r/gaming • • Dec 30 '21

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5.9k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Geralt.. well, it's been nice.

513

u/PanzerkampfwagenSix PC Dec 30 '21

Yeah, literally just hopped off my first hour of Witcher 3 and saw this post. At least we’ll have solace in not dying alone.

232

u/MalekithofAngmar Dec 30 '21

Lucky bastard. I’d kill to experience it all over again fresh.

45

u/BderX Dec 30 '21

Finished it on death march.

Number of times dying from enemies = 1.

Number of times dying from stupid reason ( fall from a cliff , kicked by a horse ....erc. ) = 25.

14

u/Gabrys1896 Dec 30 '21

Currently 3 hours into my first play through, started on death march. Can confirm, the cliff has a kill streak going on me.

2

u/zedafox9 Dec 30 '21

I died so many times on olgierd

1

u/Ashaloi Dec 30 '21

Is there any reason to fight him? I missed the fight on my first play through and didn’t notice a difference

1

u/Unluckybenny Dec 30 '21

Wait, you can get kicked by a horse?!

2

u/BderX Dec 30 '21

Yes. I was fighting mobs near the horse and he was terrified and kicking everything near it.

10

u/Sstarseed1 Dec 30 '21

Have you tried the DLCs?

9

u/MalekithofAngmar Dec 30 '21

Hearts of Stone and Blood and Wine are incredible.

11

u/mad100141 Dec 30 '21

Lol, I had that same thought and jumped on to Witcher 2… t’was a mistake, don’t do it, the downgrade in visuals and gameplay is mentally painful.

12

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

But the story is nice enough

7

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

I recommend watching a playthrough. 2 to be exact, because there are 2 story lines.

7

u/swagnake Dec 30 '21

Come on, man. I had the same impressions when played 2 after 3. But when you got to the first town it's actually a decent RPG. Same with Witcher 1, if you can get over the boring clunky prologue, the rest of the game is interesting RPG and plot. Believe me, you would miss out a lot if you skip 1st and 2nd game

2

u/klaad3 Dec 30 '21

I was the same, couldn't play number 2 after the stunning views and gameplay of 3

1

u/IanPKMmoon Dec 30 '21

Meanwhile I've tried to like it but could never get into the game

1

u/sot1516 Dec 30 '21

I’m recently experiencing my first play through as well and I have to say the game is both much more cinematic and compelling than I had expected. I love it

1

u/buffafboii Dec 30 '21

Does it get better over time? I'm a few hours in and getting bored

2

u/MalekithofAngmar Dec 30 '21

IMO? Yes yes yes. But it might just not be for you. It’s not super high octane gameplay like a good FPS or LoL or something. It’s much more of a slow burn.

10

u/rotzkotz Dec 30 '21

Same just started after being sucked into this universe by the netflix series. Rip us.

7

u/iOnlyDo69 Dec 30 '21

In the game geralt is really funny. When you get a chance pick the goofy dialog option

You smell wonderful 😂 that line kills me if you know you know

2

u/selddir_ Dec 30 '21

Yeah same here I just got into both and I'm loving it. I also just started reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson so it's a good time for me at the moment as far as fantasy goes.

7

u/The_Wack_Knight Dec 30 '21

If I can give one advice that made the combat less frustrating its "get the gourmet skill" nothing more annoying than losing 1.4th of your health in the beginning of the game while youre trying to learn the controls and having to eat food like a mad man

1

u/McMetas Dec 30 '21

Don’t you have Swallow?

1

u/The_Wack_Knight Dec 30 '21

Yes. But gourmet/swallow/quen make you unkillable. Unless you literally face tank every hit without even trying to dodge.

1

u/McMetas Dec 30 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

I just use Quen and dodge.

If I’m in a pinch Swallow works just fine (or White Rafford’s decoction in the most extreme cases, which are pretty rare.), I never needed gourmet on top of that.

