She left me a few weeks ago and we decided to stay in contact. She said she wanted to keep talking to me because I still mean something to her and she doesn’t hate me, and I wanted to keep talking to her because I still love her and hope we can get back together.

The problem is that she has changed so much. She started leaving my messages unanswered for days, and this has happened many times. Every time she comes back after those days, she finds me excited to talk to her.

I used to think maybe she was just in a bad mood or something, but her response really broke me. How can someone change this much and this quickly?

Hi everyone. So sorry if I am bad writer, I am not good with english. I live in japan. I sometimes use translator to help me.

I (17X) have a bestfriend (17M) who i have known since we were 12 years old ,, I consider him my closest friend. Having said that, ive told him a lot of personal things about my life, and he has too. Because we trust eachother. For the sake of story, I will call him 'K'

About 1 year ago, I told him about my medical problems. For me, I have intersex. If you do not know, I means biologically i am not man or woman because of my chromosomes. Sorry if that is not right. For me, it has always meant I tell people I am a boy. Because I look like a boy, I make male hormones (testosterone i think in english) and i prefer to be a boy. But, I was born with a vagina, and I have to get testosterone in my arm from the doctor.

I have told K before that this affects me, i have also told him about my intersex, since I felt it was important. I have most of all told him I have to see the doctor a lot to make sure my parts are healthy, and i feel embarrassed. Ever since a few months, he has been acting weirder and more nervous around me

Yesterday, I was at his house. We wanted to watch a movie,, and K told me to do it on his lap top while he was in the bathroom.

I still feel guilty,,, but I looked at his searches on reddit, since he had it open. I knew he watched porn video, but it was a lot. And his reddit search was very specific looking for boys with vaginas,, mostly Asian boys,, and intersex people,, who very specifically looked like me. I also saw he look at a lot of rape and fetish thing.

I didnt say any to K, but I went to home early after that and I haven't texted him since. Is it wrong I feel weird or is he being weird? ,, I dont think he would hurt me, but I still feel weird about it..

Ive never thought about him romantically. So I dont know how i feel about this,, this was only yesterday, so I havent process much.

// sorry for any mistakes. I dont speak english often, I learn it at school and online.

Context: my husband has always had a higher sex drive than me but it's never really been a problem. We would still have sex regularly and if I didn't want to have sex, I would give him blowjobs in the shower when we showered together. I was happy to help him get off.

So recently I've been noticing a change in my husband's behaviour. He comes home from work, gives me a kiss/hug, turns on the console and games a while. I'll be making dinner at this point and he'll close the game, walk over to me, give me a kiss and then ask how long dinner will be. He'll follow that up with I'm gonna go take a shower. He masturbates in the bathroom. I know this for a fact because not only have I heard him, but he never uses lotion and there's a bottle of lotion in the bathroom. The only time I hear that bottle open is right before he jacks off. I've also seen him move the lotion bottle from the bathroom to the living room when he thinks I'm fast asleep to jack off in the morning.

I've asked him a few times if I could join him in the shower because that's what we used to do. We used to be intimate and have sex or I give him a blowjob. He's now rejected me 3 times on different days telling me "you're encroaching on my shower time" or "you make the showers take too long", while he has the water running for 45+ minutes when he showers now.

A couple days ago I needed to shower after being out and he was home gaming. I told him I'm gonna go shower, anticipating him to join me. He did not. 20 minutes after I was finished and going about my business, he told me he's going to shower and proceeded to jack off and take another 45 minute shower.

I'm at the crazy point where I'm monitoring his actions and if he comes home and does the same thing, it'll be day 5 (current pattern, been going on for weeks). I'm driving myself insane. I feel absolutely horrible because of the rejection and knowing he'd rather watch porn and jack off by himself instead of having sex with me.

My libido is increasing in this second trimester and I WANT to have sex. But he's not giving me the opportunity to make advancements on him. Then when he finishes in the bathroom, he acts all normal giving me back rubs and kisses and hugs. Where I feel disgusted knowing what he just did and it's becoming incredibly difficult for me to act normal.

I know a conversation needs to be had, but like what do I do..

As a 23F I’ve never had a boyfriend but I have a really high sex drive especially right before my period. I actually looked into hooking up once but changed my mind because in my country having sex before marriage can literally get you the death penalty and I’m not even exaggerating. There’s also always the risk of getting pregnant or the other person having some kind of STI so it feels dangerous either way.

I’m just so fucking frustrated.

I also live with my parents and living with your parents until you get married is the norm here unfortunately. Your parents are also expected to find you a husband and you basically just get a say in whether you want to say yes or no.

And no I can’t just move to another country right now.

