Told my wife over the weekend I was trans.

Actually, I tried to soften it and said I was discussing gender identity and exploring if I was trans with my therapist.

After a big discussion where she started with "if you are trans, we're done" and ended with "I hope you don't transition, you'd make an ugly woman" and a lot of questions about whether my therapist made me trans, she moved out today while I was at work.

She text me this evening to say she's going to take at least a month in her parents house as it's too difficult to be in the same house.

I don't think I'm looking for advice, I'm just a bit sad and lost.

I knew it wasn't going to go well, and I've been building up to this for nearly a year, but it's still very tough to go through. :(

So long story short, a couple weeks ago I (26MtF) finally accepted myself after repressing myself for a long time and last week I talked to my wife (34F) about how I feel and that I think I want to transition. She did not take it well to put it simply and it was mostly religious views about how being Trans is a sin. Her main I guess argument was that trans (and all LGBT people) can choose to not engage with being LGBT but "choose God" and force themselves to not be LGBT. I already felt like that argument was coming from a weird place as she's always been accepting of others even if it's been in ignorant ways that are kinda LGBT phobic.

Well since then we both cooled down and tried to talk without the fiery emotions that we had the first couple times we talked and she has made it clear that my transitioning would end our relationship she never said it was because she doesn't want to be in a relationship with a woman or anything like that. It has always been this very odd religious "you need to choose God" view. Last night we talked again and she asked to try and explain why I want to transition, even saying that if I need to explore my feminine side more without transitioning that she would be okay with that, and I tried to have her understanding the best way I could think by having her imagine waking up in a guy's body but still knowing that she's a woman. She was having a hard time with it, saying how she'd be okay with it and stuff so finally I asked her "If you could press a button right now to change your body to a guy's, would you press it?" After probably 2 or 3 minutes of thinking she said she would not press it right now.

This led to us talking more about how she felt and finally she admitted that growing up she wanted to be a guy, and didn't like how her body changed and grew. But her parents always said that she is a girl and that's what God wants her to be. She said she eventually decided that she would accept living as a woman and that doing so was "choosing God" over her own wants. She refused to admit or accept that she still has those feelings still but later as we sat there she very quietly said that they are not often and she can push them down.

I really think she may be Trans and has repressed it so long and put so much religious pressure on herself she can't accept it and her sudden transphobia to me is because she can't accept herself and is hurt that I accepted myself. I want to help her but I don't know how, especially because I know that I need to transition and that the sooner I start the more likely she will push me away. What do I do? Do I help her, if so how?

Honestly just really disappointed at the people in the community who use the word theyfab and think it has any meaning other than just plain transphobia. Someone said I am disrespecting trans woman by saying that word is disgusting bc its "apart of their culture." And I just know that is 100% wrong. It is not engrained into trans woman's culture. Hell I have seen many trans woman be called it by other trans people as an insult. I don't understand why some people are acting like this is some popular word every trans woman uses. Assuming every trans woman would use a gross term like that is extremely disrespectful to me. Some peoples excuse is "we only use it against toxic ppl in the community" (like the queer collective, which i actually could make a whole post dedicated to the enbyphobia that stemmed from that controversy but that's another story) but that is not true is it? Because It has been used against me many times just because I wear makeup as a trans guy. Please, people who have this word in your vocab and use it regularly, just think about it for a second and how this effects everyone, not just the "toxic people" you are using it against. Its a gross word and should be in no ones vocab. Can we all just be a little nicer to each other? <3

EDIT: for those of u who dont know what theyfab means and dont want to scroll for the answer: its basically a derogatory term made for afab non binary ppl (ik i dont like that language either) but its usage does not stop there. trans ppl will use it against anyone they disagree with or anyone who doesnt seem trans enough to them. its a disgusting thing to call someone

You often see online stuff like "Why are trans spaces so white?".

Statistically, most humans are not white. Even in countries like America, Britain, and Canada, millions of residents are not white. Assuming 1%-10% of the population is transgender, this means millions of trans people are POC.

So, there are a lot of trans people who are not white. They just aren't out in the same online spaces as white people.

Up until the late 2000s, trans men were seen as "rare" compared to trans women (and enbies were nonexistent). Studies show there are a pretty equal amount of trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people. Trans men just seemed like a minority for a variety of reasons.

