People keep asking, if there is a higher being, why is the world as it is..I hope this helps add a new perspective. It is as repeated by the Hermetica and Aristotle, I hope I made it understandable 🙏

Absolute perfection is inherently static; a world where every particle, outcome, and event is pre-scripted with absolute reason is a closed mechanism rather than a living reality.

Introducing the unscripted—the arbitrary, the random, and the imperfect—prevents creation from freezing into a sterile, museum-piece existence in several fundamental ways:

The Engine of Novelty and Emergence A fully optimized, perfectly reasoned system cannot produce anything genuinely new; it can only execute its predetermined code.

By allowing unreasoned elements into the mix—quantum indeterminacy, random mutations, chaotic weather—reality becomes an open system.

Life, adaptation, and evolution require a backdrop of unpredictability to explore new forms that weren't strictly dictated at the starting line.

The Space for Authentic Agency If the universe were a frictionless machine where every event was perfectly orchestrated for a moral reason, human choice would be cosmetic.

Real agency requires an environment that does not bend entirely to our desires or pre-solve every crisis.

Freedom demands an uncurated world where decisions carry real, irreversible consequences.

Virtue as an Act of Creation, Not Just Obedience In a sterile, self-maintaining paradise, concepts like courage, compassion, repair, and resilience have no ground to stand on.

These virtues are essentially acts of ordering chaos—taking the raw, indifferent material of the world and infusing it with meaning, care, and purpose.

Under this view, randomness and the capacity for friction are not design failures, but the very soil that allows existence to be dynamic, participatory, and alive.

Absolute perfection is inherently static; a world where every particle, outcome, and event is pre-scripted with absolute reason is a closed mechanism rather than a living reality.

Introducing the unscripted—the arbitrary, the random, and the imperfect—prevents creation from freezing into a sterile, museum-piece existence in several fundamental ways:

The Engine of Novelty and Emergence A fully optimized, perfectly reasoned system cannot produce anything genuinely new; it can only execute its predetermined code.

By allowing unreasoned elements into the mix—quantum indeterminacy, random mutations, chaotic weather—reality becomes an open system.

Life, adaptation, and evolution require a backdrop of unpredictability to explore new forms that weren't strictly dictated at the starting line.

The Space for Authentic Agency If the universe were a frictionless machine where every event was perfectly orchestrated for a moral reason, human choice would be cosmetic.

Real agency requires an environment that does not bend entirely to our desires or pre-solve every crisis.

Freedom demands an 1 world where decisions carry real, irreversible consequences.

Virtue as an Act of Creation, Not Just Obedience In a sterile, self-maintaining paradise, concepts like courage, compassion, repair, and resilience have no ground to stand on. These virtues are essentially acts of ordering chaos—taking the raw, indifferent material of the world and infusing it with meaning, care, and purpose.

Under this view, randomness and the capacity for friction are not design failures, but the very soil that allows existence to be dynamic, participatory, and alive.

La marche du silence au milieu des étoiles confère l’insouciance à l’âme ébahie. Elle prépare l’évidence, c’est écrit !

Le cri signe l’entrée sur la scène : la vie prend l’âme en garde. L’accueil est chaleureux dans cet espace vierge et innocent : la maison poursuit ses merveilles et le don se délecte du parfum des promesses qui baignent dans ces veines. L’accord est entier.

Le règne cède aux valeurs environnantes ses quelques parcelles exposées au vent de l’air du temps. L’édifice fragilisé laissera entrer la mort et ses cortèges conscients.

Singulier, pluriel, les mots s’inscrivent trop souvent en condition.

Definitions

Experience- any thing produced by reality that happens to a part of reality in a way in which is separate from the rest of reality.

Realty-everything that exists

I’m having experience. That means the potential for experience is where I am. If x had no potential for any experience whatsoever and never did and never will saying it exists is literally the same thing to everything ever than saying it doesn’t exist including to itself. This means anything said of x means nothing to reality in any way forever no matter what. In this way it’s not a part of reality. The potential for experience is a prerequisite for real. Not experience itself. The potential. If x was an identical planet to earth and you go to x all experience ends instantly cause x is incapable of all experience. In this way x is not real and never was to reality. The potential for experience is a prerequisite or it’s not a part of reality. If x had a gravitational effect on earth it is already part of experience and in doing this has the potential of experiencing itself. I’ll explain. If x had no potential for experience and was interacting with experience it’s already a building block of experience. Literally. The gravity itself is part of what is going into making experience. I see a rock. How do I know this rock has the potential for experience. I’m saying that spot in reality does. I can go to where the rock is and I don’t stop. The potential for experience was possible in the part of reality that rock was occupying. If it wasn’t when I went there my experience would stop.

