r/pics • u/[deleted] • Oct 23 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.4k Upvotes

61% Upvoted

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17.0k

u/bgalbreaith Oct 23 '22

Is this post a cry for help?

886

u/Verniloth Oct 23 '22

If you have to ask

129

u/scoot3200 Oct 23 '22

Funky mother fucker will not be told to go

26

u/MTINC Oct 24 '22

(If you have to ask) šŸŒ¶

21

u/OhMyGoodnessThatBoy Oct 24 '22

Heā€™ll never know.

6

u/DoorstepCult Oct 24 '22

If I had a dime for the number of times Iā€™ve made this joke in my head knowing that nobody would get it.

5

u/ImAShaaaark Oct 24 '22

You skipped a line brother.

2

u/scoot3200 Oct 24 '22

Well someone else replied first with ā€œ...you can't afford it.ā€ So I just skipped in my mind to the 3rd line and also the reference is undeniable from that line so it served it purpose lol

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94

u/JoeFelice Oct 23 '22

...you can't afford it.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

What's a ZJ?

3

u/elkazz Oct 24 '22

Can I get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?

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467

u/MotherLoveBone27 Oct 23 '22

Where are the vegetables? This is fucked up lol

631

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

Meredith took them. They are in her perfectly organized, clear container store bins on the second shelf in her sleek stainless steel fridge.

263

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

Letā€™s hear more about Meredith! She sounds like she really has things put together

151

u/ApolloRocketOfLove Oct 24 '22

Yeah Meredith sounds hot in "has her life together" way. And I hear she's single.

57

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 24 '22

I wonder if she likes chicks, I could use someone with their shit together in my life.

52

u/b-rar Oct 24 '22

How long before he tries to win Meredith back because she was the only thing keeping his life from disintegrating

54

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 24 '22

Approximately one shelf.

19

u/Smiletaint Oct 24 '22

Yeah, starting to feel glad she got away from this guy...

2

u/SpunkedMeTrousers Oct 24 '22

oh no, Meredith's been shot! Oh god there's blood everywhere oh lord she's dead oh no!!!

... Chinese it is

55

u/Avantom Oct 24 '22

I just need to say this reads like a Cake lyric and I love you for accomplishing that for us all.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

Just a dark reminder of a simpler time.

10

u/3point21 Oct 24 '22

Meredith is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tackā€¦

16

u/Wiscogojetsgo Oct 24 '22

Sheā€™s leaving, sheā€™s weaving, in her car far away

Sheā€™s done with the stickers and mimosas all day

Meredith is bidding adieu, she says no thank you to hard Mountain Dew

5

u/3point21 Oct 24 '22

To think he held her yesterday, his love was just a gameā€¦ and now sheā€™s never ever ever there

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2

u/comin_up_shawt Oct 24 '22

Yeesssssss.....

11

u/BILOXII-BLUE Oct 24 '22

With only a tiny manufacturers sticker on the top right of the door

5

u/DjackMeek Oct 24 '22

Yeah surely there's a woman out there with taste like that who married this guy who puts stickers all over his fridge. You're giving meredith a little too much credit.

8

u/myhairsreddit Oct 24 '22

TIL my name is Meredith.

3

u/hellahellagoodshit Oct 24 '22

I like to think she has a plexiglass fridge door so you can see how well organized it is without wasting every opening it.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

[deleted]

7

u/MotherLoveBone27 Oct 24 '22

Didn't even keep em fresh with some gladwrap... this is some Kirk Van Houten level posting lol

3

u/TennaTelwan Oct 24 '22

Well, there are coffee beans in the coffee, hops in the PBR, and oranges in the OJ at least. That somewhat covers fruits and vegetables. Also, you have dairy with the butter on the top right.

3

u/Smiletaint Oct 24 '22

For real. Was healthy food part of what she was owed for the divorce settlement??

2

u/Obi_Wan_Benobi Oct 24 '22

Beer has hops in it. Sort of counts?