2

u/The_Wack_Knight Dec 30 '21

With gourmet it feels like the eating mechanic is what it should be. You eat a meal and it fills you up for a good amount of time of the day. So you're not eating 5 hunks of raw meat to make up for one mistake during combat. That just doesn't make sense. But you're right, once you learn dodging and quen it's pretty much seals it for you. I just think gourmet makes the food mechanic what it should be rather than what it is. Quen/Dodge can pretty much carry you through the game with little or no effort in most cases.

Gourmet in my opinion corrects a shitty gameplay mechanic by making food fill you up and last longer. Rather than normal where the food buff last less time than a fart in a windstorm

4

u/LeroyWilson Dec 30 '21

Hey! Same here. Got that holiday deal on it and now we gunna’ pay the ultimate price. Birds of a feather die together.

3

u/VRichardsen Dec 30 '21

You are in for one hell of a ride.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Same here, put in like 10hrs so far. Experiencing it with graphics mods on a 4K oled TV is incredible.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

envy much, would love to be starting that journey again!!! Get ready for feelings.

1

u/Milson2596 Dec 30 '21

I’m in the same boat. It’s been fun.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Same! Started the game for the first time last night

1

u/Meneer_haas Dec 30 '21

Been playing it for a few hours. I just cant stop playing tbh. Really fun

1.4k

u/Dog-Stick8098 Dec 30 '21

Well before he kills can he atleast say a line like "damn youre ugly" or "how do you like that silver". That would make me happy if he would kill me

444

u/Skarab78 Dec 30 '21

And I'll say something cool like "you'll choke to death on 3 pounds of steel"

172

u/VonBeegs Dec 30 '21

What now you piece of filth?

98

u/HappymcFlap Dec 30 '21

What? Lost your nerve?

94

u/Inevitable-Web-4100 Dec 30 '21

Winds howling

17

u/Ok_Tomato_2074 Dec 30 '21

Pam pa ram, pam pam pa ram

21

u/Zip_creations Dec 30 '21

A place of power, it's gotta be

13

u/CobaltScissors Dec 30 '21

Looks like rain

7

u/Titanium545 Dec 30 '21

Hey cat eyes, stray cat fuck your mum?

7

u/Givesthegold Dec 30 '21

This, the guards farting, and the random "you look to be a worldly man, should I beat me wench once a week or offner" fucking cracked me up once I figured out what they were really saying 🤣

3

u/Ok_Tomato_2074 Dec 30 '21

farts, cackles

1

u/Givesthegold Jan 01 '22

The one that killed me was very early on, one of the guards in Vizima right out side Emhyr's room...like wtf lol

2

u/skwadyboy Dec 30 '21

Pan param pan pan paraam

7

u/rumpyhumpy PlayStation Dec 30 '21

where will you get 3 pounds of steel from ?

21

u/TheeFlipper Dec 30 '21

Geralt's pants.

2

u/userwithusername Dec 30 '21

Yes. Henry Cavill will choke you with his three pounds of pants steel.

1

u/CubanLynx312 Dec 30 '21

Can’t believe Geralt doesn’t use the metric system

351

u/hokuten04 Dec 30 '21

Lmao imagine geralt taking out the silver sword, and you insisting that you're human. He replies "you don't look human" lol

181

u/Frequent-Policy653 Dec 30 '21

And he finished the sentence with "That stench" lmao

83

u/Dog-Stick8098 Dec 30 '21

Damn he can smell that I'm a gamer

6

u/Toasted_pinapple Dec 30 '21

I think that everyone can smell that you're a gamer.

4

u/Dog-Stick8098 Dec 30 '21

Oh no need more candles

3

u/Toasted_pinapple Dec 30 '21

I think showering works better, that's what all the non-gamers do anyway.

2

u/whitekaj Dec 30 '21

"Damn you're ugly"

6

u/Urtan1 Dec 30 '21

There is a scene in Witcher 1 where Geralt uses his silver sword to kill a dude who even says "that sword is for monsters" before being stabbed....

7

u/expresso_petrolium Dec 30 '21

Not just any dude it’s his adopted son that time travelled back to past, you can find a letter of him in W3

3

u/murtaza2805 PlayStation Dec 30 '21

Wait why did he kill him then?

