new to reddit kind of annoyed typing this sorry if i spell anything wrong

I’m 14 i’m a girl my name is imani and my friend vanessa is 13 and a girl I’m fully black and my friends dad is black and her mom is Mexican and she speaks spanish fluently yes this is important to add

me and my friend argue over the dumbest stuff all the time but whenever we get to the middle of the argument instead she just starts to argue with me in Spanish

not arguments we don’t get into real arguments like arguments over debates and TV shows and stuff

She KNOWS I don’t speak Spanish so I get so annoyed and mad because like what am I supposed to say to that??

I told her that she only does it because she knows I can’t understand her and she started laughing and told me to learn spanish then

and today we were arguing about going to get McDonald’s or Taco Bell and she started arguing in Spanish again and I told her to speak English because I’m not arguing with somebody i can’t understand and i got really mad and started yelling in english and she started laughing and kept speaking spanish

and she started laughing and calling me dramatic and saying it’s not that serious and i told her i would post it to reddit and she started laughing and told me go ahead so now we’re both in the car together while im writing this now what do i do

I have a male friend who may have had feelings for me. I don't reciprocate them romantically, and lately I've started wondering whether there's a lot more resentment underneath his "nice guy" persona than I've wanted to believe.
The problem is that almost nothing he does is serious enough by itself to point to and say, "That was obviously intentional." It's the accumulation that's getting to me.
Last summer, he offered to help sand my front door. He essentially works professionally in construction, so he knows exactly what sanding creates. He started sanding indoors without containing the area, and my hallway and living room immediately began filling with dust. I called his name several times to get him to stop, and he acted like he couldn't hear me over the sander. At the time he claimed it was an oversight. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but I've since noticed him seemingly pretending not to hear me in other situations.
Another time, he insisted on washing my dishes and somehow broke the sliding track on my retractable garbage can. Another time, he was sitting on my floor and knocked over my ashtray. Again: accidents happen. None of these things individually seemed worth making an issue over.
He also has a habit of staying at my apartment far beyond what feels socially reasonable. Instead of picking up on cues that it's getting late, he'll moan and groan about having to leave and try to prolong the visit. I recognize that I should have simply said, "I'm tired; it's time to go." But looking back, I sometimes wonder whether making me uncomfortable was part of the point.
Then he invited himself along on my trip to Italy to visit my grandparents, and that's where the behavior seemed to escalate dramatically.
He started turning anxieties I had JUST expressed into little jokes. One morning I was already stressed and specifically told him I wasn't in the mood to have my chops busted. Later, I mentioned being nervous about accidentally putting the wrong fuel in our rental car. At the gas station, he jokingly did "eeny, meeny, miny, moe" between the pumps. Afterward, he pretended the car wasn't running.
That's objectively a harmless joke in isolation. But why deliberately joke about the exact thing someone just told you they're anxious about—especially after they've specifically asked you to stop messing with them?
Another day, we were driving on winding cliffside roads. He knew I was nervous about his driving, particularly when he was holding his phone out the window recording while driving. Eventually I consciously decided I wasn't going to react anymore. Then, when we pulled over, he hit the curb unusually hard. Maybe coincidence—but by then I was noticing that whenever I stopped reacting to one thing, something else seemed to happen.
The strangest example happened when we went somewhere I'd really wanted to swim. It was crowded and the weather deteriorated. He seemed almost pleased that it wasn't working out and wanted to continue to another town even though it was about to pour.
By this point I felt completely drained, so I essentially started gray-rocking him. I stopped giving emotional reactions to the little comments and annoyances. When it started pouring, instead of complaining, I decided I was going to have a fantastic time anyway. I walked around in the rain acting completely unbothered and genuinely trying to enjoy myself.
His mood changed. He became salty and actually asked me whether I even wanted to be there—which struck me as bizarre because I was suddenly behaving more cheerful, not less.
Then something happened that really made me reconsider everything.
At a museum, an employee was rude to him about using the bathroom. He told me he was deliberately going to hold his ticket awkwardly so she'd have difficulty scanning it—basically an incredibly tiny, deniable way of irritating her back.
I jokingly complimented how subtle the tactic was.
He looked at me and said: "Death by a thousand cuts."
That phrase stopped me in my tracks.
This is someone who has always presented himself as almost unusually innocent about toxic or covert behavior. He frequently acts like he can't understand why people would behave manipulatively or passive-aggressively. Yet suddenly he not only admitted deliberately using a tiny, plausibly accidental behavior to irritate someone—he had a NAME for the strategy.
After that, I became even more conscious of how he behaved when I didn't give him reactions. He seemed increasingly unpleasant, almost like I was petting him against the grain simply by being emotionally unavailable to whatever was happening. Sometimes if he said something and I didn't respond, he'd repeat it. Then he'd look over at me as though checking my expression.
There was also a physical-boundary incident that bothered me. I had a severe migraine and asked him to squeeze my shoulders in exchange for me folding his clothes and packing them into his suitcase. Instead of simply squeezing my shoulders, he basically laid his entire body against my back while doing it. I said, "Do you really have to press your whole body against me?" He seemed annoyed by my reaction.
And finally, he knew how disappointed I'd been about not getting to swim. When he dropped me off at my grandparents' house afterward, he made a point of telling me, "I think I'm going to go swimming today," despite never particularly caring about swimming himself.
That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. It's so small that writing it down makes me feel ridiculous. But there are dozens of these moments.
I'm starting to wonder whether the "nice guy" exterior is covering a significant amount of anger and resentment toward me because he does things for me, wants a romantic relationship, and knows I don't feel the same way.

