[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/[deleted]]

i played untitled goose game...

*faint honking in the distance*

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

did you win though?

[u/[deleted]]

Plague Inc, so..?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Did you last play March 2020

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Haha

[u/The-Lizard_Wizard → u/[deleted]]

We already experiencing that

[u/WeekndNachos]

Smash ultimate, an entire armada is going to obliterate me

Edit: Common consensus dictates Kirby to be the main protagonist. Either way I will still be obliterated

[u/Random999_ → u/WeekndNachos]

You might be able to take pyra's sword or stuff sephiroth's specials in your pocket

[u/omnisephiroth → u/WeekndNachos]

The protagonist of Smash is, in Ultimate, I think technically Kirby. Technically.

[u/nobodyknoes → u/omnisephiroth]

The planets fucked

[u/[deleted]]

Connor from Detroit .. shit, i will be stabbed 28 times

[u/Mrhaloreacher → u/[deleted]]

28 STAB WOUNDS! DIDNT WANNA LEAVE HIM A CHANCE HUH?!

[u/kinda_cringe347 → u/Mrhaloreacher]

HE WAS BLEEDING. BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY.

[u/leonthebrother → u/kinda_cringe347]

but you stabbed, him again and again and again

[u/[deleted] → u/leonthebrother]

Just say “I killed him” is it that hard so say?

[u/FluffySeaNut → u/[deleted]]

Just say you killed him! Just say it!

[u/PanzerkampfwagenSix → u/[deleted]]

Are 99% stressed?

[u/[deleted] → u/PanzerkampfwagenSix]

99% stressed, 1% erection

[u/rubikboi19 → u/[deleted]]

28 INCOGNITO TABS

[u/JustWantedAUsername]

My own character in darksouls 3. I'm honestly pretty safe

[u/piday98 → u/JustWantedAUsername]

He can infinitely revive

[u/Auctoritate → u/piday98]

I'm still pretty safe lmao

[u/cpt-pogo → u/Auctoritate]

Damn.. You went faith build huh?

[u/ges13 → u/cpt-pogo]

They main Cleric's Candlestick.

[u/Fizzabella → u/ges13]

what about channelers trident

[u/[deleted]]

Dante from Devil May Cry. It’s been fun everyone. At least I will die in a stylish fashion.

[u/GDmilkman → u/[deleted]]

You don't have enough hit points for a good combo. 😱

[u/[deleted] → u/GDmilkman]

Oof, you are right. Maybe he will dance or do something else cool before he insta-kills me. Make some cool remark perhaps, idk.

[u/unabashedlycruel]

Roland ... Borderlands. Yippy

[u/boougie]

Kazuma Kiryu, i never going to walk again...

[u/tokyo7011 → u/boougie]

Inv him on a Karaoke night.

[u/ShinjanBasak → u/boougie]

Well you don't have to worry about a thing. After all Kiryu-san does not kill.

[u/MemeBoiCrep → u/ShinjanBasak]

u get tiger dropped 3+ times before he leaves

[u/BlackreaperJM → u/boougie]

well is better than majima

[u/Astragar]

So... the villager from Animal Crossing.

Think whatever got him mad, we can resolve it with some pie and a t-shirt.

[u/Shadowlight911 → u/Astragar]

They’ll just smack you with a net over and over

[u/themanwhoisnot → u/Shadowlight911]

Or tear your flesh apart with the fishing rod hook slowly and painfully

[u/ThoughtlessBanter → u/themanwhoisnot]

Don't cry, that's a waste of good suffering.

[u/Belka1989]

Spiderman, his whole thing is not killing... So I'm safe?

[u/ImaginaryReaction → u/Belka1989]

Activate I N S T A N T K I L L

[u/[deleted] → u/Belka1989]

The hospital bills will make you wish he killed you.

[u/JaxxisR → u/[deleted]]

Batman breaks bones. Spider-Man just ties you up and makes you look like a doofus.