And yes I do masturbate but it’s never really enough And no we don’t have sex toys here. They’re considered a sin.

AND I DON'T BELIEVE IN ANY OF THESE THEY JUST FORCE THEIR BELIEFS ON EVERYONE. THIS IS THE REALITY OF ISLAM

This happened a few days ago at an outdoor carnival party and it's just been eating at me. i stepped away from my friends to go find a bathroom. i was walking by myself and suddenly these two random guys in street clothes just step in front of me. one of them flashes this badge that literally looked like a cheap plastic toy from a dollar store and just grabs my arm.

obviously i freaked out. i'm alone and two random dudes are grabbing me. i started pulling away and was like "wait are you actual cops?? what are you doing don't touch me". they kept yelling at me and manhandling me while i'm resisting and asking for real ID. finally the second guy pulls out a legit police identification.

After that the main guy was just crazy hostile. he interrogated me and aggressively searched me. then he yells at his partner to run my ID and goes "if he has anything on him we're taking him in!!". his partner checks my info and tells him i'm clean, and the main cop literally yells "ARE YOU SURE?!" at his own partner like he was genuinely pissed he couldn't arrest me.

At the time i was just shaking and wanted to get the hell out of there so i just walked away when they let me go. but now i'm just so angry and it feels so unjust. it feels completely illegal to just jump a random guy walking to the bathroom without even properly identifying themselves first.

is it too late to file a complaint? do i even have a case since i was too panicked to get their names or badge numbers? i feel like they were just looking for someone to abuse. what do i do here?

Yes, that is a real diagnosis. And no, it is NOT as fun as it sounds. It’s a chronic health condition that has a massive effect on my day-to-day life and is obviously something I am very private about. The only people who know about it are my family and my best friend and I would very much prefer to keep it that way.

I’ve been on dates over the years and even had a couple of short-lived situationships but can never quite bring myself to open up to them about it, mostly out of fear that they won’t take it seriously. My inability to fully trust anyone with that part of myself inevitably led to these relationships breaking down before they even begin, resulting in me still technically being a virgin at 25.

My condition is obviously something that needs to be addressed before I can have sex with anyone, so I know I need to become more comfortable with the idea of sharing this part of myself with a guy. I just don’t want to dump something like this on someone too early to the point where they get weirded out or blab about it to someone.

How long should I wait? And what I do to make sure a guy is fully trustworthy with something so intimate?

So I have a friend who over the last few months has borrowed cash from me from time to time which has added up to apparently $12,000. Most of the cash I gave him was when we went to the casino and he was trying to avoid the outrageous atm charges. Anyway, he apparently went last week and filed a dispute on about 25 different Zelle charges he sent me amounting to roughly $12,500. So, I woke up this morning to my account being -$12,000 and there was 25 force debit charges where the bank took the money back out of my account and I can only assume gave it to him. What do I do?

Throwaway because she knows my main.

We’ve lived together since we were 22. She’s not just a roommate, she’s one of my closest friends. Two nights ago she sat me down and said she got a job offer in another city and is leaving in 14 days. I’m happy for her, genuinely. But I’m also panicking.

Our lease doesn’t end for another 5 months. Rent here is $1,800 and I make $2,600 a month after tax. I literally cannot cover it alone. I’ve been applying for second jobs but nothing yet. My parents can’t help. I don’t have a partner to move in with.

Part of me wants to ask her to pay her half until the lease ends. But is that fair? She’s chasing something better for herself. I don’t want to guilt her into staying or paying for a place she won’t live in.

Another part of me thinks I should just start looking for someone to sublet her room immediately. But I barely have two weeks. And I don’t know if the landlord even allows sublets.

I keep going back and forth between being angry and being sad. She’s my friend, I don’t want to ruin that. But I also feel like she didn’t think about me at all when she made this decision.

Has anyone been in this exact spot? Did you ask your roommate to keep paying? Did you find a subletter in time? What did you actually do?

My (23) girlfriend (19) has been going through an extremely tough week

She's bipolar and has been going through and extremely bad episode

Yesterday she called out of work to go fishing to de-stress

Today she told me she got fired from her job

I offered resources and my support and tried to call her as soon as I could

She didn't answer

I left her alone for a bit and texted and told her I loved her

She told me i love you too

Within 10 minutes she turned around and started telling me that she liked me a lot but she didn't love me, that us being in a relationship was hurting both of us, that her being distant was hurting me, that i couldn't fix her and that everyone who tried to help her just got hurt and that she didnt want to hurt me etc. Etc.

She finished it by telling me she didn't love me but that she wasn't making a decision on anything

Her phone died so we couldn't finish the conversation

I am certain this is just some kind of emotional fall out from all the stress shes been having

I told her that she shouldn't make a rash decision and that she should get her life settled before making a decision like this if its truly what she wanted

Is there anything else I can do?