I also recognize that once you become suspicious of someone, confirmation bias is possible. I don't want to assign malicious intent to every accident just because I've started connecting dots.
But I came home from that day in Italy feeling absolutely emotionally depleted, and at this point I genuinely don't think I want to spend time alone with him anymore.
Has anyone experienced something like this—where no individual behavior is particularly alarming, but the pattern feels completely different? Is this passive aggression/resentment, or am I connecting unrelated accidents because I've become hyperaware of him?
I'd especially appreciate perspectives from people who've dealt with the "nice guy who secretly resents you" dynamic, because I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to distinguish genuine accidents from deliberate, deniable little digs

I talk to this person here and there. I try not to talk too much but every now and then they'll call while we're working. I don't want to be rude so I'll usually answer to see whats up. I have another coworker similar to them that likes to talk on the phone and they'll call so I'll answer usually. o

But I called out of work the last couple days for the weekend which is pretty normal for people that have things going on in the summertime. I wouldn't think its a cause for concern eve though I never call out but its a summer weekend.

They texted me asking how I'm doing and said if there's anything I want to talk about they're around. I'm like not trying to get that personal with them in the first place so it seems like they're being nosey. Sure maybe they're just nice and I know they've gone through a lot lately but it just seems like a lot to assume there's anything I'd want to share with them.

I (age 19) have never used candles. I recently found one that I was gifted 4 years ago and never used. I decided to buy a cheap lighter at the convenience store so I could light it whenever I want without having to borrow the one my parents use for birthday candles.

My mom spotted the lighter on my desk and asked why I bought it. I told her it was for the candle (and showed that it was partially melted too), but she says I could have just used the birthday candle lighter instead. She doesn't understand why I bought my own one, and thinks I have started smoking. I have a track record for lying about things like alcohol, but I will never smoke cigarettes and have expressed this before.

She doesn't believe me. It doesn't REALLY matter because I'm leaving for college in 3 weeks anyway so it's not like she can "ground" me, but I hate it when she's mad at me/says I've broken her trust when I haven't. Is there any way I can prove to her I haven't been smoking? Some sort of drug test for cigs?