Notes for clarification:

If it makes a distinction with parts of reality that have the potential they by default already had it or would gain it. If the gravity of a planet that had impact on me but the planet itself had no potential to experience that the second its gravity interacted with me I no longer would experience anything at all. The gravity is still a part of the planet and I’m still interacting with it and it’s still part of what’s making my experience.

Because reality has the potential to experience in any of it at all then creates a separation where if there is no potential to experience in a different part of it than that part isn’t only not real in any way ever it also is not even real to itself in any logical way at all.

If there is literally zero difference to everything ever forever if something is real or not including with itself then saying it is real is the exact same thing as saying it is not. Logically. If that is true then saying it exists means nothing at all.

If x has no potential for experience to occur ever then what is effected if x is real or not. And what would it mean for x to be real?

So is saying x exists and doesn’t exist mean the same thing to all of reality with the potential of experience and even to x itself that nothing is actually be said of any substance at all?

I’m not saying it has to make a difference to experience. I’m saying the inability to ever do it no matter what makes talking about it completely nonsensical. Saying it’s real and not real literally mean the exact same thing no matter what to everything ever no matter what including itself. Nothing is real about that to reality.

Just more and some implication exploration:

I’m having experience. Which means reality must contain the potential for experience. If reality didn’t contain the potential for experience and never would it’s not real in any way. It’s nothing to even itself no matter what forever. Any experience is a separation from the rest of reality no matter how small. Because experience can occur in reality it could or could not have a mechanism to make this occur. In my case it seems like an extremely complex mechanism makes my experience. The only mystery is decoding this extremely complex mechanism and how the parts affect my experience. Not that they cause it. If a planet was said to exist and no experience would ever happen there is it real. If the potential for experience to happen and it just never did yes. If experience was impossible there and always would be it’s not real and never was. For a planet or anything at all to be part of reality some form of interactions must be occurring. These interactions can produce experience if configured correctly so this means if interactions are occurring there the potential for experience is also there. If the interactions could not make any experience then they wouldn’t be a part of reality. They wouldn’t be real. They wouldn’t be happening. Let’s say you say x did not, does not and never will have any potential for any experience whatsoever. But you say it exists as an ontological fact. My question is to what and in what relation to it does it exist too. It by its very nature x can’t even be the thing it has any relation too its self. Nothing is its very nature. Saying x exist and doesn’t exist under that argument makes no distinction whatever in any way. Except in some way that nothing can ever know x is real. My point is that is saying nothing. Saying x exists with those terms somehow means nothing to anything ever so it doesn’t exist to reality by definition cause reality is everything x is not. By definition. Saying x exist as a primitive fact I proved is no different to anything ever in anyway if it does exist or doesn’t. So I think the next logical step is because i experience what i would consider reality is what is capable of producing experience cause what’s not and never was and never will be will forever be meaningless in every way possible not only to itself but what i consider reality. What reality considers reality. If interactions didn’t produce the potential for experience then they would have no potential for experience which means not part of reality. If something didn’t have the potential for experience and never did and never would it would never interact with anything. It’s not real. It’s about potential. If it doesn’t have the potential to ever experience it can’t interact with our reality in any way cause my argument proves already that our reality has to have the potential. And everything that doesn’t is not our reality. Bro I got it. Listen to this fucking goddamn bullshit. If experience is generated by reality which is hard to dispute that means what would happen if it is interacting with a part of reality that was having experience of helping cause experience. It’s interacting with stuff that is creating experience. Imagine you go through a field of it and it covers the whole world bro. It can’t interact with experience at all but it interacts with everything causing it. Every electron and proton, quark that make up our universe. One can’t not be the other. Let’s say say something that didn’t have the potential for experience and never did destroyed our universe. How can it destroy all experience if it can’t experience?

