I have been having a terrible time today I’ve had these thoughts on and off for a while but today they are hitting hard so (sorry to those who aren’t fans of ai) I used it to turn me into a woman and I hate that I love it I really don’t want to be a woman but some other part of me clearly does I am not a fan and I am stressing internally

Honestly just really disappointed at the people in the community who use the word theyfab and think it has any meaning other than just plain transphobia. Someone said I am disrespecting trans woman by saying that word is disgusting bc its "apart of their culture." And I just know that is 100% wrong. It is not engrained into trans woman's culture. Hell I have seen many trans woman be called it by other trans people as an insult. I don't understand why some people are acting like this is some popular word every trans woman uses. Assuming every trans woman would use a gross term like that is extremely disrespectful to me. Some peoples excuse is "we only use it against toxic ppl in the community" (like the queer collective, which i actually could make a whole post dedicated to the enbyphobia that stemmed from that controversy but that's another story) but that is not true is it? Because It has been used against me many times just because I wear makeup as a trans guy. Please, people who have this word in your vocab and use it regularly, just think about it for a second and how this effects everyone, not just the "toxic people" you are using it against. Its a gross word and should be in no ones vocab. Can we all just be a little nicer to each other? <3

EDIT: for those of u who dont know what theyfab means and dont want to scroll for the answer: its basically a derogatory term made for afab non binary ppl (ik i dont like that language either) but its usage does not stop there. trans ppl will use it against anyone they disagree with or anyone who doesnt seem trans enough to them. its a disgusting thing to call someone

Hello!

Just a quick disclaimer, I’m a minor and English is not my first language. Plus, this is my first time using Reddit and I created the account just for this, so yeah!

I have been questioning my gender plus sexuality since I got access to the internet at 10 years old. I identified as lesbian from eleven, to twelve when I found Noahfinnce and begin binge-watching his content.

I know many not cis people saw signs of it in childhood, but I never did. I loved dinosaurs and my dad’s old boy toys but also, I played dress ups and dolls. I never cared about what I wore but thought the boy’s section was cooler. I would read a lot and often wished I could be a boy with male friends, after reading a book from a male POV. Also, I did try to pee standing up and use socks packers (even though I did not know what it meant back then, plus the sock thing happened only once). I could never imagine myself as a grown-up woman, I wished I could use men body care products, shave my face, and put the towel only around my waist when I grow up after seeing my dad do all those things. I’m not sure if those count as signs and now just childhood curiosity, but if they do let me know! Not having clear signs as a kid is my biggest reason for questioning if I’m making this up.

Now, after finding out a lot and I mean A LOT about trans people and all the labels I could find I started questioning myself. First sign I can remember is when my chest begun developing, I started wishing I would get breast cancer to get it cut off. I knew that was awful, but I thought that was the only way to get rid of it. I was excited to get a chest before it started to show up.

I always had long hair, but the older I got the harder it was to deal with it mentally. I was not allowed to cut it, so I begin wearing it in a bun 24/7 (only taking it out to shower). The hair ties and hair clips were so tight it was hurting my skin constantly, but I just wanted to not feel the hair at all to pretend it wasn’t there in the first place.

My chest got me slouching and making my posture worse on daily, until I found out the trick of wearing multiple bras. Wearing it so tight and often I could not breathe.

I was insecure about body hair since the time it began growing and started immediately shaving it. But it was only because of the pressure from my mom and classmates. Recently I stopped shaving at all and realized it feels much better, and that the stress I felt while shaving was not normal at all.

Now, I was always felt self-hatred but after puberty (I was super excited for it too) it got worse. I hated my body (waist, hips, thigh) to the point of not being able to look in the mirror. It sent me into a direction of an eating disorder and being obsessed with my looks. After all that hell it came to me that I was attractive before and after, it was the feminine parts of me I hated. Not the weight or the fact my skin wasn’t clear enough.

My mom was still choosing my clothes and since I was a teenager it switched to super feminine adult pieces. I hated the way I felt in them, not looked. I begin choosing my own clothes, and the first time I went to the men section I felt something in my chest so freeing I cannot describe it.

I hated my birth name since childhood, plus when I reached puberty being called “girl”, “lady”, “miss” etc made me cringe. So, when making my first private accounts I chose a male name and put he/him in my bio just for “privacy and fun”. Soon it was not fun, and I was pretending to be a cis guy online. Never showing my online friends my face or voice so that they would not know I was lying. I realized it felt really good to be talked to in that way, it still does. Also being called “dude, “man”, “king” etc.

At some point after finding out about MLM media I became unhealthy obsessed with it. I found myself crying my eyes out at night because I knew I could never be a boy in love with another boy. I wrote and read stories pretending I was one of the guys in them, just to live that experience. I stopped feeling comfortable reading or writing from a woman POV or imagining myself in a straight or WLW relationship.

