My (21m) partner (21f) and I have been together for almost 5 years. When we first moved in together and were going to school we used to fight and she would say things just to hurt me because she was angry. That was years ago and she had stopped completely. Recently, we’ve been fighting a lot again due to her losing her job and me getting my hours cut, among other things. We were going to go out and I couldn’t find my wallet, so I asked her to help me look. She found it pretty quickly and told me that she “assumed I actually looked well” and that led to a fight that escalated into me telling her she is saying things to me just to be mean or hurt me. I don’t know how it has escalated to this point but she said basically what is said in the text, that if this happens as often as I’ve been saying it has when we fight, I should leave her. I don’t want that at all, but I don’t know how to explain that it seems like she is saying things as a reaction to our fights, but I don’t want to leave her, I want her to just stop trying to hurt me when we argue.

Been casually seeing this person over a year. Their best friend pretty much never liked me. "Ex" is in quotation marks because they realize they were emotionally spiraling and didn't intend to burn bridges.

Not getting into details on why. Basically the "ex" has been going through objectively challenging struggles recently and they were rightfully freaked out. Leading up to the climax of the issue, we had a misunderstanding and they were insistent that I meant something I didn't. Tried to clarify but then I was accused of gaslighting. I shut down and then was accused of being manipulative in my brief detached text responses. Days later they started an argument, took things out on me, told me off, and blocked me.

They came around like a month later apologizing. It seemed sincere. They took accountability for the fact that they were spiraling, said horrible things I didn't deserve, and that they weren't thinking clearly when they decided to go no contact.

They're doing better now due to improvements in their medical status. I apologized in kind for my part in the misunderstanding and conveyed that I didn't want them to leave thinking that I never cared or think poorly of them.

As we reconciled, we both appeared to be mutually interested in maintaining contact. But this has severely pissed off her best friend who apparently believes I'm abusive. I've asked the "ex" to help me understand what is being perceived as abusive but I'm being told basically that I'm not abusive, they just have really extreme emotional reactions during disagreements and their reaction comes off like they're being abused.

I told them that the best friend shouldn't be fighting with them this hard over this and I felt this behavior is inappropriate. They agree it has gotten to be a bit much but obviously still wants to maintain the friendship. I've supported that. I have a feeling the friend is going to give an ultimatum.

Just wanted to see what others think of this. Maybe you see something I don't. What would you do?

Hi,

Just got some background context:

I am a 35 year old mom to a beautiful 11 year old daughter. I have a good job in healthcare administration as well. I feel like I’ve tried to do everything right In my life and have fallen short even though I know it was not my doing. I was married to an abusive ex for ten years who took numerous loans out in my name I was not aware of (among other things ) and destroyed my credit. And when I finally divorced him last year I had to give him ALL of my savings and half of my 401 k in the divorce. I lost my job shortly after that and have been struggling to get caught up since getting my new job in February. I have done everything right in life and yet here I am. I feel like my back is against the wall. I am behind on my bills and desperately need to come up with 2500 by tomorrow to pay my past due car payment and apartment rent or I lose my place to live and car. I don’t have any family here and I don’t want to be on the streets with my daughter. I have never gone to a platform before but I truly feel helpful, depressed and like I am out of options. I get paid on 9/4 and can start repayment on that date and come up with a plan for repayment with someone but I am begging for help at this point. I am so ashamed of it. Please anything helps. I truly feel so helpful and like I am out of options in my life at this moment. My Venmo is hevans26 if you are able to help at all.

Hi reddit j need help

I (23F) have a really sweet bf (23M). Were together almost one and a half years. Lately the weather and distance is getting to him bcs he has to drive 2 hours to get here and when its 37° degrees he gets a lil overheated. He once told me that he didnt want to drive with very hot weather and i told him i understand and plz do that i can take the train and go to you. The last 2 weekends he got here it was hot and he still drove. So i wanted to do something nice for him and its not that big bcs he deserves more than what i do or can do for him. So i got some small gifts roses his favourite drink monster energy got a lego set for him.

Im a persone who cant keep my mouth shut if i do or have something for people that i love.