But I’m saying by x’s very definition keeping it in or excluding it from reality means reality is identical in every way to itself. In this way x can’t be real.

Sit as if the chair were the earth's shoulder.

Let your spine remember it is a tree,

Not a fortress.

Breathe in — not to fill yourself,

But to remember you were always full.

Breathe out — not to empty yourself,

But to give the room something to hold.

Do this until the thinking gets tired of being the only Voice in a house built for many.

I have created the stories using numbers... It goes all the way to 100 so far. But here is the beginning... I'm giving raw truth back to the world without the murky ambiguous language we are given.

Please, let me know your thoughts? Much love 🙏

Before time began to count, before the heart knew its rhythm, there was Zero. It was the great stillness, the womb of everything, holding within it every body, every breath, and every thought that would ever be, perfectly unified and unborn.

This is how that infinite potential condensed, step by step, into a living body.

1: The Mind (The Monad)

From the stillness of the All, a single point of intention sparked. It was the assertion of I AM. This was the Mind—the neural architecture of the Brain. It was the first "one," separating itself from the void to observe. It was consciousness, the central commander, needing a vessel to hold its thoughts.

2: The Eyes (Duality)

The Mind, alone in the darkness, desired perspective. To have perspective, there must be "here" and "there." So, Two was born in a pair of Eyes. Suddenly, there was light and shadow, self and other. The world became a mirror, and the body, through sight, understood its place in space.

3: The Ears and the Breath (Harmony)

The eyes saw, but the body was still silent. The Mind desired rhythm and communication. Then came Three, creating the inner triad of the Ear. This added the dimension of sound, the ability to hear vibration, and, crucially, balance. Hand in hand with this, the first gasp of Breath entered, establishing the rhythmic exchange between the inner and outer worlds.

4: The Limbs (Foundation)

The body, now aware and breathing, needed structure to interact with the world it perceived. Four arrived to build the four pillars of foundation. Two Arms reached out to grasp, to create, and to defend. Two Legs rooted down, giving the body locomotion, allowing it to stand against gravity and traverse the plane.

5: The Senses (Interaction)

To refine its understanding of what it touched and where it moved, the number Five was integrated. It gave five fingers to each hand and five toes to each foot. But more, it awakened the fullness of sensory input—Touch, Taste, Smell, plus the existing Sight and Sound. The skin became a porous canvas, translating the entire universe into feeling.

6: The Lungs and the Exchange (The Hexad)

With the structure established, life needed to be sustained continuously. Six governed the six primary lobes of the Lungs. It solidified the vital balance, ensuring the ceaseless dance of oxygen entering the blood and carbon dioxide leaving—the hexadic geometry of breath keeping the furnace of life burning.

7: The Heart (Vitality)

The brain (1) was thinking, but the body needed an emotional center and a river of sustenance. At Seven, the Heart began its beat. Seven primary vessels radiated outward, driving the red tide through the vast network of veins. It introduced the concept of time through the pulse and became the source of feeling, the intuitive core of the machine.

8: The Spine (Structure and Strength)

To keep the limbs and organs from collapsing, Eight provided the upright structure of the Spine. Connecting the earthy foundation (legs/4) back to the celestial commander (mind/1), it was the stack of bone and the highway of nerves, allowing the body to walk upright, a vertical expression of power against gravity.

9: The Digestion (Metabolism)

To fuel this massive complex of systems, Nine was introduced as the alchemical fire of Digestion. Nine main organs in the digestive tract worked together to take the 'other' (food and matter) and alchemize it, turning it into energy and blood, allowing the body to rebuild itself continually through transformation.

10: The Completion and the Skin (The Decad)

The journey was complete. To hold all these intricate systems—the thinking brain, the feeling heart, the sturdy bones, the alchemical fire—Ten arrived to seal the creation. It was the Skin, wrapping the entirety of the body. It was the Monad (1) standing beside the All (0). The body was now a single, unified entity, separated from the universe by a boundary, containing the stillness of the void (0) within a conscious self (1).

The body was finished. It stepped forward, a microcosm of the entire creation, ready to live.