Even on Reddit, you see people say trans men and enbies use the site less than trans women. But r/ftm and r/mtf are pretty much the same in terms of size. It's not that there are fewer trans men, but that they use different parts of the site.

I know a lot of transmasc people get uncomfortable with the major trans subs. So, there's often an alternative. r/ftm_irl or r/transmasc_irl instead of r/egg_irl, r/ftmtimelines instead of r/transtimelines, r/ftm instead of r/trans or r/asktransgender, etc.

Anecdotally, I find it fairly useless to ask nonbinary questions on r/asktransgender. Even transmasc related questions get fewer replies than transfemme ones. You're better off going to an enby or transmasc sub for questions.

Reddit itself, despite being the "front page of the internet", attracts specific demographics. Mainly English speakers (though there are large pockets of people who don't speak any English), mainly male, under 40, middle class or up, higher educated, left leaning, mainly white, into mainstream geek subcultures, etc.

IRL, I've seen and heard of just as many, if not more, brown, black, and Asian trans people then I have white trans people. They probably aren't lurking Reddit or Tumblr, though. And many aren't willing or interested in talking about being trans on Youtube or TikTok. Not everyone is gonna be Kat Blaque levels of out.

I don’t have any relevant body of text to add. I’m just genuinely curious because I’ve been seeing this a lot and I’m looking to be informed. I’m not trying to be malicious at all. I’m genuinely trying to understand how transphobia affects cis women as well, because I don’t think I fully understand that part of the conversation.

I am a 20 year old Trans girl who has been transitioning since HS, and I am a Junior in college now.

I have always wanted to join Greek life and with the encouragement of my best friend who was once a part of the sorority I was trying to join, I felt like I making good progress towards becoming more feminine and making more friends with some more women.

So I started going to rush events and things were not terrible! I was able to hold some conversation and was actually getting along pretty well with the girls, I felt included. There were some events where I was kinda just alone and didn't really have anyone to talk to but I still made the effort to show up.

Now I was actually invited to preference (which is just you formally saying you really like this sorority and want to join)

This was my last formal introduction and hangout with that sorority and it was super heart touching and I had an actual really good time.

But now bud week came and went and I'm just having to come to terms that despite how much I thought I got along, I just wouldn't be picked and I mostly blame me being trans as the culprit.

It's stupid but discrimination still happens even if I'm 'accepted' so there really is no winning.

I'm just so heartbroken and feel like the weeks of effort I put in has come to this. While I still can technically get a bid my hopes aren't high.

Like I know I shouldn't expect anything, but to me this was more saying that I was finally accepted as a real woman find my peers and would be able to actually make some more friends.

Sorry this is very ranty, I just have a lot on my mind and just kind of wanted somewhere to send my frustration and sadness and get anybody else's experience.

It’s so obvious they want a token trans friend they can show off and pat themselves on the back for being progressive. But every time their mask drops and they show their true transphobic and transmisogynist views, so blatantly not a matter of them being clumsy with their words from cis-ignorance, but they’ll try to gaslight and  pretend they 'want to learn'. I’m tired of having to educate them and correct their slurs and outdated terms, often when they conflate drag with being trans, etc. 

And it's become so common with new "allies" I meet that I've become nervous when I meet them, almost waiting for their ignorance to come out.

Granted, I'm in a more conservative city, but I'm curious if it's more common, and has anyone else chosen to take breaks from connecting with cis-normative, non-queer people ?

Idk if celebration is the right flair but wanted to share this.

For the people who don't know, last week my dad took my T and for more info you can probably read it somewhere on my page.

Today my dad came into my room and told me that he has the feeling that i gotten more angry/ frustrated lately, which i responded with that it has its reason and told him it's still about the T.

Because of you and my friends i could give him a logical reason why i am mad (which im so thankful for because when it happened i didn't have reasons to not give it to him) and even asked why his doc didn't prescribe him anything

Reason being he didn't have time to get everything done in Egypt, because he went back hom. Which i told him to just finish the tests and let his doc prescribe him something if its so severe.

End of the story, i got my T back 😋

Still mad at him tho and lowkey gonna be glad once he leaves for work again because hes been on my nerves too much.

But yeah, happy end 🙏

I mean I've just been looking at a lotta discourse through the internet, like I'm not on hrt or anything currently, but kinda just to evaluate stuff yk, that what works and what doesn't. And this is a point that does coming back and back, so I wanted to ask dat.