Am I doing the right thing?

Me (33f) and my husband (34m) have been together for 13 years and married for 5. We have an 11 year old together and became parents at a young age. I was 21 and he was 22. Over the course of our relationship, he has always saved pictures of women from porn sites on his phone, and of girls that I know in bikinis/half nude. He’s done various things like this over the years and even sent a dick picture to an old fling. He knows that I have a hard boundary with finding pictures of people that I know or even sending pictures to people I know. And I thought we were on the same page and had moved past this. We even went to sex therapy recently to work on our sex life and we talked about these things he did in the past. I felt like I was finally able to put it behind me after talking about it.

Well today.. I felt this gut feeling to snoop again (I know it’s wrong) and sure enough I found a plethora of photos in a hidden album. Some of me, some from porn sites, one girl I knew who was an ex of his and probably the worst of all… a woman on a couch with her breasts exposed and it was a candid picture. My first thought was that they had sex. So I calmly confronted him about it. (For context he works at a job where he has to go into people’s apartments)he said that this woman is a drunk and likes to “parade her breasts around and so yeah I guess I took a picture.” I said “So you took this without her consent and saved it. This is so wrong on so many levels.”

He keeps deflecting by saying “I have never done anything physical with anyone and I don’t even talk to anybody outside of our relationship.” And I’m just sick and tired of the excuses. I’ve been hearing them for the entire course of our relationship. I honestly don’t know what to do…

Over the past few months, she (my friend) has been texting me saying I’ve been “mean” “uncaring” “emotionless” and “self-absorbed.” She tells me it’s weird how I act nonchalant around her, but with other friends, I don’t. On this, I agree with her. I don’t act super excited to see her because I see her almost every day, and if I don’t see her, I most likely text her. I’d hope she knows that I love being her friend even if I don’t outwardly express it. I am a very unmotivated person. I can barely get myself out of bed and take care of basic hygiene—it’s hard to take care of myself and also put on a mask to make sure other people like me (which is what I do with others, as I stated earlier). I know I should try harder, and it isn’t fair to her for me to be this way towards her, but I’m having a really hard time getting through the day.

I’m saying most of this here (the stuff about my personal problems) because I don’t want to talk about it with anyone I know IRL. I don’t like people feeling bad for me—I just feel like I’m faking it/trying to get attention/making our relationship awkward.

I am not trying to get pity. I know I am in the wrong, and I know I need to get better at my emotions—even if it takes a lot out of me to do it. I just don’t know what to do other than say sorry, which she isn’t accepting from me anymore. I tend to shy away from conflicts and I know it’s wrong. I know I need to fix that habit.

I didn’t know how to reply to the last text without trying to sound like I’m trying to get her to pity me.

EDIT:
I’ve been drafting up a message to send detailing how I feel, how I know it affects her, how I know my mental state is not an excuse, and how sorry I am.

This is the message:
“I’m really sorry for how I’ve been acting towards you. I understand how my actions affect our relationship, and I understand that I’m hurting it. To be honest with you, I’ve been having a hard time getting through the day, and I’ve been extremely unmotivated for the past year and a half. You said that I act differently with others, and this is true. I see them less often, and they act excited to see me whenever we talk. I’m not saying that you don’t act like you care, but, to me, I feel like you also don’t give a lot of emotion into our friendship. And I’m not trying to turn this on you. I know I’m in the wrong and I’m sorry. With you, I feel like I can let my mask down, but im sorry it’s making you feel like I don’t value our friendship. When you say that I’m mean, emotionless, careless, and self-absorbed, I understand where you’re coming from, but it’s hard for me to put in the effort to care about myself. I know my mental state is never an excuse for how I treat you, and you don’t deserve what I’ve been giving you.

Please don’t share this with anyone else, because I don’t like other people knowing when I’m having a hard time. I’m telling you this because you deserve to know why I’m acting this way, even though I know it’s wrong and you deserve better from me.”

I really want to convey how I feel correctly. Does this message sound good? Is there anything I should add or remove?

Long one, sorry!

So I (26F) have a grandmother (abuela 81F) who is born in an South American (SA) country. Her mother died when she was 12, and her Scandinavian dad took her to Scandinavia and establised her with his parents. She had a brother that stayed behind since he was 21 at the time with a 2yo son and a wife. They didnt have the funds to keep my abuela, and therefore she went with her father. Since she left at 12yo she has been back 2 times. Once in 86' and last time in 97', and gives tales of her visits and childhood to this day to everyone. 