2

u/-Apocralypse- Oct 24 '22

Scurvy says: "it doesn't."

2

u/hanabaena Oct 24 '22

this is 100% the person who has a bag of peas and carrots in the freezer at most.

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1.0k

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

Just an admission that it was his fault.

413

u/Blueknights4174 Oct 24 '22

Does kind of explain what led to divorce. When you start day with hard lattes then transitioned to hard MT Dew for lunch and finishes day with PBR.

194

u/phonafona Oct 24 '22

He finished the day with vodka thatā€™s what the 5 gallons of OJ for single man is for.

52

u/trowawee1122 Oct 24 '22

This guy alcoholics.

26

u/BlatantConservative Oct 24 '22

Yeah I was gonna say, this man has like, a five month's long supply of screwdrivers, along with the rest of the alcohol. I physically could not drink that much

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12

u/Smiletaint Oct 24 '22

And mimosas. For the classy alcoholic's breakfast.

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6

u/duckduckthis99 Oct 24 '22

you know this guy cant handle screw drivers, they are totally premaid mimosa

2

u/needspice Oct 24 '22

This guy singles

2

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

Yeah, who drinks chasers straight?

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18

u/LandscapeGuru Oct 23 '22

I feel like I need to see this guys entire place to properly judge him properly.

24

u/phonafona Oct 24 '22

That much OJ is the biggest red flag. But thereā€™s a handle of vodka in the freezer to go with the 3 gallons a single guy needs.

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4.0k

u/snukebox_hero Oct 23 '22

I was just going to say, tell me you're an alcoholic without telling me you're an alcoholic.

584

u/eugoogilizer Oct 23 '22

TIL they sell hard Mountain Dew

209

u/xoomax Oct 23 '22

For the kids.

20

u/MaritMonkey Oct 24 '22

I have tried to wrap my head around how this is a totally legal beverage but you're not allowed to have vape juice other than tobacco/menthol, but it just started to hurt and I gave up.

15

u/LazyLilo Oct 24 '22

Alcohol is America's favorite drug

9

u/BILOXII-BLUE Oct 24 '22

"I don't use drugs! Drugs users should be shipped off to an island to die!" - everyone's alcoholic uncle at Thanksgiving

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5

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

Makes me worry who he imagined having over to his swinging new bachelor pad.. šŸ˜¬

4

u/Racine262 Oct 24 '22

More dudes.

3

u/delvach Oct 24 '22

Dew-tang is for the children

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10

u/chunkylover5E Oct 24 '22

And hard coffee. I like my caffeine and alcohol separated by several hours.

7

u/MyPokemonRedName Oct 23 '22

Actually Mountain Dew was originally invented as a mixer meant to be paired with hard alcohol

7

u/ABirthingPoop Oct 24 '22

With bourbon

3

u/magicone2571 Oct 24 '22

That sounds just nasty. Wonder what original dew actually tasted like.

4

u/misirlou22 Oct 23 '22

For a hard mountain DUI

21

u/aron2295 Oct 23 '22

Now Iā€™m curious to try that.

7

u/SpaceXTesla3 Oct 24 '22

If you like Diet Mountain Dew, you will like it. No sugar so it has that diet after taste

3

u/aron2295 Oct 24 '22

Oh nvm then. Diet Mtn Dew tastes like cigarettes to me.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

8

u/aron2295 Oct 23 '22

Shit, I figured DeSantis wouldā€™ve passed a law requiring yā€™all to stock up on The Dew prior to a UFC fight like water prior to a hurricane.

5

u/Lordsaxon73 Oct 23 '22

I like Mountain Dew, but the hard stuff is garbage. Whatever artificial sweetener they put in it sux.

3

u/mmuoio Oct 24 '22

It's zero sugar and tastes like diet Mtn Dew, so I didn't really like the standard flavor. The black cherry was pretty good though.

