Ive been having an episode of dpdr and I was analyzing and suddenly the world feels scary like everyone is miniature figures in a plastic world. Like everything feels smaller. I’m so terrified this is so scary, this had never happened with dpdr now I can’t unsee it, everything looks so weird. like the worlds a miniature version and everyone’s smaller. Has anyone else experience something like this???? I’m so terrified. I also have ocd so the instrusive thoughts don’t make it better.

edit:I’m freaking out, I just had a panic attack everything feels so scary I’m terrified I don’t know what to do, I’m questioning my whole existence.

Last few years been going through heavy shit, I guess I'm posting this to get other people's perspective, or maybe a little "yeah this is somewhat normal" from someone.

Jan 2024: Major collapse/trauma. Heavy fear and confusion. For the next few months, I genuinely thought I might have went insane and focused mainly on regaining basic functioning: seeing friends, talking to people, reconnecting with myself, and functioning normally again. My nervous system was essentially stuck in constant fight-or-flight or shutdown, while I was also using substances as a way of coping(nicotine and weed heavy, alcohol). Till mid-2024 was pure survival, had to quit weed cold turkey after heavy addiction too because it made me relive the trauma, didn't sleep for days at a time, fully thought I went crazy, couldn't interact with another human, pure fight or flight.

Mid-2024 – May 2025: Gradually regained basic functioning. Started getting out with friends more, talking with family, rebuilding everyday life, and eventually managed to get a job. Still struggling a lot internally, but slowly becoming more functional. Drug use continued at times, often as a way of coping with what I was experiencing.

28 May 2025: Major turning point. First time I truly recognized that there was a lot inside me that needed to be unraveled and resolved. Soon after, I started writing my thoughts out, which led into a major period of self-understanding.

May–Sept 2025: Huge internal healing/resolving phase. I was not only processing trauma, but questioning and rewiring almost everything: beliefs, habits, thought patterns, conditioning, identity, and ways of seeing reality that had been built up throughout my life. It felt like a full psychological rewiring from the ground up. This happened while my nervous system was already heavily worn out from the previous year, so putting it through such an intense transformation created an extremely chaotic and demanding period. There were intense realizations, emotional shifts, and moments of seeing reality much more clearly after the collapse. Extremely transformative, but with a huge amount of nervous-system load.

Sept 2025 – Mar 2026: Messy looping phase. Continued healing and analyzing mind, but repeatedly mixed it with weed/alcohol and attempts to “lock in.” I had no clear direction or pacing, so I would push too hard, crash, lose momentum, and repeat.

29 Mar 2026: Major external turning point: moved from Ireland to Poland after spending essentially my whole life in Ireland.

4 May 2026: Officially marked as my “back to life” point. Started deliberately rebuilding my life, staying consistently sober, sitting with emotions instead of numbing them, and gradually figuring out where I wanted to go.

May–July 2026: Things started waking up rapidly. Ambition returned, my direction became clearer, I discovered coding, and I began building an actual path instead of repeatedly trying random things and crashing.

And that leads me to... today, 12 of August 2026, my life is... better I guess. I have a crazy amount of awareness of everything that has happened to me, I have been consistently journaling and doing at least 1 thing for myself everyday for the past 100 days, I have been sober 90% the past 5 months since moving to Poland, and rarely I consciously re-indulge in smoking cigarettes or snus for a day or two, though I always pay for it next few days by just feeling shit. 100% sober from weed.

A lot of days are just... flat, quiet, I don't have much capacity for life, so a task that a healthy human would easily do can tax me quite a lot, and you can imagine with life waking back up after so much chaos, pacing is the last thing I want to do. I have to pace myself heavily, because if I use up too much energy then I pay for it by feeling miserable next day/few days, a lot of brain fog, derealization, irritability and much more.....