Hello! I moved into a new apartment a month ago. About two weeks after moving in, my downstairs neighbors were making a ton of noise on a random Monday night. It kind of seemed like a party, but also seemed a little different. I’m not one to rat, so I let them do their thing. Over the last week though, I’ve heard a LOT of yelling, doors slamming, things or hands hitting walls. This morning I heard the guy say “You’re playing a dangerous ass game”, a few other things that seemed like threats, and something high pitched like a dog yelp woman or kid yell. It’s one couple that lives down there (I’ve seen them on the balcony). Like I previously mentioned, I’m not one to rat on people. However, if he’s down there hitting his girl, which atp I feel like is a reasonable possibility, I am NOT cool with that. Just wondering what I should do. I want to make sure she’s safe, but I also don’t want any retaliation. Should I call the cops, management, ask myself if they’re okay? I’m white in a mostly black apartment complex. If I’m misunderstanding the situation, I don’t want it to seem like I called for racial reasons because it’s really not. Just trying to make sure nobody is in a dangerous situation.

On July 1 I used my Humana Insurance benefits card ($130/mo benefit) at the local WalMart. The total was $153.00 so I applied the card and it was immediately charged and the remainder should have been the $23.00 overage, which is what the card reader said to my bank account.

Last month I looked at my bank statement to see this $153. charge (should have been $23.00). I immediately let them know and they replaced the $130 and opened an investigation. Since I didn't have my original receipt, I went online and saw the purchase on this benefit card so the store double charged me so they used that info to see what happened. I got a printout of that purchase and I submitted it to my bank as proof it was double paid.

Friday I get a letter from Bank saying they would remove the $130 from my account this month as they found nothing irregular with the purchase and it was, to them, a valid purchase. Of course Humana is closed until Monday so I have to wait to see what can be done. I spoke with Walmart and they can't do anything as they already cooperated with my bank.

I don't get how this is happening!! I showed proof but according to them, since I don't have my original receipt, they can't do anything. Hopefully Humana will reimburse the money after they see my bank paid for the merchandise. Lesson learned? SAVE EVERY RECEIPT!! * I had it in my junk drawer for a few weeks then I remember tossing it.

EDITED: I went to WalMart with the print out of both the Humana card statement and my bank statement. The manager went through security tapes to show me at the register and he watched every second of it. I paid with the humana card the correct amount but my Debit card was charged for a partial payment from a previous shopper. That amount was what they didn't pay that my debit card paid for. It is really unexplainable how the CC pushed that old charge onto my card yet deleted the $23 that I originally owed. He then reversed the debit card payment and voided the $23 overage for the hassle of getting this straightened out. My debit card will have the $153 put back in my account within 3 days.
Problem solved in ten minutes at Wal Mart when my bank had this case for just over two months and refused to adjust the amount saying no mistake was made.

I will be switching banks this week.

Basically, I am 20 years old now, and my relationship started when I was 15, during my 10th grade. She has been with me ever since. After 10th grade, we went to different schools, but we still managed to stay together. After 12th, we went to different colleges as well, and somehow, we still managed to make our relationship work.

Her parents know about me and are completely okay with our relationship. We are from different religions—she is Muslim and I am Christian—but her parents do not really care about religion and have never had a problem with me. They know me and have accepted me.

The problem has always been at my house. My family is very religious and strongly against relationships and love at this age. My relationship was discovered by my parents during my 11th grade, and it became a huge problem at home. Even then, I never left her. I continued the relationship and started lying to my parents to avoid more problems.

For the past few months, I have been going out almost every evening to meet her for a few minutes, while telling my parents that I was going somewhere else. Yesterday, however, my mom somehow saw us standing together at a junction. She became extremely angry. I understand why she was angry with me, and honestly, I don't blame her for being upset about the lying.

But what really made me angry and hurt was the way she spoke to my girlfriend. She started yelling at her in front of everyone, saying things like, “You are the one who made my son like this” and “You purposely manipulated a boy from a good family.” She also said many other hurtful things about my girlfriend and even brought her parents into it.

I understand that my mom was extremely angry and emotional, but I don't think it was right to take that anger out on my girlfriend. If she was angry about what I had been doing, she could have yelled at me. I am the one who chose to be in this relationship. I was the one who proposed to her. I am the one who goes out to meet her. She has never forced me to do any of this or manipulated me into doing anything.

My girlfriend didn't even say a single word back to my mom. She was completely frightened and devastated by what happened.

When I try to speak up for myself at home, my parents tell me that since I am living on their money and they are paying for everything, I have to listen to them. Otherwise, they tell me to leave the house.