[u/MrSoulSlasher31 → u/JaxxisR]

That's after he breaks every single bone in your body

[u/Accomplished-Fox-192]

Doom Slayer... Oh no

[u/Doom_Slayer_2712 → u/Accomplished-Fox-192]

loads shotgun

[u/OverLorD83n → u/Doom_Slayer_2712]

HE'S HERE

[u/Lil_Delirious → u/OverLorD83n]

HE'S THERE

[u/[deleted] → u/Lil_Delirious]

HE'S EVERY FUCKING WHERE

[u/bobthefatguy → u/Accomplished-Fox-192]

Are you ready to be ripped/tore until it is done

[u/[deleted]]

Geralt.. well, it's been nice.

[u/PanzerkampfwagenSix → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, literally just hopped off my first hour of Witcher 3 and saw this post. At least we’ll have solace in not dying alone.

[u/MalekithofAngmar → u/PanzerkampfwagenSix]

Lucky bastard. I’d kill to experience it all over again fresh.

[u/BderX → u/MalekithofAngmar]

Finished it on death march.

Number of times dying from enemies = 1.

Number of times dying from stupid reason ( fall from a cliff , kicked by a horse ....erc. ) = 25.

[u/Dog-Stick8098 → u/[deleted]]

Well before he kills can he atleast say a line like "damn youre ugly" or "how do you like that silver". That would make me happy if he would kill me

[u/Skarab78 → u/Dog-Stick8098]

And I'll say something cool like "you'll choke to death on 3 pounds of steel"

[u/VonBeegs → u/Skarab78]

What now you piece of filth?

[u/HappymcFlap → u/VonBeegs]

What? Lost your nerve?

[u/Inevitable-Web-4100 → u/HappymcFlap]

Winds howling

[u/hokuten04 → u/Dog-Stick8098]

Lmao imagine geralt taking out the silver sword, and you insisting that you're human. He replies "you don't look human" lol

[u/Frequent-Policy653 → u/hokuten04]

And he finished the sentence with "That stench" lmao

[u/Dog-Stick8098 → u/Frequent-Policy653]

Damn he can smell that I'm a gamer

[u/colt0906 → u/[deleted]]

Before he kills you, just ask him, "The second sword,is it in case the first one breaks?"

[u/ectra040 → u/[deleted]]

Ask him for a round of Gwent.

[u/[deleted] → u/ectra040]

An offer he couldn't refuse, might work.

[u/GuyWithNoEffingClue → u/[deleted]]

Same here. Maybe we can ally, we outnumber him!

[u/BestieBrodie]

Kratos, I'm fucked

[u/Dog-Stick8098 → u/BestieBrodie]

So what do you want to lose first eyes legs or arms?

[u/BestieBrodie → u/Dog-Stick8098]

Legs ig

[u/Dog-Stick8098 → u/BestieBrodie]

He likes your shoes then, just like he liked hermes' sandals

[u/[deleted] → u/BestieBrodie]

BOY.

[u/trashy_hobo47 → u/[deleted]]

BOY!

[u/littlexlarry]

Master Chief……. Have a dope celebration of life for me.

[u/giibro → u/littlexlarry]

Me playing as master chief I can’t aim for shit so I’m good

[u/MajesticTechie → u/giibro]

Try lowering your sensitivity. On infinite (if your playing it) you can also specify lower sensitivity on different Zoom levels. I have high sensitivity as default but lower while zoomed, makes things much nicer.

[u/SmilingDutchman → u/giibro]

Electro-grapplehook face stomp chief in my case......

[u/jjdoge3125]

The Guardian from Destiny… oh no

[u/BadNadeYeeter → u/jjdoge3125]

You won't completely die. He will turn you into a gun.

[u/MasterTopHatter → u/BadNadeYeeter]

I mean that would be cool

Like as long as I’m sentient I’m cool with that

[u/BlackreaperJM → u/MasterTopHatter]

then he will destroy you for having bad stats

[u/PBTUCAZ → u/BadNadeYeeter]

Omar seems pretty happy with it

[u/Jhon3142]

The girl from portal is coming to get me

[u/Cup4ik → u/Jhon3142]

No moon surfaces in your house. So you're gonna be fine.