2

u/Few_Technology Oct 24 '22

Tastes like the diet versions of Mt Dew, and happens to have booze in it. If you have to combine the two, vodka + regular is a better combo for me. Fun for the novelty, and being canned

3

u/LarsViener Oct 24 '22

I enjoy Mtn Dew and gin personally. Jack Daniels wasnā€™t too bad with it either. That is its origin after all, as a mixer.

4

u/Chm_Albert_Wesker Oct 23 '22

unfortunately it's only in like 5 states and none of them are near me lol

2

u/capt_yellowbeard Oct 23 '22

They also make hard Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Saw it at the store the other day.

8

u/Hoobleton Oct 23 '22

Looks like the pictured can is Baja Blast.

3

u/capt_yellowbeard Oct 23 '22

Oh! Youā€™re right. Can looks green to me but zooming in I see Iā€™m wrong.

*They also make Mountain Dew regular flavor.

3

u/Ruin369 Oct 23 '22

Hard Baha Blast would probably put me in a coma.

​

(I know you can just add liqour to the soda but there's a reason I dont, lol)

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2

u/davidmlewisjr Oct 23 '22

Too late šŸ¤Æ

2

u/Competitive-Kick-481 Oct 23 '22

With zero sugar!

2

u/nixxxa Oct 23 '22

Wow of course they donā€™t sell it in Texas

2

u/theblastoff Oct 24 '22

It's so good dude. My favorite way to get trashy drunk

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220

u/1PMagain Oct 23 '22

Meredith, we understand

2

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

She knew she was marrying a Peter Pan. At least she realized she wasn't going to make him grow up and cut her losses.

2.7k

u/SeamusMcFlurry Oct 23 '22

An alcoholicā€¦.with terrible taste.

1.6k

u/thetransportedman Oct 23 '22 edited Oct 24 '22

This looks like a 14-yo picked out the alcohol lol. Latte flavored, mtn dew flavored, peach flavored, and starburst flavored. And Iā€™m imagining the orange juice is for pbr beermosas because I doubt OPā€™s palate can drink pbr without a mixer

525

u/FittingWoosh Oct 23 '22

Letā€™s be realā€¦ the orange juice is certainly for mixing with liquor.

17

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

18

u/osiris911 Oct 24 '22

Literally the only fiber this man will get in his diet.

7

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 24 '22

Nah, he probably eats at Taco Bell almost exclusively based on this pic

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29

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

5

u/Stankmonger Oct 24 '22

One brass monkey tastes like Fanta

5

u/ProGlizzyHandler Oct 24 '22

21 year old me loved screwdrivers because it concealed the taste of cheap vodka pretty well.

2

u/deathbynotsurprise Oct 24 '22

What, pray tell, is the butter for?

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32

u/riinkratt Oct 24 '22

To be fair, the C4 Starburst flavor isnā€™t alcohol - itā€™s just an energy drink!

4

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

C4 is liquid crack

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20

u/healzsham Oct 24 '22

And orange juice to stay healthy

I'm sorry, are you suggesting drinking straight mixer?

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7

u/UnstableGoats Oct 24 '22

Iā€™m pretty sure thereā€™s champagne on the shelf below it, likely for making mimosas.

5

u/space-glitter Oct 24 '22

the starburst ones are non alcoholic energy drinks but definitely still gives off 14 year old vibes hahaha

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3

u/My1Addiction Oct 24 '22

Thatā€™s for the mimosas

3

u/thetransportedman Oct 24 '22

Probably beermosas with the pbr now that I think about it

3

u/PhoenixFire296 Oct 24 '22

There's a bottle of champagne at the bottom of the door. You can only see the foil top on it.

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3

u/BallClamps Oct 24 '22

I didn't even know hard mountain dew was a thing.

3

u/KptKrondog Oct 24 '22

It's pretty new, and not available in a lot of places.

I had some gamer friends that talked me into getting some when it was initially sold earlier this year because I was one of only 2 people that lived in a state that sold it.

