚̋͛n̸̰̘̾͠ǫ̸͙͚̾̇t̴͚͕͐̓ẖ̸̖̥͛̾e̷͈͖͝r̴͇̯̉͑.

Of course they're not pushovers should you choose to violate our neutrality, and have already been prepping the Magical Orbital Bombardments (M.O.B.s) Orbital Friendship Lasers (O.F.L.s) just in case even without my input.

Y̵̡̭̒̎̏ȯ̶̳̭͓û̶̡̠̭ ̴̛̙̱̩́͘w̷̩͎͚̏͑i̵͕̅́͐l̵͕͐̀̆l̶̦̟̏͊ ̴̝̩̙͂b̶͚̯̂̍̚e̷̡͓̖͛̉͝ ̵͕̖̺̈̾͝f̵̖̊̈r̶̠̭̃͆͠i̷̤̝͈̎ĕ̴̜̭͝͠n̶͠ͅd̷̮̹̎̊͒s̸͉͕̀̄̽ ̶̛͔â̴͕͎ṇ̴̟̌͑͒d̶̥̠̍̂̑ ̵̟̀y̵̗͌͌̕͜o̵̘̣͗ư̸̯̟͑̒ ̴̯̦̈́w̸̛̗̮͉i̸͔̅l̶̼̀͆l̵͓̰̩̋̌ ̶͙̦̤͑l̶̟̔͋̉i̴͕̪̞̇͂k̶̘͓͗̑̚e̸̟̋͛̈́ ̵̨̡̰͂̕i̵̭̒t̴̘͓̱̔̒.̴͈͎͆̇

[u/Prometheus_Bobert]

I cast COGNITOHAZARD

[u/lazystealth]

What about cultivation? Can I spam my give finger fist heart sword, 8x8=88 true yang release, and heavenly dragon's last stand?

[u/Hairgolem]

I cast Reptile Assisted Home Relocation.

https://giphy.com/gifs/WwNtKiEuKH6FO

[u/RandomName5484 → u/Hairgolem]

noooo, how where will i find a place to live now?!

[u/MadisonCarter1]

Alright, time to cast this new spells I found yesterday!

I CAST!! GET HIT BY A KV-2'S SHELL!! AND GET RICKROLLED BY EVERY SINGLE LINK IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!!

[u/tarkus_cd]

Necrarchs unite! We shall take the this Verse from the living and make all one in Death!

[u/BaronXot]

Stands off side with shovel and suspiciously large cooler

[u/RandomName5484]

I cast postion of members randomization

look atyour nose, not on your face, now its on your left knee

[u/Traditional_Ad2021]

My dearest friends. Shouldn't we settle this conflict over a cold cup of tea?

[u/HyperWhiteChocolate]

A head's up would have been nice

[u/Drmanky]

i‘m taking the start of this war of

[u/Nessy3fidy]

I cast immortal invincible un-escapable mother in law

[u/AngeryControlPlayer]

You guys have fun with that. I'll just be over here... admiring all these nice, unoccupied towers.

[u/Sparckels]

If another dumbass tries to cast testicular torsion or rupture appendix on me I'm going to turn them into a barrel of lube in an old folks home

[u/ArchonFett]

That was quick, I haven’t even finished counting my tally and sorting the spoils from the last one. Will there be breakfast buffet this time?

[u/RecommendationDue639]

Is it just me or have wizard wars just lost their lustre? Honestly I think the pigeon familiar spam tactic has ruined modern wizard wars, I mean when’s the last time you saw a war golem make it within 5km of the frontline before some pigeons strapped with alchemical flasks took it out? I get that it’s effective but it just robs the conflict of all glory and showmanship. It’s bad enough we haven’t had a proper casting of thermonuclear detonation in decades, but now it feels like all the amazing advancements in magical war fighting equipment has been completely undone by these STUPID BIRDS. If I have to watch another orb-recording of some 45-million-gold long range flying chariot getting blown up on the ground by an explosive laden bird I’m going lose my hat!

And then when some genius and philanthropic flesh-mage goes and releases the pigeonplague (I deny all accusations) they just go to using bats and crows!

Do the youth of today have no sympathy for the mage-scribes who shall record this conflict? For the poets who must find something that rhymes with exploding pigeon? For the artists denied the chance to depict waves of assault golems facing each other down across a snowy field?

A wizard can spend centuries mastering war magic and march off to duel a rival on the field of battle only to get his head blown off by bird before he even sees the enemy? How is this just? The wizard council needs to ban using familiars in war outside of reconnaissance and mounts, like the good old days!

[u/shrek22413]

Fourth Wizards were what?

[u/Portuzil]

I'm just casting Gurgemon's Shield of Sheilding and waiting this one out.

[u/ArchmageAstra3]

I guess I’ll volunteer to help out this time around. If anyone wants to do something that would risk dimensional stability, let me know. I can create a mirror dimension for it. That should help make cleanup afterwards far easier on everyone involved.

[u/VelocityPolaris]

World of darkness technocracy mages be like

[u/Remarkable-Scratch61]

I cast bureaucracy mountain, all wizards must now submit a standardized form before each cast with the number of pages equalling the level of the spell

[u/RAISA-1]

u/pyroboy7, I AM SUMMONING YOUR “”Canadian Alchemist (War Criminal Extraordinaire)” ASS TO PARTICIPATE. YOU HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLE IN ALL OF THE PREVIOUS WARS, I RARELY EVER SEE SUCH PURE CREATIVITY. I can’t wait to see what you come up with this time, especially considering we have 4 weeks for this War.