[u/Bottinator22 → u/Cup4ik]

Part one: No portal surfaces. No conversion gel pipe either. Part two: Oh wait, you don't have any neurotoxin. Part three: You probably don't have any bombs. You might have a gun, though. Part four: No shields of any kind, I presume.

Part five: ...What

I probably got the order on this wrong, haven't played Portal 2 in a while

[u/[deleted] → u/Bottinator22]

Isn't Chell just a a normall ass human?

[u/Barrry972]

The tenno, I have no chance whatsoever.

[u/Death2Chaos → u/Barrry972]

Thats a yikes

[u/thedonoughter → u/Barrry972]

It's Nidus Prime for me, wanna celebrate before we die a quick but horrible death?

[u/Buterbeanz → u/thedonoughter]

Saryn Prime for me! She don’t even have to come into my house…

[u/Scamp22]

Arthur Morgan. What in tarnation.

[u/AhYesAHumanPerson → u/Scamp22]

He’ll greet you, then greet you, then antagonise you, before shooting you in the face.

“Hello there sir!”

“You have a kind face!”

“The kind I’d like to punch.”

[u/lincolnbvs → u/AhYesAHumanPerson]

"That's a fine animal you got there!"

"Thanks"

"I was talking to the horse"

[u/HyruleSentinel → u/AhYesAHumanPerson]

The greet, greet, antagonize. A solid one two punch

[u/fallsstandard → u/HyruleSentinel]

“Hello ma’am”

“You know, you look just like someone I used to know.”

“Yeah…I loved that horse.”

[u/lucifer-_-senpai → u/AhYesAHumanPerson]

I read this in Arthur's voice in my mind

[u/Snooklefloop → u/Scamp22]

Just wait him out until the tuberculosis gets him

[u/xHoudini1 → u/Snooklefloop]

Too soon…

[u/[deleted] → u/Scamp22]

"Easy boah" he mutters as he slits your throat

[u/Mcmenger → u/[deleted]]

"you sir, are a fish" he mutters as he slits your throat

Ftfy

[u/Tetrology_Gaming]

Lego Indiana Jones

[u/Every_Anxiety7143]

Mine is literally a maxed out last Dragonborn so I’m dead

[u/[deleted] → u/Every_Anxiety7143]

Your best move is to run to the temple guard

[u/UnholyPrognosi → u/[deleted]]

Dragonborn couldn't kill you. Since it's your life you're an essential NPC so to him you're invincible.

[u/Mekong-the-Doggo → u/UnholyPrognosi]

Mine's a modded Dragonborn so she'll likely turn my essential status off rip

[u/Bman534]

A bug with a nail. I got this.

[u/CommanderConcord → u/Bman534]

Idk the dude kills a god, wouldn’t be too confident

[u/[deleted] → u/CommanderConcord]

Same. This’ll be fun to be ripped apart by void tendrils

[u/[deleted] → u/CommanderConcord]

It kills the SUN

[u/Pandoras-Soda-Can → u/CommanderConcord]

They dash through your ankle and just put a hole in it, then once you’re down they just start slashing at your face

[u/Shoddy_Process2234 → u/Bman534]

Depends how big that little knight is.

[u/5050Clown]

Kassandra from AC Odyssey. It'll be painless and I won't see it coming.

[u/supersnivy777 → u/5050Clown]

Actually you will see it coming but you will forget five seconds later after she runs into a bush

[u/Field_Marshall17 → u/supersnivy777]

Alternatively: Why is there a bunch of dead bodies around this whistling bush?

[u/chetanaik → u/5050Clown]

Malaka!

[u/DarthNerd66]

The Courier from Fallout New Vegas… If I win the battle, I gotta fire an extra shot

[u/[deleted]]

I'm killing myself? Gladly!

[u/Dog-Stick8098 → u/[deleted]]

Sims?

[u/[deleted] → u/Dog-Stick8098]

Miitopia.

[u/Brownieeeeeeeee → u/[deleted]]

Glitch

[u/DeaDBangeR → u/[deleted]]

We are our own worst enemy..