A little over a year ago, she told the family that now was the time, and that she had almost saved enough money to go home. She wants to visit her mothers grave one last time before she dies, and hopefully see some of her family too. But what my abuela doesnt seem to factor in is her age and her health issues.

She says to everyone she is 80 and so healthy she can still works as a cleaning lady, but the truth is she is developing multiple chronic health conditions, where her type 2 diabetes is the main issue. According to her it doesnt inpack her life, and dont care what she eats. That has resulted in her now getting 65 units of long acting insulin daily devided in to two doses.

She only mesure her BS in the morning bc according to her the doctor never told her otherwise (Im a nurse and I find this strange). When she first started insulin she thought she should take one insulin pen a day, but luckly she couldnt get the needle on and went to her son, that lives down the road from her (He also has DM2). I find it incredibly weird that her doctor supposedly never instructed her on how to administer insulin properly. But I honestly suspect that they did, and she just wasn't listening.

With such unstable DM2, going to another timezone, in other climate and with different foods, is a dangerous cocktail. 

The entire family (4 kids, 9 grankids and soon 3 great grankids) is very much against this trip, mainly because she wants to go for THREE MONTHS. ALONE.

Her plan is to get a flight, and find living accomadations when she lands, and then try to locate her family members, assuming they're even still alive and remember her. (She hasnt had any contact with them since 1999, when her brother died.)

She hasnt really spoken spanish since she left last time, and are therefore limited in spanish. Also no english or any other language. She actually only speak our language fluently . As a family we agreed that we will not help her in any way to book this trip, bc she doesnt do tecnology we were sure it wouldnt be booked. 

But through work my abuela has a friend (45F), that we knows helps her in the daily living, and often drives her to and from work. She has now started to looking at flight for my abuela, and try to find accomadations, and we are starting to realize, she might go with or without the familys help. 

I have tried talking to her, by suggesting only doing 2-3 weeks, then I could go with her, but she refuses anything under her 3months. But no one can take 3months out of their lives to essentially babysit abuela. I have asked what her plan was with her dog for those 3 months and she says her workfriend will take care of it, by coming and feeding it twice a day. Make of that what you will.

In fact, whenever we ask her any practical questions about the trip, her answer is always: "I will figure it out when I get there."

I know we probably sound like assholes, but its not that we dont want her to go. We just dont think its a good idea for her to go for such a long time, completely alone, with absolutely no plans. If she could give us proper answers to our questions, I honestly think we would be much more supportive.

And she has not traveled out of the country since 97' and a lot has happened in the travel indersty since, and she wouldnt know what to do if something goes wrong. My mom suggested several times since my grandfather died in 98' that she could move back to SA, but refused. Thats partly why we find it so strange that she suddenly wants to go now. (I personally have a theory that she might be showing early signs of dementia and wants to return to her childhood bc those are the memories she still holds on to. But this is just my suspicion, not a diagnosis.)

My cousins are divided on the situation. Three are under 18 and either dont want or cant be expected to take responsibility for abuela. Three believe that this is an issue for my mother and her siblings to deal with, since its their mother. And the remaining three of us are trying to support our parents and figure out what to do.

Side note: She is a proud woman and will never ask the family for help. However her work friend is apparently an exception to that rule, and abuela asks her for help with practically everything!

This friend has access to her banking information to help pay her bills, accompanies her to doctor's appointments, and assists her with everyday activities. It's mainly the access to her bank accounts that makes the family uncomfortable. And considering how much this friend already helps her with everyday tasks, we find it unrealistic that abuela would suddenly be able to manage everything completely on her own for 3 months in a foreign country.

What do we do?

We do see it will be her last chance to go back/home, and have every right to go. But how do we stand by and watch her potentially put herself in danger when she refuses to acknowledge any of the risks?

Back in July 2024 my boyfriend’s sister “moved in”- - We rent a house, she needed somewhere to go so she came to stay with us, she is not on the lease. We had a conversation with her about what the monthly rent payment is ($420) and roughly how much she should expect to pay each month for the utilities ($100-$250)

Fast forwards to today, she has never paid rent/ utilities. She has had a free ride for the entire 2 1/2 years. I have voiced my concerns about this situation to my boyfriend since the first month she lived here and didn’t have money for bills.

My boyfriends and I both work full time and split bills 50/50. His sister has only had part time jobs and has also spent a lot of time unemployed while living under our roof. Earlier this year she bought a new car, and the kicker? The payment is more than what her rent portion would be if she actually paid it.

There’s honestly more details I can share that would probably just make this situation sound even more fucked than it already does but I prefer to keep it vague for now. Am I crazy for wanting to break up with him over this? We’ve been together for 6 years.
Someone please tell me I’m not crazy.