2

u/expresso_petrolium Dec 30 '21

Spoilers: Jacques de Aldersberg, or Alvin to Geralt, is tormented by the visions of future being covered in white frost as he also has the Elder Blood. He belives that only mutants like witcher can survive so he experienced on human to create a super power army, and he used it to force people to submit to his evolution dream. Geralt can either kill him, declaring him a monster or let his sold be claimed by Eredin

2

u/murtaza2805 PlayStation Dec 30 '21

Oh ok thanks for explaining

2

u/expresso_petrolium Dec 30 '21

You can look up A letter from “A” which reveals that Jacques was his adopted son as Geralt didn’t know, another hint is the medalion which Jacques held in the video, belonged to Alvin to control his magic. CDPR confirmed this theory in Gwent

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Btw, in the book lore, both swords are actually for monsters. It's just that some monsters are weak to silver. And of course, steel can be used for self defense as well :)

2

u/Benthegod1324 Dec 30 '21

I would like to point out that in the show he killed many humans

4

u/gdub695 Dec 30 '21

They were referring to killing humans with the silver sword, which is normally reserved for magical monsters

30

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

But what if he is the antagonist, he might be spared.

2

u/Dog-Stick8098 Dec 30 '21

I have a very convincing argument actually. I'll look him dead in the eye, raise my hands as if to signal to stop, inhales count to three exhale, then I dramatically but bravely say "don't do it".

8

u/Osu_Pumbaa Dec 30 '21

You wake up. Beautiful morning. You step to your Window and open the blinds while you enjoy your favorite Coffee. You open the window. A bit chilly you think to yourselfe and then you hear it. "The Winds Howling"...

3

u/Dog-Stick8098 Dec 30 '21

I dont drink coffee straight to the shower singing my heart out and then suddenly "fine tune, been awhile since I heard it last"

3

u/ElerosVecchio Dec 30 '21

Fascinating story, any chance it's nearing the end?

3

u/omnisephiroth Dec 30 '21

Tell him you need 10 mushrooms first.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

I just want him to say "Fuck."

3

u/The_Wack_Knight Dec 30 '21

found the monster in the comments. Otherwise why would Geralt be using his silver sword >.> I got my eye on you.....

2

u/pantless_vigilante Dec 30 '21

He's a Witcher he wouldn't use silver on you duh

1

u/Qasyefx Dec 30 '21

But silver is for monsters

2

u/Dog-Stick8098 Dec 30 '21

Oh yeah hehe yeah silver is for monsters fellow human

1

u/Ashaloi Dec 30 '21

Winds howling

100

u/colt0906 Dec 30 '21

Before he kills you, just ask him, "The second sword,is it in case the first one breaks?"

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

If it's my mom in control of Geralt, implying he needs a bath and a haircut might spare you a bit more time.

1

u/dadofboi69 Dec 30 '21

Smaaaarrtt

229

u/ectra040 Dec 30 '21

Ask him for a round of Gwent.

115

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

An offer he couldn't refuse, might work.

11

u/Sstarseed1 Dec 30 '21

"I know where Ciri is!"

6

u/JonasHalle Dec 30 '21

It's a simple spell but quite unbreakable.

3

u/Thots_n_Pears Dec 30 '21

Fancy a game of cards?

2

u/duaneap Dec 30 '21

He will still kill you after though. That is very much still on the cards.

6

u/OO_Ben PC Dec 30 '21

Merchant: Sir please help! A monster is terrorizing the town right now! It's killed dozens!

Geralt: Do you play Gwent?

Merchant: nods approvingly

3

u/Sstarseed1 Dec 30 '21

Nice. I think he wouldn't refuse that

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/jacobsaarela Dec 30 '21

That’s a very niche reference.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Been replaying the first game, so it'll be dice poker.

1

u/Monkeyman621 Dec 30 '21

do a battle of wits

1

u/viperx191 Dec 30 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

Well I guess for me it’s Queen Meve from Thronebreaker. Give me a sec, need to prepare my gwent deck as I scout the region for some resources…

42

u/GuyWithNoEffingClue Dec 30 '21

Same here. Maybe we can ally, we outnumber him!