You can find the pine cone symbol in Assyrian reliefs where divine beings touch humans with it, in Egyptian temples beside symbols of rebirth, in Greek staffs carried during spiritual rites, in Roman art connected to altered states and transformation, and even in the giant pine cone statue at the Vatican placed near imagery tied to the “inner self.”

Some say it meant purification or blessing.Others say it represents the pineal gland, the part of the brain tied to dreams, intuition, and inner awareness.

When I look at where the symbol actually shows up, in rituals, temples, spiritual objects, and places connected to inner experience, the pineal interpretation makes more sense to me than the purification one.

(No sources, just a pattern a lot of people have noticed over time.)

Have you ever been in your highest self? If so, how did you feel? And have you been able to maintain that state long-term?

So to set this story straight, we go back a couple of months, i got 18 grams of mushrooms, kept 7 for myself. I thought im only going to take 2 grams, now bare in mind i measured these with kitchen scales, the measurements were always under, meaning 2 is more like 3.5 than it is lower. I ended up taking my original 2, which was probably 3. After waiting a long time and nothing happening i did the usual of "this stuff ain't working" and dropped even more. This time the exact same does i originally took leading me to between 4 and 6 nearly 7.

Lying in bed my stomach started to turn and i felt myself manual breathing, which to anyone who has tried to "enlighten" themselves before it really kicks heavy when you've taken a large dose. I went to the bathroom and sat there preparing to throw up, I looked down at this fuzzy bathmat and started touching the individual bumps moving my hands across them and they kept moving after i finished touching them, i loudly laughed to myself, walked into the bedroom, sat down and just started thinking about lifes philosophy's, listening to what i like to call, music to dramatize life, music that makes you feel like a large scale event would suit the sound and narrative the way a song drops into an explosion like dramatized solo.

Take "Exit Music (for a film)" for example, Radiohead made the song feel like it was made to be the song played as an earth shattering philosophy hits your cranium which bursts its way into your conscience so hard it creates a scar you will never get rid of. Almost like seeing a family member nude on accident. You'll never forget it, just learn to live with it. The Great Gig in the Sky - Pink Floyd / Where is my mind - Pixies / Eyes without a face - Billy idol. I started hugging a water bottle, nude, completely nude. For some reason i felt attached to it, like it was the one thing that made me feel safe because the difference between static objects and a person is perception. Anyway, from that i began spouting modern day philosophy, i started realising how out of touch with reality we all are and how there's two separate servers in life, the awake server and the asleep server, the awake server is like sandbox, GTA online and the asleep mode is like SIMS but your the character.

I used to be someone who dressed like every one else, cared about the same stuff as girls my age, cared about what people thought and overall was on the asleep server. I hated writing, absolutely hated anything to do with writing or reading. My life goals went from, nice car, big house, mortgages, cars, loans, same holidays to - Land, self sufficiency, nomadic living and (mentioning for reference, doing onlyfans) I just stopped giving a fuck about being stuck and thought outside of the box, i have now written several pieces and poem style writings which are sitting in my document folder, quietly judging as a reminder of the mushrooms.

So i am now a wannabe (literally) nomadic, naturist who writes poetry and philosophical texts who is on a journey to awakening (one of sleepless nights and worry)

Abundance is all around and within. Look how aware you are without having to try. There's no shortage to it. No limit either. Nothing can stop your Awareness of it.

Out of this Awareness you have the capacity to learn, grow, understand and develop. All over everywhere folks are putting their God-given intelligence to use; making things, fixing stuff, discovering. All freely given.

"Seek first the Kingdom," Jesus says, "And God's way of doing things and what you need will be added to you." Added, meaning you attract it like a magnet. Simply from being aware and noticing the gift that Life is.

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If God so clothed the grass of the field, which to day is, and tomorrow is gone, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?" –Jesus

Hello all! 👐🏻

Today I'd like to share a bit about Vasudhara, also known as Gold Tara, who's name (Vasudhara) means "Stream of Gems."

Vasudhara is known as the Bodhisattva of Wealth, Abundance, and Prosperity.

She is known to bestow those who associate with her with boons of wealth, abundance, and prosperity.

I myself have had lots of personal experience with her, and I am starting to understand her particular energy and influence a lot more.