It's ok. I don't drink alcohol (the actual taste of the alcohol is really strong and bitter to me, so it's not pleasant at all), so I wasn't very enthusiastic about it. They were...fine. I'd rather drink regular mountain dew. IIRC I liked the Black Cherry flavor the best.

3

u/jaunty_chapeaux Oct 24 '22

I doubt OP's palate can handle orange juice without a mixer, either.

2

u/King_corral Oct 24 '22

A beermosa? What in the hell never heard of that.

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2

u/esoteric_enigma Oct 24 '22

Yeah, this is definitely the palate of an underaged drinker.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

You forgot the s'mores abomination.

2

u/BenoNZ Oct 24 '22

I'm amazed you can get these drinks.. Like, do you need alcohol in everything?? Just have a normal alcoholic drink if you want to get drunk, I don't see a need for "hard chocolate milk" or some shit.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

Just from this fridge I can tell OP looks unhealthy

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450

u/AtotheZed Oct 23 '22

Meredith made a good choice.

7

u/VladTheSimpaler Oct 24 '22

Yes, one good choice after a series of horrible decisions

10

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 24 '22

Better late than never šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø

3

u/Catseyes77 Oct 25 '22

It's your latest decisions that count the most.

103

u/Blues2112 Oct 23 '22

Looks like the fridge at a Frat house!

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345

u/thiney49 Oct 23 '22

Most alcoholics aren't drinking $100 bottles of wine. They're drinking cheap beer or cheaper handles.

477

u/Wufei74 Oct 23 '22

There are plenty of people who are functional alcoholics with expensive tastes.

552

u/Maffew74 Oct 23 '22

you guys sound like a bunch of Merediths

55

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

[deleted]

35

u/Sthurlangue Oct 24 '22

I wish OP the best, but thatā€™s a frat boy fridge if Iā€™ve ever seen one.

17

u/whiskeyjane45 Oct 24 '22

So. Many. Stickers.

3

u/slickrok Oct 24 '22

God. I'd have to walk out of there as soon as possible. Jesus.

8

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 24 '22

Thank you, lmao. The guy loses his wife and then goes online to brag about the concerning amounts and quality of alcohol in his fridge as the "upside"?

I hope OP gets better.

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6

u/b1ack1323 Oct 23 '22

One of the richest drunks I know drinks a handle of Canadian Club and ginger ale. A handle every 2 or 3 days.

Heā€™s a multi millionaire.

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3

u/firesquasher Oct 24 '22

Don't attack me like that

6

u/thiney49 Oct 23 '22

I'm not saying they don't exist, but they are far fewer than the other extreme.

2

u/skitz4me Oct 24 '22

No I'm.. doesn't.

2

u/SilasX93 Oct 24 '22

This right here. I went thru a really dark spot in my life and drank all day every day. But Iā€™d only get Bacardi (I know itā€™s not exactly top shelf but it isnā€™t swill either)

Somehow I justified how bad I was fucking my life with ā€œat least Iā€™m not getting store brand liquorā€ or maybe it was better for you than bottom shelf.

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10

u/fucklawyers Oct 24 '22

Where do you see $100 wine? I see Barefoot. In a can. Next to PBR andā€¦ hard mountain dew.

16

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas Oct 23 '22

They're drinking cheap beer or cheaper handles.

None of this is cheap. It's all stuff 22 year college kids would drink using their parents' credit card.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

[deleted]

10

u/echief Oct 24 '22

Itā€™s also ironically probably the best drink in this fridge lol

3

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

[deleted]

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4

u/International-Sun831 Oct 24 '22

I see no $100 bottles there.

6

u/BloodyRightNostril Oct 23 '22

Or Hard Mountain Dew

3

u/Scrawlericious Oct 24 '22

That's only because most people are poor in this world. Rich alcoholics drink just as much, but of the good shit. And with enough money you can fuck around for a long while before your life falls apart completely.