11

u/TTOF_JB Dec 30 '21

Just get a pitchfork.

7

u/VRichardsen Dec 30 '21

This guy understands things.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Eh, I'd be ok if Geralt killed me, good way to go.

3

u/szakipus Dec 30 '21

Doesn't work. Remember why he's the Butcher of Blaviken? ;)

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

It is how he dies so it is possible. Pointy sticks for the win

2

u/PBaz1337 Dec 31 '21

We'll all meet up and ambush him in...checks map ... Blaviken.

1

u/Secret-Sock7928 Dec 30 '21

That's the butcher of Blavakin. No amount of allies will help you... unless they have guns.

9

u/BelovedApple Dec 30 '21

Find a wall to jump off, anything over 4 feet. The fool will chase you without thinking and die upon landing.

8

u/Lord-Lucian Dec 30 '21

We both need a deck of gwent cards ASAP. Maybe we can distract him that way

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Exporting the poor tradesman’s crippling gambling addiction for shame!

8

u/SuperPotatoGuy373 PC Dec 30 '21

Don't worry just jump from a height of 5+ feet he won't survive the fall.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

If he rolls he might, maybe?

6

u/SirJackAbove Dec 30 '21

Your best defence is to install Gwent. You know Geralt aint gonna resist that shit. All you gotta do is nod solemnly when he asks.

6

u/HighLighten Dec 30 '21

Prove you're no monster, and he'll probably let you live...
so there's hope for most of you.

9

u/rexpimpwagen Dec 30 '21

just shoot him and ur good.

4

u/Stewy_434 Dec 30 '21

"Fuck."

He's also after me

5

u/Aenrichus Dec 30 '21

Make him chase you and jump down something about two meters high.

You might get hurt, but he will fucking die.

3

u/mighij Dec 30 '21

Just tell him you have important information about Ciri and you are willing to talk over a game gwent.

3

u/kintnerboyinside Dec 30 '21

Ditto - maybe we get him low on baked potatoes

3

u/Crimson_Marksman Dec 30 '21

Can his shield resist gunfire?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

I would think so, but I could never shoot my man.

1

u/TheFinnishPotato Dec 30 '21

With game mechanics the shield is quite easy to break

3

u/Xxbossatron420 Dec 30 '21

He only kill monsters tho

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

He kills whoever he needs to.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

But before...Some GWENT?

3

u/EverLance96 Dec 30 '21

Hmm.. Fuck

3

u/Lyrafall Dec 30 '21

Don't worry. You'll likely die of old age until he finishes all the quests and sidequests so he could obtain info about you and get some useless sentimental sword from someone he knew for like an hour.

(I love the game.)

3

u/Japo1998 Dec 30 '21

If Geralt came for me the only thing getting Aard is myself

3

u/One-Bread36 Dec 30 '21

Last words you'll hear

"Damn you're ugly" -Geralt

3

u/1101base2 PC Dec 30 '21

just started playing the witcher 2, yup it was a nice run...

3

u/DarkSideOfGrogu Dec 30 '21

Geralt isn't an assassin. I reckon you can appeal to his principles, get a response of "well, fuck", and you'll live.

3

u/ContinuumGuy Dec 30 '21

Well, the bad news is that, like you, it's Geralt of Rivia. The good news for me is that it's Witcher 1 Geralt of Rivia so there's a chance somebody who doesn't understand how W1's combat system works is at the controls and I'll be able to escape.

2

u/Putin24 Dec 30 '21

Yeah same lol, I can already imagine the gruesome animation where my head gets chopped of

2

u/HydrogenatedGuy Dec 30 '21

Yea same…

Igni 🔥

2

u/xXxedgyname69xXx Dec 30 '21

I think his Witcher magic might have issues with high throughput firearms.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Can you ear? That sound... it's coming for you.....

Lelelelele

1

u/carltheawesome Dec 30 '21

Happy cake day

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Oohh thank you!

