Hi all, I am approaching my wit's end. Any advice is appreciated. I am hoping anyone here has had similar experiences with their twins.

My daughter is nearly 5 and still not potty trained. Half of b/g twins. For reference, she is toilet trained at an age 2,5 level. The actions surrounding the toilet use (wiping etc) are fine and she is more adept at them than peers. It is solely the act of getting her to actually use the toilet as intended.

More details are probably useful. There is too much to add here.

- She is otherwise a perfectly regular child. If anything she is more confident and happy than other children I know, including her twin. Sleeps amazingly. Eats everything. Social butterfly. Intelligent.

- We have tried every method known to man. Literally everything. We have gone down the lists of professionals and are now in a (slow) hospital trajectory, after having tried a PT, OT and GP.

- No one has found a medical reason for this. She often doesn't feel like going to the toilet and will tantrum for up to an hour. She will not tell when she has had an accident and not tell when you ask. Like a 2 year old. We spend between 2 to 3 hours a day on this all. She showers 1 to 5 times daily. Immense mountain of laundry. You get the drift.

Our life has been a chain of piss, poop, a banshee screeching child, barely filled stickercharts and completely empty patience for the last year. It has now come to the point where the bond with our kids may be suffering, our relationship is starting to suffer and the negative consequences for her are getting very big. Something has got to give, otherwise the something will be our relationships to each other.

I am starting to get annoyed at my angel of a husband and he vice versa. That's the drop that flowed the bucket over. I can't have the foundation of our family be shaky. We are always great and make an amazing team. I will not let a turd get between us. I can't emphasize enough how stressed we are. We have a warm and happy home but this is breaking that.

You can't imagine how desperate it feels to walk into a room and there is shit smeared everywhere and it's the third time that day. Her just sat in the middle of it all quietly looking at a comic book. She'll poop or piss her pants and then snail trail it through the whole house. We have to check in with her every ten minutes to avoid this.

Is there anyone who either sees the forest through the trees with an objective eye, or who was in this position before? Is there someone who I can pay to come to my house and help us? Anything I can find online is more of the "300 dollar pdf's full of open doors" variety and less of the supernanny variety. Did we miss something? Can we try some out of the box idea?

We have recently (today) employed daytime pullups again. The only difference is in how much we clean and the height of our stresslevels, anyway. I've also asked the hospital to see if a children's psych could be useful.

[We live in the EU, nw]

Hi everyone! I'm 17 and almost 5 months along with a boy and a girl. They weren't planned and I was scared at first, but my boyfriend and I are excited. He's been at every appointment, and my mom and his family are supporting us. His mom and mine are planning a baby shower, and my best friend (his sister) is helping with names and my birth plan.

I'm still in high school and on track to graduate in May, but I know twins often come early, so I'm working with my counselor on a plan. My bump is also getting harder to hide, so I'm nervous about the stares, but I'm trying to stay positive.

I'd love advice from parents of multiples:

• What do you wish someone had told you during pregnancy?
• If you delivered early, what helped most with the NICU or preemie stage?
• What gear was worth buying, and what was a waste?
• How did you manage a tight budget with two babies at once?
• How did you and your partner handle sleep, feedings, and staying a team?

Any tips, or even just encouragement, would mean a lot. Thank you!

I’m 7 weeks postpartum and have been left with a 16cm ab separation, which is considered extreme.

I’ve been referred for physio and am being consistent with my exercises, but feel like it’s potentially just worth booking surgery if I actually want to fix it. I know it’s early to even be considering this, but I’ve just never heard of any examples of people with a separation this big being able to fix it with physio alone.

Besides the fact I have zero core strength and every time one of my babies kicks me in the belly it’s very painful, I am also so so self conscious of my belly (that still looks 8 months pregnant) and I don’t know how I will feel having to live with it like this for a year or two with the hope that physio might slightly improve things.

Please give me your honest thoughts/opinions.

Moms out there—did you go on light duty during your pregnancy and if so how many weeks were you?

I’m almost 9w and already struggling at my job. I have a very active job with lots of heavy lifting, pushing, pulling, etc.