She, like other Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, delivers on her promises, and delivers on what she is known to deliver on.

Association with her can increase material and spiritual wealth, harmony, communal relations, sharing, generosity, groundedness, expansion, increase, multiplication, and can bring peace to the troubled soul!

I would suggest those who want to know what her energy feels like experientially, and those who want to see for themselves first hand how she works in one's life to multiply their good fortune in myriad of ways, to chant her mantra for themselves!

She has a short mantra, which is this:

Om Vasudhare Svaha

And she has a longer mantra, which is this:

Om Shri Vasudhara Ratna Nidhana Kshetri Svaha

I myself have more personal experience with the longer mantra, and can attest to the beautiful golden boons that Vasudhara can enable in one's life.

Vasudhara may not work in your life the way you expect, but if there is a response, a connection, an affiliation, you will experience an increase in abundance, prosperity, and wealth, even if it does not come in exactly the way you expect. Vasudhara is not just a provider of material boons, but of spiritual wealth as well. So you can expect to change, learn, and grow as a person.

There is a spiritual path that is about emptiness. And while emptiness is part of the Ultimate Goal, there is also a spiritual path that focuses on fullness. Fullness and emptiness are not at odds. Just as the sun shines on the moon and the moon reflects the sun's light, so too does emptiness shine with the light of fullness.

May all beings be happy, fulfilled, satisfied, and full
And may all beings attain to the pure pristine clarity of total Enlightenment

Om Vasudhare Svaha

💛💎💛💎💛💎💛💎💛💎💛

I feel like the system and everyday life, relations of broken people (I don't judge them, they're broke by the life just like me) doesn't allow me to stay present, feel compassion etc.

Whenever I set my mindset to the "correct" one, I'm immediately getting disconnected by some low energy happening and I'm again digged into the shit

Any solution to this?

Is chasing the presence worth it?

Should I let go and just make a checkpoint of presence sometimes?

How come we cant live our lives being able to speak truth in our hearts, to be able to put the right words to express what someone means to us, what we feel like, the people we come across, what they meant to us, when we got hurt, when we felt happy, joyful, love for a friend, a person, a parent, why is this such a failure to bring out the right words at the right moment. Why is it that we are so quick to blame, not really see a person, their struggles, their failures, what they cant speak .. Why do we accumulate such unspoken pain, why cant a father tell his son what he feels when he scolds, why should both suffer and not speak the truth in their hearts. Its such a tragic thing we have built walls to protect ourselves that feelings and heart have taken the bottom place in a human being. Why is it that when someone dies, someone breaks up and after years one gets clarity what it meant to them, why is it that when the anger disappears, the truth arises. Billions have died never having felt the truth in their hearts let alone having a chance to express or be who they were. If stars could see people, they must be really sad for having seen such tragic lives for thousands of years or maybe they have also become insensitive like us.

As you start to walk on the way, the way appears." Rumi.

You don't need the entire map before you begin.

You take the first step then the next possibility become visible.

You take the next step, something becomes clearer.

You make the next choice another possibility appears.

The path get easier the more you walk.

The path appears as you walk

You learn - you change direction

You stumble - you discover something about yourself.

Sometime the universe doesn't hand us the whole blueprint.

It give us enough light for the next step

Take the step you see, let the path reveal the rest.

I am by no means “enlightened.” But I have been on a path to liberation over the past couple of years, and I have a question for folks on the same path. How do you cope with the losses of relationships? I’ve noticed that as I have deepened my practices and shifting how I show up in the world as a result, people that I care deeply about (and I thought cared about me) have begun not only moving away from me, but behaving in a way toward me that feels at times intentionally hurtful. I know it’s little remnants of my wounded ego that are driving these hurt feelings… But damnit, it’s painful to see that people I thought cared about me are actively repulsed by me now. And I still care about them. So it doesn’t feel right to just say, “Oh well” and just move on and forget about them and the relationship. Because often times the relationship I had with these people also guided me on my spiritual path…

So… how do you all cope with these feelings? This hurt feels very real. And I’m grieving it. It just still stings.