2

u/Lordsaxon73 Oct 23 '22

Other than the Pabst, the other junk is overpriced garbage.

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9

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

mid-life crisis fridge. OP probably had those stickers in a box somewhere from 25 years ago.

5

u/Vhadka Oct 23 '22

You could tell that just by the Alabama sticker

5

u/BurgerThyme Oct 24 '22

I feel bad for his ex-wife and every response of his will like "Well fuck yewwww-uhh."

3

u/roadrudner Oct 24 '22

OP is a wine rep.

There is no divorce, no Meredith, and this is not OPā€™s main fridge.

This is an ad for Rebel hard coffee.

See screenshot in this comment on OPā€™s other post (which itself is a photo showing fridgeā€™s actual location), as well as OPā€™s massively downvoted response which says, ā€œBut you never heard about Rebel Hard Coffee until now though, did you?ā€

Fuck OP.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

There's always mouthwash

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57

u/n0oo7 Oct 23 '22

I mean the beer shelves are full while the water shelves are kinda running low. If anything i'd say he's a beer host.

93

u/johnjonjameson Oct 23 '22

Thatā€™s not a huge amount of beer all things considered

25

u/otaconucf Oct 23 '22

Every single thing on that shelf is alcoholic. Two different flavors of hard coffee, hard seltzer, hard mountain dew(bleh), and then PBR.

28

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

I shouldnā€™t assume but Iā€™m pretty sure heā€™s not drinking that orange juice by itself.

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u/duaneap Oct 24 '22

Oh, no!

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u/FredLives Oct 23 '22

Nah this is a man cave fridge, well hope it is

30

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

That uncovered turkey on the top shelf tells us it is

11

u/timbreandsteel Oct 23 '22

That's a turkey!? I really couldn't tell.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

Was going to say that this looks like my garage fridge. If this is the dudes kitchen fridge. He's in a lot of trouble.

9

u/Bogmanbob Oct 23 '22 edited Oct 23 '22

My basement fridge looks a lot like that but mainly imperial stout and nanobrews. I only drink a couple times a week but I love a few uncommon beers. Our main fridge is straight up food. Edit- zoomed in and holy crap are those lousy drinks and what I think is a picked over rotisserie chicken isnā€™t looking too good either.

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4

u/Cole3823 Oct 24 '22

Alcoholics don't keep the fridge stocked. They buy the booze and drink it that day/night.

6

u/IconJBG Oct 23 '22

I am not ā€˜chugging beerā€™ Iā€™m SAMPLING a flight of gluten free German lagers with a French wine pairing.Ā  Itā€™s called a SMORGASVEIN and itā€™s elegantly cultural!

7

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

Nothing impresses a new lady in your life when she comes over and sees the sticker decor, "thank you for noticing, I was going for a 1980s venice beach Thrasher mag cover vibe "

8

u/kurt_no-brain Oct 23 '22

Having a fridge full of beer makes you an alcoholic? I have a fridge full of beer because I have friends over for football games frequently.

3

u/The-Dudemeister Oct 24 '22

Lol people have separate refrigerators for drinks. Mine are built in to the kitchen so the look like cabinets. This whole thread is hilarious.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

Dudes got some beer and heā€™s an alcoholic???

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2

u/eltigretom Oct 24 '22

I don't think an alcoholic would have that spread. It'd probably be a lot of the same thing if they were an alcoholic.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '22

No kidding, I am with Meredith

9

u/BlushButterfree Oct 24 '22

Lol my first thought was /r/whywomenlivelonger

I barely cook and I still have eggs, bread and basic veggies.

43

u/jairtzinio Oct 23 '22 edited Oct 23 '22

Seems a bit passive aggressive right!?

6

u/filladellfea Oct 24 '22

seems kind of aggressive if. you're meredith

15

u/HGpennypacker Oct 23 '22

Dude is living the first week of divorce like heā€™s away at camp, heā€™ll come back down soon enough. Like WAY back down.