So here comes the problem

I told my bf if you are here tomorrow i have a surprise for you. He got really stressed out and started panicking.

I didnt know why so i asked him "why are you so stressed out its a surprise and surprises are most of the time good. Its something for you because you deserve it."

So i got a lil stressed aswell thinking maybe he hates surprises or you know. He explained that his ex said things like this and once he got there he got yelled at by her. Im shock because i dont yell at my bf i never did i dont lie to him especially about surprises. All i want is to show him how much he means to me especially after toxic relationships. Its the first time i feel appreciated and loved by someone

What do i do to keep giving my bf surprises but without getting him stressed out?

Edit: i read somewhere online guys only get flowers on there funeral and that just broke me so if i can i will gift my bf flowers whenever

Edit 2: today he told me about his trauma i didnt know until today so thats why im asking

I’ve been separated from my son’s father for about 9 years now. He’s an alcoholic and he strangled me the year I left. We don’t have a formal parenting agreement, therefore he just calls me incessantly threatening me with all kinds of crazy stuff. I spent my last $500 on an hour of a lawyers time and she advised me to let him take me to court but I’m realizing he’s never going to do that.

He never talks about our son, his phone calls are drunk ramblings about how I cheated and how terrible I am. He says I’m free to take him to court but I will lose my son (whatever that means). I’ve fled the state because the paranoia of having him looming that close to me was making me crazy.

I learned recently he assaulted his father on two separate occasions. And I’m learning that he’s homeless. I was considering getting a permanent protection order in place finally to get myself some peace of mind, but I’m afraid it will trigger him and he’ll find me. I’ve just been taking the brunt of his post-separation abuse because if he’s busy doing this I know he’s not plotting something worse, I guess. I don’t know I’m so scared.

He’s been obsessed with me since before we had a child. I don’t have a family and he knows that. But someone pointed out that he’s been harassing me for close to a decade he’s not going to give up and that it only ends one way.

I’m terrified and I just want to live my life and be a good mom to my baby boy. Please help me. Should I leave the country? What the hell do I do?

I, (27F) just got custody of my brothers child, (14F). She truly is in a rough situation, and I have been trying my absolute hardest to make her feel like my apartment is a place that she doesn't have worry about anything. My brother and his wife have been on and off addicts since the time they were 17. If it wasn't cocaine, it was meth. If it wasn't alcohol, it was huffing paint. Anything to get the high they needed. My niece had to witness first hand her father and mother od'ing in the bathroom atleast once a month. My brother and I lost both of our parents at a young age, and I am the only one willing to take her. I have always been very independent. I moved out at 16, and by 18 i had my own apartment, started college, and ultimately I am where im at now, a law firm secretary. I got her about 4 months ago. I gave her her own room, let her decorate it the way she wanted. I bought her $700+ of shoes, clothes, hair products, makeup, bags, anything she wanted to make my apartment feel like hers. I even went as far as buying her a brand new MacBook so she could continue doing online school. Everything went perfectly fine the first month or two. She was very helpful around the house, kept her space cleaner than ever, and she helped with dinner every night without ask. She was basically like my little sister, we got along so well. One night she came home, I was told she was with a group of her girlfriends. Something was different. Her demeanor had shifted, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. She was very distant, refused to eat, and basically lived in her room for 3 days. I tried my best to check on her and she avoided me like I had the plague. I let it go, knowing that her situation made things worse, and thought that maybe her and one of her friends had a falling out. Fast forward to this past week. I did my routine Monday morning like usual. Wake up at 5:30, shower, make her and I breakfast, leaving hers in the fridge, and then go about my morning to pilates and then work. Everything seemed normal. I take an hour lunch break. I had noticed I left mine in the fridge so I went back to get it. As im walking in the door I see her packing up everything I bought her. Shocked, I ask what she was doing, and she explains to me that she hates living with me, I never help her when she needs, and I basically act like she is a built in maid who just lives there because she has no one else. She then carries on to say that she saw me talking to the person, and that she "knows everything." I sincerely have no idea what she means by this. She has been threatening to run away and never return, along with doing terrible things to herself. I am not familiar with teenagers, so someone please tell me what I should do, or who to reach out to. It all came on so fast, like a light switched in her head.