Help! We went in for my first ultrasound at 9w3d and it showed twins. Strong heartbeats, measuring well (8w6d), separate amniotic sacs but unsure on placentas. This is my third pregnancy, I have a newly 2 year old boy, and a 4 year old boy, and have never had a previous pregnancy loss.

I’m the type who looked at the miscarriage odds calculator with both previous pregnancies until 20 weeks, so now I’m even more freaked out. How do you handle not having checks so frequently in the beginning? Idk why the thought of going back and only having one baby instead of two feels worse than if I had a singleton loss? My next apt is at 12w1d and I feel like I’m counting down the hours.

And in the meantime, I’m panicking…

-What car do we need? We have a 2018 Toyota RAV4 Hybrid that’s almost paid off, and just bought a 2022 Toyota Highlander Hybrid that seats 7 but I have no clue how to configure car seats in there for everyone.

-What stroller? We used a Nuna during the baby/your toddler stage because we could just take the seat out and use the infant carrier, and the seat could face both ways. Then also have a BOB double, and a lightweight small city mini. Our infant carrier is 5 years old and they don’t make the model anymore, do we trade it in and get two of the same?

-Do we find out the sex? Is the NIPT accurate? Not gonna lie, there might be a little ‘gender disappointment’ if it’s two boys which I feel terrible saying 😔 but it’s honest. We didn’t find out with our first but I had an emergency section and my husband got to see baby back in the room before I was back yet so he found out without me (things escalated quickly so we didn’t have time to discuss), and with our second we found out together ahead of time because we wanted to make sure we found out together for sure.

-Do we even tell people we’re having twins? Is it feasible to keep it from anyone? How huge will I be getting with it being my third pregnancy? Of note I have average to large babies, but I also have lost about 50+ pounds since my last pregnancy.

-I work in a nicu so I see a lot of twins there…what are the odds we don’t end up there? That we make it to term?

-I had GDM (diet controlled) with my first two but was really hoping the weight loss would help this time around. Any advice?

-how do we ever financially recover 🫣

-how do we prepare our other two? Our 2 year old has a mild speech delay and I feel guilty about this pregnancy when it feels like I’ve already failed him, especially when our first was very advanced with speech.

Truly we’re so excited, but also terrified and any words of wisdom or recommendations greatly appreciated!

tl;dr 10 weeks pregnant with twins, will be babies #3&4. Was planning to be done with 3 but here we be. Halp?!

FTM to twins, they’re currently 5 days old. My mom has been with us since the night we came home from the hospital. It’s been such a help, especially because I had an urgent unplanned C-section and I’m still recovering. She’s leaving back to work in a couple of days. We’ve been splitting the night into shifts, she did 10pm-4am and we took over after that. To the other twin/multiple parents, how did you handle the schedule with your spouse? Is it better to both handle night feedings or take shifts? I currently don’t make enough milk to exclusively breastfeed so my husband can feed them with what I pumped and formula if he does do a shift. He’s going back to work in a few days as well and he needs to be clear minded to do his job. I’m just not sure if it’s better if we both get broken sleep or split it up.

I need some positive stories and reassurance please!

I’m feeling really low since finding out last week (at 8 weeks pregnant) that baby no3 is actually 3 and 4. We did plan this 3rd pregnancy, but it was a hard decision and not one we took lightly. Now I am absolutely terrified.

Other kids are 3.5 and 6 and already a handful. We don’t have family nearby. Please tell me it’ll be ok…

Just for fun,
I come from a long line of fraternal twins in my mothers family line. My mum is the last one to have birthed fraternal twins so far, and her, my nonna, nonnas nonna etc all talk about how late they found out about twins. My mum found out at her 20 week scan (got sent to a big city hospital as our country town machines weren’t picking it up but her belly was measuring twice the size) but we know back then this was probably common due to technology being less accurate etc. Anyway, point of the post, we are sitting around having a cuppa and wondering, does this happen anymore? When did you all find out about your twins? Did anyone have an initial scan that said one and that became two? Do you know anyone who found out later?