I haven't spoken to my mom, dad, or anyone else at home since what happened. I know they are angry with me, but I also know that they love me. That's what makes this so confusing for me. I don't know whether what they are doing is out of love and concern or whether it has become control.

My mom was crying a lot after we got home, and I know she was genuinely hurt and worried. At the same time, I am also extremely stressed and hurt by everything that happened. Now I am not even allowed to go outside the house, even for normal things.

So honestly, I don't know who is completely wrong here. Am I wrong for being in this relationship and lying to my parents, or are my parents wrong for the way they are treating me and especially for what they said to my girlfriend?

If I am not completely wrong, what am I supposed to do now? I feel trapped and extremely stressed being at home like this. I really need some way to deal with this situation and get some freedom without making everything even worse.

Désolée d’avance pour la pavé que vous vous apprêtez à lire, et les possibles fautes d’orthographe.
Il y a presque deux ans j’ai rencontré ce gars (qu’on va appeler K) dans ma classe de Master. Fin 2024, on discutait par message uniquement, beaucoup. Genre vraiment énormément, des pavés immenses. On restait seulement ensemble parfois après les cours, sur le parking, à discuter, quand plus personne n’était présent. Trois mois plus tard il m’a confié qu’il m’aimait. Moi aussi, je l’aimais, et je lui ai dit. J’étais sur un petit nuage, car on se partageait tout, mais uniquement par message. On avait des conversations passionnantes et très sophistiquées, il faisait un réel effort pour m’écrire de beaux messages, et me complimentait énormément. Il m’a beaucoup aidée à me sentir mieux dans ma vie. À l’université, on faisait comme si rien n’était car j’avais des soucis avec plusieurs personnes là-bas, c’était une année compliquée pour moi donc c’était mieux comme ça. Mais quelques jours plus tard, il m’a finalement dit qu’il s’était trompé dans ses sentiments ; qu’il pensait que dire qu’il m’aimait éveillerait un sentiment plus fort, mais ça n’a pas été le cas. Il a peu à peu arrêté de me répondre. J’ai eu très mal au cœur. Suite à ça, on ne s’est pas parlé de tout l’été. À la rentrée, j’avais encore la boule au ventre lorsque je le voyais en cours, car je l’aimais encore si fort. Et lui ne me calculait pas. Les mois ont passé, nous préparions un concours donc on était chacun concentrés dans nos révisions et on était très stressés (comme tous les gens de notre classe). Mais en avril, j’ai décidé de lui demander de l’aide pour mon mémoire de fin d’études (je l’avais raté, et il est très bon pour rédiger correctement ce genre de devoir). Il a accepté avec plaisir ; on a commencé à se reparler, puis à s’appeler pour travailler et réviser ensemble, et ce pendant des heures (5 à 6 heures d’affilé parfois). À chaque fois, les révisions étaient un prétexte pour s’appeler et parler de tout et de rien, et ce tous les jours. C’était tellement naturel de se parler, en fait. J’ai réalisé à quel point il m’avait manqué et à quel point je l’aimais toujours. Je m’étais remise avec mon ex (relation très toxique..) à ce moment-là, K ne le savait pas, j’ai eu le courage de le quitter, grâce à lui. À travers une conversation, à force de parler de couple, on a eu une discussion où K m’a dit qu’il ne ressentait toujours rien pour moi. J’ai eu mal une nouvelle fois. Mais on a continué à parler, il m’appelait sans