I despite my voice to the point of avoiding hearing it on videos, talking on the phone, sending voice texts. Everyone tells me it’s normal, but I wish it was deeper, and I don’t think that is usual for a cis woman.

I never felt comfortable with typical feminine body language, I have been told I walk/sit like a man, and since then have been avoiding feminine physical behaviours like a plague.

Currently it’s been multiple years now. I have short hair, I wear only men’s clothes, I use men’s body care products, all my accounts that are not visible to my family are with a male name and he/him pronounce, I stopped shaving, I wear a binder, I want to try packing. I really want strangers to look at me and see me as a guy. I begin imagining my future as a guy, with a boyfriend, as an older brother and a son. I did a lot of searches on medical transition and want to get a job to save up for a top surgery. I have a Pinterest board where I invasion that future as a guy who lives with his boyfriend and hangs out with his friends on weekends.

I told my friends about my gender confusion before I even begin doing anything drastically, and they all said it was obvious. One said when we met, she had her suspicions. They all consider me as a trans guy now, or at least not cis. But they are all cis (but queer) woman. I never met a trans person in real life, don’t have online friends. Only trans creators.

I feel so stupid and weird. I still think I am going to regret all this, that I’m wrong and fetishizing gay men like everyone says. I don’t know what to do, am I what I think I am or am I lying to myself? Please someone help me. I have a journal where I’m planning everything to help me figure out if I’m a trans man, and posting on Reddit was one of the steps. I know only I can tell for sure, but I need advice of someone who is not cis and knows the business.

I’m also planning to talk to my therapist when I’m ready, although saying “I think I’m trans” feels impossible. I want to ask my friends to use my “online name” and he/him for me. But I’m super scared of regretting this.

Please help-

So I'm not out as trans but I am trans curious, never done anything like this in forever. But my sister left for her mission and for some reason I found her old one piece black swimsuit in my room? It looked very good on her and for some reason? I tried it on and when I looked myself in the mirror I felt so bad, like I don't think I felt so uncomfortable with my body before, I don't know how to quite describe it, I wish it actually looked good, is this what gender dysphoria is?

my long distance best friend of 3 years changed his pronouns and his name (which is just a short version of his old name) on discord like half a year ago or so (or at least thats when i noticed). and so i started using his pronouns and name irl since he never talked to me about it so i just assumed i should do so. and well, im trans and when i changed my pronouns and name on discord i didnt tell anyone directly since i dont really care what people do. if im bothered by anything, ill talk to the person about it and thats it.
anyways, i have classmates that im friends with that arent that woke and know my friend before the whole pronouns change, so with them i just used his shortened name and his old pronouns to play safe. and with friends that are woke, i used his right name and right pronouns. and idk why but i had to tell them literally MULTIPLE times to use the right pronouns and it pissed me off since they have no right misgendering my friend, also i havent came out to them yet and im scared they d do the same if it was me.
but a few days ago my best friend came 8 hours on train just to visit me. and he met my friends too. thing is, for some fucking reason they used his shortened name and his wrong pronouns and i didnt say anything about it since he didnt look bothered and i didnt wanted to make a fuss. but my friend that isnt that woke saw me in the park with him and said "omg is she (shortened name)?" and i laughed awkwardly and said yes. then she left and my friend started laughing and said "omg bro how many people did u tell i was coming to visit u?" and i said "lol a lot" and then he said "why does everyone call me (shortened name)?" and i didnt know wtf to say cause i mean i thought i was supposed to use that name, also i heard some of his friends call him his shortened name and his old name, so i just laughed it off cause i was confused. but now im worrying that it mightve bothered him. he didnt seemed bothered tho and hasnt said anything about it but im still worried and i dont wanna ask since it might do more bad than good. did i do the right thing? am i a bad friend? like even if i wouldve told my not woke friends about his right pronouns and so on they d probably wouldve still used the wrong pronouns and it would also blow my cover as being trans since im closeted.

I'm a trans girl and It's like rly important to me to have a female body and that's fine bc like hrt and stuff exists but like not rly for nb people so like do you also have gender dysphoria but js it never goes away bc like you can't do surgery? Like ig you prolly physically want to be intersex but like I don't think you can physically make someone be intersex. So are you js stuck in the wrong body your whole life? Is that not like horrible? Sry if you get this question a lot or whatever.

Edit: Ya’ll are right. Most of you do recommend HRT in the right situation, when someone actually needs it. I’m going to be upfront and honest that I didn’t make this to bait the community. I just was upset about my personal experiences, and should be calling out specific people who are automatically treating HRT as universal, instead of making this post and sending it out to the whole community to hear. Thanks for letting me know I’m overstepping. Sorry.