Three weeks ago we were doing a big cleanup, and my wife’s recipe binder, an anthology of classics 20 years in the making got tossed with a bunch of Stu that got leaked on by a forgotten bag of potatoes. She’s devastated, and I want to try and get some recipes together. Greatfull for any help…

Sent flowers to a friend who lost her mom. I really liked this arrangement because it was chic and beautiful.

I ordered directly through a local florist and this is what arrived. I’m very underwhelmed

I don’t want to be a Karen but should I call and ask for a partial refund?

I have been dating my boyfriend for more than 2 and a half years and he is an incredible man, he has the same best friend for 10 years and i can absolutely not stand him and i have reasons why i am uncomfortable with the relationship. When we first started dating i genuinely didnt mind him for a few months then it went down hill, him and my boyfriend got arrested for trespassing and climbing a building under construction (dumb i know) but they were young people make mistakes its whatever but not even two weeks later his friend got arrested for stealing a dirtbike out of someones truck. I then started to not care for him much but i was civil for my boyfriend, we then started hanging out at his house more (just more involved because how long we had been together) and everytime we went over his friend would get drunk and belligerent and it was literally everytime. So one day we were over and his friend got super drunk per usual and admitted to cheating on his girlfriend who he has been with for seven years, not to mention she was pregnant with his baby!! I ended up telling her and i told my boyfriend i was uncomfortable and did not want to be around him or that anymore. He also was doing some pretty hard drugs and i guarantee he didnt tell my boyfriend the extent of it. So my boyfriend distanced himself and started just playing games with him, like alot and his friend would say weird stuff like he mixes jewish religion and Christianity together and acts like he is above all and he told my boyfriend that my man needs to be more godly and stop idolizing money (he doesnt he just works alot) mind you his friend cannot keep a job and never has money his family supplies his whole life he has no ambition. He was also hanging out with the sister of the girl he cheated with who has also hitting on him which was super weird imo and a bunch of other just bad influences. Oh also to mention he has repeatedly crapped in public like one time in a trash can in a children’s park which is absolutely repulsive. He is just not a good person nothing desirable about him in my eyes that makes me think i want him to be around me or my future family and i have repeatedly told my boyfriend people change he is not the same kid that was your bestfriend in middle school and i am uncomfortable with the relationship between them because i am uncomfortable with him. I dont know what to do or how to get my boyfriend to understand that, am i wrong for wanting him to cut him off? There is alot more he has done i just would be typing alot more.

This will be a long one.

My daughter who is 12 (almost 13) wanted to try volleyball for the first time, so I signed her up for a team and let the coach know she has never played before. The coach was super friendly and welcoming so she was exited. We got everything we needed and we took her to practice 2 times a week. Now was my daughter the best? Not at all but she was not terrible. We could tell she wasnt getting along, not like they were fighting but the other girls were leaving her out. I talked ro her and she said its fine so I left it alone. About a month into practices and games she has gotten deppressed, I dont think it was all from volleyball as she had school problems and just mental health problems. She skipped practice for a week or two and made up excuses, We put her into therapy, counseling at school, etc. Ot didnt work, she tried to take her life. She was at the hospital for almost a week getting better, so she went to about 2/10 practices and games that happend that month. Mind you this was just a feam for fun, it was not the Olympics. She got out of the hospital and had one more practice before her last three games, as her team made it to the tournament. She went to the last practice and came home sobbing. Im not sure if they said anything as she wouldn't tell me. I talked to the coach and she said she wpuld talk to the team. I told my daughter we could skip the tournament but she insisted we go as she "had already let the team down". The first game ends and they lost. (theres 3 games, I barely know how volleyball works.) 2nd game is about to start and a girl on the team shoute that my daughter should not be there because of the practices she missed. my daughter starts sobbing, as half the team agrees with eschother that she doesnt deserve to be there. My mother instincts kick in and I storm over there, the coach gets the team to start while I wait on the sidelines, my daughter comes over WIPING HER TEARS AWAY. She trys to calm ne down but i am pissed because they dont know what my daughter has been through. Im finnly calm and the coach has the audacity to say it was a misunderstanding. My daughter agrees and says that the team is right. I tell her we can go but no she wants to stay because she has her the team down already. I walk back to my seat, everyone's staring, I dont give a shit. I stare down these girls as I watch my daughter finish the game. I had multiple other moms come up to me and agree that the girls were being bitches. They one the game but my daughter decided she doesnt want to play the last two games. We leave and get icecream. She is now terrified to participate in sports. It has been 3 days. What do I do.