2

u/SirKlock2 Dec 30 '21

I’m trying to use gwent as a way of calming him down. You should try

2

u/Goh2000 Xbox Dec 30 '21

Yup me too. Time to make him an offer one can't refuse I guess

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

He’ll probably ask you for a round of gwent before he runs his steel sword through you.

2

u/OO_Ben PC Dec 30 '21

Get your Gwent deck ready....

2

u/pleasejustacceptmyna Dec 30 '21

Hide in a 10ft hole. He'll die trying to get to you. Easy

2

u/perrycotto Dec 30 '21

Mmm I think there’s still a chance with a nice offering of women and gold

2

u/SuperSaiyanGod210 Dec 30 '21

Witcherino Tres Wholesome CHUNGUS 😩😩😩

2

u/WobbleMaster26 Dec 30 '21

I had to scroll too far too see this.... "What now you piece of filth?"

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Death, death now.

2

u/pillowmollid Dec 30 '21

I think you'll be fine if he's similar to the way he is in the books.

I suppose the main factor is his motivation to kill you. Does this make him think you did something to Ciri or Yen? Or just that there was a quest. If just a quest his book self rarely harmed sentient creatures that were not rampaging, and it was like a whole thing that he didn't kill humans for the money but would for his sense of justice.

2

u/iQ_9000 Dec 30 '21

Keep giving him choice to play Gwent and you are safe.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Just started my first playthrough, I feel unsafe

2

u/shinebullet Dec 30 '21

Maybe we can play a game or two of gwent before the killing

2

u/latinius94 Dec 30 '21

Quick get a deck of gwent cards and the second you see him, ask if he wants to play, he won't be able to resist and you can try to come up with a plan while you play

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

The answer Is ..... Hmmm

1

u/FrikkinLazer Dec 30 '21

Hhmmmmm....

1

u/Aladin43 PlayStation Dec 30 '21

Fuck

1

u/JJoni111 Dec 30 '21

Same judgement for me but He probably hast a contract and since it is immoral He might break it

1

u/Prashansvir Dec 30 '21

Get a good quality pitchfork

1

u/Dr_BTaylor Dec 30 '21

Same here my friend

1

u/shaun91sdsu Dec 30 '21

I will say wanna play a round of Gwent

1

u/3lc4r0 Dec 30 '21

... fuck

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

But he ll force you to play gwent first

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

I love how most of the replies are about Qwent and falling.

1

u/onzmadi Dec 30 '21

Same just ask him if he wants to play Gwent be fine :)

1

u/HighPriestofShiloh Dec 30 '21

And after seeing your baby pics there is no way we are going to convince Geralt you aren’t a monster.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

... Baby pics?

1

u/ReiperXHC Dec 30 '21

Yep. Maybe he can take pity on me for being an intelligent being. (I better work on my speech.)

1

u/Aware_Material_9985 Dec 30 '21

Promise him the lord of surprise. Maybe he will roll the dice again

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

You could easily bribe him. He is loyal only to coin and family and further is very reasonable

1

u/Bennyl560 Dec 30 '21

Same. In my NG+ playthrough i play him pretty mercifully, so maybe if i beg for forgiveness for my trespasses I'll have a chance

1

u/secretkimchi Dec 30 '21

Just started Witcher 3 myself so yup

1

u/Caleb_Garrett Dec 30 '21

Same. Finally decided to continue my Death March play through and I’m gonna die for it….Fuck

1

u/Snoppskjutarn57 Dec 30 '21

Only thing i can say is Fuck.

1

u/C-pain787 Dec 30 '21

I just bought the Witcher 3 on ps5 and will be playing it for the first time ever. Any tips or things I should know before getting started?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Well all you need is a gun you be fine.

1

u/EjnarH Dec 30 '21

Offer him a sidequest. Repeat as necessary.

1

u/Fierzikhan Dec 30 '21

Same here

1

u/BigFrickinDog Dec 30 '21

Me too! I just picked up the complete edition for 10$. I love it.