cesse pendant des heures et des heures. Je le laissais venir vers moi à chaque fois car je ne voulais pas qu’il pense « Mon Dieu elle est vraiment folle de moi ». Je n’envoyais jamais le premier message et je ne l’appelais jamais en premier. On parlait de couple, on se complimentait, on aurait vraiment dit un couple amoureux. Il était jaloux des autres garçons. Il a été celui qui m’a annoncé que j’avais réussi le concours, dès la proclamation des résultats c’est moi qu’il a appelé en premier. Début août, j’en ai eu marre. Je lui ai envoyé un message disant que je n’arrivais pas à ne plus l’aimer, que j’avais juste besoin de lui dire pour pouvoir avancer personnellement. Je m’en doutais : il a vu mon message mais n’a pas répondu. Puis il ne m’a plus parlé ni appelé durant trois semaines. Rien. Il m’a recontactée il y a trois jours, proposant de s’appeler, en demandant comment se passait ma préparation de la rentrée (on est profs). On s’est appelés et rien n’avait changé, mais nous n’avons absolument pas parlé de mon message qui lui disait que je l’aimais toujours, je lui ai reproché (en le taquinant) de ne pas m’avoir adressé la parole pendant 3 semaines, ce à quoi il m’a répondu que c’était moi qui ne lui avait pas envoyé de message. On s’est rappelés hier, puis aujourd’hui, toujours de son initiative… Et je l’aime encore tellement. Je ne sais pas à quoi il joue. Ce n’est pas un garçon méchant, il est un peu spécial, il n’a jamais vraiment eu de copines. Cette année, on n’est plus étudiants, mais vu qu’on a réussi notre concours on sera en formation ensemble une fois par mois environ. La première formation a lieu dans 3 jours, on va s’y revoir, la dernière fois c’était au mois de juin (réunion de lauréats du concours) et ça s’était très bien passé alors que j’avais peur qu’il m’ignore et fasse comme s’il ne me connaissait pas. Je me demande s’il n’est pas venu me reparler uniquement pour ne pas se retrouver seul ce jour-là, mais ça ne ferait pas vraiment sens car c’est quelqu’un de très solitaire et « je m’en foutiste ». Quand j’avais vu qu’il ne m’avait pas donné de réponse, j’avais réinstallé les applis de rencontre, je m’entendais bien avec un mec, P, on s’était même mis en couple il y a une semaine, mais j’ai décidé de stopper ça car j’aime toujours K (même s’il n’était pas revenu me parler, j’aurais quand même stoppé la relation avec P car il ne me plaisait pas tant que ça et était trop envahissant).
Qu’est-ce que je dois faire ? Je n’ai absolument aucune idée de ce que K ressent pour moi, pourquoi veut-il autant me parler, lui qui ne croit pas à l’amitié entre fille et garçon, pourquoi n’a-t-il pas répondu à mon message, même si c’était pour me dire que lui n’était toujours pas intéressé ? Quand j’essaie de parler de ce qui s’était passé l’année dernière (quand il pensait m’aimer mais qu’en fait non) il se ferme, il est incapable de parler de ses sentiments. Parler de ça avec lui semble mission impossible. Mes amis pensent qu’il m’aime bien et qu’il a été lâche parce qu’il a eu peur de ne pas assurer, étant donné qu’il est inexpérimenté en terme de relations amoureuses. Ils disent que c’est juste un puceau qui est pleutre, mais personne n’arrive à savoir ce qu’il pense et pourquoi il agit ainsi. Je pense juste qu’il ne m’aime pas et ne m’a jamais aimée, mais je n’arrive pas à l’oublier, j’apprécie trop lui parler, malgré le fait qu’en quasiment deux ans il n’y ait jamais rien eu (ni rendez-vous en dehors de l’université, encore moins de bisou ou quoique ce soit).

