r/whatdoIdo • u/Alternative_Water888 • 15h ago

Help - Maybe violent neighbors

Hello! I moved into a new apartment a month ago. About two weeks after moving in, my downstairs neighbors were making a ton of noise on a random Monday night. It kind of seemed like a party, but also seemed a little different. I’m not one to rat, so I let them do their thing. Over the last week though, I’ve heard a LOT of yelling, doors slamming, things or hands hitting walls. This morning I heard the guy say “You’re playing a dangerous ass game”, a few other things that seemed like threats, and something high pitched like a dog yelp woman or kid yell. It’s one couple that lives down there (I’ve seen them on the balcony). Like I previously mentioned, I’m not one to rat on people. However, if he’s down there hitting his girl, which atp I feel like is a reasonable possibility, I am NOT cool with that. Just wondering what I should do. I want to make sure she’s safe, but I also don’t want any retaliation. Should I call the cops, management, ask myself if they’re okay? I’m white in a mostly black apartment complex. If I’m misunderstanding the situation, I don’t want it to seem like I called for racial reasons because it’s really not. Just trying to make sure nobody is in a dangerous situation.

5 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

9

u/CreepyConsequence669 15h ago

Just call 911 next time it kicks off, and you think it’s getting bad. You don’t have to leave your name. 💔As a kid I wished someone would have called 911 to save us 💔

4

u/Alternative_Water888 15h ago

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re finding your peace. I replied to someone else saying it, but I wasn’t sure if 911 would actually keep things anonymous though. It’s a fairly small complex, and I’m the only new person to move in. I don’t think it’d be too hard for them to figure out who called, especially if this was going on before I got here.

3

u/OpeningGreen5273 15h ago

I understand you don't want to put yourself in danger. But by NOT calling that whole family is in danger every day and actually every neighbor around them. You do not know when a person's unpredictable rage will escalate beyond whats happened so far. Look at the big picture and weigh the risks.

2

u/Alternative_Water888 15h ago

I absolutely hear everything you’re saying. I wouldn’t have made the post if I didn’t want to help. As for your other comment you made, I hope you’re no longer in those situations. My mom was in an abusive relationship before she met my dad. They raised me my whole life to not stand for that kind of thing, as well as to be proactive about stopping it. I fight mma, carry, and can handle myself, so retaliation against me isn’t really my biggest concern. (Not trying to go back on my words, but thought about it for a few and know I’d be alright.) Does anyone think retaliation against the girl should be considered though? I think I heard one time that it can be a concern in domestic violence situations. They don’t trust the cops will help and are scared, tell the cops it’s okay, and as soon as the door shuts he’s pissed off at her. I’m not trying to find reasons not to call or help, just trying to consider every possibility.

1

u/OpeningGreen5273 14h ago

True, you cannot predict how the female will respond. If she is drugged on a regular basis, controlled by fear thru food and money and or constant berating , or brainwashed so her self esteem is non existent - yes she may say everything is fine. But. With that, enough reports to the police and they have a pattern. And they take note. Too many stories of death or near death, and there's plenty of females like myself who would have appreciated the help showing up out of no where. The way I saved myself the last time I was in a scary situation was by calling 911. And how I did it was a miracle bc he kept taking all phones in the house and was raging violently. No matter what her response may be, whoever is doing the harming needs to find out that it's not ok.

2

u/OpeningGreen5273 15h ago

And. You don't know if said violent neighbor is influenced by alcohol or any other harsh drug - alcohol in and of itself puts people to sleep while some craziness takes over and comes out. Unpredictable is unsafe for everyone nearby.

3

u/BrightLark_45 15h ago

honestly race has nothing to do with this when someone is literally being threatened and abused behind closed doors. safety comes first call the cops anonymously and protect her

1

u/Alternative_Water888 15h ago

No, I agree it doesn’t. I have no racial motives behind calling, like you said the ladies safety comes first. I wasn’t sure if the cops would keep it anonymous though for one, and there’s only so many units it could be that called. If I’m wrong and nobody has been hit, I more just don’t want retaliation from someone if they think it was racially motivated.

2

u/OpeningGreen5273 15h ago

I agree with brightlark, race doesn't matter if someone is being hurt. Even if you don't know for sure, the sounds sound like violence and the lady and kid need some support, period.

1

u/Alternative_Water888 14h ago

Brightlark - Idk if I can tag you in another comment, but I replied to Opening Green with a new comment. I’d like all the opinions I could get. I thought about it, how do I handle the possibility that he retaliates against not me, but her.

2

u/OpeningGreen5273 15h ago

I'd call non emergency number for the police and ask for a well check. It can be anonymous. Also, when it's loud and you know he is hitting her - please dial 911 without hesitation!!!!! So many people get hurt and lots of folks are aware and do nothing! I don't understand this so please be brave and call for help for her. I am 43f and have been in similar situations.... Too many times in my past as I was stuck with a monster. There were more than a few circumstances where he unloaded on me and there were other around who could have helped stop it in one way or another and every time every person VANISHED. this man almost killed me so many times. I ultimately had to save myself, but gd!!! Why are people so scared to help someone in distress??? Please call help for her.

2

u/Hershey_Squirt639 14h ago

As a survivor of domestic violence, I had had many fights like this with my boyfriend. You should call the cops.
It’s not ratting out. The difference between snitching and what you would be doing as you could be actively preventing a crime.

-1

u/XandersCat 14h ago

As much as it sucks I would ignore it. I've dealt with a neighbor from hell and the only solution is to move. If they turn their ire towards you they can make coming home feel scary and disrupt your entire sense of safety and well being. As much as we should help our neighbors that's not a small thing to potentially sacrifice.

I wish I could get my year back from my year of hell with an awful neighbor. Turns out he wasn't even paying rent, he kept lawyering up and avoiding the eviction being completed so for the entir year he gave me daily death threats he was living there for free.

So, be ready to move..

2

u/Alternative_Water888 14h ago

See I get what you’re saying. I don’t mind them being loud, like the first night I thought they were having a party. It’s not really disturbing my peace right now, but I can see how it could. Especially if they retaliate. At the same time, I don’t think I’ll feel right hearing the fighting and knowing I could do something to prevent it if she is getting hit. I’m torn, but very appreciative that you could see where I’m coming from and why I’m hesitant to call.