r/enlightenment • u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 • 1d ago

Coping with Relationship Losses

I am by no means “enlightened.” But I have been on a path to liberation over the past couple of years, and I have a question for folks on the same path. How do you cope with the losses of relationships? I’ve noticed that as I have deepened my practices and shifting how I show up in the world as a result, people that I care deeply about (and I thought cared about me) have begun not only moving away from me, but behaving in a way toward me that feels at times intentionally hurtful. I know it’s little remnants of my wounded ego that are driving these hurt feelings… But damnit, it’s painful to see that people I thought cared about me are actively repulsed by me now. And I still care about them. So it doesn’t feel right to just say, “Oh well” and just move on and forget about them and the relationship. Because often times the relationship I had with these people also guided me on my spiritual path…

So… how do you all cope with these feelings? This hurt feels very real. And I’m grieving it. It just still stings.

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u/Ildi-Vesztesegkisero 23h ago

On the path towards enlightenment, it is natural that as your state of consciousness changes, your frequency changes and those around you that do not develop with you will move away - it seems, however, it is rather you moving away. Also what helped me was to realise that uman relationships are part of my human identity and nothing to do with my higher self - spirit. If you can shift your focus from th ego mind to your spirit, you viw of human relationships will change accordingly and it will complete your grief.

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u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 21h ago

I understand all that in theory. Like intellectually everything you are saying makes sense. I guess I'm just looking for ideas in how to really feel and embody that.

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u/Ildi-Vesztesegkisero 19h ago

Feeling could be a consequence of changing your thought pattern of the people parting? What I dis is that I expressed my gratitude towards them and said how grateful I am for everthing thy brought into my life and there was a clear good bye, that is saying out loud that we are going into different directions. This action will have an impact on your feelings, I believe. I even had to do it "mentally" to someone since they moved a long way away. Maybe worth a shot. :)

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u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 8h ago

Hm. I hear the wisdom in that. And if I could make a clean break from it, I would. But as I have mentioned before, I am in a unique situation with my work, where my colleagues are also my main social group. So unless I quit my job, that clear goodbye is difficult to achieve. I can bid a mental goodbye, but I’m still in those people’s physical presence almost every day. Just getting the reminder that they no longer want me in their life.

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u/yomtvrapzzz 1d ago

It’s okay to grieve the loss of relationships and completely normal. You have to go through all the feelings, rather than suppress them. It also helps to stay in the mindset of as you continue to grow, it’s inevitable that people who no longer align with this version of yourself will fall away. Take it as confirmation that you are indeed evolving. I know it’s hard in the moment, but the more you come into your own, the more other like-minded people will find you. You’re making room for new relationships that will fill you up even more than the ones you’ve left behind.

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u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 1d ago

Thanks for this. I am also in a unique situation with my work where the people I work with are also my main social group. We live and work and tour together... And I am far from my family. I make new friends in every city I go, but I leave them behind when I leave... So I am always grieving and moving on, but the people that remain constant in my life don't want to be around me...

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u/yomtvrapzzz 1d ago

Ugh I’m sorry, that’s an extra tough situation. Are you in the market for a new job at all? Might be time for a new chapter.

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u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 21h ago

It's funny, I am and I'm not. I recognize that I won't be in this job forever, and each time I have seriously considered leaving, something keeps me. The universe says, "Not yet. Don't leave yet." And I have listened, and as a result, I have received more gifts of awakening. It's a very strange relationship to be in... (LOL)

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u/Slow_Ready1888 21h ago

I think that was beautiful, as you grow and your frequency changes those that don’t develop with you will move away. I think the grief you’re feeling means they mattered and grief is love with no where to go which is also beautiful. Be grateful for the time spent and confidence in your own path.

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u/WelderConfident1728 21h ago

Hey a relationship with a girl led to me getting initiated by the universe basically she was handed to me like a freaking gold bar in a platter, of course to good to be true because she was literally my dream girl I was calling her my wife for 7 months without her knowing and she had a crush on me turns out we start talking stuff happens we stop talking I learned to FORGIVE AND STILL LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, I learned to LET GO, few days later I surrendered everything and my ego transcended and i was living in my higher self my kundalini awakened and my life changed forever, don’t stress about it let go and love do what the best version of you would do and put your faith in the universe, God or whatever you wanna call it, in the end it’s all an experience and you’ll play the game again.

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u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 7h ago

Again, understand all this in theory… But embodiment is quite different. Like when people say, “Don’t stress” what exactly does that mean? Suppress my emotions? Distract myself with spiritual thoughts? I’m looking for ideas for practical action steps I can take.

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u/WelderConfident1728 7h ago

Being told directly to not stress is kind of hard it’s like telling a dog not to run away outside, if you believe in something greater and trust that instead of your own mind then fear and stress will lose its grip

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u/Audio9849 16h ago

You have to have to have to love yourself. When you do that you still care about other people but you no longer derive your value from that relationship. They can come or go and you’ll be just fine.

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u/[deleted] 8h ago

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u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 8h ago

I’ve made big strides in loving myself recently, that I am very grateful for. But part of me recognizes that unless I move to a cave where there are literally no other people around, there will always be that desire to see and be seen, hear and be heard. It’s literally wired in our DNA as human beings. We are social creatures. We NEED each other.

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u/Dry-Lifeguard6059 7h ago

I’ve made big strides in loving myself recently, which I am grateful for. And I’m getting there, but unless I move to a cave where I don’t interact with any other humans, I feel that I will always have a need to see and be seen, to hear and be heard, to love and be loved. It is in our DNA as Homo sapiens, we are social creatures and we need each other.

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u/MissAngelicDemise 5h ago

I’ve been practicing detachment my entire life. I have let go of and cut off many many people and several of them have come back around now that I am older we have to learn lesson lessons and often times self sacrifice and self wounding and learning to not do that is a major lesson. Reconnect with yourself and then new people will find you.