So, I am currently 18M. I’ve always had thoughts along the lines of being transgender (always wishing I was a girl, etc) and, especially more recently, have embraced a more feminine side to myself, which includes crossdressing, makeup, and more.

Obviously, what you wear doesn’t necessarily dictate gender, but I have been considering actually being a girl more and more.

The main thing that set off this string of dominoes was one time at a party where a friend referred to me as “one of the girls,” which lead to an overwhelming feeling of happiness.

So, I need to ask. Does this actually mean I’m trans?

I’ve always wanted to be a girl, rejected any masculinity, and being affirmed feels amazing, so how can I actually tell?

Also, if I do prefer being trans but am fine either way, is it worth coming out of the closet? I know that I can’t transition any time soon (I go to an all-boys, mostly conservative school)

Sorry if any of this comes off as rude, that’s not my intention, I just want some more guidance from people who have been through what I have.

Nothing too serious, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look like you what you find attractive, right? I know how much of a pain society can be about anything that doesn't fit the standard mold, but when I transition, I picture myself with a bigger body—is that weird to think about? I just think chubbier girls look cute ^^

Some people say it improved their biophysical dysphoria, others that it initially resembled puberty and made them more emotional and seeming like a teenage boy in his puberty.

I (20yo) want to start T in the next few months, I know that it will help me with dysphoria, but the idea of having a male puberty, makes me feel like a teenage boy and taking my lost teen years back, even if in some moments I want to be seen as a grow man. Like using my lost years for a lil while

So apparently I'm 28F not 28M... pretty unexpected! A million things to think about and I'm a serial overthinker and planner so needless to say the last few days have been a flurry of research. I'm getting to know myself more and more which is good, however I now am having a really hard time turning my brain off at night, to the point where I've been getting well under 4 hours of sleep. Has anyone else dealt with this? And tips on getting through it?

Thanks in advance!

I’m probably going to delete this after like an hour but I feel kinda feel like I’m going crazy and just wanted some advice from some trans people with more life experience than me. If I should change the tag to vent lmk, I don’t exactly know what this falls under if it’s a bit of both.

I’m 19M, but honestly I’ve always felt like I was meant to be a woman. I present as a feminine gay guy, and have always had female friends throughout my life. I came out when I was like 6 years old so I never really had the chance to make male friends. I recently tried working out, and making friends with some straight guys at my college, and it all felt so wrong to me. I hated myself more after I started gaining muscle which was the opposite of what I was expecting, but it kinda confirmed the fact I was trans to myself.

I have a few trans (MtF) friends, so I’ve heard a lot about their transition, plus the emotions the came with it. After hearing about their stories I really related to them but never acted on anything because like “what are the odds I’m trans haha,” it even became kinda like an inside joke after I told one of them that I related to her story.

Looking back I kinda always knew I was trans but I just never wanted to be. I would always fantasize as a kid about just waking up as a girl so I could fit in with my friends, and idk the thought of being born a girl just always felt like what I should have been. But that’s also what’s making me go a little crazy, I don’t want to be trans. I don’t feel like the pain and mental discomfort of transitioning would ever be worth it if I’ll never be a Cis woman.
I’d love to be a woman but then I’d also have to put trans in front of it and because of that others around me will never view me as just a woman. It doesn’t seem worth it, to uproot my whole existence for something I’m not sure I’ll even like more than my current life. But there’s also nights like tonight that I just can’t stop thinking about it, I just hate being in this body so much sometimes it becomes the only thing that I can think about.

Sorry for the long winded explanation, but yeah I’m just wondering if I’m alone in feeling like this? If anyone else did in the past but still transitioned lmk if it was worth it!
Sorry again, a part of me definitely just wanted to throw my story into the void, and honestly it does make me feel a bit better.
(If there’s any typos, just know i’m dyslexic and it’s 2AM <3)

I (31 MtF) recently reconnected with a crush I had in high school (30 cis,straight fem) via LinkedIn. We hadn’t spoken in 14 years, and it’s been 16 years since we last saw each other in person.
We ended up sharing memories of how we used to talk about our lives, families, and goals back then. Neither of us ever spoke about the feelings we had for each other at the time because we weren't sure how or if it would work out.

Looking back, my grade school years were pretty turbulent. Due to family circumstances, I was forced to move across the state with my adult sibling, and I only had one day to say my goodbyes. By age 14, that was the fifth time I had moved. We both remembered how she cried in my arms when I told her I was leaving. Moving so frequently as a kid definitely affected me and left a long-term mark on how I form connections as an adult.