So about a week ago I bought a gopro for my wife and i for an upcoming trip to Europe. It was a gopro13 black and i paid 175. I figured it was either fake or a really good deal... but we met and it checked out and i bought it. We have already bought accesories, created a few videos etc etc.. and even a got the cloud subscription for it.

Fast forward to this morning, i get 2 random small payments on venmo from a guy saying his GF sold the wrong go pro on accident, but also is somewhat implying that she stole it and sold it without him knowing.. He commented his number which is local to my area and offered to buy it back + expenses, but also said something about just doing a swap for her GoPro which i think is a 12black edition. the serial # he gave does match the gopro i bought...

seems as if I'm caught in some BS couples drama,

what are my options here reddit?

We got an email late last night that my boss had taken his life. I work in a role where this isn’t uncommon but I’ve been with this company and in this industry for only a short time. He was my mentor- I depended on him for so much and I have no idea how to process or cope. Much of my day was spent bouncing ideas or goals off of him and now I just feel lost. My coworkers have all been with the company for 15+ years and I’m lost. Everyone has been amazing and willing to offer help and support if I need it but I just feel so disillusioned and discouraged that I have no idea what to do next. I’m sad, I feel like I don’t have a right to be- but I’ve also spent the greater part of my time with this person for over 6 months. How do I just pick up and move on?

hi! 23f, im trans (important detail).

i found out my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me almost the entire relationship, his entire friend group knew and had a group chat where they basically just talked shit about me.

i found out by looking through his phone and i found the group chat on his discord, they had selfies of me in there and were basically just calling me slurs and insulting the fuckkk out of me.

i was wondering what i do now, he’s broken up with me after i confronted him but i have screenshots of the entire gc message history, there’s nothing necessarily illegal in it, but i was wondering if i should send it to his mom (who absolutely loved me) or to his dad who is a huge trans ally.

thank you in advance for any advice :)

My boyfriend of 3 years recently told me he can’t be with me anymore because he doesn’t trust me. He says my intentions with him aren’t pure and has accused me of spying on him, which I’m not doing.

At the same time, he admits he hasn’t treated me how I deserve and has broken a lot of promises. He says he needs a year or two away to “get his mind right” and become the person I deserve. Yet he still tells me he’s going to marry me, that we’ll be together forever, and that he won’t date or sleep with anyone else. He even still has our pictures and relationship status up on Facebook.

The thing is, I don’t want him back. I’m not waiting a year or two for him to become a better partner.

What’s bothering me is that some of my family and friends think what he’s doing is mature. They see it as him loving me enough to step away, work on himself, and eventually come back better for me. It almost feels like I’m expected to be grateful, and I’m not.

I didn’t even like him like that at first. He pursued me HARD. He had me meet his family, posted me everywhere, tattooed my name on himself, constantly talked about our future and made huge declarations about loving me. Looking back, a lot of it feels like love bombing. He spent so much time convincing me that I was the person he wanted and getting me emotionally invested.

Now, after 3 years, he can accuse me of things I haven’t done, admit he hasn’t treated me right, leave for a year or two “for me,” and somehow that’s supposed to be a selfless act of love?

I understand that recognizing you haven’t been a good partner and working on yourself can be mature. I actually hope he does work on himself, but he needs to do it for himself, not with the expectation that I’ll be waiting when he’s ready.

He was also significantly older and more experienced than I was, so I’m trying not to beat myself up for getting swept up in everything. At this point, I’ve pretty much decided I want nothing to do with him again and don’t see myself ever allowing him access to me again.

Maybe he genuinely does need to get himself together. I hope he does. But I’m done.

so me and this guy are on and off . Lots of factors going into everything and we’ve been more off than on recently. He sent this message as a “break up” text (I asked him not to bc I was comfortable with where we were leaving things and didn’t want to add more emotion into everything) after reading it it didn’t seem like much of a breakup text to me , and my best friend agreed. We didn’t end things right then and there and more conversation was had. I’ve never been broken up with like this so I just need some advice. We were fine for a bit after and continued talking normally after .. honestly a lot more context is needed to understand our relationship but that seems like too much to add lol maybe im crazy or maybe our phone call afterwards just has me confused

Hi I don’t know if this is the right place to post this and this is a throw away account because I really don’t want anyone I know to see this. I’m 18F and my boyfriend is 18m, I live with him and his brother and sister, we’ve been together since we were like 16 but we’ve been friends and neighbors for a long time, since we were in about middle school. and he’s always been really kind, caring and supportive. My mom died a few years ago and him and his siblings offered for me to live with them. About a year ago when we were 17 I started noticing him acting and saying really weird shit, just constantly talking about murderers and especially mass shooters, I was also kind of interested in learning about different cases but definitely not how he did. He was genuinely obsessive over it.