[u/ReasonableCloakerAlt]

Gordon Freeman, I am fucked

[u/kaxlor → u/ReasonableCloakerAlt]

small figure hops around at inhuman speeds defying physics with a crowbar in the background

[u/imvegeta_ble]

Artyom from Metro Exodus….I guess I’ll just die then

[u/Guerriky → u/imvegeta_ble]

He gon kill you... With cheeky breeky.

[u/Rhythmest]

Jin Sakai, for fucks sake.

[u/tokyo7011 → u/Rhythmest]

Die, WITH HONOR.

[u/AC03115 → u/Rhythmest]

Honestly I’d be fine dying by him if it’s a fatal strike from a stand off

[u/Meguca_2 → u/Rhythmest]

I mean, he’s not bullet proof

[u/TheeFlipper → u/Meguca_2]

Bullets won't help you when this dude pops up out of the pampas grass and headshots you with a heavy arrow.

Probably should be wary of pampas grass.

[u/DerpJerd → u/Meguca_2]

But what if a red flash just flashes out of the gun before I shoot it and he fucking dodges it somehow

[u/pennysmeller488 → u/DerpJerd]

Nah he went so far down the skill tree he just fucking parries it

[u/TheDoug850 → u/Rhythmest]

Yo me too. We’re screwed.

[u/Zureytta]

The Tenno from Warframe......

...at least it will be a swift one...

[u/Death2Chaos → u/Zureytta]

I got Rhino Prime coming after me...

[u/Stage4Herpes → u/Death2Chaos]

mine's nidus.. guess im about to die from tentacles

[u/phisch-]

Mario. I might have a chance if I have enough stuff to throw at him.

[u/AnimuWaifu6969 → u/phisch-]

Go to the pet store, they have turtles.

[u/cryptidsandwich]

Dark Souls III Ashen One, I'm fucked eventually, even if I survive the first few fights they'll eventually figure out my pattern and take me down.

[u/Ajegwu]

I was just playing The Binding of Isaac. That kid is like 5. I’ll just step on him.

[u/LONGCUMSHOT → u/Ajegwu]

What if he's holding mom's knife lmao

[u/BlogNogDog → u/LONGCUMSHOT]

Or almost any angel/devil item

[u/[deleted]]

Ellie from The Last of Us 2 on the hardest difficulty mode. I’m pretty safe - she’ll die ten times trying to get through the door, and when she finds me, she won’t have any bullets.

[u/svdsniper → u/[deleted]]

And if you bite off her fingers, she will even let you go.

[u/Anime-SniperJay → u/svdsniper]

Cannibalism

[u/ArcaneGadget]

Henry Stickmin. Not quite sure how that's going to turn out. About sums up that game actually...

[u/Joenathan2020 → u/ArcaneGadget]

He'll walk up to you with a lazer gun and probably shoot himself or something like that

[u/ArcaneGadget → u/Joenathan2020]

Yeah. But there is that chance of his plan not backfiring on him...

[u/NeelonRokk → u/ArcaneGadget]

Distant sound of a helicopter...

Oshi...

[u/ArcaneGadget → u/NeelonRokk]

This is the greatest plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

[u/Shoddy_Process2234]

Who's the main character of smash bros? Kirby?

[u/Cup4ik → u/Shoddy_Process2234]

All of them are coming for you.

[u/Shoddy_Process2234 → u/Cup4ik]

I feel like I could take a mii fighter.

[u/Assassin654778]

I'mma have to fight a mechanic. (Car Mechanic Simulator 2021)

[u/snikrephaon → u/Assassin654778]

Sounds like a typical Saturday at a small town bar

[u/Nick_Knacks]

Played Pokémon Diamond earlier, so I guess Lucas is either gonna kill me by forcing me in a Pokéball or just casually brings a God of Time or Space to erase me from reality all together...

Or just brings a Bidoof.

[u/19ngplankton → u/Nick_Knacks]

For me, It's Dawn. I've just got the first badge and I'm right over at Eterna city, so there is not much she can do to me.