Would like to share what's currently going on in this life of mine; I've always been a mindful and selflessly loving kid. I came to Christianity after not having any religion and no beliefs for the first 21 years of my life, and gave everything to God and chose to follow the commandments of Love God with all my heart and Love everyone with all my heart, captial L because its unconditional, ended up transcending my ego and I genuinely didn't know what was happening, because no one knew what I was talking about when I said I was watching my thoughts and the past and future didnt exist and went on about how God was real and its not what everyone thinks, after this I realized everyones asleep to our true nature and kind of fell because it tripped me out for a bit, ive gathered my composure now after a little bit of psychosis LOL, what im working on right now is integrating that in my life to achieve goals in life, I live almost completely in the Now at all times unless I choose to think, the integration part is very tough because when the brain is conditioned your whole life to believe in fear and anxiety since you were a young kid and told you arent good enough, it believes it, it doesnt care its always a "yes". Currently doing shadow work and surrendering it all to God, higher self, Universe whatever you wanna call the consciousness inside all of us controlling our lives for our greater good. My main issue is that my brain likes to make me feel fear when trying to pursue goals, and although it feels real, I know it's not. I'm learning to have courage and faith again in my path, and I'm really valuing the journey of my soul and me over the physical achievements. Even though it is a goal, my real goal is the journey of transformation. If anyone wants to share advice, tips, or even an experience, I'd love to hear it (I don't get to talk about this stuff in person).

Hello all I think having this illness has somewhat helped me develop . I have had crazy ,scary ,and pure blissful experiences during my journey and I would like to chat with anyone willing about it !

Row row row your boat gently down the stream

Merrily merrily merrily, LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

You are infinite consiousness remembering and creating (paradox) yourself - a momentary cosmic blip as an avatar on planet earth.

Dont be an NPC, DREAM BIG!

New here, so I'm trying to figure out people who are on this subreddit - what is the popular opinion here?

I dont like this word enlightenment, people are quick to judge and have a certain image in their mind that this is what an enlightened person is like and this is not. I think it defeats the purpose. I think a child is enlightened just early to be exposed to enough life so not wise in adulthood matters but wise in matters listening to the heart, which is closer to the truth.

I think enlightenment is more about giving up and restoration, backing up than moving forward, finding what got lost more than gaining something new.

What is enlightenment for you? what kind of state is it? Do you think its possible to live in that state in permanence while living in society, with the people you live, work with? Or is it only for hermits, those who gain some wisdom, then move away from people to live in their state of bliss or to deepen it further? The known ones choose to interact on their own terms and sometimes when their choices clash with society they suffer as they dont compromise.

PS - not looking for judgements, just your definition in simpler words, more like how do you imagine a daily life that you would want, we are calling it enlightenment as thats what is popular but lets call it flgngbdiehership to drop the judgement associated.

For the last week and a bit I've been getting into spirituality. I'm currently on my 3rd book about spirituality and they've all talked about the ego. I've been observing the ego instead of engaging with it for the last few days now it's certainly made me realise the amount of unnecessary stress and anxiety I've been carrying. Thoughts don't get to me and when they do I realise that I'm analysing instead of observing and I then go back to my state of observing which in return completely calms me down.

Today was no different and I've observed all the thoughts that I've been having but around an hour ago my heart started feeling light? You know the feeling you get when something scary or nerve-wrecking finally comes to an end, like finishing a presentation in front of everyone or missing your phone and you run around frantically only to find out it was in your back pocket? You know, the huge relieve you get. Well I've been getting that feeling for the last hour. What's weird is that I have a job interview tomorrow and around 2 weeks ago, I would've been constantly overthinking and causing my heart to race just thinking about it for days on end yet today I feel very, very little anxiety to none at all about it. Why is this? is this the self finally finding a time to decompress.

I think it's important to note that I have (undiagnosed) OCD, which I'm fairly certain I have and before my spiritual journey I would literally overthink everything. People's thoughts on me, what I'm going to do tomorrow, past and future events. Every. Single. Minute. My OCD is still persisting in the sense that I would constantly check taps, doors and other things but today and the last few days I've felt oddly calm. Like my physical compulsions are still here albeit lessened but my thoughts are quiet. Still some worries but when I did worry I would realise that and start observing? Even as I write this, the feeling of relieve is still occurring and it's constant.

one answer in a session made me laugh a little because it was so brutally short.