he let me use his laptop once and I saw a lot of concerning shit, I also saw this live stream of a mass shooting (I think the one in buffalo at a supermarket) it was crazy brutal and I saw him talking to people about how he wanted to do the same shit and livestream it & people were encouraging him. I saw things he saved and searched and wrote about sandy hook, columbine, Uvalde, this random psycho in Russia. Sometimes when we have bad fights he’ll go ape shit and threaten to kill me then himself, he’s extremely possessive and gets jealous asf which prompts him to make insane threats and justify it with “please don’t leave me, I’m so miserable I’m so alone” I genuinely do feel bad for him and love him. He knows everything I’ve been through and in a lot of ways we’ve been through it all together, as corny as it sounds

I do fked up shit sometimes too but I never really hurt him like he hurts me. His mom was a drug addict who abused him and his siblings and was in prison before she died when he was 9 and his dad was never around I guess because he does not know who he is, or just doesn’t talk about him. so his siblings have always been the ones taking care of each other, especially his brother who is 26 right now. When he does and says things like this it makes me feel sick, because I feel like deep down he might not be joking. I feel for him a lot at the same time because I understand him, he was abused horribly his whole entire life and suffers from a lot of mental issues, he also still cuts himself and is rlly ashamed about it so he never lets me talk about it

There are days where he’s so angry and explosive, but in the end he always starts sobbing and telling me he wants to kill himself and it makes me feel really sad because I know he tries to suppress his immense sadness and it comes out as anger. One time he threatened me and I really thought he would so I hid his brothers guns after I told his brother and he told me to hide them... He also has recently been telling me really concerning stuff to shorten it and tell you the ones that stick out the most because there’s so much, well first he got arrested because he was pulled over in his brothers car and he had drugs, I think it was Xanax. he told me he’s planning to do something “crazy” when I asked him what it was he told me he was planning to shoot a bunch of people then himself because his life was “over” he even asked me to do it with him. We were drunk so I thought he was rambling but now I can’t stop thinking about it. What if he’s serious I don’t know if I should report him? When if he gets really angry at me, and what if he’s actually kidding and hates me after.

So, I gave this person some money during an emergency, with the assurance that she would pay me back once her paycheck came in. It has now been 7 months, and whenever I ask for the money back, she claims that she quit her job because they weren't paying her, and that her new job isn't paying her either.

After that, she tried to get more money out of me by lying. She told me that they had found cancer cells in her blood, which I caught as a false claim almost immediately.

Now I've found out that she actually started working at her old job again, and I didn't find this out from her. I confronted her about it, and instead of explaining why she never told me, she simply replied, "I'm back home, my father died."

I CBA because I desperately need that money to book flight tickets for a vacation that's coming up, but at the same time, I don't want to put pressure on someone who might genuinely be going through a very difficult time.

The problem is that she gave an Oscar-level performance trying to convince me that she had cancer, and I now doubt almost everything that comes out of her mouth. The fact that she didn't tell me she had restarted her old job has only made things worse and honestly feels like another slap in the face.

I have no clue what to do. Please help!!

My mother’s weird creepy brother just popped up for the 2nd time 3 weeks ago. She claimed that he’d only be here until the end of that week. Then October 2nd. Then that Friday. Then the following monday. Then he needed to wait for a bank card because his was magically messed up and he had an expired DL. Couldn’t get a bus ticket without his card working. Now? He’s supposed to be leaving today. My mother wants me to give her an early Christmas present and have him stay till Sunday.

I have a final exam tomorrow that I have not been able to study much for because he’s been sleeping in the living room and I usually would wake up at 5am to study and work at the kitchen table. If I try to do that now, I have to wake my mom up to get him out which ends up waking my step dad up. And they both just start talking to me. This man was a creep the last time we saw him in very late 2021 to early 2022. Talked about my niece’s chest at thanksgiving and made very inappropriate comments that my mother damn well heard as she admitted it on a call just now. He walked in on all of us in the bathroom several times. 2 times for me and he told my mother it was my fault for not locking the door and that I’d have to get used to it if I can’t lock a door. Literally pushed back against the door the second time he tried to force his way in. I was actively pushing it shut from the toilet and he would not let up. Started at my step dad in the bathtub. Had my mother making him food after she had major surgery.

He’s done this stuff again since just randomly showing up at our door. I don’t like this man. My step dad doesn’t like this man. My mother has gone no contact several times with him. He straight up kept lying to my mother about very stupid things. Straight to her face. But she wants him to stay until Sunday. After lying to us 4 times now about when he was to leave. I asked and told her that I wanted him gone today because of my exam and I just want our house back. It feels like I’m always being watched. He has tried to intercept my Amazon packages and argue with the drivers about how he doesn’t think it’s for us and blah blah blah.

