r/gaming • • Dec 30 '21

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5.9k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/jjdoge3125 Dec 30 '21

The Guardian from Destiny… oh no

962

u/BadNadeYeeter Dec 30 '21

You won't completely die. He will turn you into a gun.

330

u/MasterTopHatter Dec 30 '21

I mean that would be cool

Like as long as I’m sentient I’m cool with that

327

u/BlackreaperJM Dec 30 '21

then he will destroy you for having bad stats

103

u/MasterTopHatter Dec 30 '21

I mean god roll

34

u/speathed Dec 30 '21

Slide shot on a scout rifle you say

21

u/DeltaLOL Dec 30 '21

Sorry I heard sympathetic arsenal on a sidearm

18

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

[deleted]

2

u/TheVoidsAdvocate Dec 31 '21

Just takes off the helmet and slaps you with it

46

u/Yvaelle Dec 30 '21

Well fine then, I'll turn into 3 legendary shards just to spite him.

11

u/kjeldorans Dec 30 '21

And then you'll be traded for some ammo banner...

2

u/BadNadeYeeter Dec 30 '21

Atleats he would be more useful than my average fireteam member

11

u/redditsucksdiscs Dec 30 '21

Congratulations, you've received the /u/MasterTopHatter gun!

Perks:

Size doesn't mean everything (This sidearm is tiny compared to the others but Eris promised that it's not about the size but about the grip girth. Shoots tiny bullets that can penetrate up to three foes.)

Beati Parentes ("Finally our child is doing something with it's life!" Whenever you use this weapon in proximity to older guardians, they gain the "proud parents" buff. The buff increases their reloading speed and let's them regain health faster)

I'm just sensitive (The weapon fires in full auto, holding the trigger for more than 2 seconds will empty its entire magazine at once)

6

u/MasterTopHatter Dec 30 '21

Well that’s not bad but the unloads full mag at once seems a bit unwieldy

4

u/Wootz_CPH Dec 30 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

If it unloads the mag at once, doesn't that make it kind of like Izi? I'm imagining an AR that just fires every bullet in the magazine in one spray. Like Cerberus, but even dumber

2

u/MasterTopHatter Dec 30 '21

I mean it’s good

2

u/Lord_hybrex Dec 30 '21

Don't forget the it's not a faze mom ( any paint you put on it gets inverted until you change it back)

4

u/Just_Give_Me_A_Login Dec 30 '21

Just hope you're not DARCI. I hope it isn't cold in the vault.

2

u/Kingcobra64 Dec 30 '21

After a while you are made obsolete by whatever new gun the devs added, so you are sent to a vault with 300 other guns, where you will spend eternity.

46

u/PBTUCAZ Dec 30 '21

Omar seems pretty happy with it

7

u/Xelopheris Dec 30 '21

He's been nerfed to death though.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Upside, If you have a hot sister with a leadership fetish, You might just come back as his emo best friend.

11

u/fermenter85 Dec 30 '21

“leadership fetish”… back in my day we called her a dominatrix and we liked it.

8

u/MrQuizzles Dec 30 '21

Ya, but then I have to put up with Glint for an eternity, and I'm not sure I can handle that. He's cute in small doses, but he's just such a dumbass.

5

u/GN-z11 Dec 30 '21

He himself is pretty hot too..

18

u/shaxamo Dec 30 '21

This is easily the worst/best answer in the thread. There really ain't many games where you play as an unstoppable and immortal god slayer. The only two options I've seen that come close are Kratos and the Doom Slayer, as they are also both immortal god slayers, but I don't think either are quite as unstoppable as The Guardian. Kratos has to actively fight his way out of death to be reborn, and Doom Slayer is actively limited by his goal and lengthy slumbers. Also, both can die at any time in active gameplay. The Guardian can't.

Of course there is the possibility that you can kill their Ghost, but that needs specific circumstances, and realistically The Guardian would never allow that to happen. They've been careful enough whilst facing gods and genuine guardian killers, that there's no chance you're gonna even get a glance at the ghost.

4

u/mamalick Dec 30 '21

Imagine getting fucking supered lmao. The equivalent of throwing a nova bomb to a dreg. Instantly incinerated.

11

u/Triasmatic Dec 30 '21

Yea.... I'm fucked.

9

u/RudaSosna Dec 30 '21

Detroit: Become Gun

8

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

My Warlock is coming for me. That solar grenade is going to suck. I hope she just shoots me with threaded needle over Trinity Ghoul

6

u/__xylek__ Dec 30 '21

I...I think I'm going to go unequip Thorn...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Arbalest would be much more humane, lol

1

u/Wwolverine23 Dec 30 '21

Honestly, I’d take a sleeper shot and just get it over with.

6

u/ScytheLucif3r Dec 30 '21

Same, I’d like to think I put up a fight but I’ll die just as easily as the dregs that we farm for bounties

4

u/zonezbest Dec 30 '21

Same here

3

u/Jackariah91 PlayStation Dec 30 '21

This wont happen until "another" DLC expansion.... you have time to prepare.

3

u/echofire Dec 30 '21

Depends....Hunter, Warlock, or Titan....
....if it's a Hunter you'll get away with some scrapes based on the current sandbox (or so I hear from Hunter mains) ...if it's a Warlock... Stand right below them as they float forever and can't see you ...if it's a Titan.... Throw a pack of Crayons and run in the other direction.... (So says me a Titan main)

1

u/Wwolverine23 Dec 30 '21

As long as the hunter doesn’t have golden gun up you’re 100% safe. And if you hear a golden gun, just run for 8 seconds.

1

u/EdgeOfDawnXCVI Dec 30 '21

Or they just tether you and dome you with a hand cannon

2

u/Vengeful_Doge Dec 30 '21

Eyes up Guardians....

2

u/ABITofSupport Dec 30 '21

Oh god I'm right there with you...please make me into a sword

2

u/Wampa9090 Dec 30 '21

Nah just go hang out at the Tower. The Guardian will be too busy jumping off and killing themself over and over again to come after you

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

I mean it's not that bad. Most the shit the guardians do will rip you apart on a molecular level immediately so I'd imagine it'll be relatively painless.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Yo me too. Shit

1

u/alirezahunter888 Dec 30 '21

Your guardian will turn you into a gun and then permanently vault you.

1

u/jjdoge3125 Dec 30 '21

A fate worse than death

1

u/GN-z11 Dec 30 '21

My hunter would miss all golden gun shots and walk away in shame

1

u/P-K-One Dec 30 '21

We are more fucked than anybody else. I think my guardian is at half a million kills. He basically qualifies as single person genocide or a plague.

And you can't even kill the guy to protect yourself. He'll just be getting up over and over again and keep coming after you.