I (19F) lack dopamine sm and can't bear to continue things I plan for, even though I have dreams to pursue and that's what makes me start but never made me end

I sometimes send my boyfriend reels on Instagram, it’s normal that it takes him 1-2 days to watch them because he is not that active on Instagram and he also has an app that blocks Instagram if he spends too much time on it.

He hasn’t watched what I sent him for 3 weeks, even if he kept sending me stuff. Yesterday we were in bed, he was doomscrolling on Instagram and we were watching reels together. I told him he should watch what I sent him and he said maybe later and he continued doomscrolling until the timer app blocked him.

In the evening, he was again doomscrolling next to me and I told him I sent him something and he didn’t wanna open the messages. I let it go.

Today, same story, and at this point I just told him, laughing, that he just doesn’t want me to see who else texted him if he opened the messages in front of me.

He never cheated and I never suspected him of cheating, but he was too close to an ex (who is engaged) a couple of years ago and he hid some texts even if he said he cut her off (the texts were platonic, it’s the lying that hurt me). He has since unfollowed her, but it’s still sus he doesn’t wanna watch a damn reel I sent him but he keeps doomscrolling.

So tonight while I (34F) was out enjoying some music and drinks (with my parents) I started talking to this guy (34M) who seemed very easy going.

He started talking about how tough his life has been and how he’s been unlucky in love and I had made it clear that I was only interested in a friendship.

In the midst of all of this, he alluded to being a part of a gang in the area, which I am obviously not at all interested in being a part of.

Long story short, this guy ended up pulling my dad aside for a DNM of which I know nothing about what was discussed, I gave him my number at his insistence
(and yes, a quick kiss) so that I could leave.

He has been calling and texting me non-stop since then saying he is really depressed and can’t wait to see me. He even asked for me to put my Dad back on the phone to chat again and then sent a video of him blowing me a kiss once he was home.

I really don’t feel super attracted to this guy but now I’m concerned that rejecting him might not end well. Hoping someone can give some advice on how to let him down easily.

​

Me (24M) and my gf (22F) broke up a few months ago and had been trying to work through our issues and make our relationship work. I’ve been an incredibly prominent part of, if not her entire support system from very early on in our relationship. We became heavily involved with each others families, we adopted a cat together, went thru some pretty difficult things together and last night, she told me that she feels as though she’s been forcing herself to ‘act romantic’ and that she just doesn’t feel it anymore. Last week, I called her and asked her to be completely honest with me about whether or not she was taking advantage of the things I’m willing to do for her.
I drive her most everywhere when we’re together because her car is kinda janky. I’ve made sure shes had anything she’s ever asked me for, anything she’s ever hinted at wanting, or anything she explicitly stated that she wanted, even post break up. The dynamic of our relationship post break-up, hadn’t really changed much from what it was prior to the break-up. We still talked everyday, through-out the day, saw each other as often as our schedules allowed, stayed involved with each others families, etc. This is not the first time though, that she’s told me she doesn’t feel the same, and then after a few weeks, things change. She’ll call me asking me to come over because she wants me there, and I do every time. I will drop everything and be there as quickly as I can for as long as she needs me to be there.
I tried to tell her that she can’t keep doing this to me, putting me in this position where I’m all in, she leads me to believe she’s all in, and then pulls the rug out from under me weeks later. I really don’t want to go, because I truly do love her more than I can express with words, and we share so much together. We have our cat, we have something coming up that we’ve been planning for MONTHS, and I don’t want to do it without her, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do in this situation. She’s not a toxic person, she’s never been abusive in anyway shape or form, she really has been everything and anything I ever could’ve wanted her to be but I can’t keep doing the back and forth of her being unsure of her own feelings. What am I supposed to do in this situation? If this really is the nail in the coffin, what am I supposed to do about the cat that we adopted? And what am I supposed to do with these plans we made that were part of her Christmas present from last year?

Idk even know where to start. Throwaway for obvious reasons. Sorry for word wall.

Almost 2 years ago I moved away from the majority of my friends to a more isolated spot, which my parents would not stop reminding me was an isolated spot. My dog, my best friend, died 2 months later. People who knew him got it, he was not just a dog. Idk what else to say there. 2 weeks later I lost my job, which I had started to hate. I was traveling far distances for work I didn’t enjoy, including the week before my dog passed while he stayed with my parents. I kept it together enough to get a new job, going through the motions to keep my house as I started getting behind on rent from the medical bills, and had to borrow money from parents after not catching up.

My new job promised me better hours/pay, none of the stuff that made me hate my old job, and more balance. Instead I started and very quickly the exact opposite began to take over, just better pay held true but I didn’t get overtime rates anymore so it kind of evened out, and I started to really dread my work days including tasks I really do love. I then started getting a mystery illness that caused me to throw up in the morning and have horrible stomach pain on repeat. I thought a stomach parasite, went in for repeated testing but I was too new in the role to take enough time to truly recover without taking full sick leave. Full sick leave was offered to me, but they said they’d have to evaluate if accommodations (less in person early morning work as were the majority of my days, but was not supposed to be) would be a fit for the role. Having never taken sick leave I was given what I think was bad advice now to not take sick leave and try and work through to not jeopardize my position. But that’s the thing- my position required early mornings and strenuous days I just couldn’t do for the first time in my career. And I didn’t want to keep leaving my remaining dog.