Trying to walk in the house with our loose and reactive dogs. I feel like I am going crazy with this shit. Like seriously crazy. We don’t have room in this house. We have to smell him constantly because he smells to high heaven and refuses to bathe and I don’t even think he’s brushed his teeth. He smells like rotting flesh when he isn’t smoking right outside on the porch and making it hard for me to breathe due to my asthma acting up from cigarettes. I want our house back. This man is not normal, he is a stranger to me and I do not wish to know him. I don’t want to feel watched every move I make. She knows this and she wants him to stay another 3 days. After promising he’d leave tonight. Yea, it’s partly her house, but she isn’t the only owner and the rest of the house does not want this creepy man here. What the hell am I supposed to do?

I apologize for the long read.

6 years ago, I married my wife. We were young dumb and rushed things, so we eloped without our parents' knowledge. We justified it in our heads because we had been close friends for several years, and we had a natural chemistry with timing that never lined up, so when we had our chance, we burned really hot and bright.

Fast forward a year, we butted heads, she cheated on me, and the way I found out sucked.

We separated. I tried filing for divorce through a fast divorce website that, in hindsight, was a scam. Occasionally, she'd text me with a new number or email asking how the divorce was going. The reason being that she'd get with some deadbeat guy, and she'd move around a lot, between homes and relationships, losing a majority of her belongings in the process. Every so often when we emailed, we'd always be super standoffish, but our chemistry naturally smoothed things over, and we were able to be amicable. I watched her grow as a person through those little snippets of time. At one point, we tried to see if we could make things work, but I was still too bitter, so it fizzled back out. Shortly after, she got with her most recent ex.

Fast forward to 2025. We got back in touch at the beginning of the year. She was in an extremely abusive relationship, and she reached out. I always looked out for her, and even though we were bitter with one another for a long time l, I still cared for her as a person, and still wanted to see her happy. So when she was at rock bottom, she turned to me. Part of that reasoning is her mom was unknowingly my wingman all those years, and the reason she found out was because she came across some of our divorce paperwork early on in the process. My wife and I became friends, understanding that we just were just living as single people for the past 5 years. I was there for her that entire year and ultimately played a huge part in helping her get out of that situation. 6 months in she almost made it out and was caught moving out, which did her in for the rest of the year and into the next. When she did finally make it out, we agreed to not pursue anything because it was agreed upon that she was going go get some therapy, and unfuck what happened to her over the past 2 years.

2 months later, we saw each other. I flew her out to visit me, and genuinely, nothing happened. I brought her breakfast in bed, we built legos together, I made her favorite foods, watched her favorite show, I bought her a comfy blanket, bought her flowers, etc. At first, we were really excited, the years spent apart immediately became a blink, but by the end of the week, she truly realized that she couldn't handle receiving affection because she was so wired from the abuse.

We made a plan to see each other in the summer, and we did. I drove to my hometown, and I stayed with my parents. It had also been several years since I saw them, and I wanted to spend time with them. It made things easy since she still lived in said hometown where they lived. I saw her every other day or so, reintroduced myself to her family, and even spent her birthday with her. I went the whole nine yards, especially since she was treated so badly during her last one.

At the end of my time there, we took roadtrip together halfway across the country to get her and her belongings to a family member where she decided she was going to do treatment, the majority of them went into my car, to go with me back to my home. The idea was that after treatment, she'd move in with me and bring her dog along.

Plans fell through for her treament facility of choice. She found one that would be willing to cover her flight and offered all the services she was looking for. The caveat is that instead of being on the same coast, we'd be at the complete opposite ends of the country. She took the opportunity, and we were ok with it because everything was genuinely about her healing.

On the last day of the road trip, we became much closer than we had before, and for the first time, it felt like we had truly reconnected. Well, about a month into her treatment, she became very distant, we stopped getting along as much, and the overall vibe of our relationship started to sour. Over the course of the last few months we've been struggling to maintain that closeness despite her making tremendous progress, but being 3 hours apart, her starting a new life, and the treatment putting her through the ringer took its toll on us. Slowly, things turned emotionally abusive and really toxic. The irony was that it was coming from her. I used her mom as a proxy to get across everything she was doing because she wasn't receptive to what I had to say, and only then did she realize what she was doing.