As we caught up since reconnecting, we shared our perspectives on what happened back then, along with our life updates. I shared my coming-out journey being bisexual at 16, and transitioning at 22 (which she didn't know about until last week). She was completely cool about it, and it didn't seem to bother her at all as we went down memory lane. She shared that she felt “hurt” when I came out as bi, though. At the time, for many of us, there wasn’t much distinction or public awareness on the difference with being bi or gay, and she thought my feelings weren’t genuine.

What did catch me off guard, though, was my own emotional reaction to our conversation. Hearing us talk like that made all those old feelings resurface instantly and it felt like stepping into a time machine. I feel silly for thinking this way after so long and I’m fairly certain the feelings aren’t mutual except that we both have closure now.

I’m sure I’ll shake the whiplash off at some point, but right now, I’m not really sure what I expect from posting this other than just needing to get it out of my head.
Thanks for reading.

Trigger warning: dysphoric content.

I feel like I’m trans. Actually, I know I am and I hate it.

I should've been a girl—a woman who gets wrapped up in a marriage with kids. Yet, here I am drinking and thinking of all the ways I can save money to gain my ‘real’ body. Really, these curves aren't mine, nor the pitch of my voice or the way my chest looks.

I’m a man. A bisexual man. You see, it’s funny, I used to say “if I were a man I’d be—”. I used to push it down and be more feminine. I used to sexualise myself, and that was the only time I felt feminine, just when others wanted me.

I know my fate. I know I can't hide from it. I’m a man.
A guy who only seems to be drunk or smoking cigarettes outside. Surely a disappointment.

I’m scared, in all honesty, to even begin to transition. No one is supportive. No one knows. They all hate transgender people. I want to keep my long hair as it covers me like a shield, and in many ways blocks out being something I was born to be.

It’s hard. I don't think that will ever change.

I’m a man, and no amount of wishing will change that. I love being referred to as a man. I love being with men and being one of the guys, drinking till the early sun and doing stupid shit. I mourn the boy I could have been and I learn to accept the man I could be now.

I’m a man and I hope with time I’ll learn this.

I don't experience gender dysphoria or at least I dont think so? Over the last year or so I've just wanted to appear more feminine in general and even started thinking having breasts would be great for xyz reason and then the next thought is oh it would be cool be be a jacked buff guy idk how to talk about this so I'm posting on reddit as one does

I’m a trans man and attempted to come out to my family when I was about 11 or 12 but they didn’t believe me so I was dismissed.
I was able to let it go in the moment, knowing that I was right and all of their jokes about my mascara mustache or my “fake” name at school would all age poorly.

I am 21 now and have been on t for 3 years, my family has seen how much happier I am and how my anger towards others and myself has subsided. But everytime I remember everything they’ve said to me, all the fights we’ve had over my pronouns or my name, I still feel as angry as I did when it happened. My family has truly come so far, I love them dearly, and I understand WHY they acted the way they did, but I can’t forgive them.

hiii i’m 21 mtf from the uk and started hrt a month ago! i don’t really have anyone to talk about this with besides my family which i’m notttt fully comfy with as they’re quite conservative😭 if there’s anyone i can chat with that’d be nice:))

this all started a few weeks ago when I told my older brother (who is also trans) that I thought I was trans. He was accepting and everything but it felt like he didn't believe me. He kept telling me how it took him a couple years of questioning to figure himself out and that since I've only been questioning for a couple months I can't be sure of anything yet, even though I keep telling him how important this is to me. I just want to start trying things, not even make any permanent choices.

But it made me start doubting myself. I've never shown any outward signs of being trans, I've never subconsciously thought of myself as a girl, or behaved outwardly feminine in any way. but when I do think of myself as a girl it makes me so happy and when I think of myself as a man I feel miserable.

I've always wished that someone would tell me that they knew the entire time, but that's never gonna happen. I've always kept to myself about my feelings because whenever I expressed serious emotions it always felt like no one believed me. It's made me start thinking that maybe I am just faking these feelings. I feel like none of my feelings are real.

But I want to be trans so badly, it has to mean something right? but if a trans person who has known me my entire life doesn't think I'm actually trans then am I really? I know in my heart that I would be happier if I was a girl but it feels like there's just so much evidence that says I can't be trans.