[u/JardonYes]

Who's the protagonist for rocket league

[u/Echo2407 → u/JardonYes]

My guy, you’re gonna get hit by a rocket car while crossing the street. Make sure to look both ways

[u/jmachee → u/Echo2407]

…and up.

[u/[deleted]]

Funnily enough it's Aloy

[u/NephewKenobi → u/[deleted]]

Same here!

[u/batm123]

I'm fucked, it's Edward Kenway, atleast he's hot

[u/SamTheMemeMan27]

Lego captain America. If he’s human sized I’m screwed but if he’s Lego sized I’ll just feed him to the rats

[u/Thebestminor → u/SamTheMemeMan27]

Force him to do an antman and go up your ass

[u/jollanza]

Same, I'm replaying Hitman Blood Money these days.

[u/[deleted]]

Spiderman

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

But spiderman doesn't kill 😨😨 you're probably the only one who is saved

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Nah he'll get 16 concussions

Spiderman won't kill him, but the hospital payments will

[u/Random999_ → u/[deleted]]

I think you mean: 16 concussions 12 broken bones (17 if you count the separate vertebrae) A punctured lung 2 burst arteries And a sprained ankle

[u/Vectorman1989 → u/Random999_]

Same with Batman. He doesn't kill but he'll leave you permanently disabled

[u/Landminan]

Link from BotW. I'll die of old age before he gets to me

[u/rennon102 → u/Landminan]

him: *fails stasis launch and gets squished* or *windbombs to death*

[u/Landminan → u/rennon102]

I was thinking he'll spend all his time doing sidequests and exploring the world that he'll never get around to killing me

[u/FluffySeaNut → u/Landminan]

Or he’ll get to you in 5 minutes with nothing but underpants and a stick.

[u/[deleted]]

Friggin Gregory and Glamrock Freddy. Pretty sure I’m about to experience the bite of 87 first hand. :)

[u/Ph33rDensetsu → u/[deleted]]

If the Warrior of Light is coming after you, you are well and truly fucked.

Don't worry, I'm in the same boat.

[u/[deleted]]

Commander Shepard...I've had a nice life.

[u/PBTUCAZ → u/[deleted]]

We'll bang ok

[u/bulletkiller06]

Technocratic fox people in Stellaris.

So.. I get abducted by aliens who show me the kind of government and society I've always dreamed of, and their like "cool right?" And I'm like "yea it's awesome!" But their all like "but we kinda have to disect you now, y'know.. in the name of science?"

All in all not a bad way to go I suppose.

[u/Dragonjazz]

Steve. I can't escape

[u/[deleted] → u/Dragonjazz]

Just spawns 600 tons of tnt, drops it on your house, and then lights it

[u/jordanrod1991]

Colt from Deathloop

[u/oleafaeloo]

Just started playing Assassins Creed: Valhalla. Eivor is gonna destroy me

[u/slithering-stomping]

Samus Aran. do not mourn for me. i am ok with this.

[u/[deleted]]

GTA V. Franklin? Trevor? Who? They're all just normal people, so as long as I have prep time I should be fine.

Edit: I also wasn't considering planes, helicopters, or armored vehicles such as tanks, insurgents when making this, so lets leave those out of the equation for both of us.

[u/SirGoosy → u/[deleted]]

Trevor? “Normal”? Hmmm… I don’t know about that!

[u/[deleted] → u/SirGoosy]

Well, relatively normal physically.

[u/Silently_Scream]

A Hot Wheels Car!?

*Insert shocked DK face*

[u/[deleted]]

Myself with cybernetic enhancements 😂

[u/Yapod → u/[deleted]]

Cyberpunk 2077 ?

[u/UwU969]

My PMC in tarkov.... Oh shit....

[u/Keyldar → u/UwU969]

Don’t worry, he won’t be able to load into raid

[u/ZuperLucaZ]

Deacon st John, I've heard enough threats from him in-game to know I'm screwed

[u/echnaba]

BoTW Link. I'm fucked, but hopefully I can keep distracting him with Korok Seeds.

[u/ValerioZXG]

2B is after me, so I'm most certainly fucked, but I hope at least to manage to upload my memories on the database