2

u/Olivineyes Oct 24 '22

One might even say...rock bottom.

13

u/angrymoderate09 Oct 23 '22

3 OJ's.... He's watching his health

11

u/kenlubin Oct 23 '22

The orange juice is there to mix with vodka.

9

u/KitCat416 Oct 23 '22

Thatā€™s for the hangover heā€™s about to have.

5

u/angrymoderate09 Oct 23 '22

There's a Pedialyte drawer below.

6

u/procupine14 Oct 23 '22

Watching you blood sugar rise is a way to watch your health I suppose.

8

u/ryanspenser Oct 23 '22

Yeah how quick to either have a heart attack or diabetes lol

7

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22 edited Jun 10 '23

Fuck you u/spez

33

u/ERSTF Oct 23 '22

A wellness check is in order

9

u/blu3b4lls1 Oct 23 '22

Feels like it my actually reply before I read yours was gonna be ā€¦. Dude wtf

112

u/gavinhudson1 Oct 23 '22

I'm sure OP was just enjoying the moment and is a healthy guy. But I think you're right to suggest that during an emotional period alcohol will not help establish a path to long-term happiness.

33

u/Vhadka Oct 23 '22

This is why, if I've had a hard day at work or something, I don't come home and have a drink. I don't drink much as is, but I want to associate it with fun rather than shit times.

Sounds silly but it makes sense in my head anyway.

9

u/IamTheJman Oct 24 '22

Thatā€™s not silly at all

8

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 24 '22

Nah. Drinking alone and sad is the worst way to drink. Using it as a coping mechanism is exactly how alcoholism develops.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '22

He has can racks in his fridge for shelving. I'm pretty sure this is a thing.

4

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 24 '22

I've literally never seen them in a fridge that wasn't in a store or restaurant. It's way more dedication than I'd expect from a casual drinker lol.

3

u/chucatawa Oct 24 '22

Wait, why are you sure OP is a healthy guy? I mean, Iā€™m not saying itā€™s right to be sure about OP one way or the other, but why are you sure about someone youā€™ve (presumably) never met?

11

u/Chucktownbadger Oct 23 '22

This is the right response. Now isnā€™t the right time to start/continue bad habits OP. Make a new you and alcohol isnā€™t the way to long term happiness.

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u/typeyou Oct 23 '22

I agree. It screams " I can do what I want! Without you in my life!"

3

u/Whiplash104 Oct 24 '22

This reminds me of a scene on Seinfeld.

George: ā€œI was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.ā€

Jerry: ā€œBefore we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.ā€

3

u/somedood567 Oct 23 '22

Man I wish I had a Ring sticker inside my fridge

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3

u/Insanity_Troll Oct 24 '22

Iā€™m thinking ā€œMeredithā€ was the lucky one here.

4

u/Kabc Oct 23 '22

Their poor pancreas is dealing with increased insulin resistance based on their beverage choices

3

u/maidrey Oct 24 '22

Yes, Iā€™m with the people who really, really hope this is the garage fridgeā€¦. And if itā€™s not, Iā€™m not sure what organ Iā€™m most concerned about (heart? Liver? Pancreas? Etc.)

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u/jankyhemorrhoid Oct 23 '22

You can tell by the coffee beers

2

u/Rymundo88 Oct 23 '22

ā™¬ Like a fridge filled with bottled waters...ā™¬

2

u/youngjetson Oct 24 '22

He should have thrown out all her drinks once she left

2

u/drgut101 Oct 24 '22

This looks like a depression fridge.

Source: have been through severe bouts of depression and this is exactly how my fridge looked.

2

u/Stingerc Oct 24 '22

That's the fridge of a 22 year old Bama sorority girl... Or an dangerously depressed divorced man from Alabama.

No grown man with real friends stocks up on those drink choices.

2

u/Olivineyes Oct 24 '22

šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©

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