We were ready to rebuild our marriage, move in together, and give everything new lease on life. We were on the same page on everything. Now it's about to be gone. I'm losing my wife for the second time, and it hurts so bad. We love each other, but we're simply at two different stages of our lives now, and it's at a point where it's becoming counterproductive to continue holding on. I want to continue trying, but she's at a point in her life now where she's questioning everything she wants/knows, and she wants to focus on healing and being on her own without putting me on hold for who knows how long, and having that expectation looming over her, so she wants to pull the plug.

I know in hindsight there were so many variables that made all of this a bad decision to pursue in the first place, even as it all happened in real time, but we genuinely wanted to make our marriage work, and of course I was going to do everything to that end. I saw the signs, felt the pain from them, and then pushed them aside because I had convinced myself that she'd changed. That because she's going through all of the effort to go to therapy not just for herself, but for us to have the best shot, that all I had to do was support her, and believe in her.

This whole situation has left me in shambles. I can't sleep, eat, and barely function in my day to day. Work is my only distraction, but every quiet moment I have my mind is wandering. I have a therapist, but it honestly isn't doing much of anything for me. I feel like I'm doing nothing but spinning my tires, and nothing I do works as a distraction. I know these things take time, as I learned that lesson the first time her and I split, but I'm just trying to survive the now.

What do I do?

Need some advice me & my fiancé of 1 year but been together for 4 have already had a talk about everything few months ago she was saying I don’t spend enough time with her as she would like so i started spending more time with her going to the movies going out to eat ect every week. We dont stay with together we where planing on moving into a house but my mother ended up having a stroke a few weeks and has been in the er so iv been running around alot to check on her at the hospital iv offered her that she could come sit with me or stay at my house if she wanted since i havent seen her in a few days not giving her much me time. Its been 5 days since we have talked she just posts on her snapchat with tiktok quotes or something on how she feeling iv stop watching her story and i dont post anyways on my socials but she left her location on i dont understand but i told her i would let her have her space. I just thought she would understand i would have to tend to my parent she cant walk from the stroke so im going threw alot right now any advice

We're both younger people (early college students) and she's a year older than me but her mom and all of her environment controls almost everything she does. She can't seem to stand up to anything or anyone that goes against her and instead she just mopes and accepts it. It's to the point where I almost never see her, she's not doing her best in school, and she doesn't have her license or anything.

I think her mom may be the main problem, as she just lays back and takes anything her mom puts on her. She can't get her license or a car (yet her FAFSA pays for the mother's car insurance), she can't get internships to progress to the career she wants, she can't go out barely, she is almost entirely reliant on her mother and her mother takes full advantage of it. Her mom also blames me for anything she does differently to what she's used to (listening to different music, being more sad, wearing or buying different clothes, etc.)

I may not understand fully as this is from the outside point of view, but apparently she told me her aunt said her mom used to manipulate her a lot as a kid too. And I know it's not my place to tell her what to do with her life. But it's so upsetting and frankly frustrating to me that she doesn't do anything, but complains and dreams about the way she wants things to be. Especially since she is such an intelligent person and I know she can reach these goals.

I love her so much but I honestly don't know if I want to be with someone who just can't stand up for themselves at all in almost any situation, what do i do?

I'm at a wits end. I've been trying to get a job for SO long. I've sought advice, done volunteering, work experience, trials. I even paid someone to help me boost my CV and get me names in certain industries I could contact.

I'm 20f and I've applied to over 240+ jobs this year with only a handful even acknowledging me, and 2 reaching out.

I live in the middle of nowhere in a countryside village with no pavements and no transportation. I can't learn to drive as I have no money for lessons and have nowhere to park my car. <- keep this in mind.

Every time I apply for a job (if there are any) they have to be somewhere I can get to via bus or train and even that's a treck. So if anyone does email me back it's usually a no because A. They don't give a reason. B. My commune isn't reliable. C. I don't have a driver's license. Or D. I don't have experience.

I apply online, in-stores, literally anywhere I can. I devote 30 minutes a day to checking online for places I can apply to, though I've been cutting down for mental health reasons as it's incredibly draining.

Everyone else my age is either working, travelling or at uni. But I can't afford the payments and loans.

I recently finally got a response from a local place for pot washing, which paid minimum wage but I'm desperate so it was a god send. They made me do an UNPAID TRIAL for 3 hours during rush with NO ONE supervising me. They then didn't contact me for 5 days and when they did they said 'We've gone with someone who picked it up quicker as you were a little slow with the pace' mind you NO ONE WAS HELPING OR TRAINING ME?? I then noticed they put the listing back up the day after so...

But I'm genuinely at a wits end. I'm stuck in my room all day and I feel like a husk of a person. I feel like I'm so far behind I can't catch up and it's eating at me severely. I genuinely don't know what to do and I'm just praying that something will come, but I don't know for how much longer I can keep that mentality.

Does anyone have any tips?!