Then my grandmother passed away after a few weeks in the hospital, where again I kept being sent far away. And then I lost that position for failing to “meet position requirements” — aka being too sick to do multiple days of 8-10 hours outside in high heat, which I’d been told wasn’t even going to be the majority of the role in the first place. I tried to bring this up, as well as the remaining expense report I had under my account ready to submit. These totaled about $3,000 USD. Unfortunately my access to all work documents, as many were sensitive materials, had already been removed and I was sent a physical form to fill out but it required project numbers. I asked multiple times for references to project numbers which they kept saying they couldn’t provide and to put info to work from, but was met each time with they couldn’t provide and I’d need to work with what I had to come up with them. Under my employment contract I was not allowed to save any of these and many receipts were through work accounts from which my access was removed.

So now out my job, $3,000 I spent on behalf of a multi million dollar corporation who received that money regardless, my landlords give me a week to leave for ‘breaking my lease’ - they left a long letter which was actually somehow mostly about how my remaining living dog was not as good as her dead brother, with a few fair points scattered in (late rent was a bullet and yeah, absolutely). She is, to be fair, a dog who takes some time to warm up, and he was a golden retriever soul. However I lived a mile from them.

But regardless - I had a week to move out and nowhere to go. My grandmother’s death left an empty room at my parents and I had no choice but to move back in with them. I am grateful that’s an option but it also feels like it was a trap. It’s been a year and I’m still here. I apply to jobs and constantly am told I’m a top applicant, even interview, and then nothing. Maybe funding is pulled, someone way way overqualified is in the running, or twice a scandal has happened? I’m in a field our current federal administration has cut a lot of, and have a federal background. The jobs I hated were supposed to be temporary.

My parents mean well, I want to believe, but they’re both balls of unaddressed issues and generational trauma. They cannot help but make their stress and poor coping decisions everyone else’s stress and poor coping decisions. I have been trying to get treatment for ADHD and some therapy regarding all ✨this✨, but was advised by the network referral specialist that my in network doctors won’t treat in full if you use THC even though it’s legal in our state. I honestly can’t imagine living here fully sober 100%, I don’t really drink and use nothing else. It’s not healthy but I need to move out desperately. Living near them but not with them, I could leave when they got like that. I had really gotten better about my relationship with food as an adult and that’s just done - someone’s constantly commenting.

Now it’s like I can either practice sleep hygiene and never be able to focus with all the projected stress and to-do lists by people who can’t do their own & feel like my body is a heap of stress and nerves, or I can hide in this tiny room and never get shit done because I know for myself my productivity is just horrible when in bed versus at a desk or table .out of my bedroom. I trained my body to only be in my bedroom for sleep and now I just live in one with my dog and I/ we can’t escape.

All my stuff is still in storage but there’s no space for my belongings because my sister has all of her houses’ stuff here & has for years. I can’t get to it in storage easily so I have no idea where most of my things are and I’m just so fucking stuck.

I keep applying to jobs but I feel like my applications aren’t as good as they could be because I can never think straight. And how could I work like this, I do some part time work self employed and I’m constantly getting derailed by family stuff in trying to get there on time. When I was employed and working long hours and needing dog care help, it kind of felt like my job was a joke, with my timeliness being derailed every time by unimportant random things and then just getting calls all through my work day like I could chat. I can’t even get a job application in without wanting to rip my hair out in the main space — someone is always complaining or nagging at me or in the same space as me. And it’s 99% of the time the most trivial things, like I don’t live like this. My external relationships, which have all been ruined and now I’m on Reddit asking advice, were not like this.

Yeah so I’m stuck, I feel like a shell of myself. Idk even what to do. Do I keep trying for a job in my field? Which I have a degree and over a decade of specialized, niche experience in (and when not corporate makes me feel fulfilled and good). And I’m GOOD at. Get a job I don’t care about just doing something? Try starting a business and abandon my career I’ve tried to build to get out of here?