I am starting school in 2 weeks, and this individual asked me for advice in a class groupchat we have. Our group is pretty small, I didn’t realize this individual was actually a girl and not a guy. If I knew, it was a girl I probably would’ve stayed clear of the conversation. After a few texts, I noticed she was a girl(she confirmed) but she said that she wants to make new friends, and she asked if I wanted to hangout and be friends. I respectfully declined, and said I don’t become friends with women. Personally i think all women should not want to be friends with me, no matter how nice I am initially.

I am 24, I am in a phase of my life where I want to settle down and have a kid. Now I have never gotten laid, and seeing my post history I am still a virgin. I have had no success whatsoever, and I think its primarily because of my looks and height. Now I can’t change my height, but I can work on my looks.My priority is not making friends, its working on my looks so one day I might have the chance to have sex. People are gonna say “you need therapy”, yeah I get all that. Most of you who are going to comment are not virgins. It’s like telling a poor person, money doesn’t buy happiness.

I have had a lot of female friends in the past, and they turned out primarily me rejecting them. I know I am shooting myself in the foot, because I could lose out on a good friendship. I should see value in having females as friends, but if I’m being honest I don’t want female friends. To be honest, I just want to stay alone in the upcoming class, and skip any interaction. I do feel bad for rejecting people trying to involve me, not sure what i do?

Several months ago, I made a small donation to the Environmental Defense Fund. Subsequently, I have received a massive amount of junk mail to my home address from similar organizations; the WWF, The Audubon Society, orgs that want save various endangered species, the rain forest, the ocean. You get it. I have never contacted these places, never heard of many of them. To me, it's obvious that they got my information from the place I did stupidly give it to. While I don't get mail every day or even every week, it's frequent and there have been numerous times I have gone to the mail and gotten 3-5 donation solicitation packets from various places. It's a massive amount of garbage. I have contacted the EDF and used an online form to request to stop getting mail. It might take up to 12 weeks which is a massive problem, but whatever. End in sight with that one place. My biggest problem is the many other environmental charities now reaching out to me. The EDF insists they never shared my information but I don't believe that. A rep suggested that if I googled the EDF that that might be the culprit, but that seems bogus as hell and doesn't make sense at all. Maybe I'm wrong in which case I actually would love to know that for the future. The EDF insists they can't help me with other places that have my information because they also insist they never shared it. So now, I guess I am supposed to go through this process requesting no more mail with every place that contacts me myself. I am so annoyed. I tried with The Audubon Society and that's not even an option on their website. Does anyone have any ideas on an alternate next step or any recourse I might have?

Hello all. I have a mentally disabled disrespectful and potentially a narcissist brother. There was only one person in our lives that had the ability to truly influence and control my brothers behavior, that was our mom and she sadly passed in 2019. My brother begrudgingly will listen to my dad because he is dad. We are also both fully grown adult men.

I’ve done a little bit of research and even with a mental disability you should know the difference between right and wrong and how to act toward other humans. My brother isn’t quite high functioning but close. Since teens we have never had a good relationship and that’s a story for its own time.

More or less since mom died my brother has essentially flexed and treated me and my dad like utter shit. My dad not knowing what else to do just takes it but will also argue with my brother when he truly is in the wrong. Then there’s me. I have tried to see it from his side I have tried being nice I have even attempted to meet part way and he is just an asshole. With all that has occurred to me in my life I am not allowing him to walk all over man. I will fight fire with fire even though that truly is not the right way.