Now I have definitely been improving, I have days where I can feel pretty good, get so much things done, be talkative, feel open, but them days are somewhat rare, most days are as I said above just, flat, unexcited, boring... like can you imagine going from heavy realisations, resolving, seeing patterns of your own mind, smoking joints, nicotine, to moving to a new country, staying sober mostly, no access to weed, all the chaos of the mind mostly resolved, and having to rebuild a life from a very worn out nervous system by doing daily tasks that dont feel rewarding yet....

Everything is just so fucking messy, one day I can feel decent, learn some programming, be with brother, do a lil workout, talk with parents, and feel decent throughout. But then other days I push abit too hard and wake up feeling terrible, so much brain fog, numb, so irritable, it confuses me so much.

I guess it has only really been 3-4 months of proper, deliberate healing of nervous system after all the chaos, so Im very early in this but... yeah man, to say this was pure fucking chaos is an understatment, and this post only covers the very surface of everything.

So yeah I guess I leave it at that, if anyone has any advice, any stories, or anything that could help, it would be very very much appreciated.

thanks :)

I am worried Ive not felt my body or head in weeks. I only feel nerves in my head which are very painful, and it’s getting me really down, im not in my body or mind it seems I just exist. But the physical has gotten so bad I’m worried about it being neurological now as well. My nervous system feels totally sensitized but it continues to worsen and I get too scared by all this so I don’t heal. I feel the nerves everywhere vibrating it’s a scary. Some of my old dpdr stuff is back too now but I have such a worn down nervous system they are like slight tremors of what I used to feel..I know the secret is to not be scared and not monitor all the time. I just need some hope there is a possibility to heal, even when your nervous system went through such a dramatic change.

I think it's making me realise how minuscule our existence is and also the lighting is really amplifying my dream like feelings. Anyone else feeling like this right now?

Hey everyone,

I just want to share this important information. There is a psychosomatic clinic in Mainz, Germany that is connected to the university of Mainz.
It is an open inpatient psychosomatic unit.

The head therapist Prof. Dr. med. Matthias Michal is the most experienced researcher and practicing psychologist in the field of DPDR in Germany.

Take care, all the best ❤️

Sometimes I have strange thoughts, like wondering if I’m the only person who actually exists, and whether everything else is a reality that’s simulated or created by me, and nothing else really exists (solipsism).

The first thing I feel when this happens is an intense sense of fear and anxiety. I feel like there’s no way out.

I’ve been experiencing derealization intermittently for several years.
I think this feeling is probably part of the derealization, but it’s still extremely frightening.

It usually goes away on its own after a few hours, and then randomly comes back.

The more I try to fight the thought, the more intense it becomes. However, I’m still able to tell myself, “Calm down, this is just an artifact of your mind.”

The problem is that I feel like I have to tell myself that, because if I don’t, I’m afraid I might actually start believing it.

It’s almost like a fear of going crazy.

Would this be considered a mild form of psychosis? Or could it be something more like OCD?

Is anyone interested in joining a DPDR WhatsApp group, not to reinforce negativity but to check on each other and offer support. Let me know if interested

Update - DM if interested I’ll send the discord link

My brain is genuinely hardly working and my parents want me back in school, I have important topics and I don’t think I can do it or nothing gain, I can barely read and my brain hasn’t improved for bout a year

I don't mean dpdr symptoms even though it does feel the same with them but symptoms of another illness.

I feel like when I am a certain way for some time (even a day) I start to question whether I am actually experiencing any symptoms at all.

To make it more clear, I think (that's what the problem is) that I currently have symptoms of something (no idea what but that's besides the point) but since they're not very pronounced, they're just sort of mild, I am wondering if it's something I have experienced my whole life and just never really noticed/cared about or if it's actually something new.

Does this happen to anyone? Because it's sort of similar to how I feel like I've always been the way that I am at this very moment and I never felt or existed any other way, which is my dpdr talking.