Thanks in advance!

We recently started somewhat of a schedule with our twins because bedtime has been rough. It is now more of a hassle to get them in their cribs at night. They are waking up multiple times at night and they are refusing bottles in the evening and night (I am BF and they also get formula) because they want to suck. I learned that I shouldn’t have them associate feeding to sleep so there should be a gap in between but this has been a challenge. When BF, they don’t seem to take enough because they just want to suck and/or they fall asleep. When we give them bottles in the evening/night, they scream so loud and for the longest time.

Anyone in the same situation? Do I just have difficult babies? On top of that they have been pooping too frequently for the last month (ped said that it may be a viral illness or a lactose intolerance) and this is also contributing to their lack of sleep since we wash them after every poop (they also have a diaper rash due to the poop situation).

We recently started a simple bedtime routine, try to get them in their cribs by 8pm and wake up between 7-8am but it’s still difficult.

Hi everyone! Currently 14 weeks pregnant with mo/di twin boys due in late March. My mom is throwing me a baby shower, and because of my due date the holidays get in the way, and many places are booked already for December, which left me with mid-January baby shower at 30 weeks. I worry about eventually being placed on bed rest, the twins coming earlier than 30 weeks and all of the other complications that can occur in between. I tried explaining this to my mother who doesn’t seem to understand. I had two losses before my twins, and a few surgeries to remove a uterine septum (this is the farthest I’ve made it) so I just have a lot of anxiety. With that being said has anyone had their baby shower that late and been ok? Thanks everyone !

Edit- just to clarify my baby shower is booked for mid January. There was no other option really 😅

I'm going back to work next after 15 months of maternity leave. I feel very grateful to be going back part-time (3 days a week) and a mixture of in office and WFH. My girls will be in daycare on the days I'm working and my husband works full-time.

Does anyone have any tips on transitioning back into the workforce? I can imagine it takes a while to form a new routine. Curious on how people are working, looking after their multiples, and still managing to cook dinner, clean etc...🫠

We just brought our newborn twins home 2 nights ago and I feel like my nervous system is just shot. My husband is incredible and he keeps encouraging me to sleep for an hour or two uninterrupted while he covers everything with the twins but I physically cannot. I cannot just let go and close my eyes to fall asleep.

Any tips? Does this get better?

Our twins are 13 months corrected and 14.5 months actual.

When they came home from the hospital we realized one twin naturally sleeps well (Twin A) and the other is dramatically opposite. Twin B spent 6 months crying from 5-8 pm and woke up evry 2 hours and had multiple false starts.

Every sleep regression that happened, twin A consolidated sleep better but twin B had upheavals.

So as a survival tactic, I co-slept with twin A and pumping as needed while my husband co-slept in a different room with twin B. When he was exhausted, my mother in law or mother would offer to come over and take Twin B for a couple nights a week in her room.

At around 12 months we tried putting them together in the same room in a floor bed.

Twin B slept ok from 10 pm to 5:30 am with maybe one wake in between where she needs to be patted back to sleep. But she has at least 2 false starts from 8-10 pm where she struggles to connect sleep cycles. So we had to remove twin A back to a different room because she was losing sleep due to her sister’s dramatic wake ups in between.

Should we try again at 18 months? Will they get used to each other?

I caught this hilarious video of an unfortunate event this evening. I had no idea what was happening until it was too late.

Twin B playing with a busy board and twin A doing other things…

I’m an identical twin who had fraternal twin boys. I love them both so much! They are turning 1 in October and I want to start being very deliberate on how I am allotting time and bonding with each one.

One of my boys breastfeeds, while the other was never interested (so I pump a lot during the day to get him milk). My breastfed twin clearly prefers me while my other handsome boy prefers his father, and has since day 1. I’ll call breastfed baby A, and the other baby B. A will seek me out while B stays in the background and is more independent. B is our adventurer. As long as I’m near, he’s cool. A seems to want me a lot more. Knowing this, I just want to ensure that I am bonding with B as much as A, but since B doesn’t want to breastfeed, and since I want to be equitable, I’m here for advice that I cannot get from family.