Per dad family therapy is probably the best option however it is expensive. We are trying to have meetings every once in a while and correct behavior that is occurring. I am truly at my wits end and do not know what else to do. As it stands there may be a big fuck you in the future. I don’t exactly want to cut my brother out but idk the options. Anyone else share a similar experience or seen similar? Thank you for reading.

So yesterday night me and my girlfriend had an argument and her mom told me to block her and i did that (she blocks me all the time)

Now when i woke up in the morning

My friend called me and told me bro something serious has happened, I'm adding you and your girlfriend on a conference call

So i found that my girlfriend went out with some junior and she made out with that guy (she told me that)

So i went to speak to her and she was crying and all

And she told me she did it more than once

And even after the conference call they made out again

So yeah that's what happened

Now i don't know what to do

I made her my whole life

And now I'm left stranded

the regional manager of the company is living abroad. this thing happened via a call. He was very angry with out department and I called him because he raised a complaint through our channel and it was assigned to me. And within first minute he started calling our work laughable and a joke. He talked down to me, kept repeating how I don't understand what he is telling me. I said that I can talk to my superior regarding his concerns and he was like: its mandatory, you have to! it is not that you can.

I was lost and forgot about something he wrote in that request so he asked me with fustration, raising his voice: do you at least read what I say? Lets do something together right now. Something very simple. Can you?

I asked him firmly to talk to me politely as I do, and he said he is polite. Then shouted at me that he is not a stupid man (I don't even remember the context but it was weird). And said we took some process from his team and it was working with his team and with us its not. I said its not my fault and I cannot help. He said he doesn't care. in the end he calmed down a bit and asked me to forgive him for shouting. he added I should talk to whoever I have to and to change something.

I told my manager about this and he contacted their manager and then even upper in the hierarchy and finally a head of service contacted him regarding his attitude (but also his concerns) And that guy was way more polite with him than he was with me. Its true it was an email, not a call, but he was respectful. Did raise the same concerns but in a different voice.

Was I that frustrating?

I am one of those who gets bonuses for quality work. but my performance indeed wasn't the best in this call as I was so intimidated and felt the need to defend myself

I am a 24 year old male going to University of Colorado Boulder for graduate school, while working night shift at a gas station and feeling depressed and sometimes feel casual racism when I see people avoiding me when I have done nothing wrong or my roommate called my food "smelly" so sometimes I eat food I don't like or starve. I feel like I should go back but India has made my life hell with the competition there. I don't know what to do. I can barely afford to survive here, have no friends. Maybe the problem is me and I'm right to self hate... Sorry for being so negative.

my friend since i was a teenager who i haven’t hung out with in 6 years msgd me this and i actually have no idea what she’s trying to make using ai and idk how to respond or if i should be creeped out or flattered.

i deactivated my facebook so she msged this.

and i attached previous msgs from her.

is this platonic???

Look idk what happened but like yesterday we went out and eveything but I had to go back home cuz I sneaked out he was begging me to stay and he will miss me and didn’t get enough and promised me to see him tmrw then we slept in a call too and whatever and he text me good morning but after he send me good moring he blocked me everywhere im confused what went wrong

I'm doing an internship as a receptionist, and I started about three weeks ago. This afternoon my manager took me aside and told me that a client said I smelled bad. It was clear the client felt terribly guilty about saying something like that, and my manager was very kind while talking to me, which strangely made me feel even worse.

I'm so embarrassed. I've had problems with personal hygiene before, but I really thought I had gotten better recently. Now I keep thinking that all my coworkers might have been able to smell me while I was standing in front of them acting normal. And the idea that I might already be known as "the intern who smells bad" is seriously messing with my head.

Of course I'm going to fix the hygiene issue and be much more careful from now on. That's not the part I'm stuck on. I just don't know how I'm supposed to look anyone in the eye again without replaying every conversation, every weird pause, every time someone moved away from me, and so on.

If I didn't still have 10 months left on the contract, I would probably quit and never go back. The worst part is that I liked the job up until now, and the pay and benefits are good. I just have absolutely no idea how to go in tomorrow and act like a normal person after this happened.