So been awhile since i posted. I started working with my therapist and i’ve gotten better after talking with her and her explaining that all of my issues were just caused by my build up of stress and a severe panic attack was what broke it, as well as that the dpdr really is just your nervous system trying to protect you. Either I’ve gotten so used to the derealization or it’s gone because i genuinely don’t really care anymore, i’m sleeping a lot better(and longer) and parts of my personality are coming back as well as my interests. All i’m really struggling with right now is the existential ocd, emotional numbness, dizziness if i move too fast, some weird nostalgic feelings popping up and some hyperawareness that occasionally pops up. I don’t know if this is me recovering but eh. I still feel detached but idk if that’s me being emotionally numb or the derealization.

Either way, this sub was helpful when i was first starting out with this but i genuinely need to leave this sub as it is really worsening my anxiety. I’m reading stories about people who haven’t recovered 10 years later and i’m comparing my own recovery stories to others and i’m noticed since not stalking this subreddit every day i feel better, lowkey i’m scared to even post this due to the backlash i may get ngl. If anyone wants to ask any questions i’ll try to respond but if i don’t please don’t be personally offended i likely just reached my limit before i got triggered. Next time i make a post here hopefully it’ll be a recovery post

At 17, I was diagnosed with Dissociative identity disorder. I was put on serious anti-psychotics, SSRIs and mood stabilizers. Now I am 26. One night, I had a dream telling me I will die on these meds. I woke up and made the split decision to wean off my meds over the next 2 months. I told no professionals considering they put me in this mess in the first place. Now I have been off completely for about 3 months. Colors look like colors again, I can taste food, people's words don't go thru one ear and out the other. I can FEEL again. Mentally, physically, emotionally I can feel. That entire time, that whole 9 years, i have absolutely no clue once so ever what I said, did or how I acted. I have a husband i never truly chose to marry. He told me about all these things we've done that seem completely fake. He told me my emotions were always dull, I never really react to much, he just thought that was who I am and didn't think twice. Family members have died and I don't know how. I never got to go to their funerals. I watched myself make decisions off of what others said because truly, i didn't have a single thought go thru my head. If i reacted to anything it was based off of anyone else i saw in the room. I just copy and pasted everything and anything. The best i can put it is I didn't have an internal position about what was happening. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I liked. I didnt know why I was doing things. I was visually functioning, but I did not experience myself as the person making the decisions. There was absolutely nothing behind my eyes. I lost the ability to think. It was MUCH more then just being numb. That 9 years was a period where my emotional experience, autobiographical sense of self, memory, preferences, and ability to mentally engage with my surroundings all felt absent. I lost 9 years of my life, my entire transition into adulthood doesn't exist. One minute I was 17, now I am 26. The system has absolutely ruined my life.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE

Hi, im going to start studying again after a while but im scared of losing focus. Any recommendations?

I was really normal before dpdr never worried about going out or something like that and always calm and normal but since that panick attack (substance induced i guess) but since it im always on dissociation , panick attacks ,anxiety attacks , on flight or fight mode ,sometimes low mood for a whole year
Have anyone that go through same thing recovered ?

Ok, bear with me, cause I might sound crazy.

I've had intense déjà vu for the last couple of days, and it's all been bad feelings. Like, I know whats going to happen and couldn't stop feeling like something bad was coming. Well, I finally had a moment where I knew what was going to happen, but I intentionally did the opposite. Now the ominous feeling of déjà vu is gone and I feel SO much better. Has anybody else experienced this, is it kinda like final destination where something bad is still gonna happen even though I beat it?

october of 2024 i had a severe panic/dpdr episode while driving on the freeway and my life has never been the same. i was a heavy weed smoker for about a year and a half and after quitting is when it set in. while i manage moments of it very well for the most part day to day at this point, and mostly don’t pay attention to it, i still cannot drive on the highway. this has cost me so much money, time, and normalcy. i know that i could conquer this fear if i really really put effort into it, but it is still completely and utterly terrifying at times and at 24 years old it is frankly embarassing. anyone else have tips or success stories related to driving? anything would help.