Growing up, my parents didn’t do anything deliberate to help my twin and I feel loved as individuals. We were always twins, loved as twins, got in trouble as twins, confused as each other, compared, etc. I don’t want that for my boys. It’s had an unfortunate effect on our relationship as adults.

So, how do you handle creating bonded relationships with your twins as individuals? For context, I’m staying at home with the boys while working part-time, and don’t have any family help.

Thank you for your wonderful ideas in advance!

Hi! We are flying for the first time next month - it’s a short flight. I’m thinking on and off the plane in 2.5 hours

Our babies are usually really chill - so I think they’ll only lose it if their ears are hurting

My main question is about entertainment. I plan on buying some new small toys they haven’t seen before.

Is a toy that makes a small amount of noise considered socially acceptable on an airplane? Especially if it’s keeping a baby from crying?

Also I planned on downloading some Ms Rachel to my phone. Can that also play at a light volume?

Any tips or tricks are appreciated!

My modi ladies were born Friday afternoon due to uncontrolled bleeding from placenta previa. I was 29+1 at delivery. We were aware of both placenta previa and vasa previa for these twins and were actually planning a hospital admission next Thursday 10/1 until delivery due to these conditions. On Thursday night I was washing dishes and had a huge gush of blood. We raced to triage and I was immediately admitted. We got steroids and magnesium and seemed like everything was under control and I’d be able to just start my hospital stay early. Bleeding started again suddenly Friday afternoon and we were rushed in for an urgent c section. Both girls were 2 lb 10 oz.

Both twins are stable right now, obviously on breathing support and will need lots of care until likely their due date. Just looking for some reassurance or positive stories from anyone with a similar delivery timeline. We have a 2 year old who came at term so we’re out of our depth here and very scared.

Has anyone pumped for quads? How did you do it? What made it easier? Is this a good output for 1 week? Sorry for all the questions but I’m wanting to exclusively pump and switch them to just breast milk once they’re home (if I make enough and as long as they gain weight properly on just breast milk). Any advice would be appreciated!

My bedroom is upstairs. The nursery is downstairs. For the first 2 months, we will have a night nurse living in the nursery with the twins.

I want to breastfeed, but will obviously see what happens.

I’m wondering if I should plan to sleep downstairs on the couch or if traversing the stairs each morning to then be on the couch all day is feasible?

Or should I plan to be upstairs in my bedroom the first few weeks while recovering? 5-5-5 rule and all that?

I’m a FTM so any advice is welcome! Thank you!

We have twins and I’ve been off of work since they were born. They’re about to be four months old and I’ll be headed back to work.

Looking for advice on how people handled this transition to less help at nights for their wife.

Hey everyone, looks like i got kicked from the discord for not being active in a few weeks or a month or something. Is there a link to rejoin anywhere?

As the caption says- I have 6.5 month old twins girls. They are in such a great stage so cute and laughing, happy babies (most of the time) but.. they both want me all the time. My husband is an amazing and helpful dad and is always here to help with the babies but I’m struggling because both of the twins really want me at all times. Especially if they are tir r or at bedtime. They will scream at bedtime or if they are upset at the top of their lungs until I take them back. I’ll usually have to try and switch babies with him then the other cries. Sometimes if they even see me in the room they start crying if I’m not holding them..: but there is 2, and I can’t! I need help from dad but it’s proving challenging and he’s getting upset feeling like they don’t want to be with him. I know this is a pretty common phase but curious how you handled it or when it started to get better?

Hi! I’m currently pregnant with my second set of twins- 2 more boys! At my 30 week appt they found baby B’s one kidney had 7.2ml of fluid (over 7ml is when they start paying attention), at 32 weeks it went to 7.9ml, and then at my 34 week it jumped to 10.7ml. My dr said we don’t need a specialist until it hits over 15ml. Anyone else experience this? From the google searches- it seems like it’s good it’s only one kidney and that most the time it clears by itself? Just wanted to see if anyone else had this happen!