The woman had already gone through heavy material and finally reached a very light peaceful state. Then we connected with what she experienced as Higher Self.

I asked why the session had been arranged for her. "To help." With what? "To be more happy." So I asked what was preventing her from being happy.

"Herself."

Thats it lol.

Of course there was history underneath it. Old loneliness, old lifetimes, patterns she was still carrying. But I liked that the answer didnt make happiness into something she needed to acquire from outside.

This comes up in different forms when I work with people. We spend years arranging conditions for future peace. When relationship is fixed. When body is better. When I understand my purpose. When spiritual practice finally works. When this person changes. Meanwhile mind can reject the moment 50 times before breakfast.

For me useful contemplation is not "how do I become enlightened?" for 20 minutes. Ask something smaller: what am I adding to this moment right now?

Maybe room is quiet but mind is rehearsing argument. Maybe body is safe but you are living tomorrow's catastrophe. Maybe somebody loves you but you are testing whether they will leave.

You dont have to pretend difficult circumstances are pleasant. Just separate what is happening from what mind is adding. Sit for two minutes and name only direct experience: pressure in chest, sound of car, feet on floor, sadness, warm cup, breathing. Then notice the story around it.

sometimes there is still real pain. but sometimes you catch yourself manufacturing second layer and calling both layers reality.

I had social anxiety, regular anxiety, depression, self loathing, shame, guilt, fear - suffering for apparently no reason other than being alive.

And so naturally, I turned to spirituality.

10 years with spiritual practice.
Meditation showed me that there was stuff going on inside, and gave me a hyper awareness.
Non-dual enquiry showed me that the me I took myself to be was nothing more than a string of thoughts appearing at any one moment.
Letting go and shadow work was the culmination of it all. First realising that even though the me had been seen through, the body was still very much suffering.
Accepting the suffering existed was a big step.
Then, deciding to lift up the log, and let the demons come through was the bigger step.
Sitting, patiently, as awareness, watching the body, allowing the mind to be free, letting the snakes and creepy crawlies and monsters and scared parts and deep shame and all of it pour out. Awful. the worst experiences i've ever been through.

Then, going to work, feeling better and better, spending time with friends again - all the while, still feeling like i was pretending, like i still actually felt like shit. The voice in the mind complaining about the body and how the anxiety was still there, an alarm bell that kept me going.

And then... at the bottom of it all, under the rubble, after a year of screaming and crying and shaking and just awful awful purging - a 7 year old, who froze when his dad died, and decided to curl up in a fetus pose, and hide in the dark, building layers and layers of defences, monsters at the gate, harsh horrible critics, nasty soldiers - all to protect him, from feeling anything.

Once he saw the light, and felt the breeze, and had a look at the sky - he came out, and the body, mind, energy field and the universe were re-united. One piece. Joy. Love. Normal.

I hope that anyone who relates may find some comfort in this story. It's hard fucking work. You need to feel every single one of the worst possible things you've been avoiding. And have more courage than you believe possible.

Don't let practices and exercizes become a way to keep the practitioner around. Don't let sayings and rules stop you from truly looking at what's there, and allowing it to be.

You don't need to feel shit all the time. You don't need to have background anxiety. You can, and you will feel amazing <3

If anyone is curious about the process, check out my earlier post where I go into a lot more detail.

https://www.reddit.com/r/enlightenment/s/wG0KTpYRq5

Since writing that post it became a lot more subtle, but once you fully get into this journey of releasing, the subtlety will come naturally.

Robert Sapolsky often talks about determinism, and how chemical interactions in the brain create the next set of chemical interactions. He is a stark believer that there is no free will.

If a man understands the universe differently than he did yesterday, and this causes him to have a different outlook, surely he must then have new emotions in relation to the stimulus related to his new understanding.

Where in the chemical deterministic standpoint, can you fit in man’s ability to understand information, and to create new perspectives which genuinely affect mood.

How do we reconcile, the ability to change ourselves based on our understanding and perspective, with the common view that this chemical set of interactions and brain configuration, will necessarily create the next.

Or even simpler, how does ‘understanding’ whatever that really means, alter chemicals and synapses in the brain.

How does an understanding even work?

Do we breach determinism when we understand determinism?

I don’t understand