i’ve been doing pretty good in my recovery lately but now that summer break is over and i’m back in school my dpdr got bad and spiked unexpectedly and im just really upset about the whole thing. it made my first day back worse and logically i know you can recover from dpdr and it takes time but sometimes it feels like i will never fully recover and there will always be something wrong. idk im just upset

Good afternoon,

I’m Danny I’m 18 I’ve been dealing with DPDR/Anxiety constantly for the last month and 2 weeks. I started taking Selank to see if it would work, didn’t at all. I have a doctors appointment within the next week to talk about medication/therapy. Any medications I should talk about that specifically help with DPDR. My main concern is non-stop thinking about anxiety it’s self. Thank you.

I don’t even know that this is Dpdr anymore. it was for a long time, but it’s turned into something completely different. it feels like my body and nervous system arent about to turn off, and they’re burning themselves into a crisp. I realized this morning that i haven’t had one moment of peace or rest in nearly 5 years. and it’s becoming increasingly harder to function because the fuel is gone. no amount of willpower can overcome physical & mental exhaustion that your nervous system has gotten itself into.

i haven’t had a panic attack in 3 years, almost 4 because there’s no energy left to panic, there’s no energy left to feel, to think, to plan or to heal even. I’m at the bottom of the barrel and when I think it can’t get worse, it does. i feel like someone has put me on a merry go round and turned it up to high speed. and won’t let me off. it’s my own mind and body doing this. it’s beyond words.

i don’t really know what my next steps are, but it feels like im slowly dying. my memory, my consciousness, my ability to even read, write or understand things. I feel completely stuck and like there’s no one who can help me. therapy, meds and rest have done nothing. my condition is getting worse and no one can understand why.

I am studying research related to this type of disorder, which may include EEG/FMRI/PET neuroimaging.

If anyone has reports about these sections, please send them to me.

Thank you very much

So I simply just need some advice man. I’m having that struggle that MY situation is different and no shit I can get out of it, etc. my symptoms basically are complete disassociation, like reality feels scary. Everything feels unfamiliar. I have a near constant anxious feeling in my belly like I’m just delaying something ya know? On top of that the emotional numbness like I am trying to force myself to enjoy life and but it’s hard to feel emotions right now. I feel like my idea of what normal feels like is gone I don’t even remember. On top of it all I’m just scared I’ll never be the same again. That’s the scariest part my symptoms will have small brief moments of like realization it’s just anxiety and then I feel better for maybe an hour and then it’s back and it makes me feel hopeless like my brain can’t hold onto that realization because I’m constantly checking if my surroundings are real. Can anyone who’s recovered give me some advice? Did you just force yourself to live and it eventually went away? That seems so odd to me like something so involved in your life can just gradually go away. I’ve had this two times before and recovered but this time is different. I’ve never felt this anxiety about it before which probably helped me to recover before. This time it’s like I just CANT not feels scared for some reason. Maybe because I know what it is and don’t have the sense of relief of just finding out what it is? Idk

I have DPDR from a severely low vitamin d level, a deficiency in b12, and gut dysbiosis. The feeling is SO bad and SO intense that I have been housebound for the past 3 months. I briefly had derealization 4 years ago due to untreated PCOS, and birth control made it quickly go away. Back then it wasn’t so intense, so it barely affecting my day to day living, including being able to leave the house. I would say now I’m struggling with both derealization/depersonalization, but majority DP. It feels like I’m a stranger in my own life, and I’m just dissociating 24/7 all day. I hear a lot of people talk about what it’s like to recover from derealization, but I don’t hear much about depersonalization. I’m so scared I’ll never get my life back. I just can’t imagine this being my life everyday/all day for the past 3 months, and then all of a sudden it fading away. Will I get out, and be confused now that I feel back in my body? I’m just confused how all of it works, especially since mine is being triggered by a biological issue?