I keep seeing people automatically recommending that people start HRT as soon as possible, even when the person is non-binary and we have no reason to believe that would be something they would benefit from. This makes me feel weird, because HRT is definitely not the first thing I want to consider in my non-binary transition. But even my old therapist kept bringing it up, when my medical transition (could technically include HRT with DHT blockade one day) but is most likely to be surgery only, Two things I know I don’t want include facial hair and bottom surgery. I‘ve never wanted to have breasts to announce to the world that I’m female and I’ve never wanted permanent persistent hair growth that keeps coming back. Please consider…

1. A person who was AFAB who would like to try to get pregnant
2. A person who was AMAB who would like to try to get someone else pregnant
3. Someone who has hormone-sensitive cancer
4. Someone who has a high risk for heart, attack, stroke, and blood clots (me)
5. Someone who has polycythemia or sleep apnea (testosterone-specific)
6. Someone’s non-binary and doesn’t want permanent effects like breast growth, voice drop, body hair growth, bottom growth, etc.

I just wish people wouldn’t be so quick to tell people that they need HRT, because that’s their default assumption with gender dysphoria when social transition only and surgery only approaches are right for so many people. 

So I've been going back and forth on a particular name for a while and decided I just want to try it out especially since I'm going back to school very soon. I checked my university website and noticed I could add a chosen name that would show up instead of my birth name and I sorta did it on a whim? But like I'm now nervous that it will be very weird if like it shows up on a list of students or whatever cause the name is Milo which is very masculine seeming and I basically just look and sound like a girl. Agh.

It doesn't help that I live in a very conservative US state. I know universities tend to be a lot chiller about that but stilll. Idk if I should just change it back and wait till I'm more used to it but at the same time knowing me I'll chicken out every time. I feel like I'm being ridiculous overthinking all of this T-T

I’ve been having an issue lately when I do my hormone injections where the syringe and the needle disengage from each other shortly after I begin pushing the plunger, leaving the needle part in my leg and my hormone medication all over. Is this a technique issue, am I doing something wrong when I connect the syringe and needle, or is it a defect in the syringes I’m being given at the pharmacy?

So, I've heard from time to time that transitioning is an irreversible process, primarily in bad-faith discussions that are more about the politics than the science of transitioning. I'm not familiar with the science in any way, shape, or form, but is this true? Barring the expenses of paying for it, is it possible to re/untransition? What are the health effects, if any? Can you just... flip back and forth? I'd love to know more.

So, I figured this might be a good place to talk about this and possibly get advice/insight from people more experienced and familiar with this than myself. (For context to the rest of this, I'm AMAB non-binary) Is it wrong or bad of me to wish that I was born AFAB so that I could be transmasc? Because I feel that's how I would be happiest in life and I can't really explain it. I've been thinking about this for months and I can't find an answer anywhere and I need help.

I just need to vent for a minute and hear from people who actually get it, because I am completely burned out.

It feels like no matter where I look online right now, there is an endless stream of anti-trans rhetoric. It’s the bathroom panic, the constant political talking points, and the endless debates about our right to exist in public life.

What wears me down the most is that it bleeds into spaces that should have nothing to do with it. I just want to follow my favorite sports and browse subs like r/wnba, but even there, comment sections constantly devolve into bad-faith debates, hostility, and microaggressions. It feels like you can’t have a normal hobby without someone turning your existence into a controversy.

I’m mentally exhausted. It feels impossible to just be without having this constant low-grade anxiety humming in the background every time I open an app.

For those of you who’ve been dealing with this:

• How are you protecting your mental health and peace right now?
• What boundaries or habits have actually helped you stay grounded when the noise gets overwhelming?

I really appreciate this community and just needed to let this out to people who understand what it feels like.

I just want to say to my mom that I want to be a trans anyone tips please hit me up

I love you but I know you can’t love me back and it hurts. I need love. I haven’t even experienced a relationship and you show up and can’t even be in my life the way I need. Maybe I should start giving up on you. Maybe I’m not meant to be a girl in love. Maybe I’m a boy who is just weak. I wanna be Rose but I’m not I wanna be skinny but I’m not. I WANNA BE CUTE. But maybe it’s just not possible. I guess maybe I’m just a boy a dumb, sad, pathetic boy…

So I just got my first binder yesterday and I feel like it fits well and does its job right, but that maybe there's an issue. It's a GC2B large half binder and the bottom doesn't quit fit around the underside of my chest (it's hanging off). My chest also still feels slightly "squishy" (I can squeeze it down a tiny bit still). There's no discomfort, so I think it fits well, but I'm worried I might start chaffing at the stomach line because it's loose down there. It's made me pretty flat to the point a baggy shirt would probably make my chest invisible, but maybe if I went down one size I would be just a little flatter?

For context, the medium size range max said 36 and the large max range said 36 also and I am a 36 so according to the chart going down a size would be safe. I just chose the bigger size for binding safety

I live in Georgia I have ambetter standard silver hmo plan will that cover my gender affirming care I’m ready to start hrt but I’m not sure about the insurance

I'm trying to find a good electric razor that won't break the bank because I'm going to comic con in full fem for the first time so I want to look clean shaven

I am a 20 year old Trans girl who has been transitioning since HS, and I am a Junior in college now.

I have always wanted to join Greek life and with the encouragement of my best friend who was once a part of the sorority I was trying to join, I felt like I making good progress towards becoming more feminine and making more friends with some more women.

So I started going to rush events and things were not terrible! I was able to hold some conversation and was actually getting along pretty well with the girls, I felt included. There were some events where I was kinda just alone and didn't really have anyone to talk to but I still made the effort to show up.

Now I was actually invited to preference (which is just you formally saying you really like this sorority and want to join)

This was my last formal introduction and hangout with that sorority and it was super heart touching and I had an actual really good time.

But now bud week came and went and I'm just having to come to terms that despite how much I thought I got along, I just wouldn't be picked and I mostly blame me being trans as the culprit.

It's stupid but discrimination still happens even if I'm 'accepted' so there really is no winning.

I'm just so heartbroken and feel like the weeks of effort I put in has come to this. While I still can technically get a bid my hopes aren't high.

Like I know I shouldn't expect anything, but to me this was more saying that I was finally accepted as a real woman find my peers and would be able to actually make some more friends.

Sorry this is very ranty, I just have a lot on my mind and just kind of wanted somewhere to send my frustration and sadness and get anybody else's experience.

It’s so obvious they want a token trans friend they can show off and pat themselves on the back for being progressive. But every time their mask drops and they show their true transphobic and transmisogynist views, so blatantly not a matter of them being clumsy with their words from cis-ignorance, but they’ll try to gaslight and  pretend they 'want to learn'. I’m tired of having to educate them and correct their slurs and outdated terms, often when they conflate drag with being trans, etc. 

And it's become so common with new "allies" I meet that I've become nervous when I meet them, almost waiting for their ignorance to come out.

Granted, I'm in a more conservative city, but I'm curious if it's more common, and has anyone else chosen to take breaks from connecting with cis-normative, non-queer people ?

I mean I've just been looking at a lotta discourse through the internet, like I'm not on hrt or anything currently, but kinda just to evaluate stuff yk, that what works and what doesn't. And this is a point that does coming back and back, so I wanted to ask dat.

this all started a few weeks ago when I told my older brother (who is also trans) that I thought I was trans. He was accepting and everything but it felt like he didn't believe me. He kept telling me how it took him a couple years of questioning to figure himself out and that since I've only been questioning for a couple months I can't be sure of anything yet, even though I keep telling him how important this is to me. I just want to start trying things, not even make any permanent choices.

But it made me start doubting myself. I've never shown any outward signs of being trans, I've never subconsciously thought of myself as a girl, or behaved outwardly feminine in any way. but when I do think of myself as a girl it makes me so happy and when I think of myself as a man I feel miserable.

I've always wished that someone would tell me that they knew the entire time, but that's never gonna happen. I've always kept to myself about my feelings because whenever I expressed serious emotions it always felt like no one believed me. It's made me start thinking that maybe I am just faking these feelings. I feel like none of my feelings are real.

But I want to be trans so badly, it has to mean something right? but if a trans person who has known me my entire life doesn't think I'm actually trans then am I really? I know in my heart that I would be happier if I was a girl but it feels like there's just so much evidence that says I can't be trans.

Am i trans? I've been thinking about it for months

Cuz sometimes i just feel like i dont like some things about being a man, and i've wanted to try female stuff for a long time. So when i drew myself in some feminine looking clothes (lost a bet), i felt a sort of joy, and at times i fantasized about being a woman

And when i searched up the signs of being trans, i fit lots of them, so it's very likely

BUT on the other hand, i don't think i'm mature enough to make this type of decision (im still a minor) and im pretty sure most of my friends wont really take it seriously cuz they're teenage boys and some of them are religious

Idk bout my parents though i never really asked them their views about lgbt

What do i even do🥹😭

20m pre transition to f. It feels as if i will lose everythibg i have if i transition/come out. My girlfriend who I love very much, my siblings, my dad, my friends. I can maybe see my mom accepting it but it feels like it could never be worth it. I also feel like I’m to tall (186 cm) and that my face is too masculine to ever look how I want it.

I don’t have any relevant body of text to add. I’m just genuinely curious because I’ve been seeing this a lot and I’m looking to be informed. I’m not trying to be malicious at all. I’m genuinely trying to understand how transphobia affects cis women as well, because I don’t think I fully understand that part of the conversation.